Kicked in the Groin (and you're to blame)

[Hallavast]

Good evening, folks. I've very recently been kicked in the groin. It's happened to me a fair few times in my life (often for no good reason), and I've noticed two distinct patterns in the people who decide to kick me there. The first, is that they are all women. The second is that they all laugh afterwards.

My latest groin kicking experience happened by accident (at least in part). I won't go into the details of how it happened but, sure enough, the woman who delivered the killing blow stepped over my prone, broken body and walked away laughing without a word of appology.

It seems that some women take perverse pleasure in kicking men in that area. Why is this? I tried to explain to a few women that getting kicked there is a pain that no one should have to bear, and the fact that they will never know what getting kicked in the testicles feels like only adds insult to injury.

I don't hear about men laughing at women who are in labor. So why the hurtful giggles? I'm not saying that only women laugh at men in this situation. But I've never seen a guy laughing at another guy whom they have kicked in the balls.

If you are a woman who does this, please explain why.

If you are a guy who has had this happen to you, please express any concern you have here.

Thanks

[Pyro]

One of my male friends likes to kick me and some other kids in the crotch for laughs. I usually giggle when other guys get kicked in the crotch, but then I ask if they're ok or not. Its pretty funny, but its also pretty icy to just walk away.

[BanjoTheClown]

Its funny to see someone get Kicked in the uh.. Groin. But it hurts like a b****!

[Jack Squat]

have you thought about wearing a cup?

[RandomNPC]

you may not be able to one shot them as much pain, and i do not promote hitting a lady. but there is a thin line between a lady and someone who just doesn't have guy parts.

and there are people who see that line and cross it at full sprint.

the last time i was threatened with a kick to the gems my rather serious threat to rip the offending persons arm off and beat them with it earned me a "never hit a lady" reply, and i came back with something along the lines of what i said above.

BTW if they initiate violence you are legally allowed to defend yourself... atleast here in the states. defend yourself means fight till they run away, after that its revenge.

my thoughts are a bit disorganized here, sorry, its kinda late.

remember, if they have to remind you they're a lady, they probably aren't

[Midnight Son]

Groin shots are only ever funny if it's on accident and the causing person is not intending malice. That is to say, if you're in a fight and you go for the leg and accidentally hit the groin, it's not funny. On the other hand, if a couple friends are just messing around and one gets a nad shot, I'll be laughing my ass off even as I wince in sympathy.

[SurlySeraph]

If you're not in too much pain to respond, punch her in the breast. I'm told that that's almost as bad, though the girl who told me this can't even begin to imagine exactly how bad a groin kick is. In my experience, girls kick guys in the groin for one of three reasons
1). They're either violent or evil, and either way they're amused by watching you suffer. If they're violent, they kicked you because they enjoy fighting and wanted an actual friendly fight, not to lay you out with one hit. If they're evil, well, they're evil.
2) You pissed them off without realizing it, and whatever you did was bad enough in her opinion to merit a groin kick. This is probably the most common reason, because some girls get offended by damn near everything, and most girls don't realize exactly how horrible a thing they're doing by groin-kicking someone.
3) As a form of flirting. Seriously. But not many girls do this, and don't act like you think she was flirting with you because if she wasn't she may follow up with a stomp.

Of course, I freely admit that I don't understand girls very well, so I defer to any members of that gender who care to comment.

[Lemur]

I've never had a problem with people, male or female, intentionally trying to kick me in the groin. Maybe I don't spend enough time with the kind of people who would try (or maybe people find me unnerving, which would just be crazy. I'm normal I tell ya! Normal!)

I have sustained numerous close scrapes while doing activities like fencing or larping, but I don't think I've ever got a direct hit. Not the kind that would make me double over or collapse, in any case. I have accidently hit others in the crotch while doing such activities however, which can be a bit awkward.

[Em Blackleaf]

If you're not in too much pain to respond, punch her in the breast. I'm told that that's almost as bad...

Though I have no idea how much it hurts to get kicked in the balls (well, of course I don't), it certainly does hurt to get punched in the breast.

As for kicking guys in the balls... I don't do that.
It's wrong, and I think I know that because I've grown up with two brothers, who have told me how wrong it is.

[HydwenPrydain]

Kicked in the Groin, and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

did i do this rite?

[Crispy Dave]

heres advice if your like me dont even bother with girls because most you meet are just retarted and you will end up getting kicked in the balls one way or another

[Midnight Son]

Though I have no idea how much it hurts to get kicked in the balls (well, of course I don't), it certainly does hurt to get punched in the breast.

As for kicking guys in the balls... I don't do that.
It's wrong, and I think I know that because I've grown up with two brothers, who have told me how wrong it is.

Ahh, little sisters...I was so glad when my sister reached 4 feet tall. Since then her punches haven't hurt quite as much.

[AslanCross]

Thankfully I've never been kicked or otherwise hit in the groin deliberately. I'd probably immediately demand an explanation if a girl did critical hit me, though I don't think anyone I know would do it for giggles.

[Hallavast]

Kicked in the Groin, and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

did i do this rite?

yeah. that's the idea i was going for.

[Penguinizer]

You know, I've got good reflexes, so I in sports usually manage to block the groin shot. Usually it comes from a football or floorball ball though, so it can be to block...

Wear a cup.

[Dr._Weird]

heres advice if your like me dont even bother with girls because most you meet are just retarted and you will end up getting kicked in the balls one way or another

Spell retarded and other words in your sentence right if you're going to call someone stupid.

[Brickwall]

I tried to explain to a few women that getting kicked there is a pain that no one should have to bear, and the fact that they will never know what getting kicked in the testicles feels like only adds insult to injury.

What too few men know is that women share this vulnerability. It's less likely to happen on accident, but a full-force, intentional groin blow is a debilitating attack on either gender (though I've at least heard of guys getting through it just fine). So if you could kick them in their family jewels (kept away in a better jewel case, as previously stated, though), they'd know. Of course, with society's wonderful double standards, it's considered horrible and sick to even slap a woman in the face if you're a guy, much less actually attack her, no matter what she's doing. And that will carry over into whatever courts. It's a worldwide double standard, and we're stuck with it forever. Blame our forefathers.

Of course, wearing a cup and taking self-defense lessons will decrease damage and the chances of them landing the hit, respectively (I'm repeating Penguinizer's advice here, basically). Also, can't hurt to just not let them get near you if you're suspicious. In fact, the type of person who does this should be forever ostracized if you can help it. Never give them the pleasure of your company again. They don't deserve it.

[Totally Guy]

Spell retarded and other words in your sentence right if you're going to call someone stupid.

Maybe he thought there was an offensive word filter up. I mean, as words go that one's pretty much the top one.

[Lucky]

Maybe he thought there was an offensive word filter up. I mean, as words go that one's pretty much the top one.

No where close, actually. By the quality of the rest of his post, as well as the maturity of it, I'm quite sure he mispelt it.

[Saithis Bladewing]

Personally I've never found a groin shot funny. If I were doing it deliberately, I wouldn't laugh, because I wouldn't find that situation funny in the slightest, it'd just be me taking advantage of a weakness. If I somehow lost a good 8-10 points of dex and did it accidentally because I turned into a clumsy freak, I wouldn't find it funny, I'd be frustrated with myself for sucking so much.

[PlatinumJester]

My friend was trying to splash me with pepsi so I tried to boot him in the stomach. Unfortunatly my school trousers could only reach so high withour ripping so I undershot and hit him right in the nuts. That was quite funny afterwards but at the time he was pretty pissed off.

My friend once punched me in the nuts in a DnD session which hurt like hell.

[evisiron]

Worst I have ever seen was at LARP practise. A guy got knocked on his back by some spell effect, and lay there (pretty sure it was Sleep). His team keeps fighing, but eventually got pushed back. Neither the people walking backwards or guy on floor paying attention.

And the guy walking backwards stood on them. I don't mean 'stepping onto his groin', I mean 'they were caught between boot and hard wooden floor'.

Of course, the yell of pain brought everything to a halt. As nasty as this was, he was later checked out by a doctor and declared okay!

[Miklus]

Of course, with society's wonderful double standards, it's considered horrible and sick to even slap a woman in the face if you're a guy, much less actually attack her, no matter what she's doing. And that will carry over into whatever courts. It's a worldwide double standard, and we're stuck with it forever. Blame our forefathers.

I disagree! Slapping someone is much less likely to get you into trouble with the law (as opposed to a punch):

Woman: Your honor, he punched me *sob* <points finger at you>
Judge: That's horrible! 24 months in Bugger Hills maximum security prison!

Woman: Your honor, he slapped me *sob* <points finger at you>
Judge: That's horrible! Why would he do such a thing?
Woman: I...um...kicked him in the nuts...?
Judge: ....case dismissed!

[Wraithy]

Thankfully I've never had too much trouble with these sorts of things, and thank goodness I haven't because I'm vulnerable to the following
the reason I've never had trouble with this is that I learned pidgeon toed stance in karate very quickly, as well as the downward block, thank pelor for karate

[bosssmiley]

+1 to what Penguinizer and Bricky said above. Martial Arts mate. If this girl (or anyone else) tries to groin-shot stunt again you'll be in a position to physically illustrate to them the sort of pain they've just tried to inflict on you.

*Hold, twist, jab*
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Leggo, leggo, leggo! It huuuuuuuuuurts!"
"Not nice, is it? Being kicked in the gobblewhompers hurts 10 times as much. Wanna feel what that's like? No? Ok. I'm glad we could have this chat..."

Lessons learned hard stay learned.

As for why women do it. Because they can.
A residual sense of societal chivalry ("You don't hit girls") allows them this entitlement. But then, give anyone license and - unless they're a saint - they'll take it as far as they can.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I've been kicked numerous times, but so far always by accident, such as during soccer.

Anyone who does it on purpose needs kicked in the head. Though I like to think of myself as a gentleman and have never hit anyone, especially a woman, anyone who comes over and does that on purpose, regardless of gender, is likely to find themselves missing a few teeth. Once a woman attacks you she loses the protection granted by chivalry.

It is nothing less than an assault, and though not life threatening, it can easily cause long-term damage in many ways.

Thing is, most women seem not to understand that it is quite agonizing. My eldest sister for instance thinks men are just exaggerating. She's been kicked in the groin area before (don't ask me why) and she says it hurts no matter what gender you are. So because of this she just assumes men are being wimps. Granted, I've never gone rolling about on the ground from the blows like you see on America's Funniest Home Videos, but I assured her its far worse for guys.

This rant brought to you by someone who kicks back

[Were-Sandwich]

Whenever I get full bore kicked in the balls, my body acts without consulting my brain and causes extreme pain to the person who did so. Its a useful reaction. Still hurts more than anything else imaginable. Seriously, you'd think after however many thousand years of getting kicked in the crotch, we'd have evolved internal testicles by now.

Whilst I have some compunctions about hitting girls, I have less than some people I know. I once kicked a 10 year old kid in the crotch once, semi-accidentally. I was 'mentoring' at some waste-of-time summer school, at my parents behest...

*I am listening to my MP3 player whilst 'supervising'*
Him: So, what you listening to?
Me: Burn Baby Burn, by Ash, why?
Him: Is that rock?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Rock's crap. Its all *proceeds to growl loudly whilst imitating a rocking-out guitarist)
Me: Oh, so what do you like then, Mr Connoisseur?
Him: 50 Cent, Akon, you know, good music*
Me:

*A long arguement insues, in which he basically spits on all my values, and brigs into question why he's at a Gifted and Talented summer school. I rapidly lose patience, and mentally decide "Screw this moral high ground crap*

Me: Get back to work, or I'll be forced to beat the crap out of you
Him: Come on then, puff
Me: *Feint kicks him*
Him: You wouldn't really kick me
Me: O rly? *Ka-pow*

later on

Me: *Is fixing PC*
Teacher: This kid says you kicked him
Me: Yeah, I did
Teacher: Well,he sa-what?
Me: Yeah, I kicked him
Teacher: *non-plussed*Well...don't. *walks away*

You had to be there.

*this is the kind of music I hate most in the world, for reasons that I won't go into.

[AtomicKitKat]

Yeah, a girl(probably) I knew once claimed to have been(might have said it was her twin sister) kicked from behind by a guy who went off laughing because "it shouldn't hurt as much". I vaguely remember something about loss of bladder control and whatnot.

Were: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Wouldn't it have been easier to just make them more resistant to heat?"

Oh yes, anyone who tries it on me would get the same right back.

As far as the pain goes? It's like getting punched in the stomach after you've had lots of dairy products with semi-cooked seafood. And spice.

[Cruxador]

I've been kicked in the groin on occasion before, but I've usually been able to soften the blows or avoid them all together (I have good reflexes) and since I can kind of turn off pain anyways, that just leaves the sick feeling to contend with, and I certainly have to sit down (assuming I don't get a full-on blow, I can't ignore that much pain).
Last time it happened to me was actually a guy. Of course, I had compared him to British people first, but I was mostly just making a joke, and he caught me off guard because I was only half through with the punchline when he kicked. (Otherwise I could have dodged it).
There was a girl present though, and she laughed.

And atomic kitkat? that doesn't begin to cover it.

[....]

This seems appropriate.