All right, I think this thread could use a little more sheer silliness, so I've decided to start on a pairing that will crack everyone up!
EDIT: I'd like to say that this is not my best writing, just something random. I didn't even really check it over.
Horrible puns aside:
Spoiler
(Present Day)
Belkar was in the dungeon in which Girard's Gate was believed to be kept. It had been several hours before that the party had split up.
As they had entered the dungeon, Elan had predicted that everyone would have to face the thing they loved most, as well as what they feared most. If it was true, nothing had happened yet. Nonetheless, the idea of facing his fears scared him. This was because he didn't know what he was afraid of. Sure, he'd always told everyone that he was fearless and that he was the 'sexy shoeless god of war.' But really, deep down, he didn't think he was fearless. He was afraid of the idea that there were things he didn't know about to fear. As this reality dawned on him -
"Meow," Mr. Scruffy purred loudly. It shattered his thoughts and he came back to the reality of the chilly sandstone caves.
"Once I think of someone to blame for all this sudden thought, there'll be hell to pay..." He muttered.
"MREOW!" Mr. Scruffy jumped out of his arms (actually, Belkar didn't remember how the scruffster had gotten into his arms at all... Odd) and ran off into the caves.
-----
(Maybe a day or so into the past)
"You really got it reset? Do you have any idea how much that's going to set us back?"
"Of course. Still, if I get half the laughs I'd gotten out of it before, it's totally worth it."
Redcloak and Xykon had found the locations of all of the gates in Serini's diary after O-Chul escaped, and now were outside the dungeon, planning their entrance. They'd decided to make things tough for the Order by sticking in a few little surprises, one of which was the dreaded trap that they'd used back in Dorukan's dungeon.
"So... Are you just going to go set it up and leave it for them to trigger?"
"Yep."
"Sir, I don't think we have time for this."
"Redcloak, I'm an epic-leveled sorcerer. I can make time. Besides, all I have to do is teleport it into place. Not that hard."
Redcloak sighed. "All right, sir. Let's get going."
-----
(Present day)
"MR. SCRUFFY! NO!" Belkar cried out. The little cat had scampered off, and Belkar finally realized what he feared:
Being alone in a location in which he know nothing about. No, there were no human guards that he could kill in gruesome (albeit comedic) ways, no 2 ton anvils attached to the ceiling, no lever to unleash the cougar.
He was alone.
V's scream echoing off the cavern walls didn't help much either.
-----
Mr. Scruffy was off into the labyrinthine darkness which would have confused any but the most perceptive human. Or elf. Or halfling. Dwarves would probably be fine, though.
Suddenly, his paw landed a little bit further down into the rock than it had for all of the other steps. He froze.
At this point I should probably explain that Mr. Scruffy is actually an intelligent being. He, like Shojo, faked pure idiocy. When Belkar (who he felt much more intelligent then, but kept around for the lulz) had said it was time to go kick ass, he had performed the standard cat response for a reason: He was laughing.
Thus, the adorable little kitty saw the monstrous trap that laid out before him. He saw the scythes and the poison, the fire ants...
And for once in his life, he felt true love.
This wicked mechanism truly understood him. He wanted to trigger the trap and feel the wonderful burn of the ant's bites, to lose all motion from the poisons and succumb to the will of the scythes. He knew it wouldn't kill him, it too loved him.
He triggered the trap, and for once felt true bliss.
So yeah, it's in the same place and same time as Water-Smurf's story... But if anything here disagrees with what she writes, just say that this is an alternate reality or something.
Also, if you noticed the Monty Python reference, kudos. And cookies. Kudo-flavored cookies. (I have no idea what a congratulation tastes like, but still.)
__________________
Spoiler
Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Also, if you noticed the Monty Python reference, kudos. And cookies. Kudo-flavored cookies. (I have no idea what a congratulation tastes like, but still.)
Wow. Never thought I'd say this, but poor Belkar. *flees country, lest I incur Cracklord's wrath by remaining on the same hemisphere*
Actually, after rereading that, I just realized that it's really not that silly. It didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to. Ah well. It was fun to write.
__________________
Spoiler
Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Wowee! I go to the county swim meet and I come back to see all this cool stuff! Great job guys!
__________________
Spoiler
As I was getting off the bus with the rest of the swim team to an away meet
Kid: Are you guys on the swim team?
Me: ...Let's see, there's about 20 girls, all with swimsuits, towels, swim caps, goggles, and wearing jackets that say *Name of School* Swim team on them...We're on the soccer team.
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 11-06-2009 at 10:22 PM.
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*Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
My OotS fanart thread: click here for proof that I have no life. Or, if you're debating with me and need fuel for an ad hominem, click for proof that I AM hopelessly fixated on Vaarsuvius.:)
Spliced!Kyrie avatar by Zanaril. Who else?
Trophies:
__________________
*Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
My OotS fanart thread: click here for proof that I have no life. Or, if you're debating with me and need fuel for an ad hominem, click for proof that I AM hopelessly fixated on Vaarsuvius.:)
Spliced!Kyrie avatar by Zanaril. Who else?
Trophies:
I like all of these ideas for categories! I'd also suggest a Most Unusual Pairing for all the people who've been doing such a great job writing uber-squick, and a Best Minor Character/Minor Character award, for all the people who've been having fun playing around the edges of the canon - perhaps with 'minor character' being defined as 'has appeared in less than 10 strips', or something similar.
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Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
Although I did consider using it because of how pretty it is... (and because it has V in it)
Quote:
Originally Posted by esmerelder
I like all of these ideas for categories! I'd also suggest a Most Unusual Pairing for all the people who've been doing such a great job writing uber-squick, and a Best Minor Character/Minor Character award, for all the people who've been having fun playing around the edges of the canon - perhaps with 'minor character' being defined as 'has appeared in less than 10 strips', or something similar.
Aandy is probably the biggest contender for Best Minor Character. Has he even been in the comic apart from when he's being referenced by other characters?
__________________
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frogwarrior
your avatar makes me weep with both laughter and horror.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker
Your avatar is creepy. Doesn't make someone a wimp to say it... It's just a creepy image.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herald Alberich
Dude, it implies that Epic-V Charmed/Dominated Kyrie into taking him back! Brainwashing and sexual slavery are creepy.
Edit: Not that it isn't funny, because it is. But it's also creepy.
I can't really do anything but observe anymore (and I have to do that secretly.) See, my mom doesn't actually know that I'm on this thread... so now I have to be secretive. (Not that I wasn't before...)
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Thanks to Qwernt for the awesome avatar!!
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
"tics" meaning "little insects"
I can't really do anything but observe anymore (and I have to do that secretly.) See, my mom doesn't actually know that I'm on this thread... so now I have to be secretive. (Not that I wasn't before...)
My parents don't either. It's not the kind of thing you advertise.
Although I doubt they'd care. My younger brother has been caught looking at worse things without anything more than a metaphorical slap on the wrist...
__________________
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frogwarrior
your avatar makes me weep with both laughter and horror.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker
Your avatar is creepy. Doesn't make someone a wimp to say it... It's just a creepy image.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herald Alberich
Dude, it implies that Epic-V Charmed/Dominated Kyrie into taking him back! Brainwashing and sexual slavery are creepy.
Edit: Not that it isn't funny, because it is. But it's also creepy.
Sure, Discord. It's kind of what it's there for. ^^; And I was totally hoping that you of all people would take the bait.
Thanks! You have no idea how happy you made me. :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanaril
Are you talking about Haley/V or Belkar/V?
Haley x V. I loathe Belkar x V with a passion.
Now that I've had time to read... Water-Smurf, I'm glad of Aarindarius' inclusion in the story. The endless illusions and suffering were getting really repetitive (not to mention too creepy for my own taste).
My parents don't either. It's not the kind of thing you advertise.
Although I doubt they'd care. My younger brother has been caught looking at worse things without anything more than a metaphorical slap on the wrist...
I'm the oldest. They care about it when I say "Shut Up." even when my brother is yelling at me.
__________________
Thanks to Qwernt for the awesome avatar!!
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
"tics" meaning "little insects"
I can't really do anything but observe anymore (and I have to do that secretly.) See, my mom doesn't actually know that I'm on this thread... so now I have to be secretive. (Not that I wasn't before...)
Thanks! You have no idea how happy you made me. :D
Oh, I'm just a service provider. :D
*Although, as service provider, I would be remiss not to mention the infernal debts you have just incurred with the use of that banner... :)
__________________
*Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
My OotS fanart thread: click here for proof that I have no life. Or, if you're debating with me and need fuel for an ad hominem, click for proof that I AM hopelessly fixated on Vaarsuvius.:)
Spliced!Kyrie avatar by Zanaril. Who else?
Trophies:
I get what you're saying. If my brothers found out that I read, let alone contributed to, this thread, they would be making fun off me until the day I died. Seriously, if they found out, they will sneak a mention of it into any speeches they give if/when I get married.
If I can suggest my own pairing, Spongebob x O-Chul could be a contender for Most Unusual Pairing (so long as it only judges the pairing itself; none of the writing I've done here has been very good.)
__________________
Spoiler
Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
fanclub!!!
so now I have to be secretive. (Not that I wasn't before...)
