LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

[golentan]

[Tangent] - Silly muggers...

"Awesome", I'd say.

Wait a second, a drunken tossup with spiderman and two cage fighters in drag is a bad night? That sounds like AWESOME FUN to me.

Then again, my urge to war has been high this past... decade. Stupid biological conditioning with its stupid predisposition towards combat and its... Anyhoo.

[Asta Kask]

Sleepy but can't sleep. Bugger.

[golentan]

Sleepy but can't sleep. Bugger.

Well, get over here and sleep with me then.

I'm going to give you my go to advice for sleep. Heat up some water or milk (chamomile tea if you've got it).. about half a teaspoon to a teaspoon of ground nutmeg, honey to taste, and ground cloves if aching or other pain is what's keeping you up. Drain it all down and go read for half an hour. If you haven't fallen asleep where you sit by then, go ahead and lie back and make a fresh effort.

[Coidzor]

Add a little bit of cinnamon to that, say, about 1-3 dashes, and a dollop of vanilla and you've got the drink my dad always used to make me when I was having trouble getting to sleep as a little kid.

It may or may not have been an example of the placebo effect at its finest.

[Asta Kask]

I took my new medication in the evening rather than in the morning. It causes sleeplessness...

[golentan]

Add a little bit of cinnamon to that, say, about 1-3 dashes, and a dollop of vanilla and you've got the drink my dad always used to make me when I was having trouble getting to sleep as a little kid.

It may or may not have been an example of the placebo effect at its finest.

It isn't. Nutmeg and Chamomile are (verified) soporifics, and clove is a painkiller. Warm milk may be placebo (I'm not sure), but does seem to help (I think it makes it easier for the digestive system to uptake).

Cinnamon and Vanilla would just be there for flavoring, I think. I know the honey is.

[SiuiS]

Warning: rage inducing

Pah! That's terrible.
Where is this, exactly? I have the good luck to be in California, and was able to work in a kilt (tastefully colored of course) at Starbucks, because it fit within the regs that said employees could wear skirts. But be often wondered if that's because management just didn't care what you had under the apron, as long as it was black or khaki.

Granted, that's backwards from the obvious suggestion here (wear a skirt and get away with it because it's a kilt) but pretty identical otherwise.

*Hugs PairO'Dice Lost*


I just realized something... [morebackstory]

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I used to be really fond of making some fake accent or another growing up. I couldn't figure out which one it was supposed to be, but it felt much more relaxing and easy to use (for short periods of time) than my normal voice.

Thanks to the guide that Astrella linked (thanks again, by the way ), it occurs to me that that "accent" was 'girl'. I made it by resonating the sound in my mouth and nasal cavity, and sometimes tightening my vocal chords a bit.

I thought I grew up cut off from my gender... But now I realize I was dimly aware of it. I... Survived, as it were.

I feel a lot better for realizing that.

To paraphrase Ian Malcolm, "the mind... Finds a way."

Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming.

Cool! Glad things worked out so well.

I just keep wondering what it's like to want a hug. I'm in control of myself enough to (usually) ignore the contact issues and hug people when they want me to, but I don't get anything out of it.

Generally? Terrible. It means you aren't actually getting what you need.

It's also more a... A symbol, say. Wanting to be hugged generally means you want someone wrapped around you; a nod to being comforted, someone else taking the guardian position so you can let your guard down for once and relax, all armor removed. It's an indulgence, and often considered a selfish one. But everyone needs a bit of indulgence every now and then. Indulging in an honest to goodness hug, no strings attached, is a sign of trust.
Luckily, I've got an accommodating filly, but otherwise I'd go stir crazy.

Nothing is safe.
Nothing.

Eyup. I have to second this partic'lar motion.

I would so love to own a kilt but a quality one is so expensive (not to mention I could only wear it in the summer)

Define expensive. A kilt can be bought for several hundred pre-sewn and all that, but a traditional kilt (well, "traditional") isn't sewn at all. Ya buy a five yard long, five foot wide bolt of plaid bolt of woolen fabric, measure out your hip width, and then pleat it by hand, line to line, until you've got a pelvis width panel on either side of a bunch of pleats. Pull one side over, then another; belt it on and gussy it up. The wool, based on quality, can be as low as $65 USD.

The downside is that when you're done and take it off, it unpleats. It's a good amount of effort every day you wan to wear it, unless you have the foresight to fold it the night before.

What, do you live in Siberia or some other place where ye have to go out wearing 2 layers in the summer and 4 or more elsewise?

Because I've worn kilts and if you're talking a proper one, you're talking wool. Which means that you're going to have a sauna around your waist in the summertime. As for yer legs, well, that's why you have a downy covering of fur and an overlayer of woolen stocking.

Aye. It's also darn breathable in the summer. It was the most comfortable garment is worn on a camp out, where it was a record-breaking 117 F in the shade. The fabric creating small breezes as it swayed was helpful, too.

I'm also inclined to say its darn warm in the cold. I hate the cold, and it made it tolerable for me.

To the contrary, I find that massage is generally nothing but a boon to the person who adds it to their repertoire.

*waves* hi! I'm a massage therapist.
Much like gender studies have ruined movies for Serpentine, I have trouble with a lot of common words which don't quite mean what people think they mean. For one, I cnnot help but since whenever I hear 'happy ending' no matter the context. And those who know that but still use the word? I have to wonder. Is it intentional? Are they just being absent minded? Do they disregard my feelings about it? Etc.

There is also masseuse. People often comment on how weird it is that I'm a masseuse. But I'm not a masseuse silly! By matter of technicality, I would be a masseur, not a masseuse. That's just linguistics. Except I'm not a masseur or a masseuse, because those are slang terms for prostitutes, at least in America, Canada and parts of the UK.
It also makes Internet scrounging for jobs more cringeworthy. Red go to craig's list and looked up stuff related to massage? It distresses me that some people throw around sensual massage and cathartic release and spiritual terms like they are valid medical terms.

And Of course there is the weird place where I have to know medical stuff but I can't do medicine. Folks ask me to crack their back all the time, but that's chiropractic medicine. I'd be liable for suing, as it's both malpractice and practicing without a license. Which is dumb, because lay folk can crack each other's joints all the time and no one cares. They don't know enough to be held accountable. And then, well, I'll be honest. Seeing exactly how much of the body excretes and is covered by mucus?

Any knowledge brings a shift in perceptions and responsibilities. Doesn't matter what it is.

It isn't. Nutmeg and Chamomile are (verified) soporifics, and clove is a painkiller. Warm milk may be placebo (I'm not sure), but does seem to help (I think it makes it easier for the digestive system to uptake).

Cinnamon and Vanilla would just be there for flavoring, I think. I know the honey is.

the act of heating up the milk and mixing the drink itself is supposed to be meditative, but I suppose that falls under placebo doesn't it?

[Qaera]

I got a facial today hahaha I've never felt so feminine or pampered~
Followed by a few hours of power tools, PVC, and lumber. Grrrr mantime!
It was weird my mom set up the facial and she is pretty anti lgbt so I dunno whats going on

*rubs cheeks*

~ ♅

[Skeppio]

Now I feel like getting a kilt for spring...

:3

I dunno... I'll have to talk with Skeppio first.

Hehe.

The Succubus, I love you so much.

(In a platonic way, of course. )

Agreed. The Succubus is awesome.

[KenderWizard]

I'm going to my first conference today, and presenting research! Eee!

Of course, then you run into the question over whether uniforms are truly utopian.

Okay, if it was Utopian Solution, rather than Utopian Feminist Solution, we would also have solved bullying and extreme wealth inequality. But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go. Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

Depends on the utopist.

KenderWizard, shame on you. How are we ever going to uphold arbitrary gender norms if we're not allow to segregate boys and girls. You really haven't thought this through.

Damn, I always forget that one!

I'm fine with uniforms. However, I'm specifically fine with affordable (and subsidised), good-quality, comfortable, good looking uniforms with a wide range to choose from. My high school uniform was close enough, but not quite there...

Exactly.

[Tangent] - Silly muggers...

That makes me anxious, because most people who aren't conforming to gender roles are not highly trained fighters.

I took my new medication in the evening rather than in the morning. It causes sleeplessness...

Hate that. Mine causes drowsiness, so I had to change to taking it in the evening.

[Nix Nihila]

I'm going to my first conference today, and presenting research! Eee!

That sounds exciting! What are you presenting on, if I may ask?

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

Yes, after calming back down a bit (I have a knee-jerk reaction when people try to mess with my clothes), I can see how it might be desirable.

[Coidzor]

Hell, I was just pointing out that this is one of those things where there's not necessarily a clear consensus about what the utopian solution would be.

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But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go.

Forcing people to all dress the same would not fix gender inequality in and of itself. Forcing people to all dress the same and then giving them options to not do so just sound contradictory and would allow a loophole allowing your intended goal to be circumvented by those who you would force to change.

And, again, once you're giving non-trivial "options," one might as well be using a dress code rather than having a "uniform" which is anything but.

Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

*shudder* You just reminded me of the horrible, skin-tight jumpsuit uniforms of science fiction.

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc.

I'm pretty sure the general definition of uniform covers cut of shirt and shoes. Though it is rather illuminating to see the cultural differences highlighted.

I'm not sure why, but something about your general tone here just really rubs me the wrong way and reminds me of those satirical lists about privilege that sometimes circulate my feminist contacts on social networks.

Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

Isn't that half the point of the tradition of forcing children to wear uniforms? The nonsensical rules handed down and then garbled in translation from preparatory schools for nobles and people with far too much money.

[Mina Kobold]

Okay, if it was Utopian Solution, rather than Utopian Feminist Solution, we would also have solved bullying and extreme wealth inequality. But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go. Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

I'd go for anti-bullying campaigns and classes on gender and equality, uniforms would be like taking a cookie from the child. It looks mean to the kid, but clearly it must be OK to take away stuff from those under you if the adults do it. Authoritative parenting* is quite counter-productive that way. ^_^'

Wouldn't freedom with hair and accessories just allow the bullies to reinforce arbitrary rules, by the way? If they already think they can force people to follow their rules, then they would probably continue with whatever they can latch on to. I think, I could easily have missed an important point

*This is taken from the Psychology classes I've had, but I am no professional. Please take all that I say with a grain of salt and a spoonful pepper. :3

[Heliomance]

Why hello again, dysmorphia. It's been a while. Oh, and I see you're stronger than I remember. Fantastic.

Stupid body.

[Mono Vertigo]

On the subject of school uniforms: heh... I'm against them because I don't enjoy that sort of conformity. On the other hand, I've never had to wear one, never met anyone my age who had to, and I haven't really given much thought to the issue, so my opinion isn't worth more than the 2 proverbial cents.



On the subject of comedic movies centered about a man disguising himself as a woman: that conversation reminded me of a movie I'm not entirely sure what to make of.
In Chouchou, the main character is a migrant who arrived illegally in France to look for his nephew. He turns out to be a transvestite singer, and Chouchou decides to work in the same cabaret as the nephew, as a transvestite. During the movie, Chouchou meets a man at that cabaret, and it's love at first sight. Notably that man always respects and treats Chouchou as a woman, is not surprised by any kind of reveal, and the movie ends with their wedding (in a country that still doesn't allow homosexual marriage). The shenanigans are less about his double identity than about the fact he's an illegal migrant and doesn't know a lot about French culture and norms.
Since Chouchou spends a lot of time disguised as a feminine woman and truly enjoys that persona, I have no idea if he should be considered here as "just" a crossdresser, or as a MtF who has no medical treatment. And I saw the movie a long time ago, so details may be off (for example, I can't remember for sure if Chouchou was a transvestite before or after finding his nephew... I thought he was, but most reviews I'm seeing imply the opposite).
So yeah. I personally think it's better than most other movies on the subject. It, however, wasn't amazing of very memorable.

[Asta Kask]

That sounds exciting! What are you presenting on, if I may ask?

A case study of her being awesome.

[The Succubus]

Agreed. The Succubus is awesome.

I have a long lazy Sunday ahead of me with nothing planned, so I'll be able to work on a certain picture and hopefully have it ready by Sunday evening.

Why hello again, dysmorphia. It's been a while. Oh, and I see you're stronger than I remember. Fantastic.

Stupid body.

I would give your stupid body a bonk on the head but I'm worried about damaging the wonderful contents of it. >.>

[Heliomance]

I would give your stupid body a bonk on the head but I'm worried about damaging the wonderful contents of it. >.>

After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

[Asta Kask]

Poor you. I hope you can resolve this somehow.

In other news:

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[The Succubus]

After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

I don't know if it makes you feel any better but you really do look rather wonderful when you have your androgyny vibe going.

[noparlpf]

Utopian Feminist Solution: Gender-neutral uniforms. WHY IS THIS SO FRIGGIN HARD?! We had stupid skirts, because it was a girl's school, so there was no trouser option like in the mixed schools. I always wanted to have robes like in Harry Potter, so you just wear whatever underneath and have a big robe on so everyone looks the same.

I like this idea. If everyone wore the same thing, like slacks and a shirt and tie, it would be fine.

A difference between us?! If I go a while without a hug I get a physically uncomfortable sensation in my chest, like an emptiness. I can stave it off by tightly cuddling a teddy, but I need a proper hug with a person to cure it. It comes on faster when I'm tired or stressed or lonely. I think I actually run on cuddles.

:0
Is this possible?
I'm not sure what's up with me and hugs because I used to not have issues touching people. I know I liked hugging my ex when we were dating. Nowadays I often sleep hugging my pillows, but the other half of the time hugging my pillows reminds me too much of touching people and I can't so I turn around.

I had similar, only I was the sibling who did worse. ( A difference between us?! ) My brother is about as weird as I am, but for some reason, more popular. I think he would agree that I generally have slightly higher cha than he does; we can both make speeches and present ourselves well, but I can talk to strangers, make small talk, tell jokes and deal with crowds better. But I cannot make friends in a class of my peers. I think after all the horrific experiences of my early secondary school career, I just go on the defensive really fast in a group of people the same age as me who are all learning together, and people think I'm aloof and insane, rather than fun and eccentric.

Is he older or younger? My brother is three years younger.
I also tend to act really weird around people and they all think I'm crazy. I'm really just an eccentric genius. Totally.

Once you see it, you can never unsee it! ("It" being subtle cultural gender inequality, in this context.) I had forgotten about the "He thinks he's attracted to 'her', but 'she's' a dude! So it's, like, GAY!" thing.

This is quite true. It's ruined my (admittedly already weak) ability to enjoy sexist and cissexist media.

I'm with Kender Wizard on this one. I support uniforms, I'm glad I had to wear one through school. I'm absolutely certain that if we'd worn our own clothes, my choice of fashion - and obliviousness to trends - would have been just another thing I got picked on for.

ION, this is old, but heartwarming and awesome.

I would have preferred uniforms just because of how much trouble some of the kids seemed to have dressing themselves. (Skirts too short, pants too low, necklines too low and breasts falling out...)

[H Birchgrove]

A solution to the problem with the blog post and it's troublesome link:

Go to Sincerely, Natalie Reed, scroll down to the post made at 15 February, 2012 at 9:00 am. It's about how persons like me - who for one reason or another like-like trans persons - should and shouldn't behave. Anders (Asta Kask) made some great replies to that post.

PS. Natalie promised me on Twitter to avoid using... *naughty words* in the links in the future.

[Asta Kask]

How not to compliment trans people.

Since I have no life, I have already commented.

[Lix Lorn]

A case study of her being awesome.

But which one? There are so many!

On uniforms: I do not like uniforms. But I can see why they'd be useful.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Okay, I think I understand what you mean; you were using "cis" to mean "heteronormative" as well as "gendernormative"? I think it's only supposed to be an opposite for "trans", though, so it confused me!

Yep. That's what I get for mucking things up. :)

I would pull my hair out and strangle someone if I had to wear a uniform every day.

Expressing my thoughts and emotions through the way I dress (and through other things) is nearly as important to me as presenting myself as female. That's not to say that I don't sometimes dress without art though.

Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.

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Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.

Edit: Dang it!!! I just read Natalie's blog for the first time, and the very first thing I read is how horribly cis-biased what I just wrote was!!! Gah, I hate myself now. I'm so, so sorry to everybody I just offended.

After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

This is wonderful, hon! I'm so proud that you had the courage to do this, and the looks to pull it off. :) Please keep us updated on how things progress. It's refreshing to see somebody identify an issue getting them down, and executing a plan to successfully handle it.

I got a facial today hahaha I've never felt so feminine or pampered~
Followed by a few hours of power tools, PVC, and lumber. Grrrr mantime!
It was weird my mom set up the facial and she is pretty anti lgbt so I dunno whats going on

*rubs cheeks*

~ ♅

How wonderful! :) Sorry you couldn't have more time to enjoy it though. I'm curious as to why your mom set it up. How aware is she of your situation?

I'm curious as to what it was like getting the facial. I've wanted to do something like get my nails done or get laser hair removal of my facial hair or.. something. But I always worry about how I'd be received.

[Lix Lorn]

Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.

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Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.

I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.

[The Succubus]

I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.

As I recall saying in another thread not so long ago, The Succubus is quite different to {real name redacted}. I am slowly working on bringing more of my outgoing online persona into meatspace but it is difficult.

I also don't have wings in real life.

[Lix Lorn]

Sucks. Wings are awesome. :(

[Lady Tialait]

Indecent exposure being indecent exposure regardless of sex.

From the few guys i've seen in skirts.....they can't seem to understand that.

[Heliomance]

This is wonderful, hon! I'm so proud that you had the courage to do this, and the looks to pull it off. :) Please keep us updated on how things progress. It's refreshing to see somebody identify an issue getting them down, and executing a plan to successfully handle it.

Went shopping today with a friend, I now have more feminine clothes (including a rather nicely flattering pair of bootleg jeans!) tweezers for doing something about my eyebrows, and foundation. I felt bad enough about my body today that I had to do something about it.