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  1. - Top - End - #301
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Heh, this forum is funny.
    When people told you that you were dumb, they were being nice.

  2. - Top - End - #302
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lkctgo View Post
    Heh, this forum is funny.
    "Haha!" funny or "what's this odd purple thing on my foot?" funny?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  3. - Top - End - #303

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    "Haha!" funny or "what's this odd purple thing on my foot?" funny?
    I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

    OR purple.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  4. - Top - End - #304
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    "Haha!" funny or "what's this odd purple thing on my foot?" funny?
    I don't understand the difference.

    Please explain.
    Nadir We,
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  5. - Top - End - #305
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    I don't understand the difference.

    Please explain.
    Funny can mean "humourous", or it can mean "odd".

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

    OR purple.
    While something can be funny while being odd, it can also be either without being the other. When refering to this thread, I think it needs clarifying.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 06:40 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  6. - Top - End - #306
    Orc in the Playground
     
    TheBibliophile's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Funny can mean "humourous", or it can mean "odd". While something can be funny while being odd, it can also be either without being the other. When refering to this thread, I think it needs clarifying.
    Zanaril, you are a grammarian after my own heart.
    Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
    Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
    My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
    Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.

  7. - Top - End - #307

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I was implying that he meant both.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  8. - Top - End - #308
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I was implying that he meant both.
    That seems likely.

    Carrying on...
    Spoiler
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    Mr. Jones stood in the cell doorway and looked down disapprovingly at his associate "You had better hope we catch them, otherwise there'll be no TV time for a month."

    "Aww, no fair!" The still tied up lawyer moaned.

    Mr. Jones was about to remark when a guard jogged up to the cell. "Sir, I'm sorry to say we've searched the whole building. We're pretty confident they have left the site."

    Mr. Jones scowled. "You had the mages use See Invisibility? They manged to access the scrolls before anyone sounded the alarm."

    "Yes sir. They found nothing."

    "Fine. Have the trackers search the surrounding area in case they left any tracks, but if nothing turns up by tomorrow we'll have to call it off since they'll have their spells back and they could be anywhere by then."

    The guard saluted and left. Mr. Jones turned back towards the cell. "Your TV time is officially forfeit. And you can sleep in there tonight." With that, he turned sharply and exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

    ***

    Some time later and several miles away - the invisibility spell having long worn off - the two wizards finally stopped in a small clearing. The jailhouse had disappeared over the horizon, with the surrounding woods enclosed the small mossy area they finally felt that they could afford to rest. They lay back on the mossy ground, breathing in the quicky cooling air as the long shadows of evening deepened. Finally, it was Zz'dtri who broke the peaceful silence.

    "And now you'll leave me."

    Vaarsuvius look up and saw dark elf sitting with his knees drawn up to his chin, face tilted upwards watching the first few stars begin to appear. The look on his face was that of heartbreak, and of long, endless loneliness.

    "I wont leave you." Vaarsuvius replied, getting up and going over to sit beside the drow, but not quite touching him.

    "Will. Everyone does. Only bothered before because you couldn't leave."

    "Thats not at all true. I do care about you, even if such feeling have only arisen in the past few days."

    "But you will leave."

    Vaarsuvius was about to protest this, but Zz'dtri pressed on, unusually vocal.

    "You can't stay because there are people elsewhere who need you more than I do."

    For once, Vaarsuvius was lost for words. After a few moments, the elf put a gentle hand under the drow's chin, causing him to turn to face the other elf, and said the only obvious thing to say.

    "I love you."

    Then to silence any further argument, Vaarsuvius kissed the surprised elf hard. After a moments pause he returned the kiss, matching it's initial intensity as their tongues met.

    Slender hands pawed at robe ties, and Zz'dtri pulled Vaarsuvius towards him, arching and gasping as the kisses moved from his mouth along his jaw. Having finally managed to untie the fastnings, Vaarsuvius pulled the robes off of his thin shoulders, hands wandering fleetingly up and down his back, fingers flexing and grasping as red robes were discarded in a simmilar fassion.

    Neither spoke, as nothing more that needed to be said could be done so with words.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius closed the leatherbound book as the moring sun touched it's well worn cover. Standing up, the elf checked that any spell components were within easy reach, before going to stand next to Zz'dtri, who was doing the same.

    "So, this is goodbye."

    "Yes." the drow replied emotionlessly.

    "For now." Vaarsuvius added with a smile,"And it future, who knows."

    A rare smile touched Zz'dtri's lips. "I can wait" He said.

    They killed a final time, and then without another word, Vaarsuvius cast a Fly spell, rising effortlessly over the trees and up into the sky. Zz'dtri watched until the red speck was invisible even to his keen eyes.

    He looked down and, still smiling. "I can wait."

    Without backwards glance he set off through the trees in the opposite direction. He had his own life to to live.

    And he could live it too, as long as he knew that somewhere, however distant, was someone who cared.

    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 03:05 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  9. - Top - End - #309
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Pretty cute, I especially liked the "no TV!" segment. It promises some angst too.

    Anyway, I was rereading some strips and I encountered this delicious little dialogue:

    : That's right, I'm in trouble.
    : Are you pregnant?
    : What? No! Bozzok wants me dead.
    : Why, is he the father?

    I'm surprised nobody thought about this pairing before.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  10. - Top - End - #310
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Pretty cute, I especially liked the "no TV!" segment. It promises some angst too.

    I'm almost done, but I'm still working on that last section. I just like to save it now and then in case Firefox crashes or something.

    When I'm done, I'll post the whole thing together. (And maybe post it on fanfiction.net if they've got the log-in page working.)

    Anyway, I was rereading some strips and I encountered this delicious little dialogue:

    : That's right, I'm in trouble.
    : Are you pregnant?
    : What? No! Bozzok wants me dead.
    : Why, is he the father?

    I'm surprised nobody thought about this pairing before.
    Nah, not enough angst potential for me.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 03:10 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  11. - Top - End - #311
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lira's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Crack Pairings Compilations

    [Work in progress here, check back later]
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-09-04 at 01:20 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #312
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lira's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Crack Pairings Story Index

    Stories by badam104172
    Stories by BatRobin
    Stories by Belkster11
    Stories by The Blackbird
    Stories by TheBibliophile
    Stories by CheeseMuncher
    Stories by CurlyKitGirl
    Stories by Dak Frostwrath
    Stories by The Dark Fiddler
    Stories by Discord
    Stories by doliest
    Stories by Dra-Goon
    Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands
    Stories by Elan's Modron
    Stories by Elvenblade
    Stories by Expeditious
    Stories by Forevernade
    Stories by Gimliggamer
    Stories by Hijax
    Stories by Introbulus
    Stories by jogiff
    Stories by Kaytara
    Stories by Kitteh
    Stories by Kobold-Bard
    Stories by Kraggi
    Stories by lindorm
    Stories by Lollie
    Stories by Lycan 01
    Stories by MagicianMan5
    Stories by Malkar Grumbo
    Stories by MasamuneSSX
    Stories by Minion992929
    Stories by Moofin Bard
    Stories by MReav
    Stories by NamonakiRei
    Stories by NemoUtopia
    Stories by Nerdanel
    Stories by The Odor
    Stories by Pid6
    Stories by pnewman
    Stories by PsychoPat
    Stories by RPGAgmJAY
    Stories by Saeyan
    Stories by SaintRidley
    Stories by Sequinox
    Stories by Shining Sadist
    Stories by Silverraptor
    Stories by Somniloquist
    Stories by Taekwondodo
    Stories by Tira-chan
    Stories by TooManySecrets
    Stories by TSED
    Stories by waterpenguin43
    Stories by Water-Smurf
    Stories by Weimann
    Stories by WhereamI?
    Stories by Xesirin
    Stories by Zanaril
    Stories by Zen_Heart
    Stories by Ziren
    Stories by Zolkabro
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-09-14 at 06:34 PM.
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    ...............................................

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  13. - Top - End - #313
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lira's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Crack Pairings Art Compilation

    Banners:
    Banners made for advertising the thread in your signature.

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    The following banners were made by the amazingly talented Zanaril:




















    The following were made by Ted The Bug:




    The following were made by Funky Goose:


























    The following was made by Discord:


    Crack Pairings Art:
    A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.

    Spoiler
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    Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon, made by Zanaril for her Xykon/Vaarsuvius story.


    Miko and Vaarsuvius, made by Zanaril.


    Female living Xykon, made by TooManySecrets


    Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius, made by Saeyan and inspired by Zanaril's V/Z story.



    Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend, made by The Neoclassic.


    Evil Lien, made by The Neoclassic.


    Vaarsuvius, made by Kaytara and inspired by Water-Smurf's Redcloak/Vaarsuvius story.


    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak, made by Delorges and inspired by Water-Smurf's Redcloak/Vaarsuvius story.


    Redcloak and Vaarsuvius, made by Zanaril and inspired by Water-Smurf's Redcloak/Vaarsuvius story.


    Inkyrius, made by Saeyan and inspired by Zanaril's V/Z story.


    Miko and O-Chul, made by Delorges.


    Vaarsuvius and Redcloak, made by CheeseMuncher and inspired by Water-Smurf's Redcloak/Vaarsuvius story.


    Made by CheeseMuncher.


    Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll, made by Saeyan.


    Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll, made by Saeyan.


    Aarindarius and Inkyrius, made by Saeyan.





    A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story, made by Funky Goose.


    Spock and Vaarsuvius, photo taken by Tira-chan.


    Aarindarius, Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius, by Saeyan.


    A wanted sign for Zanaril, made by Saeyan.


    Vaarsuvius, made by Saeyan.
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-09-14 at 06:36 PM.
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    ...............................................

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  14. - Top - End - #314
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lira's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    VaarsuviusxZz'dtri [continuation of Discord's story] by Zanaril
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    Zz'dtri raised his head at the sound of a key turning in the lock, drawn out of his light trance. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t to see a familiar elf being shoved forward into the cell, the door then slammed shut once more.

    "This is the price you pay for copyright violation!" shouted a voice through the door. "Enjoy your time with a fellow plagiarist."

    "With the spoooooky drow!"

    "Quiet, Phil."

    Vaarsuvius brushed non-existent dust motes from red robes and turned to scowl unseen through the door at the two lawyers, before glancing towards the other elf.

    Zz'dtri raised an inquiring eyebrow. "You too?"

    Vaarsuvius scoffed. "They seized me and dragged me here, citing a certain 'Raistlin Majere'."

    "Who?" The drow asked from his seat on the single narrow bench in the cell.

    "I know of no such person anymore than you do." Vaarsuvius said dryly, turning away from the dark elf and walking over to the single barred window set in the stone. The elf gave the bars a tug, without much enthusiasm. They were completely solid.

    "No way out. Already looked."

    "I will make my own assessment of that, thank you" The red robed wizard replied sharply, going over to the door and peering through the small (also barred) hatch. "I take it this is an anti-magic cell...? Of course it is, since you would otherwise have wasted no time in enacting revenge for my previous victory over you."

    "Not with Nale anymore."

    "As if that makes any difference to one such as you; you went out of your way to be unfriendly even before you had revealed your true colours."

    "Sorry."

    "Excuse me?" Vaarsuvius turned to face the dark elf, raising an eyebrow in an incredulous expression. Zz'dtri shuffled over to one end of the bench, indicating for the other elf to sit down. Vaarsuvius remained standing.

    "I was mean. I'm sorry." Zz'dtri tried again, meeting distrusting eyes. Vaarsuvius paused for a moment then accepted the offered seat, leaning back against the wall and closing weary eyes.

    "And what, may I ask, has caused you to review your past behavior towards me? Why act as you did at the time?"

    "I was... nervous. You made me nervous."

    Vaarsuvius's eyes opened again "What do mean by "made you ner-" and then the elf jumped, because Zz'dtri had moved and was now sitting much, much closer, their robes only just not touching. Vaarsuvius leant away from the dark face that was looking earnestly towards the elf's own.

    "N- no! For one thing, I am already in a relationship - although it is uncertain as to whether it will... endure recent events - and for another I have no interest in pursuing romantic engagements at the current time!"

    "Sorry." The dark elf lowered his gaze to the stone floor, shoulders slumped, and for a long time neither spoke.

    Then "Just... been alone too long." he said, still not looking up. "Even before they brought me here."

    A sigh. "I, too, must apologize then - maybe I was too harsh when first addressing you." Tentatively, Vaarsuvius placed an arm lightly around the other elf's shoulders, and didn't shy away when he leant into the embrace. "And.. maybe I partly understand how you feel; it's easy to be isolated, even when surrounded by others. Especially when surrounded be others."

    Vaarsuvius glanced down. When their lips met, neither pulled away.

    ***

    "I knew this would happen if we put them in the same cell." Mr. Jones muttered, staring through the hatch in the door.

    "Why, what are they doing? Can I have a look?" The other lawyer asked enthusiastically, trying to see around Mr. Jones' head.

    "They're kissing and... doing other things." He said, shutting the hatch, which resulted in a disappointed sigh from his associate.

    "What other things?"

    "I'll tell you when you're older, Phil."

    ***

    A slight breeze drifted though the barred window, catching a few strands of white hair. The elf shivered slightly, snuggling further into the arms of the warm being who lay next to him; a slight smile crossed dark lips, their owner deep in pleasant memories. The other elf, however, was not so restful. Features twisted into a frown, unpleasant memories crossing unbidden behind closed eyes. Finally, these dark spectres of the past became to much and with a gasp Vaarsuvius jerked awake and sat up, breathing heavily.

    Zz'dtri opened bleary eyes. "Again?"

    Vaarsuvius nodded, then shivered and replaced the dislodged cloak around bare shoulders; under the makeshift blanket of cloaks and robes they were both naked. The dark elf sat up too, stifling a yawn, then wrapped his arms protectively around the other's shoulders.

    "Too many things I can't forget." Vaarsuvius sighed, leaning back and closing tired eyes. "I though it was bad before, when all I could focus on was how my magic had failed... how I'd failed. But now -" The elf trailed off, holding back a sob. Zz'dtri raised a hand, and gently touched the other's face.
    "Now all I can remember of is the fear in their eyes."

    "They'd forgive you if they understood." He muttered, replacing the hand with lips.

    "But I don't think they would." Vaarsuvius sighed again. "I made the decision to leave them long, long ago, even if I didn't realize at the time. I traded their love for my thirst for the arcane, then when I though I had finally proved my power, I expected it to be enough to replace actual devotion to my family." A slight, sad laugh "I abandon one thing for another all too readily, then expect forgiveness when it fails me. Look where I am now!"

    Zz'dtri paused in the process of gently nibbling a pointed ear, then shrugged when Vaarsuvius made no indication to stop. Dark hands left their place around the other's shoulders to stroke down thin sides.

    "I can't stay here, there's too many people who - who are depending on me, and not - ah!- not just my family." V turned a purple haired head towards Z'zdtri - tangled strands almost lilac in the low light - and buried a pained face in the side of his neck as his hands continued to move lower.

    "Otherwise, I don't think the memories will ever go away." V murmured, twisting around to return the now fervent ministrations by locking lips.

    "Don't have to trance." Zz'dtri said, pulling away momentarily "Just.. don't think."
    For the rest of the night the only sounds in the dark were the soft rustle of cloth and, occasionally, a soft sigh.

    ***

    "Hey elveses! Breakfast time!" Phil chirped, knocking on the door with his free hand. He paused, then frowned in confusion when there was silence from within the cell. "Elveses?" He queried again, looking worriedly through the door hatch at the apparently empty cell.

    "Aww, please don't have escaped, Mr. Jones will be really angry at me!" He hurriedly put the tray down and unlocked the cell door, fumbling with the keys in his haste.

    Panicking, he poked his head round the door "Hello? Are you in h- oof!" and was knocked onto the floor by Zz'dtri fist, both elves having been standing against the wall out of sight. Quickly, they dragged the unfortunate lawyer completely into the cell.

    "Let me go!" Phil began struggling, prompting Varsuvius to sit on him while Zz'dtri tied his hands and feet tightly with strips of cloth torn from their cloaks. "I'm gonna tell!" The trussed up lawyer started whinging.

    "Gag?" Zz'dtri queried, clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, but Vaarsuvius indicated for him to step away and knelt down in front of the lawyer.

    "Where are our spell books?" The red robed Elf asked.

    "Not telling! Mr. Jones would get really, really mad at me!"

    "We won't inform him that you told us of their location. However if you don't, we will get mad at you." Phil glanced between the two of them. They met his gaze with cold eyes.

    "They're in his the office on the next floor. But no-one else is allowed in there!"

    "We'll take that chance." Vaarsuvius stood, picking up the dropped ring of keys. Both elves then walked out of the cell, shutting the door behind them. A key scraped in the lock.

    "I recommend you remain quiet, otherwise your associate will discover our absence." Varsuvius shouted back as the two hurried away.

    "Hey! Don't leave me alone in here! It's scary."

    ***

    The rough stone corridor led them to a stairway, which led up to another corridor, but this one with a faded carpet covering the floor. Each elf went over to once side and began checking for one that looked like an office. The third one Vaarsuvius came across lacked a window hatch, so the elf cautiously opened the door a crack, peered in, then let out a sigh when it became apparent the room was empty and opened the door fully. Zz'dtri hurried over.

    "Just cells on that side."

    "This must be where he meant. We must depart here as soon as we are able, so begin searching the far side of the room while I look over here." With that, Vaarsuvius headed over to the large desk and, after a distasteful look at the anachronistic computer, began rummaging through the draws.

    Zz'dtri started opening the metal cabinets along the opposite wall. The first few were full of files, but then he can across one which was locked.

    "Keys! Any keys?"

    Vaarsuvius looked around, then, spotting a small set of keys that had been dislodged in searching, tossed them over. Zz'dtri quickly ran through them until he found one that fit. He pulled it open to see a jumble of assorted items - and their spell books.

    "Yes! Here!" He exclaimed grabbing the books as Vaarsuvius hurried over, then passing the other elf the unfamiliar one. He was gathering up the few scrolls that were also there, when suddenly an earsplitting siren started, startling both of them.

    "Damnation! They must have discovered that idiot in the cell!" Vaarsuvius shouted over the noise, standing up and hurrying to the door. Zz'dtri scooped up the scrolls and quickly followed. Footfall could be heard in the distance, coming closer every second.

    V grabbed a few of the scrolls and began flicking through them. "There has to be one here..."

    ***

    Mr. Jones stood in the cell doorway and looked down disapprovingly at his associate "You had better hope we catch them, otherwise there'll be no TV time for a month."

    "Aww, no fair!" The still tied up lawyer moaned.

    Mr. Jones was about to reply when a guard jogged up to the cell. "Sir, I'm sorry to say we've searched the whole building. We're pretty confident they have left the site."

    Mr. Jones scowled. "You had the mages use See Invisibility? They managed to access the scrolls before anyone sounded the alarm."

    "Yes sir. They found nothing."

    "Fine. Have the trackers search the surrounding area in case they left any tracks, but if nothing turns up by tomorrow we'll have to call it off since they'll have their spells back and they could be anywhere by then."

    The guard saluted and left. Mr. Jones turned back towards the cell. "Your TV time is officially forfeit. And you can sleep in there tonight." With that, he turned sharply and exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

    ***

    Some time later and several miles away - the invisibility spell having long worn off - the two wizards finally stopped in a small clearing. The jailhouse having disappeared over the horizon and the surrounding woods enclosing the small area, they finally felt that they could afford to rest. They lay back on the mossy ground, breathing in the quickly cooling air as the long shadows of evening deepened. Finally, it was Zz'dtri who broke the peaceful silence.

    "And now you'll leave me."

    Vaarsuvius look up and saw the dark elf sitting with his knees drawn up to his chin, face tilted upwards watching the first few stars begin to appear. The look on his face was that of heartbreak, and of long, endless loneliness.

    "I wont leave you." Vaarsuvius replied, getting up and going over to sit beside the drow, not quite touching him.

    "Will. Everyone does. Only bothered before because you couldn't leave."

    "That’s not at all true. I do care about you, even if such feeling have only arisen in the past few days."

    "But you will leave."

    Vaarsuvius was about to protest this, but Zz'dtri pressed on, unusually vocal.

    "You can't stay because there are people elsewhere who need you more than I do."

    For once, Vaarsuvius was lost for words. After a few moments, the elf put a gentle hand under the drow's chin, causing him to turn to face the other elf, and said the only obvious thing to say.

    "I love you."

    Then to silence any further argument, Vaarsuvius kissed the surprised elf hard. After a moment's pause he returned the kiss, matching its initial intensity as their tongues met.

    Slender hands pawed at robe ties, and Zz'dtri pulled Vaarsuvius towards him, arching and gasping as the kisses moved from his mouth along his jaw. Having finally managed to untie the fastenings, Vaarsuvius pulled the robes off of his thin shoulders, hands wandering fleetingly up and down his back, fingers flexing and grasping as red robes were discarded in a similar fashion.

    Neither spoke, as nothing more that needed to be said could be done so with words.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius closed the leather-bound book as the morning sun touched it's cover. Standing up, the elf checked that any spell components were within easy reach before going to stand next to Zz'dtri, who was doing the same.

    "So, this is goodbye."

    "Yes." the drow replied emotionlessly.

    "For now." Vaarsuvius added with a smile, "And in future, who knows."

    A rare smile touched Zz'dtri's lips. "I can wait." he said.

    They kissed a final time, and then without another word, Vaarsuvius cast a Fly spell, rising effortlessly over the trees and up into the sky. Zz'dtri watched until the red speck was invisible even to his keen eyes.

    He looked down, still smiling. "I can wait."

    Without backwards glance he set off through the trees in the opposite direction. He had his own life to live.

    And he could live it too, as long as he knew that somewhere, however distant, was someone who cared.


    RoyxRedcloak by The Dark Fiddler
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    Title: Diplomacy, Intimidate, Seduce

    “Where’s Xykon?” Roy asked, slowing down just enough to cleave the final zombie in the room in half.
    “I’m afraid I do not know, Sir Greenshilt. He has simply disappeared… he is an epic spellcaster, you can never be sure of what they can do,” Vaarsuvius replied. Roy sighed.
    “Just great., this was our best chance to stop him, and we’ve failed! WE might never get a chance like this again!”
    “I don’t know Roy, we killed a lot of his minions, and even a wizard like him can’t just keep creating more,” the rogue, Haley said.
    “Unless he makes zombies,” Elan pointed out. Roy just sighed again.
    “Guys, we need to try and find him. Durkon, did you prepare Sending today?”
    “Aye lad.”
    “Good, and you V?”
    “I did indeed, Sir Greenhilt.”
    “Good, Haley, Elan, and Durkon, go east and search for Xykon. If you find him, contact us with Sending. I’ll take Belkar and Vaarsuvius, and if we find him, we’ll contact you,” Roy said, heading west with the elf and halfling following closely behind. They found nothing more than a few zombies and hobgoblins as they walked, and they were easily dispatched. Just as they were about to split up, they heard a voice.
    “Mass Inf-“
    “Hold Person.” Roy turned around to see Xykon’s most powerful Cleric on the ground, paralyzed, with Vaarsuvius smiling.
    “Christmas came early for ol’ Belkar!” Belkar said, lunging at the goblin. Roy grabbed Belkar quickly, holding him back.
    “Don’t even think about it, you little psychopath. We need him. He might be able to tell us where Xykon is…”
    --------------
    “Any luck V?” Roy asked, as the elf appeared.
    “No, Sir Greenhilt. He is not afraid of me, I cannot get any information from him. Perhaps you would fare better.”
    --------------
    “Ok, talk. Where is Xykon?” Roy asked, holding his sword in a threatening way.
    “Why would I tell you, human?” Redcloak spat.
    “Because you are tied up at the moment, and I have a sword.”
    “Your threats won’t work; I’ve suffered countless times under Xykon, both mentally and physically. You could say it’s granted me immunity to fear. And even if you did kill me, he’d simply have me resurrected; I am very valuable to him.” Roy shook his head, deciding to try a different approach.
    “If he’s so bad, why do you stay with him? I’m sure he doesn’t value you beyond how useful you are to him, but if you joined the good guys, you wouldn’t just be any Cleric, you know.”
    “He’s simply a tool; a way to reach my goal. And even though he is evil, and admittedly abusive, he does provide me with everything I need.”
    “Everything? There is nothing that we could get you that he does not provide?”
    “No, nothing.” Roy just sighed, this was getting him nowhere. There had to be something that Xykon didn’t give him. He obviously had no need for spellcasting aides, and he was obviously given enough food. Xykon has been a lich for at least a few decades, there had to be some things about being alive that he had forgotten. Roy scanned his memories, every memory, to see if he could find something. One memory stuck in his mind; Celia. It seemed so simple now!
    “Really? I bet I can think of… one thing that he hasn’t given you…” Roy said, slowly leaning nearer the Goblin’s face...


    IFCCxCrystal by doliest
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    Crystal sat in a tavern fifth teen miles outside of Thor knows where, she had been tracking Starshine for the last couple of weeks, but kept on remembering that you needed wisdom to actually track someone. She figured that if she kept going in one direction she’d find Starshine, but that wasn’t the only thing bugging her. She may not have a high enough wisdom to track Starshine but she had enough to pick up on the innuendo of what the halfing had said to her, and it was starting to bother her. Just as she was about to order another drink , three tall cloaked men walked into the tavern.

    “Why do we have to stop here?” One of them whined.

    “Because it’s snowing and we won’t be able to catch up with the elf and that red-haired rogue in the snow!” Another replied.

    Crystal shot up upon hearing the words, ‘red-haired rogue’ and smiled, thinking she could solve both problems at once. “Hey, I can help you with that!” She screamed at the tall figures, “But I have a price.”

    “And what would that be?” The third figure asked.

    “ This!” She replied, talking them to the ground, ‘Yep, gonna fix all my problems for now!’


    Gender-switched WindstrikerxThe Bandit King by doliest
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    He looked at the cloaked figure that had killed his little girl, his ball of sunshine, his spoiled princess. His eyes though, were drawn behind the figure to the most beautiful horse he had ever seen, and for some strange reason he could fantasize it in a policeman’s outfit. As the figure sliced him apart, he knew he was going into the afterlife smiling.


    BelkarxYokYok by doliest
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    Belkar smiled as he took out his favorite head and put on his mother’s favorite frilley dress. This head had taught him two things the first being that certain activities with a dead head could lead to vampirism and the second that he had some issues to work out, but right now none of that mattered. All that mattered was that he was going to have some fun with his favorite kobold head.


    BelkarxZz’dtri by Zen_Heart
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    Belkar’s eyes opened slowly and he smiled a little when he saw the naked creature in his arms. Big, calculating eyes were staring up at his face, trying to piece together the situation.

    “You look like you’re actually trying to make this make sense.”

    “…” His partner’s mouth opened slightly to speak, but Belkar slowly dipped his head forward, kissing the crook of the slender creature’s neck. A soft surprised gasp sounded in his ear and the body in his arms shivered. His partner’s scent was sticking to him, grabbing his attention, twisting him around its little non-existent finger. He gently dragged his lips up a slender neck, smirking mentally at the shivers, gasps, and moans that he elicited, and stopped at a little pointed ear, biting the lobe gently before nipping the tip.

    “Ah!” A heated body arched against his, slender arms wrapping around him. “Time is short… should be leaving …”

    “Why? Not like either of us have someplace to be.” Belkar nipped the pointy tip of the ear again, smirking when it provoked a soft moan. His partner apparently agreed because he felt elegant hands slowly go to his hips, holding him closer, and he felt the slender body move with barely concealed eagerness.

    The halfling kissed the pulse point in his partner’s neck, licking it lightly. He was rewarded with a soft cry, and he felt the slender body against his heat up slowly. He took a quick moment to note how odd the situation was. Of all people, he would have never imagined himself in bed with this one. But the person drove him crazy and maybe, just maybe, assuming he had drank enough, he would admit that he liked the slender creature for something a little more than sex. But it wasn’t like that mattered much. This was a one-night stand. It couldn’t be something else.

    Either way, Belkar didn’t need to think too much for the next hour.

    With a final cry and a few convulsions, both were thoroughly exhausted. Belkar and his partner lay back down, the slender creature putting a head just under the halfling’s chin.

    “Should leave, soon.”

    “Why?”

    Zz’dtri glanced up, fingering Belkar’s hand. “You have people to return to.”

    “Don’t you?”

    “No.”

    “Oh, right. The Linear Guild abandoned you.”

    Zz’dtri gently twisted obsidian fingers in the halfling’s chest hair, brushing soft lips against the skin very lightly. “Only expected.”

    “What do you plan to do now?”

    “Will not go back to dark elves.”

    Belkar lightly stroked the drow’s smooth skin. “Did you have trouble with them?”

    “…You can say that.” Zz’dtri glanced up, silver eyes searching the halfling’s face. “Afraid of their violence.”

    “And you slept with me?”

    That got a smile out of the drow. The smile made Belkar smile a little. Zz’dtri looked nicer with a real smile on instead of some nasty smirk when a certain high elf was about to be completely screwed over by combined dark elven racial abilities and magic (although that expression was a real turn-on too).

    “Drow calculate and reason. Killing and rape are systematic, planned, and politically motivated. Have to check drinks to make sure they are not poisoned. Have to watch both your back and your front. Cannot sleep, only trance. Trance gives one full awareness of surroundings. Rape considered sign of weakness, and commonly happens even when one is a child…” Zz’dtri trailed off, eyes glazing over for a very brief moment before snapping out of it. “Taught to trust no one. Not even family or friends can be trusted. Love and sex…” the drow tentatively stroked the halfling’s chest, avoiding looking at Belkar’s eyes, “is very different from surface-dweller’s way. Love secret and twisted in rare occurrence that it exists. Sex is dangerous and often way to dominate another person. Usually rape by any other definition.”

    The dark elf was very quiet for a moment. Zz’dtri hesitated, then slowly looked up and kissed Belkar in a sort of loving way he wasn’t quite sure he was comfortable with. Love was weird. Love was completely uncharted territory. The Belkster was perfectly happy with it staying that way.

    “If you kill me, I know it is random. Odd, but comfort is taken by that fact. Do not need to check my back or drink or make sure I trance instead of sleep. If you kill me, you will do it when I am aware and you will do it honestly and openly.” Zz’dtri looked down again, perhaps sensing the halfling’s unease with emotional closeness. “And you would accept it if I said ‘no’ to your advances. You are a murderer. Not a rapist.”

    The drow tentatively touched Belkar’s cheek. “Go to comrades. They need you.”

    “If you kill me, I know it is random. Odd, but comfort is taken by that fact. Do not need to check my back or drink or make sure I trance instead of sleep. If you kill me, you will do it when I am aware and you will do it honestly and openly.” Zz’dtri looked down again, perhaps sensing the halfling’s unease with emotional closeness. “And you would accept it if I said ‘no’ to your advances. You are a murderer. Not a rapist.”

    The drow tentatively touched Belkar’s cheek. “Go to comrades. They need you.”

    Belkar paused, then slowly got out of the bed, pulling on his pants. Mr. Scruffy, finally aroused from his sleep in the corner of the room, stood up, stretching and giving a little yawn.

    Zz’dtri watched the halfling passively, head propped up on hand, the vaguest regretful look deep in silver eyes. The blankets were loosely resting at chest level and the red band that the drow always wore was on the bedside table, winking dangerously in the scant light. Belkar didn’t like that thing. It looked like someone had gotten lots of blood, flash-froze it, and crafted it in the shape of a headband. Usually he’d like that, but it gave the uncomfortable impression that Zz’dtri was constantly dying, little by little.

    Maybe he was. He did seem a little… faint, after all.

    “Hey, what are you going to do? You don’t sound like you plan on going back to the… whatever they call the dark elf place.”

    A very slight smile played across Zz’dtri’s face. “The Underdark.” The smile disappeared. “Unsure. Perhaps… find another group. Hopefully less deceptive and disloyal as Nale’s. Try to do something good.”

    “Now you’re talking crazy.”

    “Want to shed all drow culture.”

    “Rebellion? Now you’re making sense again.” Belkar stretched and picked up his shirt. Mr. Scruffy jumped on the bed, purring softly and curling up against Zz’dtri. The dark elf slowly stroked the cat’s soft white head.

    “Violence hurt me.” The drow looked down at the cat, lightly tickling his chin. “Many different dark elf cultures. Only dominant ones are so horrible. Many dark elves want to overthrow them. Perhaps surface elves will help.”

    “You’d be hard-pressed to manage that. If the one I’m traveling with is any indication, all the surface elves are pricks.”

    Zz’dtri’s hand went up, covering black lips, and a soft low laughing sound came from the dark elf’s thin chest. Belkar smirked, putting on his shirt. “I got you to laugh. That’s an accomplishment.”

    “I like you.”

    “That’s a first.”

    Belkar picked up his cloak and put it on. “Usually, it’s the weird clingy chicks who I sleep with that think they like me.”

    “Acquired taste.”

    “Not arguing with that one.” Belkar looked down at his fully clothed self and glanced over to his naked partner. “So are you going to go to the elven homelands and try your luck with them?”

    “Diplomacy not my strong suit. Can work on it for this. Worth trying, if only for future generations.” Zz’dtri’s eyes were fixed on Belkar.

    Belkar was ready to shrug and leave as usual, likely to never see the drow again. He was ready to brush off the weird cross of one-night stand and Enemy Mine and forget Zz’dtri’s face, name, and existence. He was ready to do that.

    “After this thing’s over, maybe I’ll drop by. A dark elf in the surface elves’ homeland won’t be hard to find.” But he didn’t.

    The dark elf’s eyes flashed faintly, going white, and Zz’dtri stiffened slightly in surprise. “…I’d like that.”

    “Alright, then. If the murder rate goes up in your area, you’ll know it’s me.” Belkar stole a quick kiss. “Count on it.”

    “I’ll wait.”

    Belkar’s lips twitched a little in a half-smile. “C’mon, Scruffster.”

    The cat meowed, licked Zz’dtri’s cheek, and padded over to the halfling, leaving at the heels of his master.

    Zz’dtri stared at the door for a while, a finger lightly touching the area that the cat had licked. Slowly, two black fingers went up and touched equally black lips, capturing the remaining feeling from the kiss. “I’ll wait.”


    DoliestxDracula by doliest
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    Doliest looked around, staring at the snow covered clouds glistening in the non-existant sunlight. He stared around for a while before saying, “So there is an afterlife huh? Okay this disproves my atheism, but if there is an afterlife then how did I end up in the good place? Or was Dante right and I’m just going to slowly freeze but never die?”

    “Neither, my love!” Doliest turned around to see a pale cloaked figure walking towards him.

    “Who exactly are you, and why are you professing your love to me like this is some poorly-written fanfic?” Doliest called back, slowly backing away from an oncoming figure.

    “My name is, Dracula, and you are my one and only love. You were sentenced to the pits but I could not allow my love to rot in such a terrible place so I saved you.” The self-proclaimed Dracula said with a now obvious Hungarian accent.

    “No offense but I’m not gay, I mean at all.” Doliest replied looking around desperately for a weapon, any weapon to fight off the oncoming vampire.

    “Don’t worry my love, you shall learn.” Dracula said, now looming over Doliest face-to-face. Dracula continued to stare down at Doliest for a few more moments before bending down and biting him on the neck. Doliest struggled against the vampire, but he felt the vampire’s saliva dripping into his blood carrying with it the vampire’s curse and his power. As it continued Doliest began to lose sight of why he was struggling and even stopped and noticed that the snow made Dracula look ever so elegant. He shook his head, ’NO! I don’t like men, vampires, or Edward Cullen! I can’t go out like this!’ Doliest pushed Dracula away, stumbling for a few more steps before falling face-flat into the snow.

    His last audible words before Dracula descended on him to finish what he had started where, “So turns out Dante was wrong, Hell is actually being molested by vampires, who knew?”


    BozzokxHaley by Minion992929
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    It was only once, and it haunted her for a long time.
    She had been sitting in her room, all alone, like she had been for years. Since her father had disappeared. She'd ended things with Crystal, and was glad she had, but she had no one to talk too. She was isolated, she felt cut of from the world.

    And then he'd come, and he had been caring, and thoughtful, and seemed to actually listen to her. To care about her. He hadn't been handsome, or charming, and was far from what she'd imagined, but he'd been someone to talk to when she needed it, so she had told herself she didn't care about either. And she'd opened up to him.

    She trusted him, and he'd gone as slow as she asked, but she wanted someone to relate to, so she'd sped things up. It had cost her. But perhaps it was for the best.

    She cried a little after, and he gave her a few empty words, and she'd listened. And then she woke up, and he had gone, and half a week later she'd seen him talking to Crystal in the way he'd used to talk to her, and she'd knew.

    It had hurt more then she expected, and she'd cried a while, and then she was gone. But when she saw him again, it had hurt. More then even the icy touch of steel.


    TsukikoxFlesh Golem Roy by MReav
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    Redcloak knocked on the door to Tsukiko's room. It was important. He needed the TPS reports and Jirix had given the job to Tsukiko. Alright, it was more he won a bet with her and gave her the job. but the lack of professionalism irritated Redcloak to no small degree. He could also tell she was ignoring him. He could hear the bedsqueaking from this side of the door.

    "I don't have time for this." Redcloak says to himself, "Ethereal Jaunt!" Normally, he'd be appalled to waste a seventh level spell so frivolously, but he wasn't using it for anything else, and he had a backup anyways. "TSUKIKO! I need that damned TPS report no..."

    His eyes were greeted with Tsukiko in a french maid costume, mounting a corpse. A strangely familiar corpse, but Redcloak couldn't quite put his finger on it given all the stitches and semi-dried out nature of it. The fact that she was doing this did not surprise him... until he realized the corpse did not smell right. It wasn't... properly dead for lack of a better term.

    "Ever hear of knocking?" Tsukiko said angrily.

    "I did several times. I need that TPS report. It's already 2 hours late!" Redcloak said, trying his best to ignore both her and her bedmate's ugly human physiology. He couldn't help but notice the report was incomplete and in the living room.

    "It's been that long?" Tsukiko said, acting surprised, "Wow, I bet Xykon could never keep up with you my love! I guess I don't need to impress that old bag of bones anymore."

    Redcloak's wisdom and sense motive scores were too high to be fooled. "Look, I try not to judge. As far as I'm concerned, you being a human already makes me think too lowly about you, but this is pathetic."

    "How dare you imply our love is anything but the purest pure. Set him straight Ray!"

    "Roooooooy...." The flesh golem mumbled.

    "Whatever! Tell this nonbeliever how our love is nothing but true."

    "Loooooooove...." The flesh golem mumbled.

    "See? It's true. We love... love... Oh Ray, I love you too much to lie. I'm not over Xykon. I'm just using you to make him jealous." To Redcloak's surprise, this was the first bit of honesty out of her all night. "I mean, at first, that's all I wanted to do. Make Xykon jealous. But you've been such a great listener and this foray into artificial instead of dead has made me so excited, I think I am falling for you... but I... I want Xykon more! I know! He's totally out of my league and doesn't swing that way, but he's so powerful and I've always had a thing for older skeletons. I'm sure you'll understand Ray. It's not you, it's me. I just can't let this go on any more. I don't want to hurt you any more that I already have."

    Redcloak stood there, watching this scene unfold. He had one response. "Excuse me. I need to wash my brain out with Clorox."

    As he turned to leave, he heard a mumbling from 'Roy'.

    "T...P...S...." Standing there, was the flesh golem while Tsukiko got changed, holding out the report. Redcloak took it and with a quick look through, realized it was properly done.

    "You did this?" Redcloak asked, genuinely surprised.

    "Mrgh."

    "Thank you." Redcloak said, blushing.


    Lord ShojoxJulio Scoundrel by Minion992929
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    Atop the citadel, too old, tired men watched the city to burn.
    "What are you thinking? asked the tall one, turning to stare at his companion. He had the look of a master athlete whose bones were beginning to fail him, but his stomach was still flat as a board and heavily muscled as a man half his age.
    His face was perfect, as though someone had taken Balder's and added laughter lines and just the lurking hint of crows feet, and brushed his hair into a steel grey warriors braid and added long, luxurious, expertly waxed mustachios.
    His companion and been worn down by the years, his hair peppered with silver and iron grey, his frame stooped and his body drooping. He looked like a strong man gone to seed, his once impressive frame now drooping with age and a pot belly. There was an oddly mischievous spark in his eye, but it was muted by a sadness he seemed to wear like a shroud.
    He shrugs, his stoop disappearing for the second "Would have been, might have been, could have been." He muttered, blinking rapidly.
    "Regrets then?"
    "Never."
    They looked down again. Women and children were being put to the sword, an organized retreat had turned into a rout, and the city was lost. He had a place on his private junk, but he'd decided against it. He owed it to every one of the men who died for the city to watch their final moments.
    "We'll get through it." His companion said, taking his hand in a reassuring squeeze. Shojo looked at him pityingly, but Julio was in his element, sweeping his arm in a dramatic gesture that would have made Elan weep.
    "Hinjo will take back the city, and you'll watch him put up a sign. 'Here two old men fought their enemies to the last in high style, and here they sleep in high style.' Or something like that." He says in a rich voice that elicits a soft chuckle from Shojo. Julio always knew how to make him smile.
    "So what about you? Going to die with a clear conscious?"
    "Gods no, man. I've done some pretty bad things. Fun, but bad. Only one regret, though." He says, serious again.
    "Really?" Shojo askes, although he knew what meant. Thirty years ago. So long? It seemed like yesterday. He remembered the soft, fiery feeling of Julio's lips against his, and the sweet taste of whiskey and sugar and pine and the faintest hint of copper. He'd been hot, so hot he'd burned against Shojo's flesh, and yat he'd drank in that heat, let it consume him, fill him with it's warmth until it had stopped and left him empty. They had both said it hadn't meant anything, yet after all this time here they were, standing together, remembering that brief, shinning moment in their lives.
    Julio sighed. Suddenly he has to know. "Do you ever wish..."
    "No." Shojo lies expertly, his voice admirably steady as he returns his gaze to his city, and the people he'd sacrificed so much for, even what had perhaps been his only chance at happiness and love. Maybe the gods were cruel after all.
    "No. Me neither."


    TherklaxDiagoxLienxCrystalxThe Hydra by Moofin Bard
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    Part 1:
    It all started in a typical American high school. Correction: A typical American high school where there was a food fight earlier that day and the students caught starting the fight are now in detention. In the room was Crystal, the bad girl of the school, and her boyfriend the hydra. Also there was one of her wing women, Therkla. They were there because they started throwing food at the two teachers’ pets, Lien and Daigo. Those two were there because they threw food back. So anyway, detention has started and the teacher left the room to go smoke outside.

    Crystal: So Daigo, is Lien your new girlfriend now? I wouldn’t figure you to be the cheating type.
    Lein: Just ignore her.
    Therkla: Oooh does she fight all your battles for you?
    Hydra: *Snort*
    Daigo: Just leave us alone.
    Crystal: No…I think we’re going to break you guys.

    Crystal then takes out a knife. Lein and Daigo, being afraid for their lives, must do whatever the three tell them to. Crystal starts to undress Daigo while Therkla undresses Lein.

    Lein: Please, what are you doing?
    Thurkla: Shhhhh.

    The hydra sits in the corner of the room watching the action intently. Before long, Lein and Daigo are undressed. Crystal and Therkla start undressing each other while making out…


    SabinexVaarsuvius by waterpenguin43
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    Sabine felt incredibly lucky, the IFCC had finally given her a break from work, she had told Nale that she was on a quick business trip, which, in her mind, was technically true.
    Sure there were big lines of men waiting for succubi in the Abyss, but she was searching someone else out, at a small western continent city known as Sandsedge, she finally met the one she had been seeking out for 3 ours, Vaarsuvius the elf.
    She entered the inn that the order were sleeping in, and she shape-shifted into the form they had a conversation in, then she checked in.
    After a bit of searching through windows, she came to the door that the elf was sleeping in and knocked three times on the thick wooden door, she expected the elf at the door, but was greeted by a young woman with red hair and leather armor, a woman who she knew all too well and hated utterly, Haley Starshine. Behind Haley was that sexy elf and Elan frozen halfway between removing his white top.
    “Excuse me, may I please speak with Vaarsuvius for a moment?”
    Sabine was doing a very good job of concealing her loathing of Haley, so good in fact, that Vaarsuvius immediately seemed to remember her and came immediately.
    The elf seemed totally silent and somewhat puzzled at Sabine while they were heading to her room.
    When they returned to her room, Vaarsivius finally spoke:
    “Er, what do you have to ask, madam?
    At this point, Sabine was already removing her red leather armor.
    “Um madam, what is your intention on this fine evening” an edge of nervousness coming into the elf’s voice.
    “Oh, come here.”
    The elf did as requested, getting slightly more scared.
    When the elf got within reach, Sabine grabbed Vaarsuvius and kissed the elf.
    V got the message, and in fact, she had been so taken aback that she said:
    “Okay then.”
    Joy rushed through Sabine, finally she could do what she had wished to do for ever since they had met at Azure City. To be truthful, she still didn’t know the elf’s gender,
    but it didn’t matter, she was a shapeshifter; She could go either way.


    DurkonxLien by Minion992929
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    On New Years Eve, four hours from midnight, the three members of the Order still together made their way towards the edges of the celebration, Belkar not having bothered with his disguise despite threats of reprimands seeming particularly dejected.

    "So I'm stuck drinking with fuzzy-wuzzy and the elf?"

    "Truly it is an unknowable mystery why you are unable to attract any company or companions with such a sunny attitude and disposition."

    Belkar shrugged disinterestedly at Vaarsuvius's reply, not really listening, then continued his rant. "I mean, everywhere is free. Everywhere. Even the classy places where they weigh your wallet before they let you in. And we're going to the pub. This is a whole new low."

    "I surmise that because they are free, consumers of a more froward-thinking mindset had already set down their reservations. And since any one with any charisma has joined them we are left, as you succinctly put it, at the pub." Vaarsuvius replied, trying to needle Belkar.

    "Well, you I can understand, and the dwarf, but I'm better than this. I know I am."

    "Speak fer yeself, lad. Ah got ae date." Durkon replied plainly.

    It seemed to take a moment for Belkar to process this. He blinked a few times, and his lips moved as though he was having trouble vocalizing his thoughts.

    "Wha... Wh...how?" He chocked out at last, his eyebrow managing to rise where his hairline would be while his eyes narrowed and his head cocked, as rage, jealousy and deep confusion intermingled with disbelief. It seemed an almost impossible expression, and it's presence on Belkar's face endeared the dwarf to Vaarsuvius for all time.

    "Well," Durkon said, with an air of casualness, "Neaten yerself oop a wee bit, be polite, an' re'pec'ful, an' per'aps grow ae beard."

    Something like a quiet, drawn-out scream, escaped through Belkar's lips.

    Durkon ignored him. "Thar tha lass be noo." He said happily, and walked past the halfling to the other side of the street. A tall, attractive women was leaning casually to the corner. She was very pretty, in a lean sort of way, and was wearing a dress just a bit to low cut to be casual, showing off her natural curves. Her short blue hair in an untidy mess, and she was fidgeting slightly, as though the clothes were slightly uncomfortable, and indeed they had the sheen of brand new clothes, never before worn.

    She gave a wide, dazzling smile and waved as she saw the dwarf approach, and seemed to brighten up considerably. When he was close she bent down to kiss him, a quick, chaste kiss, if Vaarsuvius was any judge, but certainly a promising one. They started to walk off, and she laughed quietly but genuinely at something Durkon had said, her azure hair tussled slightly, their hands slipping together with an easy familiarity.

    Belkar was still frozen, his expression deepening and a faint hiss escaping his lips.

    Vaarsuvius was almost worried. "Are you well?"

    Belkar snapped out of it with a growl. "No! I've just been ditched by the solid, dependable character who is nothing but boring, to go spend time with an A-class hottie totally out of his league! Leaving me with you!"

    Vaarsuvius blinked, then shook head. "Actually... I was only coming to spend time with master Thundershield. You're not really my sort of company, I prefer intellectual types. I'll go back to the inn and trance." Vaarsuvius said to Belkar, turning on the right heel and walking away, muttering so low Belkar barely he heard, "maybe I should send to Kyrie."

    Belkar stayed still for a long time. Finally he shook his head. "Gods I hate you all."


    VaarsuviusxMother Black Dragon by Discord
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    "...Now I will kill your children."

    The color drained from Vaarsuvius' face. "No!" The elf's vain struggle against the black dragon doubled. "I will do anything!"

    The dragon smiled smugly. "Anything?

    "Yes!"

    She smirked, then dismissed the anti-magic field. "Polymorph."

    Her wings and tail decreased in size until they disappeared. So did her horns, before being swiftly replaced by long silky white hair. Long, pointed ears sprouted from the sides of her head and a thin upturned nose grew from her nostrils. Her eyes went from entirely red and glowing to white with black pupils and stunning green irises. Her scales turned into soft black skin as her body took the form of a female elf.

    Vaarsuvius stared in disbelief at the gorgeous sharp-featured drow in her pleasure suit the dragon had turned into. "Like what you see," she said sultrily as she turned round to show her body under all angles. Vaarsuvius managed to prowess to blanch and blush at the same time.

    She walked leisurely towards the the wizard, swinging her hips suggestively, until she reached the elf. She smirked as she ran a finger along her prey's chin. "Let's find out your gender, lover elf," she breathed before closing the gap between their lips...


    TsukikoxRedcloak by CheeseMuncher
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    Redcloak woke with a pounding headache and no clear memory of what had happened the previous night. There had been ale. LOTS of ale And-

    He groaned. Thinking hurt. He decided to get some coffee for his hingover, and got out of bed, nearly falling over Tsukiko.

    "What in all of the infernal planes are you in my private rooms for?" He demanded, prodding her awake.

    She yawned, and sat up, the sheet pulled up to her chin fell away revealing her nakedness. "Don't you remember, Reddy?"

    In a sudden nauseating wave, he remembered the events of the previous night. He screamed.


    BelkarxTsukiko by Lollie
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    ...Belkar grabs into the sack and throws the cat at Tsuiko.
    But instead of clawing bleeding scratches in her soft face, the cat starts to purr and licks her cheeks.
    "That wasn't what I expected...", Belkar grumbles.
    "Cute cat", whispers Tsuiko, "I have an nice idea for you."
    With the power of her Fly-Spell Tsuiko manages to escape the scene, although Belkar throuhgs both his daggers.
    "DAMN IT!", the halfing shouts an starts tracking her.
    "Belkar!", exclaims Haley, "Stay here! These wights are really tough."
    "No! I have to rescue the Scruffynator!", he answers. And probably catch a glimpse under her skirt.
    The chase ends at an old pub in a sidestreet. Belkar waits several minutes listening at the door without hearing anything significant. With an loud shout the ranger barges into the taproom.
    When he is a little bit confused. The room is filled with illuminated candles, black rose petals and grubby sewn puppets of liches, vampires and other undeads. Behind the corner stands Tsuiko. Apparently tipsy with a half empty bottle of grog.
    "What do you want?", she yells, "Why are you here?"
    "What is this?", the halfling asks and looks around.
    "Just my hang-out", she babbles, "I come here to relax from the daily work or then Redcloaky is playing the big ruler again."
    Tsuiko walks to a small filthy sofa in one of the darkest corners where Mr Scruffy already lies gentle miaowing. She sits down and starts petting the cat.
    "You don't have to stand there", she chunters and takes several sips from the bottle, "Come and join us."
    "Alright", Belkar grins, Such a naughty girl!
    Without any further invitations he takes a seat on her thighs and leans against her chest. She has the right size, my ears are warm and comfy.
    "Oh, a really wild one?", Tsuiko whispers, "I think we'll get along well with each other."
    She bends forward to kiss Belkar's temple. The small guy seems to like it, so he turns his head to kiss her.
    After a while Tsuiko whispers an offer into Belkar's ear. The halfling nods immediately looking forward to it. Then she stands up and walks upstairs to the first level.
    Hmm... time to leave. For my taste she likes the undead too much.
    So Belkar and his loyal companion Mr Scruffy vanish into thin air leaving just a piece of paper:
    "It was nice with you but the Belkstar is a lone ranger who has to push along. You know riding into the sunset and so on. I hope the 'Join the villians' deal is not off the table.
    Your sexy shoeless god of war
    PS: Thanks for wearing a short skirt while flying. You've given me a lot to think about.
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-08-14 at 03:14 PM.
    Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.

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  15. - Top - End - #315
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Mr. ScruffyxBelkar by Moofin Bard
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    Part 1:

    Belkar woke up one morning feeling strange. He couldn’t remember anything that had happened the previous night. All he did know was that he had fallen asleep naked and now he was awake…and still naked. His companion Mr. Scruffy must have heard him wake up because he was now on the bed and walking towards him. “Hello Mr. Scruffy!” Belkar said. Mr. Scruffy just meowed and started to lick Belkar in a place that he wasn’t too sure was appropriate.

    “Mr. Scruffy stop that!” he said but he really didn’t want him to. It felt so good, so right, and making him kind of aroused. Belkar leaned up on one elbow and looked at Mr. Scruffy. He seemed to be enjoying himself well enough. Belkar was supposed to be cheating at life after all. He supposed if it just happened once, it would be okay. As long as no one found out about it. But how would they? Mr. Scruffy couldn’t talk and he wasn’t about to tell anyone.

    He sat up slowly as not to disturb the still licking cat. Then he started to gently pet Mr. Scruffy’s head. Mr. Scruffy seemed to like that because he started purring while continuing to lick. Belkar didn’t exactly know how to proceed with this. Bestiality wasn’t exactly his thing. Mostly he just went for really hot women. He started to scratch Mr. Scruffy behind the ears. “It’s okay Mr. Scruffy. This is new for me too. But I’m sure we’ll both enjoy it.” Mr. Scruffy looked up at him and meowed.

    Part 2:

    Two weeks later…

    Belkar was eating a ham sandwich for lunch today. He thought back on the past couple of weeks with careful consideration. That was something really not right he had done and was continuing to do with Mr. Scruffy. It wasn’t as if anyone was going to find out. And he didn’t give a damn if they did. Well he would, only because V would call him gay for the rest of his life. Stupid elf.

    Belkar put the sandwich to his mouth to take a bite when Mr. Scruffy jumped up on the table. The whole thing shook when the feline moved. For some reason, Mr. Scruffy was starting to get really fat. He didn’t understand how that could be possible. Sure, Mr. Scruffy ate a lot of food, but he was always running around and stuff like that. He decided to ask. “Mr. Scruffy, how did you get so fat?”

    “Meow.” He replied.

    “WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I IMPREGNATED YOU? YOU’RE A BOY KITTY!”

    “Meow meow.” He argued.

    “What do you mean you’re a female? How come you didn’t tell anyone? You’re name’s MR. Scruffy.”

    “Meow.” Mr. Scruffy said and shrugged.

    “NO ONE ASKED?” Belkar was furious. The animal companion he’d had and told all his secrets to never even told him it’s gender. “Well, are they mine?”

    Mr. Scruffy gave one simple nod, jumped off the table, and walked away.


    HinjoxZz'dtri by Taekwondodo
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    “Try again!” Hinjo cried as he flicked the practice sword back to the panting wreck sprawled on the ground, “and hit me this time!”

    Rather than reaching for the sword, Hinjo’s opponent instead kneeled in front of him and bowed his head.

    “Lord, I yield. Your power and speed is too great for one such as I. My wit was slow and my tongue too quick when I insulted your leadership, please forgive me.”

    “Remember this and hold your tongue in future for next time we fight with blades of steel! Now get out of my sight.”

    His defeated opponent scurried off. His apology may have sounded sincere but in his mind this humiliation demanded only one thing, vengeance. However, he knew that he could not attack Hinjo head on; this sparring match had proved that. He needed another method...

    X x x

    “So you know what you are supposed to do?”

    “Kill Hinjo.”

    “Yes. He has just finished training so he should be in his quarters. To avoid suspicion from his guards and sneak in you should wear this maid’s outfit.”

    Zz’dtri looked at it for a moment then shrugged. As long as he was getting paid for this he would wear anything.

    x x x

    Letting himself into Hinjo’s quarters he looked around. The guards had been easily fooled by his outfit but now to the main show. Hearing water running in the other room he decided that his mark must be showering and so headed in that direction. Creeping into the bathing room, he was raising his hands in readiness to cast a spell that would turn Hinjo into a pile of dust to be washed down the drain when he saw the man he had been sent to kill. Standing under the cascade of water his body seemed to glow with the essence of masculinity. Maybe it was the outfit he was wearing but Zz’dtri had never felt this way before about anyone. he must have made some noise as Hinjo spun round startled and saw him standing there. Grabbing up his sword which was never far from his hand he knocked Zz’dtri backwards and stood over him sword raised (not a euphemism).

    “Drow! Have you come to kill me?”

    “Was, not now.”

    “Not now?” Hinjo asked confused.

    “Saw standing there, felt...things. Going to kill me?”

    Staring down at the submissive Drow in the french maid outfit Hijo felt his ardour rise. He’d always had a thing for lace.

    “Maybe there’s something else we can do.”


    XykonxMiko TheBibliophile
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    Miko was torn, kicking and screaming, from the afterlife, where she had been working in the Lawful Good Tavern of Infinite One-Night Stands, where you apparently went if you were a sexy ex-paladin. She opened her eyes to see a skull staring back at her. Immediately, she remembered it. The evil lich Xykon, the ally of the evil Greenhilt and his Order of the Stick! She leapt up from the ground and threw a punch at Xykon, crying "Smite Evil!" However, she never connected, because halfway through her leap, the lich cast Hold Person, and she fell to the ground, paralysed. She cried defiantly, "Why have you resurrected me, lich? Come to torture me for information about the Sapphire Guard? I'll tell you nothing, by the Twelve Gods! Not even if you extract my fingernails one by one with white-hot pokers!"
    "Nice idea, but no," said the lich, his expression unreadable due to his head being a skull. "No, I was bored, and I suddenly remembered you. You're a plucky little paladin, ain't you?"
    "What do you want with me, spawn of evil?"
    "That's quite simple," said Xykon, advancing towards the prone paladin. "I suddenly remembered exactly how sexy you were. I couldn't really tell before with those clothes you Sapphire Guard-types wear, but now... Miko looked down for the first time and noticed that she was wearing a sort of armoured bikini. Very impractical, her old mind thought, while another part of her that had awoken in the Tavern thought "Ooh, don't I look good". Xykon continued his advance, and suddenly Miko stopped trying to be a paladin and gave in.
    "Come here, skully-boy, show me what'cha got," she murmured seductively, pulling off Xykon's robes...


    HinjoxArgent by badam104172
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    Hinjo walked into his new quarters on the island.
    He proceeded to the small cot in the corner, sitting down and holding his head in his hands.
    He felt alone. After days of organization and building, he had discovered that he missed having a fellow paladin like Lien or O-Chul. He needed a friend... One who had been there when the city was taken and understood what he was going through.
    He pulled a small red and white sphere out of his cloak, toying with the idea... thinking... In a split second, he had made his decision. He threw the sphere onto the ground, revealing its occupant.
    "Argent..." He said with a loving caress in his voice...
    Argent growled affectionately as Hinjo pulled off his shirt, revealing his muscled chest.
    "It's good to see you, boy." he continued as he pulled the door shut...


    Flesh Golem RoyxCrystal by Forevernade
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    His rigid flesh seemed so alive under the press of my eager fingers. Although there was no pulse that coursed through him, I fancied that his veins breathed beneath my touch, that they gasped in ecstasy as I traced a path along their raised blue exquisiteness, that I had with my devout worship brought him back into the land of the living from the realm of the dead. My consciousness, waking to his cold bone, was simply another realization of his true beauty, each and every layer of his essence an addition to my vocabulary of lust.
    Had he been alive, though, I would not have been there with him. He would be gallivanting about with the devil-bitch Haley, forever out of my reach.

    I found his body among the muck and debris of Mr Grubwiggler's place just a few hours ago whilst on a protection run around the Western side of the city, and to my pleasure I was there to watch the process of Roy's re-creation. Grubwiggler's security system kicked in as the theft took place, and it was my occupation's responsibility to watch through the tapes. It was a beautiful thing. An entrancing process, Grubwiggler's fingers dancing about over his slick and oiled bone, humidity in the air and a chorus of thunder predominating the storm ahead.

    And there I was, alone in the dark castle. I straddled him, pressing my wet palms to his chest and leaned over him, gazing at his static beauty. I could wait no longer to kiss his raw, brazen teeth, which were conveniently parted in a maniacal grin as if they welcomed the warmth of my lips. His cold shocked my hot mouth and made me gasp but I did not stop. My pleasure fulfilled, my mind turned to Haley.

    I have stolen her love, and now I shall steal her life...


    Overpriced Apple GirlxThe Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! by Weimann
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    Chapter 1:

    As she entered Greysky City, she instinctively wondered what she was doing there. Already on the trail leading into town, she had seen proof of the city's debrauchery, with beggars, drunkards and women of highly negotiable affection peddling ther trade (except for the drunkards, who just slept and occationally threw bottles). Back home was a world away from this, she pondered, a watchful eye on on her surroundings as she walked up the street. Her home village, a sleepy little hamlet where the idea of breaking news was getting word that farmer Hendricsson's sow had caught syphilis, did admittedly liven up conciderably when the odd group of adventurers happened to pass by, but those cases were few and far between. This place looked like it was constantly beset by villains.

    She puffed, putting the heavy sack she was carrying down on the ground and brushing her platina blonde, shoulder length hair out of her face. Her new place should be here somewhere... because this was the main street, right? She looked around and heaved a sigh. The city was hopelessly big for a newcomer, and she was getting tired of lugging the big stupid sack around.

    "Pardon me, my lady?" She jumped at the address, her head snapping in the direction of the sound and her hiardo dislodging itself, so that she had to correct it again. When she did, her gaze landed on a male specimen. His hair was orange, short but not cropped, and looked like it had heard of the concept behind a comb but never really understood it. He was dressed in brown pants, some kind of soft boots and a black silk shirt with the first two buttons strategically undone. His face was cleanshaven and his smile was very inviting.

    "Y-yes?" she spluttered out, then quickly caught herself. The man admittedly had a definate rougish look to him that he carried very well, but, as she swiftly reminded herself, she was no scarecrow either. She wore a purple top that went well with her straight, platina blonde hair and a short black skirt that reached about halfway down her supple thighs. Convinced that she packed more than enough punch to not be intimidated by some glorified scoundrel, she tucked the loose hair neatly behind her ear and shot off an inquiring make-it-quick look. "Did you want anything?"

    "Oh, no, sorry to bother you." He rose from the wall he had been leaning on and took a few steps towards her. When he walked, she could see the shirt stretch flatly against his chest, molding it in black silk. It wasn't unpleasant at all. "I just thought you looked like you were lost. New to town?" He glanced at the sack as he asked, then shifted his gaze to her face, the smile on his lips speaking volumes about something, but she wasn't sure about exactly what.

    "Why do you ask?" She inquired, keeping her impatient, suspicious expression sculpted like stone on her face. The mysterious smile made her uncertain, but she was not about to let him see that. She took a few steps backwards as he approached, which made him stop his advancement. He sighed, shrugged and gave her an exasperated look.

    "Well, let's see. In an other city than Greysky, I could, by some stretch of the imaginiation, have noticed your bewildered look and thought that I, being a longtime resident, might know where your desired location is situated. But, seeing as this IS Greysky, I'm just a rapist like everyone else." Turning around, her tossed a hand into the air in an irritated gesture of goodbye.

    "Uh." She wasn't really sure how to reply to that. Provided her actualy was honest, he'd understandably be dissed by that. The city WAS known for it's high crime rate, so of course one would be catious, but every single individual couldn't be crooked. It just wasn't possible.

    And... that smile...

    "Wait... wait!" She called after him, making him stop on his way and throw a surprised glance over his shoulder. Picking up her sack, she walked up to him, her expression a bit softer as he turned to face her. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across so... eh, bitchy," she blubbered out. "It's just, as you said, this IS Greysky City and... ehe?" She smiled testingly.

    "Yeah, yeah, I know the deal. Sorry I snapped like that." He sighed, the corners of his mouth creeping upwards once more. "It's common sense to be on your toes 'round here. I'm used to it. So were you going anywhere? Or did I in fact bother you in vain?" he asked her in a friendly tone, the annoyance having seemingly ran off him like water off a goose. He was smiling again. She liked that.

    "Since you took the trouble, I was looking for 21 Market Square," she replied as she once again reached down to shoulder her sack. She was a second late, however, as his hand darted down, grippd it and easily tossed it over his back.

    "Really? My house is just on the way there. I'll walk you a bit of the way?" His intonation made it a question, but she already nodded in agreement, another bunch of hairstrands fluttering loose and dangling in front of her face as she smiled up at the slightly taller man. He then reached out with his free hand and brushed the wayward hair back behind her ear.

    "That's cute," he chuckled, his fingertips tracing the softness of her cheek and a soft sigh escpaing her slightly parted lips at the touch. He grinned, almost enough to produce an additional sigh, and she could feel a heat in her chest that made it a little hard to breathe properly. "Shall we?" He offered when she made no signs of moving volutarily, and once the question registered, she eagerly accepted. She got a little flustered when she realized he meant walking, but in her head, she had already made up her mind. They should.

    Chapter 2:

    On their way, he told her about what other things made Greysky famous, apart from the top record in back alley muggings for 15 years running. He did most of this talking, while she assumed the role of the attentive listener who regularly came with interested follow-up questions. The reason for this was thricefold:
    1) she really could use some info on the city, seeing as she lived there now,
    2) she was busy checking his butt out, but mostly
    3) she was hesitant to share any personal information with a guy she had met not 30 minutes ago, no matter how cute. If she wanted to make it in the big city, she would have to leave the farmer girl behind. She had a blank sheet now, and she was going to write a drastically different story here than back home. She giggled to herself when she thought about what the people back there would have said if they saw her do what she was intending to do now. Because yeah, everyone WOULD have known by tomorrow. Every. Single. One.

    "...which has a very impressive decour, I think. Oh look, here's my place." He pointed up at a building that seemed to be an apartment complex. It looked old, but relatively well kept. "Market Square is just down the road," he pointed that way instead, "for another couple of blocks, then right as you come to Sausage Lane and down that street for a few more blocks. Yeah, it's a bit to go." He turned to her. "Hey, you wouldn't want-" he began, but she interrupted him.

    "You don't think it would be okay if I came in a for a bit?" She nodded at his apartment. "It sounds like a long way to go, and my feet are kind of tired." She noticed his surprised look, then the broad grin that spread over his lips as he opened the door, made a flourishing, inviting gesture and rapidly followed her inside, the sack bobbing on his back.

    "Here we are," he called out as she passed a scruffily looking door. Putting the sack down, he fished up the keys from his pocket and unlocked. She expected a mess, but what met her was actually passable as tidy if you didn't have to high standards. "You'll have to forgive the state of the place, I so seldom get visitors," her excused himself, his back to her as he heaved the sack inside, planted it in a corner and locked the door behind them, placing the keys on a hook by the door. She stifled a giggle at the comment; yeah, a smooth talker like him was sure to be a lonely fellow. It struck her that he probably had a girlfriend or something of similar function already, and the thought wasn't pleasant. She shrugged it away, though. This couldn't be about love.

    She busied herself with looking around the apartment. It seemed to have a kitchen, a living room and a bedroom, and probably a bathroom somewhere, she concluded. He passed her as he walked into the kitchen, and she followed him, her eyes planted firmly on his butt.

    "Want something to drink?" he asked, opening the fridge. "I have beer, some cider, coffee if you want..."

    "Cider would be nice, thanks," she flashed him an appreciative smile as she recieved a glass of the golden liquid. He took a beer bottle for himself and leaned against the kitchen sink. She sat down on a chair by the table, sipping. "Oh, how divine to sit down," she sighed, even if she wasn't particularly tired. Yet.

    "It can be a long way if you aren't familiar with the streets," he commented. But my door is always open for the fair miss..." He paused. "In fact, I don't think you ever told me your name?" He lifted an eyebrow inquiringly.

    "O-Oh, sorry... I'm-" She thought desperately. She didn't really want to tell him her name. She looked around, saw a table, a fridge, the... cider. She smirked, lifting her gaze to meet his and winking alluringly. "You can call me... Apple." She took another sip.

    "Apple? That's an unusual name." He put down his bottle on the sink he was leaning against and took a few steps towards her. "I think it fits you, though." Another step. Apple swalloed her mouthful, her eyes still locked with his. She felt her heart beat faster and faster for each pace he took, her body becoming hotter and her vision rather selective.

    "Why?"

    "Because apples are beautiful... a very pretty fruit. Red, glistening... almost irresistable..." He took a last step towards her, kneeling down so that their eyes became level, and once again running his hand thought her hair. He slid it down over her cheek as before, but this time, he didn't pull away. He continued down, his fingers caressing her throat in a slow, deliberate motion that made Apple sure he was taking pleasure in feeling her increased pulse. By now, she was panting softly, her lips slightly parted and her eyes partly closed. She lifted her hands, wordlessly pressing them against his chest, feeling the toned, fit musculature beneath the teasingly unbuttoned shirt.

    "But your body belies your name, Apple..." he muttered breathily as she smoothed his hands down over her shoulders and out onto her chest. Tracing the rounding of her twins through the fabric of her top, he slid his hands under them, lifting them playfuly and feeling their weight. "These are no apples, I'd call them melons at the least..." She shot her a glance that practially burned. "Are they ripe?"

    "For the plucking..." Apple whispered, and at that, none of them wasted more time. Soon his shirt lay in a rumpled heap on the table, while her top was tossed onto a potted plant on the window sill. He had pulled her up to standing, their lips interlocked in a pssionate kiss, their tongues touching and writhing inside each other's mouths. Chests rubbing intimately together, Apple's bra pressed tightly against his sculpted torso while their hands hungrily examined the unfamiliar bodies. The room filled with sighs and wet kissing noises.

    "In one religion... consumption of apples was the casue... for the fall of man... from the grace of God," he managed to moan between her needful assaults. Not a second after he had uttered that, he yelped in surprise as she deftly put one leg in the bend of his knee, clung tightly to his strong body and lay him flat down on his back, right on the kitchen floor. "Wha-" he began, but lost his air when Apple promptly sat down on his belly.

    "Man has officially fallen," she muttered huskily, her eyes locking intently with the male specimen beneath her. "Now..." she purred, baring her teeth and letting her tongue swipe over them as she leaned forward, bringing her head to hover only a centimeter over his face, so that she could feel the warmth of his respiratory air. "...eat me."

    * * *

    Hours later, the two lay among a mess of of rumpled sheets, their legs entangled and their nude bodies wet with perspiration. Apple had her cheek pressed against his chest, his every heartbeat resonating like a smithy hammer in her head. She was content. Completely and utterly fulfilled as she lay there and felt her heart synchronize with his. And still, she knew this couldn't last. This couldn't be love, this was... something else. A farmer girl's rebellion when faced with the big city? The need for company after having just left a household of seven to live alone? Maybe it was just his damn smile, she smirked. She didn't know, but she knew it wasn't love... but right here, right now, it was easy to think it was.

    So she needed to get out.

    Raising from him, she went out to the bathroom and let the shower's water cleanse her body of sweat and other fluids. Then, having dried herself, she went around the apartment, collecting scattered pieces of clothing. At one point, she found his boxers, tossed over the back of a chair in the living room. She secretly slipped them into her pocket. As she put her hand on the door handle, he called from the bedroom.

    "Apple..." Silence.

    "We both know how it must be." Silence. She had nothing else she could say.

    "Take care, alright?" She opened the door, stepped outside and, the second before closing it, popped her head back in and called out.

    "Goodbye... stranger." Then she slammed the door and hurried down the stairs in a half-run.

    She was already in her new home, tucked down in bed and about to get some sleep, when she realized her sack had not been by his door when she left.

    Chapter 3:

    "Goodbye... stranger." Those were the last words she said before she slammed the door shut and, judging by the sound of her steps in the stairway, left the building in quite a hurry.

    "Yeah, goodbye..." he muttered to no one in particular. He remained reclined for a while, his head full of impressions. Apple, huh? A cute code name she came up with. And how very convenient, he mused as he tossed the sheets aside. He wasn't a phychologist, but he was perceptive enough to realize that she, maybe subconsciously, maybe not, wanted to protect her normal person in some way. This wasn't... whatever her name might have been, let's say Mary. Mary was a good girl who ate her vegetables and went to church. Mary would certainly never be picked up at the corner of a shady alley in a crime-ridden suburb of Hell. That was all Apple's schtick. It just made things all the easier.

    He chuckled to himself at his amateur analysis of his one-time partner, then slowly rose and sauntered over to the door to lock it after her. He might be completely wrong, of course. He didn't know her, maybe she did this kind of stuff all the time. He didn't care much, however. The important thing was that the plan had suceeded, as he noticed it had when he glanced down at the corner where he had put the sack. It wasn't there, and since she had practically ran down the stairs...

    "Come out, come out, wherever you are..." he turned around and called to the apartment in general. Within a few moments, a second character emerged from the the bedrom doorway. She was dressed in a set of underwear that clung loosely to her hips and midriff. Her red hair was made up in a ponytail that reached down between her shoulder blades, her limbs were elegant, firm and agile, and her smile was alight with an almost childlike glee.

    "Victory is ours," she giggled, putting the sack down with a dull thud and almost dancing over into his arms. Her ponytail swirled as she made a pirouette and landed in his embrace, her face still radiating with the high of sucess, but also he was pleased to notice, displaying signs of another kind of arousal. She smiled wickedly, parting her lipas and whispering hotly, "Let me taste..."

    Without speaking, he pulled her tight up against him, his hands splayed over her back and his lips meeting hers in a passionate union. He could feel her tongue wrestle his, her mouth drinking his with an unneglectable need. He closed his eyes and concentrated solely on her. Her taste. Her soft lips that needfully suckled his. Her hot, delectable skin that just begged to be methodically covered in kisses. It was love, he knew.

    "She tasted sweet," she mumbled when she finally pulled away, her cheeks quite flustered and a wet sheen still remaining on her lips.

    "She called herself Apple," he replied with a light pant on his breath. "I suppose she would be tasty. We should probably make ourselves scarce," he commented with a swift look at the door.

    "That's so unfair," she pouted, but untangled herself and went into the bedroom to get dressed. It almost hurt physically to feel her slip away, but they both knew how stupid it would be to remain on the scene of the crime for long. He went and collected his clothes, all except for...

    "Hey, have you seen my undies?" he called to her from the living room.

    "I think you tossed them over one of the chairs when you were about to stick it in her..."

    "Yeah, but they're not here now," he interjected blushingly. Had she followed them around? She really was great at hiding, wasn't she? He searched around on the floor for a bit, but was interrupted by her voice from the doorway. She had dressed in her usual, practical brown linen getup, the only admission to her beauty a low cut on the shirt, and kneehigh brown boots, and was now leaning on the doorpost, a smile on her her lips that betrayed her amusement at seing him crawl before her in the buff.

    "I wish you'd do that more," she commented with a glint in her eyes.

    "I'm happy to entertain," he replied dryly, "but there's a time and a place for that. Would you check the kitchen please?" He lifted a potted plant, just to be sure.

    "That time would be now baby..." She licked her lips in a way that, in his undressed state, had quite severe consequences. "...but yeah, the place is too hot. Legally speaking," she clearified with a wink as she left for the kitchen. He had to stand up and think about garbage disposal for a while in order to not go completely insane. Soon, he told himself. As soon as they got to their other safe house. "They aren't here either," she reported. "Just get your pants on and let's go. Saves time for me anyway."

    "I don't have any other clean ones," he called back back to her. "Just give me five minutes."

    "That's an eternity."

    "Come on in and help me then." Yeah, it was a a lot of fuss over a pair of undergarments, but he liked those shorts. They were comfy and easy to wear. Besides, Apple had seemed quite preoccupied when she left. Hopefully she'd remain so for a while longer.

    "You are such a ditz," she lamented as she came back into the living room and started the search for the wayward woolies under a heavy oaken table.

    "I was, as I bet you witnessed yourself, kind of busy. The coordinates of my clothes weren't the most pressing point of interest."

    "I bet you pressed ALL her points of interest," she replied with a sultry giggle. "So... how was she?"

    He had never really understood this kink of hers, not fully. He knew that he, himself, would go crazy if he found her in bed with someone else. She however, seemed to get a kick out of watching him. She had attested it herself, and it was she who had suggested their current modus operandi. She liked to see him tumble around with others, taste a different woman's on his lips. She had called it... spice.

    Which meant that this conversation could become dangerous. Still, he replied.

    "She was a bit better endowed than you," he replied, peeking under the carpet. "Fuller, so to speak. She was soft to hold, it felt like..." He stopped to consider. "...hot jelly to rub her." He climbed into the couch and looking behind the pillows. "She had a really strong musculature in her..." he continued, but was interrupted by a hand on his back. Startled, but not really surprised, he turned around and almost recoiled at the sight. She had removed her shirt, tossed her bra and was now towering over him with a look that was almost feral in its arousal.

    "Go on," she demanded, crawling up in the couch and slowly climbing atop him. He couldn't tear his gaze from her. She was... so beautiful.

    "She made a little squealing noise when.... mmmpph!" She silenced him with a kiss, as deep as before.

    "I can feel her on your lips still..." she whispered, her hands stroking his bare chest.

    "T-Take her away..." he panted, all thoughts about leaving, or indeed getting dressed, immediately banished. If she had a strange kink in watching him sleeping with others, he wasn't much better. There was something he loved above all else in the world, and that was to feel his own read-headed angel replace all impressions of the outside reality. Feel her smell, taste, weight, heat overwhelm him until his senses were cleansed and he could think, breathe, live only through her, his one love.

    He felt her slide over him, like the unrelenting tide she drowned him, filled his every nerve with the essence of her presence. She kissed him again, her cheeks blushing almost the same red as her hair.

    "Let's take a ten minute break," she breathed into his open mouth. He agreed.


    DurkonxLien by Minion992929
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    As everyone said their goodbyes, the two of them vanished off to one side. To find the privacy they needed. As they walked their hands slipped together, his large, rough hands enfolded her smaller, equally rough ones, scarred by practice and actual battle. Everyone was too caught up in there own moments to see them go, but to the two of them the already too small world had narrowed down to just two people.

    They walked along the shore of the island they had found themselves, and were still yet to explore. She was up to her knee's in the water, splashing around playfully, but his feet were firmly rooted on dry land. Dwarves could sink very well, but were much to solid to float, and he didn't fancy wading up to his chest just yet.

    Even so, he knew he loved the sea. The crash of the waves reminded him of her laugh, it's mysterious depths as deep as her eyes, it's rich blue the color of her hair. Beautiful, mysterious. Just like her.

    Lost in pleasant melancholy, he hadn't even heard felt her come close until he felt her sinewy arms around his thick chest. He felt the softness of her deceptively delicate face nuzzle the nape of his neck, and he sighed in a way that had several meanings all at once.

    "What are you thinking about?" She asked, her soft, husky voice quiet, and he gave a little shiver as he felt her hot breath against his cold skin.
    "Ah'm thinkin' o’ ye, lass." He replied truthfully, turning and pushing her onto her rear with a sweep of his brawny arms. She fell in an undignified heap with a little squeal that he found strangely endearing, and he smiled, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her in for a long, lingering kiss.
    Durkon's kisses were oddly gentle, neither hurried nor forceful, as though he had all the time in the world. The oddly soft hairs on her chin tickled her neck as he kissed her, the feeling surprisingly pleasant. His rich hazel eyes crinkled in pleasure, and he planted another kiss on her chin before he drew away.

    "Ah'd go with ye, if ye asked." He said, his tone earnest.

    She shook her head, her face still carefree, but stern. She was flushed slightly, he noticed, and he felt an urge to kiss her again. "Your place is with the rest of the order."

    "Ma place is with ye." He said, and she smiled but did not relent.

    "Durky, I'm a big girl. And as much as I love you, our love can't be the only thing in the world. It is because you will leave me when you have to, because you will do what is right, not what makes you happy, that I love you. You'll always be there for me, and I'll wait for you as long as it takes to save the world."

    Warmth spread in his chest at her words. Drawing her close he kissed her again, for a long time. His hands drew into her hair, scarred with practice and actual battle, letting her short, silky tresses brush against them as he deepened the kiss.

    This time, it was her who pulled away, but only for a few moments.

    "I'll miss you." She said.

    He nodded. "An' Ah'll miss ye."

    "How long do we have?"

    "He drew her close. "Long enough."

    "Give me something to remember you by."


    HilgyaxDurkon by waterpenguin43
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    Durkon stormed off to his bed, upset at Vaarsivius’s stubborn attitude. Naturally, he was beginning to be upset about other things too, with emotions welling up inside him, he had a flashback:

    Durkon sighed, letting the views of Azure city enter his saddened brain, nobody ever seemed to consider his emotions at all, however, he knew this was not for no reason;
    He had only one romantic encounter on this adventure, and nobody ever witnessed that except him and Hilgya (as far as he knew). He was starting to regret his choice, turning down Hilgyas love only due to Dwarven tradition. Who was he to say that Dwarven culture was more important than love? But then, he thought; Maybe it wasn’t too late!Maybe he could include an apology letter to Hilgya with the letter to the high priest that was about to delivered!! At that moment, Durkon ran as fast as he could with short legs and Heavy armor to Lord Shojo, eventually, he saw O-Chul, who let him in, and a tired but still cheery Shojo greeted him:
    “*Wheeze* Shojo-*Gasp* Please *Cough* send this wit’ my message? Please.”
    Lord Shojo thought about this quickly, and soon, he came to his conclusion:
    ” Very well, Durkon. I will gladly send this attached letter to the Dwarven lands with my messenger.”
    Tears of joy began welling up in Durkon’s eyes:
    “Thank ye, Lord Shojo.
    He soon returned to the inn where they were staying, it was now very late, and stars dotted the sky.


    Far later, Hilgyas letter, as well as the High priests, were abandoned by a hurrying Miko, Hilgyas read:
    Dear Durkon,
    You hurt me so much that night, you made me cry and cry. I thought I would never feel love again, but I was wrong; When you apologized to me, tears of joy came to my eyes.
    Oh Durkon, I love you, and I want to be with you forever. When you return from your mission, you can see our child, I named him Durkon too. Also, Ivan is dead, he was crushed when a tunnel collapsed on him. Durkon, I want to be with you forever.
    Love,
    Hilgya Firehelm.

    But it, along with the high priests letter, was consumed. And Durkon never saw it, so here he thought that neither had said yes, and tears trickled down his beard as he finally fell asleep.


    JirixxRedcloak by badam104172
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    Chapter 1:

    Jirix sighed. It had been a long day. After being ressurected by Redcloak that morning, or whatever time it was under that gods awful rift, he had spent hours trying to locate an object that was probably at the bottom of the ocean by then. He wondered how he could possibly have gotten into this mess... He supposed that it started when Redcloak had taken over. This was an uncommon occurance, a goblin taking over a hobgoblin tribe, but he had gotten used to it by then, as had most of the troops. He had started out as a common, low level cleric, but after the battle, he'd earned enough xp to attract the attention of Redcloak. Soon after becoming his pupil, he began to interact with his leader socially as well. Soon, Redcloak was all he thought about. Day and night, a fiery passion for his leader commanded control of his mind. But Redcloak didn't have time for anything but the gates by then. And so, Jirix had decided. He had to talk to Redcloak, tell him how he had grown to love a goblin that had once been only been a leader to him, and now was his sole reason to live.

    Chapter 2:

    Jirix ran through the hall of the dark tower, searching for Redcloak. There were only two places he could be. One, in the tactics room, where he would almost certainly be with the lich. Two, in his chambers, which were guarded by traps. Therefore, he needed a distraction. He soon reached the door. As he peered inside, he saw two figures. One was hunched over a map and had a tattered blood colored cloak. There he is! Jirix though to himself, his heart racing. The other figure was a bone white creature with an unmistakable aura of fear and necromantic humor.
    "Xykon, sir. The new shipment of acid beetle infested banana cream pies has arrived."
    "Already? Good. Redcloak, I'm going to the troop barracks. A hobgoblin scream a day keeps the negative energy spells away." The lich remarked as he strolled nonchalantly out the door, passing Jirix. Afterwords, Jirix was alone with Redcloak.
    "Sir, I have something to tell you."
    "If it doesn't have to do with the morale of the troops in barracks 17, I'm not interested."
    Jirix frowned. This was not how he imagined it would go. Perhaps he was taking the wrong approach.
    "I was wondering... If you would like to dine with me tonight. I have some questions... On the new incantations the other clerics have written."
    Redcloak turned. What in the name of the dark one is he playing at? he thought. But, all he had scheduled for that night was a few hours of meditation and hoping that life would get more interesting.
    "Very well then, Jirix. But I do expect to see an outstanding new report on the progress of the new clerics training."
    "Thank you sir."
    Redcloak said nothing, and merely returned to his charts. Meanwhile, Jirix walked out feeling considerably more hopeful than when he arrived.


    O'ChulxArchon by RPGAgmJAY
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    He awoke slowly, his eyes staying shut longer than usual to block out the bright light of his surroundings. The ground beneath him was soft and comfortable with just the right amount of give to keep him mildly unconscious by choice. With a broad yawn he stretched out his tired limbs... they still ached faintly from all these nights on the hard floo...

    THE BARS ARE GONE! It struck him immediately and he was on his feet, heading for anexit from this blasted tower. O'Chul knew he would only get one shot at this escape...

    The place where he stood was no longer the wretched tower in which Xykon had held him captive for all this time, instead the stone blocks were replaced by fluffy white clouds. The air here was clear rather than moldy and smelled faintly of lilacs, which reminded O'Chul of his younger days. The brilliant light of this place was hard to acclimate to after all of this time spent under the faint lights of the tower.

    It became clear to him what had occured. He had expired. A slight smile crossed overhis lips as he came to fully understand. He whispered to himself, "This must be..."

    "Heaven." A soft voice answered from behind him. O'Chul turned to see a faint light hovering several yards behind him. As he watched it grew vertically like a pillar and widened breifly to allow a figure to step through. It was a woman, a lady to be more specific. Her form was compact and trim beneath the light blue buisiness suit which allowed for just a hint of the girl's natural curves. Her blond hair was cut short beneath her matching garrison hat and tucked back behind her ears.

    O'Chul smiled as he knew he was about to enter paradise and receive his reward for a life lived serving the gods. This girl was cute and her swagger carried an air of confidence, matched with her smile which expressed a familiarity and genuine affection.

    O'Chul grined as she walked to him, as he let his eyes take in this heavenly beauty he asked, "Which would make you an angel?"

    The girl laughed coyly as she stood across from him and took his hand in her own. She raised his hand up and began to kiss it and answered, "You can call me that if you like..." As she game to a scar that ran across the back of his hand she let a few tears fall from her perfect almond shaped brown eyes. As the tears fell upon his hand the scar washed away like it was just a smudge on his skin. O'chul was stunned and astonished and... moved. This beautiful girl didn't know him but as she ministered to his forearm it felt like she wept over the pain he felt from each of those wounds, as if she was there... always there... for his entire life.

    By the time she had worked her way to his bicep he was overwhelmed and his heart felt like it was straining against his chest, ready to explode. Tears streamed down his face as he curled around her and he softly placed a kiss on the back of her neck. They intertwined as she worked over the rest of his body, restoring the skin and removing all sign of his struggles in the mortal realm.

    She looked up at him after she had finished, "How do you feel O'Chul?" Her eyes were still wet with tears that she slowly wiped away on a delicate napkin she retrieved from a pocket. Other than that she was perfect, not even a redness to her eyes after all of that work.

    O'Chul looked over his fresh form and smiled like a boy many years younger. "Darling, you've refreshed me to a point where I barely recognize myself..." He rotated an arm, expecting to feel like a young man again but his muscles were still sore and the socket of his shoulder still had that slight grind he began to develop a few years back. He looked away from her not wishing to offend after such a miraculous work, "Honestly... I still *feel* old on the inside."

    When he looked back to her he found her smiling with an impish grin. The way she slithered closer to him make O'Chul rigid like a board. She stated, with more than a little enthusiam, "Just wait til you see how we rejuvinate the body..." and with that she pounced on him, locking lips with the man as they both fell into the cloudy floor.

    Covered by the clouds, giggling and kissing sounds could be heard from beneath the little pile of clouds they had covered themselves with. Her hat and popped out to lay on the clouds next to them. The buisiness suit quickly followed after. Occasional suggestions from O'Chul to "slow down" or "take it easy" were met with a giggly "Don't be so stiff old man!", which would bring them both to laughter.

    After some quiet moments there was a giggle followed by a gasp. The girl's voice could quietly be heard commenting, "Well, this can stay stiff..." followed by a groan from O'Chul and once again... mixed laughter. She remarked, "Mr. Stiffly" and there was even more laughter. The two of them rolled through the clouds like youngsters used to roll in a haystack... kissing, carressing, grinding the whole way. It was better than anything O'Chul had ever imagined. Every sacrifice seemed worth it as he experienced the first of his many rewards.

    His attention was called back to the moment as the girl was envigorated with energy. She was writhing against him and whispered, "Give me Mr. Stiffly..." O'Chul perked an eyebrow and asked, "Again?" She just bit her bottom lip and nodded. To motivate him she pushed aside some of the cloud so O'Chul could enjoy a good view of her.

    O'Chul grinned broadly and said, "Here comes Mr. Stiffly!" before pouncing on her once again. She began moaning, "Oh Mr. Stiffly..." as they rolled through the clouds. At one point she began to buck and thrash against his body while crying out "Mr. Stiffly! Mr. Stiffly!", she then pulled him to her and as she quivered she screamed in his ear so loud it made him wince, "MR. STIFFLY!" but her voice seemed different this time.

    O'Chul rubbed his crusty eyes, which had a hard time opening. He wiped some drool from the corners of his mouth and looked around. Caged... back in the tower... again. O'Chul just rubbed his head as he rolled back against the bars. Monster-san was saying something about fearing that he had died in his sleep. O'Chul just shook his head and looked up through a small window high in the tower. Seeing a single cloud he smiled, "Soon darling... soon."


    RoyxXykon by TooManySecrets
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    You are the only One for Me
    Roy had gotten angry at the other members of the OOtS.

    "They just don't understand" he said to himself. "i must defeat Xykon to prove myself to my father and prouve to myself that I am a good person" So he left them.

    Roy grapsed his father's sword and held it tightly. by the sword, he would defeat Xykon forever and save the world.

    Bodly going fourth, he went into Xykon's castle in order to defeat the evil lich Xykon.

    The first obstacle he faced is a bunch of goblins. thinking swiftly, Roy defeated them with his sword.

    The second obstacle was a horde of zombies. Roy cut off all their heads, but that didn't stop them because they were zombiees. So he took off a torch off of one of the walls and put the zombies on fire. Thiey burned to ashes.

    The third obstacle was a tarrasque. Roy fought corageously but the beast was too powerful. "No" Roy thought to himself "I can not be defeated this way at least not before I defeat Xykon." With a huge roar, he leapt on the tarrasque's back and drove the sword into the glowing weakpoint in the tarrasque's forehead. The tarrasque fell to the ground and the hole room shook.

    Roy cleaned off his sword with a rag. "Youll have to do better than that, monsters. Because I am a Fighter and a Greenhilt"

    Just then, a voice came out of the darkness. "Ohoho! You have braved my minions and even defeated a dreadful tarrasque but you have yet to face me!" Out of tthe shadows walked Xykon. "Xykon! Invinsible master of death and magic! Die mortal!"

    Xykon held up his hands and shot lighting out of them at Roy just like at the end of Star Wars.

    Roy dodges well but he is too slow. He is struck by the lighting and is illectrified.

    "No I can not be defeahted in this way" he said. He grabs onto his sword and starts to slowly pull himself up even though he is being lightinged.

    "How are you able to resist my magic" asks Xykon.

    "Because I need to prove my self to my father!" answered Roy.

    Xykon stops his lightninging. He looks said.

    "I too had a father. I wanted to prove myself to him but now he is dead and I cant. All of this i did for him" Xykon looks down sadly.

    "My father too is dead." says Roy.

    Just then, Roy realizes that instead of living for his father, he should live for himself. While he might respect his father, his life is his alone. The brief stint we spend in this mortal shell is too short to waste letting others live vicariously through our experiences.

    Roy tells Xykon what he realized. "You are right" says Xykon. "I know this now. How can I ever repay you?"

    Roy puts his hand on Xykon's shoulder. "By living your life out to the fullest" he says, gazing deeply into Xykon's vacant eye holes.

    "Are you sure there isn't any other way?" Xykon says coyly.

    Roy smiles. "Maybe there is another way."

    [Five paragraphs of poorly written sex and one horrific "bone" pun removed.]

    Xykon lightly holds Roy's hand as the embrace each other on the bed.

    "You may not be a wizard" Xykon says to Roy "but that was magical". And then they both laugh.

    Just then, someone was watching from the shadows.

    "He might be yours now, but someday Xykon will be mine!" says Hinjo.
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-08-17 at 04:28 PM.
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  16. - Top - End - #316
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    VaarsuviusxZz'dtri by Zanaril
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    The six members of the Order of the Stick had been making their way through the same forest for several days, following a rough track that wound its way through the otherwise impenetrable trees. It was almost mid-day, and at its highest point the sun managed to seep through the upper canopy, casting dappled shadows across the ground, with small specks of light that danced in the dim light. Ahead of them, the dirt track widened and turned into cobbles and buildings lined the road, and here and there people were hurrying along at whatever tasks they were on. After the long stretch of wild terrain, civilization was a welcome sight.

    "About time!" Roy exclaimed, coming to a halt and wiping sweat off his brow. "Do you reckon there's a tavern here?

    "I 'ope so." Durkon said, clanking forward to stand next to Roy "I need som'thin' ta calm my nerves afta' all them trees."

    "There's bound to be an inn here, at least. I'm just looking forward to sleeping in a bed tonight!" Haley said, striding forward. The rest of them followed suit.


    A short while later and a squabble over rooms found the Order booked into an inn - with a tavern, much to Durkon's relief. Roy and the dwarf promptly dropped off any unneeded items then went to sample the local ale. Belkar followed close behind. Having spotted an archery shop on their way to the inn, Haley dragged Elan off to see if there was anything interesting. Vaarsuvius hung around for a bit to unpack, then after sorting through spell component to discern which ones needed restocking, set off in search of a magic shop.

    The shop specializing in the arcane was small but well stocked, located away from the main road. After purchasing the needed spell components, Vaarsuvius browsed through the available scrolls, paying no attention as the door opened and another customer came in.

    However when a familiar voice reached the elf's pointed ears, Vaarsuvius spun around in shock.

    "Zz'dtri?"

    The drow jumped, then a delighted smile replaced his initial look of surprise and he rushed over to embrace Vaarsuvius in a tight hug. Vaarsuvius returned the hug, also smiling widely.

    "I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon!"

    "Me neither. Do you want to..?"

    "I have a room at the local inn, if you're willing."

    Zz'dtri smiled again and nodded, so Vaarsuvius picked up the bag of newly purchased spell components in one hand, clasped the drow's hand in the other, and led him out of the shop and back into the village.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius followed Zz'dtri into the room, shutting the door behind them before putting the bag down next to the wall.

    "Missed you" Zz'dtri murmured as the other elf sat down beside him on the bed, before locking lips passionately. Still kissing, Vaarsuvius lay back, pulling Zz'dtri down on top, before moving to kiss his neck.

    "I missed your company too" Vaarsuvius said between kisses. "Where did you go after I left?"

    "Just... traveled around" He replied, arching slightly as a hand brushed against him through his robe. V's other hand had already untied the cord around his waist, and was tugging the green robe off.

    "Looked around for an adventuring party at first. Were none that wanted a wizard. Decided to see the world instead."

    "I'm glad you did." V gasped, writhing as dark skinned hands groped under red robes before pulling them off completely.

    "Hmm." Zz'dtri hummed in agreement.

    ***

    "Found anything good?" Roy asked as Haley and Elan walked into the inn's tavern with a large bag. Haley put the bag down on the bar counter and fished around before pulling out a handful of arrows.

    "Half price sale on enchanted arrows, would you believe it? I can now burn people and freeze them at once, in addition to sticking arrows in them."

    "Great. Well now you're back, we need to discuss where we're going next. Any idea where V is?"

    "Out buying spell components, I think. Should be back by now, I'll check the rooms." Haley said, retreating out of the room towards the stairs.

    She pausing outside the door before calling out "V? Are you there?" When there was no answer, she opened the door and poked her head in.

    "We're planning wh- oh my god!" She stared in shock for a moment at the entwined figures, before hurriedly slamming the door shut again and leaning against the wall.

    "Drat." V muttered scrambling up and pulling on the robes that had been lying on the floor before running out into the corridor, blushing furiously. Zz'dtri sighed, then got up and began pulling on his robes at a more leisurely pace.


    "Miss. Starshine?"

    "What the hell do you think you're doing, V?!" Haley all but shouted, rounding on the abashed elf. V tried to regain some composure.

    "I think that as obviou-"

    "You're married."

    "A fact I am well aware of."

    "You can't... you can't just go around sleeping with anyone!"

    "I assure you, its not at all like-"

    "You haven't been doing this all the time I've known you, have you? What about in Azure City, when you were supposedly busy all the time "scribing spells" - were you actually out picking up partners?"

    While Haley was ranting, Zz'dtri quietly opened the door and edged out into the corridor, unnoticed.

    "Miss. Starshine, this isn't what it looks like!"

    "Well it certainly looked like he had his-"

    "Haley! Please just listen to me! This is more than that, we've had a relationship of sorts for some time. You're over-reacting."

    "Well sorry if I'm just a bit shocked after walking in on my best friend in bed with a complete stranger... wait." She caught sight of Zz'dtri and her eyes widened.

    "...He's that drow that's working for Nale!"

    "Was working for Nale, he's not anymore."

    "Sorry V, I just... can't deal with this right now" Haley said, shaking her head and backing away towards the stairs. Vaarsuvius stared after her.

    Zz'dtri hung his head and hugged his cloak around himself, then retreated back into the room.

    "Zz'dtri?" Vaarsuvius went back into the room, to see the drow gathering up his possessions, head bent low.

    "Sorry. I'll go now." The drow said softly, not looking up.

    "What in the world are you apologizing for? If there's any blame to be laid, it lies with me for not anticipating their reactions."

    "I cause problems." Zz'dtri said, looking up sadly before rising to his feet. Vaarsuvius stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on either shoulder, looking into the other's eyes earnestly .

    "Listen to me Zz'dtri, you are not a problem and I certainly don't want you to leave." Vaarsuvius sighed. "I... I need to go and meet my party members, okay?"

    Zz'dtri nodded wordlessly, and Vaarsuvius paused for one long moment before turning away, picking up the red cloak that was in a heap on the floor before hurrying away out of the room and down the corridor.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius walked into the bar where the rest of the Order were waiting, adjusting the clasp of the hurriedly donned cloak. Durkon was sat next to Roy and Belkar had his furry feet propped up on the table, idly flicking a dagger back and forth between his fingers. Haley was already seated across the table next to Elan, pointedly looking away from the elf.

    Roy glanced between them and raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay?"

    "Yes."

    "It is."

    "Well then." He cleared his throat, pulling towards him one of the maps scattered across the table. "We're currently here" He pointed to a unremarkable place in a large area of green. "And the next nearest village is a good ten days walk away because the path winds around these mountains here" He pointed to the map again.

    "However, Haley's been asking around and there's apparently a small pass across the mountains that, as luck has it, is accessible at this time of year. If we take it we can cut our journey down to five days or less - weather permitting - and instead of going to Crag's End, we can go to Ivyleaf, which will take us on a much more direct route south."

    Vaarsuvius began to fidget.

    "Once we get there we can restock and purchase horses - the road is a lot more major after that, so it will be easier going. Assuming we make good time, we can expect to make it to the dessert in a little over a fortnight. Any questions?"

    "Maybe V can give us some advice. This is the Elven Homeland after all." Haley said, still avoiding meeting the elf's eyes.

    "Advice? Oh, well..." V paused for a moment, indecision playing across worried features. "If you asked me... I'd say we would be better off forgetting about going to Ivyleaf and making our way to Crag's End. If people don't use the pass, there's a good reason for it and it would be better we take the long route rather than taking what may be a shortcut, but may also result in us being lead astray, costing us more than the additional time that we would take going around the mountains."

    "That's your final opinion?" Roy asked uncertainly.

    "That it is."

    "Well... I suppose you know the terrain better than any of us. It's settled; we'll need to stock up on extra supplies for a longer journey, but if we push the pace, I suppose it's only five days lost." He still looked doubtful.

    "Unless anyone else has anything to say?"

    "Yes." Haley said so sharply that Elan jumped slightly. "I think we should go over the pass. It's well used at the moment, and more than one person recommended it. What's more, Ivyleaf seems to be a much busier town than Crag's Edge - the merchants I spoke to were all headed there - and that means we're much more likely to be able to get horses and any other gear we'll need further on."

    Roy looked down thoughtfully, tapping the map lightly with a calloused finger. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Haley, V. It seems a much better option." Roy then looked up, smiling.
    "Right then group, get whatever further supplies you need today, because we'll be setting off first thing tomorrow morning. And get a good night's sleep!"

    The various members of the Order got up from the table, and Haley rose quickly, making for the door. Vaarsuvius started to go after her, before realizing it was ill advised, and instead turned to head back up the stairs.

    ***

    Haley wasn't sure where she intended to go, she just wanted to go somewhere out of the way of everyone else while she worked out what she should do. She was somewhat angry and certainly disappointed at her friend, but knew that unless the elf wanted her advice, Vaarsuvius would brush of any inquiries with that formal, aloof mannerism the elf resorted to when bothered.

    But mostly, Haley was worried. She knew she had overreacted, but while Vaarsuvius had never been very forthcoming with personal information, they been friends long enough that Haley recall the V mentioning small details about the elf's family, always with a fond smile crossing thin lips. If V had spontaneously begun a new relationship, something significant had happened that Haley had missed.

    In her musings, her feet had led he to a street that she recalled having a small tavern. It would be somewhere to sit and think, and if that failed, a way to temporarily quiet her misgivings.

    She entered the tavern and crossed over to the bar. It wasn't until after she had sat down and ordered a drink that her eyes adjusted to the lower light enough for her to notice who else was there, also intent on drowning his sorrows.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius poked a head round the door.

    The room was empty.

    "Drat."

    ***

    "What are you doing here?!"

    Zz'dtri looked up from his ale and scowled. "Drinking. What are you doing?"

    "Trying to come up with a way of convincing Vaarsuvius that any relationship with you is a bad idea." Haley said glaring at him

    "Don't remember asking your opinion." He muttered, then resumed staring into his drink.

    "I'm V's friend, I'm not going to sit around and let this happen. V's married you know."

    "I know"

    "And has a loving family."

    "Had."

    "...What?" Haley stared at him.

    Zz'dtri looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't tell you?" He smirked.

    "What's happened to V's family?!"

    "If you weren't told, there was a reason. I won't say."

    Haley though over this silently for a few minutes before speaking again. "Fine then. Tell me what in the world led you to meeting again, much less not trying to kill each other."

    "Got arrested by the lawyers and put in the same cell as me. I apologized for before. We talked." He paused to take a swig of ale. "Managed to escape together and went our separate ways, until now. That's it."

    "And V confided in you about something important but didn't tell me?" Haley said incredulously.

    "Needed to tell someone, I suppose."

    "And what about you?"

    "About me?"

    "What happened to the whole 'Evil opposite' thing? Why the change of heart?"

    The drow looked away. "Was just lonely, ok? No one cared about me before. Was just shunned, assumed to be evil."

    "You're not evil?"

    "Well, not that much." He said with slight smirk.

    "Then why'd you join Nale's group?"

    He shrugged. "Only one who would hire me."

    "Oh. Still, why V?"

    "I told you. Only person in a long time who has cared about me, who will stay with me. I needed a friend."

    Haley frowned. "But you're more than a friend to V."

    He shrugged "V already had friends. Suppose I had to be something more."

    Haley was still frowning slightly. Then she sighed and stood up, leaving her drink half finished on the counter. "I think I need to talk to V." She paused, halfway to the door, and looked back. "Er... bye." She said, before continuing out into the street.


    As Haley turned onto the main road she saw a familiar red robed figure approaching. Vaarsuvius spotted Haley, and after a moments hesitation, headed towards her. Haley stopped where she was and crossed her arms as the wizard pulled to a halt in front of her, looking around nervously.

    "You're looking for Zz'dtri." she said

    "Er, I am. You know where he is?"

    "Yes, but first we're having a talk."

    For a moment V appeared to be considering running, and then asked resignedly "You want to talk right here?"

    "No. Let’s go back to the inn. I need another drink for this."

    ***

    A few minutes later and they were both seated in the tavern, Haley with a glass and V, having declined a beverage, nervously fiddling with a beer mat. Haley took a sip from her drink before addressing the elf.

    "You know I'm always here if you need somebody to talk to."

    Vaarasuvius looked uncertainly at the rogue. "What is this about?"

    "V, you didn't tell me something had happened to your family."

    Vaarsuvius paled. "You talked to Zz'dtri, he told you... what did he tell you??"

    "Nothing specific, once he found out I had no idea what he was talking about. V, this has to have been something recent, what on earth could have happened to break you and Inkyrius up?"

    "Nothing that I wish to talk about."

    "But something bad has happened."

    The elf's silence was an answer enough.

    "Fine. Maybe it is none of my business, but your relationship with Zz'dtri is, not least of all because pretty soon someone's going to notice him hanging around, and more likely than not they'll think he's still working for the Linear Guild."

    V sat still, head hung.

    "Firstly, I want to hear your side of the story, because something he said worries me."

    Vaarsuvius looked up, an eyebrow raised. "The first day we made camp after we reached the mainland I was accosted by those two lawyers and taken to a jail. I was thrown in the same cell as him, and while I was initially hostile, he admitted that his prior behavior was due to him having feelings for me. We... I was held there a few days before we managed to escape. He seemed to think that now we were free I would no longer be interested in continuing out relationship, but I convinced him otherwise before leaving to return here. I told him I loved him."

    "And do you?"

    V was taken aback. "I..."

    "More than you loved Inkyrius?"

    "I... no." V looked away again. "But Inkyrius no longer loves me."

    "And you think Zz'dtri does?"

    "I presume so, why else would he be interested in me?"

    "Maybe because you're the only person who has paid any positive attention to him, the closest thing he has to a friend. Which is all he really wants V."

    V met Haley's eyes, suddenly angry "Oh? Then why does he continue to have a romantic relationship with me?"

    "Because it's what you want, to replace Inkyrius. You're cleverer than me V, if I can see it must be obvious to you."

    "No. I love him and he returns the affection."

    "No, you just want to sleep with him and he's going along with it because it's the only way he knows to get your attention."

    At that, Varsuvius stood furiously. "You're wrong. You've got it wrong! You do not know anything about this and I don't have to listen to you!" With that the wizard stormed out of bar, small wisps of pink flame rising from clenched fists.

    Haley watched her friend go in despair, not knowing where to start beginning to repair the negative emotions that lay heavy in the air.

    She ordered another drink.

    ***

    After having taken a few steps away from the inn, Vaarsuvius stopped and sighed deeply, loosening clenched fists and raising one hand to run the fingers through purple hair. Haley was wrong. Haley had to be wrong.

    ...Right?

    The elf was no longer so certain. The main concern at the moment was finding Zz'dtri, because Vaarsuvius wouldn’t be able to bear it if he left in the meantime thinking he was unwanted. Which he well might.

    Vaarsuvius pondered where he could have gone. Back to the magic shop? He could have wandered along one of the footpaths into the surrounding forest, in which case it would be nearly impossible to find him unless he can back. Vaarsuvius looked around, at a complete loss at what to do.

    "He's in a small tavern on the third street on the right from here."

    Vaarsuvius jumped and spun around to see Haley standing there holding a half empty glass.

    "I thought you thoroughly disapproved of our relationship." The elf said coldly.

    "I do." Haley replied in a equally icy tone. "But I did say I'd tell you. And besides, if I don't you'll just run around worrying for the next few hours, and that won't help anyone." Haley turned to go back into the inn. "Just remember what I said. Don't make the wrong decision, V."

    The elf was already running off along the road.


    At the third street Vaarsuvius slowed down, looking around for the tavern. One door was open, a small sign propped up against the wall beside it. The elf went over and peered into the shade. "Zz'dtri?"

    A pair of silver eyes looked up. Their owner smiled weakly as the other elf walked over, pulled up a bar stool and sat beside him, elbows resting on the counter. Returning the smile, Vaarsuvius gently placed one hand over the one of his that wasn't clutching an empty glass. The drow's other hand then left the glass to take hold of V's, which the drow looked down at distractedly, stroking the palm with dark fingers. "Your friend came in here."

    "I know." V replied. "She didn't upset you did she?"

    Zz'dtri shook his head "I'm fine."

    Uncertain of what to say next V remained quiet, and for a few minutes they simply sat in a companionable silence, the only noise the occasional clink of glass on wood from other customers. Then unusually, Zz'dtri spoke first. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

    "Yes. Yes, I'd like that" Vaarsuvius replied, looking up to meet his eyes and smiling again. Then they stood and, still linking hands, headed out of the door.

    ***

    They had been walking for some time now, following one of the narrower trails at a casual pace, musing over various anecdotes from each of their pasts and enjoying the musky scent of the surrounding forest. They came to a small clearing, the ground covered in thin grass, and sat down to rest, leaning their backs against a tree.

    Then Vaarsuvius asked. "Do you love me?"

    Surprised at the sudden question, Zz'dtri took a moment before answering it. "I... think I do."

    "Think?"

    "Don't have much to compare with. You're only person I've known for a long time."

    "But what do you see in me? There's countless other people out there, many of whom undoubtedly are more pleasant company that myself."

    At that, Zz'dtri leaned over and snuggled into the other elf's shoulder. "I enjoy your company." he said, grinning. "I also think you're clever. But rather than thinking less intelligent people are useless, you do actually seem to care about them. Even if you find them annoying."

    "I've been exceptionally unkind to some of my allies in recent months."

    "But you try to be nice. And when you're not, you regret it afterwards."

    Vaarsuvius sighed. "Recently I think maybe I should have been trying harder. Tell me... do you think there's any long term possibility for our relationship?"

    "Don't see why not." He shrugged slightly. "True, maybe at first just needed some company. But now I certainly have strong feelings for you.
    "I also find you attractive, of course" he said, stealthily edging a hand closer.

    "And I do too, on both counts" Vaarsuvius replied. And then the elf jumped, feeling a hand stroke up one inner thigh, having worked its way into red robes.

    V turned to see him grinning once again, and smirked. "Two can play at that game" the elf said and rolled over onto his lap, catching his other hand playfully. Vaarsuvius brought the hand up and kissed it, before twisting an agile tongue between his fingers. Zz'dtri tilted his head back and moaned softly, but as if not to be outdone, he began to move his other hand again, this time upwards.

    Vaarsuvius laughed, and kissed him passionately.

    ***

    The sun was now lower in the sky, and the air was getting cooler, the shadows that stretched across the two resting figures deepening.

    "We always end up outside, don't we." Vaarsuvius remarked, playing with a strand of white hair.

    "Or in a cell." Zz'dtri replied

    "I think I'd much rather be out here."

    "No one to disturb us."

    “Haley means well. She just has trouble accepting some things are none of her business.”

    “Could be worse.” He raised his head to grin at his lover. “Could have been following us.”

    “If she was, I’m sure she left in a hurry some time ago.” V mused, before gently kissing those dark lips.

    They lay entwined for some time more, until Zz’dtri said “Should go back now.”

    “We’re going to have to explain this to them. I don’t want you getting hurt because of a misunderstanding.”

    “Think they’ll listen?”

    “If they put up with that psychotic Halfling they’ve got no grounds to reject you.” Vaarsuvius said, untangling their legs and standing up. Zz’dtri caught his robe when it was tossed towards him and pulled it on reluctantly, then went to retrieve his shoes from the other side of the clearing.

    ***

    The two elves slowed down as they approached the inn.

    “I think maybe I should speak to them first.” Vaarsuvius said uncertainly as they entered the hallway, letting go of Zz’dtri’s hand to peer through the adjacent doorway that led into the tavern. Then came the sound of footsteps on the stairs and the clank of armor, and Vaarsuvius spun around to see Roy staring in recognition at the drow, Durkon still climbing down the steps behind him.

    “What the hell!” Roy exclaimed, moving into a combat stance and reaching for his sword.

    “Sir Greenhilt, it’s-” Vaarsuvius started, but Zz’dtri had raised his hands defensively and Roy, thinking he was about to cast a spell, stepped forward and punched him squarely in the face. While Zz’dtri stumbled back clutching his nose, Roy brought his sword in front of him and advanced on the drow, raising the greatsword above his head.

    “No stop! …Fireball!” Before Roy could bring his sword down, he was struck in the side by a blistering heat and doubled over, gasping.

    “Vaarsuvius!” Haley had run out of the bar having heard the commotion, with a wide-eyed Elan following closely behind. Vaarsuvius rushed over to Zz’dtri to make sure he was okay, ignoring Haley’s shout.

    “V, you attacked Roy!”

    “Well he attacked Zz’dtri!” Vaarsuvius shot back, glaring at her.

    “What else did you think he’d do?”

    “Not sneak up behind us, for one!”

    “What is going on here?” Roy said, staring at the two elves and then at Haley. While they were arguing Durkon had moved over to him Roy and healed his burnt side, and the Fighter was now standing up straight again, sword held ready by his side.

    “V has been… what’s the phrase? Fraternizing with the Enemy.”

    “He is not the enemy any more!” V said exasperatedly.

    “But he’s part of the Linear Guild, isn’t he? Durkon, what are you doing?” The dwarf had gone over to Zz’dtri and was assessing the damage to his nose.

    “I dinne know wha’ is going on either, but ‘e’s not attackin’ us and ye did hit ‘im.”

    “Left after taken by the lawyers.” Zz’dtri said, wincing as the dwarf prodded his nose.

    “It’s not broken lad, jus’ badly swollen.”

    “But how do we know he’s not just pretending he’s not still working for Nale? He’s evil isn’t he?” Roy asked.

    Belkar chose that moment to wander into the hallway and looked around him. “What did I miss” he sniffed the air and smirked “…and who’s been getting some?”

    “I think that answers both your concerns.” Vaarsuvius said irritably.

    Roy gawped at the Halfling “…Wait, what?” Then it dawned on him and he turned to look at the two mages, who were now holding hands. “Oh.

    “Aww!” Elan piped in, earning him a sharp nudge from Haley.

    “I’m still not sure I’m happy with having him hanging around though.” Roy said.

    “Not that it matters, since we’re leaving here tomorrow.” Haley pointed out.

    “Actually” Vaarsuvius said nervously “I was wondering if he might travel with us, at least for some way of the journey.” Zz’dtri looked surprised.

    “What! You-” Haley started, but Roy cut her off.

    “That’s not a bad idea actually. We’ll be able to keep an eye on him, make sure he’s not reporting to Nale about what we’re doing.”

    “Not working for Nale.”

    “Then there’s nothing to worry about, is there?” Roy said to the drow. “Now lets get out of the hallway, it’s too cramped.” He said, making his way into the bar, Durkon following behind. Vaarsuvius and Zz’dtri started up the stairs.

    “Where do you think you’re going?” Haley asked sharply.

    “To trance. Just trance.” The elf said, both of them then disappearing up the stairs without another word.

    “What’s the matter Haley?” Elan asked confused, as they headed back into the bar.

    Haley sighed “I’ll explain later.”

    Belkar was left alone, having been ignored by everyone else. “Why does no one ever answer my questions?” he asked the empty air, before sighing and going back to his ale.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius slowly surfaced from myriad of memories to see a pair of silver eyes inches away, watching.

    “Good morning.” Zz’drti said as the other elf blinked bemusedly a few times.

    Vaarsuvius closed the small gap between them to brush the other’s lips with a light kiss. “Good morning to you, too. You were watching me?”

    “No bad memories. Not like before.” Zz’dtri said twirling a purple lock of hair between his fingers.

    A delighted smile spread across the elf’s face. “No…. I suppose they’re finally gone.” Vaarsuvius said in surprise, snuggling into the drow’s arms and hugging him closer. “You kept them away.”

    Zz’dtri sighed contentedly. “Will always keep them away.”

    “You are happy to travel with the party, aren’t you? I should have consulted you before asking.”

    “Happy to. Get to be together longer.”

    They lay there tangled together under the blankets for a few more cozy minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet of early morning. Then, stifling a yawn, Vaarsuvius sat up and stretched, before slipping out from under the covers and untangling the red robes from the pile of clothes on the floor. Zz’tri watched sleepily.

    “Er… there’s something else I forgot to mention.” The elf said, pulling on the robes.

    Zz’dtri propped himself up on one elbow, causing the blankets to slide off his chest. “Oh?”

    “Where were going next, Ivyleaf, it’s where I used to… it’s where my mate lives.”

    Zz’dtri was silent for a while, just watching as Vaarsuvius began sorting through spell components. “Will be ok.” He said eventually, expressionlessly, before finally moving to get dressed.

    ***
    Down in the tavern, Belkar was working his way through a large plate of bacon and eggs, while trying to ask Haley about their newest traveling companion.

    “So this Zeeditty guy was working for Nale but isn’t now?” the Halfling said, spewing food everywhere.

    Haley carefully edged away from him “Apparently.”

    “But Ears knows him somehow? Like knows knows? I though he was married.”

    “V is married.” Haley muttered into her coffee.

    “Wait, does this mean Vaarsuvius is a girl, or are they both-“

    “Not your business.” Zz’dtri said, walking over with a bowl of cereal, Vaarsuvius following behind him.

    They sat down next to each other at the far end of the table and started on their breakfasts. Haley raised an eyebrow. “You seem to have made it our business.” Zz’dtri ignored her pushed a few bran flakes around in his bowl.

    But Vaarsuvius replied “You’re the one who insists on getting involved.”

    “Me? I’m not the one who decided to pick up a romantic interest along the way.”

    “I am not arguing this over with you again. Besides, what is the idiot bard to you if not that?”

    Haley was getting angry now. “That’s a completely different situation and you know it. Elan’s a valuable member of our team rather than just a useless deadweight.”

    Now it was Vaarsuvius’ turn to raise an eyebrow. “Are we both referring to the same person?”

    Belkar snickered. “Ooh, burn.”

    “I can fight.” Zz’dtri said resolutely. “No scimitars anymore though.” He mused.

    “We’ll see.” Haley said.

    Before she could elaborate further, Roy approached the table and addressed the four of them. “Ok people, Durkon’s recharged his spells for today, so we’re leaving in ten minutes.” He turned to Zz’dtri “I’m somewhat surprised you didn’t make a run for it in the night, drow.”

    “Why would I?” the elf asked defensively.

    “Well, just make sure you don’t slow us down. Remember everyone, outside and ready to go in ten minutes!” he said, before walking away.

    ***

    Five of seven were waiting in the road in from of the inn, their breath misting in the early morning air. After a few more minutes, the two remaining members of the Order cane out of the inn to join them.

    “Sorry to keep you waiting guys! Haley insisted on rechecking out room incase she’d dropped any gold somewhere.” Elan said cheerfully.

    “There was a silver piece behind the wardrobe that we would have missed otherwise.” Haley said, strapping her bow across her back in easy reach. There was a collective rolling of eyes from everyone else present.

    “Well enough dawdling” Roy said, starting off down the road, everyone else falling in step behind him.

    “Onwards, to Ivyleaf!”


    RoyxElan by Tira-chan
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    It was getting late, but Roy still laid awake in bed, waiting to fall asleep. He was drifting off just as he heard a quiet voice from the bed next to his. "Roy? Can I come sleep with you?"
    He nearly fell out of bed, thankful that Belkar was snoring happily away. Elan continued blithely on, unaware of his implication. "I'm really cold, and lonely, and kind of scared of the dark. Maybe if you scooted over a bit?"
    "Sure, whatever," Roy replied, thankful for the explanation. Why was Elan so... dense... like that? And he was lonely, he hadn't been on a date for months, and - no, don't think about it like that.
    Roy squeezed over to make room for the other man. Elan was so much smaller, almost girlish, especially with those big blue eyes - no, stop doing that. Damn, this was awkward. Was he not wearing a shirt? No, he wasn't, what was he thinking, no wonder he was cold. Roy sighed aloud. This was going to be a long night.
    Elan, on the other hand, seemed as oblivious as usual. He happily snuggled into the bed, casually wrapping an arm around Roy, who was too uncomfortable to move. He tried not to think about how nice it was to have someone warm next to him, what a change it was...
    "Thanks, Roy. You're my best friend ever," Elan said happily, with a sleepy note in his voice. Luckily, he shifted as he slept, curling up into a fetal position, and after a while, Roy lifted him out of the bed, moving him back into his own. There was something so angelic about his face as he slept... But Roy turned his back on him, and slid back into his own bed, alone once more.


    DurkonxLien by Minion992929
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    Dusk came quickly this late in the season, but Lien was long abed.

    She was lucky to have her own room. Most of the crew didn't. Or even the nobles. Last time she checked, even Hinjo was bunking with the captain and first mate, though as his quarters had facilities for twelve concubines, private bathing, storage and it’s own kitchen this probably wasn't such a sacrifice.

    But Lien had put her foot down, and so had wound up with a ten foot by ten foot room in the back. It was austere, which was a polite way of saying I was empty except for her spear, a trunk containing a few changes of clothes and a bed, but at least she had some privacy when she wanted it.

    She slept in a bed. She was used to sleeping in a hammock, even on dry land, but he hated the swaying feeling, and it wasn’t fair to keep locking Elan out of his own room, so she’d pulled in a feather bed, and assembled it in her room, as the frame was too big to get through the door.

    It was comfortable, and she was slowly warming to it, but it still felt odd, and she had difficulty knowing exactly where to position herself. Everything she tried felt awkward. At the moment she was lying on her side legs curled together and her hand on his chest. It was deceptively wide, and not structured like a human one, the muscles fitting together differently. It was also covered in thick brown hair that tickled silkily when she touched him.

    He was already asleep, she noted enviously, eyes closed as though he hadn’t a care in the world, his left arm holding her close. He never had any trouble sleeping.

    She had begun to feel an ache between her legs as the afterglow faded, that was only just disappearing now. It was a good ache, she could feel his seed in her. For a moment she worried what would happen if it quickened there, but then she looked at his face, weathered and craggy, hardened over the years but surprisingly gentle and tender in repose, and she felt her worry seep away.

    He was here, and he loved her, and with him by her side, she knew they could get through anything.


    The OraclexThe Really Dangerous Trap by Hijax
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    the oracle was strolling down the dungeon corridor, thrwoing a few stones at the wall, which ended up chain reacting and killing all goblins that might have atttacked him. Until, finally, he reached his goal. a lonely door, filling the already narrow corridor up completely. He stepped a few steps back, picked up his scrolls of antilife shell, Ironguard, and resist poison, muttering:
    "Its tedious to do this every time, but you're worth it all..."


    DurkonxLien by Minion992929
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    "If you try to get on board this ship, I will gut you like a fish." She said steadily, holding the spear loosely in her hands, constantly adjusting her grip and weaving it's point in a figure-of-eight.

    The orange-skinned bastards were holding back wearily, trying to gauge her skill, but she could see them finding their courage. It wouldn't be long now before they charged. Well so be it. Let them come.

    With guttural roars that blended together to form a single sharp sound that grated on her nerves, they sprinted forward, waving their heavy broadswords above their head, notched and rusted, and covered in a thin patina of filth.

    Taking a moment to sneer at them for holding their shields at their sides where they wouldn't do any good, and their swords above their heads where they were even less use she pushed firmly of her back foot and brought the spear through the first ones larynx, then with a twist drove it through the back of his neck and into the one behind him.

    She felt their hot breath on her hands and face, and watched the light leave their eyes as they slumped, their life blood spurting through the gash she'd made and running down the haft and over her hands. Perhaps she'd even be sympathetic if she hadn't watched some of the more aggressive ones killing defenseless prisoners a while away. She'd waned to do something, anything, but there were a few hundred hobgoblins between them, and she was skilled, but not that skilled.

    As they fell, one of them dropped of the boardwalk, tangling her spear. She clutched it desperately, but the two bodies weighed far to much and their blood made her hands slippery.

    The one behind them cocked his head cockily and strutted forward, making no attempt to defend himself. She supposed he didn't see there as much point. Desperately she raised her hands, not sure exactly what she was planning to do, when a rich deep voice smote the air like thunder.

    "Thar's Lightnin'!" It roared, and there was a bright flash of light that left spots dancing before her eyes as she desperately blinked, trying to clear them.

    She made out a shinning blur before her, then shook her head, realizing who it was, and feeling her heart flutter.

    She staggered clumsily, and realized offhandedly that a bit of the lightning had burned her thigh. She knew it hurt, but in the same way she knew that the Underdark was there. You'd be mad to try and deny it, but it didn't affect her very much.

    "Joost relax, lass. Ah'll heal ye." He said kindly, his rough hands oddly gentle, and she felt a feeling of bliss as the positive energy flowed into her.

    Se wanted to embrace him, and kiss him, and tell him how worried she'd been, but she didn't. He was private and reserved, and there was no time. so instead she smiled warmly and followed him onto the ship.

    "Are ye alright, lass?" He asked once they had retrieved her spear and were safely on board.

    She smiled warmly. "I am now."


    SpongebobxJulio Scoundrel by Sequinox
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    Oh, for years they'd mocked his TV show... Called it annoying... Childish... Not fit for anyone over the age of 9... But he'd show them.

    Spongebob wanted to lash out at the rest of the world, and so he came up with the idea of doing something so utterly twisted that it would take his show off the air forever and leave only Flapjack behind...

    One day, his plan came into motion. He saw a taller, tanned man with long grey hair pulled into a ponytail... The exact type of man that mocked his show. He'd show them... "HI SQUIDWARD LET ME SERVE THAT GUY OKAY" He said, defying all rules of staying undercover in one loud question.

    "All right... I don't see why not," Squidward said monotonously.

    "HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY CRAB" Spongebob said in his inhuman voice, a large, fake smile upon his lips.

    "Hi, I'd like a table," Julio Scoundrel replied.

    "I CAN GET YOU A TABLE I'LL BE RIGHT BACK AHAHAHA"

    Spongebob seated him, and asked, "WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING TO DRINK"

    "Uh, a diet coke. I've got to be somewhere fast, so could I order now?"

    "AHAHAHAHA ORDER NOW OKAY"

    "A.... One of those burger things you guys are known for."

    "OKAY"

    Long ago, decided that it would look to everyone else that he was totally being normal, and not being weird. Being a being of total intelligence, that wouldn't be difficult.

    "HAHA SQUIDWARD I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING BAD"

    "Shut up and stop wasting my time."

    Spongebob got him a diet coke, and pulled the slim vial out of his pocket. He poured the blood-red liquid into the potion, and put on that disgusting smile.

    ---

    He'd have to move fast. Sip the coke, grab the burger off the plate, and run, before the sponge noticed he was gone.

    "HI HERE'S YOUR DRINK AND YOUR BURGER"

    Scoundrel nodded his thanks, took a sip of the drink, and watched as the sponge walked off. Suddenly he noticed the attractiveness of the lack of curves, the perfect squareness... The holes in the sponge...

    "AHAHAHAHA" Spongebob laughed.

    Soon, his plan would be in full effect.


    NalexTherkla by Somniloquist
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    There should have been a bar on this island, or at least an ice cream shop, because Nale needed to drown his sorrows. Sabine's double-dealing should not have come as such a shock - it was downright cliche for the wicked seductress to have other masters on the side, and Nale was supposed to be a genius. And all this time he believed she'd been going to the lower planes to have sex.

    With Thog occupied for the moment (gods know why he's dressed like a clown now), there was nothing to do but plan the next overcomplicated course of action. He'd managed to find the ship carrying his brother and had been following as stealthily as possible for quite some time, hoping to feed misinformation to those the Order had been asking for help, thereby lead them into a trap involving... Ah, but all that required a full team of evil counterparts. More to the point, with Sabine gone, he was stuck on the island.

    His train of thought stopped abruptly as he realized he was being watched. Had he been monologuing? Sure enough, he caught sight of a green-skinned maiden in a ninja suit out of the corner of his eye. He turned and for a long moment their eyes met, the stranger just staring as if dumbfounded...

    He looked again and she was gone. Must have been his imagination. After all, ninjas can't be seen.


    ShadowdancerxSoul Splices by MagicianMan5
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    "Well" The Shadowdancer said to himself, as he was tormented by one of the many feinds who inhabited the 6th hell, "This is what i get for letting the horny dwarf handle the explosives." It was another few weeks before the feind let him off the Spiky Table While A Comicly Oversized Football Shoe Presses Down Hard On You, and he walked around, took a Boat Ride of Torture down the river Styx, and met three different Damned Sorcerers. their names were Jephton, Haera, and Ganonron. Jephton was a master of arcane flexibility and "flexibility," if ya know what i mean. Haera was a necromancer who could end lives with a single thought, and make them a whole lot more "pleasurable," ok? Ganonron was able to teleport anywhere and conquer anything. "Anything," huh? The Shadowdancer first thought was 'i think i love these damned souls'


    Incorporeal Soon KimxMr. Scruffy by Kraggi
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    It had been a long day at work. The boss was hounding him about some new project. Mr. Scruffy just needed to numb his head before he went back to Lord Shojo. That.... man, if you could call him that, tried his patience. String this, string that, and at the end of the night, all he got as a reward was some catnip. Not that he minded the catnip; it's simply that he wasn't a kitten anymore. He was a cat, with all the desires that entails. So, I suppose, when Mr. Scruffy went into that strip club, he wasn't just looking to numb himself. In fact, he was looking for something else entirely

    And boy, did he find it.

    Straddling the pole, center stage, there was a ghostly presence. With grace that only a floating specter can achieve he was dancing around, no, dancing doesn't do it justice; he was violating the pole. His tight, translucent thong teased Mr. Scruffy. He had told himself he just went in for a drink and to relax, but Mr. Scruffy was anything but relaxed. Sweating (I DON'T CARE IF CATS SWEAT) through his fur coat, he had to lick himself to keep himself from being visibly moist. That must have caught the heavenly ghost's attention, because soon their eyes were locked. A gentle throbbing could be seen underneath Soon's thong. Licking his lips, Soon mouthed "The men's room, five minutes."


    TherklaxNalexSabine by Tira-chan
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    Chapter One:

    She had been drifting in the clouds, awaiting her judgement, when she heard it. The voice of a cleric, chanting a Resurrection. She shook her head, refusing to answer the tug on her soul, when another voice chimed in. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?" She knew that voice, and she turned suddenly, running to answer the call of what could only be her beloved.

    ***
    The Linear Guild was not having a good time of it. After escaping from prison, they had realized that they were horribly lost. All three had taken turns at trying some tracking, but they had gotten more and more off track, until at last they found themselves picking up some cleric outside of Greysky City. Nale had taken him on probation; he still hadn't given up on the "Evil Opposite" theme, but the parallel was decidedly weak. They'd set sail in the opposite direction, and washed up on some sort of orcish island that was at least a bit closer to the Western Continent, but not by much. The cleric had found the grave of what had to be a powerful warrior, based on the headstone, and Nale had "encouraged" him to resurrect it. But even that hadn't paid off: based on the body that was reforming it was just an orc chick.

    She seemed dazed at first, as she readjusted to life, and Nale noticed that she was very athletic and quite fetching. She blushed in embarrassment when she came to more fully, and the old cleric, out of pity, tossed her a robe. Nale rolled his eyes, but didn't object. The girl seemed confused, she was struggling with something.

    ***
    Therkla opened her eyes to see what had to be Elan standing over her, though it seemed that he'd grown a beard. How long had she been dead for, and where were the dwarf and the elf. "Elan," she asked, confused. "Is that you?"

    The man frowned at her. "How do you know my brother?" he ordered suspiciously.

    "Brother? You two have to be -"

    "Twins, yes, I know. Now answer my question, girl. What was your relation to him? Are you a fallen ally of some sort?" Her blush told him all he needed to know. "I see. So you're some discarded lover of his, I suppose. Hmm..." He smiled; unlike Elan's, there was an evil, though attractive, twist to it. "How would you feel about a little revenge. I am the leader of the Linear Guild" - he motioned to two others she hadn't noticed before - "and it is our mission to seek out and destroy my worthless brother and foolish allies."

    Therkla was not paying attention; her heart sank when she saw the beautiful girl who was standing behind him. There was no way she wasn't his girlfriend. She had just gone from a bad situation from a worse one. "No," she said aloud. "I can't... that would be betraying Elan." But inside, her heart rebeled at abandoning the man that looked so much like the one she loved.

    Chapter 2:

    Despite her refusal, Therkla hadn't been able to leave. For one, she didn't have anywhere to go; for another, she wasn't sure she wanted to. She knew she could never be with Nale, but she still didn't want to leave him. The other girl came over, sitting beside her. She was so gorgeous even Therkla couldn't help feeling it. Sabine smiled coyly, and stretched.

    Suddenly, she was transformed; batlike wings sprung from her back, her eyes glowed red, and she sprouted a tale. Therkla jumped. "Are you some kind of devil?" she asked nervously.

    "I'm a succubus - shapeshifter, energy drainer, and incarnation of lust," Sabine winked, and edged closer. "But that's not the point. Nale wanted me to talk to you about the team. He'd really like it if you joined."

    "But, I promised Elan... I quit evil."

    "Say what you will about it, I don't care. But, really Nale is much more of a man, don't you think? And being a member of the Linear Guild carries some... fringe benefits." She was uncomfortably close now, and Therkla felt the suggestive nudge of what could only be a forked tail. A sudden realization hit her.

    "You - you're hitting on me!"

    "Took you long enough, honey. C'mon, I'm up for anything. Nale's a great man, but sometimes, he can be such a prude..."

    "I am very sorry but I do not have such feelings towards wom-"

    "Okay, I get it. Too bad, but it's your loss." Sabine stood up, as if she was about to leave. "I mean, Nale does think you're hot, and I'm up for it. You could see your 'beloved', get a few hits against that slutty girlfriend of his... but you don't have to if you don't want to."

    She bent over, her full lips uncomfortably close to Therkla's blunt, orcish ear. "And when I say I'm a shapeshifter, I mean it. You want it - or him - I've got it. I could be anyone... even that drippy brother of Nale's." She left on that note, and Therkla was glad for it. Her agile imagination had already set to work, and she wasn't sure what to do.
    Last edited by Lira; 2009-08-23 at 01:25 AM.
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  17. - Top - End - #317
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    You're amazing.

    Here's the complete version of mine (there's another little bit at the end and the "Part 2" etc bits aren't in there).

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    Zz'dtri raised his head at the sound of a key turning in the lock, drawn out of his light trance. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t to see a familiar elf being shoved forward into the cell, the door then slammed shut once more.

    "This is the price you pay for copyright violation!" shouted a voice through the door. "Enjoy your time with a fellow plagiarist."

    "With the spoooooky drow!"

    "Quiet, Phil."

    Vaarsuvious brushed non-existent dust motes from red robes and turned to scowl unseen through the door at the two lawyers, before glancing towards the other elf.

    Zz'dtri raised an enquiring eyebrow. "You too?"

    Vaarsuvius scoffed. "They seized me and dragged me here, citing a certain 'Raistlin Majere'."

    "Who?" The drow asked from his seat on the single narrow bench in the cell.

    "I know of no such person anymore than you do." Vaarsuvius said dryly, turning away from the dark elf and walking over to the single barred window set in the stone. The elf gave the bars a tug, without much enthusiasm. They were completely solid.

    "No way out. Already looked."

    "I will make my own assessment of that, thank you" The red robed wizard replied sharply, going over to the door and peering through the small (also barred) hatch. "I take it this is an anti-magic cell...? Of course it is, since you would otherwise have wasted no time in enacting revenge for my previous victory over you."

    "Not with Nale anymore."

    "As if that makes any difference to one such as you; you went out of your way to be unfriendly even before you had revealed your true colours."

    "Sorry."

    "Excuse me?" Vaarsuvius turned to face the dark elf, raising an eyebrow in an incredulous expression. Zz'dtri shuffled over to one end of the bench, indicating for the other elf to sit down. Vaarsuvius remained standing.

    "I was mean. I'm sorry." Zz'dtri tried again, meeting untrusting eyes. Vaarsuvius paused for a moment then accepted the offered seat, leaning back against the wall and closing weary eyes.

    "And what, may I ask, has caused you to review your past behavior towards me? Why act as you did at the time?"

    "I was... nervous. You made me nervous."

    Vaarsuvius's eyes opened again "What do mean by "made you ner-" and then the elf jumped, because Zz'dtri had moved and was now sitting much, much closer, their robes only just not touching. Vaarsuvius leant away from the dark face that was looking earnestly towards the elf's own.

    "N- no! For one thing, I am already in a relationship - although it is uncertain as to whether it will... endure recent events - and for another I have no interest in pursuing romantic engagements at the current time!"

    "Sorry." The dark elf lowered his gaze to the stone floor, shoulders slumped, and for a long time neither spoke.

    Then "Just... been alone too long." he said, still not looking up. "Even before they brought me here."

    A sigh. "I, too, must apologize then - maybe I was too harsh when first adressing you." Tentatively, Vaarsuvius placed an arm lightly around the other elf's shoulders, and didn't shy away when he leant into the embrace. "And.. maybe I partly understand how you feel; it's easy to be isolated, even when surrounded by others. Especially when surrounded be others."

    “You have a family?”

    Vaarsuvius sighed. “Yes... I had a loving mate and two children.”

    Zz’dtri looked up, and was startled to see tears running silently down the elf’s face.

    “Had?”

    “T-they rejected me. I had to choose between them and what I knew I should do, and I made the right choice. But now they hate me for it.”

    Zz’dtri looked helplessly at the other elf, then did the only thing he could think of. He raised his head, and kissed Vaarsuvius. It was light, but it was purposeful.

    Vaarsuvius froze. Then slowly, unsurely, the wizard leant into the kiss, returned it.

    It was a long time before either of them pulled away.


    ***

    "I knew this would happen if we put them in the same cell." Mr. Jones muttered, staring through the hatch in the door.

    "Why, what are they doing? Can I have a look?" The other lawyer asked enthusiastically, trying to see around Mr. Jones' head.

    "They're kissing and... doing other things." He said, shutting the hatch, which resulted in a disappointed sigh from his associate.

    "What other things?"

    "I'll tell you when you're older, Phil."

    ***

    A slight breeze drifted though the barred window, catching a few strands of white hair. The elf shivered slightly, snuggling further into the arms of the warm being who lay next to him; a slight smile crossed dark lips, their owner deep in pleasant memories. The other elf, however, was not so restful. Features twisted into a frown, unpleasant memories crossing unbidden behind closed eyes. Finally, these dark spectres of the past became to much and with a gasp Vaarsuvius jerked awake and sat up, breathing heavily.

    Zz'dtri opened bleary eyes. "Again?"

    Vaarsuvius nodded, then shivered and replaced the dislodged cloak around bare shoulders; under the makeshift blanket of cloaks and robes they were both naked. The dark elf sat up too, stifling a yawn, then wrapped his arms protectively around the other's shoulders.

    "Too many things I can't forget." Vaarsuvius sighed, leaning back and closing tired eyes. "I though it was bad before, when all I could focus on was how my magic had failed... how I'd failed. But now -" The elf trailed off, holding back a sob. Zz'dtri raised a hand, and gently touched the other's face.
    "Now all I can remember of is the fear in their eyes."

    "They'd forgive you if they understood." He muttered, replacing the hand with lips.

    "But I don't think they would." Vaarsuvius sighed again. "I made the decision to leave them long, long ago, even if I didn't realize at the time. I traded their love for my thirst for the arcane, then when I though I had finally proved my power, I expected it to be enough to replace actual devotion to my family." A slight, sad laugh "I abandon one thing for another all too readily, then expect forgiveness when it fails me. Look where I am now!"

    Zz'dtri paused in the process of gently nibbling a pointed ear, then shrugged when Vaarsuvius made no indication to stop. Dark hands left their place around the other's shoulders to stroke down thin sides.

    "I can't stay here, there's too many people who - who are depending on me, and not - ah!- not just my family." V turned a purple haired head towards Z'zdtri - tangled strands almost lilac in the low light - and buried a pained face in the side of his neck as his hands continued to move lower.

    "Otherwise, I don't think the memories will ever go away." V murmured, twisting around to return the now fervent ministrations by locking lips.

    "Don't have to trance." Zz'dtri said, pulling away momentarily "Just.. don't think."
    For the rest of the night the only sounds in the dark were the soft rustle of cloth and, occasionally, a soft sigh.

    ***

    "Hey elveses! Breakfast time!" Phil chirped, knocking on the door with his free hand. He paused, then frowned in confusion when there was silence from within the cell. "Elveses?" He queried again, looking worriedly through the door hatch at the apparently empty cell.

    "Aww, please don't have escaped, Mr. Jones will be really angry at me!" He hurriedly put the tray down and unlocked the cell door, fumbling with the keys in his haste.

    Panicking, he poked his head round the door "Hello? Are you in h- oof!" and was knocked onto the floor by Zz'dtri fist, both elves having been standing against the wall out of sight. Quickly, they dragged the unfortunate lawyer completely into the cell.

    "Let me go!" Phil began struggling, prompting Varsuvius to sit on him while Zz'dtri tied his hands and feet tightly with strips of cloth torn from their cloaks. "I'm gonna tell!" The trussed up lawyer started whinging.

    "Gag?" Zz'dtri queried, clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, but Vaarsuvius indicated for him to step away and knelt down in front of the lawyer.

    "Where are our spell books?" The red robed Elf asked.

    "Not telling! Mr. Jones would get really, really mad at me!"

    "We won't inform him that you told us of their location. However if you don't, we will get mad at you." Phil glanced between the two of them. They met his gaze with cold eyes.

    "They're in his the office on the next floor. But no-one else is allowed in there!"

    "We'll take that chance." Vaarsuvius stood, picking up the dropped ring of keys. Both elves then walked out of the cell, shutting the door behind them. A key scraped in the lock.

    "I recommend you remain quiet, otherwise your associate will discover our absence." Varsuvius shouted back as the two hurried away.

    "Hey! Don't leave me alone in here! It's scary."

    ***

    The rough stone corridor led them to a stairway, which led up to another corridor, but this one with a faded carpet covering the floor. Each elf went over to once side and began checking for one that looked like an office. The third one Vaarsuvius came across lacked a window hatch, so the elf cautiously opened the door a crack, peered in, then let out a sigh when it became apparent the room was empty and opened the door fully. Zz'dtri hurried over.

    "Just cells on that side."

    "This must be where he meant. We must depart here as soon as we are able, so begin searching the far side of the room while I look over here." With that, Vaarsuvius headed over to the large desk and, after a distasteful look at the anachronistic computer, began rummaging through the draws.

    Zz'dtri started opening the metal cabinets along the opposite wall. The first few were full of files, but then he can across one which was locked.

    "Keys! Any keys?"

    Vaarsuvius looked around, then, spotting a small set of keys that had been dislodged in searching, tossed them over. Zz'dtri quickly ran through them until he found one that fit. He pulled it open to see a jumble of assorted items - and their spell books.

    "Yes! Here!" He exclaimed grabbing the books as Vaarsuvius hurried over, then passing the other elf the unfamiliar one. He was gathering up the few scrolls that were also there, when suddenly an earsplitting siren started, startling both of them.

    "Damnation! They must have discovered that idiot in the cell!" Vaarsuvius shouted over the noise, standing up and hurrying to the door. Zz'dtri scooped up the scrolls and quickly followed. Footfall could be heard in the distance, coming closer every second.

    V grabbed a few of the scrolls and began flicking through them. "There has to be one here..."

    ***

    Mr. Jones stood in the cell doorway and looked down disapprovingly at his associate "You had better hope we catch them, otherwise there'll be no TV time for a month."

    "Aww, no fair!" The still tied up lawyer moaned.

    Mr. Jones was about to reply when a guard jogged up to the cell. "Sir, I'm sorry to say we've searched the whole building. We're pretty confident they have left the site."

    Mr. Jones scowled. "You had the mages use See Invisibility? They managed to access the scrolls before anyone sounded the alarm."

    "Yes sir. They found nothing."

    "Fine. Have the trackers search the surrounding area in case they left any tracks, but if nothing turns up by tomorrow we'll have to call it off since they'll have their spells back and they could be anywhere by then."

    The guard saluted and left. Mr. Jones turned back towards the cell. "Your TV time is officially forfeit. And you can sleep in there tonight." With that, he turned sharply and exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

    ***

    Some time later and several miles away - the invisibility spell having long worn off - the two wizards finally stopped in a small clearing. The jailhouse having disappeared over the horizon and the surrounding woods enclosing the small area, they finally felt that they could afford to rest. They lay back on the mossy ground, breathing in the quickly cooling air as the long shadows of evening deepened. Finally, it was Zz'dtri who broke the peaceful silence.

    "And now you'll leave me."

    Vaarsuvius look up and saw the dark elf sitting with his knees drawn up to his chin, face tilted upwards watching the first few stars begin to appear. The look on his face was that of heartbreak, and of long, endless loneliness.

    "I wont leave you." Vaarsuvius replied, getting up and going over to sit beside the drow, not quite touching him.

    "Will. Everyone does. Only bothered before because you couldn't leave."

    "That’s not at all true. I do care about you, even if such feeling have only arisen in the past few days."

    "But you will leave."

    Vaarsuvius was about to protest this, but Zz'dtri pressed on, unusually vocal.

    "You can't stay because there are people elsewhere who need you more than I do."

    For once, Vaarsuvius was lost for words. After a few moments, the elf put a gentle hand under the drow's chin, causing him to turn to face the other elf, and said the only obvious thing to say.

    "I love you."

    Then to silence any further argument, Vaarsuvius kissed the surprised elf hard. After a moment's pause he returned the kiss, matching its initial intensity as their tongues met.

    Slender hands pawed at robe ties, and Zz'dtri pulled Vaarsuvius towards him, arching and gasping as the kisses moved from his mouth along his jaw. Having finally managed to untie the fastenings, Vaarsuvius pulled the robes off of his thin shoulders, hands wandering fleetingly up and down his back, fingers flexing and grasping as red robes were discarded in a similar fashion.

    Neither spoke, as nothing more that needed to be said could be done so with words.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius closed the leather-bound book as the morning sun touched it's cover. Standing up, the elf checked that any spell components were within easy reach before going to stand next to Zz'dtri, who was doing the same.

    "So, this is goodbye."

    "Yes." the drow replied emotionlessly.

    "For now." Vaarsuvius added with a smile, "And in future, who knows."

    A rare smile touched Zz'dtri's lips. "I can wait." he said.

    They kissed a final time, and then without another word, Vaarsuvius cast a Fly spell, rising effortlessly over the trees and up into the sky. Zz'dtri watched until the red speck was invisible even to his keen eyes.

    He looked down, still smiling. "I can wait."

    Without backwards glance he set off through the trees in the opposite direction. He had his own life to live.

    And he could live it too, as long as he knew that somewhere, however distant, was someone who cared.


    Anyone wanna spell check it, or suggest a title?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-13 at 04:52 AM.
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  18. - Top - End - #318
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    Title? How about "Zanaril's a better writer than Discord?"

    Cutest story I ever read.

    Typos... "Elvses" and "moring sun".
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  19. - Top - End - #319
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    Thanks.

    "Elveses" isn't a typo, it's Phil being Phil. Unless you think it doesn't fit.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 04:14 PM.
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  20. - Top - End - #320
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    I mentioned it because it was spelled Elveses just before, so I didn't know whether it was a typo or Phil purposely changing the word because he is, well, Phil.

    There's, of course, one setback to Zz'dtri and V escaping on their own. We can't have Haley sneak into the prison to free V only to walk in on hot elven action.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  21. - Top - End - #321
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    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    I mentioned it because it was spelled Elveses just before, so I didn't know whether it was a typo or Phil purposely changing the word because he is, well, Phil.

    There's, of course, one setback to Zz'dtri and V escaping on their own. We can't have Haley sneak into the prison to free V only to walk in on hot elven action.
    Ah right, I'll fix that.

    And I'm sure I can write a short bit about them meeting again later and Haley walking in on them. And I'll try to make it humourous.

    Why do I love this pairing so much?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 05:26 PM.
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  22. - Top - End - #322
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Because you and I, we're clones. May I direct you to this page? Heh heh heh...
    Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
    Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
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    Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.

  23. - Top - End - #323
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBibliophile View Post
    Because you and I, we're clones. May I direct you to this page? Heh heh heh...
    Er... eww?

    Anyway, I'm drawing a blank about how Haley would react long-term to walking in on V and Z going at it. (Short term reactions are easy: "")

    Especially with Zz'dtri being ex-Linear Guild.

    On one hand, I can't see Haley knowing about V having an affair and not trying to do something about it, but on the other hand Haley respects V and knows the squishy elf wizard likes his or her privacy, and so would be reluctant to get involved.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-08 at 05:46 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #324
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    Wow, I can really write badly, can't I? Still, some of those had serious potential...
    In recognition of the proposed story between Haley and Bozzok...

    If you think Haley is out of character, YOUR RIGHT! But you will notice she does seem to have difficulty opening up, and this is as good a reason as any.
    Wangsty rather then crack, as any attempt to write an actual lime will be even more stilted and unrealistic.
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    It was only once, and it haunted her for a long time.
    She had been sitting in her room, all alone, like she had been for years. Since her father had disappeared. She'd ended things with Crystal, and was glad she had, but she had no one to talk too. She was isolated, she felt cut of from the world.

    And then he'd come, and he had been caring, and thoughtful, and seemed to actually listen to her. To care about her. He hadn't been handsome, or charming, and was far from what she'd imagined, but he'd been someone to talk to when she needed it, so she had told herself she didn't care about either. And she'd opened up to him.

    She trusted him, and he'd gone as slow as she asked, but she wanted someone to relate to, so she'd sped things up. It had cost her. But perhaps it was for the best.

    She cried a little after, and he gave her a few empty words, and she'd listened. And then she woke up, and he had gone, and half a week later she'd seen him talking to Crystal in the way he'd used to talk to her, and she'd knew.

    It had hurt more then she expected, and she'd cried a while, and then she was gone. But when she saw him again, it had hurt. More then even the icy touch of steel.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
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  25. - Top - End - #325
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Depending on when it's set, I don't think angsty is necessarily out of character for Haley - look at how she was when she couldn't talk.

    That was great.
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  26. - Top - End - #326
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    I agree; it was great and angst is in character for Haley.

    As well as for V, now that I think about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Anyway, I'm drawing a blank about how Haley would react long-term to walking in on V and Z going at it. (Short term reactions are easy: "")

    Especially with Zz'dtri being ex-Linear Guild.

    On one hand, I can't see Haley knowing about V having an affair and not trying to do something about it, but on the other hand Haley respects V and knows the squishy elf wizard likes his or her privacy, and so would be reluctant to get involved.
    : Damn it V! We'd agreed that the drow was mine! MINE!

    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  27. - Top - End - #327
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    TheBibliophile's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Write that story!

    Since I've got writer's block on my sci-fi story at the moment, I might write you a pairing.
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  28. - Top - End - #328
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Ok, here's the start!
    Spoiler
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    The six members of the Order of the Stick had been making their way through the same forest for several days, following a rough track that wound it's way through the otherwise impenetrable trees. It was almost mid-day, and at it's highest point the sun managed to seep through the upper canopy, casting dappled shadows across the ground, with small specks of light that danced in the dim light. Ahead of them, the dirt track widened and turned into cobbles and buildings lined the road, and here and there people were hurrying along at whatever tasks they were on. After the long stretch of wild terrain, civilization was a welcome sight.

    "About time!" Roy exclaimed, coming to a halt and wiping sweat off his brow. "Do you reckon there's a tavern here?

    "I 'ope so." Durkon said, clanking forward to stand next to Roy "I need som'thin' ta calm my nerves afta' all o' them trees."

    "There's bound to be an inn here, at least. I'm just looking forward to sleeping in a bed tonight!" Haley said, striding forward. The rest of them followed suit.


    A short while later and a squabble over rooms found the Order booked into an inn - with a tavern, much to Durkon's relief. Roy and the dwarf promptly dropped off any unneeded items then went to sample the local ale. Belkar followed close behind. Having spotted an archery shop on their way to the inn, Haley dragged Elan off to see if there was anything interesting. Vaarsuvius hung around for a bit to unpack, then after sorting through spell component to discern which ones needed restocking, set off in search of a magic shop.

    The shop specializing in the arcane was small but well stocked, located away from the main road. After purchasing the needed spell components, Vaarsuvius browsed through the avalable scrolls, paying no attention as the door opened and another customer came in.

    However when a familiar voice reached the elf's pointed ears, Vaarsuvius spun around in shock.

    "Zz'dtri?"

    The drow jumped, then a delighted smile replaced his initial look of surprise and he rushed over to embrace Vaarsuvius in a tight hug. Vaarsuvius returned the hug, also smiling widely.

    "I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon!"

    "Me neither. Do you want to..?"

    "I have a room at the local inn, if you're willing."

    Zz'dtri smiled again and nodded, so Vaarsuvius picked up the bag of newly purchased spell components in one hand, clasped the drow's hand in the other, and led him out of the shop and back into the village.

    ***

    Vaarsuvius followed Zz'dtri into the room, shutting the door behind them before putting the bag down next to the wall.

    "Missed you" Zz'dtri murmured as the other elf sat down beside him on the bed, before locking lips passionately. Still kissing, Vaarsuvius lay back, pulling Zz'dtri down on top, before moving to kiss his neck.

    "I missed your company too" Vaarsuvius said between kisses. "Where did you go after I left".

    "Just... traveled around" He replied, arching slightly as a hand brushed against him through his robe. V's other hand had already untied the cord around his waist, and was tugging the green robe off.

    "Looked around for an adventuring party at first. Were none that wanted a wizard. Decided to see the world instead."

    "I'm glad you did." V gasped, writhing as dark skinned hands groped under red robes before pulling them off completely.

    "Hmm." Zz'dtri hummed in agreement.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-09 at 06:16 PM.
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  29. - Top - End - #329
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Very nice.

    I wonder what Zz'dtri's familiar is. Blackwing must feel so lonely, always forgotten by his master...

    I think you made a typo; "Roy and the dwarf promptly dropped off any uneeded items then when to sample the local ale." Shouldn't it be went?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  30. - Top - End - #330
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I'm not finished yet!

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    I think you made a typo; "Roy and the dwarf promptly dropped off any uneeded items then when to sample the local ale." Shouldn't it be went?
    Yea it should be. *fixes typo*

    And I'm not writing something about their familiars; just the fact that Blackwing is technically there watching is bad enough.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-09 at 03:23 PM.
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