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  1. - Top - End - #601
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Silverraptor's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    A nice, sparkly place.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Well, it's time for part 4 of the Inkyrius series.

    Remember, if you have trouble reading the yellow wording, just highlight it.

    Spoiler
    Show

    *Groan* The imp lifts himself off the floor. What happened?

    Excellent. You successfully fast healed.

    The imp looks around and see's the three fiends looking at him from a doorway. What are you doing?

    Well after you passed out from the combination of lethal and non-lethal damage, we thought it best to protect ourselves from the same fate.

    That's why we are standing here in this doorway, to avoid looking at the screen.

    Why don't you just turn it off then?

    No. No, no, no. We are enjoying how things are unfolding in between the elves.

    That's why you are going to look at the screen and tell us when the danger has passed.

    WHAT?! ME?!

    That's what we said. You've already seen the horror, so this prevents us from having to go through theorpy.

    Though I may go through it anyways, just for imagination alone.

    Besides, being our employee, this is a task we assign to you. Now do your labor and look at the screen.

    Grrrr. Fine. The imp looks at the screen. Hey! It looks like Vaarsuvius passes out as well. Inkyrius just dismissed the tenticles spell.

    The three fiends quickly gather on the couch.

    Hurry! Turn it up!

    *Click*

    "I can't believe you collapsed this early. You survived longer in bed. And you've gained a few more hit dice since then. Evards Black tenticle. Although it could be because my caster level is so high that the spell was stronger then intended. Oh well, I still have other phases of my plan yet to preform. Greater Teleport."

    *pop*

    Where'd the elf go?

    Not sure, but it'll probably be back.

    How do you know?

    The fiend points at the black tenticles that sprang from the ground and wrapped themselves around the unconscious form of Vaarsuvius. That's to keep the Vaarsuvius from going anywhere.

    I see, because Inkyrius knows that Vaarsuvius has a strength penalty.

    I'm adding another image in my head to theropy.

    Don't you want to follow Inkyrius though?

    Naaah. We want it to be a surprise.

    What's the point of knowing everything? Then you couldn't enjoy everything. Right?

    I guess...

    Hey guys, the elfs back.

    ******************************************

    Vaarsuvius's eyes slowly opened. Head was spinning from the ordeal. Could still feel the pain from the last spell in the targeted area. It took a little while to realize the arms and legs were entangled by tenticles.

    "Wh-What happened?"

    "Ah! Good. You're finally awake."

    "In-Inkyrius? What's going on?"

    "Well, revenge on you was only the first step. There's someone else who needs punishment. She's right over there." Inkyrius points to a red haired human figure.

    "INKYRIUS!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?"

    Haley was completly stripped of clothes. She also was dancing in an extremely suggestive fashion. Pain was obvious on her face.

    "I'm giving the little slut the pain she deserves."

    "What kind of spell is this?!"

    The tenticles Lifted V into the air to the same height as Inkyrius.

    "Like it? It's Inkyrius's Maximized Continous Irresistable Dance. As you can see, it's simular to the original irresistable dance, but at alot higher level. The spell is intesified to last 1d4+1 rounds/caster level. Since mine is so relatively high at the moment, and I maximized the spell, I estimate that she would be dancing for over 6 hours staight."

    "Why would you do such a thing?"

    "Like I said, the slut is getting what she deserved in getting me to perform in that adultry while you excused the divorce case. That's why she's going to die dancing as a whore for my enjoyment. It hasn't been a third of the casting time and she's already taken quite a bit of non-lethal damage from exhaustion. As soon as it accumulates high enough where she passes out, the spell will keep her body dancing and she'll start taking lethal damage. When that gets high enough, well, you know the result."

    "How'd you get her alone anyways? She was with Elan."

    "Oh, you mean that idiot blond human. He was easy. Just conjured up an illusion for an eye-patch stand."

    "Inkyrius, please, don't do this!"

    "It's actually your fault for including her in your plan."

    "It was not my plan but hers!"

    "... If your still trying to convince me to stop, your doing a rather poor job of it."

    "No! Not convince you. But to tell you the truth. I feel I owe you a complete explaination for everything."

    "Well, how ever much I'm sure most of it will be a lie. I'm very much interested in what you have to say. So start talking."

    "You know how I left, sent off by my teacher, I was still trying to further my magic. Eventually I met Miss Starshine on my travels. She introduced me to life as an adventurer, and I met up with the rest of the group."

    "Oh, thank you for reminding me. They're in on it as well, right? Well then, I'll pay them a visit after all this is over, with more imaginative doom for them."

    "NO! DON'T! Inkyrius! My group and I are for the benefit of everyone. Including our children."

    "SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! I will not have you lie that you cared at all about the benefit of me or our children!"

    "No, it's true."

    "HOW?! What could you have possibly been doing that would help me and our adopted children?! The only thing I can think of is saving us from a mad dragon by taking this exact deal from the fiends! The same dragon I may add that came after us because of you in the first place! I even told you to drop the deal, but you had other needs before our own!"

    "Inkyrius, my group has stumbled upon an evil that threatens to destroy the entire multiverse. An evil so great, that it would destroy the very souls of our children, not just their lives! That is why I couldn't stay behind with you! The position I was in was too much of a responsibility. I had to bring the group trying to stop the apocalypse together so that they can work properly together after being separated!"

    "If that was the only reason, then I'm still not impressed."

    "No, that wasn't the only reason. For after I brought them together, I saw a chance to stop the evil from bringing the destruction. I attacked it at it's heart, trying to defeat it. Had I succeeded, then there would've been nothing to threaten our family again. I could have gone home to live with you once again. I spent that deal doing the best for us, alot more then you did that's for sure. Imagine our children's expressions when they find out that you have made the same deal their other parent had made just for petty revenge."

    "Petty revenge you call it! With her involved?!"

    "Like I said, it was not my idea. The party realized I was stressed over an issue and they eventually got it out of me. They decided that it was for the best intrest to delay your divorce long enough to defeat the evil, then I could sit down and make it up to you. I had no idea what they planned on doing until it was done."

    "Make it up to me? Don't make me laugh. What could you possibly say that would make me forgive you? What?!"

    "Our wedding day."

    "What?"

    "Yes. Our wedding day. That was the happiest moment in my life. That one day brought me more happiness then any day studing and researching a spell would ever do. Those moments we spent together, just the two of us, are more precious to me then my spell books. Whenever I tranced, most of the visions were of those happy moments together."

    "You... really did feel that way with me?"

    "Yes. I never would have wanted to intentionally hurt you. But my obligation to protecting the Multiverse was more important then staying at home with you, was because it also involved you. More then just you. It involved your safetly. That is why I left when I did."

    Inkyrius looks at Vaarsuvius in stunned silence. In unison, the tenticles and Inkyrius lowered themselves down to the ground. Vaarsuvius winced as the legs supported the weight. The pain was still there.

    "I...I don't know what to say..."

    In answer, Vaarsuvius hugged Inkyrius and kissed the elf intently. Ignoring the fangs and the pain, Vaarasuvius kept the imbrace. It wasn't long before Inkyrius was returning it, having been reminded of why the elf fell in love with Vaarsuvius in the first place. The logic and feelings that they shared was more perfect then anyone elses.

    At once, Vaarsuvius felt the deal break. The fangs dissappeared. The new set of clothes Inkyrius had from the deal like wise was replaced with the elfs old set of clothes. Cracking open an eye, Vaarsuvius looked at Haley. The elf witnessed her campanion stop dancing and fall to the ground. She had enough energy to look at Vaarsuvius and give a "Thank you" smile, before falling unconcious. A load "Caw" informed Vaarsuvius that Blackwings spell had also been lifted. The bird was flying this way.

    "Well I'm glad you guys finally made u-"

    Vaarsuvius used a silent Hold Monster on the bird to prevent the familiar from ruining the moment. For once in a long time, everything was as it should be.

    ******************************************

    Awww... isn't that sweet.

    Yes, a nice happy ending for the two elves.

    And our backup plan has just gotten even better.

    Backup plan?

    Oh right, you don't know.

    Well, yeterday it came to our attention that the time we gathered on controlling Vaarsuvuis may not have been enough.

    We realized we miscalculated one thing, Vaarsuvius's party.

    You see, it is well known that PC's are widely unpredictable and masters at screwing up plans.

    This of course is an understatement.

    And our approximate hour of hold may be thwarted by the band of adventures.

    Thus leading us to developing a backup plan.

    And what is this backup plan?

    Simple, Vaarsuvius's mate.

    I don't get it.

    We know that Vaarsuvius cares very much for his adopted children. (Don't you dare correct me on the gender) So if we could gain ahold of Vaarsuvius's mate's soul for atleast 10 min. then everything would right itself.

    How?

    If Vaasuvius's time elapses before our use of the elf is complete. We threaten.

    We remind the elf that we still hold the mate's soul as our own.

    And thus another deal is made.

    Vaarsuvius completes what we want, and we forget all the time the mate's soul belongs to us?

    Why would Vaarsuvius agree to that?

    Because the children our involved.

    We could, say, turn Inkyrius insane and start torturing the children with knives before killing them.

    Can you imagine the horror those kids will remember in the afterlife when their own loving parent decides to do horrible things to them?

    So that was our basis of our backup plan.

    Fortunatly, it it got even better.

    For since the love has been repaired, we can add the mate in the list of hostages as well.

    Man! You guys are Evil!

    Thank you.

    What a great compliment.

    But this flattery won't give you a raise, though.


    This went better then I expected. I want everyone to comment on this. As much as you can think of. I REALLY want to know how well I did.
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-30 at 12:47 PM.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

    *Avatar by Me*

  2. - Top - End - #602
    Banned
     
    Closak's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Where the dragons are
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    ...
    ...
    ...


    Oh gods

    Elan x ABD.
    Plot device: "Kidnapping" and "Aliens made them do it"



    Help?

  3. - Top - End - #603
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Well, it's time for part 4 of the Inkyrius series.

    Remember, if you have trouble reading the yellow wording, just highlight it.

    Spoiler
    Show

    *Groan* The imp lifts himself off the floor. What happened?

    Excellent. You successfully fast healed.

    The imp looks around and see's the three fiends looking at him from a doorway. What are you doing?

    Well after you passed out from the combination of lethal and non-lethal damage, we thought it best to protect ourselves from the same fate.

    That's why we are standing here in this doorway, to avoid looking at the screen.

    Why don't you just turn it off then?

    No. No, no, no. We are enjoying how things are unfolding in between the elves.

    That's why you are going to look at the screen and tell us when the danger has passed.

    WHAT?! ME?!

    That's what we said. You've already seen the horror, so this prevents us from having to go through theorpy.

    Though I may go through it anyways, just for imagination alone.

    Besides, being our employee, this is a task we assign to you. Now do you labor and look at the screen.

    Grrrr. Fine. The imp looks at the screen. Hey! It looks like Vaarsuvius passes out as well. Inkyrius just dismissed the tenticles spell.

    The three fiends quickly gather on the couch.

    Hurry! Turn it up!

    *Click*

    "I can't believe you collapsed this early. You survived longer in bed. And you've gained a few more hit dice since then. Evards Black tenticle. Although it could be because my caster level is so high that the spell was stronger then intended. Oh well, I still have other phases of my plan yet to preform. Greater Teleport."

    *pop*

    Where'd the elf go?

    Not sure, but it'll probably be back.

    How do you know?

    The fiend points at the black tenticles that sprang from the ground and wrapped themselves around the unconscious form of Vaarsuvius. That's to keep the Vaarsuvius from going anywhere.

    I see, because Inkyrius knows that Vaarsuvius has a strength penalty.

    I'm adding another image in my head to theropy.

    Don't you want to follow Inkyrius though?

    Naaah. We want it to be a surprise.

    What's the point of knowing everything? Then you couldn't enjoy everything. Right?

    I guess...

    Hey guys, the elfs back.

    ******************************************

    Vaarsuvius's eyes slowly opened. Head was spinning from the ordeal. Could still feel the pain from the last spell in the area's targeted. It took a little while to realize the arms and legs were entangled by tenticles.

    "Wh-What happened?"

    "Ah! Good. You're finally awake."

    "In-Inkyrius? What's going on?"

    "Well, revenge on you was only the first step. There's someone else who needs punishment. She's right over there." Inkyrius points to a red haired human figure.

    "INKYRIUS!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?"

    Haley was completly stripped of clothes. She also was dancing in an extremely suggestive fashion. Pain was obvious on her face.

    "I'm giving the little slut the pain she deserves."

    "What kind of spell is this?!"

    The tenticles Lifted V into the air to the same height as Inkyrius.

    "Like it? It's Inkyrius's Maximized Continous Irresistable Dance. As you can see, it's simular to the original irresistable dance, but at alot higher level. The spell is intesified to last 1d4+1 rounds/caster level. Since mine is so relatively high at the moment, and I maximized the spell, I estimate that she would be dancing for over 6 hours staight."

    "Why would you do such a thing?"

    "Like I said, the slut is getting what she deserved in getting me to perform in that adultry while you excused the divorce case. That's why she's going to die dancing as a whore for my enjoyment. It hasn't been a third of the casting time and she's already taken quite a bit of non-lethal damage from exhaustion. As soon as it accumulates high enough where she passes out, the spell will keep her body dancing and she'll start taking lethal damage. When that gets high enough, well, you know the result."

    "How'd you get her alone anyways? She was with Elan."

    "Oh, you mean that idiot blond human. He was easy. Just conjured up an illusion for an eye-patch stand."

    "Inkyrius, please, don't do this!"

    "It's actually your fault for including her in your plan."

    "It was not my plan but hers!"

    "... If your still trying to convince me to stop, your doing a rather poor job of it."

    "No! Not convince you. But to tell you the truth. I feel I owe you a complete explaination for everything."

    "Well, how ever much I'm sure most of it will be a lie. I'm very much interested in what you have to say. So start talking."

    "You know how I left, sent off by my teacher, I was still trying to further my magic. Eventually I met Miss Starshine on my travels. She introduced me to life as an adventurer, and I met up with the rest of the group."

    "Oh, thank you for reminding me. They're in on it as well, right? Well then, I'll pay them a visit after all this is over, with more imaginative doom for them."

    "NO! DON'T! Inkyrius! My group and I are for the benefit of everyone. Including our children."

    "SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! I will not have you lie that you cared at all about the benefit of me or our children!"

    "No, it's true."

    "HOW?! What could you have possibly been doing that would help me and our adopted children?! The only thing I can think of is saving us from a mad dragon by taking this exact deal from the fiends! The same dragon I may add that came after us because of you in the first place! I even told you to drop the deal, but you had other needs before our own!"

    "Inkyrius, my group has stumbled upon an evil that threatens to destroy the entire multiverse. An evil so great, that it would destroy the very souls of our children, not just their lives! That is why I couldn't stay behind with you! The position I was in was too much of a responsibility. I had to bring the group trying to stop the apocalypse together so that they can work properly together after being separated!"

    "If that was the only reason, then I'm still not impressed."

    "No, that wasn't the only reason. For after I brought them together, I saw a chance to stop the evil from bringing the destruction. I attacked it at it's heart, trying to defeat it. Had I succeded, then there would've been nothing to threaten our family again. I could have gone home to live with you once again. I spent that deal doing the best for us, alot more then you did that's for sure. Imagine our children's expressions when they find out that you have made the same deal their other parent had made just for petty revenge."

    "Petty revenge you call it! With her involved?!"

    "Like I said, it was not my idea. The party realized I was stressed over an issue and they eventually got it out of me. They decided that it was for the best intrest to delay your divorce long enough to defeat the evil, then I could sit down and make it up to you. I had no idea what they planned on doing until it was done."

    "Make it up to me? Don't make me laugh. What could you possibly say that would make me forgive you? What?!"

    "Our wedding day."

    "What?"

    "Yes. Our wedding day. That is the happiest moment in my life. That one day brought me more happiness then any day studing and researching a spell would ever do. Those moments we spent together, just the two of us, are more precious to me then my spell books. Whenever I tranced, most of the visions were of those happy moments together."

    "You... really did feel that way with me?"

    "Yes. I never would have wanted to intentionally hurt you. But my obligation to protecting the Multiverse was more important then staying at home with you, was because it also involved you. More then just you. It involved your safetly. That is why I left when I did."

    Inkyrius looks at Vaarsuvius in stunned silence. In unison, the tenticles and Inkyrius lowered themselves down to the ground. Vaarsuvius winced as the legs supported the weight. The pain was still there.

    "I...I don't know what to say..."

    In answer, Vaarsuvius hugged Inkyrius and kissed the elf intently. Ignoring the fangs and the pain, Vaarasuvius kept the imbrace. It wasn't long before Inkyrius was returning it, having been reminded of why the elf fell in love with Vaarsuvius in the first place. The logic and feelings that they shared was more perfect then anyone elses.

    At once, Vaarsuvius felt the deal break. The fangs dissappeared. The new set of clothes Inkyrius had from the deal like wise was replaced with the elfs old set of clothes. Cracking open an eye, Vaarsuvius looked at Haley. The elf witnessed her campanion stop dancing and fall to the ground. She had enough energy to look at Vaarsuvius and give a "Thank you" smile, before falling unconcious. A load "Caw" informed Vaarsuvius that Blackwings spell had also been lifted. The bird was flying this way.

    "Well I'm glad you guys finally made u-"

    Vaarsuvius used a silent Hold Monster on the bird to prevent the familiar from ruining the moment. For once in a long time, everything was as it should be.

    ******************************************

    Awww... isn't that sweet.

    Yes, a nice happy ending for the two elves.

    And our backplan as just gotten even better.

    Backup plan?

    Oh right, you don't know.

    Well, yeterday it came to our attention that the time we gathered on controlling Vaarsuvuis may not have been enough.

    We realized we miscalculated one thing, Vaarsuvius's party.

    You see, it is well known that PC's are widely unpredictable and masters at screwing up plans.

    This of course is an understatement.

    And our approximate hour of hold may be thwarted by the band of adventures.

    Thus leading us to developing a backup plan.

    And what is this backup plan?

    Simple, Vaarsuvius's mate.

    I don't get it.

    We know that Vaarsuvius cares very much for his adopted children. (Don't you dare correct me on the gender) So if we could gain ahold of Vaarsuvius's mate's soul for atleast 10 min. then everything would right itself.

    How?

    If Vaasuvius's time elapses before our use of the elf is complete. We threaten.

    We remind the elf that we still hold the mate's soul as our own.

    And thus another deal is made.

    Vaarsuvius completes what we want, and we forget all the time the mate's soul belongs to us?

    Why would Vaarsuvius agree to that.

    Because the children our involved.

    We could, say, turn Inkyrius insane and start torturing the children with knives before killing them.

    Can you imagine the horror those kids will remember in the afterlife when their own loving parent decides to do horrible things to them?

    So that was our basis of our backup plan.

    Fortunatly, it it got even better.

    For since the love has been repaired, we can add the mate in the list of hostages as well.

    Man! You guys are Evil!

    Thank you.

    What a great compliment.

    But this flattery won't give you a raise, though.


    This went better then I expected. I want everyone to comment on this. As much as you can think of. I REALLY want to know how well I did.
    My god, those fiends are evil, EVIL! Great work on this chapter, I enjoyed reading it very much.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  4. - Top - End - #604
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dallas-Dakota's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Thog and Mr. Scruffy! Please, somebody write this and please my horrible mind!
    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    DD: .... DEM HIPS.
    Quote Originally Posted by faerwain View Post
    Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
    Quote Originally Posted by banjo1985 View Post
    My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
    Ceikatar!

  5. - Top - End - #605
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Well, it's time for part 4 of the Inkyrius series.

    Remember, if you have trouble reading the yellow wording, just highlight it.

    Spoiler
    Show

    *Groan* The imp lifts himself off the floor. What happened?

    Excellent. You successfully fast healed.

    The imp looks around and see's the three fiends looking at him from a doorway. What are you doing?

    Well after you passed out from the combination of lethal and non-lethal damage, we thought it best to protect ourselves from the same fate.

    That's why we are standing here in this doorway, to avoid looking at the screen.

    Why don't you just turn it off then?

    No. No, no, no. We are enjoying how things are unfolding in between the elves.

    That's why you are going to look at the screen and tell us when the danger has passed.

    WHAT?! ME?!

    That's what we said. You've already seen the horror, so this prevents us from having to go through theorpy.

    Though I may go through it anyways, just for imagination alone.

    Besides, being our employee, this is a task we assign to you. Now do you labor and look at the screen.

    Grrrr. Fine. The imp looks at the screen. Hey! It looks like Vaarsuvius passes out as well. Inkyrius just dismissed the tenticles spell.

    The three fiends quickly gather on the couch.

    Hurry! Turn it up!

    *Click*

    "I can't believe you collapsed this early. You survived longer in bed. And you've gained a few more hit dice since then. Evards Black tenticle. Although it could be because my caster level is so high that the spell was stronger then intended. Oh well, I still have other phases of my plan yet to preform. Greater Teleport."

    *pop*

    Where'd the elf go?

    Not sure, but it'll probably be back.

    How do you know?

    The fiend points at the black tenticles that sprang from the ground and wrapped themselves around the unconscious form of Vaarsuvius. That's to keep the Vaarsuvius from going anywhere.

    I see, because Inkyrius knows that Vaarsuvius has a strength penalty.

    I'm adding another image in my head to theropy.

    Don't you want to follow Inkyrius though?

    Naaah. We want it to be a surprise.

    What's the point of knowing everything? Then you couldn't enjoy everything. Right?

    I guess...

    Hey guys, the elfs back.

    ******************************************

    Vaarsuvius's eyes slowly opened. Head was spinning from the ordeal. Could still feel the pain from the last spell in the area's targeted. It took a little while to realize the arms and legs were entangled by tenticles.

    "Wh-What happened?"

    "Ah! Good. You're finally awake."

    "In-Inkyrius? What's going on?"

    "Well, revenge on you was only the first step. There's someone else who needs punishment. She's right over there." Inkyrius points to a red haired human figure.

    "INKYRIUS!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?"

    Haley was completly stripped of clothes. She also was dancing in an extremely suggestive fashion. Pain was obvious on her face.

    "I'm giving the little slut the pain she deserves."

    "What kind of spell is this?!"

    The tenticles Lifted V into the air to the same height as Inkyrius.

    "Like it? It's Inkyrius's Maximized Continous Irresistable Dance. As you can see, it's simular to the original irresistable dance, but at alot higher level. The spell is intesified to last 1d4+1 rounds/caster level. Since mine is so relatively high at the moment, and I maximized the spell, I estimate that she would be dancing for over 6 hours staight."

    "Why would you do such a thing?"

    "Like I said, the slut is getting what she deserved in getting me to perform in that adultry while you excused the divorce case. That's why she's going to die dancing as a whore for my enjoyment. It hasn't been a third of the casting time and she's already taken quite a bit of non-lethal damage from exhaustion. As soon as it accumulates high enough where she passes out, the spell will keep her body dancing and she'll start taking lethal damage. When that gets high enough, well, you know the result."

    "How'd you get her alone anyways? She was with Elan."

    "Oh, you mean that idiot blond human. He was easy. Just conjured up an illusion for an eye-patch stand."

    "Inkyrius, please, don't do this!"

    "It's actually your fault for including her in your plan."

    "It was not my plan but hers!"

    "... If your still trying to convince me to stop, your doing a rather poor job of it."

    "No! Not convince you. But to tell you the truth. I feel I owe you a complete explaination for everything."

    "Well, how ever much I'm sure most of it will be a lie. I'm very much interested in what you have to say. So start talking."

    "You know how I left, sent off by my teacher, I was still trying to further my magic. Eventually I met Miss Starshine on my travels. She introduced me to life as an adventurer, and I met up with the rest of the group."

    "Oh, thank you for reminding me. They're in on it as well, right? Well then, I'll pay them a visit after all this is over, with more imaginative doom for them."

    "NO! DON'T! Inkyrius! My group and I are for the benefit of everyone. Including our children."

    "SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP! I will not have you lie that you cared at all about the benefit of me or our children!"

    "No, it's true."

    "HOW?! What could you have possibly been doing that would help me and our adopted children?! The only thing I can think of is saving us from a mad dragon by taking this exact deal from the fiends! The same dragon I may add that came after us because of you in the first place! I even told you to drop the deal, but you had other needs before our own!"

    "Inkyrius, my group has stumbled upon an evil that threatens to destroy the entire multiverse. An evil so great, that it would destroy the very souls of our children, not just their lives! That is why I couldn't stay behind with you! The position I was in was too much of a responsibility. I had to bring the group trying to stop the apocalypse together so that they can work properly together after being separated!"

    "If that was the only reason, then I'm still not impressed."

    "No, that wasn't the only reason. For after I brought them together, I saw a chance to stop the evil from bringing the destruction. I attacked it at it's heart, trying to defeat it. Had I succeded, then there would've been nothing to threaten our family again. I could have gone home to live with you once again. I spent that deal doing the best for us, alot more then you did that's for sure. Imagine our children's expressions when they find out that you have made the same deal their other parent had made just for petty revenge."

    "Petty revenge you call it! With her involved?!"

    "Like I said, it was not my idea. The party realized I was stressed over an issue and they eventually got it out of me. They decided that it was for the best intrest to delay your divorce long enough to defeat the evil, then I could sit down and make it up to you. I had no idea what they planned on doing until it was done."

    "Make it up to me? Don't make me laugh. What could you possibly say that would make me forgive you? What?!"

    "Our wedding day."

    "What?"

    "Yes. Our wedding day. That is the happiest moment in my life. That one day brought me more happiness then any day studing and researching a spell would ever do. Those moments we spent together, just the two of us, are more precious to me then my spell books. Whenever I tranced, most of the visions were of those happy moments together."

    "You... really did feel that way with me?"

    "Yes. I never would have wanted to intentionally hurt you. But my obligation to protecting the Multiverse was more important then staying at home with you, was because it also involved you. More then just you. It involved your safetly. That is why I left when I did."

    Inkyrius looks at Vaarsuvius in stunned silence. In unison, the tenticles and Inkyrius lowered themselves down to the ground. Vaarsuvius winced as the legs supported the weight. The pain was still there.

    "I...I don't know what to say..."

    In answer, Vaarsuvius hugged Inkyrius and kissed the elf intently. Ignoring the fangs and the pain, Vaarasuvius kept the imbrace. It wasn't long before Inkyrius was returning it, having been reminded of why the elf fell in love with Vaarsuvius in the first place. The logic and feelings that they shared was more perfect then anyone elses.

    At once, Vaarsuvius felt the deal break. The fangs dissappeared. The new set of clothes Inkyrius had from the deal like wise was replaced with the elfs old set of clothes. Cracking open an eye, Vaarsuvius looked at Haley. The elf witnessed her campanion stop dancing and fall to the ground. She had enough energy to look at Vaarsuvius and give a "Thank you" smile, before falling unconcious. A load "Caw" informed Vaarsuvius that Blackwings spell had also been lifted. The bird was flying this way.

    "Well I'm glad you guys finally made u-"

    Vaarsuvius used a silent Hold Monster on the bird to prevent the familiar from ruining the moment. For once in a long time, everything was as it should be.

    ******************************************

    Awww... isn't that sweet.

    Yes, a nice happy ending for the two elves.

    And our backplan as just gotten even better.

    Backup plan?

    Oh right, you don't know.

    Well, yeterday it came to our attention that the time we gathered on controlling Vaarsuvuis may not have been enough.

    We realized we miscalculated one thing, Vaarsuvius's party.

    You see, it is well known that PC's are widely unpredictable and masters at screwing up plans.

    This of course is an understatement.

    And our approximate hour of hold may be thwarted by the band of adventures.

    Thus leading us to developing a backup plan.

    And what is this backup plan?

    Simple, Vaarsuvius's mate.

    I don't get it.

    We know that Vaarsuvius cares very much for his adopted children. (Don't you dare correct me on the gender) So if we could gain ahold of Vaarsuvius's mate's soul for atleast 10 min. then everything would right itself.

    How?

    If Vaasuvius's time elapses before our use of the elf is complete. We threaten.

    We remind the elf that we still hold the mate's soul as our own.

    And thus another deal is made.

    Vaarsuvius completes what we want, and we forget all the time the mate's soul belongs to us?

    Why would Vaarsuvius agree to that.

    Because the children our involved.

    We could, say, turn Inkyrius insane and start torturing the children with knives before killing them.

    Can you imagine the horror those kids will remember in the afterlife when their own loving parent decides to do horrible things to them?

    So that was our basis of our backup plan.

    Fortunatly, it it got even better.

    For since the love has been repaired, we can add the mate in the list of hostages as well.

    Man! You guys are Evil!

    Thank you.

    What a great compliment.

    But this flattery won't give you a raise, though.


    This went better then I expected. I want everyone to comment on this. As much as you can think of. I REALLY want to know how well I did.
    Now all of a sudden I wish this was canon so we could see what this actually does in the story.

    But then again, maybe not. It stands well enough on its own.

    Either way, good job.

  6. - Top - End - #606
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyronea View Post
    Now all of a sudden I wish this was canon so we could see what this actually does in the story.
    I share this sentiment. The last section would make an interesting plot twist.

    I love how you tied this up. My only nit-pick is that your ambiguous-gender-writing needs a bit of work, but then again it's not something that you'd need outside of writing about adrogynous elves.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-29 at 04:43 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    I hope Inkyrius remembers to dismiss the spell on Haley.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by DD the Cookiemonster View Post
    Thog and Mr. Scruffy! Please, somebody write this and please my horrible mind!
    I've seen the things you've written in the MemberxMember Thread (I think it was you, at least), so why can't you write this? We love people trying things!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I share this sentiment. The last section would make an interesting plot twist.

    I love how you tied this up. My only nit-pick is that your ambiguous-gender-writing needs a bit of work, but then again it's not something that you'd need outside of writing about adrogynous elves.
    Next time I write something for English, I'm writing in an androgynous elf, and I don't give a damn about whether it fits or not.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-29 at 05:02 PM.
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  9. - Top - End - #609
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Haley x Thog.


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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    I hope Inkyrius remembers to dismiss the spell on Haley.
    It gave out on its own. Remember? When the soul splice ends, all spells end as well.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Hmm... I promised some sort of contest a while ago, didn't I?

    ...anyone have ideas for prizes? I've got a few contest idea, but the only prize I can come up with is rewriting the opening post.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  12. - Top - End - #612
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Hmm... I promised some sort of contest a while ago, didn't I?

    ...anyone have ideas for prizes? I've got a few contest idea, but the only prize I can come up with is rewriting the opening post.
    If you make avatars, make the winner an avatar.

    Or rewriting the opening post when Crack thread #3 comes around, that's a good idea.
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  13. - Top - End - #613
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Silverrapter, that was an AMAZING story. I loved the resolution, and that V was able to talk some sense into K in the end...


    As for myself, I'm a bit too busy to write crack currently. Not like there's a shortage of it here, anyway.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I share this sentiment. The last section would make an interesting plot twist.

    I love how you tied this up. My only nit-pick is that your ambiguous-gender-writing needs a bit of work, but then again it's not something that you'd need outside of writing about adrogynous elves.
    What part of my story suffers from unambigous elf problems?

    But I'm glad you guys love it. I actually had this entire scene presented to me in a dream.

    Edit: And if you want to see more of my story creating work, keep an eye on my fan comic.
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-29 at 07:15 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    If you make avatars, make the winner an avatar.

    Or rewriting the opening post when Crack thread #3 comes around, that's a good idea.
    You see my current avatar? The holy lemon? That's on the good end of my artistic abilities.

    And I really meant rewriting the OP for THIS thread, but I'm glad it didn't just sound good in my head.

    ...anyone else willing to make prizes for the contest?
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  16. - Top - End - #616
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    You see my current avatar? The holy lemon? That's on the good end of my artistic abilities.
    And I attest that, yes, that is truly the best he can do.
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  17. - Top - End - #617
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    The most I can offer is Orange Level Clearance in one of my Paranoia pbp games.


    Hm. I feel like writing. Should I roll, or take up a challenge?
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    The most I can offer is Orange Level Clearance in one of my Paranoia pbp games.


    Hm. I feel like writing. Should I roll, or take up a challenge?
    I challenge you to write MikoXBelkarXVaarsuvius, gender swap, ends in pregnancy.
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  19. - Top - End - #619
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    But... How do I gender-swap V?

    Oh right, I forgot I was supposed to write a V fic...

    Quick, everybody name a random OotS characters off the top of your head.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    But... How do I gender-swap V?

    Oh right, I forgot I was supposed to write a V fic...

    Quick, everybody name a random OotS characters off the top of your head.
    Kazumi Kato
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Quick, everybody name a random OotS characters off the top of your head.
    hrm... Pompey!

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    But... How do I gender-swap V?

    Oh right, I forgot I was supposed to write a V fic...

    Quick, everybody name a random OotS characters off the top of your head.
    The three dwarves who built Dorukon's Dungeon.

  23. - Top - End - #623
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    But... How do I gender-swap V?

    Oh right, I forgot I was supposed to write a V fic...

    Quick, everybody name a random OotS characters off the top of your head.
    Beklars Weiner Dawg
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    For starters, there's the fact that they've never met (as far as we know), though this thread has overcome larger obstacles.

    Second, the CCoP is dead, which would make even a crack pairing with anyone at least somewhat of a challenge.

    And finally, there's the adultery, which according to my dictionary is a short way of saying "cheated on their spouse" (It's either that or something that can't be spoken of on these forums). Now, Thahn isn't even married, and even if he was, committing such an act would cost him his Paladin abilities. As for CCoP, we don't even know if he even had a relationship status, and even if he did, most vows are "Till death do us part".
    Tcha! Excuses!
    1) crack pairing actually depends on them not having met (usually)
    2) set it before he dies
    3) CCoP could be married we have no idea (would a paladin sleeping with someone then later finding out that someone was married be affected?)

    If you still don't want to write it I'll give it a go.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

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    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    "Opens eyes. Understands he's on the floor. Gets up. Looks at screen."
    Awesome. How do you find the time to write this. I mean i've been working on a wierd thing (pretty much entire oots universe in a adventure school. I have trubbles fiding good roles for evrey one.) but it is going to take weeks to complet.


    P.S: could some one thats talented take a shot at it as well.
    Last edited by The Odor; 2009-10-01 at 05:12 AM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    You see my current avatar? The holy lemon? That's on the good end of my artistic abilities.

    And I really meant rewriting the OP for THIS thread, but I'm glad it didn't just sound good in my head.

    ...anyone else willing to make prizes for the contest?
    I'd draw a picture for the winner. (I can see it now... "Congrats, you've won! Here's a random doodle from some punk kid in Minnesota!)

    EDIT: Lycan, if you still want random characters, my contribution is Roy in college. With hair.
    Last edited by Meg; 2009-09-30 at 12:29 PM.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    I'd draw a picture for the winner. (I can see it now... "Congrats, you've won! Here's a random doodle from some punk kid in Minnesota!)
    Good point here; if we do have a competition, could it allow all types of media? I'd love to see some more comics.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Odor View Post
    "Opens eyes. Understands he's on the floor. Gets up. Looks at screen."
    Awesome. How do you find the time to write this. I mean i've been working on a wierd thing (pretty much entire oots universe in a adventure school. I have trubbles fiding good rules for evrey one.) but it is going to take weeks to complet.


    P.S: could some one thats talented take a shot at it as well.
    Well, 2 things.

    1) We not entire sure what made you faint in the first place. (If you could be more precise.)

    2) We don't know what pairing you got. That kind of makes it hard.
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-30 at 12:34 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    1) We not entire sure what made you faint in the first place. (If you could be more precise.)
    A combination of lethal and non-lethal damage, maybe?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Well, it's time for part 4 of the Inkyrius series.
    I like it.

    You survived longer in bed.
    Naughty Kyrie!

    "Oh, you mean that idiot blond human. He was easy. Just conjured up an illusion for an eye-patch stand."
    That made me laugh.

    There are a few typos:

    Could still feel the pain from the last spell in the targeted area.
    Had I succeeded, then there would've been nothing to threaten our family again.
    That was the happiest moment in my life.
    Also, I found using "the" instead of "his" or "her" to be a little... not clumsy, but it felt odd.
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