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  1. - Top - End - #31
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    So I was wondering if there were any books you know of or read that were so bad they hurt your brain or made you burst out laughing, unintentionally. For board purposes let's keep these fictional and none-political or religious please.
    American Gods by Neil Gaiman
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Seth View Post
    Well yeah, which is exactly what makes it not bad. It's just a slightly below average book that deserves neither praise nor scorn. All Twilight deserves, in my mind, is a great big "meh."
    That's rather the point. Twilight exists in an uncanny valley in literature, where it is neither good enough to read nor bad enough to sneer at. It has utterly failed as entertainment, a job which even My Immortal has managed. A bad book can be fun, but a boring book is like a prison sentence: You cannot wait to be rid of it. That's why I personally dislike the book: It is a black hole where fun gets sucked in and is never seen again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Lost Eyeball
    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

  3. - Top - End - #33
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Skami Pilno View Post
    American Gods by Neil Gaiman
    Really? Mind you I think the book is a bit overrated and not one of Gaiman's best. But I wouldn't count it near as bad as say, The Problem of Susan.

  4. - Top - End - #34
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    Really? Mind you I think the book is a bit overrated and not one of Gaiman's best. But I wouldn't count it near as bad as say, The Problem of Susan.
    This man speaks much truth.

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    Ponytar by akrim.elf

    Quote Originally Posted by The Lost Eyeball
    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

  5. - Top - End - #35
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Skami Pilno View Post
    American Gods by Neil Gaiman
    Sacrilege!

    My personal Hates:
    • Atlas Shrugged. Awful, one-dimensional characters and a plot that feels like the longest, slowest train ride ever. I just kept wishing violent deaths for every single character that appeared. When I realized I had gotten halfway through the book I hurled it against the wall before it could infect me with fail.
    • Intruder in the Dust. It just didn't work. I checked sparknotes when I was done, and I couldn't believe it was the same book. What garbage.
    • Anything and everything ever constructed by that vile, puss-spewing fat-head HG Wells. I have never been so bored to tears, so disgusted with any literature. The man was walking literary cancer. I read a lot of older books, from Robert E Howard to Twain, to friggin' Dante, so it's not an age thing, it's a Taste thing.


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  6. - Top - End - #36
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Seth View Post
    Number of reviews for each number of stars on Amazon.com:
    5 stars: 38
    4 stars: 27
    3 stars: 19
    2 stars: 30
    1 star: 49

    Only about half of the reviews are 1 star or 5 stars.
    It was about 15-20 5 Stars and 10-15 1 Stars when I read it (I think it had just come out.) I looked it up not too long ago, and the author had mentioned that the book had undergone significant revisions.

    Couldn't bring myself to try again...
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Ninjadeadbeard View Post
    Sacrilege!

    My personal Hates:
    • Anything and everything ever constructed by that vile, puss-spewing fat-head HG Wells. I have never been so bored to tears, so disgusted with any literature. The man was walking literary cancer. I read a lot of older books, from Robert E Howard to Twain, to friggin' Dante, so it's not an age thing, it's a Taste thing.
    HG Wells? Little Wars was okay, Floor Games too.
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  8. - Top - End - #38
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    The Time Machine was one of my favorite childhood books. I never thought of Wells as a bad writer, but maybe I need to try rereading it.

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Any book based on a computer game (especially Planescape: Troment and Baldur's gate came to my mind)

    Also The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan - I can't realise why many people hate twilight but have no fealings for that one. It's characters are so bland, one dimentional and Mary Suish that even Mookie would be impressed

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Virginia Woolf. /controversy
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Does the FATAL rulebook count?
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Heart of Darkness. A book where every word drags like lead.
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  13. - Top - End - #43
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    I don't think it's any crime to write a boring book, so long as the author is getting something out of it (Not money, I mean on an emotional level), but to write something downright bad is different entirely. Like Water For Chocolate was painful to read—there's such a thing as a good romance, and this isn't it. At times the writing was just plain awful, (though that may have been the translation), and I simply did not care about a single character presented therein. The magical realism feels boring & forced.
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  14. - Top - End - #44
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    The Harry Potter series - my wife said i wasn't allowed to make fun of the movies because i hadn't read the books which were much better! I got through the first three before i decided making fun of the movies wasn't worth the pain.

    I now just remain respectfully quiet when she is watching one.

    Edit: I should add i know i have read worse books but none of them spring to mind.
    Last edited by Kaun; 2012-05-09 at 08:31 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #45
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Epic View Post
    The only thing that comes to mind is a work of another student in a creative writing class. I can't really go into the details of the work because it was very graphic, but let's just say it was X-Men meets one of the films the Cinema Snob reviews.
    Oh, man. It doesn't seem fair to get mad at what students write in a creative writing class, but awful stuff does seem to come out of them.

    I took a creative writing class about a year ago. This one sort-of-friend of mine was also taking it. He wrote stories before even taking the class and was just looking for some pointers. He mentioned near the end of the semester that he was working out a publishing deal. I wasn't sure whether to feel happy for my sort-of-friend's success or horrified; his stories were awful. Better than what most people in class came up with, but most people weren't working on getting published. I'd like to think a real editor would help improve his writing, but I wouldn't count on it.

    What was wrong? I don't want to go into detail in case by some chance he actually visits this forum and figures out I'm talking about him (fantasy writer and gamer. There's a possibility!) I still see him pretty often, and he'd probably be really pissed.

    So, the problems. Well, he was good at what made a teacher happy; lots and lots of unnecessary detail and incomprehensible metaphors. I would sometimes have to read his stories five times before I could figure out what the heck happened. Once I did understand, I would realize he didn't think the story through very well. Only once did I ask him to explain something close to be beginning that made no sense. It was pretty standard monsters-aren't-really-monsters story, in this case werewolves. The main character becomes a werewolf at the end. I should emphasize that there was no hint that the character was predestined to get involved with werewolves.

    Me: So, why was -insert nonsensical detail about character here-?
    Student: Because then -insert major detail about werewolves- can happen later.
    Me: But why is it like that in the first place? It doesn't make sense, even in the context of the story.
    Student: It makes sense because he becomes a werewolf at the end!
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  16. - Top - End - #46
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    @Whiffet: Point. I've long held that no one writes as well as they think they do. I'm currently attending progressive art school, and there's an awful lot of encouragement going on, and not near enough brutal criticism. The result being that we produce about 50% good writers, and 50% arrogant half-wits.
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  17. - Top - End - #47
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Cen View Post
    Any book based on a computer game (especially Planescape: Troment and Baldur's gate came to my mind)
    Are we talking just computer games, or also video games? Because I remember those Nintendo Adventure Books (based on Super Mario and The Legend of Zelda) were pretty fun.

    Also The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan - I can't realise why many people hate twilight but have no fealings for that one.
    Easy one. People have heard of Twilight.

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Skami Pilno View Post
    American Gods by Neil Gaiman
    I agree with you wholeheartedly. What appalling trash. I would probably put Ayn Rand ahead of it but I didn't manage to finish that, so American Gods is probably the worst thing I've ever actually read through, mostly because someone I knew was raving endlessly about it.
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Bulldog Psion View Post
    I agree with you wholeheartedly. What appalling trash. I would probably put Ayn Rand ahead of it but I didn't manage to finish that, so American Gods is probably the worst thing I've ever actually read through, mostly because someone I knew was raving endlessly about it.
    I'm just wondering why? I found it a pretty good book, not the best, not even Gaiman's best, but not horrific.
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  20. - Top - End - #50
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Is it okay to use philosophy, or are we locked into fiction?

    In fiction, probably The War of the Flowers by Tad Williams. I usually like his stuff, but yeeeessssh did I hate that thing.
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Bulldog Psion View Post
    I agree with you wholeheartedly. What appalling trash. I would probably put Ayn Rand ahead of it but I didn't manage to finish that, so American Gods is probably the worst thing I've ever actually read through, mostly because someone I knew was raving endlessly about it.
    I...what? What? I...wha...What!? I can see someone disliking The Graveyard Book (not my favorite Gaiman)...but...what!?
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    I nominate Nikolai Tolstoy's "The Coming of the King", simply because it's the only book I can remember actually struggling to get through. You think the Silmarillion is a bit dry? This has it beat...

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Chess435 View Post
    Does the FATAL rulebook count?
    Depends.

    Did you finish reading it?

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Heart of Darkness and Mrs. Dalloway are very much not my cup of tea.

    Truly can't understand the hate some have for American Gods.
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Worst I've read (at all): The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand. This has the distinction of being one of only a handful of books I've started but never finished.

    Worst I've actually finished: Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan. I bought it hardcover, right when it came out. Most disappointing reading experience I've ever had. I felt cheated out of my $20. On the plus side, it was a motivating factor to really get to work on my own book. It was my, "And he gets paid for this?!" moment.

    Honorable Mentions: Beloved, Toni Morrison. Johnny Tremaine, Esther Forbes. (Why they continue to subject students to this, is beyond me).
    Last edited by Telonius; 2012-05-10 at 01:54 PM.

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    The Dragonbone Chair. Nothing happens for the first 6 or so chapters and the life of the totally uninteresting servant boy is so bloody quaint that I fell asleep twice trying to read the thing.

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Their eye’s were watching god. Had to read it for school years ago and it was a horrible chore to make it through all the heavy southern dialect. Lucky my mind seems to have purged all details about what the book was about. Other then that probably the second and third Eragon books. The first wasn’t to bad but wasn’t good either the others to I had to constantly stop reading and put down and eventually let people know that while yes I enjoy fantasy books about dragons and such to not get me any of the other books as gifts.

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Worst books I've ever read:
    1. The Sheppard's Are Coming by Earl Pilgrim. The copy I've linked appears to be a later edition, because they removed the apostrophe from the title. Yes, the edition I read had an error IN THE TITLE. I couldn't finish this.

    2. I got drunk and read the first few pages of Twilight, or one of its sequels; I don't really remember any specifics, all I know is we laughed and laughed.
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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeful View Post
    The Dragonbone Chair. Nothing happens for the first 6 or so chapters and the life of the totally uninteresting servant boy is so bloody quaint that I fell asleep twice trying to read the thing.
    Wading very slowly through the second book of that series. (By which I mean, I started it late lasy year while on holiday and got about half way through and have read to odd chapter since.) My Mum, who's read the whole series, said it got much better in the third and forth books, so we'll see.

    It's... definately slow, to put it mildly, and there seem a few too many pointless character deaths for my liking, but we'll see...

    Still, it's not as bad as some stuff I've read, and it's something for holiday reading. (I have a policy of only buying and reading books for holidays, since we can't afford the storage space otherwise; other times, I tend to voraciosuly read fanfic. (Well, decent fanfic, anyway; which does exist, you just have to be prepared to find a fanbase with a modicum of intelligence and do a lot of wading through crap!))

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    Default Re: Worst thing you've ever read

    Thinking about it, the worst book I can recall finishing was Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl, which I read about ten years ago. Its antagonist, Artemis Fowl, was described as prodigal genius, yet none of his actions actually demonstrated that he was one. Its plot was unmemorable, especially since Artemis was supposed to be some sort of criminal mastermind. Its other characters were one-dimensional - they had maybe one trait and that was that. Its humor lacked wit and the action lacked excitement; both seemed really contrived. But really, what bothered me so much about it was that are actually a lot of good books aimed at preteens that are much better and that I could have read instead.

    I think the second-worst (at least right now) book that I've finished is Anne Rice's The Witching Hour, mainly because it was a 1000 page slog with an unsatisfying ending. It wasn't really scary, it wasn't really insightful, and mostly it had me feeling grossed out. Granted, the writing itself was fine.

    I hated Stephen R. Donaldson's Lord Foul's Bane, but I didn't finish it. Also, some of the Thieves' World stories were really awful.

    As far as Neil Gaiman is concerned, I liked Anansi Boys, American Gods, and Sandman (at least the first 2 volumes, which are the ones that I've finished) a lot. I wasn't as crazy about Neverwhere, but I wouldn't call it one of the worst books I've read.

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