LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

[supernerd]

First off, *hugs*.

Second, you're Demisexual - 'technically straight' or not, you're definitely LGBT+. It's pretty messed-up that that survey overlooked you (and Nope for that matter, but at least he isn't European).



Clearly, we need to make asterisk-shaped LED's. What do you mean, "eye strain"?



*Hugs* I can understand how frustrating that is for both of you. :/

~Bianca

Now your post is finished. Your specialness should not be forgotten, just like I put a personal line in my signature about a week after joining. For relevance. You are special, and B(P)/T

[Arachu]

~Bianca

Now your post is finished. Your specialness should not be forgotten, just like I put a personal line in my signature about a week after joining. For relevance. You are special, and B(P)/T

I... Thanks. I didn't realize I'd forgotten it.

(I edited it in now that you mentioned it. *hugs*)

~Bianca

[CWater]

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

[golentan]

*snip*
>:|

Edit: Well I guess I shouldn't feel too bad because I don't even live in the EU.

Are they excluding bi people as well? Because if they exclude bi people who are primarily hetero in deed, that would be...

[Mina Kobold]

Oh, wow. I did not enjoy that survey at all. :(!
Emotional rant ahead: (spoilered due to content related to sexual assault and difficult stuff)

Spoiler

Show

At one point there's a bunch of questions regarding the most serious physical or sexual assault that's happened to you in the past five years.
I was the victim of a sexual assault some years ago, and being asked a bunch of questions about the situation (and the offender (and how I handled it)) by a machine survey has shaken me pretty badly.

The worst part is, I can't help but feel that I'm being too sensitive about it and am being selfish for wishing they had put some kind of trigger warning up before.
Except that there really is no being too sensitive about this. Or at least, it is obvious that it stirred up a whole lot of bad feelings and I have to acknowledge them now I'm aware of them.
I guess they decided not to include a "skip this if it makes you uncomfortable"-button for practical reasons, but that doesn't really prevent me from feeling weird now.

I guess what I can take with me from the survey is that I'm not done working with it. Complicated. *sigh*

Of course, it doesn't help that the assault has been surfacing the past few weeks due to a guy I met in a bar who wanted me to be more... assertive in our .. conversation - and that started a lot of thoughts about power, powerlessness and how I feel about my body and other people. Kind of hard to talk about in polite company, but I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes.

And I really needed to get this off my chest.

Also.
Hello! I guess it's been.. months? since I posted here. *waves*
I've been lurking a bit, though. You're still pretty swell. :)

It's SPRING in Denmark, and aside from days with pouring rain, time for wearing short shorts and reading books outside. Book reading is, of course, mainly a front for looking at cute guys in short shorts.

*Hugs*

That's terrible. ;_;

I hope things will be much brighter for you very soon, especially if it's Spring in your part of Denmark.

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Indeed we are! Welcome to LGBTAitp, Lix has the cookies, but we all give *Hugs!* ^_^

That meanie.

Are they excluding bi people as well? Because if they exclude bi people who are primarily hetero in deed, that would be...

Bisexuality were one of the things it specifically included, so it's both odd and terribly sad if it excludes everybody with primarily heterosexual experiences. ;_;

EDIT: *Hugs Triscuitable and Nope too*

[Asta Kask]

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

CWater! *glomp*

How's life in our old colonies?

[Carecalmo]

Thanks everybody. I was so exhausted from thinking (and talking) about it all that I fell asleep with all my clothes on. Did catch the first few hugs sent my way and they warmed me in my dreams. Waking up to more isn't bad either.

Now, to contact my therapist..

First off, *hugs*.
Clearly, we need to make asterisk-shaped LED's. What do you mean, "eye strain"?

Yes! Now I'm imagining people running around with huge asterisk-shaped lamps in their hands, giving *hugs* and living in utopia. For it would be a step on the way there.

I'm really sorry, I think I recognise your name, but I don't remember you well. Would you mind reintroducing yourself?

Sure!
Ahem. I'm Carecalmo! Pretty gay in the sexuality continuum, don't really know where I fit in genderwise. Right on the edge of genderqueer, perhaps? I just think that men should wear more cheap lipstick. And everybody should disguise themselves more.
Also male! My avatar can be a bit misleading, but I like to think I'm showing off a pretty male jawline there.
Also single and attractive and fond of wearing short shorts.

I hope things will be much brighter for you very soon, especially if it's Spring in your part of Denmark.

I woke up to the sun shining on my face! That means Spring, right? IIRC, we're both in Copenhagen, but I spent Easter building a cottages in the woods with my father in the country, so that may account for me feeling particularly springy.

And hello CWater! Due to being tired, I first parsed your post as
"I gather asexuals | [Am I] allowed here? :)"
And I think as long as you're gathering them for something good, like showering people with cupcakes and flowers, you're welcome! On second reading, you're also welcome. *hugs*

[The Succubus]

Hey new folks! *hugs the new additions to The Collective*

I'm curious about something - is asexuality more common in men or women?

[Mono Vertigo]

Oh, wow. I did not enjoy that survey at all. :(!
Emotional rant ahead: (spoilered due to content related to sexual assault and difficult stuff)

... oh boy. I'm so sorry about it

Also.
Hello! I guess it's been.. months? since I posted here. *waves*
I've been lurking a bit, though. You're still pretty swell. :)

Hi! I don't think I've seen you already. Nice to meet you!

*Hugs!* Okay, now that I know the survey's like that I just flat-out disapprove of it.

~Bianca

Same. It's important to gather data on such aggression, but they really need to do it in such a way that will respect victims/targets/survivors.

Second, you're Demisexual - 'technically straight' or not, you're definitely LGBT+. It's pretty messed-up that that survey overlooked you (and Nope for that matter, but at least he isn't European).

... thanks for telling me that. I was wondering if I was just an ally taking an obscure label to look special. (The fact that it bothered me is itself quite silly, and probably a sign of privilege. Should work on that.)

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Of course! Welcome here.

[turkishproverb]

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Well, that's why you have to teach it.

P.S. HI!


and HI to the other new people as well. You all seem great.

[supernerd]

I... Thanks. I didn't realize I'd forgotten it.

(I edited it in now that you mentioned it. *hugs*)

~Bianca

Your welcome! *hugs*

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Well they're some of the most fun people around!
That computer needs to be backed up, wiped, reprogrammed, and then given back all its files.

Thanks everybody. I was so exhausted from thinking (and talking) about it all that I fell asleep with all my clothes on. Did catch the first few hugs sent my way and they warmed me in my dreams. Waking up to more isn't bad either.

*more hugs*

Sure!
Ahem. I'm Carecalmo! Pretty gay in the sexuality continuum, don't really know where I fit in genderwise. Right on the edge of genderqueer, perhaps? I just think that men should wear more cheap lipstick. And everybody should disguise themselves more.
Also male! My avatar can be a bit misleading, but I like to think I'm showing off a pretty male jawline there.
Also single and attractive and fond of wearing short shorts.

now I'm curious... Has this thread ever springboarded a relationship?

[Heliomance]

... thanks for telling me that. I was wondering if I was just an ally taking an obscure label to look special. (The fact that it bothered me is itself quite silly, and probably a sign of privilege. Should work on that.)

Hey, I've only recently accepted that I have the right to call myself trans.

now I'm curious... Has this thread ever springboarded a relationship?

Does Skeppers and Birchgrove count?

[supernerd]

Does Skeppers and Birchgrove count?

I'm not sure... But I do remember hearing about that. Sounds like a fun time!

[Heliomance]

I'm not sure... But I do remember hearing about that. Sounds like a fun time!

The boards' second cutest couple, after BlueMoon.

[Skeppio]

Does Skeppers and Birchgrove count?

Sort of, maybe, I dunno?

[Lady Serpentine]

The boards' second cutest couple, after BlueMoon.

BlueMoon and who? Or was there some sort of wackiness that made it possible for them to be in a relationship with... Bleh, what's the gender-neutral term for 'him/herself'? 'Themself' doesn't look right, and it gets redlined...

[Skeppio]

BlueMoon and who? Or was there some sort of wackiness that made it possible for them to be in a relationship with... Bleh, what's the gender-neutral term for 'him/herself'? 'Themself' doesn't look right, and it gets redlined...

Blue Ghost and MoonCat.

[Lady Serpentine]

Blue Ghost and MoonCat.

Oh... I really should have gotten that that was a compound name, shouldn't I?

In any case, thanks for clearing up my confusion!

[Astrella]

I don't think it's a glitch, it basically thanked me for wanting to take the survey but that I wasn't part of the target group. I just tried again, saying I didn't know who I was attracted to this time, and I still won't go further.
*shrugs* It's no big deal for me. I barely qualify as an LGBT+ individual, if at all, anyway.
Oh, by the way, I took the test in French (it being my first language), but I don't think it had an influence on the rest... did it?

Aww, don't say that. You're very much a part of our little LGBT+ community we have here~

Oh, wow. I did not enjoy that survey at all. :(!
Emotional rant ahead: (spoilered due to content related to sexual assault and difficult stuff)

Spoiler

Show

At one point there's a bunch of questions regarding the most serious physical or sexual assault that's happened to you in the past five years.
I was the victim of a sexual assault some years ago, and being asked a bunch of questions about the situation (and the offender (and how I handled it)) by a machine survey has shaken me pretty badly.

The worst part is, I can't help but feel that I'm being too sensitive about it and am being selfish for wishing they had put some kind of trigger warning up before.
Except that there really is no being too sensitive about this. Or at least, it is obvious that it stirred up a whole lot of bad feelings and I have to acknowledge them now I'm aware of them.
I guess they decided not to include a "skip this if it makes you uncomfortable"-button for practical reasons, but that doesn't really prevent me from feeling weird now.

I guess what I can take with me from the survey is that I'm not done working with it. Complicated. *sigh*

Of course, it doesn't help that the assault has been surfacing the past few weeks due to a guy I met in a bar who wanted me to be more... assertive in our .. conversation - and that started a lot of thoughts about power, powerlessness and how I feel about my body and other people. Kind of hard to talk about in polite company, but I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes.

And I really needed to get this off my chest.

Also.
Hello! I guess it's been.. months? since I posted here. *waves*
I've been lurking a bit, though. You're still pretty swell. :)

It's SPRING in Denmark, and aside from days with pouring rain, time for wearing short shorts and reading books outside. Book reading is, of course, mainly a front for looking at cute guys in short shorts.

*hugs, sympathies, cookies and whatever you want*

Also, hi again~

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Them silly computers.

Hi~

BlueMoon and who? Or was there some sort of wackiness that made it possible for them to be in a relationship with... Bleh, what's the gender-neutral term for 'him/herself'? 'Themself' doesn't look right, and it gets redlined...

"Themselves" works.

-----

Lena's linkies:

Something that really rings true considering the sort of arguments I've had about certain things. (It's sarcastic.)

Oh, and some random adorableness.

[Lanaya]

Oh, and some random adorableness.

*squee*

And I thought my heart was too cold and desolate to be affected by such simple things.

[Skeppio]

Oh, and some random adorableness.

Awww, that's so sweet!

[squidbreath]

Spoiler

Show

Yup those are those books

And now for something that (shock and horror) is actually on topic for the thread:

Over the last few weeks (months? possible but not sure) I've been feeling more and more well gay. Not that I've been acting like a stereotypical gay man but my something (longing possibly? attraction? I don't know words are hard!) and it's been bothering me for a while and I'm not happy about it.

One of the reason I'm not happy about it is because I'm bi and not gay and have always leaned more towards women. In fact I've always leaned so much towards women that I've been convinced most of my life that I was straight because I had no problem completely ignoring everything else.

Another reason is that I don't actually know anyone that isn't straight so I haven't really I guess talked with anyone about anything and haven't really done anything about it other then a few measly attempts at going to a gay bar alone (oh god going to bars alone is sooooo boring).

Also I'm allowed to be irrationally annoyed at myself.

*tries to hug*

I could be wrong, but that sounds like some kinda sexual orientation fluidity thingamajig. I get that too, and find it annoying as heck personally. Sudden, irregular & variable changes = not fun.

There any gay bars around that you can take non-lgbt friends into? They must exist, or else there wouldn't be so many complaints about accompanying straight friends trying to hit on the wrong targets...or girls who go in to dodge the flirts.

[Asta Kask]

I'm not sure... But I do remember hearing about that. Sounds like a fun time!

The fun times is somewhat curtailed by them living on opposite sides of the globe.

[The Succubus]

If I ever win a sufficiently large amount of money on a scratchcard, one of the first things I will do is buy one of them a plane ticket to see the other one for a month. I really mean this.

[Asta Kask]

They should make a Kickstarter project. I'd chip in (not much - I'm poor) but only if Skeppio comes to Sweden so I can meet her.

[noparlpf]

Are they excluding bi people as well? Because if they exclude bi people who are primarily hetero in deed, that would be...

It specifically mentioned bisexual people as part of the target group.

Lena's linkies:

Something that really rings true considering the sort of arguments I've had about certain things. (It's sarcastic.)

Oh, and some random adorableness.

Yup.

Also that is quite adorable.

[Skeppio]

They should make a Kickstarter project. I'd chip in (not much - I'm poor) but only if Skeppio comes to Sweden so I can meet her.

From the Kickstarter guidelines:

No "fund my life" projects. Examples include projects to pay tuition or bills, go on vacation, or buy a new camera.

I don't think it'd be a good idea...sorry.

[Qaera]

Everyone forgets about Lena and Ashby and I.

~ ♅

[Ninja_Grand]

[
Oh, and some random adorableness.[/QUOTE]
Well that made my day.

Hi! I gather asexuals are allowed here

...My computer doesn't recognize asexual as a word, how rude!

Hi! Hope you have fun in our corner of the playground

An you can add it as a word thou IDK

Thanks everybody. I was so exhausted from thinking (and talking) about it all that I fell asleep with all my clothes on. Did catch the first few hugs sent my way and they warmed me in my dreams. Waking up to more isn't bad either.

Glad we made you feel better

Now, to contact my therapist..



Yes! Now I'm imagining people running around with huge asterisk-shaped lamps in their hands, giving *hugs* and living in utopia. For it would be a step on the way there.

Yes!

Sure!
Ahem. I'm Carecalmo! Pretty gay in the sexuality continuum, don't really know where I fit in genderwise. Right on the edge of genderqueer, perhaps? I just think that men should wear more cheap lipstick. And everybody should disguise themselves more.
Also male! My avatar can be a bit misleading, but I like to think I'm showing off a pretty male jawline there.
Also single and attractive and fond of wearing short shorts.

Re-hi! Now if I only lived in Denmark...

I woke up to the sun shining on my face! That means Spring, right? IIRC, we're both in Copenhagen, but I spent Easter building a cottages in the woods with my father in the country, so that may account for me feeling particularly springy.

And hello CWater! Due to being tired, I first parsed your post as
"I gather asexuals | [Am I] allowed here? :)"
And I think as long as you're gathering them for something good, like showering people with cupcakes and flowers, you're welcome! On second reading, you're also welcome. *hugs*

Hey new folks! *hugs the new additions to The Collective*
Dont make it sound like some sort of cult. They have a way of ending badly!
I'm curious about something - is asexuality more common in men or women?

I have to google it...... Best I can find. From a Yahoo anwser source.

[Mono Vertigo]

I have a feeling asexuality is more common in women, if only because such terms as "frigidity" are almost exclusively applied to them and might just be a misunderstanding of asexuality.
Then again, the general dynamics between men and women being what they are, that alone can't be considered a reliable clue. I mean by this that women are supposed to be gatekeepers, that they are considered prostitutes if they have a noticeable libido BUT that they're also called [REDACTED] if they withhold sex from their male partner, that men are supposed to always want to have sex with men/women/everyone (?!), and that a man who doesn't or who is not particularly good at it is either inexperienced, ill or old, that anyone who hasn't had sex past age 21 is considered creepy or untouchable, and that there's such a thing as peer pressure....
*breathes again*
That's a lot of things to study in relation to asexuality.