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  1. - Top - End - #661
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jothki View Post

    Edit: Someone please ask the inevitable follow-up question. I already figured out the answer.
    a"who is the unicorn/earth pony?"

    b"fleur, or w/e that model's name was"

    a"oh dear celestia i hope not"

    b"yeah that would be silly"

    something like that?
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  2. - Top - End - #662
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by horngeek View Post
    Out of interest (and from the title) what is people's personal Fanon?
    Derpy is Dinky's mom.

    That's it, really. Never seen much point to fanon in general, but Derpy and Dinky fan art is way too cute for me not to like it.

    Zevox
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    "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis

  3. - Top - End - #663
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Yet more additional stuff!

    Alicorns can grant other beings Sponsored Magic (as in the Dresden Files RPG). They don't actually know that, though.

    It was Cadance's idea to send the letters back to Twilight in Return of Harmony Part 2. They knew that Twilight had fallen to Discord's manipulations, and Cadance knew the letters returning would be enough of a kick to snap her out of it. All three alicorns apologised to Spike afterwards, though.

    On Twilight becoming Star Alicorn: yeah, that's in my headcanon too, like I've said before.

    Does anyone know if there are any good fics which involve the rest of the Mane 6 becoming Alicorns as well?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Revlid View Post
    And so it was that Zaeed, Aang, Winry, Ezio, Sadoko and Snow White all set out on their epic journey to destroy The Empire.

    God I love Exalted.


    Gold Dragon avatar by Serpentine


  4. - Top - End - #664
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Diego Havoc View Post
    The only way to get rid of temptation is to give into it.
    Oh no. I'm not falling for that again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aotrs Commander View Post
    It certainly toughens you up, I'll say that! I mean, it's like intensive combat training every day! You can't simulate that sort of beating... I must be getting loads of near-death expereince, to coin a Rolemaster phrase. So when someone else hits me, by comparison, it doesn't... hurt... so.. much...

    ...

    ...

    Oh my Lichemaster.

    You...

    All this time, you...

    I don't...


    Keep telling you it's for your own good, Hopereaver...
    The bearings have continued until morale improved!
    Huzzah!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luka View Post
    ......ugh
    Now I get why Mauve shirt got mad at ponies on the counting thread .....
    I don't.
    Why did mauve shirt get mad at ponies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabenson View Post
    The reason that Princess Celestia lost to Chrysalis was that she held far too much back; had Celestia fought at her full strength, she would have won easily (and probably vaporized a good chunk of Canterlot). The last time that Celestia had gone full power, the result was the wasteland that currently houses Appleloosa and Dodge.
    Why? I never understood that.
    Such energy output is directly antithetical to the universe the show exists in. The elements of harmony represent the in/continuity pinnacle of Power, and do no such vaporizing and blasting (outside of saving Soarin's bacon).
    God hood isn't measured by how cool and destructive your lasers are, so that's out.
    If Celestia could survive channeling the power to decimate the landscape, she wouldn't have been phased by Chryssie's "paltry" and obviously nonlethal laserbeam, as well. And it wasn't an overload of her magic backfiring, or the I controlled explosion wouldn't have been restrained.

    I just don't see why "most powerful unicorn who isn't Twilight" means nuclear powered avatar of destruction. It feels wrong.

  5. - Top - End - #665
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    since everyone has derpy headcanon
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    i figured I'd destroy all your pancreases
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  6. - Top - End - #666
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by horngeek View Post
    Does anyone know if there are any good fics which involve the rest of the Mane 6 becoming Alicorns as well?
    The only one that comes to mind is My Little Timelord. Even then, it's not so much a story about how they become alicorns so much as it is about Dr. Whooves fighting a corrupt Twilight Sparkle. It's good, but probably not what you're looking for.

    EDIT: Also, found this by browsing online. I haven't read it, so I can't guarantee quality.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2012-05-04 at 12:33 AM.
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  7. - Top - End - #667
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by thubby View Post
    since everyone has derpy headcanon
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    i figured I'd destroy all your pancreases
    Well, there goes the 3rd one this month. I should probably go buy a few more. :/
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  8. - Top - End - #668
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by thubby View Post
    since everyone has derpy headcanon
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    i figured I'd destroy all your pancreases
    You...You monster! How...How could you do this to us!...

    *Fires Orbital Bombardment*


    ...Now I need to go find another pancreas...*Sniff*
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2012-05-04 at 12:31 AM.
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  9. - Top - End - #669
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    My head-canon is that Celestia has a very big sweet tooth that she tries to hide. Partly inspired by an unfinished fic someone did where Celestia is forced by a law she passed for her own protection to go on a diet. I believe the explanation to Luna from her and an adviser went something like this...

    "Why do you have to go on a diet?"
    "Well, as Princess I have to keep an image as a good role model. "
    "Even so..."
    "...and it's for my own protection as well. I tend to go a bit overboard sometimes. For example, the century of comfort food after the moon incident."
    "We had to cart her to the throne room in a wheelbarrow."
    "NOT HELPING!"
    "... or the year the potato chip was invented...
    ... and let's not forget the decade of cheesecake...
    ... and I don't think the royal guards have ever recovered from the time you discovered the use of food in the bedroom."
    "I think Luna gets the picture now, right?!"
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  10. - Top - End - #670
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxtronaut View Post
    Well, there goes the 3rd one this month. I should probably go buy a few more. :/
    you should sell your soul to my dark master. all the free pancreases you can eat.
    btw, how goes the rewrite? I'm getting a little bored with this other stuff and you can't keep me contained forever mortal

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    You...You monster! How...How could you do this to us!...

    *Fires Orbital Bombardment*


    ...Now I need to go find another pancreas...*Sniff*
    *walks out from behind a nearby lamppost*
    monster, you say?
    no, my little bronie, this
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    is a monster. i call him gummy. we're going to have so much fun once his family gets here.
    Last edited by thubby; 2012-05-04 at 12:51 AM.
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  11. - Top - End - #671
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Athaniar View Post
    Headcanon/personal fanon, let's see...

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    Celestia getting defeated by Chrysalis doesn't mean the former is weak, it means the latter was, at that moment, incredibly powerful. It's like Morgoth and Ungoliant, in a way.
    Exactly my thoughts as well! It makes a good parallel (of a sort), since Morgoth was nothing less than the most powerful Vala in existence, but when Ungoliant drained the life out of the Two Trees and grew to enormous size, she trounced him easily.

    (image, spoilered for size)

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    Yes, that small guy holding the Silmaril-gems in his right hand is Morgoth, and those specks impaled on spears around him are full-grown men. Sleep well (I didn't, after seeing this picture).


    Also, some thoughts on Cadance (inspired by re-reading LOTR):

    Age-wise, Princess Cadance is more or less the Legolas of alicorns. Legolas, being the youngest elf in The Lord of the Rings, was around 500-1000 years old by the time the Fellowship was formed - compare that to elves such as Glorfindel, Galadriel, or Elrond, who were around 8152, 7179, and 6530 years old during the same period, respectively.

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    Current avatar by Cuthalion. Thanks a lot!

  12. - Top - End - #672
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Somebody tell me how this would not make Power Rangers better.

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    Also, if you missed the link, here's a pretty decent pony bullet hell game.
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  13. - Top - End - #673
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    fanon
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    Fluttershy/Trixie soul mates

    Big Mac is with Pinkie Pie

    Twilight/Cherrilee (she has always had a thing for teachers)

    the knowledge that the mayor dies her hair to look older than she is just strengthened my belief that she is carrying a serious torch for AJ

    griffon lands....i see as a neutral land like switzerland-- but not through being small and hard to get to..more like size of russia but with a mentality almost ferengi like..they hire out anywhere and to do anything..its all about the bits

    Ponies not only make ME want to be a better person than I was before they entered my life, they make me want to HELP OTHERS be better people too.

    And that is a GOOD thing by any definition.

    full size avatar

  14. - Top - End - #674
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Proof-readers and grammar nazis needed!

    So I sent my story (The Nightmare Sonata) to EqD and got a mail back saying it had "a number of fundamental mistakes with grammar and formatting in the first few paragraphs alone, enough that I stopped keeping track after the tenth." They didn't specify, just told me to get someone else to review it ("but... I already did ")

    I've been looking at those first ten paragraphs and can't see anything obvious. I suspect maybe the commas aren't perfect in a few places, but I really can't see commas being "fundamental mistakes with grammar" so that can't be all, right? Maybe it's just because "me not speake so good english"

    On the positive side they did like the story and apparently just focus insanely on grammar and punctuation. I really want to see it on EqD (and so do they from what they said), so please, someone give it a good combing for grammar and punctuation and I'll be eternally grateful.

  15. - Top - End - #675
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Well, I can't really find anything atrociously wrong with the story, or even with grammar. You might want to cut back the length of your sentences, and vary sentence structure. It's an intriguing story.

    Small old-english correction. "Thy" is 'yours' when the next word starts with a consonant sound. "Thine" is used for vowel sounds because it blends more nicely. Therefore, in the sentence, ""Miss Lyra Heartstrings, for thine monumental contributions to the Arts..." it would be more correct to use Thy.
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  16. - Top - End - #676
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    Well, I can't really find anything atrociously wrong with the story, or even with grammar. You might want to cut back the length of your sentences, and vary sentence structure. It's an intriguing story.

    Small old-english correction. "Thy" is 'yours' when the next word starts with a consonant sound. "Thine" is used for vowel sounds because it blends more nicely. Therefore, in the sentence, ""Miss Lyra Heartstrings, for thine monumental contributions to the Arts..." it would be more correct to use Thy.
    Thanks. I knew something sounded off about that "thine", don't remember how I concluded it ought to be correct but it probably involved wikitionary and tired eyes.

    There must be something more, though. There were apparently "numerous" mistakes.

  17. - Top - End - #677
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadly View Post
    Proof-readers and grammar nazis needed!

    So I sent my story (The Nightmare Sonata) to EqD and got a mail back saying it had "a number of fundamental mistakes with grammar and formatting in the first few paragraphs alone, enough that I stopped keeping track after the tenth." They didn't specify, just told me to get someone else to review it ("but... I already did ")
    I'm sorry! I tend to ignore grammar concerns and focus on hand-wavy structure-concepty stuff when I read and review.

  18. - Top - End - #678
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Fanon? Preparing to fire:

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    Alicorns are ponies who embody certain extremely powerful elements. Celestia is the embodiment of the sun, Luna the moon, and Cadence is the embodiment of love. An Alicorn is born of normal ponies, but is born with their cutie marks inscribed in them. Their roles are fixed from birth, and as recompense for having no opportunities to decide their own lives they gain power (political, magical, even longer lives).

    The Mane 6 are actually still rather young, between 16 and 18 in human years. This explains why only Rarity, with her ability to effortlessly acquire gemstones, is in possession of an independent business. I haven't decided on actual ages, but I believe Pinkie Pie and Twilight are the youngest, while Applejack and Rarity are the oldest. (we know Fluttershy is older than pinkie pie by a year, and then the rest is personality based.)

    There are roughly three times as many females as males in Equestria, due to formerly having a harem society. In a human society this would manifest as undue competition, but it is not in pony society because of their longevity. It has been established that ponies can live centuries, and over the course of that time they switch partners. The usual arrangement is for a male and a female to raise a family together, and once it has reach adulthood move on to other partners. This explains the endless population explosion of Equestrian society, with its massive cities and constant expansion into dangerous areas (deserts, ever-free forest, etc) despite the low level of agriculture.

    I like Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash, Twilight/Celestia, and Cherilee/Big Mac. These have nothing to do with them being together or not (honestly I doubt it), but I like those pairings. I do believe Rarity and Spike have something going on, and the age paradox is slightly alleviated by the maximum age ponies can obtain.

    I believe there are roughly twice as many Earth Ponies as Unicorns and Pegasi combined, and this is obscured in Ponyville due to its geographic closeness to Canterlot (mostly Unicorns) and Cloudsdale (all Pegasi). In the other major population centers there are far more Earth Ponies then otherwise.
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  19. - Top - End - #679
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    One other point of my headcanon: The Dr. Whooves+Derpy stuff happened, but in an alternate version of Equestria. However, because it's Dr. Whooves, they can pop into the "main" timeline from time to time without messing anything up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    Contest Entrants!

    DBC:
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    His name is Ted. Like Apple Bloom and friends, he was a late bloomer. Unlike those three, he got no hints from his name, as his parents had named him after a Griffon friend, so he didn't even know where to start. He tried everything. Then, one day, he went with his parents to Cookware and Hammocks and he saw... it.

    It was the perfect frycook's spatula. He could use it to fight crime! Donning a set of dark sunglasses and growing his best 70s moustache, he changed his name to Spatula Cop. He now defends Ponyville from all who threaten it!

    ... since there were no crimes or disasters in Ponyville until Twilight Sparkle showed up, he paid the bills by being a fry cook.


    Anarion
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    Snap Shot had never quite understood his name. Oh sure, from the moment of birth everypony knew he was going to be a photographer. It didn't matter that there had never been an artist in the family for at least three generations, with a name like Snap Shot, the very first thing his parents had bought him was a toy camera, and he'd been overjoyed ever since.

    No, the problem with his name is that Snap Shot had never taken a quick photo in his life. When he started playing with that camera as a foal, he would take his time and line it up just so. Flower Wishes used to laugh at him for it when they started school because he would try and line up shots of her favorite daisies. Problem was, he had to readjust every time a little breeze blew them out of position. He was a perfectionist and he knew it. And that made him wonder what in the hay his parents were thinking naming him Snap Shot.

    In 2nd grade, when some of his classmates began getting their cutie marks, he started getting a little worried. Particularly after even Firecracker Burst got her cutie mark and they had to hold classes in Twilight's library until all the ash had been cleared out and the floorboards replaced. He was a photographer, he had always known it. So why no cutie mark? It could have been a camera, or film, or a picture frame, but something should have come by this point.

    The breakthrough, as breakthroughs are wont to do, came unexpectedly. Flower Wishes had begged him to come out hiking with her. Apparently there was a rare type of violet on the other side of the Ponyville mountains and her parents wouldn't let her hike that far alone, even though she was sure she would be fine and had totally hiked that far before and besides did they think she was still a foal that couldn't be trusted not to wander off somewhere? Faced with that sort of tirade, Snap Shot had no choice but to go, even though he thought it would be boring. He still wanted to take pictures and had been busy composing a new shot in his living room of his sister's stuffed animal collection. At least they didn't move in the wind.

    He still had his camera, but he was less than sanguine about getting any shots. Still, they hiked. And hiked. And hiked. It occurred to Snap Shot that a spindly unicorn was, perhaps, not the best choice for a traveling companion. But he soldiered on anyway, while Flower kept looking to and fro, seeing if she could spot her rumored violets.

    And then, they reached the top of the mountain. And down below, there was a sea of flowers, and a look, and yet another mountain in the distance. Snap Shot was tired, perhaps even a little delirious, and when he got there and finally stopped to rest, he moved without even thinking, lifted his camera and simply pressed the shutter. He put it back down and just turned to Flower: "It sure is beautiful isn't it? I wish I had the time to get the shot just right."

    "Silly, she said, you just took a picture. I saw you! Now let's head down, I bet I see those violets in that valley down there!"

    Snap Shot just sat in awe, before he picked up his camera, aimed it at the view and started clicking away, while a small landscape gradually appeared on his flank.


    Maxtronaut
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    His name's Dreamcatcher, His CM is, wouldn't ya know it, a dreamcatcher. He is an insomniac as well as a schizophrenic. He has an imaginary zebra friend named Bandia, and acknowledges the fact that he is not real. However, he's still fun to talk with sometimes. So, Dreamcatcher was a late bloomer, I mean Really late. He got his cutie mark because his father, Frederic Horshoepin (look him up on the MLP Wiki), was complaining of increasingly realistic nightmares. He ended up in the hospital, and Dreamcatcher decided to stay with him that night. Surprisingly, Dreamcatcher fell asleep, but his dream wasn't his own. He had entered his father's nightmare. Dreamcatcher watched as a creature, much akin to the weird black ooze pony that is now Thubby's pet, appears. It sits down at his Frederic's piano and starts playing a beautiful melody. Dreamcatcher finds his father and asks him why he is covering his ears. Frederic claims that he must cover his ears because the ooze pony is emitting an awful screeching sound, which he can't block out, even though he's covering his ears. Dreamcatcher eventually convinces his father to uncover his ears, and he hears the beautiful music as well. The creature beckons for Frederic to sit next to it and play along with it. Frederic does in fact sit down next to it and helps to make the song even more amazing. The two ponies stand and take a bow to the sound of thunderous applause. The creature fades away, and the dream ends. Dreamcatcher wakes up, in the early morning to find that he now has his cutie mark, and Frederic is sleeping peacefully. He awakens moments later, and thanks his son.


    Amish Pirate

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    The Cork family had been in the bottled drink business for longer than most ponies cared to remember. The current head of the family, Pop Cork, was a virtuoso of juice; mixing and blending flavors into masterpieces of beverage came to him as easy as breathing. So sure was he that his son would follow in his hoofsteps, that he even named him for the peculiar bottle caps his drink bottles so often used. Crown Cork, as fate would have it, had other ideas. Ever since he could hold a brush, he'd always found a special sort of peace when he was putting paint to paper. And in terms of technical ability, he was a prodigy. Nopony could match his skill for painting exactly the picture he meant to paint. Just one thing kept him from the easel cutie mark he was so sure he deserved. His attention to detail was so meticulous, that he took days to finish what other artists could accomplish in minutes. Ages of practice, practice, and more practice, and he never could manage to improve enough. His flank was still blank.

    His father took this failing as a sign from Celestia herself. Why else would his artistry fail, if not to drive the young colt to the family business where he belonged? Despondent from his lack of a cutie mark, Crown soon found himself believing his father's words and took up work putting on the very caps he was named for. The bottled drink business held none of the magic of a paintbrush, but he couldn't turn down the promise of discovering his talent. He likely would've kept on this miserable path, were he a little less clumsy. While forcing on a particularly stubborn cap, Crown managed to nearly bend it in two. He was about to throw it away, when something about about the plain metal cap caught his eye. The way the metal bent, the way it half-caught the sunlight, it ignited an inspiration in him he hadn't felt in ages. Immediately he tore upstairs and grabbed his leftover paints, only to remember he hadn't bought proper paper in months. With no other option, he plucked out his tiniest brush and set to work on the cap itself.

    The next morning, when Pop Cork came to check on the latest batch of Sunrise Lemonade, he found an amazing sight. On each and every one of the caps, he saw a miniature portrait of the sun rising above a sparkling lake. And at the end of the hallway, he found his son, sleeping amidst a pile of spilled paints and bottle caps just like the ones adorning his flank.


    Diego Dragon

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    **Picks up a windup key from one of his daughter's toys**

    Okay then, I mean, a windup key? For the toy that just seems to keep going... till it hits a wall I guess. Okay, so a story? Well first let me say that this thread is crazy busy! I mean it was one weekend and we have like 12 pages of stuff? Wow, it's like as if the season is still going, you know? But I mean there was a lot of material so obviously it's going to keep on going like the windup key, but I never thought it would be like 12 pages long. Maybe 6-7 pages, but that's like, half the pages right there!
    So anyway, I imagine a little filly that just keeps running running running around with all this energy and loves to keep busy and that's kinda what comes to mind with this windup key, which I guess is one of those kinds of pony that figure out their cutie pretty quickly, hahaha... but puns aside I do think that the windup key could mean they keep on going, not necessarily that they're really fast, but that they got stamina like a robot. And they should have robots, at least, there was that one geeky pony in "Putting Your Hoof Down" that had a robot cutie mark so that must mean something, yeah? I was thinking she'd be a cute tan earth pony with an auburn mane worn short like Twilight, but maybe a little more "wild" if that makes sense? Throw in a pair of pretty light-green eyes and I think we have a cutie. Well, cute filly, not like cutie mark cutie, but that's another good pun.
    And this filly would be at home working in a toy factory, cause that would be so perfect for matching the cutie mark and I'm sure the only hard part is coming with a name. i'm bad with names, but I guess if you think about their mark and talents it's all about matching that up, right? And I'm thinking about it, the ponies get their name at birth, so is there any pony that gets a name that isn't matching their cutie mark? It's almost like either the parents have a "6th sense" for their child's future talents or the name is going to guide their future endevors for what their potential cutie mark will be. I wonder which would be better canon? Anyway, I think two possible names for the filly are Keyana or Windia, you know to play on the windup key cutie. So I dunno what do you think? Keyana or Windia? Keyana or Windia? Keyana or Windia? Keyana or Windia?



    Winner: AmishPirate

    Simple and subvertive, a combination of knowing where you came from and where you're going. Your prize is a theme week - pick a topic, any topic, and I'll have to do a week of drawings somehow related to that theme.

    Runner-up: Anarion

    Exhausting yourself until you stop worrying about perfection is how an awful lot of my writing gets done. Your prize is a reverse dare: Show me a picture of any object and I'll have to write a story about how a pony got that as their cutie mark.
    Cool. Let's go with something traditional and potentially epic and see what we get.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Anarion's right on the money here.
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    I'm sorry! I tend to ignore grammar concerns and focus on hand-wavy structure-concepty stuff when I read and review.
    Yeah. And personally I think those are way more important too. I thought it would be enough because I was sure any errors big enough to get the story turned down would be so glaring that a second pair of eyes couldn't possibly miss them even if you weren't focusing your attention on grammar and spelling.

    And I did get three people to read it, so that ought to have caught all the really bad mistakes, right?

    I mean, I know my English isn't perfect (it is, after all, my second language) but I've always considered myself at least fairly good at it. And I'm usually quite good at spotting spelling and grammar errors myself.

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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    grammar nazi powers needed? on it.

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    Everypony who was anypony were was there

    Their shouts and adulations were cast back and forth across the grand open space where a regal figure was making her way towards the lonely player at the center of all the attention.
    should not be one sentence

    Luna smiled at the crowd, then down at the lone unicorn next to her who looked decidedly uncomfortable in her position.
    this should probably be broken up as well, but the fix is more complicated

    "when We proclaim that this young mare deserves every praise for this, her heavenly new score, the most exquisite Nightmare Sonata!" Her horn flared a light blue as she presented a golden medal accompanied by a new surge of cheers. "And we believe it to be no mere understatement when We say that no pony in the Arts could be more deserving of this honor that We hereby bestow upon thee."
    luna changed who she was talking to mid speech from the crowd to lyra with no transition

    She gazed out at the brilliant eyes around her, all the high and mighty ponies who adored her work and praised it as if it was the purest gold.
    should be 2 sentences, or needs to be tied together better.

    i could see where someone with a thing for grammar would take issue. honestly, though? fixing all of it would be a lot of work for minimal, if any, benefit. and I've seen worse on EQD.
    Last edited by thubby; 2012-05-04 at 03:33 AM.
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aotrs Commander View Post
    Well, whoever that person is/was, they can stop talking because their tone of post annoys me.

    Continue your quote posts, and anyone who has a problem with it can bring up to me, personally.
    Mmm. I'm wallowing a bit still, and coloring things poorly.

    The official story is that posting all in green is against the spirit of the over-formatting rules. I tried to compromise based on post/quote ratio, and deepening the color to maintain the sound I hear without burning out anyone's eyes. This didn't quite work.

    Rawhide adjusted from "try not to post such large amounts of green text" to "do not post all in one color", at which point roughly a dozen people came out of the woodwork to say that, while they didn't want to rock the boat, all had varying degrees of eyestrain; skipping my posts entirely; avoiding entire threads in which I posted.

    I colored my text green because it reflected the sound in my head as I typed. It is the difference between speaking in monotone, and speaking in an upbeat, chipper tone with different rhythm. I tied a lot of myself up in it; you may have noticed tonal shift in my posts; I'm "speaking" in an entirely different voice than the last thirty or so threads.

    I've had a bad run; uncle Sam decided to fleece me, I've had a bit of difficulty with personal issues, been barely able to keep up with my friends, and then a dozen people tell me they've ignored me completely rather than politely ask I change my tact?

    I did what any self-respecting narcissist would do; I went to pout in the corner for a week, mumbling about how they'd all be sorry, while simultaneously trying to be an adult about things. Ambivalence be we works though; some things can't be compromised. So I went out to have a good cry... Then a bitter one... Then an angry one... Then one more for general use, and put on my big girl pants and went about my day.

    So the person nominally responsible really wasnt, and I was just being a baby. I'm mostly better now though

    ...

    Could have sworn I quoted someone else. Too. Hmm.

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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadly View Post
    Proof-readers and grammar nazis needed!

    So I sent my story (The Nightmare Sonata) to EqD and got a mail back saying it had "a number of fundamental mistakes with grammar and formatting in the first few paragraphs alone, enough that I stopped keeping track after the tenth." They didn't specify, just told me to get someone else to review it ("but... I already did ")

    I've been looking at those first ten paragraphs and can't see anything obvious. I suspect maybe the commas aren't perfect in a few places, but I really can't see commas being "fundamental mistakes with grammar" so that can't be all, right? Maybe it's just because "me not speake so good english"

    On the positive side they did like the story and apparently just focus insanely on grammar and punctuation. I really want to see it on EqD (and so do they from what they said), so please, someone give it a good combing for grammar and punctuation and I'll be eternally grateful.
    Reading it now.

    • You've used "crumbled" when you meant "crumpled". More than once.
    • "Bear it with pride" sounds wrong. I'd expect "Wear."
    • "but it lacks... something something". The something has been doubled.
    • You may have over-used the ellipsis. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/gramm...s/ellipsis.htm at least says your use of it is fine, but your lack spacing around it is wrong. Using a unicode ellipsis, "…" or "…", might make them look better as well. Seems kinda of minor though.
    • I'd complain about not using handed quotes, but that would be extremely picky.


    Haven't found anything else in the first third, and normally I notice these things. Good story though. Spoilers:
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    For a second I was going to complain about Lyra walking on clouds and managing to "snap her hoof." But then I realised it was Lyra.
    Last edited by Excession; 2012-05-04 at 03:50 AM.

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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by thubby View Post
    grammar nazi powers needed? on it.

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    Everypony who was anypony were was there

    Their shouts and adulations were cast back and forth across the grand open space where a regal figure was making her way towards the lonely player at the center of all the attention.
    should not be one sentence

    Luna smiled at the crowd, then down at the lone unicorn next to her who looked decidedly uncomfortable in her position.
    this should probably be broken up as well, but the fix is more complicated

    "when We proclaim that this young mare deserves every praise for this, her heavenly new score, the most exquisite Nightmare Sonata!" Her horn flared a light blue as she presented a golden medal accompanied by a new surge of cheers. "And we believe it to be no mere understatement when We say that no pony in the Arts could be more deserving of this honor that We hereby bestow upon thee."
    luna changed who she was talking to mid speech from the crowd to lyra with no transition

    She gazed out at the brilliant eyes around her, all the high and mighty ponies who adored her work and praised it as if it was the purest gold.
    should be 2 sentences, or needs to be tied together better.

    i could see where someone with a thing for grammar would take issue. honestly, though? fixing all of it would be a lot of work for minimal, if any, benefit. and I've seen worse on EQD.
    Thanks. I don't know if it's just this prereader or if they've greatly upped their standards. Fillystata got accepted without a single complaint and I'm sure it's just as full of tiny grammar mistakes like these, if not more so.

    I wouldn't really blame them for high standards, given how many fics they no doubt have to wade through. Maybe it's just to give me a chance to fix a few things, to see if I'm serious about it. Maybe they'll accept it with minimal fixes. I don't know.

    Are you sure about the "was there" instead of "were there" though? I could have sworn that was correct after staring at the wiktionary definitions of "were" and "was" for way too long.


    Quote Originally Posted by Excession View Post
    Reading it now.

    • You've used "crumbled" when you meant "crumpled". More than once.
    • "Bear it with pride" sounds wrong. I'd expect "Wear."
    • "but it lacks... something something". The something has been doubled.
    • You may have over-used the ellipsis. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/gramm...s/ellipsis.htm at least says your use of it is fine, but your lack spacing around it is wrong. Using a unicode ellipsis, "…" or "…", might make them look better as well. Seems kinda of minor though.
    • I'd complain about not using handed quotes, but that would be extremely picky.


    Haven't found anything else in the first third, and normally I notice these things. Good story though.
    Thanks.

    The double "something" is intentional. It's a weak reference to the Simpsons, actually, the Halloween episode parody of "The Shining" where Homer says "No beer and television makes Homer something something" or something like that. But mainly it's just meant to show that Lyra is grasping for words.

    I'm not sure the ellipsis and handed quotes carry over well to dA. They're there in my original document (automatically inserted, because I don't care one way or another about them myself). If that's their complaint then they're certainly being pedantic, though

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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    See, if Bleakbane wasn't so fond of ponies, I'd be sure he was only here to lull us into a false sense of security.

    But I know that's only ONE reason.
    *whistles innocently*

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperordaniel View Post
    Exactly my thoughts as well! It makes a good parallel (of a sort), since Morgoth was nothing less than the most powerful Vala in existence, but when Ungoliant drained the life out of the Two Trees and grew to enormous size, she trounced him easily.
    Ditto.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperordaniel
    (image, spoilered for size)

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    Yes, that small guy holding the Silmaril-gems in his right hand is Morgoth, and those specks impaled on spears around him are full-grown men. Sleep well (I didn't, after seeing this picture).
    Awesome.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperordaniel
    Also, some thoughts on Cadance (inspired by re-reading LOTR):

    Age-wise, Princess Cadance is more or less the Legolas of alicorns. Legolas, being the youngest elf in The Lord of the Rings, was around 500-1000 years old by the time the Fellowship was formed - compare that to elves such as Glorfindel, Galadriel, or Elrond, who were around 8152, 7179, and 6530 years old during the same period, respectively.
    ...

    ...

    And now all I can see is Cadance surfing down stairs and shooting a bow Rarity-Time-Off style.

    And it is Awesome! (Legolas was always my favourite, so I was well chuffed with his Awesome in the movies.)

    Anypony want to try drawing that?



    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    I've had a bad run; uncle Sam decided to fleece me, I've had a bit of difficulty with personal issues, been barely able to keep up with my friends, and then a dozen people tell me they've ignored me completely rather than politely ask I change my tact?
    Well, you know you can vent here as much as you like, we've got your back. And if you need to vent less publically, you know my inbox is always open.

    (That applies to anypony else for that matter.)

  26. - Top - End - #686
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    When was this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Soras Teva Gee View Post
    Do we want to know?
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    I don't.
    Why did mauve shirt get mad at ponies?
    Oh she got mad cuz of shipping and Lemons, then started bashing at ponies in the Counting thread. Well....When she apologised she said it was cuz of that.....
    And yeah I find it pretty messed up too
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luka View Post
    Oh she got mad cuz of shipping and Lemons, then started bashing at ponies in the Counting thread. Well....When she apologised she said it was cuz of that.....
    And yeah I find it pretty messed up too
    The simple answer to that is, don't read any fanfictions like that. Most of them are clearly labelled. (You're unlikely to get a pictures of a sexual nature on these forums, at any rate.) I don't think there's actually much more shipping per fan with ponies than there are in any other fandom (it's just that - for the moment - bronies are generally more "visible.")

    Besides, so long as they don't throw it in your face (which you won't get around here), ultimately, what does it matter to you how people get their jollies? It's no flesh off your bone right? (It's certainly none off mine, and I am disinterested in romance/recreational procreation and all their assorted gubbins, whether it's fictional or otherwise, at the best of times.) The "tolerate" in "love and tolerate" doesn't mean "like," after all, it just means "tolerate." There's a fair few people her who aren't really interested in shipping (and to be fair, I only am if it's a good foil for comedy, or because poor old Spike always gets the short shrift), so you're hardly alone, but it's nothing to get worked up about. Different strokes is all.

    Forgive me if I'm being presumptuous, but I'm getting the impression from your posts you're youngish chap, yes?
    Last edited by Aotrs Commander; 2012-05-04 at 06:42 AM.

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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luka View Post
    Oh she got mad cuz of shipping and Lemons, then started bashing at ponies in the Counting thread. Well....When she apologised she said it was cuz of that.....
    And yeah I find it pretty messed up too
    Shipping lemons?
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    ...huh, "Luna Trucking". Great, now I'll have to edit Luna into the picture. And I'm so short on time today...




    :P
    Last edited by Sean Mirrsen; 2012-05-04 at 06:42 AM.
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    I'm still surprised by the lack of Flutterberg. I'd have thought it was an obvious ship.

    Edit: Woah, Steven Magnet/Discord? I gotta track that down.
    Last edited by SlyGuyMcFly; 2012-05-04 at 06:59 AM.
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    Default Re: My Little Pony XLIIV: Season II Ruined My Fanon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sean Mirrsen View Post
    Shipping lemons?
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    ...huh, "Luna Trucking". Great, now I'll have to edit Luna into the picture. And I'm so short on time today...




    :P
    Lemons going to be the new bananas?

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