Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

[CoffeeIncluded]

Just saying... Sowwy.

It's okay.

[Closak]

Hmm...ABD/Every male character in the comic

Yeah, that's the stuff.

Some hot dragon on everything action!




Also, on FF.Net i just read a story about what has to be one of the worst childhood traumas possible.

Also includes zombies and crazy scientists...and things with 15 feet long tongues


P.S

Explosions. ALWAYS include explosions. Many of them. Multiple collapsing buildings are an acceptable substitute. The current transfer rate of collapsible buildings-explosions is 3-2.

[Dark Faun]

Also, on FF.Net i just read a story about what has to be one of the worst childhood traumas possible.

Also includes zombies and crazy scientists...and things with 15 feet long tongues

Welcome to Japan.

As Discord pointed out, that makes things rather difficult for those who can't or won't write above PG or lower. Not to mention that focussing on one point in time would mean no more pregnancies, second and third dates, unusual dreams, underhanded schemes, etc.... *sigh*

And I love me pregnancies.

Speaking of which, who's next? *crosses Tsukiko twice off list* Haerta? Sangwaan? Haley?

(And do you hate Matt? Sorry to be pushy...)

I read the comic and I don't hate Matt. But I don't like him either, and I'm equally indifferent towards the other party members. It amused me, though, that Lloyd calls it a "good day's march" when he didn't walk any inch himself.

[ShinyDelusion]

It's okay.

Yayness.

Uh... Good for you, Closak?

Ooo! Ooo! Discord! I know! Sabine! Vaguely plausible, and the offspring would be half elf half succubus (I don't care if she's not really one (don't know DnD monsters that well), she still counts), the greatest combination I've ever heard of!

[CoffeeIncluded]

And I love me pregnancies.

Speaking of which, who's next? *crosses Tsukiko twice off list* Haerta? Sangwaan? Haley?

All of the above?

I read the comic and I don't hate Matt. But I don't like him either, and I'm equally indifferent towards the other party members. It amused me, though, that Lloyd calls it a "good day's march" when he didn't walk any inch himself.

Hm. Never thought about it like that.

So are you indifferent because you don't know them that well yet?

[Closak]

"It was unbelievable. He knew his dad had been feeling less than 100% since he had returned home from Vietnam, but to blow his own brains out with his children nearby? It was unheard of."

And that is what i call the big momma of childhood traumas.

The zombies and creatures with the 15 foot tongues comes later.


Yeah, i'm reading that and running loose on this forum at the same time, MULTI-TASKING YAY!

[The Dark Fiddler]

The zombies and creatures with the 15 foot tongues comes later.

Left 4 Dead? (2)

[Closak]

No, Resident Evil.

The things with the tongues are the Lickers.

Click click click

And here's one now *Get's out the shotgun* BOOM!

Wait, how am i holding a shotgun anyway? *Uses breath weapon instead*
Bye-bye.

[Dark Faun]

Ooo! Ooo! Discord! I know! Sabine! Vaguely plausible, and the offspring would be half elf half succubus (I don't care if she's not really one (don't know DnD monsters that well), she still counts), the greatest combination I've ever heard of!

Someone who can shapeshift into whoever you want... Looks like V's really lucky.

All of the above?

Haha, V's gonna lose all his wealth-per-level through child support.

The problem will of course come from the difficulty to make new pictures that aren't repetitive. :(

Hm. Never thought about it like that.

So are you indifferent because you don't know them that well yet?

Maybe. They just don't interest me yet, though I do find Janine endearing (if overeager in the... interaction department ).

[Zanaril]

Also, on FF.Net i just read a story about what has to be one of the worst childhood traumas possible.

FF.net is pick and mix when it comes to quality, especially for more popular fandoms. Looking at the communities for each section can help find the 10% worth reading.

And I love me pregnancies.

Speaking of which, who's next? *crosses Tsukiko twice off list* Haerta?

Yes!

I really need to get on with my VxHaerta fic... which reminds me:

How do scrolls work? Are they magic-in-a-can than anybody can use, or does the person using them have to be able to cast the spell normally? More specifically, could someone with necromancy banned use a scroll to cast a necromatic spell? Do they still need the material components?

Secondly, if a Sending spell failed because it was blocked, would the person casting it know it had failed?

[Dark Faun]

Yes!

Well, robed women are easier to draw pregnant, since there's Kazumi and the goddess Thor knocked up to work with... And I love me some V x Haerta.

The issue is that I have no idea for a pose that I didn't already use...

I really need to get on with my VxHaerta fic...

Do! Do! :D

How do scrolls work? Are they magic-in-a-can than anybody can use, or does the person using them have to be able to cast the spell normally? More specifically, could someone with necromancy banned use a scroll to cast a necromatic spell?

From my knowledge of Neverwinter Nights, you can't use a scroll if you can't cast the spell yourself. Unless you got many ranks in Use Magic Device (which is a skill usually only found in rogues).

Secondly, if a Sending spell failed because it was blocked, would the person casting it know it had failed?

That I don't know. D20srd.org doesn't give answers either.

[Zanaril]

From my knowledge of Neverwinter Nights, you can't use a scroll if you can't cast the spell yourself. Unless you got many ranks in Use Magic Device (which is a skill usually only found in rogues).

Hmm, okay, so I might have to do something more circuitous...

[CoffeeIncluded]

Maybe. They just don't interest me yet, though I do find Janine endearing (if overeager in the... interaction department ).

Okay. Thanks.

And I particularly like working with overeager hyperactive female characters, mainly because I am one. (And they're funny.)

Hmm, okay, so I might have to do something more circuitous...

House rule!

[Dark Faun]

Okay. Thanks.

And I particularly like working with overeager hyperactive female characters, mainly because I am one. (And they're funny.)

And men love those. Especially when they happen to have a hot female friend to boot. I feel Lloyd will have many... interesting dreams while he travels with them.

Hmm, okay, so I might have to do something more circuitous...

More info:

* The spell must be of the correct type (arcane or divine). Arcane spellcasters (wizards, sorcerers, and bards) can only use scrolls containing arcane spells, and divine spellcasters (clerics, druids, paladins, and rangers) can only use scrolls containing divine spells. (The type of scroll a character creates is also determined by his or her class.)
* The user must have the spell on his or her class list.
* The user must have the requisite ability score.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

And Tsukiko enjoyed it.


Here's the deal: I'll draw it if you write it. The more citrus-flavoured the better.

If you want further encouragement, I urge you to recall what Tsukiko was wearing at the time.

Deal.

I just found the ff.net site. I'll likely post it there, since there is no way the story will even remotely be able to pass the ratings requirements of these forums...

[CoffeeIncluded]

And men love those. Especially when they happen to have a hot female friend to boot. I feel Lloyd will have many... interesting dreams while he travels with them.

What are you saying about Radic?

(And hey, let's not forget Matt here. )

...Shneekey, now I'm scared.

[Zanaril]

Deal.

*shakes on it*

House rule!

The whole soul-splice was apparently iffy rule-wise, so I can roll with that.

[Dark Faun]

What are you saying about Radic?

The real reason why Radic doesn't want Janine to flirt with Lloyd is because she wants her for herself and only for herself.

(And hey, let's not forget Matt here. )

Well, the riding dog must be getting lonely from times to times...

...Shneekey, now I'm scared.

Heh, Tsukiko's asking for it. She's Japanese in a world where tentacles can easily be invoked, she wears a skimpy outfit while she sleeps, and she goes back to her bed on her own, without any guard.

I'm sure Xykon ordered TeeVo to stay around her just in case it had such an interesting event to record.

EDIT: Something I realized.

Secondly, if a Sending spell failed because it was blocked, would the person casting it know it had failed?

Since, in OotS, Sending is akin to a real time videoconference, the sender would know it didn't work because the sendee wouldn't answer. They may even get a big 404 error.

[CoffeeIncluded]

The real reason why Radic doesn't want Janine to flirt with Lloyd is because she wants her for herself and only for herself.


Well, the riding dog must be getting lonely from times to times...

Heheh, maybe you should do a crack pairing of it later on. (In that thread, of course)

Oh, and since you seem to like elves and pregnancy so much. I'll give you a little, uh, scrying(?) of a short future scene: A minor character, a very pregnant elf, laying a Kazumi-esque beatdown on someone threatening her child. This was planned a while ago.

Heh, Tsukiko's asking for it. She's Japanese in a world where tentacles can easily be invoked, she wears a skimpy outfit while she sleeps, and she goes back to her bed on her own, without any guard.

I'm sure Xykon ordered TeeVo to stay around her just in case it had such an interesting event to record.

...

Oh, ever heard of the drink Tentacle Grape?

[Dark Faun]

Heheh, maybe you should do a crack pairing of it later on. (In that thread, of course)

Hm, hot Janine x Radic action. If that doesn't attract readers, nothing will.

Oh, and since you seem to like elves and pregnancy so much. I'll give you a little, uh, scrying(?) of a short future scene: A minor character, a very pregnant elf, laying a Kazumi-esque beatdown on someone threatening her child. This was planned a while ago.

Yayness and thanks so much.

And I think the term you're looking for is "sneak peek."

...

Oh, ever heard of the drink Tentacle Grape?

I never heard of such a drink, though I'm not surprised someone made a pun about it. And while I've never enjoyed watching it, I do know about tentacle rape.

If only because of #20.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hm, howt Janine x Radic action. If that doesn't attract readers, nothing will.

...*Bursts out laughing*
I would actually love to see that, if only for the hilarity. Yes people, I don't mind crack pairings of my OCs!

Speaking of which, the party isn't complete yet!

I never heard of such a drink, though I'm not surprised someone made a pun about it. And while I've never enjoyed watching it, I do know about tentacle rape.

If only because of #20.

It's grape juice. With extremely innuendo-filled description text. Google it. Make sure you don't misspell it.

[Sereg]

Alright, here is my promised CeliaxXykon fic.

Spoiler

Show

“May the Twelve Gods not appear in the sky just to smack you down.” said Haley to Thann. Suddenly, there was a loud crash and a loud hobgoblin voice cried “They’re here! We’ve found they’re headquarters!” Haley quickly drew her bow, but Celia grabbed her arm and cried, “No! If we fight, too many people will die!” Haley looked around and decided that they couldn’t really afford to risk the entire combined resistance and so she yelled, “Quick! Everyone out the emergency exit!”

“I can’t believe it!” cried Haley, “We’ve lost the headquarters, our supplies and…”
“Roy!” cried Celia.
“What?” asked Haley.
“We left Roy’s body behind!” Celia cried, “We’ve got to get him back.”“Great,” sighed Haley, “That’s all we need.”

“Alright,” said Haley to Celia, “I’m the PC here, let me handle this. Sneak attack, sneak attack, sneak attack and sneak attack!” as she jumped out and filled the first of the hobgoblin guards. “Now, it’s your…”
“Wait!” yelled Celia, “I can’t believe you killed that guard and now you’re going to kill this one. Tell me sir, where is the decaying human body that was down here?” The hobgoblin stared at the arrow that was pointed straight at his face and gulped, “Alright, … you rolled high enough on your intimidate check. Everything that was found here was taken back to the castle. We’re just here to make sure that no-one comes back.”
“See Haley,” exclaimed Celia, “I have advanced our goals without resorting to violence. I think that I should take over from here.” as she grabbed the dead hobgoblin’s arm and started dragging him off. “Wait Celia!” cried Haley, “What are you do…?”

“Alright,” Celia declared to herself as she finished straightening the uniform she had removed from the dead hobgoblin, “I may not be an adventurer but I knoe how to get this done. Alter self.” Her appearance changed to that of a hobgoblin. “Good, now I’ll be able to get into the castle and even if I’m questioned, they won’t suspect that I’m a sylph as my speech bubbles aren’t blue anymore.”

“Hmmm,” thought Celia as she walked through another door, “getting lost wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Ah, you must be today’s entertainment. You’re a little early but I’m not complaining” Celia turned to her left to see Xykon holding a pie which he promptly threw at her. “Ow, no!” she cried and turned back to her true form deciding that the beetles were not worth keeping the disguise. “Wait, you look familiar didn’t you use to work for Dorukon? Yes, hmmm. Now, normally I don’t go for the living but I suppose that you aren’t technically a mortal, which is good enough for me. I think that we can do something even more fun than torture hobgoblins. Come here, and leave the uniform on.” Celia was confused, Xykon was a horrible boss and because of him Roy was dead, but wasn’t she always trying to find alternative ways of dealing with problems from violence? She smiled and walked forwads…

That really was a lot of fun but it took a while longer than I thought to write. Hopefully better than my first as I like to think that I make more sense while awake. I’ll try rolling another pairing and maybe if anyone wants I’ll try a sequel where Haley tries to rescue Celia.

EDIT:The roller says Horace GreenhiltxTsukiko stuck on a desert island. Ok, this one will take a bit more effort so it will probably take a bit longer.

[Water-Smurf]

Well said. I wish to visit excessive violence upon this man.

You'll have to get in line, because when anyone in Tia's living family hears about this, he's going to regret ever laying eyes on her.

It seems that I have inspired a lot of feelings of anger. To tell the truth, I was expecting a little more neutrality with a liberal shade of disgust. (This is the part where I realize that I hang around with very weird people...)

Ah, yes, Don't Split the Party mentions that Belkar wants to lay V.

On a completely unrelated note, I've found more inspiration for more V/B stories.

Argh! I want to read it so badly but I can't get to the freaking place it's posted!

Are you talking about my story or the new comic?

Anyway, I'm not sure about my characterization of Right-Eye, so I'd find it helpful if someone could give me feedback in that area. (It's a little hard to be certain in characterizations if you only have one thin book to get it, and harder if you only have a few pages to get a sense of that person at their current age. He's probably got several layers too many of his younger self in his characterization as it stands.)

[CoffeeIncluded]

You'll have to get in line, because when anyone in Tia's living family hears about this, he's going to regret ever laying eyes on her.

Something along the lines of slow castration with dull rusty weaponry and several Meteor Swarms? Because I heartily support that.

And he's talking about the reposted story. You can't see restricted Deviantart stories unless you have an account.

[Dark Faun]

On a completely unrelated note, I've found more inspiration for more V/B stories.

Where did I put that rope?

Are you talking about my story or the new comic?

Your story is on deviantART as mature content, which means you need to be a member to be able to read it.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Hmmm... I've finished my little Evil V x Tsukiko lemon... and a lemon it is. Even better... I managed to keep most of the... interesting stuff... off-board. Hell, if it wasn't three pages, I could probably post it here... expect a new addition to the ff.net site.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hmmm... I've finished my little Evil V x Tsukiko lemon... and a lemon it is. Even better... I managed to keep most of the... interesting stuff... off-board. Hell, if it wasn't three pages, I could probably post it here... expect a new addition to the ff.net site.

Well? Where is it? Where is it?

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Well? Where is it? Where is it?

Delay To reduce spam, there is a short 2 day waiting period before new users are allowed to submit stories.

Document Manager will be functional on December 30, 2009, 6:52 pm PST (US Pacific Standard Time/West Coast).

[The Dark Fiddler]

I know the sheriff posted this in the fanservice thread, but I want to cross-post it here, just because I feel you guys need a reminder sometimes. Just in case, really. I don't want us to die! I'm sure we're only not on a thinner razor's edge than them because we don't have the PMs.

Sheriff of Moddingham:
The Forum Rules apply in PMs, too, so I recommend that you move that particular type of request to another site.

Seriously folks, you walk a pretty razor-thin edge with this thread, if you have an interest in its continued survival, keep it family friendly and more suggestive than explicit.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Says I have to wait two hours after I register before I can submit anything to ff.net

That explicit, huh?

How long ago did you sign up? Just so I know if I should look for this tomorrow morning or not.

EDIT: Good point, The Dark Fiddler. Don't worry, that last crack pairing I did is about as explicit as I'll get.