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  1. - Top - End - #481
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Yiuel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Lemme guess, Elan's daughter is a cleric of Banjo, right?
    I really thought about that one. Really hard. I still hesitate. Seriously, it would be epic
    Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!
    Spoiler
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    The Order of the Stick Jr.
    Meet : Alexander, Joan, Ross, Leilandius, Hitomi, Ngoc and Arduvanius


    As interpreted (and drawn) by yours truly, Yiuel

    Yiuel LeMelvillois
    Only on blank paper do we write the best stories...

  2. - Top - End - #482
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Cracklord, your last piece was fantastic. I'm not overly familiar with 40k, but I knew enough about it to know who Slaanesh was.

    MReav, fantastic piece. I kinda guessed what was going on when Belkar and Shojo started talking with one another, which really just made the story funnier. Great work.

    Same to you Discord. That's a poignant little story you have there, and I think it works just fine.

    Fantastic work on your comics as always, half-halfling. Can't wait for the next one.
    Last edited by Nathander; 2010-01-02 at 11:10 PM.
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  3. - Top - End - #483
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Yiuel View Post
    I really thought about that one. Really hard. I still hesitate. Seriously, it would be epic
    Speaking of epic destinies... (last spoilers box within the first spoilers box)

    Quote Originally Posted by Nathander View Post
    Same to you Discord. That's a poignant little story you have there, and I think it works just fine.
    Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    No, I'm saying that perhaps that image could be applied in some way.

    *Grins and nods*


    Spoiler
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    *giggle*
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  4. - Top - End - #484
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Speaking of epic destinies... (last spoilers box within the first spoilers box)


    Thank you.




    Spoiler
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    Ballroom


    *giggle*
    Pffffff--

    (That means it's funny and I liked it.)
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 11:46 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #485
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Hilarious.

    Though I'm not against the idea of Elan in a wedding dress next to Roy in a tuxedo at the alter anyway...

  6. - Top - End - #486
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    I can see Elan wearing the dress and Haley the tuxedo at their marriage myself...
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  7. - Top - End - #487
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    I can see Elan wearing the dress and Haley the tuxedo at their marriage myself...
    Please draw that. And the reaction of the rest of the Order too.

  8. - Top - End - #488
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
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    RoyXElan


    *giggle*
    It's the rose that really does it for me. No clue why, but it being there just screams perfect.
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  9. - Top - End - #489
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Nathander View Post
    It's the rose that really does it for me. No clue why, but it being there just screams perfect.
    You have Coffee's friend to thank for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Please draw that. And the reaction of the rest of the Order too.
    Haha, maybe. It would require much work though.

    And more pregnancy, and this time it's not V!

    Spoiler
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    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  10. - Top - End - #490
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post

    And more pregnancy, and this time it's not V!
    You've got some kind of pregnancy fetish, don't you?

  11. - Top - End - #491
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    My brother's done with his applications! Keep your fingers crossed for him to get into a college he wants! :D

    Oh, and post of epic longness coming your way.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Uh, I can function fine with medication. In places where it's better for me to be hyper (Mainly the animal shelter), I don't take it.
    That's good. I've got some friends who need to stay in my old special ed school from kindergarten to senior year because their ADHD is so horrible.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    If I remember correctly, Tieflings are those with demonic/diabolic blood.
    Ah. Was I thinking of warlocks, then?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Who is Yutrin?
    Oh, right, you weren't here for that. Welcome back, by the way! :D

    I started a different story for fun. Basically, it's about Mijung, Kraagor, and that goblin cleric from SoD (I call him Yutrin) waking up on the world within the Snarl. Yutrin's a very nervous but inquisitive and good-hearted guy--in this state of confusion, he defines himself by his role as a healer, and since he's terrified of Kraagor, he clings to Mijung.

    That's the sort of romance you want to begin slowly if you want to do it justice.
    True. I started off rather clumsily, I've got to admit. I've got to start putting more effort in these things.

    Thanks for answering the question. It really helps me out. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Oooohaloophole View Post
    1: Sorry just she is. And because the writing is good that doesnt seem half bad. Just dont make Xycon her love interest, thats what tzukiopioloi is for.
    2: No Infernal scions (Heroes of horror) are Children born in places (or in this situation the parent was infused heavily with infernal magic) of fiendish nature alows a infernal spirit to enter and posses the body.
    3: Its the combination of infernal magic/and sin that widens the size the spirit of a fiend can be.
    1: ...Wait, I'm confused. What do you mean by 'perversion of nature'?
    2: Would that really effect her, though? V had already lost the soul splices two and a half months prior to Tiasal's conception, and about a year before Tiasal's birth.
    3: Really? Huh, I should really brush up on this stuff. Where can I find the details?


    In total I only disliked only 1 part in the entire story, Roy and belkar leaning on a tree....I meen why dont you have Fullhouse music playing and have them fold thier arms as credits show underneath them. Its just Too sitcomy.
    In a way, that's the point. The flashbacks are meant to detail the fact that, yes, she did have a life that didn't revolve around her dead parents and, yes, she did have a family. Everyone who was a part of the Order--and a lot of people besides--constituted as family to her. So it's supposed to resemble some cutesy sitcom--she didn't live the life of an adventurer. She lived the life of an extremely sheltered kid.

    And can you detial how they lost to Tzuko cause my money is that that they all slipped and fell down a cliff in order to not be able to fight off Tzuko.
    I'm not sure if I made this clear enough, but Elan, Aarindarius, and Abram are the only people there at the time of Tsukiko's attack. Everyone else was on another journey to the Oracle to find out about the soul gems. Aarindarius is the highest level, but would have been alone in his tower, ready to be surprised and ambushed. Elan, while he's still a bit of a ditz and he's still the bard we love, is now a father who loves his son. Abram doesn't have any class levels, so his protection takes precedence. With the army of undead that Tsukiko undoubtedly toted along, they would be easy pickings.

    Of course, that's not necessarily how it went down. Tiasal doesn't know what happened so neither does the reader. That's just how it could have plausibly gone down.

    So remember what the Pcs can do, cause they can REALY easily learn the location of the Soul gems if thier level is at least 17 (And 4 years worth of fighting and study is totaly enough to gain at least 3 levels).
    Well, one, it's been fifteen years. But regardless of that, I don't think that they could find anything that an epic-level lich and high-level Theurge didn't want them to find without some serious help, even at their new levels. Xykon's always going to be more powerful than them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Would that be Auditory Processing Disorder or something that doesn't come up on the first page of Google?
    Yeah, that's me. Auditory Processing Disorder. It's hell to work with when the adults around you aren't patient.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...

    And that, my friends, is evolution in action! :D

    (And that is also why the Viagra instructions say to go to the doctor if it lasts for over four hours...)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyronea View Post
    Hmm...I think I'd like to see a cheerful family scene with Tiasel, Redcloak, and Vaarsuvius all together happy.
    ...And I realize with growing horror that I do not know how to do simple fluff.

    Um... any tips, guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    Here's my new picture -Haley x Duct Tape Thing from Water-Smurf's story
    That's so cool! I didn't think anyone was interested in drawing fight scenes!


    But anyway, I'm actually seriously concerned with the fact that I can't write out simple fluff well. I keep on slipping up and making it dark. Does anyone have any tips?

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  12. - Top - End - #492
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sstoopidtallkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    But anyway, I'm actually seriously concerned with the fact that I can't write out simple fluff well. I keep on slipping up and making it dark. Does anyone have any tips?
    Write when happy-drunk rather than either sober or depressed-drunk?

    I write for humor, not fluff, but I'd recommend taking any sequence that would end with someone sad and assuming the pair already worked it out. So if you're worried about the order accepting a reformed cleric, assume it already happened and move on. Or go for the first couple days in a relationship, before they notice the other's issues, and then ending before they realize that Romeo and Juliet had more of a future than them. This works really well from Elan's PoV.
    [/sarcasm]
    FAQ is not RAW!
    Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
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    I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.

  13. - Top - End - #493
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    Yiuel's Avatar

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    smile Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Speaking of epic destinies... (last spoilers box within the first spoilers box)
    I remember seeing it. Indeed, that would be Elan's epic fate. But would his daughter be as cloudcuckoolander as her father?
    Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!
    Spoiler
    Show
    The Order of the Stick Jr.
    Meet : Alexander, Joan, Ross, Leilandius, Hitomi, Ngoc and Arduvanius


    As interpreted (and drawn) by yours truly, Yiuel

    Yiuel LeMelvillois
    Only on blank paper do we write the best stories...

  14. - Top - End - #494
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Hey everyone, I'm still alive (Though the amount I drank on new year's eve ALMOST did me in). I recall saying that I was going to start a fic where a kiss from V changed the recipient's gender. The idea is way too funny for me NOT to try. So, hold on to your hats and get ready, cause this is:

    It All Started With A Kiss Title needs work...

    Chapter 1:

    Spoiler
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    Randel Silkspinner had seen a lot in his twenty years as a traveling merchant, but the sight that presented itself to him outside the city of Reddragonsville on this frosty autumn morning would, to utilize a rather over-spoken expression, 'take the cake'. Randel had been driving his wagon all night in order to make it inside the city by mid-day, and when he first saw the group of people on the side of the road he simply assumed he was hallucinating, because the situation was far too ridiculous to be real.

    His first reaction was, naturally, to blink sleepily and look away, before turning back under the assumption that the people would be gone, just like every other weird trick of the light his sleep-deprived brain had extrapolated into something odd. Surprisingly, the people didn't disappear.
    He gave his head a quick shake.

    Still there.

    He took a swig of water.

    Still there.

    He slapped himself across the cheeks.

    Still.

    There.

    At that moment, it finally occurred to Randel that maybe these people weren't just a figment of his imagination, and that somehow, a group of actual sentient beings had managed to find themselves in the predicament they were in. As the fact of the group's real-ness sunk in, Randel's jaw slowly dropped.

    There were six of them, by Randel's reckoning. Three humans (one female), one halfling, one dwarf, and one elf. The tall dark skinned human was arguing loudly with the dwarf, the woman, and the halfling, while the elf looked on in annoyance and the blond human played with a daisy off to the side. Shockingly - aside from the elf, who wore a rather travel stained red robe - all of them were completely naked. Furthermore, the two human men and the halfling seemed to be wearing a makeup, and not just a little of it. They had it smeared over their faces like pre-teen girls who had broken into their mother's cosmetics drawer. The dwarf's beard had a strap coming off of it that wrapped around its owner's head, and it took Randel a moment to process that the beard was actually a fake. A naked dwarf with a fake beard. Gods above, Randel wished he could make something like that up. On second thought, no he didn't.

    Finally, the dark skinned human was clutching what looked like the burnt remains of the head of a mop in one hand, and was punctuating his words by gesturing with the bit of crispy cloth. Randel shook his head, chuckling dryly. He considered himself a bit of a storyteller (though most people just called him a gossip), so he just had to find out how this situation had come about.

    "Ho there, adventurers!" He called warmly, which threw the group into a frenzy of panicked activity. Most of them tried to cover up their nudity. The dwarf turned away, the halfling covered himself with his hands, the woman hid behind the blond (who didn't seem to notice that he was naked), the elf rolled his (her?) eyes, and the dark skinned human simply turned to face Randel unashamedly.

    "Hi there." The apparent leader of the group said, his voice sounding both strained and wary.

    "Forgive me for my rudeness, but I can't help but notice you're in a bit of a situation there." Randel said, voice barely containing a chuckle.

    The dark skinned human glanced down rather pointedly. "Gee, you don't say." He grumbled. "Look buddy, I'm in kind of a bad mood, so if you're done gawking could you kindly shove off?"

    Randel threw up his hands in a calming gesture. "Hey there, take it easy. I'm the kind of guy who likes to help. It just so happens that I'm carrying a bunch of clothes to the market in Reddragonsville, and if you don't mind me saying, you folks seem to be sorely pressed for clothes." He watched in mild amusement as the faces of the entire group lit up. "One condition though." He added, raising an index finger.

    The dark skinned human frowned. "None of us are carrying any money, not even Vaarsuvius - that's our elven friend -"

    "I wouldn't describe our relationship as such!" The elf cut in.

    The dark skinned human winced. "Anyway, we're sort of strapped for cash, but if you need a favor some adventuring types could do, I'm sure we could work something out."

    "Oh, I don't need too much. I just want to hear the story of how you people ended up like this."

    Stunned silence greeted Randel. The group of naked adventurers looked uncomfortably at one another for several moment while the elf just glared frostily at Randel himself.

    "Guys?" The dark skinned human ventured.

    "If tha' be the price, I'm payin' it." The dwarf declared. "I'd give me last drop o' whiskey for a pair o' skivvies right aboot now."

    "We could just kill him and take his clothes. In fact, why haven't we done that yet?" The halfling hissed acidly.

    "Belkar, no." The leader rumbled. "No violence."

    "Well then we have to tell the story, don't we?!"

    "I don't want to relive this nightmare, but I can't just hide behind Elan forever." The woman said. She hugged the man, causing him to squeal girlishly.

    "Eep! Haley, your hands are cold!"

    The other human muttered something under his breath, shaking his head at the blond and the woman. "Well, Elan is always up for a story, so it looks like you win. Toss us some pants and let's begin this."

    Randel chuckled. "Mm, not yet, I'm thinking." He proceeded to fling a blanket at the group. "This is a sign of good faith. Now you all hop up on the wagon and tell me the story as we head in to town, and I'll get out some clothes for you as we go along."

    The halfling literally began to sputter in rage, and the rest of the group (aside from the blond, who was now picking apart his third daisy) glared darkly at the merchant, but they seemed to know as well as he that he had the upper hand.

    "Wait, can we even go back to town?" The woman asked. "Won't they still be looking for us?"

    "Well, yes, but not us us." The leader replied. "I think Belkar and I were girls when things went south, and you were a guy, and Durkon and Elan were... uhm..."

    "I was definitely a dude at that point! I plan to stab the elf once for each time he kissed me, so I know!" The halfling asserted.

    "Bah, you cannot count that high, cretin." The elf retorted. Then she (Randel was pretty sure it was a she) began to blush furiously. "I... that is not to say that we kissed many times, I merely meant to imply that the halfling is lacking in mathematical skills."

    "I can count a lot higher than you might think, ears." The halfling said with a fiendish grin. "Wanna know how many times you're getting stabbed?"

    The elf buried her head in her hands. "Out of morbid curiosity, are you including the times you specifically asked me to do it?"

    "Look, look, look." The leader hissed, trying to call the group to order. "The point is, I'm pretty sure we don't match the descriptions of the people that the guards will be looking for, so we should be able to get into town alright."

    After a bit more deliberation and whining, the group of six boarded the wagon, huddling together uncomfortably under the blanket.

    "Okay, so, I know you're not going to believe this." The leader began. "Heck, I was there and I'm not sure if I believe it, but, it all started with a kiss..."


    Okay, I think this will be immensely fun to write. Even I'm not sure how the order managed to get into a situation like that, but it should be fun trying to find out!

    Let me know what you all think.

  15. - Top - End - #495
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Haha, hilarious. I loved the beginning from the merchant's point of view.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  16. - Top - End - #496
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Fantastic start, Dark_Stryke. I'm looking forward to the next part.

    I'm off to bed, but before I go here's part four of my Miko/Therkla fic "Orphans":
    Spoiler
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    Miko met Shojo’s gaze, and found herself confounded at how full of life the eyes of a dead man could be. The blue light emitting him basked her face as he levitated in front of her, and for a moment she seemed to be looking heavenwards. She met several false starts in attempting to say something to the ghost. Finally, she found the words she had wanted and said, “I knew that, eventually, you would come for me, either to haunt me or to drag me to my punishment.”

    Shojo’s arms, which had been crossed over his chest, flopped to his sides. His head, and eyes, rolled back in irritation. “Miko…”

    “Either way, I’m prepared.” Miko continued; if she had heard her name, she didn’t acknowledge it. “I’ve been prepared all these months.”

    “Miko.”

    “I freely acknowledge my crimes. Upon my shoulders lies the blood of the people of my city and of its ruler, and-“

    “Miko, will you shut up?” Despite the casual tone, a sense of authority pervaded through the statement. “I’m not here to haunt you, and you’re not dead.”

    “Then why are you here?”

    “I told you already.” Miko watched as Shojo floated past her. “I’m here to talk.” Shojo turned back to face the woman, a glass of wine having appeared in his hand.

    Miko felt her limbs go stiff as she watched the wall behind Shojo shimmer like a mirage, a ripple running through it as it expanded, the brown wood turning a deep shade of blue. Miko looked slowly from one side to the other as the walls exploded outward. Candelabras flickered to life on the newly-christened walls of the room, a chandelier dropping from the ceiling and swinging violently before coming to settle. Bringing her gaze back around to Shojo, she saw he now sat in his throne, still cleft from where her sword had struck. The sapphire, too, was gone.

    “Take a seat.” Shojo said congenially, pointing towards the disheveled woman. Miko let out a small breath of surprise as she found herself lifted off the ground into a wooden chair. She gripped the armrests tightly as she looked back at the smiling ghost of her lord. She knew that if she kept allowing herself to degrade, she’d hit insanity. She had thought she’d welcome it. She thought that, when it came, she wouldn’t be aware she was even insane at all. But now, seeing that she’d have to live every single moment of it in perfect clarity, she was terrified. It was the second most horrifying moment in her entire life.

    Throat dry, she asked, “Can I…?”

    A glass of water was in her hand. She looked down and swirled the glass, watching the edges of the water and glass kiss. She could feel a small bead tip over the edge and run down her hand. It was real. This was happening.

    With a speed she thought she had lost, she raised the glass to the ceiling and then sent it crashing to the floor. The glass cracked to pieces like a meteorite dislodging earth, a pool of water forming at the center of the spot she hit. She found she was breathing heavily, panting, as she stared at the water.

    “Well, that’ll certainly teach me to offer you something to drink.” Shojo said, smacking his lips after taking a drain from his own glass.

    “You are not real.” Miko whirled to face the speaker, pointing towards him. “You’re a construct of my mind, here to torment me.”

    “Miko, if I was your imagination, I would have been here to torture you, and wouldn’t have denied it, would I?” Shojo looked lazily into his glass as he waited for the paladin’s reply. “Subtlety, whether from others or yourself, is lost on you.”

    “You torture me anyway.” Miko replied. But he was right. If he had been imaginary, he wouldn’t be quite so…cordial to her. Pausing, she asked, “It’s really you, then? I’m not crazy?”

    “Does it matter?” Shojo returned his gaze to her as he stood up in front of his throne. “As for being crazy, I hope not. I’ve already had to appear to one crazy person for Mr. Scruffy’s sake. I’d hate to be hitting 2-0 for appearing before the insane.”

    “What could you want to talk to me about?” Miko’s voice became quieter as she spoke, and she found it harder to direct her gaze at the man she had slain.

    “Personal matters.” Shojo took another sip. Miko noticed that no matter how much he drank, the wine never seemed to drain. “Specifically, your current state.”

    “Are you displeased?” Miko felt smaller each second under Shojo’s gaze. What a stupid question.

    “Of course I am.” Miko let out a sigh mixed with relief and fear; that was the answer she had been expecting. The next part, however, wasn’t. “You’re wasting your opportunity to redeem yourself.”

    “Why?” Miko’s voice was shrill as it rang throughout the room as she slammed a fist down on one of her armrests. She buried her face in the other hand. She could feel tears, hot and angry, gathering in her eyes and wanted to keep them from being seen.

    “You have a chance that very few are ever offered. To waste it would be stupid.”

    “The Twelve Gods themselves have abandoned me. There’s no power that could possibly redeem me.”

    Shaking his head, a small smile began to peak on Shojo’s lips. “That’s not true.” He seemed amused for reasons Miko couldn’t comprehend. “There are powers even the gods have to bow to.”

    “That’s blasphemy.” Miko replied, her voice a hiss. As they talked, she found the emotions she had been trying so hard to discard come bubbling forth, all directed at her deceased master. Fear. Sadness. Hatred. Admiration. Love.

    Miko shook slightly as she felt a hand cup under her chin and pulled her head up to look at her lord. “And you committed treason.” Miko could feel a tear roll down her cheek, struck not just by the man’s words but by the gentle tone of voice he said them with. She tried to struggle out a reply and found she couldn’t. She sat there looking at him, ashamed, as he wiped her tear away with a finger. “No one’s perfect.”

    “How can you say that?” her voice struggled to return to its stronger tone. She stood up to match her victim and found to her surprise she only came up to his waist. Her voice, too, had taken on a higher pitch, one she hadn’t for years. “Of all people, how can you forgive me?”

    “You can still be angry with someone, and want to forgive them.” Shojo got on a knee to readjust to Miko’s new stature. “Hell, you can be downright furious with them and the actions they take, and still care for them. That’s something you need to understand; emotions aren’t like alignments. You can’t divide and classify them in specific ways.” Shojo stood up again, patting Miko’s head softly as he did. He paused for a moment as he looked down at her before saying, “You have two choices. You either continue to condemn yourself and wait to die, or you can actually try to rebuild. Maybe this time, you could even reach a bit of the paragon you thought you were.”

    “How?” Miko’s voice cracked as she tried to return to stability.

    “Well, the fact that you feel guilt is a good sign, for one.” Shojo took her hand and led her towards a door that had manifested along with the new dimensions of the room. “Thing is, you have to learn to reconcile with your guilt. If you don’t, then you will eventually go crazy. If you don’t starve to death from your fasting or drop dead from exhaustion first, that is. How long have you been up this time, Miko?”

    “Six days, Lord Shojo.” The words seemed oddly natural coming from her now pre-pubescent voice. She came to doubt that she wasn’t mad already, and this was simply her conscious mind’s death throws. “But the dream Soon Kim sent me-“

    “Was intended to show you that you could change.” Shojo replied slowly as they reached the door. Placing his hand on it, he asked, “Did you really think Soon Kim, of all people, would send you a parable to tell you to kill yourself? The very nature of things can change, from good, to bad, to good again. But they cannot change alone.”

    Shojo pushed the door open, and Miko recoiled from the bright light coming from it. Cracking her eyes openly slowly to let them adjust, she peered through the door. Her nails bit into the palms of her hands. Through the door lay the entrance to the monastery she had grown up in. It had been tucked in the hills close to the city, and the forest that surrounded it looked as serene as she remembered it. Lord Shojo was no longer by her side, but sitting on a log near the entrance. Cautiously, Miko walked through the door.

    “I can remember the day I first saw you. Do you?”

    “Of course.” Miko replied, walking to stand beside Shojo. Pointing to the other side of the field, she said, “I had been going through my morning prayers when your carriage arrived. The monks had told us that your nephew was going to begin his religious training.” Many of the nobility had taken up the practice of leaving their children in the care of one of the monasteries for a few years to be given more training in their religion in culture. Many times, this was to make it easier for the child to join the Sapphire Guard. A house that found itself with a member of its household entering the ranks of the Guard tend to find its authority and prestige increased dramatically.

    Miko had already made up her mind as a child that she would become not only a member of the Guard, but its greatest member aside from Soon Kim himself. She had seen how weak, both in will and body, so many of the noble children who went through their training were, and that many of them were still able to enter the Guard. If those who were so poor in piety could attain a position, she had no doubt that she would as well. She knew it, in fact; the Gods had a plan in store for her.

    She believed that the Gods had a plan for her still, but it was far different than she had once thought.

    “Do you remember what I first said to you while you were praying?” Shojo inquired as he stood up.

    Miko paused for a moment. “You didn’t say anything, Lord Shojo.” She replied cautiously. “You and Hinjo went straight from the carriage to the entrance of the monastery, where the other children were playing.” She had never been invited to play with the other children, nor had she wanted to. She was content with living as the monks and nuns did, and built up a reputation among them by doing so. Miko almost pitied the other children for participating in such frivolities.

    “Are you certain?” There was that smile again. It seemed to come and go from Shojo’s expression like a ghost, to the point where you were uncertain it had been there at all.

    “Positive, Lord Shojo.” Miko replied. She wouldn’t be swayed. She’d come to learn there were several ideas she had held that had been proven wrong, but she wouldn’t believe that her own memory was faulty. That, at least, she knew she could trust.

    Shojo’s smile grew, the bottom room of his teeth showing. “I’m afraid, then, you aren’t going to like this.” He said to the girl. Raising his arm in a flourish, Shojo snapped his fingers.

    Miko felt like she was being punched by the creature that the bearer of the Crimson Mantle and the lich had been keeping all over again. She could see the past version of herself kneeling on the ground where she had specified, lost in prayer. She could see herself and yet couldn’t see anything, her eyes closed in prayer. She could keep up with her current thoughts, yet also found herself reciting her morning prayer at the same time. She could feel her legs were dry. She could feel her legs wet with dew on the grass. Miko fought the urge to scream as her current conscious state found itself entwined with that of her past self, experience the present at the same time she experienced the past.

    What is this? What’s happening to me?

    “You know, when most children are sad, they go to the park and play with friends.” She

    didn’t

    hear Shojo say. She could

    n’t

    see the ruler of Azure City, side by side with his young nephew, walking up the path to the monastery. “Or go to the zoo. Or eat themselves silly with sweets.” His voice trembled between humor and seriousness. “You? You want to go into religious training.”

    “I want to understand some things.” Hinjo responded. His voice, even at such a young age, exuded the charm he’d have in adulthood, as well as underpinnings of sheepishness.

    she couldn’t tell she was busy praying

    Hesitantly, he added, “And I want my parents to be proud of me.”

    “Your parents are proud of you.” Shojo implored. “If they were here with you, they’d want you to think about this more. To wait a few more years.

    I ask Dragon to give me strength and will power to go through the trials of my day she prayed And I ask Snake to give me wisdom and forethought in all my actions

    You have no clue how hard the life of a paladin is, Hinjo.” Shojo said sternly. The two had stopped walking towards the door, merely looking at one another.

    I’m still right he hasn’t talked to me yet. He lied to me in life, could he also not lie to me in death? The real question is the purpose of the lie.

    “Yeah, but the paladins are so cool.” Hinjo replied, his free hand outstretched and waving in the air. “I don’t think anyone can help people the way paladins can.”

    “Try being a politician.” Shojo murmured under his breath.

    and I ask Ram to show me the way to compassion the sun is warm and she thinks for a moment before praying And I thank all Twelve Gods for such a beautiful day it is the third time she has thanked them but she knows she can never give enough thanks

    The lord began to walk towards the entrance with his nephew again, resigned to letting the boy get his way. That was when he noticed Miko.

    He won’t say anything. I know my memories.

    Pointing towards the girl, Shojo said, “But look, Hinjo, at how harsh they can be! You have to pray

    I ask that Rabbit show me the way of elegance there was some weird buzzing sound near her and it was beginning to annoy her it must be a fly Twelve Gods I ask that if it be your will you make this fly go away

    Day in and day out!”

    “Uncle…” Hinjo chided. Sometimes, he wondered if his uncle had ever grown up.

    “Morning, noon, and night!” Shojo thumped his fist in an open palm. “Are you hungry? Pray first. Sleepy? Make sure to pray. Need to use the bathroom? You better believe you need to pray for that.”

    That’s talking about me, not to me.

    Hinjo crossed his arms along his chest, a skeptical stare fixed on his uncle. “Don’t believe me?” Shojo asked conspiratorially. “Watch. I’ll get evidence myself.”

    No you won’t you’ll head into the monastery.

    Shojo broke from his nephew as he walked towards the strange, mediating girl on the grass. “Hello, young lady.

    No…I…

    please give me patience Ox she frowned slightly as she prayed and I know you are busy O Gods but I ask that you possibly hurry in getting rid of these insects as they are distracting me from my prayers

    Tell me, how often do they have you pray?” After a moment of no response, Shojo turned back to his nephew. “You see, Hinjo? They’re forced to pray so much that they don’t even know what’s going on around them.”

    Hinjo looked ready to chide his uncle yet again. He never got the chance as the front door opened. Stepping out of the monastery was a lean man in his late 30s, his brown hair and beard trimmed neatly, and his priest robes billowed around him. Behind him followed two boys of Hinjo’s age. The first was stout with red-dyed hair; he walked exactly beside the priest. The other, a scrawny boy perhaps a little older and a bit taller than the other, followed a few purposeful steps behind. “Good morning, Lord Shojo.” The priest cried out in a strong baritone. “I’m glad to see you still in such good health.”

    “Good morning, Kitsawa!” Shojo called out to the priest, waving one arm in the air. “I didn’t know you had returned from trying to spread the word of the Gods.” He shook his head as he extended an arm towards Miko. “I was warning Hinjo about the dangers of becoming involved with religion, as has beset this poor girl.”

    I couldn’t even notice people around me.

    Monkey I ask that you might help me solve the problem of these insects around me you see I asked for less insects and it seems that You in all your wisdom have given me more I do not understand this but I will strive to

    What kind of person let’s the world pass them like that? Had I always been this self-centered?

    “Not a necessary warning, I assure you, Lord Shojo.” Kitsawa chided respectfully. “And I see you have met Miko.”

    Hinjo tilted his head quizzically as the red-haired boy and his companion approached him. “Hello.” The boy’s voice was soft, almost as if he were singing in a light tone, but it exuded self-confidence. “My name is Kenji Namuru.” Pointing behind him, he said, “And this is my cousin Shinio Iori.” The other boy, always remaining a few feet behind, bowed slightly.

    “Indeed, I have met Miko.” Shojo rested a hand on Miko’s shoulder.

    Oh look Twelve Gods one gentle rests on me if that is what it wants please make it go away soon

    Pick your head up. Stop praying for a moment and look to your side.

    “She’s fantastic conversation.”

    “Hello.” Hinjo said. He was quiet pleased to see his uncle was wrong and that there were lively children in the monastery as well. For a few brief moments, he entertained the idea that Shojo might have been right. “My name is-“

    “Perhaps not with you, but she is with the Gods.” Kitsawa replied. “The monks have taken to calling her “The Dragon’s Little Servant”. Urehana has even been instructing her in their combat style.”

    “You’re Hinjo, Lord Shojo’s nephew, yes?” Kenji interrupted, flashing a toothy smile. “Shinio and I are nobility as well.”

    “Indeed?” Shojo sounded impressed. Resting his chin in his palm, he asked, “Tell me, does she get along well with others?”

    “Oh?” Hinjo replied. Whether or not someone was royalty was a matter that Hinjo didn’t particularly care about.

    Dog remind me of what is right and wrong that I might not erupt into violence and slap these gnats away from me for they are here because you want them here O Gods

    Ox, if you still hear me, give ME patience to not go over and strangle myself.

    “It depends on who you want to classify as others.” Kitsawa replied. “She gets along fantastically with the monks and nuns. With the other children, however…”

    “Like should mix with like, should it not?” Kenji’s smile was soft, innocent. He put a hand on Hinjo’s shoulder. “No point in diluting by mixing with a different type.”

    Shojo simply looked at the girl for a moment. “Do you feel, Kitsawa, that she would make a good paladin?”

    I pray to you each and to you all O Gods to help me and rid me of these pests but to most of all rid me of my older self who constantly forgets who she is

    …You can hear what I’m thinking?

    Hinjo brushed the boy’s hand off of his shoulder, taking a step back from him. “I think you’re wrong.” Hinjo replied, assured but not stern. “There are things that can be made much better when you mix one with another.”

    Kitsawa sighed. “I feel that…given enough time, she could make a fine paladin. Maybe exemplar, even.”

    But you didn’t did you the little praying girl asked Miko while still praying Instead you killed your own lord and helped sacrifice the people of your city

    It…it was a mistake. I was wrong.

    Kenji simply stared at Hinjo for a moment, his smile slowly turning into a frown. “Well, have it your way.” Kenji replied as he turned and headed back towards the monastery. His cousin waited until he had passed him before following.

    It was not just a mistake the little girl replied angrily You broke your vows to protect your lord and were rejected yourself

    But…I can fix it. Lord Shojo has told me-

    Shojo’s smile creeped on to his lips yet again. “Very well. I believe that this night she shall come to my palace to begin training.”

    Lord Shojo is a liar and you know it he lied in life he lies in death he lies in bed he lies in ruin

    Stop it.

    The Gods favored a liar above you above me truly I am accursed by the Gods the only plan they had for me was to become a murderer and a coward and a fool

    Shut up.

    “Do you think she’s heard a single word we’ve said?” Shojo asked as he peered down at the girl.

    “Probably not.” Kitsawa replied, smiling slightly at Miko. “She’s lost in conversation with a higher power.”

    And you know and I know that when this is all over you will be cast down into the pits in with the demons and the murderers and the adulterers and

    “Shut up!” Miko cried out. Wrapping her arms around herself, she fell to her knees, body quivering violently. The world around her faded into nothingness; the monastery and the forest and the people melted into each other and swirled away, leaving a formless void behind. She whipped her head around as she felt Shojo’s hand rest on her shoulder. “Why did you show this to me?” Her voice broke as she spoke, and she found herself ashamed at her inability to keep her tears from flowing like two small streams. “To show me that I was always wrong? That my entire life was a waste?” She laughed bitterly. “What is there to even build back up?”

    “Your life wasn’t a waste, Miko.” Shojo answered, his voice soft. “You stumbled, but everyone does. I just need you to realize your main fault.”

    “What? That I’m delusional?”

    “No, that you’re self-centered.” Shojo’s voice slowly became stern; he wouldn’t allow the woman to find some way to get out of learning what she needed, not after all the effort and divine favor it took to create the image he just did. “You don’t pay attention to other people, and you never have. I noticed that immediately when I first found you.” Pausing, he finished, “That’s why I had wanted you in Sapphire Guard.”

    Her tears stopped as suddenly as if they’d been controlled by a faucet. Eyes narrowing, she replied astonished, “What?”

    “I could tell by the amount of effort you put into doing whatever you were set on doing, you were capable of great things.” Placing his hands under her arms, Shojo helped Miko to her feet, and she found she was her full height again. “But you can’t accomplish great things alone, Miko. At least, nothing of lasting worth. Every painter needs his muse . Every bard, his legendary hero to sing of. I’d hoped that by putting you in the Guard you’d be able to integrate with a group of people similar to yourself. That you’d come to accept others and reach your full potential.” Smiling sadly, Shojo finished, “I suppose, in the end, it just enabled that self-centered little girl to keep control, instead of letting you grow up.”

    Sniffling a bit as her breathing returned to normal, Miko looked to her lord, waiting for him to continue. Sighing, Shojo answered by saying, “You need to learn to empathize, Miko. To not push others away. It’s not starvation or exhaustion that’ll kill you if you keep going down this path; it’s loneliness.”

    “What do I do?” Miko asked. That she now realized she honestly had no clue how to communicate with others struck her hard. “How do I start?”

    “Try listening for once, to begin with.” Shojo smiled to try and keep her from becoming too upset at his words. “Don’t immediately assume everyone is lying to you, either. Actual give them a chance for once. Once you actually understand others, you’ll be able to reconcile yourself with your guilt. That’s when you’ll finally be able to find forgiveness.”

    “I’ll try.” Miko replied weakly. Taking deep breath, she said, “Thank you, Lord Shojo. For speaking with me.”

    Shojo simply gave her one of his impenetrable little smiles, his form starting to fade into the void. “Before I go, I must admit: I do have a slight feeling of schadenfreude for when you finally go to trial. The nobles had a pool going on how I was going to die. In the off chance one of them didn’t guess correctly, they decided they’d give the money away to the people as a joke.” He suppressed a small chuckle as he finished. “Guess what circumstance none of them picked.”

    He was gone as suddenly as he came. The void boomeranged back into Miko’s cabin room, and Miko felt herself fall to the floor in a sitting position beside her tree. She looked wildly from side to side to make sure she was really back in her room. Was it a dream? She shuddered. She could still feel the clashing sensations that surrounded her.

    She stood up quickly to turn to face the cabin door as it opened, and nearly lost her balance. While she had been with Shojo, her lack of sleep and hunger hadn’t bothered her. Now it struck her with full force. Clutching her forehead for a minute, she steadied her gaze at the door.

    It was Therkla, a plate of food in her hands. “Are you alright?” Therkla asked, concern edging into her voice. She hadn’t meant to startle the paladin, and was somewhat surprised something had even been able to get as lively a reaction from her as she had.

    “Y-yes.” Miko stammered slightly. She found herself fighting embarrassment as well as the demands of her body. She turned away from the ninja, hunching her shoulders as if trying to hide herself. Even after how she had treated her, the half-orc had returned.

    “Oh, alright.” Therkla answered. She stood in the doorway for a moment longer before entering, kicking the door closed as she did. “I thought that maybe you’d like someone to have breakfast with you.”

    “That would be nice.” Miko answered. She cursed herself for not knowing what tone to use, not knowing how to interact with the other woman.

    A silence fell over the room as the samurai and the ninja stood across from one another. Finally, both broke the silence with a conjoined, “Listen, I-“ before going silent again.

    It was Therkla who broke the silence next. “Look, I’m sorry how I reacted.” She said, fidgeting with her chopsticks. “It’s been awhile since I’ve done the whole expressing myself to another thing. Really, it’s only been recently that I’ve seen that side of me come back up.” When you were a ninja in a noble’s employ, you didn’t have the time to worry about connecting with others. Sighing, she continued, “I…we’re probably going to be in this room together for awhile. I just want us to be able to get along.” Suddenly, she blurted out, “I want to help you.” She cringed; that was too much.

    “I thank you.” Miko replied as she turned her head to face her. Therkla let out a small, shivering sigh of relief; something had happened to the paladin in the short time she’d been gone to, if not put her in a better mood, make her more responsive. “And I…apologize for my behavior. I’ve never understood how to be with others, I suppose.” She cast her gaze to the floor. “I’d believed that, whatever it was that needed to be done, I could do it myself.”

    “Yeah. It’s not a fun realization, figuring out what you believe is wrong.” Therkla replied. She frowned as she saw that Miko’s own plate had yet to be touched. “You need to eat.” She implored as she loaded food on to her own set of chopsticks.

    “I...in a bit, perhaps.” Miko kept her gaze stuck to the floorboards. She’d have to eat eventually; if her lord had taken the time to appear before her, she was obligated to make it so that the trip hadn’t been in vain. Yet, she still couldn’t convince herself that she was worthy of eating again yet, of having any of her needs cared for. Bringing her gaze up to meet the half-orcs, she continued, “I’m just not-“

    Her eyes widened as Therkla thrust her chopsticks into her open mouth half statement, cutting her off. “Sneak attack.” Therkla said, her tone playful. With equal speed she retracted the now empty chopsticks from Miko’s mouth.

    For a brief moment Miko struggled to spit the food out on the floor, but it was too late. Having been deprived for so long, she impulsively began to chew it. Each burst of flavor was almost painful, and her body quivered at finally getting to eat again. She closed her eyes, chewing the food into a fine mash before swallowing. Her stomach growled as the food hit it, her hunger fully awakened. Therkla held her plate out to her.

    “Take it.” Therkla said.

    “I can’t.” Miko replied, fighting the urge to grab the plate immediately.

    “Take it.” Therkla implored. She fought off desperation in her voice; she had hoped the paladin wouldn’t fight her as hard on eating after she forced the first bite. “I can get more.”

    Hands quivering, Miko took the plate from her roommate, a small thank you escaping her lips. Sitting on the floor, Miko attacked the plate with a new found fury, making short work of it before moving on to her own.

    A small current passed through Therkla’s back, like a light electric shock. It wasn’t an uncomfortable sensation; in fact, it was rather pleasant. She smiled down at the ravenous woman, and even simply seeing the result of her deed brought another jolt of pleasure down her spine.

    Squatting beside the paladin, Therkla said in a soft voice. “I know you may not believe it, but I can understand where you’re coming from. I was orphaned too.”

    She stopped to look over at Miko; the paladin had slowed her eating, casting a sideways glance at the half-orc. “My dad had run a tavern, which, as it turns out, is one of the most dangerous jobs a NPC can have. When I was about thirteen, he got killed in a brawl between a group of adventurers. Disintegrated, to be specific.” She paused for a minute before continuing. “We didn’t have the money to raise him and my mother was…unaccustomed to living in the city alone.” Therkla found herself uncomfortable talking about her mother; best to move on before saying too much. “Since my mom couldn’t hold a job, I took to stealing. Eventually, I got so good in the slums, I became famous. That’s how I met Lord Kubota.” Taking a breath, Therkla finished, “He offered not only to put me through Ninja School, but to take me on as one of his assistants. With the money I made while going through school, I was able to provide for my mother. I thought I’d get the chance to raise dad after I began working with Kubota.” She smiled sadly as she looked at the ground. “My mom died a week after my graduation. I didn’t see the point in raising dad anymore. I thought it would just be better to leave he and mom be.”

    “After that, I guess I started to look to Kubota as a surrogate father.” She didn’t like this subject either; she had thought at one point that she had found someone who understood her in her employer. A small smile rose to her lips as she turned to Miko and said, “We must be the two unluckiest girls in the world, to have gotten orphaned twice.”


    Her smile faded as she saw the paladin put her plate on the floor and grasp her mouth. Therkla’s worry turned to alarm as Miko began to make a small, strangling noise behind her hand. She had upset her. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried, she and the paladin were just going to go upsetting one another. Reaching out a hand to put on her shoulder, Therkla asked cautiously, “Are…are you okay?”

    Therkla’s hand jerked back as Miko’s head shot up, mouth no longer muffled. Loud peals of laughter echoed through the room. Not the fake laughter Therkla had been accustomed to hearing from the paladin; genuine, pure laughter. And infectious as well, Therkla’s own laughter joining with Miko’s. Low at first, but quickly rising to the pitch of the paladin’s.

    Body wracked with laughter, Miko leaned against Therkla’s shoulder, trying to calm herself down. She couldn’t place exactly why it was so funny, but that word…it was perfect. All these months she had been looking for a way to describe her situation, and couldn’t think of even a single word to do so. Now here it was, given to her utterly out of the blue.

    Unlucky. She was unlucky.

    The food began to sit heavily on her stomach, satiating her hunger. The feeling of contentment, however, aroused her exhaustion, and Miko found herself fighting to keep her eyes open. Laying her head against Therkla’s shoulder, she muttered out, “I think…think I’ll talk with Hinjo later. About atoning.”

    Therkla’s ears pricked up at the paladin’s statement. “What was that?” She asked, trying to keep from sounding too eager. She was doing it; she was actually succeeding on getting Miko back on track.

    “Atone.” Miko murmured. She could feel the comforting darkness of sleep starting to engulf her. “Become a paladin again.” She sighed the last words before closing her eyes. Sleep overtook her at once, pleasant and dreamless.

    Therkla simply sat there a moment, pleased. After all the years of backstabbing and assassination and secrecy, it felt good to interact with others again. She said a small thank you to Elan; even if the bard didn’t return her love for her, he had awakened a part that she had thought long dead.

    Picking the paladin up from the floor, she was alarmed by just how light Miko was. Carefully, she took the woman over to her bed and laid her down, wiping a few strands of Miko’s hair away from her face.

    Therkla simply watched the woman sleep for a while, smiling, before leaving the cabin to get her own breakfast.


    This part turned out a lot longer than I intended, partially due to foreshadowing for later, but also because I began to have a lot of fun and got carried away with it near the midpoint.

    Anyhow, comments/criticism is always welcome.

    Edit: Wow, it is...seriously long. Still, I hope someone enjoys it.

    Edit2: Inconsistency with Therkla's canon backstory fixed. Thank you to CoffeeIncluded for pointing out this mistake.
    Last edited by Nathander; 2010-01-08 at 09:55 PM.
    Assistant Executioneer of the Fanclub

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  17. - Top - End - #497
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    CapedLuigiYoshi's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Well, I figured the only way to get this fic out would be to split it into multiple parts.. So, without delay, here's the first part of Lien x Lien!

    Spoiler
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    Lien sighed. Today was another boring day on guard duty. Standing around the castle, nothing special. The paladin looked out to the ocean longingly. It was a deep blue, a lot like her hair color…

    Today is gonna be a long day, she thought.

    Standing around, pacing at times, trying to think of other things to pass the time. Lord Shojo had asked for Sangwaan at one point – saying Mr. Scruffy wanted some answers for something or other – but otherwise, no excitement.

    Suddenly, a bright light flashed out of nowhere. When Lien opened her eyes again, she saw a portal hovering vertically a few inches off the ground. The portal was about a foot and a half taller than her and looked generally like what the Rift had been described as looking like, only a dark shade of green. Muffled sound could be heard from the other side, and soon a figure emerged.

    The person – well, he looked like a human draped in shadow. He was somewhat average in height, and wore a dark green shirt with violet overalls. His dark brown hair was difficult to see under his hat, which looked like a baseball cap with a shorter, thicker, and less-stiff-looking brim, and was dark green with the exception of a white circle on the front. Upon the circle was an “L” which leaned somewhat towards the left.

    However, more interesting to Lien than the man was the person he was carrying in his arms. The unconscious figure appeared to be none other than… herself?!

    The shadowed person, once fully out of the portal, bent down and laid the unconscious Lien at the other Lien’s feet. As he was getting up, he uttered, “About time we started this…”

    “Just who are you?!” spouted the first Lien, pointing her spear at the shadower.

    “Erm, I’m just a random stranger passing through,” responded the character, with only a hint of nervousness. “What’s more important is that I’ve done what I need here.”

    “What- what the heck are you doing?” asked Lien, eyeing the stranger suspiciously.

    “Going by what the dice rolled,” replied the man. “Whatever, I’m done now. Byez!” With that, he stepped back into the portal, which disappeared with another flash once he was inside.

    “…What the heck just-“ started the first Lien, but she was interrupted by murmurs from the unconscious Lien. The first Lien knelt down to lift the other, and hoisted her up on her shoulder. Suddenly, the unconscious Lien’s eyes opened slowly.

    “Wh- wha-”

    Suddenly, as the second Lien realized just who she was looking at, she quickly sprang awake and stumbled back a bit.

    “Wha- What the heck is this?!”

    ---------------

    “You know, Shadow, you’re really a jerk.”

    “Hey, I didn’t want her to be unconscious. Ghost Guy just got carried away.”

    “You still went along with it!”

    “What else was I gonna do?”

    “And why do you keep trapping me as a girl?! It’s not funny!”

    “Ooh, listen to poor widdle Cady, getting all upset-”

    “Stop calling me that!”

    “Whateverz.”


    In other news, I also completed that avatar for "On Fire!" Week, but likely no one cares.

    And with that, I need to get the heck to bed, as it's 2:00 AM over here. Night. *logs off*
    Last edited by CapedLuigiYoshi; 2010-01-03 at 04:51 AM.
    Pseudo-Luigi of the Solt Lorkyurg Fanclub.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgeo View Post
    So Vaarsuvius is an Epic Whatsit now. "Whatsit". I think I like that term.

  18. - Top - End - #498
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    And that, my friends, is evolution in action! :D

    (And that is also why the Viagra instructions say to go to the doctor if it lasts for over four hours...)
    And the doctor will slit the member open and pour out the blood inside, and rinse it with isotonic solution. If you are nice, he will apply local anaesthetic first.

    Doesn't chugging an entire bottle of Viagra seem like something Belkar would do if he had trouble with... that?
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Nathander View Post
    I'm off to bed, but before I go here's part four of my Miko/Therkla fic "Orphans":
    I just read the first three chapters on fanfiction.net, and this. I must say I'm impressed, especially by the... I'll call it a hallucination for lack of a better understanding on my part... sequence. I'll admit, though, that I wisfully wished Miko failed to escape her downwards spiral towards oblivion because it would be so much more tragic...

    One note about the version on ff.net though; you left the forum italics tags in the third chapter instead of using the site's italics.

    Quote Originally Posted by CapedLuigiYoshi View Post
    Well, I figured the only way to get this fic out would be to split it into multiple parts.. So, without delay, here's the first part of Lien x Lien!
    Interesting start.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

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    smile Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Actually there are no 100% rules on infernal scions. In heroes of horror all it took for a demonic influence was living in a barn that 30 years ago was an altar to an evil god. Yep it’s THAT easy. So I thought that being shackled with infernal magic from the 3 most powerful of fiendish creatures should do the trick. Infernal magic is powered by sinful acts and damnation and I think killing all those dragons would suffice. As in aberration of nature it would more likely to attract creatures from the far realm. Breaking naturally set laws like Goblins/Elves=ERROR into Goblins/Elves=Love allows a creature from a place with NO laws to escape into the real world.
    Remember this is a joke, but it would be fun to introduce the Devil trio later.
    "All your daughter are now belong to us"

    By Tsukio I meant the fact that although evil, knows when to cut the line and stop, she is not THAT sadistic.
    Spoiler
    Show

    "Xycon that’s enough, I want the bitch dead as much as you do but I mean the chil-»
    What are you implying?
    "Uuum nothing"
    "No, come on tell me"
    "Nothing Xycon I said nothing"
    "Well then let me tell you something. Not long time ago (Meteor swarm) I realized that I don’t like you (Meteor swarm)." Xycon was slowly inching his way toward Tzuko while fighting off the enraged adventurers.
    "Your persona is demeaning, your dress code is fine for a while but really is beginning to grind on my bones, plus your a Undeadopheliac which bothers me every time I look at you (Mass hold person)." the Adventurers stopped in their tracks. Xycon did a quick lunge at Tzokiu who was slowly retreating towards a wall.

    "The only thing I need you for are your levels, but for a while I couldn’t find an undead creature of both divine and arcane magic. But then I though, Hey am I a wizard or something?" He took another lung at Tzuko only this time his hand wrapped around her neck in a choke hold.
    "I take risks and don’t worry about it if something goes wrong". With theses words Xycon pulled Tzuko off the floor. So I thought maybe Ill be a pioneer in this situation. His grip on her neck tightened. Tzokos breathing came in short bursts of air. He brought his face closer to her. "And I thought you wouldn’t probably mind, right? You sure do LOVE undead creatures, don’t you?" His other hand was charging with necrotic energy. "You wouldn’t mind becoming one with what you love?" "What cat got your tongue? Alright I all help you get your voice back" He stuck his hand inside her throat.
    "Cr majr wund"
    "AAAAAAAH! Why you bitch! Maximized meteor storm!"
    Xs appeared on her eyes along with a hole through her head.

    Believe it or not but this is the SHORTENED version of what I wrote. I realized that most of my written gore was piontless

    Well also can somebody propose some good fanfics.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    For the Roy/Harley fic, I was thinking something along the lines of:

    Roy gets put in batman world via magic.
    Joker, did something to make Harley run away.
    Harley sees Roy, and tries to have sex with him, so Joker will get back with her.
    Back to the rest of the party:
    Belkar sees this as an opportune time to kill the rest of the party, V has guarded her tent, and thus Belkar kills Durkon while he is sleeping, then V inflicts horrible torture on Belkar. (This is mainly because Cracklord made me hate loath want to turn Belkar into something that has no shred of intelligence or humanity.)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    But anyway, I'm actually seriously concerned with the fact that I can't write out simple fluff well. I keep on slipping up and making it dark. Does anyone have any tips?
    ... I don't remember how...
    Damn it!
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Crilly View Post
    (This is mainly because Cracklord made me hate loath want to turn Belkar into something that has no shred of intelligence or humanity.)
    Haha, he's contagious, isn't he?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Haha, he's contagious, isn't he?
    Yeah. I just realized, I could do this to Belkar by the time I'm level 10! Charm Person, Polymorph, and Feebleminded. If I wanted it permanent, I'd need to be epic level though. (Or use Polymorph Any Object very smartly.)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    ...And I realize with growing horror that I do not know how to do simple fluff.

    Um... any tips, guys?
    Practice, practice. But don't beat yourself over the head if you discover you can't - there's a reason most authors stay within a single genre.
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Ah, well, you see.

    1. I'm a bit on the short side; only 5'2.
    For some reason, this combined with intelligence and hyper-activity makes me think of a squirrel on caffeine.

    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Nice stories everyone.

    Just one thing: Therkla DID know her parents. At least for a little while.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    And the doctor will slit the member open and pour out the blood inside, and rinse it with isotonic solution. If you are nice, he will apply local anaesthetic first.

    Doesn't chugging an entire bottle of Viagra seem like something Belkar would do if he had trouble with... that?
    Yes. Yes it does.

    Also, this makes me glad I'm a girl.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    For some reason, this combined with intelligence and hyper-activity makes me think of a squirrel on caffeine.

    Why do you think my username's CoffeeIncluded?
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-03 at 07:43 AM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Nathander -that story was absolutelly amazing! In my opinion it can be compared to Water-Smurf best stories. I really like happy stories so I hope they will have their happy ending .

    Dark_Stryke's story was great too, i hope we'll see how did it happened soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    That's so cool! I didn't think anyone was interested in drawing fight scenes!
    I really liked this scene, and one with Aarindarius detecting magic too (although I had no idea how to draw it).

  29. - Top - End - #509
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    Griffon

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Wow, a lot of good stuff went up while I was off.

    Bad stuff too, sorry Coffee

    Remember Asta Kask that the older sibling isn't always in charge. My younger sister for instance is much more physically powerful than me (Strength is my dump stat). I do agree with your and Zanaril's assesment of why we love V though. I must add that V's desire to become a better person (and difficulty in doing so) is actually making V even more endearing though (at least to me).

    I must say that I can't wait to find out the rest of Dark_Stryke's latest fic.

    I also like Yiuel's Oots jr. pic. (I can see it, yay!) though I think it likely that Roy's first child will rebel and become a wizard with a high strength.

    My latest roll is proving...difficult, but I'll try and get it up soon.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

    Errr...talking about disturbing pairings.

    This/Spike


    Uh...

    Why do i always find the weirdest things when looking through Fanfiction.Net?
    Last edited by Closak; 2010-01-03 at 09:22 AM.

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