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  1. - Top - End - #1381
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    *Shows up in a cloak, fedora, and sunglasses*
    Give my clothes back.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  2. - Top - End - #1382
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    Raging Gene Ray's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Give my clothes back.
    ...but we like you so much better when you're naked!

  3. - Top - End - #1383
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    What's Thread 7's title?
    Spoiler
    Show
    Avatar by KwarkPudding!

  4. - Top - End - #1384
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    But damn, that would be creepy. It would be a love/hate relationship without the love.
    One-sided lust/hate relationship?

    I just hope they'll realize how precarious her trust in them is. They're not going to be happy how much attention Xykon is paying her, but they maybe that could be used to help them all escape. And how long is it going to be until they find out she's a sorcerer?
    Well, she'd eventually fire off a little magic, and Reddy and Vaarsuvius know that wizards can't learn anything beyond a cantrip until they're at least a young adult...

    And how would they realize what state her trust was in? Obviously, they don't expect her to immediately completely trust them with her life and love them, but how would they figure out that there's actually something holding her back...?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    *Whacks Water-Smurf with a 2X4*
    *dies* *twitches*

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    *Shows up in a cloak, fedora, and sunglasses*

    You know how to make it stop. *Hands a pencil and a pad of paper*
    I feel like I'm trying to get a fix.

    But seriously, Xykon liked whores as a younger man, but as he grew, I have a feeling he became more attracted to the beautiful women he actually respects on some level. He respects guts, an appreciation for brute force, a lack of wisdom, and fire. Vaarsuvius has all that in abundance. She has spark, and the same fire that made the darker, more subversive Redcloak fall in love with her is the fire that would attract Xykon like a moth. Of course, Vaarsuvius would never reciprocate Xykon's respect or attraction, but I don't see that concerning him too much...

    Spoiler
    Show

    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  5. - Top - End - #1385
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Devixer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    What's Thread 7's title?
    Crack Pairings VII - Stand by for Assimilation

    I doubt it'll be that, we have a lot of other names.

  6. - Top - End - #1386
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Just a note, I'm going through another of those emotional breakdowns. (They're becoming disturbingly routine.) I'm not sure if this means more updates or less. Probably less, since my U key broke and now my keyboard's hard to type on for long.

    Return to your regular programming.

    Spoiler
    Show

    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  7. - Top - End - #1387

    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    What's Thread 7's title?
    Some combination of drinks, spiked, and love potion.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  8. - Top - End - #1388
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Heh, the play was awesome and I REALLY needed that laugh, but...

    *Sigh* B still doesn't know. He's never received any romantic advances before and he's got a lot of schoolwork too.

    I got the sense that he's waiting a few months for junior year to wind down before doing anything. Which I understand, but my hyperactivity...Gaah.

  9. - Top - End - #1389
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Heh, the play was awesome and I REALLY needed that laugh, but...

    *Sigh* B still doesn't know. He's never received any romantic advances before and he's got a lot of schoolwork too.

    I got the sense that he's waiting a few months for junior year to wind down before doing anything. Which I understand, but my hyperactivity...Gaah.
    Patience young Padawan.

    No... wait. Jedi aren't allowed to love...

    Ok, nevermind then.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

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  10. - Top - End - #1390
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    What was the spell Xykon used to keep Eugene from interfering during the Xykon/Fyron duel? (Seen here.)
    Otiluke's Resiliant Sphere, most likely. A decent caster can simply Dim Door out of it, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Patience young Padawan.

    No... wait. Jedi aren't allowed to love...

    Ok, nevermind then.
    Depends on the Jedi. Old Republic sticks(either in the mud or up their bum) can't, but the NJO is basically a fanficcer's dream come true.
    [/sarcasm]
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  11. - Top - End - #1391
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    ...Crap. Now I'm imagining how Xykon would become attracted to Vaarsuvius. Make it stop make it stop makeitstopmakeitstop...
    I can easily see him do it just to torment Redcloak.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
    ― Tim Fargo

  12. - Top - End - #1392
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Just a note, I'm going through another of those emotional breakdowns.
    *hugs*



    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    I can easily see him do it just to torment Redcloak.
    I can easily see him do it just to creep out V.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-02-05 at 02:18 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  13. - Top - End - #1393
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Just a note, I'm going through another of those emotional breakdowns. (They're becoming disturbingly routine.) I'm not sure if this means more updates or less. Probably less, since my U key broke and now my keyboard's hard to type on for long.

    Return to your regular programming.
    *hugs and cookies*
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
    ― Tim Fargo

  14. - Top - End - #1394
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Just a note, I'm going through another of those emotional breakdowns. (They're becoming disturbingly routine.) I'm not sure if this means more updates or less. Probably less, since my U key broke and now my keyboard's hard to type on for long.

    Return to your regular programming.
    DX
    (hugs too)
    No-one seems to be having a good couple of days...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  15. - Top - End - #1395
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    More of Order of the Stick: Knight of Destruction. The continuing tale of Miko and the Snarl...

    Spoiler
    Show

    Miko let her mother lead her into the temple, Windstriker being led off to the stables to be fed and groomed. Despite her growing panic at being discovered, she couldn’t help but smile at seeing old, familiar surroundings. Eyko kept talking, oblivious to her daughter’s discomfort.

    “You cannot imagine how good it was to see you again,” Eyko said, “When Gobbotopia was founded after Azure City fell, those wretched creatures sent envoys to try and win our loyalty. Naturally, we… politely declined and sent those insults to the noble Twelve Gods back in pieces. How could we ever support a race who gloated so openly about their conquest?”

    “Yes… Can’t trust hobgoblins, no ma’am,” Miko said. She looked into a training room as they passed, seeing several young men and women training to be monks.

    Eyko nodded. “Such wretched creatures… They claimed you were dead, but I prayed to the Twelve Gods daily… And praise be, they’ve brought you back to us!”

    Miko fumed inwardly. It wasn’t the Gods that brought me back, mother. They abandoned me! she thought, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

    “Oh my lovely Miko, it’s so good to have you home again! There’s some new epic level feats for monks that you can learn, that will perfectly compliment your paladin abilities,” Eyko said. She then paused. “Which reminds me… Miko, who is the father of your baby? Or babies, rather, if that belly size is any indication?”

    Miko paled a little. She had always been a terrible liar, her bluff checks so low they made dents in the floor. “Um…”

    Eyko smiled indulgently. “Is it a God? Have you become so enlightened that one of the noble Twelve Gods chose to mate with you?”

    Miko fought back the urge to gag at the very concept of a God touching her in that manner. “I… I assure you, mother, that a God had a great deal of involvement in my current condition,” she managed after a moment. Which was technically true, but not in the way Eyko’s joyous expression meant.

    She hugged Miko again, “Oh, that’s wonderful! That explains your appearance change so well,” she said, “Still, though… Violet and Indigo? Aren’t darker colors usually born from evil influences?”

    Miko coughed nervously, thought desperately for a moment, and eventually came up with something. “Ah, but in the current Green Lantern story arc, Violet and Indigo have been established as the colors of Love and Compassion respectively.”

    Eyko looked thoughtful for a moment, and nodded. “Makes perfect sense,” she said, “I shouldn’t judge by appearances anyway, I know better than that.”

    A flash of bitterness came through Miko. Thanks for teaching ME that, she grumbled inwardly. Still, though, she was grateful her deception worked. A natural 20 on my bluff check, whew… I feel a little stupid that I had to resort to a pop culture reference, but at least it worked…

    Eyko led Miko onward, telling her about what had happened since her last visit. After a while, Eyko mentioned something confusing, so much so that Miko felt compelled to ask. “Mother… You said three gates… Wasn’t the Azure City gate destroyed?”

    “Hm? Oh yes. Tragic, that. But apparently even goblins and hobgoblins have common sense. The rift over the city got too big, so they recreated the Azure Gate,” Eyko said. She scowled. “It was the only time we ever cooperated with those wretched creatures.”

    Miko frowned. Three gates now… That will make things complicated…

    Not if you butcher everyone in the former Azure City, the Snarl commented.

    Miko blinked. Master?

    The Snarl remained silent. Miko frowned. But she did have to admit, it was a good idea. And she was planning on doing that anyway. She giggled as fantasies of eviscerating Redcloak and grinding the lich into powder that she would sprinkle in her coffee. The fantasies expanded, including a rousing game of tetherball using Belkar’s intestines as the tether and his head as the ball…

    So lost in happy violent fantasies was she that she hadn’t realized where she was being led. When she realized that Eyko had stopped, she blinked. “Mother?”

    Eyko smiled, somewhat embarrassed. “Forgive me, but indulge your doting old mother. Just let the priests examine you, make sure that you and your young are all right.”

    Miko frowned, wondering what to do. But she felt a sense of assurance from the Snarl, and she nodded, smiling. Letting the aged priests lead her into the temple’s hospital, she stripped out of her armor until she was in her undergarments. She looked down at herself and realized that she did look quite pregnant.

    A side effect of having the Snarl’s power in me? There’s probably so much of it that my body had to expand SOMEWHERE just to contain it… she thought idly.

    Miko lay back on the couch, as a priest came over with a stethoscope to listen to her stomach, checking for the heartbeats of her babies.

    …Oh I can’t resist, the Snarl said in Miko’s mind as the stethoscope gently touched her belly.

    “Let’s see what we can hear, shall we?” the priest said, listening in.

    I like to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a, the Snarl sang. The priest jerked back up, confused.

    Miko giggled, despite herself. When the priest looked at her, she said, “It’s cold and you’re tickling me.”

    Frowning, the priest leaned in to listen again.

    This time, the Snarl sang, Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you!

    The priest jerked back up again. Miko giggled, blushing a little. This was too funny!

    Scowling now, the priest listened in again.

    The Snarl, still having fun, sang, And we were trying different things, and we were smoking funny things, making love out by the lake to our favorite song! Drinkin’ whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin’ ‘bout tomorrow, singin’ Sweet Home Alabama, all summer long!

    “That last one was kinda catchy,” the priest muttered, calling over his colleague, and asking him to listen in. This time, the Snarl just simulated the healthy heartbeats of three babies.

    The priest’s colleague glared at him. The first priest looked nervous. “There was singing! I swear it!”

    The second priest frowned. “Have you been in the medicinal whiskey again?”

    “NO! I swear! It was just the one time!” the first priest said, the second priest sighing in frustration. Miko giggled, thinking the whole thing hilarious.

    The rest of the examination proceeded normally, Miko being dressed in a robe before being let out. Eyko met her outside. “How do you feel, my dear?”

    Miko looked around the temple. It felt good to be here, true… But still, she didn’t feel quite comfortable here…

    After a long moment, Miko smiled weakly and settled on saying “Nostalgic.”

    Eyko hugged her daughter again, and walked around with her some more, the two of them chatting happily. Miko made up a story about having a vision and going off on a quest, expressing her ‘regret’ that she was not there to help save Azure City, but describing a fairly decent fake adventure of enlightenment that culminated in her being visited by Tiger and mating with him, resulting in her current condition. (She almost said Horse, but she remembered too well her time in Hell and the thought of that just made her shudder.)

    Eventually, after having dinner together, Miko was led to her old room in the temple. It still had all of her old things in it, the few material possessions that Monks were allowed, her armor laying in one corner of the room. Eyko bid her daughter good night, hugging and kissing her once more, leaving Miko alone.

    Miko sat on her bed, picking up the small white, horse plush and hugging it. She smiled briefly, remembering the comfort she received when she was younger just from holding it, her joy at seeing her favorite toy seemingly come to life when she first met Windstriker.

    …Windstriker…

    She felt she had shown him little in the way of appreciation in the last few years of her life. So dedicated to the life of a paladin was she that she had missed out on so much. He had never left her side, even after being turned into a fel beast.

    She looked up, seeing a small golden shrine to the Twelve Gods mounted on the table. Scowling, she reached out and grabbed it, heat radiating from her hand and melting the shrine into slag. With an angry toss, she threw it out the window.

    Feeling better for venting her frustration, she lay back in her bed, slightly small for her now, but big for her when she was younger, and drifted off to sleep, a single thought in her head as she tightly clutched her horse plush.

    This is no longer my home…




    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    Last time, on Order of the Stick: Knight of Destruction.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Miko, her purple and indigo armor shimmering in the sunlight, rode across the land. Inside her swollen midsection, she felt the Snarl stirring about in subdued fashion.

    “You’re being awfully quiet for a being of pure destruction and disorder,” Miko comment.

    The Snarl chuckled. Beloved, when you’ve been imprisoned for as long as I have, you tend to learn patience. To my delight, learning patience has allowed me to come up with new ways to destroy…

    Miko nodded. “Where are we going, then?”

    I have one final test for you, Miko, the Snarl said.

    Miko blinked, and gave her belly an irritated look. “A test?”

    One final test. If you fail, then I will simply leave you and find a new host. I will be disappointed, for certain, as in you I see myself. If you succeed… Heh, then the destruction can truly begin.

    Miko frowned. She felt a twinge of unease as she went down the road. It only occurred to her after she had traveled for an hour that she recognized this path.

    “It can’t be… I haven’t been back here in years…” Miko said. She spurred Windstriker on, the now demonic horse thundering along the path. Moving at twice his normal speed, Windstriker dashed across the land, heading up into the mountains, the rocky terrain no barrier for the enchanted horse.

    In short order, they arrived at the end of the path: Miko gasped, seeing the ancient columns of stone, the trees and blossoming plants surrounding this oasis in the harshness of the mountains.

    “This… This is the temple where I was born… Where my life began, where I took my first levels in monk…” Miko whispered.

    The Snarl chuckled. This is your final test, Miko. To see if you and I are meant to be together.

    Miko stared in shock. Slivers of happy memories flitted through her thoughts, as she dismounted and headed into the temple.

    She stepped into the courtyard of the monastery, finding no one there. “Hello?” she called out, “Is anyone around?”

    Miko frowned. She ran a Listen check, hearing a pair of soft footsteps heading for the main courtyard. Reflexively, she whirled, reaching for her katana and wakizashi,

    “Miko?” said a soft voice.

    It took Miko a moment to recognize the voice. But when she did… “Mother?”

    A cloaked figure emerged from the main temple. She removed her hood, revealing an aged face, one that Miko knew well.

    “Mother? Milady Eyko?” Miko asked, her hands shaking.

    The woman stared at Miko worriedly. “Miko? My little Miko? Is that you?”

    An eternity of imprisonment has taught me patience, child. But I can sense you will make your decision soon. Until then, I will remain silent, the Snarl said to Miko.

    Miko’s hands shook as Eyko slowly approached her. She managed to smile, bringing her hands together and bowing. “I… Yes, it is me, mother. I have been… through much… And as you can tell, I have changed somewhat…”

    “So I see…” Eyko said, tears coming her eyes as she rushed over to hug her daughter. “Oh Twelve Gods be praised, it is good to see you again!”

    A flash of anger jolted Miko at the mention of the Twelve Gods, but she managed to contain her fury for now, and hugged her mother gently, careful not to cut her with the blades on her armor. “It is… good to be seen again… I have been away for a long time.”

    Eyko smiled warmly, kissing her daughter’s cheek. “I was so worried… When Azure City was conquered and turned into Gobbotopia, I was afraid I had lost you…”

    “Gobbotopia?!” Miko said, visibly confused.

    Eyko nodded sadly. “For the past four years, going on five now, Azure City has been under control over the bearer of the Red Mantle. The lich Xykon occasionally shows up there as well, but he mainly hunts the Order of the Stick, who travel from gate to gate, stopping him from taking them over.”

    Miko scowled. “Well, at least I know where everyone I want to kill is…” she muttered.

    “Hm?” Eyko asked.

    “Nothing,” Miko said quickly, smiling.

    Eyko chuckled. “We will have plenty of time to talk. And you can tell me who the father of my grandchildren is,” she said, patting Miko’s swollen middle as she led her inside.

    Miko could almost hear the Snarl snickering as she struggled to find a way to explain this without giving herself away. She cursed former life, as she had taken no levels in Bluff or any sort of deception…


  16. - Top - End - #1396
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Woooow. Awesome!
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
    Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  17. - Top - End - #1397
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by KnightMysterio View Post
    More of Order of the Stick: Knight of Destruction. The continuing tale of Miko and the Snarl...

    Spoiler
    Show

    Miko let her mother lead her into the temple, Windstriker being led off to the stables to be fed and groomed. Despite her growing panic at being discovered, she couldn’t help but smile at seeing old, familiar surroundings. Eyko kept talking, oblivious to her daughter’s discomfort.

    “You cannot imagine how good it was to see you again,” Eyko said, “When Gobbotopia was founded after Azure City fell, those wretched creatures sent envoys to try and win our loyalty. Naturally, we… politely declined and sent those insults to the noble Twelve Gods back in pieces. How could we ever support a race who gloated so openly about their conquest?”

    “Yes… Can’t trust hobgoblins, no ma’am,” Miko said. She looked into a training room as they passed, seeing several young men and women training to be monks.

    Eyko nodded. “Such wretched creatures… They claimed you were dead, but I prayed to the Twelve Gods daily… And praise be, they’ve brought you back to us!”

    Miko fumed inwardly. It wasn’t the Gods that brought me back, mother. They abandoned me! she thought, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

    “Oh my lovely Miko, it’s so good to have you home again! There’s some new epic level feats for monks that you can learn, that will perfectly compliment your paladin abilities,” Eyko said. She then paused. “Which reminds me… Miko, who is the father of your baby? Or babies, rather, if that belly size is any indication?”

    Miko paled a little. She had always been a terrible liar, her bluff checks so low they made dents in the floor. “Um…”

    Eyko smiled indulgently. “Is it a God? Have you become so enlightened that one of the noble Twelve Gods chose to mate with you?”

    Miko fought back the urge to gag at the very concept of a God touching her in that manner. “I… I assure you, mother, that a God had a great deal of involvement in my current condition,” she managed after a moment. Which was technically true, but not in the way Eyko’s joyous expression meant.

    She hugged Miko again, “Oh, that’s wonderful! That explains your appearance change so well,” she said, “Still, though… Violet and Indigo? Aren’t darker colors usually born from evil influences?”

    Miko coughed nervously, thought desperately for a moment, and eventually came up with something. “Ah, but in the current Green Lantern story arc, Violet and Indigo have been established as the colors of Love and Compassion respectively.”

    Eyko looked thoughtful for a moment, and nodded. “Makes perfect sense,” she said, “I shouldn’t judge by appearances anyway, I know better than that.”

    A flash of bitterness came through Miko. Thanks for teaching ME that, she grumbled inwardly. Still, though, she was grateful her deception worked. A natural 20 on my bluff check, whew… I feel a little stupid that I had to resort to a pop culture reference, but at least it worked…

    Eyko led Miko onward, telling her about what had happened since her last visit. After a while, Eyko mentioned something confusing, so much so that Miko felt compelled to ask. “Mother… You said three gates… Wasn’t the Azure City gate destroyed?”

    “Hm? Oh yes. Tragic, that. But apparently even goblins and hobgoblins have common sense. The rift over the city got too big, so they recreated the Azure Gate,” Eyko said. She scowled. “It was the only time we ever cooperated with those wretched creatures.”

    Miko frowned. Three gates now… That will make things complicated…

    Not if you butcher everyone in the former Azure City, the Snarl commented.

    Miko blinked. Master?

    The Snarl remained silent. Miko frowned. But she did have to admit, it was a good idea. And she was planning on doing that anyway. She giggled as fantasies of eviscerating Redcloak and grinding the lich into powder that she would sprinkle in her coffee. The fantasies expanded, including a rousing game of tetherball using Belkar’s intestines as the tether and his head as the ball…

    So lost in happy violent fantasies was she that she hadn’t realized where she was being led. When she realized that Eyko had stopped, she blinked. “Mother?”

    Eyko smiled, somewhat embarrassed. “Forgive me, but indulge your doting old mother. Just let the priests examine you, make sure that you and your young are all right.”

    Miko frowned, wondering what to do. But she felt a sense of assurance from the Snarl, and she nodded, smiling. Letting the aged priests lead her into the temple’s hospital, she stripped out of her armor until she was in her undergarments. She looked down at herself and realized that she did look quite pregnant.

    A side effect of having the Snarl’s power in me? There’s probably so much of it that my body had to expand SOMEWHERE just to contain it… she thought idly.

    Miko lay back on the couch, as a priest came over with a stethoscope to listen to her stomach, checking for the heartbeats of her babies.

    …Oh I can’t resist, the Snarl said in Miko’s mind as the stethoscope gently touched her belly.

    “Let’s see what we can hear, shall we?” the priest said, listening in.

    I like to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a, the Snarl sang. The priest jerked back up, confused.

    Miko giggled, despite herself. When the priest looked at her, she said, “It’s cold and you’re tickling me.”

    Frowning, the priest leaned in to listen again.

    This time, the Snarl sang, Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you!

    The priest jerked back up again. Miko giggled, blushing a little. This was too funny!

    Scowling now, the priest listened in again.

    The Snarl, still having fun, sang, And we were trying different things, and we were smoking funny things, making love out by the lake to our favorite song! Drinkin’ whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin’ ‘bout tomorrow, singin’ Sweet Home Alabama, all summer long!

    “That last one was kinda catchy,” the priest muttered, calling over his colleague, and asking him to listen in. This time, the Snarl just simulated the healthy heartbeats of three babies.

    The priest’s colleague glared at him. The first priest looked nervous. “There was singing! I swear it!”

    The second priest frowned. “Have you been in the medicinal whiskey again?”

    “NO! I swear! It was just the one time!” the first priest said, the second priest sighing in frustration. Miko giggled, thinking the whole thing hilarious.

    The rest of the examination proceeded normally, Miko being dressed in a robe before being let out. Eyko met her outside. “How do you feel, my dear?”

    Miko looked around the temple. It felt good to be here, true… But still, she didn’t feel quite comfortable here…

    After a long moment, Miko smiled weakly and settled on saying “Nostalgic.”

    Eyko hugged her daughter again, and walked around with her some more, the two of them chatting happily. Miko made up a story about having a vision and going off on a quest, expressing her ‘regret’ that she was not there to help save Azure City, but describing a fairly decent fake adventure of enlightenment that culminated in her being visited by Tiger and mating with him, resulting in her current condition. (She almost said Horse, but she remembered too well her time in Hell and the thought of that just made her shudder.)

    Eventually, after having dinner together, Miko was led to her old room in the temple. It still had all of her old things in it, the few material possessions that Monks were allowed, her armor laying in one corner of the room. Eyko bid her daughter good night, hugging and kissing her once more, leaving Miko alone.

    Miko sat on her bed, picking up the small white, horse plush and hugging it. She smiled briefly, remembering the comfort she received when she was younger just from holding it, her joy at seeing her favorite toy seemingly come to life when she first met Windstriker.

    …Windstriker…

    She felt she had shown him little in the way of appreciation in the last few years of her life. So dedicated to the life of a paladin was she that she had missed out on so much. He had never left her side, even after being turned into a fel beast.

    She looked up, seeing a small golden shrine to the Twelve Gods mounted on the table. Scowling, she reached out and grabbed it, heat radiating from her hand and melting the shrine into slag. With an angry toss, she threw it out the window.

    Feeling better for venting her frustration, she lay back in her bed, slightly small for her now, but big for her when she was younger, and drifted off to sleep, a single thought in her head as she tightly clutched her horse plush.

    This is no longer my home…

    This is a good story line you got a good hold of.
    'Hugs to everyone that wants it.'
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  18. - Top - End - #1398
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    *Hugs to Coffee and Water-smurf*

    Congrats KnightMysterio on another awesome chapter.

    Ok, it’s time that I started my promised Miko/Sangwaan fic. Thank you to those who posted suggestions as well as to Raging Gene Ray who PM’d me some ideas that I am totally yoinking.

    With that, here is part one of “More than Just Duty”:

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    Finally the will of the gods has become clear to me. Lord Shojo has asked me to join the Sapphire guard and my training is now complete. I shall fulfill my destiny and serve the forces of good. Lord Shojo has brought me to meet the other members of the guard. I hope that they are as dedicated to their duties to the Twelve as I am. There are so many people here. The monastery was never this crowded. I wonder if Lord Hinjo is up to performing his duties to the Guard along with those of an heir. Yet with all these people, there is one whom demands my attention. I find myself fascinated by her...and...dare I think it…attracted. Is it appropriate for a paladin to think such things of a colleague? I wonder why she wears that blindfold. Lord Shojo’s cat ordered me to “get to know” the other members of the guard. I’ve already been introduced to O-Chul, but perhaps I should introduce myself to this intriguing woman.

    “Greetings, I am…”
    “Miko Miyazaki.” she interrupted, “I am glad to finally meet you in the physical world. My name is Sangwaan. To answer the questions that you were considering asking me, I wear this blindfold as I am blind and prefer to cover my eyes. I also happen to be a diviner which is how I knew who you are and what you wanted to say. I have already requested that Lord Shojo assign you as my partner as I believe that we will work well together.” I am astounded. Truly the gods must be on our side to provide us with such a potent source of intelligence gathering. It appears that this individual is more than a pretty face. Knowledge is certainly useful in purging the world of evil. This is why the gods give us paladins the ability to detect evil. “I am flattered by your trust in my abilities.” I say politely, “All my successes are gifts from the gods.”

    I have been summoned to appear before Lord Shojo. “Miko,” he says, “it is time for your first mission. Mr. Scruffy has assigned you Sangwaan as a partner at her request. I want you to listen to her. She is wise and talented in mission planning. She has already been briefed. I want you to meet her in her room to discuss her plans.”
    “Your will is my own, Lord Shojo” I answer.

    “So that’s the plan.” finishes Sangwaan. Being with her in her room is making me feel rather flustered. I must concentrate on the plan. That is what is important here. Lord Shojo was right about Sangwaan’s talent in planning missions. Not that I ever doubted the word of our rightful lord appointed by the gods themselves. Sangwaan has thought this out very well and it is clear where her loyalties lie. Her concern for the mission is inspiring and motivates me further. I do not simply want to impress her. This is the will of the gods. “You have placed a lot of care and thought into this plan.” I say attempting to compliment her, “By the will of the Twelve gods, we shall be victorious!”


    Part 2 coming when I have a bit more time (probably in a week).

    Also I saw on the Fanservice thread that Raging Gene Ray expressed interest in some Niu/Thanh, well I’ll work on that as well.

  19. - Top - End - #1399
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Otiluke's Resiliant Sphere, most likely. A decent caster can simply Dim Door out of it, though.
    You sure V knows that one? Besides, in my mind,
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    A smart Xykon would confiscate V's spellbook. That way, even if the spell is in there, she would be unable to access it.
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    ...I feel ignored.

  20. - Top - End - #1400
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    One-sided lust/hate relationship?
    I'm not even sure lust is the best description. More like boredom and amused interest, at least initially.

    But the hate on V's side is a sure thing.

    And how would they realize what state her trust was in? Obviously, they don't expect her to immediately completely trust them with her life and love them, but how would they figure out that there's actually something holding her back...?
    Reddy's going to notice that Tiasal and Xykon spend a lot of time together, and he's going to want to find out why.

    *dies* *twitches*
    Someone call a cleric!!

    I feel like I'm trying to get a fix.
    Next comes the Crack Pairings rehab group.

    She has spark, and the same fire that made the darker, more subversive Redcloak fall in love with her is the fire that would attract Xykon like a moth. Of course, Vaarsuvius would never reciprocate Xykon's respect or attraction, but I don't see that concerning him too much...
    I now have the mental image of Xykon acting... well, not being nice exactly, but just trying to have a casual conversation with her. And becomming very amused when V squirms and starts getting defensive and agressive over even the smallest thing.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-02-05 at 10:38 AM.
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  21. - Top - End - #1401
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    *crawls slowly to people offering hugs* *hugs back* *curls up into ball and goes into a corner*

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    I can easily see him do it just to torment Redcloak.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I can easily see him do it just to creep out V.
    I can easily see him do it just to do both.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I'm not even sure lust is the best description. More like boredom and amused interest, at least initially.

    But the hate on V's side is a sure thing.
    Lust probably isn't the best word, but I could see Xykon developing some sort of physical attraction. It's like a little kid watching a candle--you mess with the flame, pass your finger through it, blow it gently to see it dance, then try to put it out just to prove you can. Only when it comes to primal psyche and attraction, it often boils down to sexuality and control. He could potentially see Vaarsuvius as that candle flame.

    Reddy's going to notice that Tiasal and Xykon spend a lot of time together, and he's going to want to find out why.
    But who would share that information?

    I now have the mental image of Xykon acting... well, not being nice exactly, but just trying to have a casual conversation with her. And becomming very amused when V squirms and starts getting defensive and agressive over even the smallest thing.
    I can see him casually flirting with her, and getting really amused when she and Reddy get all flustered.

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  22. - Top - End - #1402
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    tongue Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    XD
    I totally want to support XykonV.
    How long til there's crack fanfiction of the crack fanfic?

    Who called for a cleric? I'm a level <9000 cleric! (I'm two timing by deity. But with about 100 instead of two.)
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  23. - Top - End - #1403
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    He could potentially see Vaarsuvius as that candle flame.
    Exactly. And the more V tries to rebuke him, the more fun he'd get from teasing her.

    But who would share that information?
    If they're not careful he could overhear Tia and Xykon talking. Or Tsukiko might let something slip, either by accident or on purpose out of jelousy at how much of Xykon's attention Tia is taking up. Or Reddy could pick up enough clues while he's talking to Tia.


    I can see him casually flirting with her, and getting really amused when she and Reddy get all flustered.
    Reddy would get all defensive and protective.

    And they'd both get a little scared.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    How long til there's crack fanfiction of the crack fanfic?
    I think ther already is, somewhere.
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  24. - Top - End - #1404
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Exactly. And the more V tries to rebuke him, the more fun he'd get from teasing her.
    How far would his teasing go? Flirting? Jokes? Touches? I don't see Xykon having much reservations if he could get a funny reaction from the 'flame'.

    If they're not careful he could overhear Tia and Xykon talking. Or Tsukiko might let something slip, either by accident or on purpose out of jelousy at how much of Xykon's attention Tia is taking up. Or Reddy could pick up enough clues while he's talking to Tia.
    Hmmm... Interesting...

    Reddy would get all defensive and protective.

    And they'd both get a little scared.
    I'm not sure how Redcloak would respond. He'd probably tell Xykon to back off from his wife, but he can't exactly make him stop--he still has Tiasal and he's still freakishly high-powered.

    I think there already is, somewhere.
    Oh yeah, speaking of which...

    I said I'd copy and paste this conversation I had on DA.

    ~SulZala
    Hrm....
    If you do another few endings, we could make this into a fan-game where you control the chars and their decisions lead to different endings. Like in Higurashi no Naku Koro ni and those other earn-your-happy-ending-games.


    ~Water-Smurf
    That'd be fun! ^.^ But how would we do that?

    ~SulZala
    Hm, For that we need several storylines that diverge at different points in the story depending on actions of the persons and the results of those. For that, I'd suppose a few more writers, because even 8 ends is helluva lot of work considering the two alternate endings you provided are just epilogues and not what else happened in between. Then we need a few good artists that illustrate the events and someone that puts everything together. If we could get a year free from work and school and got together somewhere nice, preferably our Thread/Club House because we've got everything there we could maybe get it done until the end of the year or even sooner. The problem is, we could probably not even get one week of holidays at the same time >_<" Considering that I tend to procrastinate everything until sometimes much too late...
    But in the essence:
    1) Decide on how many and which endings we gonna have
    2) Write new endings and attach the epilogues to the story
    3) Draw everything (Overlaps with 2 in terms of time)
    4) Code everything
    5) Alphatest it
    6) Betatest it
    7) "Publish" it

    ~Water-Smurf
    That'd be really cool! How do we get this moving?

    SulZala
    No idea... Post this little conversation in the OotS-Forum? I'll join when I've got my theory exam for my driving license. And whenever I don't have a school exam in the next two days. Which will be in my holidays... >_<"
    I can't promise anything But at its latest I'll be available from middle 2011 *drop*

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  25. - Top - End - #1405
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    *crawls slowly to people offering hugs* *hugs back* *curls up into ball and goes into a corner*
    Zanaril, I think she might need some of your *special* drinks.

    And for the record, I'm doing pretty well. My cat is upset becaue the neighbor's cat is walking about on my balcony, and my cat is too scared noble to do anything about it, but otherwise...
    Last edited by Asta Kask; 2010-02-05 at 11:47 AM.
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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  26. - Top - End - #1406
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Zanaril, I think she might need some of your *special* drinks.

    And for the record, I'm doing pretty well. My cat is upset becaue the neighbor's cat is walking about on my balcony, and my cat is too scared noble to do anything about it, but otherwise...
    Gotta be nice.
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
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  27. - Top - End - #1407
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Patience young Padawan.

    No... wait. Jedi aren't allowed to love...

    Ok, nevermind then.
    I wanted to say that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Someone call a cleric!!


    Next comes the Crack Pairings rehab group.
    You called? *sees the situation*

    Not again!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Zanaril, I think she might need some of your *special* drinks.
    No. Water-Smurf does not need another round of healing from me.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

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  28. - Top - End - #1408
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    That would be awesome, the interactive thingy. I'd help, if i could.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  29. - Top - End - #1409
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Zanaril, I think she might need some of your *special* drinks.
    No, not that type of love.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    I don't see Xykon having much reservations if he could get a funny reaction from the 'flame'.
    The one thing that might make him stop and think would be how much control he had of Reddy at that time. Apart from that, it would depend on what he felt like doing and what he thought would get the reaction he wanted.

    I'm not sure how Redcloak would respond. He'd probably tell Xykon to back off from his wife, but he can't exactly make him stop--he still has Tiasal and he's still freakishly high-powered.
    Which is why they'd be scared; they wouldn't know whether Xykon was just playing around, or whether he was serious. And if it turned out to be the latter, what would they do?

    Oh yeah, speaking of which...

    I said I'd copy and paste this conversation I had on DA.
    Great idea. That way, if you have multiple ideas you wont have to limit yourself to picking just one

    If there's anything I can do to help...
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2010-02-05 at 12:09 PM.
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  30. - Top - End - #1410
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    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    I can see him casually flirting with her, and getting really amused when she and Reddy get all flustered.
    Remember that Xykon probably ha a Charisma score in the 30s. If he wants to be charming, he can be.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    *Sigh* B still doesn't know. He's never received any romantic advances before and he's got a lot of schoolwork too.

    I got the sense that he's waiting a few months for junior year to wind down before doing anything. Which I understand, but my hyperactivity...Gaah.
    No worries. Based on Plato's idea that opposites should marry, we're looking for a sedate basketball player for you.
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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