Appearance and Grooming Advice: Be Your Hottest You!

[ve4grm]

Welcome to the Appearance and Grooming Advice thread! This thread is for people to ask for help with, or critiques of, their current look. Think of it as a mini-makeover, in thread form!

The main idea is to allow everyone to present their best self. Whether that's to get a job, get more dates, or just feel better about how they look, it doesn't matter.

All are welcome to seek advice. Whatever your sex or gender identity, you are welcome here.

Some basic rules of the thread

DO Be Positive - Everyone is who they are, and they are beautiful in their own way. No shaming for body type, gender expression, or anything else.

DO Critique Honestly - On the flip side, people who post here are looking for honest feedback, so critique is expected. Don't be mean about it, and don't verge into shaming, but do critique honestly.

DON'T Take The Critique Personally - Some of it might seem harsh, especially if it criticizes something you've been doing for years. We are all just trying to help, and mean no harm. That said, if you don't feel as though you could handle a thorough critique right now, you may wish to avoid this thread for the moment.

DON'T Feel Obligated To Do Anything - If you post, and get suggestions that you don't agree with, or that would be labour-intensive to maintain, feel free to ignore them. Not every suggestion will work for everyone, and many will be mutually exclusive. Take what you like, and don't feel obligated to do more.

DO Post a Recent Photo - If you want advice, you'll probably need to post a recent photo. There is only so much that can be communicated via text alone. There are many free photo hosting websites to use, if you don't want it tied to a social media account.

DO Use Spoiler Tags - Place photos in spoiler tags, to keep page length manageable. It's just polite.

DO Post Your Goal - What is this makeover for? Just for you? To attract dates? Which gender do you wish to attract? Additionally, are you trying to present as a certain gender?

DO Keep it PG! - Photos can be headshots, or fully body, but must be kept appropriate as per the rules of these boards.

Spoiler: Previous Threads

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None Yet!

This thread spawned out of the Relationship Woes and Advice thread. Go ahead and join us there, if you want to!

[Anonymouswizard]

Well this is a bit out of date, but style-wise only a couple of months.

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Goal? Primarily to get job interviews, which I've already cut my hair for*, but really just looking for advice on how to look better everyday. So I suppose really this is just for me, I want to know if there's anything people think works really well and anything that can be improved.

I hope to post an updated picture in a couple of weeks, but I'm sans-glasses right now and it wouldn't be right to ask for advice while giving a glassesless picture.

*yes, I know I have lovely curls, but I'm a cisgendered male and so it looks more professional to have short hair.

[ve4grm]

Well this is a bit out of date, but style-wise only a couple of months.

Spoiler

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Goal? Primarily to get job interviews, which I've already cut my hair for*, but really just looking for advice on how to look better everyday. So I suppose really this is just for me, I want to know if there's anything people think works really well and anything that can be improved.

I hope to post an updated picture in a couple of weeks, but I'm sans-glasses right now and it wouldn't be right to ask for advice while giving a glassesless picture.

*yes, I know I have lovely curls, but I'm a cisgendered male and so it looks more professional to have short hair.

Cool, let's get going on this, then!

Alright, so a round face, young look. You already look very friendly and nice. You remind me of the "stereotypical-science-friend" character, who's often comic relief but everyone loves them.

Personally, I think the shorter hair might be a win, as it tends to go well with round faces. (Not a crew cut, probably, but middle-length is nice.) Longer hair and a round face can sometimes make the face look wider, in my experience. It's hard to tell just what your hair looks like in that picture, though.

I love the glasses. Very good for your face. I used to have a similar pair, except blue.

My main advice would be to keep the beard scruff maintained. In that picture it's kind of in a nowhere-land, between beard and not-beard. Depending on how your beard grows in, you could do either, but it needs to be maintained. Ask the nice French lady for her preference, too.

The shirt is nice, if a bit busy. If you wore it with a very simple, solid-colour tie, it would balance well. Even on its own, it's nice enough.

I'll say that an analog watch looks more professional and "grown-up" than digital, but that's nothing huge. If you have one, throw it on for interviews. If not, don't worry.

Anybody else?

[lio45]

Spoiler: Previous Threads

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None Yet!

This thread seems to have had two scoops of Self Esteem in its Raisin Bran this morning! :P

[dehro]

How to dress for an interview really depends on the job you're applying for. A suit is usually always a good choice, but there are plenty of jobs that don't require you to be smart. In that case, still I'd go with a shirt, button down preferably, and a cardigan or jacket. Shoes should not be trainers.
Be careful about interviews where the job doesn't require you to be dressed smart but the environment has still to be professional.
Say lab work, or anything in office context.. you may be a computer tech and rock a t-shirt of your favourite metal band once you land the job, but be sure to wear a suit in the interview.

As for your general look.. In your case I would remove the facial hair completely. In this particular picture it looks like you're trying to grow a beard but aren't old enough yet. I know that age may not have anything to do with whether you can grow a full beard, but that's what it looks like right now... in fact, it possibly makes you look younger than you are, and not in a positive way.
I don't have any advice for clothing, on account of me not having much of a fashion sense... I think you can probably rock most colours of choice. The glasses in your pic suit you.
Stop biting your nails.
The assumption is that people do that because they're nervous. You don't want to look nervous during an interview, even when you are.

[ve4grm]

Alright, so a round face, young look. You already look very friendly and nice. You remind me of the "stereotypical-science-friend" character, who's often comic relief but everyone loves them.

And I just figured out who you (kind of) remind me of!

Ace lawyer, secret-identity-knower, and true hero of Netflix's Daredevil series, Foggy Nelson!

Spoiler: Pic

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Y'know, besides the glasses. And only approximately. I think it's the hair, mostly.

Note: this is a good thing. I love Foggy.

[Tvtyrant]

Be gentle!

Spoiler: Pictures of me

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Preference on hair, glasses, shirt colors for dating profile. Looking to be more attractive to women, potentially, but also hoping for some general advice about my hair as I tend to hate it no matter how it is cut.

[dehro]

Picture Nr. one is how you should try not to look... because the first thing that came up in my mind was (and let me apologise in advance)

Spoiler: this

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seriously, put on a white shirt and green pants, try making a dumb expression and that's halloween sorted.

So you may want to consider either playing it up for laughs in one picture but never wear it again, or just change your hairstyle altogether so that you don't look quite like in that pic. Either way, unless you're fine with the association to the character, remove it from dating profiles.
Grow out your hair and experiment with it, is what I'd say. Ask a pro.
Hard to say what clothes you should wear from pics where your general body type doesn't really come through.
The glasses.. they seem to go in the right direction, but I would consider a somewhat more distinctive frame. It has to fit with your personality though, so I'm not sure on that score either.
How do you consider the facial hair option? is that doable? by which I mean have you tried it, does it grow out nicely? does it cause skin issues? (consider that those can be avoided by proper grooming of the beard with oils and such)
I'd say try out a few different hairstyles, maybe not a buzz cut, and experiment with beard/sideburns or such.
Consider accessorising, as in, finding a distinctive item or two to integrate in your daily apparel.. a hat? a scarf? a sleeveless jacket? something else? and maybe try experimenting with a few different looks, as long as they reflect your personality and make you stand out rather than make you blend in in the background.
As for pictures in a dating profile, add one or two in which you are doing something fun/that you like doing, and a picture where you're laughing, not just smiling for the picture. Find pictures where you're not posing at all, is probably a better call. (this has nothing to do with how you pose or smile.. more to do with natural pictures being in general more interesting and showing more confidence)

[WarKitty]

So I'm not really in a spot to post pictures, but I have a longish buzz cut. And I don't exactly have time to grow it out. So my question is, how to pull things off in interviews so I don't look too out of the ordinary. I'm especially concerned, for lack of a better word, that I don't want to look too masculine (which is silly, but hey), but I still want to look professional, and I feel like those get confusing sometimes.

[dehro]

So I'm not really in a spot to post pictures, but I have a longish buzz cut. And I don't exactly have time to grow it out. So my question is, how to pull things off in interviews so I don't look too out of the ordinary. I'm especially concerned, for lack of a better word, that I don't want to look too masculine (which is silly, but hey), but I still want to look professional, and I feel like those get confusing sometimes.

Accessorise.
If the hair is in that inbetween stage and it's a potential issue, make people look elsewhere by focusing on your eyes or lips (makeup), body (properly framing clothes that bring out your best assets without being too in your face) or general look if you have any other distinguishing feature that would not be offensive to the interviewer (depending on the job you apply for that may vary). Overal neatness and sharpness trump one minor point of contention if that's not too prominent.

[WarKitty]

Accessorise.
If the hair is in that inbetween stage and it's a potential issue, make people look elsewhere by focusing on your eyes or lips (makeup), body (properly framing clothes that bring out your best assets without being too in your face) or general look if you have any other distinguishing feature that would not be offensive to the interviewer (depending on the job you apply for that may vary). Overal neatness and sharpness trump one minor point of contention if that's not too prominent.

I wouldn't even call it an inbetween stage. It's just plain old short. I like it short. It looks nice on me. It just also looks rather non-heteronormative (that sounded better than "kinda gay", which was my first thought).

[Anonymouswizard]

Thank's for the advice people, as I said I'll post a picture with a slightly more 'current' look once I've got my new glasses, but I get the advice.

With regards to the beard, I tend to waver from clean shaven to 'just about alright' depending on how long I've been letting it grow. I just have major problems with remembering to shave.

With regards to biting my nails, I'll try to stop but it's become a habit now.

[dehro]

With regards to the beard, I tend to waver from clean shaven to 'just about alright' depending on how long I've been letting it grow. I just have major problems with remembering to shave.

I started out that way too. then don't shave. Let it grow to a point where you can actually do something with it. Once you've styled it in a specific fashion, keeping it in order is somewhat easier and also, if you don't keep it in order it shows way more than if you're just walking around with a 5 day shave... so you'll be motivated towards grooming.

[Anonymouswizard]

I started out that way too. then don't shave. Let it grow to a point where you can actually do something with it. Once you've styled it in a specific fashion, keeping it in order is somewhat easier and also, if you don't keep it in order it shows way more than if you're just walking around with a 5 day shave... so you'll be motivated towards grooming.

Unfortunately it doesn't grow fast enough, although at it's longest it does look alright. Just not interview presentable, so I'll shave before an interview and just let it grow the rest of the time (my French girl doesn't seem to mind, although I'll ask her directly).

[lio45]

I agree you should lose the facial hair anytime you need to look professional or clean, but you may do like I do when my gf is away and shave only once every 0.5 to 2 week(s) unless I need to meet someone important in the context of my job (I'm self-employed).

(Only good reason to shave more regularly when my gf and I are together is that the "beard" is like sandpaper if it's too short... if it happens to be long enough then I may not even need to shave it. I never have anything I'd consider a "beard" though, I always end up shaving before that. My stages of beards are "freshly-shaven" and various stages of unshavenness-'cause-I-don't-need-to-shave.)

[ve4grm]

Be gentle!

Spoiler: Pictures of me

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Preference on hair, glasses, shirt colors for dating profile. Looking to be more attractive to women, potentially, but also hoping for some general advice about my hair as I tend to hate it no matter how it is cut.

Alright, so besides the Peter Griffin comment (ouch), there are a few things.

Glasses - fine shape, but they look a bit too small for your face? As someone else with a wide face, I feel your pain. Are the arms sized so that they flare out? If so, they're probably too small.

Shirt - for dating profile pics, wear darker colours. You're a pale guy with light hair, a dark shirt will add a bit of contrast. This isn't an all-the-time thing, as there are plenty of light colours that will look fine, but maybe tend that way with your profile photos.

Hair - I'm not actually sure about this one. You have a very fine hair, it seems, that wants to just kind of flop down? My first thought is to shorten up the sides - not so much an undercut, but short on the sides, longer on top, might help the hair to look less round? I'd also advise, like dehro, going to see a hairdresser you trust and getting the opinion of someone who knows their stuff.

Regarding beard - if you can grown a good beard, you might want to give it a try? You unfortunately have a very un-prominent chin, and a beard can do wonders to disguise/enhance that.

Pics in general - a few pieces of advice for a dating profile:

- Have someone else take your pictures! The selfie, due to the fact that you're reaching towards the camera, is not flattering for us chubby guys.

- Get some candid shots. While out with friends, having fun, ask a friend to snap some pics of you occasionally. A good laughing picture can be great. This isn't a guarantee, though, as sometimes the candid shots just show your face contorting weirdly. But it's worth a shot.

- Don't look directly at the camera lens. It's actually kind of unnatural, as most of the time when talking to someone you won't look directly at their eyes. A little bit off in one direction can enhance a photo a lot.

There some more good advice here: https://www.menaskem.com/8-profile-p...et-more-women/

So I'm not really in a spot to post pictures, but I have a longish buzz cut. And I don't exactly have time to grow it out. So my question is, how to pull things off in interviews so I don't look too out of the ordinary. I'm especially concerned, for lack of a better word, that I don't want to look too masculine (which is silly, but hey), but I still want to look professional, and I feel like those get confusing sometimes.

These days, hair is less important for looking professional than clothes are. With hipster fashion and undercuts and such, various haircuts are more accepted, as long as it's groomed, and the rest of you is professional.

Unfortunately, I don't particularly know your gender or desired gender expression. That would help. Also body type/face shape?

Unfortunately it doesn't grow fast enough, although at it's longest it does look alright. Just not interview presentable, so I'll shave before an interview and just let it grow the rest of the time (my French girl doesn't seem to mind, although I'll ask her directly).

This is fine. I do similar. As long as you shave when you need to look "good", it should be fine.

[ve4grm]

I've never been able to get an idea of my own physical attractiveness (I seem to vacillate at times between 'hey, lookin' good' and 'oh god, what is with my nose/teeth/eyebrows/etc'), so I guess I'd like an impartial view here.

This is a quick selfie I took yesterday for the purposes of this thread; it's pretty much what I look like these days, though I'm planning to get a trim to keep those unruly shocks of hair under control (and I do need to trim the moustache overgrowth a bit). And here is a slightly older one with slightly shorter hair and not nearly as much facial hair which has the advantage of a. not being a selfie and b. showing off my less than dashing smile. And just for reference, another from back when I had longer hair and no facial hair, other than an unflattering dusting of stubble. I feel like long and short hair suit me equally well/poorly (depending on how generous you want to be about it), but facial hair, I don't know about.

I'd call you a fairly good looking man. You do seem somewhat... standoffish? Except for the smiling picture, which unfortunately is a lower-quality photo.

I think the shorter hair suits you well. Somewhere around where it is now would be good, and the second photo seems like it might be a bit too short? The long isn't bad, but you seem to have the sort of hair that will forever look unkempt, and long hair amplifies that. Unless you're a metal singer, in which case the long hair pic is great!

That said, it is in dire need of maintenance. The stache especially, yeah. And if you haven't asked for anything for Christmas yet, you might consider a hairbrush? (Kidding, kidding. Styling the hair more actively might help, though.)

I think the beard (if trimmed better) helps balance out the bushiness of the eyebrows and unruliness of the hair. So I vote to keep it, but maintain more often. The stubble in pic 3 is really unflattering.

Regarding teeth, we can't actually see them in any of those, so no comment. Most people have less than ideal teeth, though, so no worries unless they're awful.

And the last one you specifically mention, your nose, is fine. Not your best feature, admittedly, but nothing terrible. You can de-emphasize body parts just as you can emphasize them, so don't worry about that.

[Comrade]

I'd call you a fairly good looking man. You do seem somewhat... standoffish? Except for the smiling picture, which unfortunately is a lower-quality photo.

Yeah... I'm actually a pretty smiley person in everyday life (and in photos taken of me by others) but for some reason when I decide to snap a photo of myself I become Ivan Drago. I don't think my expression looks like that generally.

Unless you're a metal singer, in which case the long hair pic is great!

I actually am, but the shorter hair is a whole lot less of a bother to maintain, haha.

I think the beard (if trimmed better) helps balance out the bushiness of the eyebrows and unruliness of the hair.

So I should keep it a little shorter/closer-trimmed?

Regarding teeth, we can't actually see them in any of those, so no comment. Most people have less than ideal teeth, though, so no worries unless they're awful.

They're not in a poor hygienic state or anything, but they are a little overlarge, or at least they always seemed that way to me, so I tend to avoid smiling with teeth showing.

[WarKitty]

These days, hair is less important for looking professional than clothes are. With hipster fashion and undercuts and such, various haircuts are more accepted, as long as it's groomed, and the rest of you is professional.

Unfortunately, I don't particularly know your gender or desired gender expression. That would help. Also body type/face shape?

Fair enough. The main thing here is I have a haircut that is definitely masculine, and what could be described as a petite hourglass figure. So I'm definitely obviously female-bodied, and do typically dress and identify as female. Keep in mind it's winter here, so dresses are likely not to be worn because it's cold and for some reason good tights are not professional.

[Iruka]

Fair enough. The main thing here is I have a haircut that is definitely masculine, and what could be described as a petite hourglass figure. So I'm definitely obviously female-bodied, and do typically dress and identify as female. Keep in mind it's winter here, so dresses are likely not to be worn because it's cold and for some reason good tights are not professional.

Isnt't the buzzcut the trendy haircut for women this year? It is definitely more in the mainstream than just a few years ago.
If you want to make it look more female, you could (depending on the lenght) try to structure ita bit and add accessoires like a bow.

Spoiler: example

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[WarKitty]

Isnt't the buzzcut the trendy haircut for women this year? It is definitely more in the mainstream than just a few years ago.
If you want to make it look more female, you could (depending on the lenght) try to structure ita bit and add accessoires like a bow.

Spoiler: example

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The thing is we're talking interview appropriate as well. Bows are pretty, but hair accessories beyond the very plain are generally not considered professional attire.

[dehro]

The thing is we're talking interview appropriate as well. Bows are pretty, but hair accessories beyond the very plain are generally not considered professional attire.

a plain bow?
it does depend on the position you're looking for.. and giving non generic advice is hard without a picture
can you find one online that matches your current hairdo?

[WarKitty]

a plain bow?
it does depend on the position you're looking for.. and giving non generic advice is hard without a picture
can you find one online that matches your current hairdo?

Look up Natalie Portman with a buzz cut, you'll get the idea.

Disclaimer: I do not otherwise look like Natalie Portman.

[ve4grm]

I actually am, but the shorter hair is a whole lot less of a bother to maintain, haha.

Well okay then!

So I should keep it a little shorter/closer-trimmed?

It doesn't so much need to be shorter, but just keep up the maintenance. As you said, you're needing to trim the moustache at least soon. Just keep the lines clean, so it doesn't become an old prospector beard, and you're good.

They're not in a poor hygienic state or anything, but they are a little overlarge, or at least they always seemed that way to me, so I tend to avoid smiling with teeth showing.

No worries. Many folks do, myself included. Apparently that can actually be preferred in men's dating profiles, as teeth seem more aggressive? I don't know. Dating profiles are weird.

Fair enough. The main thing here is I have a haircut that is definitely masculine, and what could be described as a petite hourglass figure. So I'm definitely obviously female-bodied, and do typically dress and identify as female. Keep in mind it's winter here, so dresses are likely not to be worn because it's cold and for some reason good tights are not professional.

That's a bit strange, as a dress with leggings underneath is considered fairly professional up here. Though it is Canada, where exposed legs are a very bad idea in November.

Look up Natalie Portman with a buzz cut, you'll get the idea.

Disclaimer: I do not otherwise look like Natalie Portman.

Few of us do.

Ok, gotcha. It would be hard to tie a bow into that hair anyways.

I think it's common enough for women to have short hair these days that it might cause an initial double-take while it registers, but otherwise should be fine.

I have two very different suggestions, both of which could look amazing.

Suggestion 1 - embrace the androgyny!
This one might require a purchase, but women wearing brilliant fitted suits has become a major thing in recent years.

Spoiler: Suits!

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Failing that (suits aren't always cheap), a simple nice blouse and dress pants is pretty classic now.

Suggestion 2 - defy expectations!
Hair is fine how it is, so embrace the femininity with a dress and forget anyone who says it doesn't match.

Spoiler: Dress

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All this is really to say that your choice of haircut doesn't need to have any bearing on what you wear. You can be beautiful whatever direction you choose.

(Personally, I really love the suit trend. As any woman will tell you, suits are hot.)

[Sholos]

I got new glasses!
Nothing else is different, still have to shave.

[Glass Mouse]

So I'm not really in a spot to post pictures, but I have a longish buzz cut. And I don't exactly have time to grow it out. So my question is, how to pull things off in interviews so I don't look too out of the ordinary. I'm especially concerned, for lack of a better word, that I don't want to look too masculine (which is silly, but hey), but I still want to look professional, and I feel like those get confusing sometimes.

How are your feelings towards makeup? Because going a little heavier on the makeup was my first thought for looking more fancy in the head/face region.

also, looking at pictures of Natalie Portman makes me want to shear off all my hair again and ugh no I just got it past the most annoying stage THE LONG HAIR STAYS