Famous last words

[Reingar]

Hello friends,
i dont know if there is a similar thread (search found nothing) about your parties or your own last words.
A few examples

• Thank god the dragon is sleeping.(it wasn't)
• Its just 1 goblin.(TPK)
• oopsie( cheating in a game of cards with 1 barbarian npc)
• I'll scout ahead (still waiting)

Personal and most used: I GOT THIS

So whats yours?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Hold my beer, watch this.
I'm sure of it, no traps, I rolled an 18.
Wanna bet?
Can't touch this.
Man, I love being a...
Leroy Jenkiiiiiiiiins!
Over my dead body!

And yes, I do seem to remember there having been a thread like this at some point, I think in Roleplaying General.

[Reingar]

And yes, I do seem to remember there having been a thread like this at some point, I think in Roleplaying General.

Shall i delete the thread?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Not unless someone insists on digging an older one up and continuing there.

I wouldn't be surprised if there had been multiple of these over the years, and I sure don't feel like reading through them to find out what I can't suggest anymore.

[Kid Jake]

"We both know you're not going to shoot me."
"Pfft, why would I need a doctor?"
"Wonder what it tastes like..."

[Vinyadan]

"This wall isn't load bearing."

[Lvl 2 Expert]

"This wall isn't load bearing."

When they were remodeling the station I worked at they had tagged all the big pillars with the local equivalent of "stay", to note that they shouldn't be demolished. I was kind of happy about it, but also a little worried that they needed to. What if the demolitions crew approached from the other side for a change?

[AuthorGirl]

We won't die, the DM won't let us.

Nothing bad will happen until we get to the actual dungeon.

It's just an old man!

Oh yeah? Well, I'm a Fire Elemental!

It's fine, I've got this.

Oh, ****!

Where's the cleric?

The cleric is unconscious!

What do you mean, I'm out of spell slots?

I can bluff my way out of this.

I roll a perception check.

I roll a stealth check.

Okay, one shot . . . I can do this . . .

I pick his pocket.

I step into the water.

I step through the door.

I open my eyes.

I jump into the dragon's mouth with every fire spell I have overcharged and blazing.

Aaaaahhh oh god oh god I'm so sorry! that fireball was NOT AIMED AT YOU!!! . . . I said I didn't mean to!


No particular order, these are just all things that have been said immediately before someone's character dies. The last one counts as two in one: the wizard crisped the fighter. The rogue shot the wizard in the back.

[Vinyadan]

Last words of some dude who had been bitten by a rattlesnake:

"I know how to treat this. Connect the car battery to my lips."

[FlammySenpai]

"Nothing is gonna happen if we take stuff from this pyramid"

[Velaryon]

"Let's kill 'em for XP!"

(Said when outnumbered approximately 20-to-1, with at least two of the enemies being full-blown vampires).

[Stelio Kontos]

Don't worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--- *thunk*

[golentan]

From the DM: "Relax, they're just zombies, you guys'll be fine."

[Vinyadan]

"It's the red cable."

[comicshorse]

" Don't worry I'll just suck the poison out of the wound "

[Capt Spanner]

"I wonder what this button does?"

[DraPrime]

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" - Chrysippus, a Greek philosopher who died of laughter when a donkey at his figs

No really, look it up.

[Kyberwulf]

Not mine, but one I read.
After killing the priest of a death for.

"Here's your sacrifice Death God!"

Always the best one.

[AuthorGirl]

I draw my sword, cast Thundering Smite, and charge the dragon.

Also, this campaign looked likely to be fun. I'm sorry.

[2D8HP]

"It's just a scratch".

[Green Elf]

I hit it with my sword
I attack it
Just spend your money on weapons and armor
I hit the muscular bartender who has the steel mace with my empty bottle (I actually had a player do this on me)

[Malimar]

My witch: "Hey, wanna do something stupid?"
The paladin: "Yes!"

(The "stupid" idea was dimension dooring the paladin above/onto a flying dragon so he could smite it. The paladin did wind up dying, not from the dragon or from the fall afterwards but because the fall separated him from the party and he found a group of marauding giants. My witch did not die.)

[ElfMadness]

"I pull out my sword."

[Vinyadan]

"To drive manual can't be that hard."

[AuthorGirl]

"To drive manual can't be that hard."

Suddenly I wish this forum had "likes" or up-votes.

[In4Dimensions]

“Wait, where’d they go? They were just here a minute ago...”

[Vinyadan]

"Hi! I'm Clippit, your Office assistant!"

[MikelaC1]

"Its just a bunch of mammoths"
followed two rounds later by
"Mother****** mammoths, choppin' me down"

[Vinyadan]

"Here, make a video while I boo the cow."

[AuthorGirl]

"Okay! Who has the best sense of smell?"