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  1. - Top - End - #1021
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    No, no, no, no, no! VxVxHaley!

    Maybe Belkar overheard Roy babbling about it in a drunk stupor, so he set up a spy camera? And then sold the footage to the highest bidder? And then Xykon Teevo's it?

    Actually, that could work...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  2. - Top - End - #1022
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    No, no, no, no, no! VxVxHaley!

    Maybe Belkar overheard Roy babbling about it in a drunk stupor, so he set up a spy camera? And then sold the footage to the highest bidder? And then Xykon Teevo's it?

    Actually, that could work...
    Can you do it? Please?

  3. - Top - End - #1023
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    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I'm thinking Haley and Elan are the most likely.

    Then again, maybe one night V and Kyrie were feeling particularly frisky...

    Ooh! Ooh! The V/Haley/Elan threesome! Have them tape the V/Haley/Elan threesome!
    Umm, the electronic store is sold out for the holidays.

    Quote Originally Posted by Monzach View Post
    Dude, I wasn't commenting on anything apart from my, sick, sick imagination.
    OK. Thats what I thought.
    Your local Cleric.

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    (yes, that is possible)

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  4. - Top - End - #1024
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I could try, Coffee. But I'm not sure I could do such a funny idea justice...

    Who was the original writer of VxVxHaley?
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  5. - Top - End - #1025
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Zanaril.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    No, no, no, no, no! VxVxHaley!

    Maybe Belkar overheard Roy babbling about it in a drunk stupor, so he set up a spy camera? And then sold the footage to the highest bidder? And then Xykon Teevo's it?

    Actually, that could work...
    People still remember my stories?
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-12-23 at 11:33 PM.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  6. - Top - End - #1026
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    You mean the one where Roy was drinking after walking in on V and V, and Haley came up and tortured Roy? Yeah, I remember that. I was actually going to have Belkar be the next person to talk to Roy, and the plot run from there.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  7. - Top - End - #1027
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Of course, I never specified whether Haley did indeed take part in the Vaarsuvii's fooling around or not...
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  8. - Top - End - #1028
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Of course, I never specified whether Haley did indeed take part in the Vaarsuvii's fooling around or not...
    So what are you waiting for???

  9. - Top - End - #1029
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Of course, I never specified whether Haley did indeed take part in the Vaarsuvii's fooling around or not...
    I would have thought that you knew enough of this thread to realise that we will always believe the squickiest option.

    Think of it as Vaarsuvius's Razor.

  10. - Top - End - #1030
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    But who says she won't.

    But like I said, I'm probably not the best suited for writing this one...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  11. - Top - End - #1031
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    But who says she won't.

    But like I said, I'm probably not the best suited for writing this one...
    And I'm still too depressed to write something.

    I've just suppressed my ever-growing torrent of negative emotions under the happy facade that used to be me through and through.

  12. - Top - End - #1032
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    The squickiest option there would be... hm... Haley entering Roy's bedroom by night, wearing nothing but hastily retrieved underwear, pretending she's thinking she entered the Vaarsuvii's room... Roy's going to need many cold showers after that.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    So what are you waiting for???
    I did mention once that I couldn't think about writing without crying.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  13. - Top - End - #1033
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Well hopefully the happy emotions will osmosize... osmosise... ozmos... oszisizoms... ossss........

    Screw it.

    If you try to be happy, you'll start to feel happy. Kinda how if you listen to angry or depressing music, you feel angry or depressed afterwards. So yeah, feel happy, be happy.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  14. - Top - End - #1034
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    The correct verb is osmose.

    And it doesn't work for me.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  15. - Top - End - #1035
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I was refering to Coffee trying to cover up her negative emotions with a happy face. There's a difference in pretending to be happy and trying to distract yourself with things to cheer yourself up. The latter is a lot more effective...


    Why can't you write unless you cry, if you don't mind my asking?
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  16. - Top - End - #1036
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    People, I'm going to bed now...it's almost morning and I neeed some shut-eye.'

    Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Krazy Kwanzaa and Hilarious Holidays to all Crack Fic regulars and lurkers.

  17. - Top - End - #1037
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Why can't you write unless you cry, if you don't mind my asking?
    I don't even know myself. It just happens. I'm miserable every time writing enters my mind.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  18. - Top - End - #1038
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Thats... odd. Do you feel bad about your writing or something? I don't see why you should, or why the idea of writing should upset you...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  19. - Top - End - #1039
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Do you feel bad about your writing or something?
    No. I perfectly know which of my stories are good and which are... less good.

    I don't see why you should, or why the idea of writing should upset you...
    I don't see either. It's not exactly heartening.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  20. - Top - End - #1040
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Is it a fear of being judged and/or people not liking your stuff?


    Hm. I suppose it could just be a quirk. Sometimes people cry about odd things for no apparent reason. There's really nothing you can do about it...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  21. - Top - End - #1041
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Is it a fear of being judged and/or people not liking your stuff?
    No. I've never feared being judged and I'm well aware and understand fully that I can't please everyone. I'm still wretched though.

    Hm. I suppose it could just be a quirk. Sometimes people cry about odd things for no apparent reason. There's really nothing you can do about it...
    I guess.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  22. - Top - End - #1042
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    *hugs CoffeeIncluded* Glad to see you've cheered up a bit Coffee. However bad it is, I'm sure you can find a way to pull through. It's never the end of the world, and there's always a way to get back on your feet, even if it looks harder than you first thought.

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    I hate to completely change the subject, but anyone up to doing part 4 of the round robin?

    Here's what we've got so far:
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    Vaarsuvius's eyes opened slowly, the last traces of memories drifting back into the past. And mercifully, they were no longer memories of the soldiers, once forsaken, never to be forgotten, but at least the elf was now forgiven. The ceiling swam into view.

    Ceiling.

    Vaarsuvius almost jumped in shock, heart racing, and looked around the room. It shouldn't be a room, it should be a desert. They were in the middle of a desert, searching for Girard's gate. The room stayed unwaiveringly real.

    A warm hand touched the elf's bare shoulder, and Vaarsuvius realised with a creeping dread than not only was this not the desert, not only was the elf in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar bed, but the only thing preserving the Elf's modesty was a layer of sheets and blankets.

    And the hand. There was someone else here. Vaarsuvius stared at the unfamiliar human who had reached out and was now creeping their hand up to one pointed ear. Sleepy eyes met the elf's and their owner smiled.

    "You're awake early. Last night was something huh?"

    Vaarsuvius stared, wide-eyed, and a small indistinct sound escaped the elf's throat. If the elf had been any other humanoid this could have been dismissed as a dream. But elves don't dream; this was real. The next second the mage had scrambled out of the bed and was pulling on the discarded robe that had been strewn haphazardly over a chair, presumably during the 'last night' of which there was no recollection.

    "Wait, what -" the human started, but Vaarsuvius had already sped out of the door.

    Vaarsuvius didn't get far. The door led to a corridor, and just as the elf was making an impromptu retreat another door opened a short distance along. The elf ran full-on into the person who then stepped out into the corridor, knocking the wind out of both of them. This gave them both an opportunity to notice who they had collided with.

    "What in the nine hells are you?" Vaarsuvius exclaimed at the other figure.

    "I could ask you the same." the other Vaarsuvius hissed back.

    Neither Vaarsuvius had time to respond, because the strange human emerged from the bedroom, shaking his dark hair out of his blue eyes. "Hey, I don't know what your problem is, but-" He stopped short at the sight of the two Vaarsuviui.

    "There are two of you." He said this with the air of someone who, upon arriving late to their own birthday party, was informed that all of the cake had been eaten.

    "Who are you?" said the second Vaarsuvius, at the same time that the first said, "No there are not!"

    "Sure looks like there are two of you," he said, in the same, slightly wounded voice. "And I, am the Sorcerer Xykon." He said this with flourish, as if they should know this already, and were slightly stupid for not.

    The first Vaarsuvius let out a shrill squawk, and the second glared, shouting, "First you steal my image, and then you sleep with my enemy using it?"

    "I did not steal your image, Interloper! If anything, I should be reducing you to a pile of soot! I am a wizard, fiend!"

    "You're a wizard?" Xykon's voice took on a chilly edge, but neither Vaarsuvius heard him. They were sizing each other up, looking for weaknesses. "Hey! Elf Chick! Look at me when I am talking to you!" He roughly grabbed what he thought was his Vaarsuvius by the shoulders, spinning the elf to face him.

    "I am not a 'Chick!' You seek my doppleganger." spat the 2nd Vaarsuvius.

    "Great. Just frickin' great. I manage to shack up with some freaky clone elf wizard chick. This is just freakin' spectacular." He released the male elf, and grabbed the female by the throat.

    "I oughta break your neck." The shouting had attracted attention. All up and down the hall, tousled heads poked out of heavy oak doors, similar expressions of shock and horror on each face.

    Vaarsuvius was gasping for air when a door opened and... Vaarsuvius looked out. But not at her self, but the spliced her.

    "What's going on." the spliced Vaarsuvius said with a tired voice.

    "Another one. Wait you're that bitch I almost killed. Are you the same or do you only have one of those faces?" Xykon screamed.

    "Well we are twins but that one I don't know about." The male elf said.

    "Any ways. Fire ball." the female elf roared and pointed a finger to the... goth elf. Next they all stared at her finger that had absolutly not launched a fire ball.

    "Sis we don't have our spellbooks. Nor any components." the male one said.
    "I don't think we got enough sleep last night to continue with things that are bad for us..."

    Now Xykon realised that he didn't have any spells. The goth elf smiled.
    "Five, four, three, two, one. Why can't I wake up? Is it real?"
    The ‘goth’ elf's face seemed to shimmer, as though it was just a façade of something much, much deeper.

    "Oh, this is very real. At least it is for you lot.”

    "For us? Praytell, what do you mean by that?'" one Vaarsuvius demanded. "And why do you look like me?!"

    The Elf's face flickered again. "All good questions, and they will be answered in time. However, what you need to know now is that while you are here you will be unable to fatally harm one another. Well, unless you want them too." The elf's face - the mask of an elf's face - split into a grin of needle sharp teeth.

    "I demand you tell us-"

    "So, I suggest you cease this pointless warring and get better acquainted. With yourselves as well as each other." Zanaril's avatar* turned to Xykon.

    "You're a bit ahead of your game for that body, don't you think?" She made a small gesture, and the skin on Xykon's face melted like liquid wax. It poured down his robes and into the floor, and when he looked up his eyes were nothing but two pinpricks of light in empty sockets.

    "You... bitch! I didn't even get to have one last cup of coffee!"

    "Suck it up."

    She glanced at the elves. "May I suggest you run? He may not be able to kill you, but... Well, goodbye." The avatar disappeared in a puff of smoke.

    The male Vaarsuvius put a hand to his forehead. "Did I.... did I just refer to you as my sister."

    "That's it! Spell or no spells, I will wring your scrawny little necks!"

    "May I propose that now is not the time?"

    The other elf nodded, and they both turned and ran down the corridor, away from the newly lichified Xykon.

    And ran.

    And ran.

    They stopped, panting, and looked back to see the corridor stretching continuously away from them.

    "What... what is this place?"

    "I could ask you the same my dear. My dears."

    The elves turned round to see a smiling black haired human. He was wearing knee-length boots. He was wearing a large, feathered hat. He was wearing a long, sweeping coat. He was wearing it all with the poise of someone who knows they're a smarmy jerk, and would you like to get to know a little bit more of me?

    "My dear. I was not expecting to see you so soon.” He eyed the other elf “...And I thought it would be impossible to see more of you than I had already seen."

    "I have never met you before in my life" One of the elves said, scowling as the human's eyes strayed down their robes.

    "Come on now. I can't say I am one for remembering every one of my lovers, but surely you haven't already forgotten our night together? It was merely days ago. Unless it was your twin I bedded?"

    "She is not my-" And the elf paused, suddenly uncertain as odd memories flash behind his eyes. Oddly, memories of Haley...

    He shook his head vigorously. "She is not my twin. Furthermore, I am male."

    The younger Julio Scoundrel's eyes snapped back up to face level. "So it must not have been you. I certainly would have noticed. My dear?" The last comment was directed to the female elf, whose expression was a mask of dread, but whose ears and face had turned bright pink.


    *A literal avatar. In this thread, we are gods!

    Note:
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    The Julio here is from about thirty years previously, and therefore won't recognise Elan if they meet, although Elan will almost certainly recognise him. Whether or not you want to have the female (eg, the current 'canon' V) recognize him from thirty years ago is completely up to you.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-24 at 02:09 PM.
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  23. - Top - End - #1043
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Asta Kask, you're little encyclopedia entry about elves' ears was hysterical. Same for ShinyDelusions' most recent story. You really got the way Haley's emotions worked and conflicted with one another down pat.

    I realize I'm late to actually help with this, but I just wanted to say that I can sympathize with how you feel, CoffeeIncluded. I felt the exact same way when I was in high school. Hell, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if a lot of us here (at least, those of us who've graduated) didn't feel that way when we were there. But really, if there's something I've realized, it's that scholastic opportunities are honestly harder to pass you by than it turns out a lot of the times. It sounds stupid but its really what I've found as I've gotten older and headed into college.

    I know I'm not exactly all that helpful, but I guess I just wanted some kind of chance to say something encouraging, though I realize I'm failing. Really, I can't think of much to say or offer you that hasn't already been said. Not exactly reassuring for someone studying psychology as their major .

    On another note, you guys are making me feel friggin' old. I had no clue there were so many high school students here apparently. Not that I'm complaining; I guess it just took me off guard. And I'd rather not think too much on things that reaffirm that I'm already becoming a somewhat old man at 22. The receding hairline I'm developing is doing that enough, thank you very much.

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher
    The guidance councilor wound up hitting on my grandma at my grandpa's funeral. Just to bring the post back to the Grandma topic.
    I'm sorry, but I need details. Stat.
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  24. - Top - End - #1044
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    *Comes out*

    What's going on over here?

    Oh boy... *Get's grabbed by the tail and dragged away*

    Hey! I'm trying to talk to people here!

  25. - Top - End - #1045
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Nathander View Post
    On another note, you guys are making me feel friggin' old. I had no clue there were so many high school students here apparently. Not that I'm complaining; I guess it just took me off guard. And I'd rather not think too much on things that reaffirm that I'm already becoming a somewhat old man at 22. The receding hairline I'm developing is doing that enough, thank you very much.
    I'm dreading turning 17, since once I do I'll no longer be able to pretend I'm still a child. And it's barely four months away.

    You know how it is with getting older; it sneaks up on you. When you're 10, 13 looks so far away, and 14 is something that'll never happen to you. Then before you know it, you're 15, but hey, that's still young right? Then you're 16, then you're 17.... I worry that one day I'll stop to look and I'll be thirty or fourty, and I'll still be in denile about my age.
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  26. - Top - End - #1046
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    So...this begs a question.

    What's better, elven ears or draconic tails?

    Because a dragons tail is like an elfs ear... *Get's dragged away again* HEY!

  27. - Top - End - #1047
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Closak View Post
    So...this begs a question.

    What's better, elven ears or draconic tails?

    Because a dragons tail is like an elfs ear... *Get's dragged away again* HEY!
    We heard you the first time.

    Being a half-elf half-dragon is obviously best.

    Like some of those eggs the ABD laid, since we all know who else she gets the most screen-time with.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-24 at 06:16 AM.
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  28. - Top - End - #1048
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    We heard you the first time.

    Being a half-elf half-dragon is obviously best.

    Like some of those eggs the ABD laid, since we all know who else she gets the most screen-time with.
    Hmmm... VxClosakxABD...

    For CoffeeIncluded
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    CI, it's good to hear you feel better. I've been down that path myself, and it led me to bad places. But if you actually have suicidal thoughts, then whatever you are doing isn't helping. Go to a psychiatrist. Please. There's help to be found. (I'd recommend physical exercise as well, but you're on the school swimming team so I assume you get that...) And if you have any questions about physics, or chemistry, or biology, PM me. Even if I don't know the answers, I know who to ask. And you are not intruding - I love teaching, especially with bright students (and you are bright). I'm your friend, let me help.


    Funny thing is, Closak, I almost went with dragons' tails instead of dwarven beards. I suppose twisted minds think alike...
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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  29. - Top - End - #1049
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Hmmm... VxClosakxABD...

    NO.


    Just no.
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  30. - Top - End - #1050
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post

    NO.


    Just no.
    Why.
    Unrelated side note.
    Why does my tounge taste like chewing gum.
    Glad you feel better Coffee.
    Last edited by The Odor; 2009-12-24 at 07:13 AM.
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
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