Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Morphic tide]

*Not allowed to play a Warpriest with Favored Weapon(Dart)
**Not allowed to play a Warpriest with Favored Weapon(Javalin)
***Favored Weapon(Blowgun) is right out.
****I may not make a dip into Warblade as a Warpriest in 3.PF just for Weapon Aptitude
*****If playing 3.PF, I may not make a Vital Strike build using Warpriest and Artificer any means of reliable extra standard actions

Warpriest overwrites the damage of weapons they use. Blowguns normally deal 1 damage. A level 20 Medium-sized Warpriest replaces this with 2d8 damage. A Large level 20 Warpriest gets 3d8 instead. It's not so much that it's OP, as much as it is the fact that you are replacing minuscule damage with some fairly large numbers. It gets silly, dealing 2d8 damage with Blowguns.

Vital Strike, meanwhile, is a feat chain that eats up 3 feats. As a standard action, it lets you use a multiple of your regular weapon damage, based on the number of feats in the chain you get. Which Warpriest overwrites. If you get 15 levels in Warpriest, this means that your weapon damage is 2d6, with 5 levels for other stuff. So, at the end, you get a Standard Action that deals four times your weapon damage, plus whatever you add to a single attack. Which means 8d6 damage as a standard action, all day long.

And you do it with any weapon you have Weapon Focus in, which Warblade lets you swap each day. So 8d6 Blowguns one day, 8d6 Scythes the next. Oh, and becoming Large boosts this to 12d6. Optimal? No, but packing over 20d6 damage on a crit standard action is rather silly.

Oh, Warpriests also have Bard spell slot progression with the Cleric list. Which makes 3.PF even more silly for them, because they get all those Cleric spells from 3.5. They also get some pretty strong healing, with 7d6 self healing as a Swift Action at level 20. Level 15, meanwhile, is 5d6. Uses per day is 1/2 level + Wis mod, with the ability to use 2 uses at level 4 to apply it to a 30 ft. radius, as well as the ability to expend one use of it to Quicken a spell.

Vital Strike is actually one of the better routes for Warpriest 20, as they only get 3/4 BAB but get to count as full BAB for feats, which is how they qualify for the last stage of Vital Strike, with a bonus Combat/Fighter feat every 3 levels. They also count Warpriest levels as Fighter levels for feat prerequisites.

Now, I'm not saying that Warpriest, or Vital Strike itself, is absolutely amazing, but I think it looks really good and is an excellent class for Vital Strike due to a BAB deficiency and prerequisite bypasses that make Full Attack less of a competition. It also has a damage boost feature that clearly stacks with Vital Strike and makes some weapons hilariously useful. Like Blowguns suddenly dealing 2d8 damage because a Warpriest 20 decided to pick Weapon Focus(Blowgun)

[danielxcutter]

That reminds me...

*No, I may not play a Warforged Warlock/Warblade/War Mind, no matter how unoptimal it is.

Spoiler: Context

Show

That build is really unoptimal. Playable, but not that much.

That's obviously not the point though, and it's probably possible rules-wise.

[Morphic tide]

**Nor may I play a Draconic Dragonwrought Half-Dragon Dragonborn Kobold
***Especially if they are also a Dragon Shaman/Dragon Disciple/Dragon Descendant/Dragon Ascendant/Dragon Devotee/Dragon Rider/Dracolexi/Dragonheart Mage/Dragonkith/Dragonrider/Dragonslayer/Dragonstalker/Dragonsong Lyrist/Hidecarved Dragon/Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries/Dragon Prophet/Dragon Samurai/Purple Dragon Knight
****Not in the least due to the fact that the "race" disqualifies you from several of these, and the templates aren't all stackable
*****No, it doesn't matter how far into Epic we are, you don't get to. Even if you meet all the prerequisites.

...This is just the classes with Dragon in the name D&D Tools has listed. Really stretched that second D, didn't ya, WotC?

Edit: Yes, there really are two different Dragonrider classes.

[danielxcutter]

**Nor may I play a Draconic Dragonwrought Half-Dragon Dragonborn Kobold
***Especially if they are also a Dragon Shaman/Dragon Disciple/Dragon Descendant/Dragon Ascendant/Dragon Devotee/Dragon Rider/Dracolexi/Dragonheart Mage/Dragonkith/Dragonrider/Dragonslayer/Dragonstalker/Dragonsong Lyrist/Hidecarved Dragon/Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries/Dragon Prophet/Dragon Samurai/Purple Dragon Knight
****Not in the least due to the fact that the "race" disqualifies you from several of these, and the templates aren't all stackable
*****No, it doesn't matter how far into Epic we are, you don't get to. Even if you meet all the prerequisites.

...This is just the classes with Dragon in the name D&D Tools has listed. Really stretched that second D, didn't ya, WotC?

Edit: Yes, there really are two different Dragonrider classes.

*reads*

What.

[Morphic tide]

*reads*

What.

Too much Nevar Enuff Dragon. I just tabbed over to D&D tools and searched for Dragon, then typed out every class with Dragon in the name. Between Draconomicon, Dragonlance, Dragon Magic, Dragons of Faerun, Races of the Dragon and Dragon Compendium, there's a lot of Dragon stuff to go around. Of those, two aren't actually dragon-focused, but that's still four dragon-devoted sourcebooks I could find at a casual glance.

[Lord Raziere]

..Y'all realize that a Wobuffet can be the scariest thing in the world with the Shadow Tag ability, right? That thing's taking down at least one, maybe two enemies before folding.

.....I wasnt being specific enough:

** Redux: Especially if its through using Wobbuffett Cosplay to actually win a fight, in Dragon Ball Z

[danielxcutter]

On the topic of Pokemon:

*I may not keep looking for beginners just so I can beat them with my over-leveled Magikarp.

[Lord Raziere]

*I may not keep looking for beginners just so I can beat them with my over-leveled Magikarp.

** May not form a team of six pokemon just for them to all use Explosion in a battle.
*** May not take a Togekiss, name them "Roulette" then teach them the following moves: Swagger, Double Team, Yawn and Metronome.
**** May not keep looking for beginners so I can take something out with my Smeargle who knows Lock On and Guillotine

[danielxcutter]

** May not form a team of six pokemon just for them to all use Explosion in a battle.
*** May not take a Togekiss, name them "Roulette" then teach them the following moves: Swagger, Double Team, Yawn and Metronome.
**** May not keep looking for beginners so I can take something out with my Smeargle who knows Lock On and Guillotine

Context, please?

[Rater202]

I can not near-literally spell out a major plot twist in the first session and then laugh my ass off when no one's looking when nobody catches it.

[Lord Raziere]

Context, please?

Those are just things I wanted to make to have fun so I made them in the actual games. I tried the All-Explosion team but people kept outspeeding me and one-shotting my pokemon most of the time. I've made Roulette because I wanted to make the trolliest possible moveset I could, and I made a Smeargle that knows both Lock-On and Guillotine. Guillotine one-hit kos any pokemon, but has a 30% accuracy and Lock On makes my next move 100% accurate, therefore Lock On + Guillotine = Instant Death. Problem is I'm informed that Smeargle is a bad pokemon statwise so I've never actually tried to use that in a battle, despite it theoretically being a good combination.

[danielxcutter]

Those are just things I wanted to make to have fun so I made them in the actual games. I tried the All-Explosion team but people kept outspeeding me and one-shotting my pokemon most of the time. I've made Roulette because I wanted to make the trolliest possible moveset I could, and I made a Smeargle that knows both Lock-On and Guillotine. Guillotine one-hit kos any pokemon, but has a 30% accuracy and Lock On makes my next move 100% accurate, therefore Lock On + Guillotine = Instant Death. Problem is I'm informed that Smeargle is a bad pokemon statwise so I've never actually tried to use that in a battle, despite it theoretically being a good combination.

LOL. That's hilarious.

[Morphic tide]

Problem is I'm informed that Smeargle is a bad pokemon statwise so I've never actually tried to use that in a battle, despite it theoretically being a good combination.

Grab an Amoonguss with Rage Powder and have it set up to be as tanky as possible, with Giga Drain as one of the other moves. Rage Powder will force enemies to target it with everything they use that can target it, and Giga Drain is generally good for tanky pokemon without other recovery options. Although Chesto Berry+Rest can be done for a full recover, it's somewhat wasteful in that you might not be needing it if the opponent doesn't attack that turn, while Giga Drain is fairly safely spamable due to dealing damage. Synthesis and Ingrain are also on the move pool, so it can work out that way as well.

Protect, Substitute, Sleep Talk and Rest are on the TM list for Amoonguss, so you can do some stuff with that. Swagger, Double Team and Attract are on the TM list for Amoonguss, so you can pull some nasty stuff with being purely a target, though physical sweepers make Swagger a bit less of a good pick.

I personally think that Giga Drain, Ingrain, Substitute and Rage Powder would be a good move set, if you are purely focused on making a target to buy Smeargle time to pull the 2 turn kills. A good thing to do with the remaining two Smeargle move slots is Belly Drum and Baton Pass, so that you can pass over full Attack to another pokemon on your team for the second turn, allowing you to swap to a wall with a physical life drain move to be an improvised Sweeper, with Smeargle in the back ready to pull the Lock On OHKO combo if they go down.

Leech Life is the best physical HP stealing move in gen 7, which is found on another Rage Powder pokemon besides Amoonguss. Namely, Parasect, which is a much worse wall due to weaknesses and is really bad due to low speed. As well as actually having rather bad defences. 4x weakness to Fire is... bad. Buzzwole is a workable physical tank, but melts under Special Attacks. Although it'll obliterate anything it hits, given an 80 base power move and maximum attack bonuses.

Now I want to put together a full team comp and go to a Pokemon-centric forum to critique the doubles strategy applicable to the setup I'm describing here... It's utter scum, but it seems like it'd be a massive pain to put down.

[danielxcutter]

New rule:

*I will not purposely optimize with the explicit intention of one-shotting opponents, becoming invincible, or generally doing anything that will make my DM cry. This is not system-specific.

[Morphic tide]

New rule:

*I will not purposely optimize with the explicit intention of one-shotting opponents, becoming invincible, or generally doing anything that will make my DM cry. This is not system-specific.

Oh, please, that Amoonguss tank is nothing compared to Mega Slowbro stall. The real nastiness is being a proper wall in Doubles and Triples. Grab a Blissy or Audino as a healer for Triples and you get a lot of stalling done, though. Do note that Mega Slowbro is banned from Anything Goes because a perfectly set up Mega Slowbro is fundamentally impossible for the vast majority of teams to beat. They just get PP stalled.

[danielxcutter]

Oh, please, that Amoonguss tank is nothing compared to Mega Slowbro stall. The real nastiness is being a proper wall in Doubles and Triples. Grab a Blissy or Audino as a healer for Triples and you get a lot of stalling done, though. Do note that Mega Slowbro is banned from Anything Goes because a perfectly set up Mega Slowbro is fundamentally impossible for the vast majority of teams to beat. They just get PP stalled.

Okay, then:

New rule:

*I will not purposely optimize with the explicit intention of one-shotting opponents, becoming invincible, or generally doing anything that will make my DM cry. This is not system-specific.

**Just because you can make a build even more optimized doesn't mean that I'm allowing your Half-Orc Spirit Lion Totem Streetfighter Barbarian with Leap Attack and Shock Trooper.

Spoiler: Context

Show

Said build is quite optimized. Normally in D&D, you can only attack once while charging, but the Spirit Lion Totem alternate class feature removes this limit. Leap Attack greatly increases the damage from Power Attack, and Shock Trooper allows you to assign the attack roll penalty from Power Attacking to your Armor Class instead. Orcs and Half-Orcs can get the Reckless Charge feat, which increases charging damage even more, and the Streetfighter alternate class feature gives even more good things for a charger.

However, there are far more optimized builds in D&D, such as War Hulk + Hulking Hurler, which can get 1000d6 damage easily(for reference, the minimum damage is high enough to smear a CR 20 Tarrasque across the floor).

Casters are even worse - decent "gish" builds that can cast 9th-level spells and have 4+ attacks per round at level 20 can kill a Hecatoncheires solo - which according to the CR system is 2³⁷ times stronger than the gish. Granted, Hecatoncherires are very over-CRed, but still...

[Katrina]

New rule:

*I will not purposely optimize with the explicit intention of one-shotting opponents, becoming invincible, or generally doing anything that will make my DM cry. This is not system-specific.

Addendum: I am not to be held responsible if the optimizing was not intended to make the GM cry, but did anyway.

* If I have a sudden insight into the plot of the game, sitting back with an evil/mischievous smile on my face is NOT an improvement over suddenly gushing said insight to the party. Especially if said insight turns out to be the big plot twist.
* "Read GM" is not a skill, I cannot have points in it. No matter how much it justifies my character's actions. "Mind Read GM" as a power is right out.

[danielxcutter]

Addendum: I am not to be held responsible if the optimizing was not intended to make the GM cry, but did anyway.

**I must remember that even if it was unintentional, I must take cares when building my character so this doesn't keep happening. Yes, even if you're making a naked Kobold Commoner. Especially Kobold Commoners.

Spoiler: Context

Show

Kobolds can take the Dragonwrought feat, which is broken in so many ways I don't even know all of them. As for Commoners, there's a flaw called Chicken-Infested that only they can take. Optimizers have taken advantage of this flaw to generate infinite chickens, though. In one round(which equals six seconds).

* If I have a sudden insight into the plot of the game, sitting back with an evil/mischievous smile on my face is NOT an improvement over suddenly gushing said insight to the party. Especially if said insight turns out to be the big plot twist.

**Nor is saying nothing at the time, but making plans based on said insight to spring later.

* "Read GM" is not a skill, I cannot have points in it. No matter how much it justifies my character's actions. "Mind Read GM" as a power is right out.

**I may not have them OOC either.

[Katrina]

**I may not have them OOC either.

* But that conflicts with my rule about being accused of things I didn't do three times! (Which is that I must do them, since I'm being blamed for them anyway. It would be rude to make someone so determined into a liar.)

[Anonymouswizard]

* If my intelligence is nine or less I should not be playing a wizard.
** I must be able to use my class features.

* There is no prize for dying as soon as the campaign starts.
** Venerable Elves are no longer allowed.

* If my justification behind with 'if it sounds crazy' I do not get to complete it.
** This goes for both in game and out of game.

[Morphic tide]

* If my intelligence is nine or less I should not be playing a wizard.
** I must be able to use my class features.

***A Druid with 9 or less Wis is an exception. You don't get to play it, even though you do have class features you can use. Primarily because the last time you did, you still outclassed everyone other than the Cleric.

[Guizonde]

There's a limit to what constitutes 'legit application' before it crosses the line into absurd.

we really don't have the same limit. due to being in frequent contact with cybernetics and augmented humans, my doc's medikit actually had a monkey wrench and a soldering iron in there! the yoyo, the spare cigar box, and the handcuffs, however had no place in there, but i was out of room in my backpack.

* The alcohol is not for drinking.
** My medic PC is not allowed to use rude gestures as the somatic components of healing spells.

actually, it could be drunk and was its secondary use: helped force a young kid back to sanity. it's kept in between a rubber mallet and morphine in the medikit. regarding the rude gestures, i got that banned too when i played a cleric.

*"flipping the bird" is not the somatic component for "banish undead".
*guizonde has to have dm and team approval before carrying any psychoactive substances in any usable amounts.
** no more giving kids any psychoactive substances.
*** especially if it's "something medicinal"!
**** even if it's for their own good.

(if i wasn't such a good medic, i'd probably have been banned that role by now...)

[danielxcutter]

*You do not have to use Speak With Dead when talking to the Lich.
**Or the Vampire.

.*"flipping the bird" is not the somatic component for "banish undead".

**Or Dismissal. Or Banishment.
***Dropping the F-Bomb does not count as the somatic component for Word of Chaos.

*guizonde has to have dm and team approval before carrying any psychoactive substances in any usable amounts.
** no more giving kids any psychoactive substances.
*** especially if it's "something medicinal"!
**** even if it's for their own good.

*****Actually, just don't.

[Guizonde]

*****Actually, just don't.

well, you try to be the medic in a team with a 13 year old bullet-magnet! i swear, that girl got torn to pieces. partly because her player knew how to play a rebellious teenager, partly because he had tremendously bad rolls. we ended up teaching his character how to use a sniper rifle. didn't protect his character too much from explosives or mental trauma, though.

... and at least i only gave that character moonshine and morphine. the face of the group let her try lsd, cocaine (imagine a rabid squirrel with a gun), extasy (said rabid squirrel with hugs), and marijuana (slightly less rabid squirrel with a gun).

we do now have a group rule never to play teenagers or children anymore. not because it's icky, but because it's a hassle to have an underage character go wherever the rest of the team go (brothels, dive bars, gun shops, jailbreaks...) plus it calls undue attention to a group.

rereading the above, seems like our universe tends to breed pragmatic sociopathy.

[DigoDragon]

we really don't have the same limit. due to being in frequent contact with cybernetics and augmented humans, my doc's medikit actually had a monkey wrench and a soldering iron in there! the yoyo, the spare cigar box, and the handcuffs, however had no place in there, but i was out of room in my backpack.

I could totally make medical use of the three extra items. But yeah, there isn't usually much in the way of cybernetics in the games I play. My doctor with the duct tape is cybernetics-enhanced, but still needs about another seven level ups to be able to work with them. Which really means there needs to be more GMs willing to run Shadowrun campaigns for me to join, so as I can play with cyberware more often.

[goto124]

*I may not keep looking for beginners just so I can beat them with my over-leveled Magikarp.

** You do not win battles by swinging the Magikarp at the opponent pokemon.

a rubber mallet

* The medic's rubber mallet may deal nonlethal damage.
** The medic's rubber mallet may not be the equivalent of a cleric's mace.

we do now have a group rule never to play teenagers or children anymore.

* May not suggest to do what game developers do and just make them 18 years old.

I could totally make medical use of the three extra items.

* May not ask how one uses a yoyo, a pair of handcuffs, or a cigar medicinally.
** The answer for the cigar is not this.

[Recherché]

*If the GM sets us against a tentacle monster I may not immediately cast Black Tentacles and then begin describing the tentacle to tentacle combat in suggestive terms

[Lord Raziere]

* May not set up an Ultramarine Vs. Grey Knights fight by making it look like the Ultramarines captain is possessed by a Daemon.
** may not say excitedly "MARY SUE FIGHT!!!" while they do this.
*** may not try to continue it no matter what to "see who is the Sue-iest Space Marine of them all."
**** May not then go up to the winner and shout "HERESY!" and execute them for being a Mary Sue heretic.
***** May not declare the Blood Angels "Best Space Marine Chapter!" afterwards.

[danielxcutter]

** You do not win battles by swinging the Magikarp at the opponent pokemon.

OMG, I LOL'ed at that. Priceless!

* The medic's rubber mallet may deal nonlethal damage.
** The medic's rubber mallet may not be the equivalent of a cleric's mace.

***Or a... just don't use it as a weapon, period.

[TeChameleon]

* If there is a plot to blow one of the major cities off the face of the planet using tonnes and tonnes of magical plastique, may not be surprised when the players' solution to the problem is to steal all the explosives.
** Still may not be surprised when the players then proceed to reverse-engineer it and both weaponize and commercialize it.
*** Furthermore, may not be surprised when the later big Outsider-Corrupted Gold Dragon boss fight is resolved by force-feeding the dragon fifty kilos of magic plastic explosive when it inhales to use its breath weapon.
**** The Cleric is no longer allowed to use his explosive quarrels indoors.
***** No, not even then.
****** Because one cavern turning out to be the mouth of an impossibly huge elder dragon, now extremely irritated at being awoken by a burning toothache, was more than enough, thanks.