Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

[JAL_1138]

Ah, the National 'Elf, made up of 20000 pointy eared clerics of medicine. So much more efficient than old-fashioned 'elf insurance.

Is it bad that I know want to play a dungeon 'Elf and Safety inspector, who goes over dungeons to make sure they aren't too dangerous for adventurers.

Keep in mind, the Tomb of Horrors passed inspection.

[Anonymouswizard]

Keep in mind, the Tomb of Horrors passed inspection.

It hasn't yet, the inspectors keep dying in mysterious accidents.

[GuesssWho]

A fun horrible PC to play would be one based on Kevin, from WtNV. Have him spend the whole game praising the bad guys and trying to find his happy pills.

[pwcsponson]

How to ruin player immersion 101.

Make a Tibbit Warblade and/or Barbarian, maintain Cat form. Never be not a cat, so you can never communicate with your party members. During combat you Rage and stack on as much STRENGTH and CON as you can. You use maneuvers such as CRUSHING WEIGHT OF THE MOUNTAIN, and COMET THROW, and my favorite for the tibbit, DEATH FROM ABOVE. The rest of your party sees a house cat flip out and utterly wreck opponents.

Bonus: If you're a crusader tibbit you can be an INDESTRUCTIBLE cat.

Alternatively, be a wizard. Take ocular spell. Be a cat shooting lasers out of your eyes.

[goto124]

I'm trying to think of a situation/setting where it won't break immersion.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm trying to think of a situation/setting where it won't break immersion.

Village of commoners?

Where is Tibbit from? I have an urge to play a catfolk.

[pwcsponson]

Village of commoners?

Where is Tibbit from? I have an urge to play a catfolk.

Dragon Compendium. They regularly look like halflings, but with the caveat that they can turn into a common cat 1/day and maintain it as long as they want. They're monstrous humanoids so you get all those nice benefits, and baleful polymorph won't work on them - because they then just turn into a cat and then back.

I played a low-level wizard tibbit thief once. When they transform all their belongings meld into their form. So I grabbed a bunch of valuable stuff, turned into a cat, and left.

Edit: Grammar

Edit Edit: Bonus Bonus, when being a wizard, take a cat familiar. You can now talk to your companion. Two cats walking around doing cat things.

[Anonymouswizard]

Dragon Compendium. They regularly look like halflings, but with the caveat that they can turn into a common cat 1/day and maintain it as long as they want. They're monstrous humanoids so you get all those nice benefits, and baleful polymorph won't work on them - because they then just turn into a cat and then back.

I played a low-level wizard tibbit thief once. When they transform all their belongings meld into their form. So I grabbed a bunch of valuable stuff, turned into a cat, and left.

Edit: Grammar

Edit Edit: Bonus Bonus, when being a wizard, take a cat familiar. You can now talk to your companion. Two cats walking around doing cat things.

Step 1: get Dragon compendium.
Step 2: tibbit transmuter.
Step 3: baleful polymorph+charm animal.
Step 4: take over kingdom with horde of identical cats, threaten to kill all commoners if anybody resists.

[Milodiah]

How to ruin player immersion 101.

Make a Tibbit Warblade and/or Barbarian, maintain Cat form. Never be not a cat, so you can never communicate with your party members. During combat you Rage and stack on as much STRENGTH and CON as you can. You use maneuvers such as CRUSHING WEIGHT OF THE MOUNTAIN, and COMET THROW, and my favorite for the tibbit, DEATH FROM ABOVE. The rest of your party sees a house cat flip out and utterly wreck opponents.

Bonus: If you're a crusader tibbit you can be an INDESTRUCTIBLE cat.

Alternatively, be a wizard. Take ocular spell. Be a cat shooting lasers out of your eyes.

So, I'm absolutely stealing this as a DM in order to screw with my players

[Altrunchen]

Any character made by the GM for his girlfriend/wife to get her interested in gaming.

Often has a supernatural "Tiger" as a "pet kitty"

Is the sexiest woman in the universe, because of course.

And so on and so on.

Not sure how I missed this post at the time. And yeah, favoritism, and dating don't seem to mix well with D&D. It just makes everything so awkward.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'd forgotten about this thread. Anybody know if WotC have released a Thread Necromancer subclass yet?

Also, Kender rogur with maximum Strength and Dexterity, as well as a belt of giant strength (as many +s as possible). Put as many ranks as possible into Hide, Move Silently, and Sleight of Hand. Buy as many enchanted pebbles as you can, specifically enchanted to be as heavy as possible. For feats we want at least Skill Focus (Sleight of Hand), ideally Skill Focus (Hide) and Skill Focus (Move Silently) as well.

The result is a character with ideally +17 to Hide, Move Silently, and Sleight of Hand (assuming level 6). The result? A Kender who wanders by people and drops incredibly heavy stones in their pockets.

[kestrel404]

My standard MO is to PLAY the worst characters I can come up with. Usually with terrible puns for names.
For instance:
Current 5e D&D character is a Tiefling Warlock. I convinced the GM to re-fluff Shilaighleigh as a warlock cantrip in place of eldritch blast, so I can do the Glaivelock thing starting at 1st level (this actually came about because there no one wanted to play a fighter-type, and it was me & the bard who had the highest HP). Overall, character is middle-of-the-road in terms of optimization.
Now, the part where he's a terrible PC? Well, the other Tiefling in the party (the bard, in fact, with female player) decided that her mother was a succubus. Also being a tiefling, and already deciding I didn't want this character to be overly serious (my mental stats for the character are 8 int, 5 wis, 19 cha), I decided we were half-siblings. Her Succubus Mother was my Dad - because magic. I continue to add extra 'features' to the character to go along with this - like the fact that his alignment is Chaotic Good, not because he's a good person, but because his motivations is 'For the Greater Evil!' and he's just THAT incompetent. He has anime attack-tourettes (calls out all his spells, loudly, prior to casting) with verbal components like 'By the Power of Pink Skull!' (Shilaighleigh), 'Smite Good!' (Hex), and 'Kneel Before my Magnificence!' (Command - this is invariably also the command, which is essentially the 'fall prone' option). I made character art of this character by adding Devil-horns to Lucious Malfoy and coloring him pink.

[GuesssWho]

Well, I just had a Deadlands game with the worst attempt at infiltration ever.

Hint: when sending a team into enemy territory, don't send a bank robber with the alias Rob Banks, a misplaced dandy who has zero actual experience, a lunatic patriot carrying three flags and a Whateley.

[ThinkMinty]

The worst player character I can come up with? Worse than even the DM's girlfriend?

A DMPC, every time. They get optimization the player couldn't get half of with a handjob and sharing their Netflix password. Then the backstory is always so self-congratulatory, and they have some bull**** like 28 ****ing Dexterity at Level 5.

Anyways, here's me doing some of these properly.

Inquisitor Banana!
You are a mysterious man-banana who is also an Inquisitor. While your body is soft and resembles some fruit-mascot come to life, you do not brook any jokes at the expense of your plantane-esque physique. Bananas are not lame, bananas are awesome. The only thing richer than your potassium levels is your distaste for heretics and their disgusting meat-based bodies.

Tsundere Supergirl
I just saved the townpeople, but not because I like them or anything, dum-dum! It was the right thing to do. It's not because I want them to notice me or anything! I'm not wearing short flouncy skirts to try and show all of them my legs and my butt, it's for...mobility! Yeah, that's it. Mobility.

Chaotic Neutral Catfolk Dragonborn of Bahamut Rogue
Didn't see this played, but I saw someone ask to play it. Speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Paladins That Forget They're PCs
If we have to plan a heist to steal **** from an evil or neutral NPC, you are coming along and helping, meatshield. You won't fall for protecting your friends, it's not against your religion, stop being Miko.

Alice Abernathy/Janus Prospero
****ing Alice. Seriously, I thought you would be good, Resident Evil movies. You betrayed me. She's like if they Dungeon Master's Girlfriend was the one Psion in a low fantasy horror campaign, and then every third sentence of the game was about her buttcheeks and why they're perfect.

[Anonymouswizard]

This is one that I've used as a DMPC, but I really want to play. It is legitimately Horrible.

The DMPC's name was Drew Barry More, but as a PC I'd give a name more along the lines of Charles the Vigilant. He's a high Strength high Wisdom decent Intelligence fighter, ideally a 5e battlemaster, focused on polearms and area denial. However, his back story involves him being the god of valour incarnated into human form. It's complicated, but he literally gave up his powers and 99% of his memories to become a human, in a world with a 'no cheats' rule which means he has to start from scratch. So he's wandering the world trying to gain enough power to do whatever it is he came down to the world to do, despite having no idea what it is (and being unable to reclaim his memories until he dies). The entire idea stemmed from wanting an 'angel with no divine power'.

[JAL_1138]

Paladins That Forget They're PCs
If we have to plan a heist to steal **** from an evil or neutral NPC, you are coming along and helping, meatshield. You won't fall for protecting your friends, it's not against your religion, stop being Miko.

Except when the DM is a jerk and forces the paladin to fall for any reason they possibly can, in which case it goes "Stealing is against your code, and associating with thieves is against your code, so you fall"...

(EDIT: I have an admittedly unsubstantiated hypothesis that some--not all, but some--Lawful Stupid Paladins are that way as a precaution because they've had a DM who just loved finding any excuse to make them fall.)

[ThinkMinty]

Except when the DM is a jerk and forces the paladin to fall for any reason they possibly can, in which case it goes "Stealing is against your code, and associating with thieves is against your code, so you fall"...

(EDIT: I have an admittedly unsubstantiated hypothesis that some--not all, but some--Lawful Stupid Paladins are that way as a precaution because they've had a DM who just loved finding any excuse to make them fall.)

At that point, why continue rolling Paladins?

I posit my own hypothesis: All Paladins are Lawful Stupid.

[Nerd-o-rama]

At that point, why continue rolling Paladins?

I posit my own hypothesis: All Paladins are Lawful Stupid.

I posit my hypothesis that too many people, both as players and GMs, treat the cooperative game of D&D as too much of a competition, and the inherently fractious nature of internet text communication makes this worse.


Did I already mention the one time I played a Changeling Duskblade in a mostly-comedic giant robot game who kept shapeshifting into different anime girls? Because I played that and screw you it was fun.

[TheThan]

here's my entry for worst character. Hi s name is Cliché, I built him for a superheroes game.

Spoiler

Show

Superhero name: Cliché
Name: Un-revealed
Origin: alien/atlantien/amazon/ naturalized US citizen
Power Origin: alien in origin, cosmic rays, gamma radiation, bit by a radioactive spider, amazon combat training.
Powers: you name it.


Backstory/origin

When cliché was an infant, intergalactic villains murdered Cliché’s family. These villains were trying to escape the doomed planet. But before they could, Cliché’s father managed to launch the pod in time to escape the exploding planet.

While on course for earth his space pod was bombarded by gamma radiation and cosmic rays. This damaged the space pod and instead of it crashing on land, it careened into the ocean. Where people from the city of Atlantis found the pod and discovered the child Cliché still inside.
Believing Cliché to be a godsend they named him their king. But the current king would not have a child usurper over throw him, so he banished Cliché to the surface world, where he washed up on a seemingly deserted island and was subsequently bitten by a radioactive spider. Sick and delirious he stumbled into the village of a tribe of amazon warriors who lived on the islands. The amazons too him in and healed the child. He stayed in the village and grew up as part of the amazon tribe.

Growing into a teenager among the amazons Cliché became a powerful warrior. at this time his mutant powers manifested and he spend several years learning to hone his power. Eventually wanderlust struck and he longed to venture out beyond the confines of his island home. As per the amazon’s customs cliché had to earn his freedom by defeating the strongest amazon warrior on the island. Upon winning the contest, Cliché was awarded the freedom to venture out into the world.

After leaving his home Cliché roamed the world as an adventurer for many years. Until he ended up in a large metropolitan city on the USA’s eastern seaboard. Upon entering the US he discovered he was the heir to a fortune and then became the 5th richest person in the world. While exploring his new home he stumbled upon a special ring which when activated gave him great cosmic power. But he had grown up with a desire to earn his living, so he found a job as a news paper reporter and part time photographer. Eventually he met a beautiful woman, the two fell in love and were soon married. However tragedy struck the newlyweds. One day, they had planned a picnic in Central Park their peaceful day was shattered by gunfire. Two rival gangs had decided make Central Park their war zone. Cliché’s wife was shot dead, Cliché was injured in an explosion and needed immediate medical surgery. The doctor who performed the surgery attached a mechanical device the kept shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him. After recovering cliché mourned the loss of his wife, then he raged transforming into a hulking raging monstrosity. He slaughtered the members of both gangs. He was later arrested but was let off on a technicality.

His experiences in the world and in the news paper industry lead him to long for the simple justice system the amazons used. So he made himself a costume and became a superhero to uphold protect those weaker than himself.

To be fair, he was intended to be parody. He was basically a superman rip off, although I don't think he had flight. His primary exploit was pile driving a rip off of Baxter Stockman down an elevator shaft, dropping him five stories and somehow dealing more damage to himself than his victim. Oh well.

[JAL_1138]

At that point, why continue rolling Paladins?

Because what else are you going to do with 17 CHA and an INT score a point or two too low to play a Bard (if the DM even allows them) instead?

[Thomas Hunter]

The initial character itself wasn't too terrible, but I used the potential given by him to achieve a .5 on the Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment, so it bears mentioning.

This was a Star Wars game, but it was set after all known canon. I played an Imperial Knight (basically a Jedi) whose master was the prince of the Fel Empire (long story). Unbeknownst to the party, I was a Shi'do (shapeshifter, but better than the Clawdite from AotC), with max ranks in Disguise (the main shapeshifting skill; along with a +10 species bonus, Skill Emphasis, and the feat Cosmopolitan, which makes it class skill when it otherwise wouldn't have been and gives a +2), and high Diplomacy.
I was sent with a group of mercs on a vitally important mission by the Jedi Council (who are separate from the Fels) to investigate Felucia, because it went Force-crazy (so all the Jedi wanted to stay far, far away). I was sent by the Fels to keep an eye on them and to look for my master's fiancé, who had gone missing on Felucia.

At the end of the first session, we met my master's fiancé, who was now a full-fledged Sith and attempted to kill the (level two) party. We were already weakened, and the GM obviously wanted us to run. I instead dropped my disguise (the party thought I was human) and, before she got a good look at me, shapeshifted into my master (and our current enemy's fiancé). The rest of the table was stunned.

I fairly easily passed her spot check to tell me apart from her master (she rolled terribly and I got a nat 20, for a total in the 40s). She faltered, but pressed on. I attempted Diplomacy to talk her down.

The GM made the mistake of declaring a DC that I needed to beat. I was able to munchkin my way to it.

He declared the end of the session so he could figure out what the heck to do with his campaign.

Yeah, he's not the greatest GM in the world.

[Braininthejar2]

That's not horrible, that's awesome.

[GuesssWho]

Horriblawsome and adorifying.

[Templarkommando]

Had a player with this in a campaign for exactly two sessions before it had to go.

Yuranis is an Alu-Fiend - that's a character that is half-succubus half-human. For the base race, we're not going to use a rulebook. We're gonna get stats from someone that homebrewed it to be so powerful it's redonkulus! http://www.dnd-gate.de/gate3/page/index.php?id=125 looks like the idea, but the homebrew this player found had like a +10 to charisma, not a +4. This race has a progression like a class does, but don't worry about that, because she's also a sorcerer. At some point, she hopes to be a shadow dancer, because shadow dance is just so damned cool. No one in the game is allowed to know anything about her past. This includes other PCs, racial enemies of Succubi, DMs, All other NPCs, and otherwise omniscient beings. This character is chaotic neutral inthat she will attempt - given half a chance - to steal anything that is not nailed down. The player's misunderstanding of the rule books means that this sorcerer can cast any spell out of the entire spell list at will just so long as she doesn't go past her daily limit of spells. In the event that someone recognizes her as a half-succubi, the player will throw a fit, claim that their character commits suicide and pout for the rest of the evening curled up on the couch. The character waits until evening when all the other characters are asleep and goes on "recon" missions that soak up two or more hours of out of game time to pull off. Yuranis will claim to be the party treasurer, and then spends all of the party loot to purchase a boat that doesn't go anywhere so she can brew alcohol in the bottom. Despite a brokenly high charisma (Something like a 28 in a game with a party of PHB race characters at level 7), this character is extremely shy and will never use her high diplomacy to help the party at all. Will not tolerate anyone making fun of a name like Yuranis (pronounced Your-ah-nis) by people pronouncing it incorrectly (Your-ay-nis).

[Anonymouswizard]

Had a player with this in a campaign for exactly two sessions before it had to go.

Yuranis is an Alu-Fiend - that's a character that is half-succubus half-human. For the base race, we're not going to use a rulebook. We're gonna get stats from someone that homebrewed it to be so powerful it's redonkulus! http://www.dnd-gate.de/gate3/page/index.php?id=125 looks like the idea, but the homebrew this player found had like a +10 to charisma, not a +4. This race has a progression like a class does, but don't worry about that, because she's also a sorcerer. At some point, she hopes to be a shadow dancer, because shadow dance is just so damned cool. No one in the game is allowed to know anything about her past. This includes other PCs, racial enemies of Succubi, DMs, All other NPCs, and otherwise omniscient beings. This character is chaotic neutral inthat she will attempt - given half a chance - to steal anything that is not nailed down. The player's misunderstanding of the rule books means that this sorcerer can cast any spell out of the entire spell list at will just so long as she doesn't go past her daily limit of spells. In the event that someone recognizes her as a half-succubi, the player will throw a fit, claim that their character commits suicide and pout for the rest of the evening curled up on the couch. The character waits until evening when all the other characters are asleep and goes on "recon" missions that soak up two or more hours of out of game time to pull off. Yuranis will claim to be the party treasurer, and then spends all of the party loot to purchase a boat that doesn't go anywhere so she can brew alcohol in the bottom. Despite a brokenly high charisma (Something like a 28 in a game with a party of PHB race characters at level 7), this character is extremely shy and will never use her high diplomacy to help the party at all. Will not tolerate anyone making fun of a name like Yuranis (pronounced Your-ah-nis) by people pronouncing it incorrectly (Your-ay-nis).

Wow, I wouldn't have put up for it with a session (I reserve the right to ban any unofficial or official character options for one, after a player thought that Minotaur racial HD didn't count towards his ECL). Not much I'd be able to do with how the character acted, but next time I get to play I'm thinking of using 'Eyemspecial', a CN character who acts like aa Chaotic Stupid jerk and claims to be from a homebrew race (he's actually bulk standard human). He dies in the first session, just as all such characters should.

[ThinkMinty]

Had a player with this in a campaign for exactly two sessions before it had to go.

Yuranis is an Alu-Fiend - that's a character that is half-succubus half-human. For the base race, we're not going to use a rulebook. We're gonna get stats from someone that homebrewed it to be so powerful it's redonkulus! http://www.dnd-gate.de/gate3/page/index.php?id=125 looks like the idea, but the homebrew this player found had like a +10 to charisma, not a +4. This race has a progression like a class does, but don't worry about that, because she's also a sorcerer. At some point, she hopes to be a shadow dancer, because shadow dance is just so damned cool. No one in the game is allowed to know anything about her past. This includes other PCs, racial enemies of Succubi, DMs, All other NPCs, and otherwise omniscient beings. This character is chaotic neutral inthat she will attempt - given half a chance - to steal anything that is not nailed down. The player's misunderstanding of the rule books means that this sorcerer can cast any spell out of the entire spell list at will just so long as she doesn't go past her daily limit of spells. In the event that someone recognizes her as a half-succubi, the player will throw a fit, claim that their character commits suicide and pout for the rest of the evening curled up on the couch. The character waits until evening when all the other characters are asleep and goes on "recon" missions that soak up two or more hours of out of game time to pull off. Yuranis will claim to be the party treasurer, and then spends all of the party loot to purchase a boat that doesn't go anywhere so she can brew alcohol in the bottom. Despite a brokenly high charisma (Something like a 28 in a game with a party of PHB race characters at level 7), this character is extremely shy and will never use her high diplomacy to help the party at all. Will not tolerate anyone making fun of a name like Yuranis (pronounced Your-ah-nis) by people pronouncing it incorrectly (Your-ay-nis).

That is way too specific to have not happened.

[Kaveman26]

Any character capable of sight and literacy in a chuthulu setting.

[goto124]

@ThinkMinty: Note the first sentence. You're right.

[ThinkMinty]

'Full of ants' sounds like an awesome super power, but only if they didn't bite you.

You're full of ants, all the ants can bite is more ant. You're not gonna feel it.

@ThinkMinty: Note the first sentence. You're right.

See, sometimes I miss a sentence here and there due to a high reading speed and somewhat severe ADHD. It's good to know my ability to guess stuff sometimes obviates the need to actually know stuff.

[GuesssWho]

You're full of ants, all the ants can bite is more ant. You're not gonna feel it.

No, that would be being made of ants. There is a difference