Want to know what region we haven't had enough of? Let's storylocke Pokemon White 2!

[Illven]

So there I was playing my White 2 nuzlocke and taking notes on what pokemon I caught and what pokemon died and such. And I thought. Let's do something I've never done before, let's write a story locke.

Yes this will have spoilers for the pokemon games that came out barely a week ago.

White 2 rules

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Rule #1 Can only catch the first pokemon without a catch symbol in each area.
Rule #2 If a pokemon faints, put it in the last box and can't use it anymore.
Rule #3 For every important battle, (Gym leader, Rival, Villainous leaders) I may only use as many pokemon as the opponent uses.

Ch 1 The strength of ideals!

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Nate My name is Nate. Nate Alkain. I had the mind of a scientist. I wanted to be a master engineer. Everybody tried to tell me my future was in battling. In elementary school whenever they had practice battles I would always win. Always. None of my classmates were even close to a match for me.

Nate But.... I didn't want to. I never wanted to do that. I mean pokemon aren't human but they are sentient beings. And they can die. I.... My mind's meant to solve problems, make new technology. Not to send pokemon to their deaths in a vain attempt for glory and money.

Nate And this is my greatest secret. I can hear the voices of pokemon. Like the “Hero” of Team Plasma. And I've never told anyone...

Nate It was the morning of my eighteenth birthday. My mom called me down from my room.
Mom Nate. I know you don't want to hear this, but I talked to Professor Juniper. She's agreed to give you a starter pokemon in exchange for a pokedex.
Nate Mom! I don't want to! I won't kill pokemon!
Mom Nate. You are good at this. There is a lot of money in competitive battling. Why are you so defiant!?
Nate I would think you'd be happy I'm unwilling to kill.
Mom It's a pokemon! It's different.
Nate Not enough.
Mom *sigh* Look Nate, let's make a deal. I know you want to go to college and become a scientist. If you try this... If you make an earnest attempt at being a champion, I'll pay for college should you fail. Okay?
Nate ... What?
Mom Nate I want you to try this. I'm certain that you will become champion. If promising to pay for college should you fail get you to try, I'm more then willing.
Nate I wanted to say no.... I wanted.....

Nate I was supposed to meet one of Juniper's aides at the Asperita city airport. I was told to look for a girl named Bianca, and that she was a little shorter then me, with blond hair, glasses and a green hat. I was nearly there, when I saw one of my friends Hugh. I didn't want to talk to him though. Our friendship had suffered a strain in recent months. He had grown more and more insistent that I join the police force like him. Which would of course involve battling. Unfortunately he saw me.
Hugh Hey, Nate. I heard. Finally getting a pokemon. huh?
Nate Yes, yes. You may begin the gloating.
Hugh Heh. No gloating. Today is a great day. Finally you have seen the light.
Nate *sigh*
Hugh No, no don't look like you're walking to your execution. I'm sincerely happy. You may not have joined the force but we're going to need men with your talents soon. He leaned in whispering.
Hugh Besides maybe it's for the best. Since you're not a cop you can take certain liberties with suspects.
Nate ... Really?
Hugh Hey, I wouldn't normally say that, but desperate times. All throughout our nation we've been hearing chatter about Team Plasma. Nothing concrete but.....
Nate Dude. You always think Team Plasma's going to commit some heinous crime. Their criminal elements died out two years ago when Hilbert defeated N at the pokemon league, they aren't going to do anything.
I wouldn't be so sure. From what Hilbert told me, N was just a figurehead. And that the true mastermind also managed to escape. A voice butted in from behind me You're Nate, right? I'm Bianca, Juniper's aide.
Nate Um.... Uh... She was beautiful. I had some crush before and even a couple of girlfriends. But... I had never seen a girl half attractive as she was. My body felt like I was electrified and on fire all at the same time. And my brain and my mouth wouldn't form words.
Bianca Hello.... Anybody home? She lightly knocked on my forehead with an adorable quizzical look while my brain was still trying to form words.
Hugh Yeah, yeah forgive him. He's just a little nervous. It's his first pokemon after all. We've all been like that.
Bianca Yeah..... I still remember that day. It's the second greatest day of my life.
Nate Uh. Yeah sorry about that. Hugh whispered “You owe me.” I ignored him. So, um. How do we do this. Do you ask me some questions? Does my hair color determine what pokemon I get? She giggled.
Bianca I take it no one told you much. You pick one of these three, She pulled a case out of her backpack. The Grass type Snivey, The Fire type Tepig, or the Water type Oshawott. Oh! And here's your pokedex!
Nate Uh....... I... I guess Oshawott. I had touched the poke-ball when my pokedex blared out.
Pokedex Got the Oshawott at Aspertia city at level 5. Nature Hardy, Strongly defiant. Ability Torrent
Hugh Hey, I have an idea. Why not show Bianca how well you handle that pokemon. I challenge you to a one on one battle.
Nate Hugh

So tell me what you think. This is again my first storylocke.

[Dracarot]

How many ranks does Nate's mom have in Diplomacy? Clearly alot seeing as how she knows Nate won't willingly let the team die on him seeing how he'll actually care about those that he will be taking into battle.

Oh and by the way Nate's mom you are a specieist (expletive!)

Oh and I am quite interested and it's clearly invoking my passion.

Well Hugh is technically wrong, but also, very, very wrong. At least from the Lawful Good perspective, (which according to three different D&D alignment tests seems to be my own world view).

[Illven]

How many ranks does Nate's mom have in Diplomacy? Clearly alot seeing as how she knows Nate won't willingly let the team die on him seeing how he'll actually care about those that he will be taking into battle.

Oh and by the way Nate's mom you are a specieist (expletive!)

Oh and I am quite interested and it's clearly invoking my passion.

Well Hugh is technically wrong, but also, very, very wrong. At least from the Lawful Good perspective, (which according to three different D&D alignment tests seems to be my own world view).

Well if she didn't know her son well enough to know he's not going to purposefully kill her team off, I'd call her a inattentive parent.

Remember unlike Nate and N, Nate's mom can't talk with pokemon. Which puts a barrier between them.

Hugh could very well be Lawful Neutral, or any alignment really, remember he's a cop not a Paladin. The only important part is that he not get caught saying these things.

[Illven]

Ch 2 Small steps

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Nate Hugh, you've been a police officer for over two years! Your pokemon are way more experienced then mine!
Hugh Not my Snivy, Nate. I'll use my Snivy that's never fought before, and you use you Oshawott that never fought before.
Kevin The name's Kevin, idiot.... My Oshawott muttered.
Nate Um, I can name the Oshawott, right? I asked Bianca
Bianca Of course, it's your pokemon.
Nate Hmmmm.... I think Kevin sounds like a good name. Kevin's eyes shot up in shock.
Kevin You... you can hear me? He said mystified.
Nate Yes....... I think Kevin's a wonderful name.
Hugh There you named it. Snivy take it out.
Nate Kevin! Kevin sprung to his feet instantly, jumping off the ground and to the side avoiding Snivy's dive.
Kevin Oh yeah, come at me you little worm. Kevin body-slammed Snivy as it tried to get up.
Pokedex Critical hit! My poke-dex shouted out.
Bianca Impressive! Keep up the pressure.
Hugh Arrgh! Snivy finish this, it's never fought before.
Nate The Snivy tried to rolled out from under Kevin, as Kevin started gnawing on any body part it could reach.
Kevin Stay down!
Nate The Snivy managed to get to it's feet, and tried to dive on Kevin, but Kevin managed to roll out of the way of the dive, and get to it's feet. Kevin! Finish it.
Kevin On it! Kevin bit it by the tail as it tried to get up, and started shaking.
Bianca Enough! Enough! Nate won. Your Snivy's clearly out-matched.
Hugh No it isn't! Snivy finish this.
Nate Kevin return before you kill him.
Hugh Arrgh! I don't need your compassion! Go.....
Nate Before he could send out his next pokemon, I saw a flash of movement from my side. Bianca already had her hands on a poke-ball.
Bianca Try it! See how well that works out for you. Hugh took a calming sigh as I heard his phone go off.
Hugh What? Floccesy ranch? Are you sure? Yeah I'm on my way. And then he ran off, just like that. Hey, Bianca thanks. I have no idea what was going through his head.
Bianca Hrm..... I don't like him. He seems a-tad unbalanced.
Nate Normally he's not like that. I've beaten him before in school and he never acted like that.
Bianca Yeah but in school he wouldn't have had a second pokemon to do that with..... In any case, do you need to need me to show you around the pokemon center?
Nate Her comment was right. And the shock that maybe Hugh planned to put my life in danger at the very least stunned me.
Bianca Um.... okay I guess not?.... I'll be going now then.
Nate No, no. I'm sorry. I just didn't think of the second pokemon thing. I'd love for you to show me how to be a top trainer.
Bianca Oh. Okay, Well first you have to lead me to your pokemon center. So after you.
* * *
Nate We were on the outskirts of route 19. Bianca had just shown me how to catch pokemon.
Bianca It'd be better if you had some method of putting it to sleep, or stunning it but..... Well your turn, so me your catching skills.
Nate Wait, what!?
Bianca Come on, show me how good of a teacher I am. Catch something.
Nate Um, I don't have any pokeballs, Bianca...... I guess we have to go back to the pokemon center then. I said hopefully.
Bianca Heh. You think I didn't think of that? Here, consider this a good-luck gift.
Nate She said smiling as she placed a small bag in my hands. Um okay, Kevin, let's try to catch the first thing we see.
Kevin You got it, boss.
???Oh Arceus, so close. Two humans and a Oshawott.... What to do? What to do? I..... I want to run..... But this is my home, I won't let it be invaded!
Huh? Suddenly a Patrat charged out of a bush and rammed Kevin in the ribs. They both stumbled and the Patrat started beating Kevin with it's stubby little arms.
Kevin Ow. Ow stop it! This is for the best, this guy can understand us.
??? I don't believe you! My name is Emma and I will drive you from my home. And that was all I needed to hear. I could have perhaps persuaded Emma to come with us, if I were alone, but there would be no way I could do that without tipping off Bianca, which was not something I was risking. I threw the poke-ball.
Bianca That won't work..... You need to weaken it first. And then we heard a ding.
Pokedex Caught a Patrat on Route 19 at level 3. Nature Timid, Strong willed, Ability Run away
Bianca You got lucky......
Nate Heh. Or I just had a wonderful teacher.
Bianca Yeah, yeah She rolled her eyes as she said that. I think that's everything, so I have to go.
Nate Oh.... Are you sure?
Bianca Yeah, Juniper might chew me out if I spend much longer..... Hey, um....
Nate Yeah....
Bianca I.... I don't like leaving you alone with your.... “Friend”, so here's my number. If you need advice, or your friend goes off the deep end, I'm just a call away.
Nate I might need a lot of advice. And I couldn't believe I just said that. Ugh.
Bianca *snerk* That's fine I suppose, just don't call me when I'm sleeping. See you around Nate.
Nate And like that, my trainer career had started.

So did people like chapter 2? Any changes I should make to my story-telling?

[Forrestfire]

I'm enjoying this so far. I think maybe spacing the dialogue out a bit might be good, though.

[Illven]

I'm enjoying this so far. I think maybe spacing the dialogue out a bit might be good, though.

What do you mean?

[Forrestfire]

What I meant is, is there any way to make it less "wall of text"-ey?

[Illven]

I can try to split up scene changes, and maybe throw in a bulbapedia pic or two. Would that help?

[Forrestfire]

I think that would help a lot.

[Illven]

I think that would help a lot.

Okay, I'll try that and see how that works.

So whose your favorite character so far?

[Dracarot]

Why do I have the feeling Hugh is going to cause even more problems than I'm imagining already...

[Illven]

Why do I have the feeling Hugh is going to cause even more problems than I'm imagining already...

Because it'll give me stuff to write about.

[Illven]

Ch 3 Hugh's going to rage now.

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Nate The first step of our journey was to be Virbank city, although Aspertia city had often tried to talk to the league about getting a gym, the league always said it was looking into potential gym leaders and nothing was ever done about it. So my first gym badge would be at Virbank.
Emma Can he really understand us? Emma had said as we left Floccesy town
Nate Yes, I can Emma. We've gone through this.
Emma You're...... you're just like that green haired boy from two years ago...
Nate Heh. Hugh would kill you if he heard that, or rather understood it.
Emma Are you going to free us from human tyranny, like he tried to do?
Nate If all pokemon want freedom, why don't you try and fight for it? You don't need someone to understand you, just cause enough havoc.
Kevin Because most don't care about freedom, and it's not in our heads to organize into one big social strcuture like you humans, most pokemon that want freedom are better off hiding then attacking a city by themselves or whatever small group that they could scrounge up.
Nate Huh. I can't really comprehend that mindset. Not wanting to be around others. It's strange.
Kevin And I can't comprehend caring about anyone but your family. Kevin said shrugging.
Alexandria You. Human! You'll pay for entering my territory! If you leave one of your pokemon as a snack, perhaps I'll forgive your intrusion. I'm Alexandria the Purrloin. Master of Route 20.

Kevin Really? *snerk* What else inhabits Route 20? Magikarp?
Nate Kevin... Really?
Kevin Nate. It's a Purrloin. They suck.
Nate You don't need to insult it. Be nice.
Alexandria You'll be the first victim, otter. The Purrloin called as it dived on Kevin
Kevin Come at me, you flea ridden, cat!
Nate Flea?, Cat? Whatever Kevin attack! Kevin lunged into the air, evading the Purrloin's attack effortlessly.
Alexandria Arrgh! Stand still! Kevin rammed the Purrloin with a disdainful expression
Kevin Just shut up.
Nate Good job, Kevin. I said as I threw one of the poke-ball's Bianca gave me.
Kevin Seriously, a Purrloin. Are your standards actually that low?
Pokedex Caught Alexandria the Purrloin on Route 20 at level 3. Nature Relaxed, Quick to flee. Ability Unburden
Nate Shut up! I won't use it, just capture it for the data.
Kevin Yeah, yeah that's what they all say. Then they send it out against a magikarp, saying “It can totally handle this, and then the Purrloin dies.”
Nate Dude, tone down the racism just a tad.
Emma Um.... sorry sir. But wouldn't it be specieism?.... Just saying.
Nate I don't know! Or care really.
Emma S.....sss....sorry, sir.
Nate Yeah, it's fine. Let's just get to Virbank.

Nate After a little while traveling, I came upon a police blockade. There were three cops each with their hands on their poke-balls.
Police officer I'm sorry sir we cannot let you go any further. We are looking for a team-plasma criminal said to run off with a Mareep.
Nate Now even if Hugh hadn't said something about Floccesy ranch before he ran off the fact that Team-plasma was mentioned..... Let me guess, Hugh's in charge of this operation,
Police officer How did you kn....... I'm sorry sir, I cannot reveal that information.
Nate Right, I.... uh..... need to deliver something to Hugh. It's vital for his investigation. His sister, gave it to me. I'm Nate....
Police officer Nate! Oh follow me, Hugh said if you showed up to bring you to him to help in the investigation. Come with me, sir.
Nate Uh, sure. This development of events was different.... And with Hugh's temper tantrum earlier worrying.

Police officer Sir, your.... “Battle genius” has arrived.
Hugh Ah, thank you. You may go back to your post. So how are you doing, Nate?
Nate Tell me what in the abyss is going on. First you throw a temper tantrum when you lose. And now you're yet again accusing Team Plasma of stealing pokemon.... again. Then Hugh started laughing.
Hugh Wait.... hahhhh... Don't tell me you believed that. Hehh..... You did? Dude I was acting.
Nate ..... hm. Why?
Hugh Um that way you could get her in bed.
Nate What! Hugh!
Hugh Oh come on, she saves your life from the corrupt police officer, you offer to show her around town as thanks, one things leads to another.....
Nate Hugh! I'm not going to sleep with a girl I just met.
Hugh Oh, dude get off your high horse.
Nate Shouldn't that be high Rapidash?
Hugh What was that? Nevermind. Hugh said dismissively. So you just let the girl you think was smoking hot sail off into the sunset?
Nate Well.... Not exactly.... I did....get her number.
Hugh Really. I gave you a perfect opening, and all you did was get her number? Arceus Nate, you may be a good battler, but you are a terrible Pick up artist. That number's probably fake anyway.
Kevin Wow..... ******* And Kevin was saying what I was thinking, of course the fact that Hugh couldn't understand him kinda removed any impact.
Hugh Well you missed your chance with your dream girl, so big deal. How about me and you have another one on one battle, None of my police have returned yet.
Nate You promise not to throw another temper tantrum if you lose? I joked.
Hugh Yeah, yeah I won't lose. Go Snivy!
Nate Emma go! Emma and the Snivy glared at each other waiting for our commands.
Hugh Oh come on, you're not going to use your Oshawott?
Nate His name is Kevin, and no. He's at a type disadvantage.
Hugh Whatever his name is! I don't care. Arceus your being a coward. He scoffed.
Nate Yes, how dare I fight you with type neutrality.
Hugh Whatever.... Snivy vine whip
Nate Emma was knocked off her feet by the lashing vine. Emma use bite!
Emma Uhhh.... Yes captain, right away.
Hugh Snivy don't let it get close! Keep lashing at it with your vines!
Nate Emma tried to get close to the Snivy, but it couldn't make any progress with the vines tripping her and forcing her back. Eventually she bit one of the vines instead and the Snivy screamed in pain. Emma now's your chance.
Hugh Snivy finish it now!
Nate Then the Snivy did something completely unexpected. It wrapped the un-bitten vine around Emma's neck and started squeezing Hugh call off your Snivy!
Hugh ....
Nate Emma!
Emma no no no... No No No.... NO! Emma started struggling and flailing like a panicked rat. Managing to overpower the snivy, and get it's teeth in range of the vine around it's neck.
Nate Yeah, that's it! Bite it, get it away from you. Once the vine was bitten the Snivy couldn't maintain pressure anymore and Emma slipped out.
Emma I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Nate Emma return!
Hugh Coward! Send it back out!
Nate No! One of them is going to end up killing the other one. Let's call it a draw, okay.
Hugh No! Send it back out!
Nate You know what, fine. You win. I really do not care! What the hell was up with your Snivy trying to strangle Emma!? That's what I want to know.
Hugh I guess it just got caught up in the heat of the battle. Don't send your pokemon out if you're not prepared for it to die.
Nate .... I'm just going to go look for the stolen pokemon. What makes you think Team plasma took it anyway?
Hugh The thief shouted out. Team Plasma rules! And then ran off with the pokemon.
Nate .... That's it. Really. And it didn't occur to you, that perhaps the criminal is lying about it's affiliation?
Hugh Anyone that cares what pokemon want is an idiot.
Nate ******* I muttered under my breath.

So I think I will ask you a question, what do you feel are Nate and Hugh's alignments? (For those that play D&D, for those who don't, are they Good, Neutral, or Evil? Or you can substitute your favorite game system's alignment.)

And @Forrestfire Is this what you meant? Or did you want more pictures, less pictures?

[Forrestfire]

What I meant was more line breaks, but the pictures are pretty cool too.

Also, I've found that I don't like Hugh so far
Probably because I liked him in the game.

I feel like your Hugh is roughly Neutral so far, leaning more toward Law than Chaos. Nate seems Neutral Good.

[Illven]

What I meant was more line breaks, but the pictures are pretty cool too.

Also, I've found that I don't like Hugh so far
Probably because I liked him in the game.

I feel like your Hugh is roughly Neutral so far, leaning more toward Law than Chaos. Nate seems Neutral Good.

I figured I wanted to change the typical rival dynamic. Most times it's either they just met, or are BFF''s so I figured I'd go for a rapidly failing friendship.

[Dracarot]

*Picard facepalm* Yes Hugh believe somebody did something for some organization just because they claim to be a part of that organization. You sir a blood lusting, sexist, animal torturing, overzealous, uncaring, and best I can tell at the moment lawful evil punk who just happened to get a cop badge.

*Starts praying Hugh isn't representative of a significant proportion of Unovan society*

[Jothki]

Yeesh, harsh restrictions for Black/White 2. It takes a really long time in this game for plot enemies to start yielding a full team.

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What are you going to do with the Musketeers?

[Illven]

*Picard facepalm* Yes Hugh believe somebody did something for some organization just because they claim to be a part of that organization. You sir a blood lusting, sexist, animal torturing, overzealous, uncaring, and best I can tell at the moment lawful evil punk who just happened to get a cop badge.

*Starts praying Hugh isn't representative of a significant proportion of Unovan society*

Don't worry both Nate and Hugh are rather unusual compared to Unova.

Maybe he wasn't lawful evil when he got the badge.


About the organization thing, Nate's wrong in that, that's always what happens. I mean, I think it's dumb, but they always make an effort to announce their affiliation

[Dracarot]

Oh I know Plasma actually did it, (seeing as one of its two factions is the chief villain according to the knowledge I have on it), just pointing out that some terror organizations like to take credit for things they didn't do, or someone can claim the protection of an organization, etc. etc.

[Illven]

Oh I know Plasma actually did it, (seeing as one of its two factions is the chief villain according to the knowledge I have on it), just pointing out that some terror organizations like to take credit for things they didn't do, or someone can claim the protection of an organization, etc. etc.

Oh, yeah that was what Nate was getting at.

[manamyst]

i thought a story lock
was you can not buy pokeballs or evolve a pokrmon without droping vender loot like nugets

[Illven]

i thought a story lock
was you can not buy pokeballs or evolve a pokrmon without droping vender loot like nugets

No it's a nuzlocke where you write, instead of a comic, or a screenshot.

[RagingKrikkit]

Huh, didn't see this. Funny story, that question about Oshawott/Snivy was because I'd gotten Black 2 earlier that day and decided "What the hell, I'm gonna nuzlocke it."

[Illven]

Huh, didn't see this. Funny story, that question about Oshawott/Snivy was because I'd gotten Black 2 earlier that day and decided "What the hell, I'm gonna nuzlocke it."

May Arceus bless your pokemon.

I nuzlocke all my games now. Regular is just so boring for me.

[Illven]

Ch 4

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Nate Well I had found the stolen pokemon after a couple of searching for it, the thief was shouting out something about how Team Plasma rules. But the real Team Plasma wore a different outfit, so obviously he was trying to divert blame. After a quick battle the thief had no other pokemon, so he was forced to come with me. Hugh put him in handcuffs and tried to claim all the glory. With the cops it worked, but the ranch owners had seen me walk up with the thief, and in thanks they gave me one of their Mareep herd. A young girl named Tasha, who seemed very alert.

Nate I would have continued to Virbank, but that day I just wasn't feeling it, after what had happened to the cops. So I returned home for the night. The next morning as I was leaving town I saw a huge crowd around the community center.

Nate What's going on? I wondered.
Emma It's scary seeing that many people, can we go now?
Alexandria They should be worshiping me, not crowded around a building.
Tasha Oh, let's go see!
Bianca Nate! Is that you? A familiar voice exclaimed. Turning around, and seeing Bianca made my heart feel like it was trying to jackhammer itself out of my chest. I guess you heard then? She said with a smile.
Nate Uh, no actually. I was about to go see what was going on. I was nervously rubbing the back of my head.
Bianca Heh, it's your lucky day then. Your town has finally gotten a gym leader.
Nate Bianca, they always say things like that, but nothing ever happens.
Bianca Well they are opening up right now. If you're so sure it'll close down in a few days, Let me get you a battle now. She said with a smirk.
Nate You can do that?
Bianca Normally no, but I know the gym leader, and his buttons. She said as she lightly tugged me through the crowd.
Bianca Hey, Cheren. I've got your first challenger right here!
Cheren Bianca! What the.... Oh you brought your.... friend.
Nate Is there.... I started before Bianca interrupted.
Bianca Your first challenger, my present without a bow to you. Unless you don't think you can beat him. She said with a smirk.
Cheren Heh. Well one is as good as any-other I suppose. How many badges do you have?
Nate Uh, zero.
Cheren Well it'll be a quick battle if nothing else. Another thing, I sure you don't mind having this battle in front of a crowd they've been starved for a gym battle for so long.
Bianca Really Cheren, trying to intimidate the poor kid. Real mature of you!
Nate Heh, I'm not afraid. A bigger crowd just means more people to see his first loss. I replied faking confidence. Honestly it was my first gym battle, and inside I was terrified. But Cheren didn't like my remark. Glaring he called out.
Cheren I wonder? Have you faced death? A two-on-two battle to the death. He sent out his first pokemon a Patrat.
Nate Tasha, I choose you! I had seen what she could do to wild pokemon while going home last night.
Cheren Patrat, take it out!
Tasha I've got this, boss!

Nate The Patrat charged at Tasha with fangs opened wide. The Patrat bit into only the fleece of Tasha, and started pulling, causing pain but no real injury. Tasha responded with a electrical jolt. This caused chaotic movement in the Patrat, before Tasha whacked it with the ball on her tail, sending the Patrat flying.
Cheren Come on Patrat, don't give up now, get up and fight!
Nate Tash,a keep up the pressure.
Nate The Patrat stood up shakily as Tasha charged it. However, by the time Tasha had reached it, the Patrat had side-stepped, and headbutted it in the side.
Pokedex Critical hit!
Nate Tasha screamed in agony as the Patrat hit it, sinking to the ground. The Patrat started to descend on Tasha with a vicious hungry grin.
Nate Tasha zap it! Before it gets you! Tasha swung her tail wearily, but she managed a lucky connect and zapped the Patrat, driving it back. Tasha got up slowly in clear agony.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Nate The crowd chanted hungry for blood, and while Tasha and the Patrat were heavily injured no blood had spilled out yet.
Nate The Patrat struggled to get up this time, and swayed on its feet. Falling to all four for better balance it charged at Tasha. Tasha tried charging back but her front right leg was too injured and buckled under her. The Patrat bit Tasha on the forehead, managing only a nick, but it did what the crowd wanted, spewing blood everywhere. The Patrat gasped for breath.
Cheren Patrat, finish it now!
Nate Tasha look out! While the Patrat tried to catch it's breath, Tasha slowly spun around, and when she faced away from the Patrat she swung her tail over the Patrat's head, driving it into the ground with massive jolts of electricity. All the while, Tasha continued to drive the tail into the Patrat. The Patrat twitched upon the ground and laid still, as Tasha whined in agony.
Cheren Not bad, not bad at all. I wonder if you can handle my next pokemon. Lillipup, I choose you!

Nate Tasha, come back! But Tasha shook her head.
Tasha No, I can do this! I'm not dead yet!
Nate Tasha. I muttered. The Lillipup charged Tasha with blinding speed fresh from the poke-ball. Tasha tried to stand up again, but couldn't. The Lillipup bit Tasha on her tail and started shaking her. Tasha's tail flailed and even connected with the Lillipup a couple of times, but the lighting had no effect on the crazed beast. Then I heard a loud snap, and Tasha stopped struggling.
Nate Tasha!
Cheren Heh, I guess you haven't faced death before. So what will you do? Surrender or send out my next victim!
Nate Tasha! I'm sorry. The crowd cheered like mad as the Lillipup started eating Tasha. Kevin boiled with rage.
Kevin We'll talk about how you screwed up later. But if these monsters want a show, let me put on a show.
Nate Okay..... Kevin, I choose you!

Nate Kevin, reacted instantly without waiting for commands, blasting the Lillipup with a force spray of water. The water caught in by surprise, knocking it off its feet. Dazed, the Lillipup stood up and shook off the water.
Kevin Come at me, bro! Or does a little otter terrify you.
Cheren Lillipup! evade the water and take it out.
Nate The Lillipup charged Kevin at full speed, even faster then when it attacked Tasha, and Kevin sprayed another forceful blast of water. However, the Lillipup jumped high in the air, evading the blast. It came down on Kevin, and they both tumbled to the ground. Kevin!
Kevin I've got this!
Nate Both of the pokemon erupted into a vicious close-quarters melee, the crowd loved it and went wild. It only seemed a few seconds before the Lillipup had Kevin's tail in its mouth.
Kevin That's not going to work a second time, bitch!
Nate Unlike Tasha, who was too weak to put up much of a fight, Kevin managed to kick it in the eyes, stunning the Lillipup. Kevin then sprayed it with water, driving it off.
Cheren Lillipup take it out, weaken it first.
Nate The Lillipup cried out in pain before responding as its right eye had a layer of blood over it. However, it still charged, and this time grabbed Kevin by the arm.
Kevin Ah! Arceus!
Nate Kevin cried out as the Lillipup tried to bring it down.
Crowd Yeah, tear it apart!
Crowd No! Punch it in the other eye!
Nate Kevin did exactly that, punching the Lillipup with his other hand, hard. Repeatedly. Eventually, dazed, the Lillipup let go of Kevin. Kevin took the opportunity to blast it hard with a forceful spray of water.
Cheren Lillipup, don't you dare fail me. Kill it now!
Nate Blinded by blood, half mad by pain. The Lillipup still charged this time with a vicious desperation bringing Kevin down to the ground again. But this time it was too injured, to do much more. Kevin sprayed another forceful blast of water and sent the Lillipup into the sky. When the Lillipup fell to the ground it did not get up again, and the crowd went nuts.

Nate Me and Bianca were in the building, spared from the crowds chaos. Cheren walked over to us.
Bianca What in the endless plains of the abyss was that!? You may have used the right pokemon, but you were way too rough! Cheren didn't even look at her.
Cheren Here is your basic badge. Nate. This is your first step on your journey to become champion. He sighed. You know if I had used my real team you would have lost.
Bianca Yes, very good Cheren. You could beat someone that's had pokemon for all of a day. Truly you are a master trainer.
Cheren Oh, just get out you two, You have your badge, and I have other trainers to fight.
Nate We left though a backdoor to try and avoid the crowds. Thankfully this worked, and once we left the building, I asked Bianca Is there something between you two.
Bianca There was, two years ago. But he's so damned obsessed with being the strongest, I felt he had no time for me. Like I came second in his life. He had gotten better for awhile, but when Hilbert was praised all over Unova as the legendary hero, Cheren.... Well, he snapped, and he became worse then he ever had been. I was shoved aside for more training, more drills with his pokemon. I told him I wasn't going to be second anymore, and left. Heh. We're still polite when we meet each other, but we haven't been friends since then.
Nate I'm so sorry.
Bianca Heh. I'm not. He made his choice, I'm just sorry your mareep had to pay the price.
Nate Right, Tasha.....

Tasha the Mareep Lv 5-13 R.I.P

Our first death. What did you think of the gym battle?

This update would have had photo's but photobucket decided to be a pain, and say something about invalid file type.

The gym battle (For those interested.)

Spoiler

Show

Steven sent out Tasha, Cheren sent out Patrat

Round 1 Tasha used Thunder wave. Patrat was paralyzed, Patrat used Work up. Patrat's Attack and Special attack rose.
Round 2 Tasha used Thundershock. Patrat is fully paralyzed.
Round 3 Tasha used Thundershock. Patrat used Tackle. Critical hit. Tasha ate an oran berry.
Round 4 Cheren used a potion. Tasha used Thundershock.
Round 5 Steven used an Oran berry. Patrat used Tackle.
Round 6 Steven used a potion. Patrat is fully paralyzed.
Round 7 Tasha used Thundershock. Patrat fainted.
Cheren sent out Lillipup
Round 8 Lillipup used Work up. Lilliup's Attack and Special attack rose. Tasha used Thunder wave. Lillipup was paralyzed.
Round 9 Tasha used Thundershock. Lillipup used Work up. Lillipup's Attack and Special attack rose.
Round 10 Tasha used Thundershock. Lillipup used Tackle.
Round 11 Tasha used Growl. Lillipup's attack fell. Lillipup used Tackle. Tasha fainted.
Steven sent out Kevin.
Round 12 Kevin used Water gun. Lillipup used Tackle.
Round 13 Kevin used Water gun. Lillipup fainted.
Steven won.

[Forrestfire]

Not much else I can say.

Except that the line breaks definitely made it easier to read.

[Illven]

Not much else I can say.

Except that the line breaks definitely made it easier to read.

Work up+STAB is too OP for the first gym in my opinion, but I'm probably biased.

Thank you, any other advice?

[Forrestfire]

Well, I greatly enjoy your work as it is. However, and I really hate to be a grammar nazi, and it wasn't that jarring or anything, so maybe it's just me, there's a few spelling and grammatical errors in there, such as lack of a comma where a pause occurs in the sentence.

Why do I have to care about grammar so much? Ugh.

[Illven]

Well, I greatly enjoy your work as it is. However, and I really hate to be a grammar nazi, and it wasn't that jarring or anything, so maybe it's just me, there's a few spelling and grammatical errors in there, such as lack of a comma where a pause occurs in the sentence.

Why do I have to care about grammar so much? Ugh.

It's fine, just put any mistakes I've made into spoilers.

[Dracarot]

First fatality... ouch.

Good grief what happened to Unova society, why are they so involved in blood lust, what happened to Gene Roddenberry's future of humanity coming together and tackling almost all of the problems of society.