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  1. - Top - End - #691
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    That last one is blank, right? I'm not going insaner?

    They'll be up in a minute or two.
    It's probably so we can design our own.

  2. - Top - End - #692
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    Zanaril's fic has been so win that I have found myself doodling V and Z at random. Here is the result of me actually having a camera on hand to capture one of them.

    Spoiler
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    I hope I got the androgyny down. I was intending for Zz'dtri to look male, but it somehow got borked and he looks like an anorexic little she-drow now. Whoops.

    So thank you, Zanaril, for making me go 'aww' over two characters that I had never imagined together. Please, can we have some more?
    Wow, I love the drawing. Maybe I should try drawing them...

    And I'm glad you're enjoying the fic. Don't worry, there will be more (eventually).

    Quote Originally Posted by MReav View Post
    It's probably so we can design our own.
    You got it!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  3. - Top - End - #693
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    Sequinox's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    You guys just made my week.


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    Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.

    Court sorcerer of House Kato.

    Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub

    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.

    Magioth made my avatar!

    The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!

    Sequinox

    And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.


  4. - Top - End - #694
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Sequinox's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I still don't get why you guys need brain bleach.

    Guess it comes with not being me. *shrugs*
    I've found a brother.

    (Ignore my real brother, please.)


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    Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.

    Court sorcerer of House Kato.

    Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub

    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.

    Magioth made my avatar!

    The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!

    Sequinox

    And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.


  5. - Top - End - #695
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I also have a suggestion: everyone who has written something go and put it on Fanfiction.net; the OOTS section is looking a bit sparse.
    It's also somewhere to put anything that's unsutable for these boards, since the ratings on there go one step higher than PG-13.
    I will do once my two day "just signed up" waiting period is over.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  6. - Top - End - #696
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    DurkonxLien
    Here we go again. Fluff.
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    Dusk came quickly this late in the season, but Lien was long abed.

    She was lucky to have her own room. Most of the crew didn't. Or even the nobles. Last time she checked, even Hinjo was bunking with the captain and first mate, though as his quarters had facilities for twelve concubines, private bathing, storage and it’s own kitchen this probably wasn't such a sacrifice.

    But Lien had put her foot down, and so had wound up with a ten foot by ten foot room in the back. It was austere, which was a polite way of saying I was empty except for her spear, a trunk containing a few changes of clothes and a bed, but at least she had some privacy when she wanted it.

    She slept in a bed. She was used to sleeping in a hammock, even on dry land, but he hated the swaying feeling, and it wasn’t fair to keep locking Elan out of his own room, so she’d pulled in a feather bed, and assembled it in her room, as the frame was too big to get through the door.

    It was comfortable, and she was slowly warming to it, but it still felt odd, and she had difficulty knowing exactly where to position herself. Everything she tried felt awkward. At the moment she was lying on her side legs curled together and her hand on his chest. It was deceptively wide, and not structured like a human one, the muscles fitting together differently. It was also covered in thick brown hair that tickled silkily when she touched him.

    He was already asleep, she noted enviously, eyes closed as though he hadn’t a care in the world, his left arm holding her close. He never had any trouble sleeping.

    She had begun to feel an ache between her legs as the afterglow faded, that was only just disappearing now. It was a good ache, she could feel his seed in her. For a moment she worried what would happen if it quickened there, but then she looked at his face, weathered and craggy, hardened over the years but surprisingly gentle and tender in repose, and she felt her worry seep away.

    He was here, and he loved her, and with him by her side, she knew they could get through anything.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  7. - Top - End - #697
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    The penultimate paragraph kinda creeped me out, but it's as good as usual.

    ...Twelve concubines, you say?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  8. - Top - End - #698
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    The penultimate paragraph kinda creeped me out, but it's as good as usual.

    ...Twelve concubines, you say?
    Long story.
    I rolled Lord Shojo with an interesting... range of twelve other characters (including Lien), most of who were female. I'm not willing to write it, but I will damn well reference it.

    And the last line was intentionally bad, as people were saying they no longer need brain bleach.

    Someone has to maintain low standards!
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  9. - Top - End - #699
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Hijax's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    The Oracle X The Really Dangerous Trap.
    ****.
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    the oracle was strolling down the dungeon corridor, thrwoing a few stones at the wall, which ended up chain reacting and killing all goblins that might have atttacked him. Until, finally, he reached his goal. a lonely door, filling the already narrow corridor up completely. He stepped a few steps back, picked up his scrolls of antilife shell, Ironguard, and resist poison, muttering:
    "Its tedious to do this every time, but you're worth it all..."
    Last edited by Hijax; 2009-08-19 at 01:14 PM.
    The only difference between science and fiction is, that fiction has to make sense.

    Blog, twitter


  10. - Top - End - #700
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Nice!
    Good work using that, didn't think anyone ever would.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  11. - Top - End - #701
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    xelliea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    VxRedcloak
    If anyone wants to do this it's all yours, if not i will do it when i have spare time. (I have mates over that want to play halo3.)

    "Looks to see if any friends are watching"
    Last edited by xelliea; 2009-08-19 at 04:23 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #702
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by xelliea View Post
    VxRedcloak
    If anyone wants to do this it's all yours, if not i will do it when i have spare time. (I have mates over that want to play halo3.)
    I might snag that. I'll try to make a quick one before school starts--I need practice on my romance/relationship writing.


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    Nothing is ever inhuman for, no matter how heinous the crime, one can always find a human willing to commit it. ~Unknown


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    I'm a Neutral Good Human Druid (1st Level)

    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 12
    Dexterity- 13
    Constitution- 13
    Intelligence- 14
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

    Look here to see what D&D character you are!

  13. - Top - End - #703
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    xelliea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zen_Heart View Post
    I might snag that. I'll try to make a quick one before school starts--I need practice on my romance/relationship writing.
    Great, gotta go now, this thread is too NSFW to read at the office!
    Last edited by xelliea; 2009-08-20 at 05:21 AM.

  14. - Top - End - #704
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    Narr Storm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post














    Look at all those cracktastic banners...
    you make really cool order of the stick pics, the xykon ones is my fave!

    why is V (looks like V's robe) grayish in one of them, (no spoilers please, im on strip 236)
    Last edited by Narr Storm; 2009-08-20 at 11:05 AM.

  15. - Top - End - #705
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    That's because V's a zombie in this picture. We're sick, sick people who love to torture their favorite characters for our own amusement. So we had Xykon kill V and reanimate him, just for kicks.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  16. - Top - End - #706
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Sequinox's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Okay, I got TherklaxOracle, and I tried writing it, but I couldn't conclude it. It went on with a long dialogue, but I couldn't pull it together into a crack fic. I'm not really cut out for disturbing stuff, I guess.

    (Oh, and Bibliophile: I started writing when I was your age. Don't stop, and if you're still writing three years later, you'll see HUGE improvements. I'm speaking from experience...)


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    Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.

    Court sorcerer of House Kato.

    Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub

    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.

    Magioth made my avatar!

    The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!

    Sequinox

    And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.


  17. - Top - End - #707
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    That's because V's a zombie in this picture. We're sick, sick people who love to torture their favorite characters for our own amusement. So we had Xykon kill V and reanimate him, just for kicks.
    And so emotionally rewarding...
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  18. - Top - End - #708

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Narr Storm View Post
    you make really cool order of the stick pics, the xykon ones is my fave!

    why is V (looks like V's robe) grayish in one of them, (no spoilers please, im on strip 236)
    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here, but if you're trying to avoid spoilers, you might want to avoid the forum for a bit. Most threads assume you've read all the online comics.

    Luckily, most print-exclusive information is spoiler'd.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  19. - Top - End - #709
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    As this appears to be slowing, might I suggest competitions? i.e, Dark Fiddler can suggest a pairing, and we all write it, then the winner suggests the next one, and so on.
    For instance, a competition could be:
    Half-orc/Dying in your arms challenge.
    Write about two pairings of your choice, but must include the characters Bozzok, Thog and Therkla, set during the third book. Content must be at least four hundred words, and must contain character death of at least two major characters. Winner will be chosen by the issuer of challenge, or by popular vote, and gets to decide the next challenge.

    By the way, I seem to be having trouble coming up with Durkon and Lien stuff, as they don't seem to have much in the way of interaction, although here is one more...
    Fluff. I'll write something more intimate tomorrow.

    Spoiler
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    "If you try to get on board this ship, I will gut you like a fish." She said steadily, holding the spear loosely in her hands, constantly adjusting her grip and weaving it's point in a figure-of-eight.

    The orange-skinned bastards were holding back wearily, trying to gauge her skill, but she could see them finding their courage. It wouldn't be long now before they charged. Well so be it. Let them come.

    With guttural roars that blended together to form a single sharp sound that grated on her nerves, they sprinted forward, waving their heavy broadswords above their head, notched and rusted, and covered in a thin patina of filth.

    Taking a moment to sneer at them for holding their shields at their sides where they wouldn't do any good, and their swords above their heads where they were even less use she pushed firmly of her back foot and brought the spear through the first ones larynx, then with a twist drove it through the back of his neck and into the one behind him.

    She felt their hot breath on her hands and face, and watched the light leave their eyes as they slumped, their life blood spurting through the gash she'd made and running down the haft and over her hands. Perhaps she'd even be sympathetic if she hadn't watched some of the more aggressive ones killing defenseless prisoners a while away. She'd waned to do something, anything, but there were a few hundred hobgoblins between them, and she was skilled, but not that skilled.

    As they fell, one of them dropped of the boardwalk, tangling her spear. She clutched it desperately, but the two bodies weighed far to much and their blood made her hands slippery.

    The one behind them cocked his head cockily and strutted forward, making no attempt to defend himself. She supposed he didn't see there as much point. Desperately she raised her hands, not sure exactly what she was planning to do, when a rich deep voice smote the air like thunder.

    "Thar's Lightnin'!" It roared, and there was a bright flash of light that left spots dancing before her eyes as she desperately blinked, trying to clear them.

    She made out a shinning blur before her, then shook her head, realizing who it was, and feeling her heart flutter.

    She staggered clumsily, and realized offhandedly that a bit of the lightning had burned her thigh. She knew it hurt, but in the same way she knew that the Underdark was there. You'd be mad to try and deny it, but it didn't affect her very much.

    "Joost relax, lass. Ah'll heal ye." He said kindly, his rough hands oddly gentle, and she felt a feeling of bliss as the positive energy flowed into her.

    Se wanted to embrace him, and kiss him, and tell him how worried she'd been, but she didn't. He was private and reserved, and there was no time. so instead she smiled warmly and followed him onto the ship.

    "Are ye alright, lass?" He asked once they had retrieved her spear and were safely on board.

    She smiled warmly. "I am now."


    Oh, and Dark Fiddler? Could you please add on the front page a disclaimer explaining that if you post it you are contractually obliged to write it?
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-08-20 at 09:27 PM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  20. - Top - End - #710
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Errr... Ahhh... Uhm...

  21. - Top - End - #711
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by AdamG View Post
    Errr... Ahhh... Uhm...
    What? Don't you like our art?
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  22. - Top - End - #712
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    wow. this must be one of the freakiest crack pairing. i triple dog darew anyone to make this work! ok i used a random number generator on the internet and i used two tables. the heavyweight table, and the first erfworld table. ok the pairing is this. Xykon's zombie dragon head X Jack Snape, gender-flipped. anyone who can make this work, can post a big-ass trophy on this thread, that they may design themselves. so basicly, i am not going to do a dang thing, while you deal with the most messed up pairing that i have read into this thread so far. Have Fun!

  23. - Top - End - #713
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I have done one involving a massive orgy between Edward Cullen, Harry Potter, Xykon, the Cliffport chief of Police, Wiston Churchill, Tsukiko, Raistlin, Hinjo, Stanley the Tool, Lien and a few other characters. And I made it semi-plausible. What your talking about isn't even worth mentioning.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  24. - Top - End - #714
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    eek Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    WOW! as it turns out, random number geneators are much better than dice when it comes to making pairing that make no ****ing sense! i will now list them. this list may induce nausia, vomiting, or excessive melting of the brain. prepare for the weirdest matches you've ever seen.
    1-Teevo and Dora (from erfworld) in american high school
    2-Spongebob and Julio Scoundrel with a Love Potion
    3-Lord Shojo and that guy with the halberd met by adultery
    4-Bandit King and Belkar, very,very, VERY drunk
    5-TWO Prince Ansoms (from Erfworld) in an american high school
    6-Shadowdancer and the Soul Splices in the Afterlife
    7-Sizemore (from erfworld) and the IFCC with a love potion
    8-Dwagons (from erfworld) and the snarl in an american high school
    9-Inkyrius and Belkar with a pregnancy
    Seriously, is there anyone on the planet who will take the challenge of these bases into a fanfic, will get 18 cookies. i'm waiting for new sickining material here. i still cant believe the scary things that crawl into your minds while you sleep. bye

  25. - Top - End - #715
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    furious Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    I have done one involving a massive orgy between Edward Cullen, Harry Potter, Xykon, the Cliffport chief of Police, Wiston Churchill, Tsukiko, Raistlin, Hinjo, Stanley the Tool, Lien and a few other characters. And I made it semi-plausible. What your talking about isn't even worth mentioning.
    ok frankly, i only said 'as far as i read' so i probably didnt get as far as you mentally scarring brain melting stary yet! so shut up! i read many of your stories though. i believe that my brain literally ran out of my head and left to pursue another purpose. your stories were that messed up.but mine is a challenge because it cant make sense at all that i can find. how can a zombified dragon head have sex? dwell on that and give me an answer.

  26. - Top - End - #716

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    how can a zombified dragon head have sex? dwell on that and give me an answer.
    I was worried about saying it, thinking it might break the rules, but then I remembered that V said something similar.

    Oral.

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    As this appears to be slowing, might I suggest competitions? i.e, Dark Fiddler can suggest a pairing, and we all write it, then the winner suggests the next one, and so on.
    For instance, a competition could be:
    Half-orc/Dying in your arms challenge.
    Write about two pairings of your choice, but must include the characters Bozzok, Thog and Therkla, set during the third book. Content must be at least four hundred words, and must contain character death of at least two major characters. Winner will be chosen by the issuer of challenge, or by popular vote, and gets to decide the next challenge.


    Oh, and Dark Fiddler? Could you please add on the front page a disclaimer explaining that if you post it you are contractually obliged to write it?
    These are both good ideas, I think I actually will do this. I will think of a contest.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  27. - Top - End - #717
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    ok frankly, i only said 'as far as i read' so i probably didnt get as far as you mentally scarring brain melting stary yet! so shut up! i read many of your stories though. i believe that my brain literally ran out of my head and left to pursue another purpose. your stories were that messed up.but mine is a challenge because it cant make sense at all that i can find. how can a zombified dragon head have sex? dwell on that and give me an answer.
    Well, it's got very sharp teeth, so the enjoyment of such... action might be less then enjoyable, but it's easy to see how it's possible.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  28. - Top - End - #718
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    ! i read many of your stories though. i believe that my brain literally ran out of my head and left to pursue another purpose. your stories were that messed up.
    Hey, I might sig this...
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  29. - Top - End - #719
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    You all are absolutely insane. And I like it. Enough so that I'll actually make an account and stop lurking, at any rate.

    I think I'm going to pick a crack pairing and try to make it work. Assuming Zen doesn't mind, I'll take V/Redcloak too--it's a pairing I think I might actually be able to put in character.

  30. - Top - End - #720
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    Narr Storm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    I'll take V/Redcloak too--it's a pairing I think I might actually be able to put in character.
    That sounds like it will be cool!
    Last edited by Narr Storm; 2009-08-21 at 12:04 PM.

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