Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

[Closak]

...I think I'm going to go to Sweden and kill someone now. Excuse me. *shuffles off*

Feel free to take the moron in my school who sits at the bench behind me.

He keeps scratching his groin during class and yelling about how good it feels.
He also keeps calling my mom a whore and brags about how he's going to f*** her.
He's also always 30 minutes late to school minimum, often longer, and about 30% of the time he doesn't show up at all.
He also never does his homework, and get's angry and agressive when i get better grades than him.
Then there's a bunch of other stuff i don't even want to get started on.

[icastflare!]

Feel free to take the moron in my school who sits at the bench behind me.

He keeps scratching his groin during class and yelling about how good it feels.
He also keeps calling my mom a whore and brags about how he's going to f*** her.
He's also always 30 minutes late to school minimum, often longer, and about 30% of the time he doesn't show up at all.
He also never does his homework, and get's angry and agressive when i get better grades than him.
Then there's a bunch of other stuff i don't even want to get started on.

The world Is full of idiots. How humanity has even been able to survive with things like that is a miracle. Though we do have a solution. Its called " Low will defense + slay living"

[The Dark Fiddler]

Then let Cerberus use him as a chew toy?


There was a reference somewhere in there.
See if you can find it.

Percy Jackson?

Also, people, ease up on the graphic torture. The Master is a bastard, but there's still a rule against explicit violence, so be careful.

...surprisingly, 50% of the population are below median intelligence.

Isn't that basic statistics?

Xykon/Vaarsuvius: Nativity in Black

Xykon/Tiasal/Deirdre: Nothing's Free

Deirdre/Tiasal: Welcome to my Nightmare

Tiasal/Deirdre: Diary of a Madman

Anything else?

Nothing to do with your stories, but I'm sure Schadenfreude matches Redcloak/Tsukiko somehow.

[Aaron]

Yes, but you're talking to a girl who saves stray kittens.


I deal with idiots at the shelter sometimes. People who poke their fingers in the cages, even when it clearly says not to (One woman who got bitten said that she was "testing"), parents turning a blind eye when their little kids are poking an angry cat in the face, and then people yell at me and say that the shelter doesn't care about the animals, only about the money...Because surprise surprise, there's an adoption fee!

Guess what? The shelter's a non-profit! It costs a LOT more than the fee to run the place and pay wages and prep the animals for adoption! Gah!

Even though it can be a hardish job, look at it this way. You are still saving sweet, adorable kittens who only want to have food, a home, and someone to love. (also have a warming device at night)

You're a hero, one adoption at a time.

Aww. I'd have a cat but my mom's allergic.

Same here. I really, really want to have a kitten, but my mom and bother are allergic.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Even though it can be a hardish job, look at it this way. You are still saving sweet, adorable kittens who only want to have food, a home, and someone to love. (also have a warming device at night)

You're a hero, one adoption at a time.



Same here. I really, really want to have a kitten, but my mom and bother are allergic.

And puppies! Don't forget the puppies!

Thanks.

[Aaron]

And puppies! Don't forget the puppies!

Thanks.

Forget the puppies??? Never!

Hmmm... I think we need more Mr. Scruffy pairings.

[icastflare!]

Forget the puppies??? Never!

Hmmm... I think we need more Mr. Scruffy pairings.

I have done my part. It was very entertaining.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Forget the puppies??? Never!

Hmmm... I think we need more Mr. Scruffy pairings.

Hmm...Maybe Ian and Will found a cat in Bozzok's "kit"?

[Closak]

While on the subject.

I have 3 cats and 1 dog.

The dog is a Golden Retriever.
Very friendly and cuddly, likes to sleep in moms bed or on the couch, often steals the cats food.
He likes cat food better than he likes dog food for some reason.


The youngest of the cats likes to fight, and often scratches us for the lulz while cuddling.
He seems to think it's funny to purr while clawing our pants off.

The second cat is a personal space invader, keeps jumping into my lap and falling asleep on my knees while i'm eating.

The third cat i can't say much about at the moment, i shall have to observe him more.

[The Odor]

Make sure you don't hurt Asta or Odor or anyone related to them!

Don't listen! Kill my sister. Nobody will mind.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Awwww!

Yeah, my dog is a mix between a German Shepard and a Border Collie. Well, those are the two most obvious breeds, she's got a lot of other stuff in her, possibly Whippet.

To stay on topic here, on a random note...

You know what we should make? A Crack Pairing Author class.

The class would have good Fort and Will save progressions, resistance and eventually immunity to mind-altering effects, and would revolve around squicking out enemies in battle!

I've gotta go now, but someone who's good at this sort of thing should make one. Or it could be a group effort!

[icastflare!]

Time for the awesomeness of Rogue Love part 3 This one is a bit longer than the others.

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Haley was all set. She had enough supplies to keep her and Elan for a couple days. Now the only thing left to do was make sure the bandit king doesn’t follow her and get Elan and run like there is no tomorrow. The bandit outfit she stole will defiantly help her get around the bandit camp. “Time for Operation: escape” she thought to herself as she set out to the bandit kings tent,
“Well then, you back for more “conditions”?” The bandit king said, obviously trying to lure Haley in. “Just let me freshen up.” Haley said, excusing herself outside.
She came back inside with some rope and a gag. “Well, I can see you really are adventurous.” She gagged him then tied him up. “Well now, see ya later!” She said grinning. The bandit king was in so much of a rage; it’s a surprise the rope held. Then again Haley has more skill points in Use (rope) then you think she would.
Haley exited with the tent with a goal and the means to achieve it. She stole her bow and arrow back and found the footprints of that girl she saw earlier. She found it after a couple of minutes. She looked inside to check if she was their. All she could see was her body covering up someone with blonde hair. “Elan!” she though almost bursting in. “Wait. I am gonna need a plan if I want to do this without alerting the entire camp.” Fortunately, she had just the plan to eliminate the girl.
Samantha was just about to start round 2 with her new man when someone was yelling outside her door.” Excuse me miss, but you have a gift!” A voice said. “Who is it from and what is it? “ She said walking to the door. As she opened the door she was hit with 2 arrows. One in the jugular and one directly between the eyes. “Fate” Haley said as she entered the tent. “Haley!” Elan said as she saw her entering the tent.
“Shhh!!” Haley said covering élans lips. “I don’t feel like taking on an army of bandits. I have the bandit leader tied up at the moment. Let’s escape while we can!” The couple rushed out, being careful not the trip on the body. “No need to get blood on my cape” Elan said.
From there they ran. They ran for as long as their legs could take them. They dare not look back to see if they were being pursued. Right now the only thing that mattered was putting as much distance from the bandit camp as they could. Soon the night turned into day, and a small village came into view.
It was a small town called stormblade, named after the legendary blade. They resided in a small inn called “The Bell and Dragon”. After calming down Haley said “I don’t care how long I have to run. Our love (and my gold) will sustain us.” “Cause we got to hold on to what we got. IT doesn’t make a difference if we make it our not. WE got each other and that’s a lot for love. We’ll give it a shot!” Said Elan COMPLETELY Ruining THE F****** MOMENT!
“Was that really necessary?” Haley said slightly disappointed in him. “I’m a bard. Its my duty.” He said with a smile. I know. I know.”

for those of you who dont get why it ruined the moment, its from a bon jovi song. Any way I am going to continue to atleast part 5.

[Asta Kask]

Isn't that basic statistics?

Which makes it even more fun when someone says "surely that depends on how you measure it?"

My mom's oldest cat (my cat's brother - they hate each other) loves to lie next to mom's radiator. It's this model:

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And mom has made him a small bench to lie on, and then he puts his front paws in between the sections of the radiator and loads up on heat.

[icastflare!]

this makes me want to get a cat. Too bad im allergic.

[Asta Kask]

They are working on engineering hypoallergenic breeds, but so far progress is slow. But in 10 years - who knows?

[icastflare!]

They are working on engineering hypoallergenic breeds, but so far progress is slow. But in 10 years - who knows?

yay for science!anyway for pets, I have a pappion dog. Its a little small barkey thing. He is around 9 years old right now and has arthiritis in his leg, yet he still jumps around like he did when he was a puppy. How I love him

[Taekwondodo]

I want a new dog but parents say no. Fair enough, I'm (probably) going to move out soon (if I ever actually get a job) but I still want one.

[Zanaril]

They could run away and hide much easier then than they did back before all this happened.

Assuming that Deirdre's under control.

Do you think he would be willing to tell her Right-Eye's story to show her what Xykon is capable of? He's barely been able to face it in his mind, he doesn't know that she knows, and he has every reason to believe that his daughter would turn against him for it, but there's hope that she would see Xykon for the monster he is...

I think he would if he thought it would help. And I think it would help.

How would that go down? I mean, she can't exactly tell her daughter that she wasn't allowed to see the guy who controlled all of them and demanded to see her. And she would have to understand that her lengthy absence in her daughter's life makes Tiasal less inclined to listen to her...

But look at how defiant V managed to remain towards Reddy when he was her jailer. V is going to be ruthlessly stubborn and argumentative with Tiasal, and she's not going to realize or care how dangerous that is to herself.




As for pets, I'm not really a cat person, although we did have a cat up until a year two ago. I prefer rats, although it's hearbreaking when they die early, which all of mine ended up doing.

We also have three tortoises. Two of them are currently hibernating in the fridge; the other is awake unseasonably and keeps following us around the kitchen.

[Asta Kask]

And, to outnerd you all, I statted my cat in GURPS (another RPG).

[icastflare!]

And, to outnerd you all, I statted my cat in GURPS (another RPG).

oh noes I feel non nerdy now

[Eztheria]

I'll just throw in a random idea I got while doing something completely different.
MitD and Andy know each other. They're friends. Andy has given the MitD something which lets him scry through it and perform spells in case of emergency. It was Andy that teleported V and Mr. Stiffy to Hinjo & Co. He doesn't want anyone to know, but now I have a picture in my mind of Andy and the MitD sitting at a table drinking tea. Where do you think the MitD learned to drink tea and behave civilized? Where do you think it learned to speak?
*gets shot and hastily buried in the courtyard*

[Water-Smurf]

How are you, by the way?

*flashes bottle of green liquid* *takes long draft* *sighs*

Assuming that Deirdre's under control.

Vaarsuvius, at least, would know that she was ill. Xykon knows people's limits, and if he had flat-out refused to let her see her daughter, he would have set her on fire again. To keep it to embers, he had to indulge her a little and give her time to speak with Tiasal, and he most likely had to do it to Redcloak too. They would realize that she needed help and they would get her to someone who could give it to her.

But look at how defiant V managed to remain towards Reddy when he was her jailer. V is going to be ruthlessly stubborn and argumentative with Tiasal, and she's not going to realize or care how dangerous that is to herself.

I can see her trying to manually keep Tiasal away from Xykon--maybe holding her tightly and demanding that Xykon stay the hell away. Wouldn't be just a little affecting to see one's mother standing up to an epic-level lich to keep him away from you?

[Zanaril]

*flashes bottle of green liquid* *takes long draft* *sighs*

*gives a supportive pat on the back*

They would realize that she needed help and they would get her to someone who could give it to her.

How did it get so bad in the Deirdre ending, what was different? Did it need both Reddy and V to help her?

I can see her trying to manually keep Tiasal away from Xykon--maybe holding her tightly and demanding that Xykon stay the hell away. Wouldn't be just a little affecting to see one's mother standing up to an epic-level lich to keep him away from you?

Either that or embarassing in a fussy parent sort of way.

Actually, I'm not sure what Tiasal would think of V doing something so obviously affectionate yet undeniably illogical.

I'll just throw in a random idea I got while doing something completely different.
...

...Wait, are you suggesting Aandy/MITD? If so, you get the prize for the most completely unfounded yet endearing pairing.

[licoot]

Mr. Scruffy with eye of fear and flame

[Asta Kask]

*flashes bottle of green liquid* *takes long draft* *sighs*

*walks over to Water-Smurf and looks her in the eyes*

We'll be here for you. If you cry, we'll comfort you. If you stumble, we'll steady you. If you fall, we'll help you get up.

*hugs Water-Smurf*

[Water-Smurf]

*gives a supportive pat on the back*

*swishes liquid* Well, at least I'll be home soon. We have family weekend coming up.

How did it get so bad in the Deirdre ending, what was different? Did it need both Reddy and V to help her?

Redcloak didn't know that she was ill. He thought that Xykon had brainwashed her and the stress was getting to be too much for someone so young, but he only witnessed one of her psychotic episodes. Xykon coached her to hide it from him, and he did a lot himself to keep Redcloak from finding out and giving her meds that would make her stable enough to leave Xykon.

Either that or embarassing in a fussy parent sort of way.

Actually, I'm not sure what Tiasal would think of V doing something so obviously affectionate yet undeniably illogical.

Probably something along the lines of giving a 'WTF?' face. And maybe asking Xykon to not hurt Vaarsuvius. She has a very strong sense of debt--if Vaarsuvius is trying to protect her, then she owes Vaarsuvius at least a small amount of protection.

*walks over to Water-Smurf and looks her in the eyes*

We'll be here for you. If you cry, we'll comfort you. If you stumble, we'll steady you. If you fall, we'll help you get up.

*hugs Water-Smurf*

... *wibbles*

*crawls over* *curls up against Asta Kask* Don't mind the extra suspiciously human cat you just got...

[Zanaril]

Xykon coached her to hide it from him, and he did a lot himself to keep Redcloak from finding out and giving her meds that would make her stable enough to leave Xykon.

...There's an eerie parallel there with how the master drugs the troublesome kids to keep them reliant on him.

And maybe asking Xykon to not hurt Vaarsuvius. She has a very strong sense of debt--if Vaarsuvius is trying to protect her, then she owes Vaarsuvius at least a small amount of protection.

Which I imagine Xykon would find amusing.

But it would really underline how powerless V was, even compared to Tiasal.

*crawls over* *curls up against Asta Kask* Don't mind the extra suspiciously human cat you just got...

*tentatively joins in hug*

[Lix Lorn]

(Cleric Powers, ACTIVATE!)
Cause Glee!

[Zanaril]

(Cleric Powers, ACTIVATE!)
Cause Glee!

You may be able to use magic to solve almost anything, but that doesn't mean you should

Also, why do I suddenly feel like singing? *glee!*

[Lix Lorn]

XDDD

MASS Cause Glee!