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  1. - Top - End - #91
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Savannah View Post
    Wouldn't the most pathetic monster (without modifications) be the shrieker? It's a fungus that screams when anyone gets near it. Nothing else. It can't move and can't attack. Which is all well and good, except that it's CR 1. Meaning you get XP for chopping up something that can't fight back or escape in any way.
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  2. - Top - End - #92
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Yeah, I failed pretty hard there. Need to remember to walk up from nap before posting on forums. I's a gunna go get some caffeine before I embarress myself any further.
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  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Pink View Post
    Actually, it wouldn't be CR 20 by itself.




    As you can see, Monk is never mentioned as an associated class level, therefore it must be a nonassociated class level, meaning you'd need a level 40 monk to be a CR20 challenge.

    The funny thing is, it is the only core class not mentioned, as the explicitly mentioned ones are non-casting classes and casting classes are grouped together, which constitutes of bard, cleric, druid, sorcerer and wizard. So indeed, a level 40 Monk is only CR 20 by RAW... at least if it applies to a creature that has monster HD already. Level 40 Gnoll Monk anyone?

    EDIT: Better yet, level 40 awakened shrieker monk.
    Last edited by Morph Bark; 2010-06-18 at 02:13 AM.
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  4. - Top - End - #94
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by --Lime-- View Post
    I need to model a toddler so that we can finally answer that: "How many toddlers do you think you could defeat before they defeated you?"

    Though I generally find this works better if the kids are 5 or 6, and come at you all at once, rather than one at a time. In *theory*!
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  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Pink View Post
    Actually, it wouldn't be CR 20 by itself.

    As you can see, Monk is never mentioned as an associated class level, therefore it must be a nonassociated class level, meaning you'd need a level 40 monk to be a CR20 challenge.

    I suspect there is more truth to this statement than you think.

    A lv40 monk is still weaker than a great wyrm red dragon at any rate.

  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    The Donkey is the most pathetic. It might not be the absolute worst - it doesn't have the lowest CR, for example. But... it can get beaten by a lizard. A rat could be tough.

  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    The Donkey is the most pathetic. It might not be the absolute worst - it doesn't have the lowest CR, for example. But... it can get beaten by a lizard. A rat could be tough.
    That is awesome. Shame it didn't grow out into a community project with tons of Donkey-related stuff just like Bhu's massive cat-related heap of things, other things and even more things.
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  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Heh, yeah, that would've been pretty awesome. But I guess for some reason donkeys just don't have the same appeal as kittycats I mean, what's this guy got:



    that this guy ain't?



    He's practically oozing charisma!

  9. - Top - End - #99
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by The mage View Post
    Hmm, the most pathetic dnd monster there ever could be is a fly with a fullblade, 1d8 damage, hehehe(-5 str)
    This dosen't work. According to the dnd weapon shrinking rules, a fine fullblade would deal 1d8, but a fly is mindless, so it gets no feats, and cant use a fullblade.

  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

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  11. - Top - End - #101
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Devastation Vermin are just big bugs. They scare and kill commoners, but their touch AC is pathetic (only about 16!) and reverse gravity or flight will down 'em eventually.
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  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    The Donkey is the most pathetic. It might not be the absolute worst - it doesn't have the lowest CR, for example. But... it can get beaten by a lizard. A rat could be tough.
    Just remember, you get more XP from chopping up an immobile, defenseless fungus than you do for killing a donkey, which can at least try to escape or fight back. I still maintain that the shrieker is the most pathetic monster.
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Just how many toads do you have to kill to level up one anyway?, I imagine vermin catcher commoners would level once or twice in their career.
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    I'm gonna say the Flumph. In 4e, knocking it prone makes it helpless, allowing you to coup de grace it. I assume it's stats in other systems are equally as bad.
    Last edited by Thajocoth; 2010-06-18 at 06:50 PM.
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  15. - Top - End - #105
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Stevielash View Post
    Just how many toads do you have to kill to level up one anyway?, I imagine vermin catcher commoners would level once or twice in their career.
    A toad is CR 1/10, so it's worth 30 XP for a first level character. A single 1st level character would need to kill 34 toads to level. A standard group of four 1st level characters would need to kill 136 toads to level.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thajocoth View Post
    I'm gonna say the Flumph. In 4e, knocking it prone makes it helpless, allowing you to coup de grace it. I assume it's stats in other systems are equally as bad.
    Still better than the shrieker, if it can do things when it's not prone.
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  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    But the shrieker's power is basically "Roll on the random encounter table"

    You might get nothing, you might get the underwater tiger.
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  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Only if the DM does so. By itself, it's worthless. (Mind you, I find it a good explanation for what is essentially a summoning trap, but trap triggers aren't worth separate XP.)
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  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by PersonMan View Post
    It can possibly do damage. Every attack does at least 1 damage. The toad can't do any damage at all.
    I think the toad can make non-proficient unarmed strikes for 1 damage at at time. (-9 to hit) Or it could TWF for 2 damage a turn.

    It can also grapple you with it's -17 grapple modifier, and then beat you to death (-13 to hit). But only if you're Diminutive or smaller.

    It can also gorge itself until it weighs 1 pound or more and then fall on you for 1 damage.

    Or it can make a bull rush (-21 to the attempt) to push you off a cliff.

    Or it can dip itself in poison and climb down your throat while you sleep.


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  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    I dominate the Yochlol. Not because it's a poor combatant, but because it fits the criteria of being incredibly pathetic. Lloth's 'most favored servant' is a disgusting, tentacled and shapeless handmaiden that gets sent to serve DROW PRIESTS at her command. Not only is being the servant that gets sent to serve under OTHER servants just about the lamest gig ever, it gets worse.

    In combat, they transform into a HAWT FEMALE DROW to seduce their opponents. If this fails, they transform back down into it's normal form, violates them with tentacles in order to reduce future will saves, then changes form back to a girl and tries the seduction routine again.

    Pretty much the definition of the most pathetic monster ever.

  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Savannah View Post
    A toad is CR 1/10, so it's worth 30 XP for a first level character. A single 1st level character would need to kill 34 toads to level. A standard group of four 1st level characters would need to kill 136 toads to level.
    *gets his net and heads into the woods*

    There's at least 34 toads in those woods. I can hear them.

    Run, my precious nuggets of XP! The scales of your annoyance and my laziness have finally been disturbed!

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  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    I dominate the Yochlol. Not because it's a poor combatant, but because it fits the criteria of being incredibly pathetic. Lloth's 'most favored servant' is a disgusting, tentacled and shapeless handmaiden that gets sent to serve DROW PRIESTS at her command. Not only is being the servant that gets sent to serve under OTHER servants just about the lamest gig ever, it gets worse.

    In combat, they transform into a HAWT FEMALE DROW to seduce their opponents. If this fails, they transform back down into it's normal form, violates them with tentacles in order to reduce future will saves, then changes form back to a girl and tries the seduction routine again.

    Pretty much the definition of the most pathetic monster ever.
    It alternates between seduction and tentacle rape until you fail a Will Save?

    This sounds less terrifying and more "HOLY CRAP!! fine just take the BBEG's damn sword back, I don't want it that much anyway".
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by balistafreak View Post
    *gets his net and heads into the woods*

    There's at least 34 toads in those woods. I can hear them.

    Run, my precious nuggets of XP! The scales of your annoyance and my laziness have finally been disturbed!

    /tangent
    Of course, that depends on whether CR 1/10 monsters "are eight Challenge Ratings lower than the character's level", in which case you won't get any XP at all. It's a bit hard to interpret with fractional CRs.
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Savannah View Post
    Of course, that depends on whether CR 1/10 monsters "are eight Challenge Ratings lower than the character's level", in which case you won't get any XP at all. It's a bit hard to interpret with fractional CRs.
    A Human Commoner is CR 1/2. That goes down to 1/4, then 1/8, then 1/10, only 3 less.
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  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Isn't there also CR 1/3 and 1/6? Or am I imagining things again? That still puts it at less than 8 steps below, though...Go balistafreak! Level up!
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  25. - Top - End - #115
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    I ran a module a few weeks ago, that had a harpy in it. She was used as a final boss, inside a small tower. All the monsters in the keep were dead, and a party of level 2's except for one character resisted her song. Her only weapon is a 1d4 club, and she can fly. Whup-dee doo. That was the saddest end boss ever.
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  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Pink View Post
    But the shrieker's power is basically "Roll on the random encounter table"

    You might get nothing, you might get the underwater tiger.
    Alright, I'll change my idea.

    An awakened shrieker, 40 levels in monk, caught in a silenced area.
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  27. - Top - End - #117
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by M-Bark View Post
    Alright, I'll change my idea.

    An awakened shrieker, 40 levels in monk, caught in a silenced area.
    No. Why? 1st level characters won't get any XP for it. We want it to be pathetic, but not too pathetic to be unusable. 16 levels of Monk in a Silenced area gives 1st level characters maximum XP, and can feed them more until they get to level 16, although it'll take a lot of them after a while.
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilmryn View Post
    This dosen't work. According to the dnd weapon shrinking rules, a fine fullblade would deal 1d8, but a fly is mindless, so it gets no feats, and cant use a fullblade.
    Do you need prof to wield it? Cause normally, you can be unprof and wield weapons. Just take a -to hit.

    Also, all Kobolds should have a 1st lvl SLA. Power Word Pain anyone?

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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    [QUOTE=2xMachina;8737053]Do you need prof to wield it? Cause normally, you can be unprof and wield weapons. Just take a -to hit.QUOTE]

    The fullblade is a weapon from the 3.0 Arms and Equipment Guide. It is a sword so big you need a proficency to use it. Kind of like a bastard sword, only two-handed.
    I once had a player play a fighter-type warlock variant, using monkey grip to use a large version of the fullblade. He dealt more damage with a melee attack than with he Eldritch Blast...

  30. - Top - End - #120
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    Default Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by PersonMan View Post
    No. Why? 1st level characters won't get any XP for it. We want it to be pathetic, but not too pathetic to be unusable. 16 levels of Monk in a Silenced area gives 1st level characters maximum XP, and can feed them more until they get to level 16, although it'll take a lot of them after a while.
    Since when is this our specific goal? For that matter, when did we all get that very same goal in this thread? I was under the assumption that this thread was simply for trying to come up with the most pathetic DnD monster, not "the DnD monster that gives commoners the least XP and also couldn't do jack to them". I simply focused on that latter part.
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