Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[Zanaril]

Unless you can only talk to the person you're with over the internet... like the only girlfriends I've ever had. =/

...Do they even count as girlfriends?

[Mystic Muse]

...Do they even count as girlfriends?

That's up for debate.

[Aaron]

Thank you!

Now I just have to wait for his reaction.

He said he likes me, but he's not 100% sure if he likes me, at least enough for us to upgrade our relationship. Similar to me, he doesn't act on a big decision until he's fully sure of it.

But oh man, how could saying, "I like you. No, I mean I like you," be so hard to say?!

Congrats Coffee. I wish you good luck in embarrassing him upgrading your relationship.

*sends love/plot kittens to Coffee*

...Do they even count as girlfriends?

Like Kyuubi said, its up for debate.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Congrats Coffee. I wish you good luck in embarrassing him upgrading your relationship.

*sends love/plot kittens to Coffee*

Thank you!

Aww, cute kitty!

Kitty: *Looks at Coffee* Mrow.

*Seconds later*

Coffee: *Walks in with kitten attached to her earlobe* Did you send this kitten to V earlier?

[The Dark Fiddler]

And... we're getting off topic again. My fault, really.

(I don't REALLY count them. If somebody asked all the girlfriend I've had, I'd probably mention them, but they don't count towards first kiss or first date or anything.)

[Aaron]

Aww, cute kitty!

Kitty: *Looks at Coffee* Mrow.

*Seconds later*

Coffee: *Walks in with kitten attached to her earlobe* Did you send this kitten to V earlier?

I don't know. I adopted him at the animal shelter last week.


Here's a pairing for someone to try out:

Mr. Scruffy x Kazumi
Snowed in.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I don't know. I adopted him at the animal shelter last week.


Here's a pairing for someone to try out:

Mr. Scruffy x Kazumi

I dunno, there are a lot of Kitty McEarbitey's at the shelter.

Here's one: Grubwiggler/Hank/Bozzok (How Grubwiggler got 5-star insurance. )

[Aaron]

I dunno, there are a lot of Kitty McEarbitey's at the shelter.

You mean that V has had dozens of kittens play with hir ears?!?!?!

...*Ding!* Idea! V x 100 cats (one of which is Mr. Scruffy)

[CoffeeIncluded]

You mean that V has had dozens of kittens play with hir ears?!?!?!

...*Ding!* Idea! V x 100 cats (one of which is Mr. Scruffy)

In the summer we've sometimes got almost 200 kittens in the shelter in the space of a single week. It's madness. Adorable, adorable madness.

And please write this.

[ShinyDelusion]

Aaaargh! I must admit, that groan-inducing pun warning was completely necessary, Sereg. I still laughed, though. Nice idea.

Congrats, CoffeeIncluded.

That was really great for your first roll, EvilRoeSlade! I must ask: Will there be a second roll?

[Devixer]

Oh Shiny, I forgot to say thanks for your comments on my fic. As usual, I wasn't confident in that fic.

And Female Julio x Julia Greenhilt is going pretty well so
far.

[NemoUtopia]

In terms of 'family friendly' and 'PG-13'...it depends on the mod reading it and who reads the thread. The original 'Alien' movie would have been rated 'R' on violence alone. Ten years ago it wouldn't have gotten that label for violence, it would have been 'R' for dropping the F-bomb more than once and what is now considered a borderline scene where Ripley strips. Current PG-13 romantic comedies have more sex/nudity than many older 'R' rated movies. Hell, many of them sell on that very (unspoken) premise so-as to attract a male audience. The smoking is no longer an issue. So it's generally better to play it conservatively: if would have made an 'R' rating back in the seventies, it probably won't fly in the end.

[Water-Smurf]

You did? Yipes. Sorry about that.

But don't you dare leave! We can help you with the "Family friendly/PG-13 bounds!"

But... it's that, not only do I have very little sense of what's PG-13 or not, but I have difficulty maintaining interest in a story if it doesn't go in dark directions. Writing is something I love, partially because it's an outlet for me to put my thoughts on paper (or Internet...). If I don't have that outlet, I start having nervous breakdowns and dangerous fits where I think I'll hurt myself. It's like having a garbage disposal plugged up somewhere along the line--it looks fine for a bit, then all hell breaks loose. I like writing fluffy, family-friendly things once in a while, but I can't carry whole multi-chapter stories.

...What happened? (Not to be rude.)

Oh, it's just that I was brought up in a very liberal family, and APD made it really hard for me to understand that there were such things as taboos. I couldn't understand it when people told me not to do or say stuff. I only learned about a year ago that there is a time and a place where it's appropriate to say stuff, and that's not EVERY time and place. (My parents would say that I still have not grasped the concept.)

In a nutshell, blame it on weird wiring in my brain that blocked me off.

Oddly enough, I did catch onto what she was planning before she made it clear. Sometime between '"My name's Deirdre, you know," she said, smiling.' and her smashing the glass in his face. *shudder*

Seriously? What tipped you off?

And I don't know about you, but I had too much fun writing the 'glass in face' scene...

That actually surprises me. While the subject matter was certainly not family friendly, there wasn't anything explicit. Or is there a general frowning on posting to anything questionable off-site?

It could just be that we're under particularly close scrutiny at present.

I was a little surprised too, but hey, it's Rich's playground. Roland basically told me that I shouldn't be posting or linking to graphic sexuality and it should stay PG-13.

Can't you just post any new stories on DeviantArt and mention you've posted them?

I asked, and he said that they'd prefer it if I didn't. I'm probably just going to move my 'base of story-writing' over to FF.net. Maybe we can start a forum there or something if Roland doesn't like where we're going here? It could be a good compromise.

Don't stop writing (please!), but equally don't feel you have to rein it in to concede to the rules just so you can post here. I think it's gotten to the point where enough people like your stories that they'd look out for them somewhere off-site.

The cliffhangers you've got us hooked on currently are sufficient alone...

*giggles* You make me blush, really. I'm probably just going to start posting my stuff on FF. The Giant's forums will stay clean of my destructive mindset and I'll still be able to write.

You could always ask a mod if they'd be okay with proof-reading to make sure anything you post is ok.

I can't tell what's family friendly either, so you aren't alone, at least. I don't even have my environment to blame it on.

Also, you could always write and upload it on DA, but not link. It wouldn't really be the same, and everybody interested would need to sign up to DA and watch you (or at least check regularly) but you could still write, then. (Don't get me wrong, if you're thinking that it's best you don't write anymore, don't write. If that's the case, then only use my suggestion for when you have plot-bunnies you can't just kill. I'm suggesting this assuming you still want to write. Don't want to make you do anything you don't want to. (But it'd be a shame to lose your writing...))

*points up at other responses*

...Do they even count as girlfriends?

*sighs wistfully* My first girlfriend was online.

(My first boyfriend was IRL, though, but back on topic...)

In terms of 'family friendly' and 'PG-13'...it depends on the mod reading it and who reads the thread. The original 'Alien' movie would have been rated 'R' on violence alone. Ten years ago it wouldn't have gotten that label for violence, it would have been 'R' for dropping the F-bomb more than once and what is now considered a borderline scene where Ripley strips. Current PG-13 romantic comedies have more sex/nudity than many older 'R' rated movies. Hell, many of them sell on that very (unspoken) premise so-as to attract a male audience. The smoking is no longer an issue. So it's generally better to play it conservatively: if would have made an 'R' rating back in the seventies, it probably won't fly in the end.

I've never really been good at keeping to censors. No wonder! Look at how much they change! But I think that I'd prefer to pull out of the forum than to screw things up for the mods or the Giant. If I were them, I'd be pretty annoyed if someone was going against the rules and scaring the possible kids who stumbled on it. It's their playground, their rules, and if I can't abide, I should take my stuff elsewhere. I'll just post on FF.net. It has it's own alert system so anyone who wants to follow can sign up and be emailed when I update, so no linking or mentioning or what have you will turn up here.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, especially in their own place.

[CoffeeIncluded]

But... it's that, not only do I have very little sense of what's PG-13 or not, but I have difficulty maintaining interest in a story if it doesn't go in dark directions. Writing is something I love, partially because it's an outlet for me to put my thoughts on paper (or Internet...). If I don't have that outlet, I start having nervous breakdowns and dangerous fits where I think I'll hurt myself. It's like having a garbage disposal plugged up somewhere along the line--it looks fine for a bit, then all hell breaks loose. I like writing fluffy, family-friendly things once in a while, but I can't carry whole multi-chapter stories.



Oh, it's just that I was brought up in a very liberal family, and APD made it really hard for me to understand that there were such things as taboos. I couldn't understand it when people told me not to do or say stuff. I only learned about a year ago that there is a time and a place where it's appropriate to say stuff, and that's not EVERY time and place. (My parents would say that I still have not grasped the concept.)

In a nutshell, blame it on weird wiring in my brain that blocked me off.

That sounds like it sucks.

Though if you need help with censorship, we'll all be glad to give you a hand.

*sighs wistfully* My first girlfriend was online.

(My first boyfriend was IRL, though, but back on topic...)

You're bisexual? Huh. Okay.

I've never really been good at keeping to censors. No wonder! Look at how much they change! But I think that I'd prefer to pull out of the forum than to screw things up for the mods or the Giant. If I were them, I'd be pretty annoyed if someone was going against the rules and scaring the possible kids who stumbled on it. It's their playground, their rules, and if I can't abide, I should take my stuff elsewhere. I'll just post on FF.net. It has it's own alert system so anyone who wants to follow can sign up and be emailed when I update, so no linking or mentioning or what have you will turn up here.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, especially in their own place.

*Sigh* If you really want to. But some of us (Including me) don't have FF accounts.

It may be for the best, but how about trying to see if you can stick within the rules first too.

And in any case, oftentimes allusion and implication can be so much creepier and squick-inducing than saying it outright.

[Dark_Stryke]

To help clarify the lines a little, based on a few quick google searches, a PG-13 movie can have the following:

• Brief, generally non-sexual nudity.
• Few or no instances of strong, sexually derived curse words.
• Violence, though generally not excessive or very realistic violence.
• Any drug use requires at LEAST a PG-13 rating, and possibly R.

With that in mind, I'd say you can get away with the following:

• Mentioning nudity, but not describing the characters' figures and/or genitals in detail.
• Sexual situations between adult members of the OotS cast or original characters, provided they are not based in any way on yourself or people you know, with the understanding that anything beyond "Second Base" deserves a fade-to-black.
• Mild profanity, generally including terms that have appeared in the comic, or words with both a mild and profane meaning (Taken directly from the rules of posting)
• References to alcohol. The rules of posting suggest that any discussion of illegal drugs is worth an infraction, however.
• Violence, but not excessive or graphic violence. Feel free to say someone got thrashed pretty bad, maybe even to the point that they're dying. Don't go describing how external someone's internal organs have suddenly become.

I think that's a pretty accurate list of what is acceptable, after reviewing the rules of posting and the MPAA movie ratings guide. If you're not sure, I'd suggest PMing your story to a mod before posting. Of course, Roland may get sick of reading our stories and close the thread out of spite in that case.

[NemoUtopia]

I've never really been good at keeping to censors. No wonder! Look at how much they change! But I think that I'd prefer to pull out of the forum than to screw things up for the mods or the Giant. If I were them, I'd be pretty annoyed if someone was going against the rules and scaring the possible kids who stumbled on it. It's their playground, their rules, and if I can't abide, I should take my stuff elsewhere. I'll just post on FF.net. It has it's own alert system so anyone who wants to follow can sign up and be emailed when I update, so no linking or mentioning or what have you will turn up here.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, especially in their own place.

Ah, I see. Well, that's been my personal issue with the lack of an acceptable means to post adult content (as it actually limits my own further crack-writing), but I understand perfectly why there isn't. I think a compromise like you mention is probably the best way. This of course leads to a specific question, which I'll start with:
1) we shouldn't link offsite to circumvent forum rules (which is expressly breaking them, in fact)
2) explicitly adult material falls under this clause
3) we can mention that we have a DA account, are an author with another hosting site, etc.
3b) we shouldn't directly link to said places

So: Can we mention the writer stuff and where to find it obliquely, knowing there is some content that falls under 'adult content' under board rules? I specifically ask for my own benefit as well, as I have multiple such locations, some which have such material and some which don't. Am I allowed to link to all of them? Only the non-adult ones? None of them because the non-adult ones have ways to find said other writing?

[Kyronea]

But... it's that, not only do I have very little sense of what's PG-13 or not, but I have difficulty maintaining interest in a story if it doesn't go in dark directions. Writing is something I love, partially because it's an outlet for me to put my thoughts on paper (or Internet...). If I don't have that outlet, I start having nervous breakdowns and dangerous fits where I think I'll hurt myself. It's like having a garbage disposal plugged up somewhere along the line--it looks fine for a bit, then all hell breaks loose. I like writing fluffy, family-friendly things once in a while, but I can't carry whole multi-chapter stories.



Oh, it's just that I was brought up in a very liberal family, and APD made it really hard for me to understand that there were such things as taboos. I couldn't understand it when people told me not to do or say stuff. I only learned about a year ago that there is a time and a place where it's appropriate to say stuff, and that's not EVERY time and place. (My parents would say that I still have not grasped the concept.)

In a nutshell, blame it on weird wiring in my brain that blocked me off.



Seriously? What tipped you off?

And I don't know about you, but I had too much fun writing the 'glass in face' scene...



I was a little surprised too, but hey, it's Rich's playground. Roland basically told me that I shouldn't be posting or linking to graphic sexuality and it should stay PG-13.



I asked, and he said that they'd prefer it if I didn't. I'm probably just going to move my 'base of story-writing' over to FF.net. Maybe we can start a forum there or something if Roland doesn't like where we're going here? It could be a good compromise.



*giggles* You make me blush, really. I'm probably just going to start posting my stuff on FF. The Giant's forums will stay clean of my destructive mindset and I'll still be able to write.



*points up at other responses*



*sighs wistfully* My first girlfriend was online.

(My first boyfriend was IRL, though, but back on topic...)



I've never really been good at keeping to censors. No wonder! Look at how much they change! But I think that I'd prefer to pull out of the forum than to screw things up for the mods or the Giant. If I were them, I'd be pretty annoyed if someone was going against the rules and scaring the possible kids who stumbled on it. It's their playground, their rules, and if I can't abide, I should take my stuff elsewhere. I'll just post on FF.net. It has it's own alert system so anyone who wants to follow can sign up and be emailed when I update, so no linking or mentioning or what have you will turn up here.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, especially in their own place.

It's your decision. So long as you keep writing, I'll keep reading, because I love your stuff, and I totally understand what you mean about needing an outlet.

Just take care, Water-Smurf, and don't let yourself be too bothered by this. Look at it instead as opening up the door for whatever you wish to write. Now you're no longer limited. You can go anywhere your mind takes you.

[Silverraptor]

So some one else has faced the horror that I faced. Though I didn't get a warning from Roland, I did become creeped out enough to not write for a while. (And it's still in effect.)

Sorry about that Water-Smurf.

[Callista]

...so, I've just been catching up on these threads, and... yeah, my brain is currently running out of my ears...

But wow, who'd have thought such good storytelling could come from crack pairings, of all things?

*reads more*

Yeah, pass the brain bleach. And the tissues. Somehow.

[EvilRoeSlade]

That was really great for your first roll, EvilRoeSlade! I must ask: Will there be a second roll?

Oh dear, now you've gone and encouraged me. I might try again sooner or later, I might even try something more serious, though truth be told I'm satisfied with the canonical pairings (and the asexual characters) enough that I'm not particularly inspired to change anything.

[derfenrirwolv]

Dare i ask if Banjo and or Slapstick have been paired up with tusiko's stuffed xykon yet?

[Roland St. Jude]

To help clarify the lines a little, based on a few quick google searches, a PG-13 movie can have the following:

• Brief, generally non-sexual nudity.
• Few or no instances of strong, sexually derived curse words.
• Violence, though generally not excessive or very realistic violence.
• Any drug use requires at LEAST a PG-13 rating, and possibly R.

With that in mind, I'd say you can get away with the following:

• Mentioning nudity, but not describing the characters' figures and/or genitals in detail.
• Sexual situations between adult members of the OotS cast or original characters, provided they are not based in any way on yourself or people you know, with the understanding that anything beyond "Second Base" deserves a fade-to-black.
• Mild profanity, generally including terms that have appeared in the comic, or words with both a mild and profane meaning (Taken directly from the rules of posting)
• References to alcohol. The rules of posting suggest that any discussion of illegal drugs is worth an infraction, however.
• Violence, but not excessive or graphic violence. Feel free to say someone got thrashed pretty bad, maybe even to the point that they're dying. Don't go describing how external someone's internal organs have suddenly become.

I think that's a pretty accurate list of what is acceptable, after reviewing the rules of posting and the MPAA movie ratings guide. If you're not sure, I'd suggest PMing your story to a mod before posting. Of course, Roland may get sick of reading our stories and close the thread out of spite in that case.

This is a reasonable summary. I would just add that unlike in a film, a story or picture here isn't fleeting or in the context of a whole work.

We're not going to define it any further. That's intentional. Rather than have a detailed description that can then be evaded or avoided, we have a standard which, if you have any doubts about whether it's met, we'd prefer you don't post. This is primarily a gaming and comic site. We allow general discussion and artistic endeavors like fan art and fanfic, but only to the extent that it's within the Forum Rules.

You could always ask a mod if they'd be okay with proof-reading to make sure anything you post is ok.

Honestly, there is no way I have time to pre-approve your work. Instead, I'd refer you to the, "when in doubt, don't post it," guideline. Although I will offer the slightly more helpful, "when in doubt, forward it to one of the fine folks who feel they have a better feel for the appropriate standard here and see what they say," guideline.

Ah, I see. Well, that's been my personal issue with the lack of an acceptable means to post adult content (as it actually limits my own further crack-writing), but I understand perfectly why there isn't. I think a compromise like you mention is probably the best way. This of course leads to a specific question, which I'll start with:
1) we shouldn't link offsite to circumvent forum rules (which is expressly breaking them, in fact)
2) explicitly adult material falls under this clause
3) we can mention that we have a DA account, are an author with another hosting site, etc.
3b) we shouldn't directly link to said places

This, too, seems generally accurate.

So: Can we mention the writer stuff and where to find it obliquely, knowing there is some content that falls under 'adult content' under board rules? I specifically ask for my own benefit as well, as I have multiple such locations, some which have such material and some which don't. Am I allowed to link to all of them? Only the non-adult ones? None of them because the non-adult ones have ways to find said other writing?

Don't link to or advertise material here that violates our Forum Rules. If you have a location of material within the Forum Rules, it's fine to link there when you update it.

Now, if you have an off-site location of content not appropriate for here, can you advertise it here? As I told WaterSmurf, we'd prefer that you don't. A simple, "I added a story to my blog" is likely to fly under the radar, but technically...we'd really prefer that you don't.

I'll just post on FF.net. It has it's own alert system so anyone who wants to follow can sign up and be emailed when I update, so no linking or mentioning or what have you will turn up here.

That seems like an elegant solution to me.

And I may not be able to write a lot anymore. I just got a warning from Roland about linking my last story and I'm a little nervous about posting anything. Considering the environment I grew up in, I really have no idea what counts as 'family friendly' or 'PG-13.' I'd probably screw up and get ban-hammered.

No one gets banhammered in the manner this post suggests except spammers and people who commit Instant Banning offenses. If you have a question about a Warning/Infraction/banning/other moderation, please PM me rather than making a public issue of it.

Now,

Sheriff of Moddingham: Please leave the rules discussion aside and return to the topic of the thread, within the Forum Rules, of course.

[Dark_Stryke]

With the above in mind, I'll offer my services as a proofreader if anyone is unsure about the content of their fic. I tend to check the forums at least once a day, even if I don't always post.

[Sereg]

Dare i ask if Banjo and or Slapstick have been paired up with tusiko's stuffed xykon yet?

It's Giggles, not Slapstick. As for the question, not yet, but it's a good idea that needs to be done.

@EvilRoeSlade I enjoyed your first piece as well. Remember that just because you're happy with the in-comic pairings, doesn't mean that you can't have fun with ridiculous pairings as well.

On my pun: Yeah, it was bad, but I got the idea and needed to run with it.

On Durkon's accent: Yes, I find it difficult to portray accurately, so I just exagerate it a little.

[NemoUtopia]

*tips hat to Moddingham* ty for the clarity...on that note, I have things in the pipeline, i just need to polish them up

[Mystic Muse]

With the above in mind, I'll offer my services as a proofreader if anyone is unsure about the content of their fic. I tend to check the forums at least once a day, even if I don't always post.

same here.

[Taekwondodo]

I was actually wondering if someone would comment on that. I was worried it was narmy.

No, it was just very sweet but didn't go too far. Kind of emphasised Deirdre's madness and how, deep down, there was still some of Tia left.

On a related note crack pairings had invaded my dreams! Dreamed about cross between "Dumped on the Rooster" and "Of All the Ways to Lose Someone" (hmm... both W-S fics). Deidre was at the assembly and recognises Redcloak (dunno how she got there). She panics, wonders if she really killed him and so goes after him to kill him. Felt like a good story at the time and I actually dreamed I had woken up and wrote the idea down. Then actually woke up and said "Did I just dream I wrote that? Crap."

Tell me, is that a bad sign?

[CoffeeIncluded]

No, it was just very sweet but didn't go too far. Kind of emphasised Deirdre's madness and how, deep down, there was still some of Tia left.

On a related note crack pairings had invaded my dreams! Dreamed about cross between "Dumped on the Rooster" and "Of All the Ways to Lose Someone" (hmm... both W-S fics). Deidre was at the assembly and recognises Redcloak (dunno how she got there). She panics, wonders if she really killed him and so goes after him to kill him. Felt like a good story at the time and I actually dreamed I had woken up and wrote the idea down. Then actually woke up and said "Did I just dream I wrote that? Crap."

Tell me, is that a bad sign?

Heh, wow.

No, false awakenings are common.

[Taekwondodo]

Heh, wow.

No, false awakenings are common.

Not the false awakening but the dreaming of pairings in the first place.

[Closak]

You are not the only one who dreams like that.

I have dreams about the ABD going humpy on random male characters all the time.

It makes me worry a bit about the state of my sanity.

...Also, congratulations Coffee.