Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Lix Lorn]

Right there UNDER your avatar? Literally. (Smirk)

That's one complex pairing. O_o

[Debatra]

She. It's right there under my avatar...

It's what I got on the roller. Without brackets:
The Hydra + Gs Monster in the Dark + Gs Haley's Dad + Gs Lord Kubota + Gs Roy's sword + Gs Haley + Gs The Cliffport chief of police + Gs The Eye of Fear and Flame
In any combination that you want!

She. Sorry. Anyway, what were the parentheses for?

[Taekwondodo]

Question: dose the story NEED to be easter-themed? or can it be compleatly unrelaited? if not, can i just throw in a chocolate bunny somewere and get away with it?

They do say

So to get the ball rolling April's Squickie competition is for a Crack Pairing with an "Easter" theme to it. This could be anything from Haley and Durkon getting it on in bunny outfits or the Eye of Fear and Flame cozying up to a chocolate egg - be creative!

Your innuendo makes no sense Lix...

It's how it comes up on the roller coded by...someone. It's in my sig (click roll).

[Lix Lorn]

It makes perfect sense! The easiest way to find out someone's gender is under them. XD

[Taekwondodo]

It makes perfect sense! The easiest way to find out someone's gender is under them. XD

Ha ha ha...No. /deadpan

[Zanaril]

He's going to be fireball'd, isn't he?

As long as V isn't in a bad mood, I think revenge will be more subtle.

And Lay on Hands is pretty limited...

That joke needs to be made, too.

He probably wouldn't bring that up, but he'd think it. He's a paladin with an iron-clad code of honor--he got her pregnant, so regardless of how little she wants his help, he is going to give it to her.

Might he hint at it while trying to pursuade V to let him help her?

Would Vaarsuvius draw the comparison on her own?

Talk it over with the deity he's been worshiping and dedicating his life too since birth? I'm not sure if he really has the spine for that. Beg, maybe? Give his reasons then wince and wait for the Dark One's decision? I can see him doing that.

"Don't screw this up. No pressure, though."? While they may not be on conversation level, I think that the Dark One is willing to try and communicate with his followers.

So Reddy might try asking very nicely.

That gives him a neat little legal excuse to not investigate Belkar's alignment further.

Belkar better not do anything Evil while Soon is watching, though. Apart from the Paladin powers issue, Soon is hardly going to sit back and watch if Belkar starts killing innocent people left and right.

I like Zanaril's Squicky.

This was awesome, and totally squicky . I think Zanaril set the level of this competition very high.

Now that is squicky! (I'm still unaffected though. )

Thanks!

I look forward to seeing easter themed squickies from all of you.

...does it show the level of my squick save that I thought it was cute and didn't even think of it as squicky? XD

If anything it's more icky than squicky.


Now, I feel like going on a roller binge.

Spoiler

Show

Vaarsuvius + (Gender-switched Belkar)

Horace Greenhilt + Vaarsuvius

Dorukan + Sarah Greenhilt

Roy's sword + Inkyrius

The chimera + Haley

Julia Greenhilt + Lien

(Gender-switched Zz'Dtri) + Miko

(Gender-switched (Gender-switched Lord Shojo)) + Therkla

Xykon's zombie dragon head + Vaarsuvius

Roy's Archon + Thog

Tsukiko + Celia

The chimera + Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might

Belkar + Xykon

Haley + Bone golem Roy

O-Chul + Mr Scruffy

Belkar + The Eye of Fear and Flame

Dorukan + Xykon

Dorukan + Inkyrius

Daigo + (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Vaarsuvius))

Redcloak + Zz'Dtri

Hinjo + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Ancient Black Dragon + Dorukan

Vaarsuvius + Leeky Windstaff

Miko + Roy's sword (...)

Horace Greenhilt + Julia Greenhilt

Xykon + (Gender-switched Roy's sword)

Vaarsuvius + Thog

The Snarl + Crystal

The Snarl + Vaarsuvius

Ancient Black Dragon + (Inkyrius + Mr. Rodriguez + (Celia + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron))

Elan + Roy

O-Chul + Roy

The Snarl + The oracle

Belkar + Mr Scruffy

Redcloak + Nale

The IFCC + Mr Scruffy

Haley + Celia

Elan + Haley's Dad

Gender-switched (Nale + Vaarsuvius)) + ((Gender-switched Haley) + Thanh + Julia Greenhilt)

[Taekwondodo]

This is Taekwondodo's entry for the April Squickie Award.

Spoiler

Show

“Wake up, Haley!”

Elan was shaking her awake, an excited grin on his face. She sat up, rubbing sleepily at her eyes.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“Nothing’s wrong! It’s Easter! We have to go and see if the Easter Bunny has been, hiding her chocolate eggs for good boys and girls to find!” He clapped his hands together excitedly and danced around the tent for a bit before returning to her side. “C’mon get up, get up! Get dressed! Let’s go!”

Haley blinked for a moment as what he had said sunk in, then placed her hands on his shoulders (finding that he was practically vibrating with excitement) and after a few false starts tried to curb his wild hopes.

“You think... But your parents...You never said...Elan, sweetie, we’re in the middle of the desert do you really think the Easter Bunny would hide eggs here for us? Do you not think it would be too hot for her? Or that the eggs would melt? How would she know to hide them here anyway?”

“It’s OK, Haley. She’s like Santa, she always knows where the good girls and boys are to give them eggs.” He stopped, looking crestfallen. “Do you not think I've been good enough this year?”

Realising her mistake she hastily tried to reassure him. “Of course you were good this year. I'm just wondering about the logistics of hiding eggs in a desert.”

He looked at her as if she had grown a third eye. “She’s magic. Come on!”

A little while later, with Haley finally dressed, they left the tent and Elan started to search around the tents. Soon there was a cry of success from behind Roy’s tent. Elan sprinted towards Haley, sand flying everywhere, holding something aloft in his hands.

“Look Haley! An egg! I told you she would know where I was!”

Haley shrugged. Seriously, who knew in this world.

“Congratulations Elan, well done!”

Unbeknownst to them they were being watched from the shadows. The dwarf may sleep around, but he knew his heart would belong to only one, even if they would never be together. He would do what he could to make sure his love was happy.

“Shadow Jump.”

A quick attempt. Not squicky but you can't have everything! Also, guess the pairing.

[The Succubus]

Stretch those little grey cells a little - I'm not saying it has to be solid Easter but the judges would like to see an Easter theme to it.

Huh - message above disappeared ^^

[Lix Lorn]

I thought it worked. (Sad)
Also Icky proof. XD

[Zanaril]

Also, guess the pairing.

Durkon/Elan?

[Debatra]

4) Two judges have been confirmed so far and hopefully we'll find a third soon.

Still looking for a third judge?

[Taekwondodo]

Durkon/Elan?

Nope! (well half the pairing but that bit's easy)

[Zanaril]

Nope! (well half the pairing but that bit's easy)

*rereads*

Shadowjumper guy/Elan.

[Taekwondodo]

*rereads*

Shadowjumper guy/Elan.

Yup! *gives Zanaril cookie*

[Closak]

Ancient Black Dragon + Dorukan

*Drools*

Goddammit, i just cleaned!

Ancient Black Dragon + (Inkyrius + Mr. Rodriguez + (Celia + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron))

...[BRAINGASM]

[Water-Smurf]

Nowhere did I imply that it would be a healthy debate between equals.

True.

Just making sure. Unfortunately for me, I'm only just starting the reading of your V/Reddy fics.(I haven't even finished In the Arms of Morpheus yet). I don't yet fully understand everything in it's proper context.

...Or is this entire conversation hypothetical, and I'm just showing my inexperience?

I have a lot of hypothetical conversations. You'll have to read and see if this is one of them.

I hope you enjoy. :D

As long as V isn't in a bad mood, I think revenge will be more subtle.

She's presumably pregnant at this point. She's going to be in a perpetual bad mood.

That joke needs to be made, too.

Soon: Would you like me to Lay on Hands?
: ...
Soon: ...The spell.
: Oh, right. Of course.

Might he hint at it while trying to pursuade V to let him help her?

Would Vaarsuvius draw the comparison on her own?

I think that V is more likely to reference it than he is, and even then, not much. There're some things you don't touch, and I doubt that anyone but Miko, the kids themselves, or Inkyrius would feel that it was their place to comment or judge Vaarsuvius's parenting technique.

"Don't screw this up. No pressure, though."? While they may not be on conversation level, I think that the Dark One is willing to try and communicate with his followers.

So Reddy might try asking very nicely.

Yeah, something like that. Something really, really respectful, but still, a request that he knows the Dark One would be a little reluctant about. Maybe if he promised that Vaarsuvius and their child would never be more important to him than the Plan?

Belkar better not do anything Evil while Soon is watching, though. Apart from the Paladin powers issue, Soon is hardly going to sit back and watch if Belkar starts killing innocent people left and right.

If Roy's around, he can keep Belkar on a leash. If Belkar's going through his 'faking character growth' thing, then he's probably going to be a lot more subtle than usual.

Spoiler

Show

Vaarsuvius + (Gender-switched Belkar)

Horace Greenhilt + Vaarsuvius

Dorukan + Sarah Greenhilt

Roy's sword + Inkyrius

The chimera + Haley

Julia Greenhilt + Lien

(Gender-switched Zz'Dtri) + Miko

(Gender-switched (Gender-switched Lord Shojo)) + Therkla

Xykon's zombie dragon head + Vaarsuvius

Roy's Archon + Thog

Tsukiko + Celia

The chimera + Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might

Belkar + Xykon

Haley + Bone golem Roy

O-Chul + Mr Scruffy

Belkar + The Eye of Fear and Flame

Dorukan + Xykon

Dorukan + Inkyrius

Daigo + (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Vaarsuvius))

Redcloak + Zz'Dtri

Hinjo + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Ancient Black Dragon + Dorukan

Vaarsuvius + Leeky Windstaff

Miko + Roy's sword (...)

Horace Greenhilt + Julia Greenhilt

Xykon + (Gender-switched Roy's sword)

Vaarsuvius + Thog

The Snarl + Crystal

The Snarl + Vaarsuvius

Ancient Black Dragon + (Inkyrius + Mr. Rodriguez + (Celia + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron))

Elan + Roy

O-Chul + Roy

The Snarl + The oracle

Belkar + Mr Scruffy

Redcloak + Nale

The IFCC + Mr Scruffy

Haley + Celia

Elan + Haley's Dad

Gender-switched (Nale + Vaarsuvius)) + ((Gender-switched Haley) + Thanh + Julia Greenhilt)

Hmm. Didn't find anything that tickled my fancy that time.

[Lix Lorn]

Dodo, I love that ship. It's SO sweet. (Dies from sugar overdose)
(Shakespearianly)

Well, Reddy could point out that if V has a half goblin child, she'll be much more disposed to fight for goblin rights. XD A powerful elven wizard is a useful ally, no?

[Zanaril]

Soon: Would you like me to Lay on Hands?
: ...
Soon: ...The spell.
: Oh, right. Of course.

I can't help but read V's last line as being slightly disappointed.

I think that V is more likely to reference it than he is, and even then, not much.

Maybe she would cite bad parenting skills (and lack of commitment) when arguing against starting a family and a long term relationship?

There're some things you don't touch, and I doubt that anyone but Miko, the kids themselves, or Inkyrius would feel that it was their place to comment or judge Vaarsuvius's parenting technique.

...Miko?

If Roy's around, he can keep Belkar on a leash. If Belkar's going through his 'faking character growth' thing, then he's probably going to be a lot more subtle than usual.

How long do you think Belkar could fool Soon for? At what point would he realise that Belkar's evil?

Hmm. Didn't find anything that tickled my fancy that time.

Sometimes the roller has good days, sometimes bad days.

[Draconi Redfir]

and she could always act as an ambassitor to the Elvin pepole, see if they can get those elvin insergents out of there.

[Debatra]

Spoiler

Show

O-Chul + The IFCC

(Gender-switched The chimera) + (Lord Kubota + (Gender-switched Shadowdancer))

Windstriker + The chimera

Lord Shojo + All of the Demon Roaches at once

Miko + Miko

Haley's Dad + Lord Shojo

Crystal + Haley

Gender-switched Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Gender-switched Vaarsuvius

(Tsukiko + (Yor + YokYok) + (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Crystal))) + Roy's Archon

Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Any takers?

[Zanaril]

Gender-switched Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Gender-switched Vaarsuvius

I just want to know how that happened!

[Debatra]

...Miko?

I'm not sure if even Miko is that much "holier than thou".

Sometimes the roller has good days, sometimes bad days.

Yep. I just got Miko + Miko.

I just want to know how that happened!

Gotta love the roller. Although, I'm tempted to change that to Darth V.

[Lix Lorn]

MikoMiko is the only way she's ever getting treasure type O.
(Oh snap)

[Zanaril]

MikoMiko is the only way she's ever getting treasure type O.
(Oh snap)

...I don't understand.

[Lix Lorn]

(pleaseNote: If not for the rules of posting, my response would explain to her EXACTLY what I mean, with no regard for tact, politeness, or anythign else. Thank you.)

(Smirk)
In conclusion, MikoMiko. Or MikoMe, cause she's hot..

[Draconi Redfir]

2nd question: anyone know if the word for "son without a father" is allowed by the forum rules? i cant remember if its a curse word or not.

[Zanaril]

(pleaseNote: If not for the rules of posting, my response would explain to her EXACTLY what I mean, with no regard for tact, politeness, or anythign else. Thank you.)

It would be amusing if Roy's Treasure Type O joke had actually gone completely over her head.

(Smirk)
In conclusion, MikoMiko. Or MikoMe, cause she's hot..

Miko? No thanks. I'm allergic to both Lawful and stupid.

Then again, maybe it depends what she looks like non-OOTS style.

2nd question: anyone know if the word for "son without a father" is allowed by the forum rules? i cant remember if its a curse word or not.

It's not censored. Make of that what you will.

[Debatra]

(pleaseNote: If not for the rules of posting, my response would explain to her EXACTLY what I mean, with no regard for tact, politeness, or anythign else. Thank you.)

(Smirk)
In conclusion, MikoMiko. Or MikoMe, cause she's hot..

Here's how it works, Blue Bitch...

*much later*

[Zanaril]

Here's how it works, Blue Bitch...

*much later*

Or

Maybe.. a practical demonstration is needed?

[Water-Smurf]

Well, Reddy could point out that if V has a half goblin child, she'll be much more disposed to fight for goblin rights. XD A powerful elven wizard is a useful ally, no?

The Dark One probably views elves to be a morally corrupt race, same as humans.

I can't help but read V's last line as being slightly disappointed.

Don't worry. I'm sure Soon will be sure to Lay on Hands after he's done with the healing.

Maybe she would cite bad parenting skills (and lack of commitment) when arguing against starting a family and a long term relationship?

Then Soon would cite the fact that, unless she was able to miscarry or abort without dying, they're going to be starting a family regardless.

I'm really not sure what they'd do with the little baby. What if Soon's return to life was temporary? Or what if V died during childbirth again and was soul bound?

Wow, actually, what if she died and was soul bound? How would Soon react? I mean, the woman he (presumably) loved is gone again, trapped, and he has this little gurgling bundle of responsibility to look after.

...Miko?

I figured that she was self-righteous enough to assume it was her place to judge everyone.

How long do you think Belkar could fool Soon for? At what point would he realise that Belkar's evil?

I think that Belkar's oh-so-charming personality and attitude would clue Soon in early on, but I think that Soon would hold off on Detecting Evil just so he had plausible deniability and he'd keep an eye on him to make sure no innocents were being ruthlessly murdered.

and she could always act as an ambassitor to the Elvin pepole, see if they can get those elvin insergents out of there.

V doesn't have the Charisma score to convince shopkeepers to raise their price. You really think that she'd work well as an ambassador?

I'm not sure if even Miko is that much "holier than thou".

You underestimate Miko.

2nd question: anyone know if the word for "son without a father" is allowed by the forum rules? i cant remember if its a curse word or not.

It's not censored, so I assume you're allowed to use it, but only sparingly and never towards another poster.