Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

[ShinyDelusion]

Sadly, I don't think it is.

Darn. Should I go ahead and take it down, then?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Darn. Should I go ahead and take it down, then?

Probably be best. The Giant doesn't like people editing his work, so better safe than sorry.

Umm, no thanks. I've seen what your "special" drinks do. I've had to cure WaterSmurf three times already after she had your drinks.

I don't know what to think... that it's weird that we have Zanaril drugging people with Love Potions or that, given everything we've done in our threads, nobody's ever acted on them.

[ShinyDelusion]

Safe it is, then. At least it will always be on my computer.

[Saeyan]

This bears crossquoting, because it fills my cracky little heart with an inexplicable amount of glee.

And now that I've read that thread, I feel like attempting to draw a big relationship diagram for our thread. There'd have to be a cut-off point somewhere, I guess. Alternatively I could do it up on one of those collaborative-mindmapping sites.

Since poor ThorPersonGuy had to ask twice, here's the attempt of someone who can't draw, but can happily spend unhealthy chunks of time amateurly editing a digital image to tide him over while the real artists work on something better:

Spoiler

Show

Featuring panels from 440 and 457, if that's allowed...

LBD on androgynous stick figure body is a little weird for me. But Tsukiko looks pretty cute, heh.

Reward: 2 Internets, 5 cookies.

I hope you told the replicator to synthesize two batches of that.

Also I just spent 2 hours on TV Tropes. Gah!

[Aaron]

What, that you're required to have a gun up there?

Nah, just a Boy scout pocketknife. We've got plenty of Police officers up here.

And hey, maybe he could be you. Doubt it though. But there's one surefire way to find out:

What did you do this summer?

Probably not. I don't know anyone from NY.

This summer we got our house renovated (finally). I got a job to work on the Boy Scout Camp staff for about a month.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nah, just a Boy scout pocketknife. We've got plenty of Police officers up here.



Probably not. I don't know anyone from NY.

This summer we got our house renovated (finally). I got a job to work on the Boy Scout Camp staff for about a month.

Ah, nevermind.

[doliest]

....I spend a few hours playing Ninja Gaiden II and you people walk in on ABD? WHEN DID YOU WALK INTO MY IMAGINATION!? Oh wait the lack of elves means that this was likely Closak's brain....or maybe all of our brains. I'll know that if I walk in on XykonXV and a Santa outfit is involved.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'll know that if I walk in on XykonXV and a Santa outfit is involved.

I just got a horrifying image involving that and demon reindeer roaches.

...I need sleep.

[doliest]

I just got a horrifying image involving that and demon reindeer roaches.

...I need sleep.

No sleep will cure you; You're a freak, like MEEEEEE!

[Sstoopidtallkid]

And now that I've read that thread, I feel like attempting to draw a big relationship diagram for our thread. There'd have to be a cut-off point somewhere, I guess. Alternatively I could do it up on one of those collaborative-mindmapping sites.

The problem I see is adding stuff like V/V and trying to figure out whether a specific hobgoblin is a part of the 'entire hobgoblin army/demonic roaches'.

[Shnezz]

"Thog + (Gender-switched Xykon)
High heels and black leather"

What the generator gave me...

Dear... God... Brainbleach, stat!

Edit: My second try wasn't much better...

"Haley + Haley's Dad
Love potion"

[Sstoopidtallkid]

"Thog + (Gender-switched Xykon)
High heels and black leather"

What the generator gave me...

Dear... God... Brainbleach, stat!

Hey, he needs to put that 28 Cha to use, and conquering the world isn't cheap.

[Conuly]

"Haley + Haley's Dad
Love potion"

That would... conveniently explain why Haley's Dad is so reluctant to allow her to ever be honest with anybody in the outside world ever.

[Zanaril]

The problem I see is adding stuff like V/V

Just loop the line back around and label it 'twincest'

[Asta Kask]

I don't know what to think... that it's weird that we have Zanaril drugging people with Love Potions or that, given everything we've done in our threads, nobody's ever acted on them.

How do you know what people do in front of their computers? Webcams can be turned off, you know...

[Zanaril]

How do you know what people do in front of their computers? Webcams can be turned off, you know...

<_<

>_>

*hides beginnings of self-insert fic involving elves*


...wait, that is what you meant, isn't it?

[Monzach]

Happy solstice night everyone.

May the stars be right for all of you in the coming year.

Iä Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat with a thousand Young!

[CoffeeIncluded]

And my mom woke me up by calling me a moron, tearing all the stuff out of my closet, and telling me to get out of her face because I misplaced my boots.

Isn't my family just great?

[Zanaril]

And my mom woke me up by calling me a moron, tearing all the stuff out of my closet, and telling me to get out of her face because I misplaced my boots.

Isn't my family just great?

*gives CoffeeIncluded a friendly hug*

*offers CoffeeIncluded a mug of hot chocolate*
Here, this'll make you feel better. Don't worry, the only thing it's spiked with is happiness. And brandy.

And now that I've read that thread, I feel like attempting to draw a big relationship diagram for our thread. There'd have to be a cut-off point somewhere, I guess. Alternatively I could do it up on one of those collaborative-mindmapping sites.

Hmm... I might give this a go if I can work out way of doing it without overcomplicating things.

Maybe if we have a big image with all the characters names spaced out, then each author/artist picks a colour and draws a line connecting characters they've shipped?

Also I just spent 2 hours on TV Tropes. Gah!

Two hours well spent. (Unless they would have otherwise been spent drawing?)

[silversaraph]

And my mom woke me up by calling me a moron, tearing all the stuff out of my closet, and telling me to get out of her face because I misplaced my boots.

Isn't my family just great?

If I had heard that without knowing about that person and their family, (which I don't, really) I would have labeled that abuse without a second though. There is no reason whatsoever for a mother to act like that.

I'd give you a hug but I'm currently typing with my feet just to see if I can, and editing with my hands.

Unedited text: ctraqck paifgfionms tyuhrweaffd./ (crack pairings thread).

*Gives imaginary hug*

[CoffeeIncluded]

Thanks guys. Odds are that she'll apologize when she comes home from work though. That's what always happens.

[The Dark Fiddler]

The twelve days of *insertgenericholidayhere* by Killscreen.

Young Haley/Hanukkah Gelt by CoffeeIncluded

The Sexiest X-mas ever by The Odor

VXDarius [Part One] [Part Two] by doliest

Vaarsuvius x Inkyrius Arcane Power by Discord

Nale x Inkyrius snowed in by BatRobin

A Winter's Tale [Part one] [Part Two] by Taekwondodo

V and A Christmas by Saeyan

Depressing Christmas Memories by half-halfling

Fabricate Plushie by CoffeeIncluded

Have You Been Nice? by half-halfling


Aside from my crappy naming of the new ones, this seems to be the final list for the contest. If I've missed any or added any you don't want in, please tell me!

[doliest]

I am in comp0olete agreement wtith the list.

HAH! I typed that with my FEET!
.
.
.
Wow, I'm pathetic.
Wow, Coffee, that's...that's some home life you got there.

[Thor Person Guy]

In my boredom, I have sought wisdom from the wisest mind on this thread: The coded roller! Here are the crackiest of its proclamations!

Spoiler

Show

Roy's sword + (Gender-switched (Dorukan + Thog))
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)

Elan + The Hydra
American high school setting

Celia + Celia
Unrequited love + Love/hate relationship

Elan + (Gender-switched (The orc chieftain + YokYok))
True love

(Haley's Dad + Thanh) + (Gender-switched (Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might + Inkyrius))
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)

(Gender-switched (Argent + Therkla)) + Lord Kubota
Stuck on a desert island

@Coffee: Awww... *hugs*

[Lawyergoblin]

Here I go agian. Part two. With a Spoiler!
(Plus, I had to change two things from the comic. Can you guess which ones?)

Spoiler

Show

Pain. Redcloak felt pain. That and much emotion. Words burled inside his head like a swarm of anger. Fear. Doubt. Failure. Anger, anger more than anything else. Ghosts swirled around him shouting, yelling, telling him what a bad job he had done.

Redcloak curled into a tighter bundle on the dirty mat. All he could do was stammer over and over again. “I tried. I tried. Revered Master, Unholy Dark one, I TRIED!”

He felt more pain. He had forgotten all that had happened sense that red-headed human shot him with the arrow. He briefly remembered his soldiers getting killed, and Xykon leaving him behind, leaving with some other human. He remembered being bound, and thrown in this cell. Then he remembered the most recent memory. Getting angry, at some…some paladin. A mob, he remembered that. Stones, anger, more pain. He heard the door open but felt no reaction.

He heard a voice. Someone was talking to him. He had to pull it together.

Grunting under the pain Redcloak sat up. Blinking his eyes, the cell slowly came into focus.

Celia was standing in front of him. Celia? Celia! All his thoughts forgotten Redcloak Leapt to his feet.

“Celia? I thought you died in the explosion of the dungeon! I-”

Celia put a hand over his mouth. She spoke softly.

“Those days are over Redcloak. Gone and done.”

Redcloak lightly pushed the hand from his face. He spoke tenderly.

“I know. I’m just glad to see you. Why are you here?”

“I’m going to be your attorney.”

Redcloak’s eyes widened slightly, but he forced them level. He swallowed.

“My…attorney?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Redcloak showed no more emotion, his brain now working on a way to win the case, as now he actually had a chance. He knew the Azurite laws, probably better than most of the what would be the jury members, but the paladins? They would be a problem. Celia stared at his face, she knew his different expressions, and could tell he was deep in thought.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Maybe…”

Redcloak left it at that. Celia knew him better than to question him when he was in this faze, and before she left the room she called back.

“I will be reading the Azurite law books, if you have something to tell me just ask the guards. They will fetch me.”

Still in thought, and trying hard to keep the demons that haunted him away by thinking hard, Redcloak simply waved her out.

“Alright. I will call if I need you.”

Redcloak sat down again on the mat, letting his green skin touch the cool stone. He had no ideas. Nothing. He held his head in his hands, sighing slightly as he tried to focus on the situation involving his case. He spoke softly to himself, throwing possible explanations back and forth in his sub-conscious.

“Plead guilty for reduced sentence? Wouldn’t work , I’d still get death sentence. Paladins are uptight, I might be able to insult one enough it would kill me, and their idiotic code of honor would force them to resurrect me, but no, I would still die and I don’t want that.”

Before he could start again he heard a voice from the cell over.

“Hey, Goblin. You trying to bust out or something?”

Redcloak turned to see a Halfling behind the bars. Redcloak stared quizzically, first wondering why a Halfling would be in jail, and then if he had seen the same one before.

“Do I know you?”

“Probably, me and my dorks of an adventuring party stormed Xykon’s dungeon last year.”

“Hmm. I see. Oh, and yes, I am trying to get out.”

“And Celia is our attorney?”

“Yes, why?”


The Halfling sat backing his sell. His face turned from curious to annoyed pout.
“Goddamnit! She’s acting for some weird goblin’s case but not mine? Great, just great.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in her room Celia thought over her books. She also pulled apart the last case she was in. The Order’s case involved the weakening of the fabric of the universe, maybe she could find something there? She opened her notes from that case and began flipping through them. She was about to put the thin pad away when something caught her eye. It was a piece of blue paper, with some scribbled writing on it. Absent-mindedly she pulled it out, and read what was written on it;

Angel summoned for final verdict turned out to be Roy’s father.

Then it hit her. She had a way out.

I know writing isn't very good, nor is it very long, but I worked hard on it and I hope you like it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nice work guys.

Just as I thought. Mom apologized and I'm sipping hot chocolate with whipped cream up in my room right now.

*Sigh* Physics test tomorrow. I'm gonna die.

In other news, my foot won't stop bleeding. (Hey, maybe someone can use that as a line of inspiration!)

[Aaron]

*Sigh* Physics test tomorrow. I'm gonna die.

No you won't. You'll just be suffering a mental induced coma for the next two weeks.

...that really didn't help, did it?

[doliest]

*Sigh* Physics test tomorrow. I'm gonna die.

Don't worry, a bad test that tanks your grade can be made up. I bombed a Trig test and I spent several roundsdays being worried about it, but then I realized I have atleast one more test and it's far enough away that I can study for it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

No you won't. You'll just be suffering a mental induced coma for the next two weeks.

...that really didn't help, did it?

No it did not.

And I already tanked one several.

[doliest]

What kind of grade do you have in the different marking periods?