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  1. - Top - End - #421
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by MasamuneSSX View Post
    Hmmm....should we start a new thread for the Squickies, or derail this one for a while?
    Depends how it's going to work. We could announce the categories here, then giving people until the start of the next thread to post things if they're going for a specific category. Then we start voting when the new thread starts.

    Or we could just make it a free-for-all and let people vote whenever something new comes up, but that could get hard to keep track of...

    Are we going to have fanart categories as well as fanfiction?

    Best Face, for instance.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 08:38 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  2. - Top - End - #422

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    I vote for derailing mostly because I think we'd give the mods a nervous mental breakdown if they had to keep track of us on two threads.
    That sounds fun.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  3. - Top - End - #423
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    That sounds fun.
    Maybe, but I think that'd be overstaying our welcome in the OOTS subforum.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  4. - Top - End - #424
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Maybe, but I think that'd be overstaying our welcome in the OOTS subforum.
    ...If that means we'll get a subforum all to ourselves, fine by me. :D
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
    My art on Instagram

  5. - Top - End - #425
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Well, I once again proved I have no drive. Instead of finishing the story I started, I wrote a (very brief) oneshot. I think this one will be more fun (read: emotionally scarring) if you go in not knowing the pairing. As per usual, comments/criticisms are more than welcome.

    Spoiler
    Show

    The Dark One would do anything to gain knowledge of The Snarl. It wasn’t exactly a secret. All of the other gods knew it, but what they didn’t know was how far he would go to gain that knowledge, and what he would do with it once he had it.

    Redcloak was about to find out the answer in the worst way possible.

    ----

    It hadn’t been an easy few weeks for Redcloak. He’d been having the strangest dreams about groups of strangers with nothing better to do than torture him for their amusement. So he was surprised when, for the first time in a long time, he drifted into sleep, and was spared from bizarrely erotic dreams. Instead, he dreamed of his God.

    “How much would you be willing to sacrifice for your people?” Asked the Dark One.

    Redcloak didn’t remember his words, but had a feeling they involved falling over himself to say he would give up anything he had, anything in the whole world if it pleased the Dark One, who just smiled, and said, “That’s what I wanted to hear. Terribly sorry, but I just couldn’t wait to ask your permission. I was just confirming that you’d be okay with what’s happening to your body right now.”

    That was when Redcloak realised that he lacked a physical body, and that if he directed his attention downwards, he could see what was happening to his body. If he’d had a stomach, he’d have thrown up.

    “Way to take one for the team!” Grinned the Dark One. “I’ll return your soul to your body when the Snarl’s done with it. Think about how much we’re learning as we speak!”

    Redcloak didn’t agree or disagree, he just watched numbly as the cosmic abomination finished doing whatever it was doing with his body, and spat it back out on the hard floor of his study.

    ----

    He jerked awake, naked, cold, hurting in places he didn’t know had nerve endings, and filled with the terrible knowledge of what had happened to him the previous night. Of course, he was filled with more terrible knowledge a few weeks later when the urine sample came back positive: He was pregnant.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  6. - Top - End - #426
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Okay! I'm back from the dentist! The good news is that my Cavity Count is still at 0!

    The bad news that that I have crowns on my molars (The enamel came in way, WAY too thin; had them since 3rd grade) and well, one of them cracked. So I have to go back on Wednesday to get them fixed.

    In any case, the roller rolled up Vaarsuvius/IFCC. Which is probably gonna end up canon anyway, but I decided to have some fun with it. (And frankly I kinda see Rich doing something like this as well.)

    Spoiler
    Show

    Vaarsuvius woke up in the Abyss. Or rather, the elf's soul woke up in the Abyss.

    "I guess I died in that explosion...And the demons have come to collect their debt. I will be able to endure this for the half-hour or so that I am indebted to them. And I am sure Sir Greenhilt has purchased other diamonds as well."

    The IFCC appeared in front of Vaarsuvius.

    "You've got it?"

    "Right here. Play it." The third took out some sort of machine and pressed a button on it. Vaarsuvius closed hir eyes, expecting the worst pain imaginable and then some.

    Instead...


    Please allow us to introduce ourselves
    We are men of wealth and taste
    We've been around for a long, long year
    Stole many a man's soul and faith


    And we were 'round when Lord Shojo
    Had his moment of doubt and pain
    Made damn sure that Miyazaki
    Drew her sword and sealed his fate


    "You what?!"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess our names
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game


    "Well, yes, it is quite a conundrum, but--"

    We stuck around Azure City
    When we saw it was a time for a change
    Killed Shojo and the noblemen
    Prince Hinjo screamed in vain


    "But you just said that--"

    We rode a dragon
    in the general's rank
    When the battle raged
    And the bodies stank


    Vaarsuvius clutched hir head in pain from the memories. "You--"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess our names, oh yeah
    Ah, what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, oh yeah


    "I believe I already stated that--"

    We watched with glee
    While your kings and queens
    Fought for ten centuries
    For the gods they made


    We shouted out,
    "Who killed the Black Dragons?"
    When after all
    It was you and us


    "Please do not remind me of--

    Let us please introduce ourselves
    We are men of wealth and taste
    And we laid traps for hobgoblins
    Who get killed before they reach old age


    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, oh yeah, get down, baby


    "I refuse to--Wuh! Unhand me, you infernal--"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
    But what's confusing you
    Is just the nature of our game


    "Must you constantly repeat that?!"


    Just as every paladin is a criminal
    And all the sinners saints
    As heads is tails
    Just call us Lucifer
    'Cause we're in need of some restraint


    So if you meet us
    Have some courtesy
    Have some sympathy, have some taste
    Use all your well-learned politesse
    Or we'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah


    "..."

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, mmm yeah
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, mmm mean it, get down


    Tell us baby, what's our names
    Tell us honey, can ya guess our names
    Tell us baby, what's our names
    We tell you one time, you're to blame


    ".............."

    ===
    "Resurrection!"

    Vaarsuvius awoke in hir proper body this time, surrounded by the rest of the order. The elf coughed a couple of times then drew hir legs around hir knees in a fetal position.

    "Vaarsuvius! Are you okay?"

    "...I do not wish to talk about it."


    So what do you guys think?
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-08 at 01:35 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #427
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Spoiler
    Show

    The Dark One would do anything to gain knowledge of The Snarl. It wasn’t exactly a secret. All of the other gods knew it, but what they didn’t know was how far he would go to gain that knowledge, and what he would do with it once he had it.

    Redcloak was about to find out the answer in the worst way possible.

    ----

    It hadn’t been an easy few weeks for Redcloak. He’d been having the strangest dreams about groups of strangers with nothing better to do than torture him for their amusement. So he was surprised when, for the first time in a long time, he drifted into sleep, and was spared from bizarrely erotic dreams. Instead, he dreamed of his God.

    “How much would you be willing to sacrifice for your people?” Asked the Dark One.

    Redcloak didn’t remember his words, but had a feeling they involved falling over himself to say he would give up anything he had, anything in the whole world if it pleased the Dark One, who just smiled, and said, “That’s what I wanted to hear. Terribly sorry, but I just couldn’t wait to ask your permission. I was just confirming that you’d be okay with what’s happening to your body right now.”

    That was when Redcloak realised that he lacked a physical body, and that if he directed his attention downwards, he could see what was happening to his body. If he’d had a stomach, he’d have thrown up.

    “Way to take one for the team!” Grinned the Dark One. “I’ll return your soul to your body when the Snarl’s done with it. Think about how much we’re learning as we speak!”

    Redcloak didn’t agree or disagree, he just watched numbly as the cosmic abomination finished doing whatever it was doing with his body, and spat it back out on the hard floor of his study.

    ----

    He jerked awake, naked, cold, hurting in places he didn’t know had nerve endings, and filled with the terrible knowledge of what had happened to him the previous night. Of course, he was filled with more terrible knowledge a few weeks later when the urine sample came back positive: He was pregnant.
    I finally know why we're asked to bring brain bleach.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Spoiler
    Show

    Vaarsuvius woke up in the Abyss. Or rather, the elf's soul woke up in the Abyss.

    "I guess I died in that explosion...And the demons have come to collect their debt. I will be able to endure this for the half-hour or so that I am indebted to them. And I am sure Sir Greenhilt has purchased other diamonds as well."

    The IFCC appeared in front of Vaarsuvius.

    "You've got it?"

    "Right here. Play it." The third took out some sort of machine and pressed a button on it. Vaarsuvius closed hir eyes, expecting the worst pain imaginable and then some.

    Instead...


    Please allow us to introduce ourselves
    We are men of wealth and taste
    We've been around for a long, long year
    Stole many a man's soul and faith



    And we were 'round when Lord Shojo
    Had his moment of doubt and pain
    Made damn sure that Miyazaki
    Drew her sword and sealed his fate


    "You what?!"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess our names
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game


    "Well, yes, it is quite a conundrum, but--"

    We stuck around Azure City
    When we saw it was a time for a change
    Killed Shojo and the noblemen
    Prince Hinjo screamed in vain


    "But you just said that--"

    We rode a dragon
    in the general's rank
    When the battle raged
    And the bodies stank


    Vaarsuvius clutched hir head in pain from the memories. "You--"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guess our names, oh yeah
    Ah, what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, oh yeah


    "I believe I already stated that--"

    We watched with glee
    While your kings and queens
    Fought for ten centuries
    For the gods they made


    We shouted out,
    "Who killed the Black Dragons?"
    When after all
    It was you and us


    "Please do not remind me of--

    Let us please introduce ourselves
    We are men of wealth and taste
    And we laid traps for hobgoblins
    Who get killed before they reach old age


    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, oh yeah, get down, baby


    "I refuse to--Wuh! Unhand me, you infernal--"

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
    But what's confusing you
    Is just the nature of our game


    "Must you constantly repeat that?!"


    Just as every paladin is a criminal
    And all the sinners saints
    As heads is tails
    Just call us Lucifer
    'Cause we're in need of some restraint


    So if you meet us
    Have some courtesy
    Have some sympathy, have some taste
    Use all your well-learned politesse
    Or we'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah


    "..."

    Pleased to meet you
    Hope you guessed our names, mmm yeah
    But what's puzzling you
    Is the nature of our game, mmm mean it, get down


    Tell us baby, what's our names
    Tell us honey, can ya guess our names
    Tell us baby, what's our names
    We tell you one time, you're to blame


    ".............."

    ===
    "Resurrection!"

    Vaarsuvius awoke in hir proper body this time, surrounded by the rest of the order. The elf coughed a couple of times then drew hir legs around hir knees in a fetal position.

    "Vaarsuvius! Are you okay?"

    "...I do not wish to talk about it."
    GAAAAAH!!!
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  8. - Top - End - #428
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    I finally know why we're asked to bring brain bleach.
    Just be glad that Cracklord didn't write it.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  9. - Top - End - #429
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    And now I find myself wondering what the child of such a union would look like. I have a feeling someone should come take away my colored pencils.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  10. - Top - End - #430
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    And now I find myself wondering what the child of such a union would look like. I have a feeling someone should come take away my colored pencils.
    *Hands CheeseMuncher an extra pack of colours and a pencil sharpener*
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  11. - Top - End - #431
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Silverraptor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    *Hands CheeseMuncher an extra pack of colours and a pencil sharpener*
    Why?!

    WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!

    Begins to weep in corner.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

    *Avatar by Me*

  12. - Top - End - #432
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post

    GAAAAAH!!!
    GAAAAAH!!!? Why GAAAAAH!!!?

  13. - Top - End - #433
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    Rettu Skcollob's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    This thread is HUGE! That means it has HUGE SQUICK! READ AND SQUIRM, READ AND SQUIRM!

    Yet more precious study time lost, I hope you guys are happy. :P
    Last edited by Rettu Skcollob; 2009-11-08 at 03:56 AM.
    Feel free to catch me on MSN if you ever feel like a chat! You can find me under "ChocolateHeathen (At) Hotmail (Dot) com", most days.


  14. - Top - End - #434

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Rettu Skcollob View Post
    This thread is HUGE! That means it has HUGE SQUICK! READ AND SQUIRM, READ AND SQUIRM!

    Yet more precious study time lost, I hope you guys are happy. :P
    No, no we aren't.

    Because lost study time = less time to spend with us all in the long run.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  15. - Top - End - #435
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    esmerelder's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Hey, I'm just happy someone else is wasting all their study time too!


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  16. - Top - End - #436
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    Hey, I'm just happy someone else is wasting all their study time too!
    Wasting? On the contrary: we're sharpening up our creative writing, typing and drawing skills.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  17. - Top - End - #437
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Are you kidding me? This literary improv stuff is great! It's amazing for brushing up on my creative writing skills; my English teacher thinks that I'm freaking fantastic (It also helps that I completely blew him away with the first essay test of the year.)

    (Uhm, what did you guys think of the last crack fic-let I just did? The V/IFCC with Sympathy For The Devil one?)
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-08 at 07:49 AM.

  18. - Top - End - #438
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Are you kidding me? This literary improv stuff is great! It's amazing for brushing up on my creative writing skills; my English teacher thinks that I'm freaking fantastic (It also helps that I completely blew him away with the first essay test of the year.)
    It's a pity I didn't take English this year, but there's just not enough storywriting compared to squeezing sense out of literature.

    (Uhm, what did you guys think of the last crack fic-let I just did? The V/IFCC with Sympathy For The Devil one?)
    It's V I have sympathy for now.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  19. - Top - End - #439
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    I drew V and RC's child. It's not pretty. Should I post it?

    P.S.:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Other than the top of the head and that line thing near the sleeve, I almost kinda like it.
    Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-11-08 at 08:06 AM.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  20. - Top - End - #440
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    I drew V and RC's child. It's not pretty. Should I post it?
    Go for it. Now I want to know what it looks like.

    V looks surprisingly serene in that picture.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 08:34 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  21. - Top - End - #441

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    V looks surprisingly serene in that picture.
    Too serene... she's planning something... *insert non-existent paranoia smiley*
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  22. - Top - End - #442
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    V looks surprisingly serene in that picture.
    I figured someone has to give poor V a time-out for a baby bonding session. Wait, actually...

    Too serene... she's planning something... *insert non-existent paranoia smiley*
    ...I just remembered that she had no qualms about aborting said baby. Paranoia smiley indeed.

    This picture is based on the assumption that she lives to grow up. It's based on CheeseMuncher's picture from a lot of pages back. Except my version doesn't have colors, so she just looks like an elf with tiny fang...tusk things.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Only after I took the photo did I realize that her head was freaking huge. So I attempted to shrink it, but I think I might have overdone it? I can't decide whether I did or not.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  23. - Top - End - #443

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    Spoiler
    Show

    Only after I took the photo did I realize that her head was freaking huge. So I attempted to shrink it, but I think I might have overdone it? I can't decide whether I did or not.
    :3 It looks awesome!

    *sigh* Silly people being better at art than I am.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  24. - Top - End - #444
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    She's cute. :D

    I wonder if she'll be as genocidal as her parents.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  25. - Top - End - #445
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Awesome pic!

    ...One would hope not...

  26. - Top - End - #446
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    She's cute. :D

    I wonder if she'll be as genocidal as her parents.
    I wonder whether she'd be a wizard or a cleric...
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  27. - Top - End - #447

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I wonder whether she'd be a wizard or a cleric...
    Gestalt.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  28. - Top - End - #448
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    God: Water-Smurf. Domains: Crack and Squick.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  29. - Top - End - #449
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Ooh! Ooh! Can I be a cleric?

  30. - Top - End - #450
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Ooh! Ooh! Can I be a cleric?
    Aren't we all already Clerics of Cracklord?

    Remember that thing when we first posted here, when we had to sign in blood?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 10:11 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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