[FWM] One Life to Pony: MLP Without the Kiddy Thread 8

[Mindfreak]

"She probably wasn't pulling your hoof. That probably is what she saw with her divination. Out of curiosity, Zach, have you ever had a Divination cast for you before?" Soft asks him.

Zach
"Yeah, I had a few divinations done back when I still lead Celestia's Resistance. They all turned out wrong though, because the pony doing them wanted to control me."
He heartily took a gulp from his ale.

[Orzel]

"I..yes...we have a customer who wants the.....her words...not mine 'sluttiest more whorish garments' we have...and her in them....as I...take a uh picture of her..wearing them..." He was blushing so hard it was amazing his whole body didn't go numb from all the blood being in his face. Sweet Victory's sultry voice did not help matters either. Well. Sweet Victory in general.

"Hmmm." Being a bit of a seductress herself aided Sweet Victory at this job. She scanned the mannequins of black silks and synthetics. "Black or red. Black. Takes this corset, panties, stockings, gloves, and garter for the Dirty Darling collection. Make sure you don't let her tail cover any of it in the photo. Keep her legs in a manner with the kissing lips design is visible in the sheer fabric. You'll probably have to adjust it manually while she is wearing. Oh as she wants to be very slutty, more is more."

The mare leaps in a trunk on the floor. Her butt just sticking in the air. She emerges shortly afterward. "A petticoat and semi-transparent robe. Wearing these and there would be no surprise what she wants." The curvy pony hoofs over the items and a small camera "Have fun. Tehehe."

Still rather irate from all the... all the stuff going on, the griffon doesn't really back down. He doesn't back off but rather continues, oblivious to any potential rioters approaching.

"So you're saying I should drag all of you in to sort it out?"

Lochbed coughs and rubs her eyes. This whole experience has been confusing."No Mr. Eaglelion, Ah don't have time for sorting. Ah have to git back to mah coltfriend right away."

Astra looks to the pony and shakes her head. Nope. Just got here. I'm just as lost as you are.

Grills poofs next to Astra. "Somepony is getting arrested." He turns around and offers a hoof for a shake. "Name is Grills. What is yours?"

[Mystic Muse]

Zach
"Yeah, I had a few divinations done back when I still lead Celestia's Resistance. They all turned out wrong though, because the pony doing them wanted to control me."
He heartily took a gulp from his ale.

"Divination is inaccurate at the best of times, and outright false at the worst. That combined with the fact that she only began practicing using divination a week ago or so, means that she probably told you exactly what she saw, it's just that what she saw was probably wrong, or only true in a different universe entirely. I suggest ignoring her and just doing what you would have done before. Though, I suspect the still being mad about trying to kill you thing is still in effect." Soft elaborates.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Grills poofs next to Astra. "Somepony is getting arrested." He turns around and offers a hoof for a shake. "Name is Grills. What is yours?"

Astra hesitates for a moment, then takes the offered hoof in hers. Astra. Astra Flora.

She nods towards the officers. So...what happened?

[Grif]

Hay Bale's face showed her very, VERY clear disbelief mixed with shock. but... Wha... you... If...

Oh **** IT SIDEWAYS WITH A POLEAXE! You ponies are crazier than home!! She let go and went back to her donut.

What are you talking about?! You were sitting right there the whole bloody time!!

"Sitting right—" Her eyes narrowed. "Of course. Why would I not be?"

"Please back away sir, this will all be over in a bit," One of them says to Grills. And now Benson waits for Grif, HalfTangible, and KerfuffleMach2.

"Officer, I demand you release him. This is a private matter and we will settle this with the shop owner later."

Ice Cream Bar

Astra seems to be just as confused as Hay Bale and Icy combined.

What did I get into?

She shuffled back to a wall, trying not to draw attention to herself. She didn't want to get involved in whatever this was.

(This seems to be a normal reaction to any new, sane pony in town. No worries, we will corrupt you soon enough.)

Well it appears that they escape the worst of it as the pair escape to the safety of the hotel room. Unfortunately, Staccata is having a hell of a time getting at the key before the door opens. After placing her bag of moderately-explosive material down oblivious to Tyrol's impending comedic collapse, the mare comments, "Of course I'm going to need to go out and get some new blades soon still."

Tyrol did not respond. Instead, a loud rumble sounded beside Staccata. When she turns, she might find a pile of goods in the place of where Tyrol used to be. A low moan indicated that the stallion was indeed still inside there... somewhere.

[Benson]

"Well....*Goes into detail*"

In a blushing contest between her and Ember, she just beat Ember by an extra shade, and we know how red Ember can get. Zounds! She had to wear that, and that, and do that and wait...oh my. But the pay....the pay.....she did the math in her head, holy cheese sauce on a stick, she wouldn't even be able to make that much in a year even if she rose up to the top of her chosen career ladder, which could takes decades, let alone if she had a smidgeon of the chance of ever making it to the top.

FYI, no, her chosen career ladder was not to be some top ranking Messenger pony. She was more like a paid intern on the bottom of the corporate ladder. It was luck that her flank even caught Balboa's eye for her to be given a real paying intern-ish job, of being a messenger, as it was not like she was the only unicorn who knew how to teleport.

"I...I...what about..housing conditions? Am I to live here? I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but this could be a game changer for my life," She looked away feeling embarrassed.

================================================== =================

That Shop of Questionable Clothes

Spoiler

Show

"Hmmm." Being a bit of a seductress herself aided Sweet Victory at this job. She scanned the mannequins of black silks and synthetics. "Black or red. Black. Takes this corset, panties, stockings, gloves, and garter for the Dirty Darling collection. Make sure you don't let her tail cover any of it in the photo. Keep her legs in a manner with the kissing lips design is visible in the sheer fabric. You'll probably have to adjust it manually while she is wearing. Oh as she wants to be very slutty, more is more."

The mare leaps in a trunk on the floor. Her butt just sticking in the air. She emerges shortly afterward. "A petticoat and semi-transparent robe. Wearing these and there would be no surprise what she wants." The curvy pony hoofs over the items and a small camera "Have fun. Hehe."

Keep it professional, keep it professional. He kept telling himself as his wings ached, even more so, since, well, they were still in their casts/slings, recovering. He did his best not to look at her curvacious butt.

On the plus side, he was able to retain all the information she gave him as sketchy as it was. He just had to tell himself, that this was business. He was surprised though that he was being already allowed to take photos. Wait.

Then he thought. What if this was one big test...and he was secretly being tested for his skills...in well...what Big Bruce normally does. Manure. Okay, well darn it, he was going to do his best and do some quality work if he could.

"Alright...thank you Miss Victory," He said taking the...uh...'clothes' and camera as he went back down/out to the main store front and put on his best smile for the pink mare.

"Sorry about the delay ma'am, but, well, sometimes its worth a wait if you want just the finest," He presented her with the clothes Sweet Victory hoofed over to him.

================================================== ===============================



Hats Hats Hats!

Still rather irate from all the... all the stuff going on, the griffon doesn't really back down. He doesn't back off but rather continues, oblivious to any potential rioters approaching.

"So you're saying I should drag all of you in to sort it out?"

Lochbed coughs and rubs her eyes. This whole experience has been confusing."No Mr. Eaglelion, Ah don't have time for sorting. Ah have to git back to mah coltfriend right away."

"No...I'm saying.......I kinda don't want to deal with this, and, we'd rather just go home, back to our business and pretend this horrible nonsense didn't happen," Aubade said with a sigh,
================================================== =========================

Ice Cream drama

"Officer, I demand you release him. This is a private matter and we will settle this with the shop owner later."

"No can do ma'am," One of them said, light glistening from his black police shades.

"What??...Screw that officers...I am not going to jail again.." Fox began as he tried to manuever out of the way of two of the cops who seemed to have advanced him with hoof cups.

"Suspect is resisting arrest, firing taser gun," One said as he magically lifted and aimed his taser gun.

"Wait... what?" Fox asked caught off guard, before the taser gun shot out as little magic streams of electrical volts get him square on the flank. He derped eyed and fell to the ground, twitching.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ice Cream Bar

Astra winced a little at the taser. She could imagine how much that would hurt.

[Orzel]

Grills

The noblepony inserted himself between the guard's view and the twitching Fox Trot. "Gentleponies, please. I think the poor pony has had enough. There is real crime to search for." He juggles a few hundred bits in his hooves. "Like the mysterious whereabouts of some coin." he whispered slyly.


Juribean

"Perfect. Let me put it on and get to photography." Juribean lightly touches the colt's cheek before taking the clothing. And right before his very eyes and those watching outside, the assassin unstrips slowly and sensually. She makes long careful movements like the expert vamp she expects to be. An outside ogler faints from bloodloss via nostrils.

[Benson]

Grills

The noblepony inserted himself between the guard's view and the twitching Fox Trot. "Gentleponies, please. I think the poor pony has had enough. There is real crime to search for." He juggles a few hundred bits in his hooves. "Like the mysterious whereabouts of some coin." he whispered slyly.

"I beg your pardon sir?" One of them asked with a raised brow seen above his shades.

"Holy cheese fries...how is he juggling that many Bits...in his hooves?" Another one questioned.

Juribean

"Perfect. Let me put it on and get to photography." Juribean lightly touches the colt's cheek before taking the clothing. And right before his very eyes and those watching outside, the assassin unstrips slowly and sensually. She makes long careful movements like the expert vamp she expects to be. An outside ogler faints from bloodloss via nostrils.

He was not ready for a world filled with violence and all this very naughty naughty hotness in such a small radius. No really, just a few weeks ago, he was living an innocent sheltered life, and now...all this was here for him to take in.

He couldn't look away as much as he knew he should, this mare was incredibly smoking. I don't even have to say when he's particularly blushing anymore, its all the time, all the time now.

"Yes...I...we uh do have booths, just so you know, uh, next time," He said barely collecting himself

[MCerberus]

Hats Hats Hats!


"No...I'm saying.......I kinda don't want to deal with this, and, we'd rather just go home, back to our business and pretend this horrible nonsense didn't happen," Aubade said with a sigh

The griffon doesn't really back down at all. He's still angry about events yesterday and this is the closest thing he has to a healthy outlet... yah...

"So how do you expect to get out of here without me dragging you out through the mob then."

Tyrol did not respond. Instead, a loud rumble sounded beside Staccata. When she turns, she might find a pile of goods in the place of where Tyrol used to be. A low moan indicated that the stallion was indeed still inside there... somewhere.

Staccata pokes her head into the giant collapsed pile of adventuring supplies of dubious use to find Tyrol. "That would be the reason I took what I did out," the mare kind of smugly comments before trying to drag Tyrol out.

[Benson]

The griffon doesn't really back down at all. He's still angry about events yesterday and this is the closest thing he has to a healthy outlet... yah...

"So how do you expect to get out of here without me dragging you out through the mob then."

"I was just going to grab my friend here, and fly over the herd, sir," It was such a strained 'neutral' expression, mare had her limits on niceties.

[Grif]

"No can do ma'am," One of them said, light glistening from his black police shades.

"What??...Screw that officers...I am not going to jail again.." Fox began as he tried to manuever out of the way of two of the cops who seemed to have advanced him with hoof cups.

"Suspect is resisting arrest, firing taser gun," One said as he magically lifted and aimed his taser gun.

"Wait... what?" Fox asked caught off guard, before the taser gun shot out as little magic streams of electrical volts get him square on the flank. He derped eyed and fell to the ground, twitching.

"Why you little foals..." Icy said omniously, Fox's treatment in the hooves of these officers triggering something of an ice-cold rage.

Grills

The noblepony inserted himself between the guard's view and the twitching Fox Trot. "Gentleponies, please. I think the poor pony has had enough. There is real crime to search for." He juggles a few hundred bits in his hooves. "Like the mysterious whereabouts of some coin." he whispered slyly.

"I beg your pardon sir?" One of them asked with a raised brow seen above his shades.

"Holy cheese fries...how is he juggling that many Bits...in his hooves?" Another one questioned.

Icy coughed to get their attention, and glared murderously at them. They might also notice her horn already glowing omniously. "I. suggest. you. do. as. he. says," she ground out.

Staccata pokes her head into the giant collapsed pile of adventuring supplies of dubious use to find Tyrol. "That would be the reason I took what I did out," the mare kind of smugly comments before trying to drag Tyrol out.

"Dad was right... shopping is murder on the hooves..." Tyrol moaned as he was helped out.

[Benson]

"Why you little foals..." Icy said omniously, Fox's treatment in the hooves of these officers triggering something of an ice-cold rage.

Icy coughed to get their attention, and glared murderously at them. They might also notice her horn already glowing omniously. "I. suggest. you. do. as. he. says," she ground out.

"Ma'am, I advise you to not interfere with police procedures, failure to do so will result in your arrest as well," Said the officer who had addressed Grills with a 'I beg your pardon?', he will now be identified as being a stallion with a dark blue buzz cut mane and stern expression, made extra stern with his black reflecting shades, somehow. "I apologize for my...subordinate's error of tasering your friend, he will be accounted for. I will say again, do not interfere, your friend is being charged with disturbing the peace and physical aggression towards two civilians." Or something. Blah.

[Kelvin360]

Taylor

"I see, heh, well nonetheless my good sir, welcome to Bridle Shores, town of shenanigans,' He nodded giving Taylor a courtesy smile.

Taylor gets a bit of a far out look in his eyes, his own smile fading just a bit. "Yes. 'Welcome', indeed." He says it with not a bitter inflection, or a sarcastic one, but one of interest and even confusion. Whatever his thoughts, he sets off towards town.

First things came first...he needed a drink.

---

Arvadraa

"Mobs? Not that I know of, but ya never know... Anyway, I think there's something goin' on somewhere, 'n we've been workin' all day, so we might as well do something else for a while."

She thought on this a moment, a small rumbling disturbing her thoughts and making her jump a bit. "Oh. Um...I think I might be hungry. Are you? Are there...places we can go to eat? I think I've heard of them a few times. Buildings you can actually walk into where the food comes to you. Are they....real?" She sounds rather like a young filly inquiring about such mythical things like ice cream with more than one flavor or clouds that make frozen water come out of them.

[PurityIcekiller]

She thought on this a moment, a small rumbling disturbing her thoughts and making her jump a bit. "Oh. Um...I think I might be hungry. Are you? Are there...places we can go to eat? I think I've heard of them a few times. Buildings you can actually walk into where the food comes to you. Are they....real?" She sounds rather like a young filly inquiring about such mythical things like ice cream with more than one flavor or clouds that make frozen water come out of them.

"What? Of course they're real!" Blades laughed. "Ya haven't been to many cities, have ya. There's probably lots of places to go. What kind of food would ya like? Or would ya rather just wander around 'n find someplace that's not particular?"

[Orzel]

Juribean

"Oh, booths are for squares. They deprive ponies of pleasure, don't you agree? Tighten my corset please?" she asked with the garment's strings hangin across her back.

Now Juri knew ponies tended to turn red around her. Most of the time it is due to her kicking their teeth in but many times it is due to the view. Something was up with this one. This world had many open individuals. It would odd for a pony to be shocked this badly. Something was up. "I need three good no... three bad pictures."

Grills

Grills hooves over a bag of bits and pats the guard on the back. "C'mon guys. I'll just bail him out later. I can give you the money now and you can proccess him later. Same you time and such and I'll promise that he will come down to the guardhouse later to fill out the forms."

Lochbed

The fae was frustrated. She didn't have time for this. Her eyes flashed bright red and her body grew to one of moose size.

Ogre Lochbed grunted and lifted Aubade by the hoof. "We must go. she said as she cleared a path to the outside, swatting ponies aside like dolls.

But this wouldn't be the strangest sight for the griffins. His eyes saw nothing but griffins. The room was filled with female ponies but a glamour had tricked him into seeing only griffins. Roll saving throw.

[Mindfreak]

"Divination is inaccurate at the best of times, and outright false at the worst. That combined with the fact that she only began practicing using divination a week ago or so, means that she probably told you exactly what she saw, it's just that what she saw was probably wrong, or only true in a different universe entirely. I suggest ignoring her and just doing what you would have done before. Though, I suspect the still being mad about trying to kill you thing is still in effect." Soft elaborates.

Zach
Zach initiates FaceDesk proceedures again.
"I know she's probably still mad about it. I just...I just thought she'd get over it by now, you know? I've been seeing her for a while now and I thought I was doing all I could to make up for it...I mean, I didn't even want to kill her in the first place..."

[Benson]

Taylor
Taylor gets a bit of a far out look in his eyes, his own smile fading just a bit. "Yes. 'Welcome', indeed." He says it with not a bitter inflection, or a sarcastic one, but one of interest and even confusion. Whatever his thoughts, he sets off towards town.

First things came first...he needed a drink.

The guard waved him off and then frowned, now it was back to boredom, he trotted back to his post and sighed. Just three more hours 'til his shift was up.

/end scene

Juribean

"Oh, booths are for squares. They deprive ponies of pleasure, don't you agree? Tighten my corset please?" she asked with the garment's strings hangin across her back.

Now Juri knew ponies tended to turn red around her. Most of the time it is due to her kicking their teeth in but many times it is due to the view. Something was up with this one. This world had many open individuals. It would odd for a pony to be shocked this badly. Something was up. "I need three good no... three bad pictures."

He first stared blankly at her and then hesitantly walked over to her to fulfill her uh request. He grabbed a string with his teeth and pressed a hoof against her back as he pulled. Gosh she was soft.

"Bad pictures?....Like poor quality pictures?....oh.....bad as in uh....'naughty'?" He asked sheepishly.

Grills

Grills hooves over a bag of bits and pats the guard on the back. "C'mon guys. I'll just bail him out later. I can give you the money now and you can process him later. Same you time and such and I'll promise that he will come down to the guardhouse later to fill out the forms."

The officer grunted when he was hooved the bag o bits, he instinctively held up to his chest. "You know what, frak it. He's yours."

"But sir...!"

"No pony shot another pony, this little scene is not worth my time anymore," He signaled for the other three to leave who all had confused expressions but started to shuffle out nonetheless. The officer with the blue buzz cut mane turned to Grills. "Ya know, there wasn't even going to be a bail, he was just going to spend the night in jail to calm his head down. Thanks for the Bits, looks like my kid and her soccer mates are having a pizza party today."

Lochbed

The fae was frustrated. She didn't have time for this. Her eyes flashed bright red and her body grew to one of moose size.

Ogre Lochbed grunted and lifted Aubade by the hoof. "We must go. she said as she cleared a path to the outside, swatting ponies aside like dolls.

But this wouldn't be the strangest sight for the griffins. His eyes saw nothing but griffins. The room was filled with female ponies but a glamour had tricked him into seeing only griffins. Roll saving throw.

She simply 'waah'd' as Lochbed put her on her back.

[Lix Lorn]

Faith is going to be snuggling up to Amber from one side, distracting her by licking her neck.

[Mystic Muse]

Zach
Zach initiates FaceDesk proceedures again.
"I know she's probably still mad about it. I just...I just thought she'd get over it by now, you know? I've been seeing her for a while now and I thought I was doing all I could to make up for it...I mean, I didn't even want to kill her in the first place..."

"Ponies tend to take trying to kill them pretty poorly" Soft says, pointing out the obvious. "What have you been doing? I Might be able to give you some advice. Smoothie is Aromantic and Asexual, so asking her is a recipe for disaster."

[MCerberus]

"Dad was right... shopping is murder on the hooves..." Tyrol moaned as he was helped out.

"I didn't know your family had such great wisdom on the subject," Staccata casually teases while getting a couple of drinks out of the fridge.

"I was just going to grab my friend here, and fly over the herd, sir," It was such a strained 'neutral' expression, mare had her limits on niceties.

The griffon just stares at the mare for a second, not knowing what to make of it. Of course the not-backing down pony he just met sort of brightens his day.

"You take the bleeding mess out and we forg-" and everything became terribly weird again. He shakes his head at the confusing sight. This doesn't seem at all possible, but still he tries to get the bleeding mare/griffon that he doesn't know instigated the fight out to safety.

[Mindfreak]

"Ponies tend to take trying to kill them pretty poorly" Soft says, pointing out the obvious. "What have you been doing? I Might be able to give you some advice. Smoothie is Aromantic and Asexual, so asking her is a recipe for disaster."

Zach
"Well...I apologize first, then I let her hit me as much as she wanted and set me on fire, then apologized again, and from there it's been me sleeping at her house and taking her out to nice dinners every other night."

[Mystic Muse]

Zach
"Well...I apologize first, then I let her hit me as much as she wanted and set me on fire, then apologized again, and from there it's been me sleeping at her house and taking her out to nice dinners every other night."

"....Why are you trying to go out with this girl again?" Soft asks bewildered.

[Grif]

The officer grunted when he was hooved the bag o bits, he instinctively held up to his chest. "You know what, frak it. He's yours."

"But sir...!"

"No pony shot another pony, this little scene is not worth my time anymore," He signaled for the other three to leave who all had confused expressions but started to shuffle out nonetheless. The officer with the blue buzz cut mane turned to Grills. "Ya know, there wasn't even going to be a bail, he was just going to spend the night in jail to calm his head down. Thanks for the Bits, looks like my kid and her soccer mates are having a pizza party today."

Sensing the situation was over for now, Icy trotted over to Grills. "Thank you. we're in your debt," she said simply, bowing her head in thanks. After shooting one final glare at the departing officers, she knelt over her fallen coltfriend and cradled his head. "Fox... why do you get into these situations so often?" she muttered.

Hay Bale would probably be throwing her forelegs up in despair now at the apparent flippy-floppiness of Icy/Esmeralda.

[Mindfreak]

"....Why are you trying to go out with this girl again?" Soft asks bewildered.

"What's wrong with apologies and nice dinners? Plus, she invited me to stay at her house." =_=

[Mystic Muse]

"What's wrong with apologies and nice dinners? Plus, she invited me to stay at her house." =_=

"Well, frankly, after being set on fire I'd have figured either two things. One, either the pony doesn't want a relationship, or two, she wants this thing called a Kismesis relationship, which probably isn't the case here, and is probably not desirable." She says.

In a blushing contest between her and Ember, she just beat Ember by an extra shade, and we know how red Ember can get. Zounds! She had to wear that, and that, and do that and wait...oh my. But the pay....the pay.....she did the math in her head, holy cheese sauce on a stick, she wouldn't even be able to make that much in a year even if she rose up to the top of her chosen career ladder, which could takes decades, let alone if she had a smidgeon of the chance of ever making it to the top.

FYI, no, her chosen career ladder was not to be some top ranking Messenger pony. She was more like a paid intern on the bottom of the corporate ladder. It was luck that her flank even caught Balboa's eye for her to be given a real paying intern-ish job, of being a messenger, as it was not like she was the only unicorn who knew how to teleport.

"I...I...what about..housing conditions? Am I to live here? I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but this could be a game changer for my life," She looked away feeling embarrassed.

"If Living here would suit you, then yes you may live here. If not, you can live whereever you want." Mystic responds, and licks the messenger pony as well.

[Mindfreak]

Zach
"The fire thing was way back when I was still the leader of Celestia's Resistance. Remember? Way back when I was in here, in hoofcuffs I believe, and I was set on fire then that witch of a mare froze me and then Hullabaloo cried?"=_=

[Benson]

new thread

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=235541


I'll respond to the posts in the new thread

[Orzel]

Juribean

"Hmm...Naughty, of course. Ow. That hurts." the assassin squeaked in a flirty manner as Ember pulld.

Juribean slowly walked into a free photography room behind a navy. A hoof stretches out from the side of it with a come hither motion. "Come here, Mr. Camerapony."

Grills

"Here's another twenty. Buy the kids soda and candy." said Grills before hoofing over some more coin. Sure it was a waste of coin but it raised his level of generosity with the ponies who saw. He'll just take it out his military budget later.

Lochbed

The brutish fae simply crashed and smashed down the street. The griffon would see a giant female griffon carrying another one causing the havoc of course.

[HalfTangible]

Hay Bale's confused garble-babble would sound not unlike the kind of randomized syllables that would form an eldritch abomination's name as they left to the clinic.

[Clinic]

This time the nurse actually burst into tears. WHY?! WHY DON'T YOU STOP COMING BAAAAAAAAACK?!