Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[Conuly]

You know, this has been a rather common reaction to Water-smurf's work. Several people have been coaxed into the thread/out of hiding (*cough*) by her writing.

That's because it's awesome. I, for one, can't wait until she's writing original novels. (Or whatever the heck else she cares to write and publish, I'm there with my wallet open, first in line.)

[Sereg]

*Peeps in cautiously*

Alright, we’re not dead yet. Hopefully, that means things have settled down a little.

@Coffee Congratulations on the Physics.

Please let this be ok, please let this be ok, please let this be ok…

Alright, my promised Gender-switched Hieronymus Grubwiggler x The Eye of Fear and Flame because if they don’t, they’ll die/get unmade” fic:

Spoiler

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“Yes, Giro, I’ve done it!” yelled Hieronymus Grubwiggler triumphantly, “I have developed a new method of changing gender using the body-parts of corpses!” she looked down at her new body and smiled. A real mad-scientist always tests on himself, or herself now. Before she could do any celebrating, however, Belkar Bitterleaf suddenly dropped on her. “You!” cried Hieronymus.
“Yes,” smiled Belkar, “I’m back baby!” and he pulled out his daggers and pressed one to her throat. “Please,” begged Hieronymus, “don’t kill me. I’ll do anything!”
“Hmmm,” thought Belkar, “that reminds me of someone. That gives me an idea!” He pulled out a skull and said, “I want you to make out with this skull for my entertainment.”

Wow, being the first to post a fic after being told-off makes one really nervous.

Also, I’ve been thinking: What if Tsukiko got hold of a scroll of “Desirable to undead”? I mean, she’d certainly want one.

[Devixer]

Sereg: Short and sweet. Once again, good job. And I'm not entirely sure if Tsukiko would think she needs that particular... never mind.

Oh, if anyone wants to see my latest fic, let ne know and I'll e-mail it to you.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Fun fic, Sereg, though I prefer longer, most of the time. A bit more description would IMHO really help with the pacing.

Also, is the Giant just screwing with us? We have yet another character Bisexual in-canon. I mean, really. It's not like we need the help pairing everyone/everyone.

[Saeyan]

*raises hand* I was shoved into the public light of this thread by Water-smurf.

And I by Zanaril!

someone about GMT+2

+8 here...which translates to like 2am for everyone else most of the time.

[Nathander]

Oh, I just got a good one:

The Order Of The Stick decides to play FATAL. (And I will keep it all as clean as I can.)

A fanfic of anyone playing FATAL and keeping it relatively clean will more or less be proof that their are forces out there that we can't comprehend.

Heh, nice fic by the way, Sereg.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Oh, I just got a good one:

The Order Of The Stick decides to play FATAL. (And I will keep it all as clean as I can.)

Coffee, I would recomend against this. I've seen threads locked for mentioning the Devil-in-Game-Form, let alone discussing the Worst RPG Ever(yes, it is even worse than that). Especially given recent events, I'd avoid a fanfic involving The Reason I Have No Eyes. That Gorram Terrible...Thing is just that evil.

[Nathander]

Sstoopidtallkid, I just now noticed you're in Texas also. That is awesome.

That is all.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Sstoopidtallkid, I just now noticed you're in Texas also. That is awesome.

That is all.

I hadn't updated my location when I moved back. It still read "Damn Yankeeland" until I grabbed my new avatar. I'm not exactly observant.

[Nathander]

Man, don't talk to me about Yankeeland. I will go there no more forever.

[The Dark Fiddler]

FATAL....clean

...I don't know if that's possible. FATAL is riddled with tons of stuff that would get any thread locked in an instant.

Also, is the Giant just screwing with us? We have yet another character Bisexual in-canon. I mean, really. It's not like we need the help pairing everyone/everyone.

"You people and your quaint little categories."
— Captain Jack Harkness

[CoffeeIncluded]

Man, don't talk to me about Yankeeland. I will go there no more forever.

Hey, I live in Yankeeland!

...I don't know if that's possible. FATAL is riddled with tons of stuff that would get any thread locked in an instant.

Bet you ten dollars I can.

[The Succubus]

I shall no doubt regret asking this, especially once a link is helpfully provided.....but what is FATAL?

[Closak]

Gonna have to agree with the above question.

I'm only familiar with D&D (Specifically 3'td edition)
Never heard of FATAL or why it's so bad.

[Sereg]

Yeah, sorry about that. I normally find short easier and I wanted to get this one out there. “Allegiance” just kind of spiraled and I went with it.

Thanks to those who like my fics though, I really appreciate the compliments.

@Dark Apprentice While I’m sure I’d enjoy your latest fic, PM’s have the same restrictions as threads, so it’s probably not going to help.

Maybe it’s all an elaborate plot to give us enough rope to hang ourselves with and maybe…/conspiracy theory

In all seriousness, it’s possible that he’s decided that it would be funny after seeing this thread (which so far it has been), but he could have planned it that way all along.

@Saeyan Yeah, that is also an awkward time zone, but I still think that living in the Southern Hemisphere in Africa makes me the most isolated.

@MasamuneSSX I have never seen FATAL with my own eyes, but here’s the TV Tropes article …er yeah, I don’t think I can discuss that abomination cleanly. Incidentally, I’ve been wondering where you got that quote from (As in the thread, I can see it’s by Starscream)

Alright I rolled:

Lizardfolk x Durkon while under the effects of Thor’s might spell gone wrong (I can’t believe I got this plot device again so soon)

Ok, I have an idea for this. It involves a REALLY bad pun. It will be difficult for me to pull off but I’ll try.

Also, I think one of us should do Tsukiko’s encounter with the Crypt Thing described in today’s comic (700 future readers). I have a couple of ideas, but I only know Crypt Thing stats from 2nd ed. And I don’t know if anything significant has changed. I’ll do it if no-one else wants to.

Finally, as I hinted earlier, I may do a sequel of my Belkar x ghouls fic where Tsukiko gets a hold of a scroll of “Desirable to undead”.

Come on people, I’m carrying the team here, give me more “Dumped on the Rooster”, “It all Started with a Kiss”, “Oots jr.”, anything, pretty please.

EDIT: Ah, Google has provided me with the quotes scource.

[The Odor]

Come on people, I’m carrying the team here, give me more “Dumped on the Rooster”, “It all Started with a Kiss”, “Oots jr.”, anything, pretty please.

I also need this.

[Closak]

...Okay...

I see now why people react to it the way they do.

My reaction: GAH MY EYES! IT'S LIKE TWILIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN! BUT WORSE!

*Hides at the bottom of a lake*

[The Odor]

...Okay...

I see now why people react to it the way they do.

My reaction: GAH MY EYES! IT'S LIKE TWILIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN! BUT WORSE!

*Hides at the bottom of a lake*

If your talking about FATAL while I read it I listened to this.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Bet you ten dollars I can.

Won't take that bet(here). If you want to do it, add it to the FF.net group. I wasn't joking about seeing threads locked for discussing FATAL.

[MReav]

Playing FATAL is something Redcloak would try to break O-Chul with.

[Mystic Muse]

Bet you ten dollars I can.

Coffee. Don't. Please, don't. We don't want this thread locked permanently. Don't risk it. It isn't worth it.

[The Odor]

Bet you ten dollars I can.

Seriuosly dont go there.

[Closak]

You know, the more i think about it the more it seems like FATAL is something that Sabine would play...

...Please don't hurt me! *Dives for cover*

[MReav]

I have this image of Xykon running a FATAL campaign as part of his entertainment torture sessions, and there are bodies of various human slaves, wights, and zombies, who have all committed suicide rather than continue. O-Chul still endures though.

Tsukiko: I've never seen a mindless zombie eat its own brain in order to commit suicide before.

[Closak]

...Oh dear ancestors *Falls over laughing*

I can't stop laughing at the image.
Damn it MReav!
*Keeps laughing, accidentally sending acid spittle flying in every direction as i roll on the floor clutching my stomach*

Oh dear...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Maybe have Xykon playing Celine Dion in the background too?

[MReav]

Maybe have Xykon playing Celine Dion in the background too?

Yes. That would definitely add to the scene.

[Eztheria]

Thank you for the image. While I only know FATAL from the TVT description, I can't help but throw myself on the ground near Closak and join him in laughing.

And I am so glad that my boxes are loud enough to drown the remnants of Celine Dion songs in my head with the power of metal.

[The Odor]

Thank you for the image. While I only know FATAL from the TVT description, I can't help but throw myself on the ground near Closak and join him in laughing.

And I am so glad that my boxes are loud enough to drown the remnants of Celine Dion songs in my head with the power of metal.

Try Hammerfall Any means Necessary.
*ALso rolling*

[Taekwondodo]

Haley's dad x The Snarl. Not happy with it but refuses to be fixed (damn uncooperative story). Gonna post and run as have other things to do, so enjoy! As always comments are appreciated.

Spoiler

Show

Nothing but the steady, dull drip of water on stone and a red haired man watching the puddle at his feet. Ripples spread across the surface with every drip, merging and returning again and again. There is nothing else to hold his attention, three blank stone walls and a fourth of steel bars, red with rust from the damp, dank air. Incarceration has not been kind to him. His hair lies limp and greasy around a gaunt face, his skin grey and his eyes lifeless and staring. A broken man, with little to live for but his memories.

X X X

A forest glade, the sun shining, birds singing and the merry clink of other peoples hard earned coins in his purse. He was alone but he preferred it that way. Alone was safe, people were only liabilities; he had had the chance to learn that in the past. Letting someone in was dangerous and he never took risks.

A flash of colour caught his eye and reflectively he pulled his dagger. Someone there? No one should be here. A “mark”? Had he been followed? No, looking closer it appeared to be a tear, as you would get in clothes, about the height of a man but hanging, suspended in the air. Moving nearer he looked in. Through it he could see a violent swirl of colours; blue, purple, green; but he didn’t look long before am arm, seemingly woven from threads, reached out and pulled him in.

X X X

He regained consciousness slowly, swimming up through the enfolding swathes of oblivion until he could open his eyes. His immediate thought was that he was dreaming but he discounted that almost as quickly. His next thought was hallucination but the pulsing walls of tangled, multicoloured threads seemed too sharp, too focused to be a figment of his imagination.

“Hello.”
Hello...hello...hello

As if triggered by his voice a section of the tangle bunched together. It twisted, forming brief unsettling shapes then blurred for a moment and a woman stepped forward. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen but something told him she was not all she appeared to be. She stopped just in front of him and bowed.

“Greetings Ian Starshine. We are glad you are awake. We have been waiting a long time for you.”

“We?”
We?...we?...we
“Who are you? Where am I? How do you know my name?”
My name?...my name?...my name?

“We have many names but in your world I believe we are known as The Snarl. Where we abide is hard to describe but do not be alarmed, you shall be returned home soon. As for your name we have been waiting a long time for you.”

“You said that before. What do you mean waiting for me? For what?”
What?...what?...what?

“We are sorry, we shall explain. We wish an heir.”

“An...heir?”
An...heir...heir

“Yes. We have chosen you. She must be raised in your world until she comes of age to claim her heritage. Will you help us?”

“Um, OK I guess. What...what do I need to do?”
To do...to do...to do

The woman smiled

“Merely lay with a beautiful woman.”

X X X

He stared down at the new life in his arms. So fragile yet so full of vitality as she stared back up at him with large, dark eyes. His daughter.

“Haley, I'll call her Haley.”
Haley...Haley...Haley

There was a sensation of speed and he looked up, not to see the ever present pulsing walls of threads but instead the forest glade where he had been taken from, oh so long ago. Nothing had changed, even his footprints were still there in the soft loam of the forest floor, as if he had just stepped there a moment before. Was it just a dream after all? A soft gurgle brought his attention to the weight in his arms and he smiled. No, not a dream but a mystery none the less.

“Our little secret.”

[The Odor]

Haley's dad x The Snarl. Not happy with it but refuses to be fixed (damn uncooperative story). Gonna post and run as have other things to do, so enjoy! As always comments are appreciated.

Spoiler

Show

Nothing but the steady, dull drip of water on stone and a red haired man watching the puddle at his feet. Ripples spread across the surface with every drip, merging and returning again and again. There is nothing else to hold his attention, three blank stone walls and a fourth of steel bars, red with rust from the damp, dank air. Incarceration has not been kind to him. His hair lies limp and greasy around a gaunt face, his skin grey and his eyes lifeless and staring. A broken man, with little to live for but his memories.

X X X

A forest glade, the sun shining, birds singing and the merry clink of other peoples hard earned coins in his purse. He was alone but he preferred it that way. Alone was safe, people were only liabilities; he had had the chance to learn that in the past. Letting someone in was dangerous and he never took risks.

A flash of colour caught his eye and reflectively he pulled his dagger. Someone there? No one should be here. A “mark”? Had he been followed? No, looking closer it appeared to be a tear, as you would get in clothes, about the height of a man but hanging, suspended in the air. Moving nearer he looked in. Through it he could see a violent swirl of colours; blue, purple, green; but he didn’t look long before am arm, seemingly woven from threads, reached out and pulled him in.

X X X

He regained consciousness slowly, swimming up through the enfolding swathes of oblivion until he could open his eyes. His immediate thought was that he was dreaming but he discounted that almost as quickly. His next thought was hallucination but the pulsing walls of tangled, multicoloured threads seemed too sharp, too focused to be a figment of his imagination.

“Hello.”
Hello...hello...hello

As if triggered by his voice a section of the tangle bunched together. It twisted, forming brief unsettling shapes then blurred for a moment and a woman stepped forward. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen but something told him she was not all she appeared to be. She stopped just in front of him and bowed.

“Greetings Ian Starshine. We are glad you are awake. We have been waiting a long time for you.”

“We?”
We?...we?...we
“Who are you? Where am I? How do you know my name?”
My name?...my name?...my name?

“We have many names but in your world I believe we are known as The Snarl. Where we abide is hard to describe but do not be alarmed, you shall be returned home soon. As for your name we have been waiting a long time for you.”

“You said that before. What do you mean waiting for me? For what?”
What?...what?...what?

“We are sorry, we shall explain. We wish an heir.”

“An...heir?”
An...heir...heir

“Yes. We have chosen you. She must be raised in your world until she comes of age to claim her heritage. Will you help us?”

“Um, OK I guess. What...what do I need to do?”
To do...to do...to do

The woman smiled

“Merely lay with a beautiful woman.”

X X X

He stared down at the new life in his arms. So fragile yet so full of vitality as she stared back up at him with large, dark eyes. His daughter.

“Haley, I'll call her Haley.”
Haley...Haley...Haley

There was a sensation of speed and he looked up, not to see the ever present pulsing walls of threads but instead the forest glade where he had been taken from, oh so long ago. Nothing had changed, even his footprints were still there in the soft loam of the forest floor, as if he had just stepped there a moment before. Was it just a dream after all? A soft gurgle brought his attention to the weight in his arms and he smiled. No, not a dream but a mystery none the less.

“Our little secret.”

Cool.Tencharyadda