Results 271 to 300 of 1475
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2009-08-31, 03:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Umael: I think you're right on the one hand, it's weird that E & M view it as a 'total hands-off forever'. On the other hand, it's plentry reasonable for one friend to call dibs and the other to be respectful and give friend #1 a fair shot at seeing where it goes. It's part of the social construct, you don't want to be playing against one another for the same guy cuz then it'll just get ugly. But I certainly wouldn't regard it as anything more than a temporary dibs - you get to take a crack at it, then someone else can take a turn.
Man, Serp is gonna smack someone upside the head with all of this friend zone talk... the friend zone is BS. (She says it more eloquently...) The right approach has been put forward already, in all of the situations presented for advice: Go for it. Ask the girl out, no pressure, no profession of undying love. Just take the leap and get yourself established as someone who wants to spend time with her [and possibly more]. My girlfriend was into me way before I realized I was into her, but held back on saying anything because 'that's what girls do'. I understand where she's coming from as a stupid cultural thing, but when I think that we could have gotten together months earlier, sheee! Stupid cultural thing indeed!
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2009-08-31, 03:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Actually, I'm okay with that part.
The issue is:
Apparently she believes that it breaks some kind of cultural taboo that if your girl friend (not girlfriend) is dating, has dated, or is thinking about dating some guy, he is FOREVER off the list of potential dates.
Girl friend dating him? He's off-limits.
Girl friend dated him once last week? He's off-limits.
Girl friend dated him for two years, relationship ended badly? He's off-limits.
Girl friend dated him ten years ago, broke up amicably, she really wants him to find someone good for him, he's perfect? He's off-limits.
What's next?
Girl friend dated him in a former life? He's off-limits.
Girl friend looked funny at him? He's off-limits.
Girl friend dated him once, gave the go-ahead? I just spoke with E. about this, and surprise, surprise! He's off-limits!
Makes no sense. Zero. Zilch. None. Nada.
(Oh, and if someone ever says "it's okay, go for it", and I do, he or she better not turn around and say, "you went for it?! how could you!?" They pull that on me, I go for the throat.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.)1. Have fun. It's only a game.
2. The GM has the final say. Everyone else is just a guest.
3. The game is for the players. A proper host entertains one's guests.
4. Everyone is allowed an opinion. Some games are not as cool as they seem.
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2009-08-31, 03:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Sounds like a job for better friend selection?
Meh. The worst is when they never say anything and expect one to know that someone is off limits because they have a crush that they'll never act on and then try to stab ya. That was a weird bit of drama. Not nearly as entertaining as when two pregnant women are trying to cause the other to miscarriage in a fight over the baby-daddy.
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2009-08-31, 04:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Location
- Indiana
- Gender
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2009-08-31, 05:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Well, having to run to the bathroom before I lost control of my bowels from the terror of these really big and angry pregnant 15 year olds certainly occupied my attention in highschool. Especially if I were anywhere near the path between the two of them. Hoo boy.
But they were the longest running fights back in highschool. Like. Lasted a good 5-10 minutes rather than being over in about a minute after finally starting like the guy fights got. Unless it descended into an all out brawl. But that only happened twice.
I remember one of the principals needing a shot after getting bitten by an angry, frothing at the mouth girl once.
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2009-08-31, 05:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
My school is the same way. I've seen girls stop in mid-conversation, lunge across the hallway, and attempt to strangle their competition. Friggin' monogamy and its ability to induce violence.
@Umael: I've heard some variations of that, but not from anyone mature. What country are you in, and how old are the friends in question?
@Everyone who wants advice about their secret crush: Tell him/her. As soon as possible. Be confident, don't say "I love you", don't vomit out half-witted compliments, and imply that you've only recently noticed that you're interested in him/her. Don't lie to his/her face, but don't tell them you've been madly in love with them for months either. I'm not sure about guys, but most girls think it's creepy when male friends lust for them for long periods of time without telling them. And trust me, I know all about what girls think is creepy. I'm the Restraining Order Guy.
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2009-08-31, 05:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
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2009-08-31, 05:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
1. Have fun. It's only a game.
2. The GM has the final say. Everyone else is just a guest.
3. The game is for the players. A proper host entertains one's guests.
4. Everyone is allowed an opinion. Some games are not as cool as they seem.
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2009-08-31, 06:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
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2009-08-31, 08:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- The Pits of Hell
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
You know when you think your over someone and everything is going alright but then a tiny tiny thing reminds you of your ex? Well that has been happening to me every day it seems like. I just cant get her out of my head its like she has some sick hold over me or something. I hate it. My one friend i actually talk to about this stuff is just mad at me since according to her i am not over my ex, which is probably true. Small things remind me of her. Like driving down a street i would commonly go down to see her. Or when i was in Meijer and i remember a time when i randomly ran into her in the store.
It is getting annoying having her constantly come up in my thinking. With this though comes the feeling of regret and wanting a redo and all that crappy stuff. Really all i am doing here is venting since it seems like i have no where else to go to. But any advice you guys have on keeping my mind off of her would be great i guess.
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2009-08-31, 08:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Strange. It's especially odd how all of your friends seem to agree on this. Maybe it's just your state or even your town.
Well, every place has its own weird customs. About a year ago I spent some time in a town where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. And referencing Firefly.
It takes different people different amounts of time to get over a breakup. Unless it's been more than 6 months since the end, you're probably taking it well enough. Sometimes it helps to start seeing someone else as soon as possible.
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2009-08-31, 08:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
I now confess my undying admiration of Jalor. You are a god amongst men for that surprisingly subtle use of Firefly.
On ex's friends and friend's exes: I'm of the mind that I won't date a friends ex or an ex's friend for pure drama-reduction purposes. This is not a hard and fast rule, dependant upon the following: A. compatibility, B. what the former relationship was like, C. my/the ex's relationship with the friend in question, D. the friend or ex's blessing upon the relationship.
If an acquaintence dated this guy 3 years ago for a couple months, I'd date him. If a good friend had a bad break up I'd actually probably never date the guy based upon knowledge of the break up, but assuming amicability, I'd NEED to get my friend's blessing in order to not feel like a Grade A ass for dating him. If it's an ex's best friend...once again, I'd want the best friend to get the blessing of the ex, or do so myself (I'd hope I'm on OK terms with an ex in that situation).
For me it's out of respect for my friend and/or ex. Of course there are exceptions, and crushes are exempt unless it is a current crush and/or attempts are being made at going past the crush line into relationship territory.
I think A, Oz's ex, said it best. It was really weird for a friend of hers to start dating an ex of her's, because they were Friend and Friend Ex, and those were their 'statuses' and it was kinda weird that they were getting together, despite friendship with both and not liking Ex anymore. It wasn't weird becoming friends with me, despite my dating her ex, because I was never Friend before. I am Friend now, but I began as Ex's Girlfriend. (She has a habit of dating long-time guy friends and they figure out post-dating they make much better friends then lovers.)
I think a lot has to do with categorization prior to the dating.Last edited by Syka; 2009-08-31 at 08:43 PM.
Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause I envy the way that you move
Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause I want something a little bit louder
Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause you're brilliant when you try
Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
-Matt Nathanson "Pretty the World"
Various Syka-Foxes done by the wonderful Ceika
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2009-08-31, 08:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- The Pits of Hell
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Jalor- its been since late december/early january since the break up.
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2009-08-31, 10:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Location
- Indiana
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Okay, I've got a problem that under the rules I cannot (and more to the point, will not) discuss on the board (and the will not applies to anywhere else public as well). If someone who can handle (and know what he or she is talking about concerning) mature topics, keep a level head, and most importantly can keep his or her trap shut (please) could contact me by PM or IM (relevant contact info is listed in my profile) to talk and hopefully advise, I'd appreciate it."Courage is the complement of fear. A fearless man cannot be courageous. He is also a fool." -- Robert Heinlein
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2009-08-31, 10:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Last edited by Roland St. Jude; 2009-08-31 at 10:58 PM.
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2009-08-31, 11:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
*examines "Super Moderator" title, "Archangel in the Playground" custom rank and current avatar*
Of course. Exceptional humility.
Here's a quick one: Do any of you have "No" buttons that are an automatic turnoff, and what would you do if one was pushed during the relationship?
I'm not talking about "eats infants" here, nor about political or religious views, but things like smoking or recreational drug use?Last edited by afroakuma; 2009-08-31 at 11:07 PM.
Need a place to hang? Like Discord? Don't mind dealing with a capricious demon lord? Then you're welcome to join our LGBTQ+ friendly, often silly, very geeky server to discuss food, music, video games, tabletop, and much more.
Manual of the Planes 5th Edition: for all the things the official 5E Planescape didn't cover. Check it out.
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2009-08-31, 11:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Location
- Indiana
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
"Courage is the complement of fear. A fearless man cannot be courageous. He is also a fool." -- Robert Heinlein
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2009-09-01, 12:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
The one dealbreaker I've discovered is an inability to look me in the eye while you're talking.
Not, like, only occasionally has trouble maintaining eye contact; that isn't a problem, it just means you're embarrassed. But being unable to look me in the face at all now sets off all sorts of warning bells.Avatar by CrimsonAngel
Slaanesh wants you to click this.
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2009-09-01, 05:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Blatantly fishing for compliments. Addiction to alcohol or another hard drug; recreational use I can deal with. Being embarrassed to be seen with me. Being excessively clingy. Being rude to my friends.
I often overlook massive personality flaws in relationships, but some things I just don't stand for.
*sigged*
@evil-frosty That's pretty long ago. Have you had any other relationships since then?
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2009-09-01, 05:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- The Pits of Hell
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Yes Jalor i had one but it really wasnt an actual relationship as she just said yes because she could/didnt want to say no. Dont we really consider that one a relationship.
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2009-09-01, 08:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- A Fine Shanty Town
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
*Splendid Goatatar by that cool kid Serpentine
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world"
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2009-09-01, 08:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Gender
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2009-09-01, 09:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Smoking is a big one for me seeing as, well, it can kill me. Alcohol isn't an automatic no but if it's drinking in excess (ie, signs of alcoholism) it's a no-go. Drug use, mostly because it's illegal but pot only because of the smoking issue above. Dishonesty, any form of abuse (physical or emotional), cheating. Stuff that won't let a relationship get off the ground is stuff like incompatibilities in religion and politics (I don't mean we have different views, I mean one of us is trying to convert the other to our side), inability to have intellectual conversations, etc.
Mostly the smoking, dishonesty, and cheating are the dealbreakers I've encountered within relationships or potential relationships.
Renegade, sending you a PM. Pretty much nothing offends me and what is said in PM, stays private.Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause I envy the way that you move
Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause I want something a little bit louder
Show me how pretty the world is
'Cause you're brilliant when you try
Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
-Matt Nathanson "Pretty the World"
Various Syka-Foxes done by the wonderful Ceika
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2009-09-01, 09:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- London, Yewkay
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
"instant no button"
turns offs for me are
- introveinous drug use (im pretty liberal about most other things, despite my personal abstinance, as long as the lass doesn;t change into something i find unnattractive on drugs),
- the uncreative. Women with no imagination bore me senseless.
- Clinginess and paranoia are usually no goes for me too especially when the baggage stems from a previous relationship. There was one exception to this, and in her case, she made a great deal of effort to overcome her issues, and was an adult and appologised when ever it cropped up. Still it was a factor that contributed to the demise of that relationship - kinda a mutual "im not ready for this"/"yeah, not gunna argue with you there"
- women who are too shy. Shyness can be adorable, but when they're so shy they can't even express themselves... no thanks
re the HANDS OFF FOREVER:
If they whinge about it, they're either 15 (you can get away with it at that age), or still acting like they're 15. If you're approaching 30 and still trying to play dibs over "oh i have a crush on him, hands off" its a bit silly. Its a bit silly to turn someone down just because your friend likes them.
Actively c*ckblocking a friend is a bit of a no-no... but if you deal with it maturely (having a quiet word in private), then friends who are adults should be ok with it, and be able to grasp the concept of not rubbing it in each others faces
friends exs - depends on the break up. If they can't stand to see them be happy with a friend, then they're not over it - simple as that.
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2009-09-01, 10:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Just wanted to clarify this bit - I only have two co-workers whom I consider friends. Most of my friends are outside work, and they do not have the same view.
Re: Turn Offs
For one to display a smallness of mind and attitude, closed to possibility and sluggish to change, to be not just dull of senses and sensibility, but of tongue and talent, belittling the vastness they do not understand and held without the beauty that is the childlike wonder - this is anathema to I.
To hold disproportionate their skewed and wretched mockery that they call justice whichs grants unto them by self-appointed mandate an over-abundance of center rights to all things properly belonging to others, not just of property, but of culture and dignity, holding to ill-placed anger when denied such.1. Have fun. It's only a game.
2. The GM has the final say. Everyone else is just a guest.
3. The game is for the players. A proper host entertains one's guests.
4. Everyone is allowed an opinion. Some games are not as cool as they seem.
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2009-09-01, 05:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Esslingen, Germany
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Turn offs:
- Being dull and boring.
- Bad personality - I'd like to say, but you don't notice these things until it's too late.Last edited by Silfir; 2009-09-01 at 05:11 PM.
This signature is boring. The stuff I write might not be. Warning: Ponies.
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2009-09-01, 06:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
Generally when someone doesn't want to say no, it's because they want to say yes. But I sort of understand. I think I've had similar experiences.
How are you about seeking another girlfriend? Any girls you might be interested in? Remember, the best way to get rid of bad memories is to make better ones.
@Renegade: See recently revised sig. And remember that absolutely nothing offends me.
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2009-09-01, 06:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
If anyone is interested in helping someone who's been hurt, I"m here. I can't reference what happened to me because of hte board rules.
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2009-09-01, 06:13 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
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2009-09-01, 06:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Esslingen, Germany
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice, Trip to Baator
For what it's worth, mine too.
This signature is boring. The stuff I write might not be. Warning: Ponies.