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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Hi guys.

    Just thought I'd let all the people with suggestions know, the game is progressing, and should completed by the end of January.

    Once it's finished, I'll post a link for the downloading the game. I'll make sure there are save files near the jokes you've suggested so you don't have to wade through the game looking for your contribution (There's about 5 hours of game per chapter).

    Thanks again for the help, it's all making the game that much better.


    **Post Edit**
    Thought I'd add this conundrum I'm currently on...

    I can't decide about a possible love interest for the male human neutral evil fighter.

    One option is a dim witted female bard. He hates bards, and would have to ask a bunch of bards for tips on how to woo the gal.

    The other option is what appears to be a sweet naive Princess Peach, who turns out to be a maniacal killer dressing like Peach only to encourage people to trust her.

    These are the two gals in question (the Peach look alike only looks like this after she reveals her true nature)

    Last edited by Gnome de plume; 2017-12-03 at 12:09 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #32
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Personification's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    100% go evil peach. Also, she has a side hobby of shoemaking.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.

    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bulhakov View Post
    Quick bounty quest ideas:
    "Runaway psychic midget!" (i.e. the small medium at large)
    The party is currently looking for spiritual guidance. Thanks again for the suggestion.



    Personification, put up the question of who to use on various forums and fb groups, and the response was overwhelmingly "Stop being lazy and make it possible for the player to decide."

    To everyone else who's offered advice. Almost all of the jokes are now written into the game. Sadly Christmas/Family/BrandonSanderson'slatestbook has severely slowed everything down (also contributing to radio silence), but we're half way through the alpha, and hope to have a beta available in a month or so. I'll PM you all links to your various jokes then.
    Last edited by Gnome de plume; 2017-12-30 at 11:15 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Personification's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome de plume View Post

    Personification, put up the question of who to use on various forums and fb groups, and the response was overwhelmingly "Stop being lazy and make it possible for the player to decide."

    To everyone else who's offered advice. Almost all of the jokes are now written into the game. Sadly Christmas/Family/BrandonSanderson'slatestbook has severely slowed everything down (also contributing to radio silence), but we're half way through the alpha, and hope to have a beta available in a month or so. I'll PM you all links to your various jokes then.
    I am honestly not sure to which question you are referring. Also, a belated happy Koloss Head Munching Day!
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.

    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedMage125's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Had this idea back in 3.5e...

    This one works off of homophones.

    Tales tell of the Great Wight Dragon that has terrorized the northern provinces. Entire towns and villages have fallen prey to this menace, and been utterly destroyed, or become the dragon's slaves. This draconic terror has been plaguing the north for years. Everyone lives in fear of the Great Wight Wyrm.

    Now watch your players prepare lots of Fire spells, protection from Cold, and other such preparations, as if fighting a WHITE dragon. When they get there, it's a Red Dragon (not necessarily of the Wyrm age category), with the Wight template applied. Still immune to Fire, btw...
    Red Mage avatar by Aedilred.

    Where do you fit in? (link fixed)

    RedMage Prestige Class!

    Best advice I've ever heard one DM give another:
    "Remember that it is both a game and a story. If the two conflict, err on the side of cool, your players will thank you for it."

    Second Eternal Foe of the Draconic Lord, battling him across the multiverse in whatever shapes and forms he may take.

  6. - Top - End - #36
    Banned
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    Had this idea back in 3.5e...

    This one works off of homophones.

    Tales tell of the Great Wight Dragon that has terrorized the northern provinces. Entire towns and villages have fallen prey to this menace, and been utterly destroyed, or become the dragon's slaves. This draconic terror has been plaguing the north for years. Everyone lives in fear of the Great Wight Wyrm.

    Now watch your players prepare lots of Fire spells, protection from Cold, and other such preparations, as if fighting a WHITE dragon. When they get there, it's a Red Dragon (not necessarily of the Wyrm age category), with the Wight template applied. Still immune to Fire, btw...
    This is pure evil.

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    For some reason, I had thought this was for a tabletop game. I completely missed all this time that it was for a video game.
    Last edited by The Glyphstone; 2018-01-02 at 01:51 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Celestia's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    Had this idea back in 3.5e...

    This one works off of homophones.

    Tales tell of the Great Wight Dragon that has terrorized the northern provinces. Entire towns and villages have fallen prey to this menace, and been utterly destroyed, or become the dragon's slaves. This draconic terror has been plaguing the north for years. Everyone lives in fear of the Great Wight Wyrm.

    Now watch your players prepare lots of Fire spells, protection from Cold, and other such preparations, as if fighting a WHITE dragon. When they get there, it's a Red Dragon (not necessarily of the Wyrm age category), with the Wight template applied. Still immune to Fire, btw...
    Also works as an albino red dragon.
    Princess Celestia's Homebrew Corner
    Old classes, new classes, and more!

    Thanks to AsteriskAmp for the avatar!

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedMage125's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Celestia View Post
    Also works as an albino red dragon.
    Albino dragons don't impose negative levels when they claw/claw/bite.
    Red Mage avatar by Aedilred.

    Where do you fit in? (link fixed)

    RedMage Prestige Class!

    Best advice I've ever heard one DM give another:
    "Remember that it is both a game and a story. If the two conflict, err on the side of cool, your players will thank you for it."

    Second Eternal Foe of the Draconic Lord, battling him across the multiverse in whatever shapes and forms he may take.

  10. - Top - End - #40
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    During a storm the party rogue is accosted by a band of wandering monsters including a toad, a cyclops and a wolverine. It turns out that they were polymorphed, and used to be men.

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    Had this idea back in 3.5e...
    Tales tell of the Great Wight Dragon
    I do love the wight/white mix around. Sadly the game is in text, not voice so I'm not sure how to fit this gag in. I am going to try though.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    For some reason, I had thought this was for a tabletop game. I completely missed all this time that it was for a video game.
    Sorry about the mix up. I wanted to post in this area as tabletop RPGers seem to have a lot more fun with wordplay than CRPGers so I figured the jokes would be better here.
    I did check with Mark Hall before posting in this area, and he said it was ok.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Tom View Post
    During a storm the party rogue is accosted by a band of wandering monsters including a toad, a cyclops and a wolverine. It turns out that they were polymorphed, and used to be men.
    I'm entering this into the game right now <3

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedMage125's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Tom View Post
    During a storm the party rogue is accosted by a band of wandering monsters including a toad, a cyclops and a wolverine. It turns out that they were polymorphed, and used to be men.
    That idea has some mystique...it's sure to be a real dazzler. Kind of a gambit trying to pull it off though. You could celebrate with a real jubilee when you do.
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Nightcrawler.
    Last edited by RedMage125; 2018-01-10 at 11:41 PM.
    Red Mage avatar by Aedilred.

    Where do you fit in? (link fixed)

    RedMage Prestige Class!

    Best advice I've ever heard one DM give another:
    "Remember that it is both a game and a story. If the two conflict, err on the side of cool, your players will thank you for it."

    Second Eternal Foe of the Draconic Lord, battling him across the multiverse in whatever shapes and forms he may take.

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome de plume View Post
    I do love the wight/white mix around. Sadly the game is in text, not voice so I'm not sure how to fit this gag in. I am going to try though.
    "Da Gweat Whaight Dwagon is—"
    "You mean the Great White Dragon?"
    "Sho. Da dwagon..."
    Used to be DMofDarkness
    Old avatar by Elagune.
    Spoiler: Collection of Signature Quotes
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  14. - Top - End - #44
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    She thought it was true love she had found,
    When a handsome young Centaur came 'round.
    But, one rule in the hay,
    And he trotted away.
    He was only horsing around.
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

    I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.

    "A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PopeLinus1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Minstrel is holding the door shut.

    “Quickly I’ve Bard the door!”

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Caelestion's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome de plume View Post
    I do love the wight/white mix around. Sadly the game is in text, not voice so I'm not sure how to fit this gag in. I am going to try though.
    Sight gags are as good as any. :)

    Did you hear about the undead chronomancer whose castle on Temporal Prime was invaded by a group of nine different adventurers, but on handily defeating them all and instead of killing them, the wizard decided to give them really bad haircuts to teach them all a lesson.

    The headline in the papers the next day was, "a lich in time shaves nine."

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Caelestion View Post
    "a lich in time shaves nine."
    HA! Still grinning over that one. I'll have to fit it in somewhere.

    Thanks a bunch :)

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    I once had a player order a bottle of Dwarven Spirits at an Inn.

    When he opened the bottle, 4 Dwarven ghosts spilled out and attacked.


    Although, I really feel like I should be suggesting the OP be at least skimming the Xanth novels ;)
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

    I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.

    "A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Caelestion's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome de plume View Post
    HA! Still grinning over that one. I'll have to fit it in somewhere.

    Thanks a bunch :)
    Thank you. I contorted that one myself. :)

    A little off-topic, but your username is appropriately punny. I approve!

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    "The early Bard catches the Wyrm!"
    "Never put all of your legs in one casket!"
    "Smell hath no fury like a bidet scorned!"
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

    I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.

    "A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedMage125's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mutazoia View Post
    Although, I really feel like I should be suggesting the OP be at least skimming the Xanth novels ;)
    That sounds like...PUN-ishment.
    Last edited by RedMage125; 2018-01-14 at 11:06 PM.
    Red Mage avatar by Aedilred.

    Where do you fit in? (link fixed)

    RedMage Prestige Class!

    Best advice I've ever heard one DM give another:
    "Remember that it is both a game and a story. If the two conflict, err on the side of cool, your players will thank you for it."

    Second Eternal Foe of the Draconic Lord, battling him across the multiverse in whatever shapes and forms he may take.

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by RedMage125 View Post
    That sounds like...punishment.
    Yeah....threaten me with a good time....
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

    I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.

    "A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."

  23. - Top - End - #53
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Archpaladin Zousha's Avatar

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    You could always have two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff by the characters.

    BADUM-TSSHH!
    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

  24. - Top - End - #54
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by kinglinus1 View Post
    Minstrel is holding the door shut.

    “Quickly I’ve Bard the door!”
    Heh.... Yep. I'll try and fit that one in.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    "Da Gweat Whaight Dwagon is—"
    "You mean the Great White Dragon?"
    "Sho. Da dwagon..."
    Thanks for that Fable. I've used accents to hide that type of thing before, but it didn't occur to me to do it this time.

    (There was a "Jade Dragon" who turned out to be a jaded black dragon, and a couple of other places)

    I am starting to run into a problem though... The game is getting saturated in gags to the point where it may start to kill the story.

    PLEASE keep the gags coming, but I can't guarantee I'll use them in the current chapter I'm making.

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

    I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.

    "A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome de plume View Post
    Hi guys, I've been convinced to create a second chapter to a game I'm making, and am looking for inspiration.



    The game, Rapture at Pale Gate, relies (I hope) on wit and storyline more than anything else. Any fantasy based puns or jokes suggested will be gratefully accepted. If your keen, ideas for quests would also be appreciated.

    The party consists of the following:

    Female human chaotic good cleric with barely suppressed anger issues

    Male human neutral evil fighter with an inferiority complex

    Male elf true neutral ranger both naive and gullible

    Female dwarf chaotic good mage with OCD for cleanliness

    Male neutral evil thief/assassin who tries to argue everyone is evil, deep down.

    Male neutral good bard, keen, optimistic and fairly useless.

    Any and all help will be treasured.

    (The gnomes)
    If the Mage got annoyed at the Bard's performances: "Clean up your act!"
    Ranger walking past a music store, guards shout "Stop! You're under a rest!"
    And for Me's (Godbound, after all) sake, make the elf's favourite meal Kale. :P
    Currently taking part in Godbound campaign:
    Oberon, level 3 Dragonborn paladin, Godbound of Sun, Fertility and Health:
    Famed for:
    1) Cutting a Drider Godbound in half with a greatsword
    2) Challenging an Ent Godbound to a fist fight sans godpowers, and winning
    3) Walking the city as a miniature sun and convincing all the rioting citizens that, no, the gods are not dead.
    4) He once bought an apple.

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mutazoia View Post
    I once had a player order a bottle of Dwarven Spirits at an Inn.

    When he opened the bottle, 4 Dwarven ghosts spilled out and attacked.
    I had a character once, who carried two axes, which contained the Spirits of his Ancestors, and a flask, which contained the other sort of spirits of his ancestors.
    Time is but a pattern in the currents of causality,
    an ever changing present that determines our reality,
    the past we see as history, the future seed with prophecy,
    and all the time we think on time our time is passing constantly.
    Starlight and Steam RPG

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    So if anyone is still reading this thread,

    I'm out of ideas. I need a single character side quest for the bard. He's dumber than Elan but incessantly positive and this character trait tends to encourage others to help him succeed. He specialized in Lute as his instrument and also as his weapon, thinking it would give him a double bonus. He goes through a lot of lutes.

    Anyone out there or am I talking to the wind?

  29. - Top - End - #59
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    If we're keeping the pun theme, whoever's giving out the quest could promise a large quantity of loot as a reward. The bard, obviously, mishears this as a large quantity of Lute.

  30. - Top - End - #60
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!

    He contracts a job from an elven craftsman who specializes in lutes. He basically wants him to test the new prototypes, among which there can be:

    -The Ten Stringer (requiring very high dexterity to play)
    -The Electro-Lute (deals +1 electric damage, also very loud)
    -The Battle Lute (metal-shod, and great in battle)

    At the end he could pick one of the prototypes as a reward.

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