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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Scary Things to Say

    Diplomacy has failed against the sly, snaked-tongued advisor of the corrupted king. The bard is too drunk to talk his way out of this tavern fight. That paladin has waaay too high of a Sense Motive for a good Bluff check.

    What do you, the scary guy in the party, do in such situations? Why, Intimidate, of course! However, instead of just saying, "I roll an Intimidate check," why not put some zazz into it?

    Example: Give us the plans or I'll...
    "...rip your still-living flesh off."
    "...feed you your own entrails."
    "...make you wish you'd never been converted to the new edition."

    What are some scary things to say during an Intimidate check? Keep to the forum rules, naturally, but it by no means has to be tame

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Revanmal's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Give me the plans or...

    "...I will rip out your eyeballs a skull-f*** you."

    "...you will be anally raped with this cactus." (cactus being on fire is optional)

    "...you will be beaten to within an inch of your life, and then, as you lay in the hospital, only barely able to drink your meals through a straw, your family, your friends, your home, your f***ing DOG, will be destroyed. One by one, they will burn and suffer, while you live on in undignified anguish, lying unloved in your bed, encrusted in your own FILTH. And once that is done, once everything you have ever held dear is gone in a blaze of glory, I will find you again, and I will end your life, inflicting upon you such horrible pain mere words cannot describe it. Slowly, ever so slowly, your vision will fade as the blood loss finally overtakes you, and the sweet release of death will reach out to embrace you as you begin the long decent into the fiery Abyss. And as you fall into that hellish nightmare after-life, your soul shall forevermore be haunted by the sound of my hideous laughter, echoing forever in your final moments."
    Avatar by Veera

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Graymayre's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    "Tell me what I want to know, and I'll give back the fingers I'm about to pull off."
    Bombastic founder of the "That guy with a Halberd" Fanclub
    Wanna see this guy return? Click here for more information
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    I am laughing my head off and applauding your tactic genius all at the same time. Bravo, good sir...
    FighterITP : Silver

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    FMArthur's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    *Sets a dildo wrapped in barbed wire on the table and silently stares*
    • Chameleon Base Class [3.5]/[PF]: A versatile, morphic class that mimics one basic party role (warrior, caster, sneak, etc) at a time. If you find yourself getting bored of any class you play too long, the Chameleon is for you!
    • Warlock Power Sources [3.5]: Making Hellfire Warlock part of the base class and providing other similar options for Warlocks whose powers don't come from devils.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    "Tell me what I want to know or I'll shove a fireball down your throat!"

    Alternately, this.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    I've been watching a lot of Blackadder recently. Here are some gems from that delightful show.

    "Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil"

    "Why does it have to end like this? With me slicing you into thin strips and telling your loved ones that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid wearing a very heavy hat?"

    "They do say that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head."

    "Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face..."

    "The booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers"

    "Is there any particular area you'd like us to go for? We can aim anywhere..."
    How to Play Rogues Properly:
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  7. - Top - End - #7
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    Talic's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    1) We have two options here. Either I kill everyone in this room while looking for the plans...

    or you give me the plans, and I kill everyone in the room except you.


    2) I want the plans. I don't know how fast your guards are, but I doubt they're fast enough to stop a crossbow bolt.

    3) I want the plans. If you don't give them to me now, you will die swiftly, far too swiftly for the guards outside to stop. Tell me sir... Are you a Martyr, or a Survivor?

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Seffbasilisk's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Don't say anything. Just smile.
    Life is a gamble, roll the dice. If your life is like cards, rig the deck.

    "Boy, sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don'tchya think?" -Jayne
    Greatest number of kills In Valhalla Round 1 with Hsams Goht


  9. - Top - End - #9
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Rorschach is great for "Bad Cop" quotes.

    A good all-purpose one:
    Quote Originally Posted by Rorschach
    Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture.
    A nice zing to add at the end of any request for information from shady folks / cultists

    Of course, I'm of the opinion that it matters less what you say than how you say it. I had a Rogue who had the habit of Quick-Drawing a hidden knife while settling down to interrogate a fellow - just to trim his nails, you understand
    Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter Games
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    Elflad

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Looks like my bunny slippers are running for cover.

    Get mean! Get angry! Do I look like I'm trembling in my boots? Do I look like I'm wetting myself in fear? Until I'm too terrified to go outside, lest I dare to blow upon the white-hot embers of your eternally burning wraths, it's not scary enough!

  11. - Top - End - #11
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    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    To quote Watchmen (or at least paraphrase):

    "A living body and a dead body both contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no difference." I then whip out a random severed body part from one of my victims* and hurl it at the guy (or at least drop it at their footsteps).

    *If you're the scary guy in the group you should have AT LEAST one remnant from a dead person/creature per HD you have.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    It's not what you say, exactly, it's what you're doing when you say it. Start by cutting off one of his hands, and then smack him in the face with it. You have a couple options at this point.

    "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way means you get out of this with no more limbs missing. You don't want to find out about the hard way."

    "If you cooperate, we'll let you decide what we do with your hand. If you don't, I can't make any promises..."

    Both work without cutting the hand off, but I think it adds something. But my personal favorite is:

    "I'm going to count to ten. At ten, if I don't have what I want, you lose another limb. We'll continue like that until you're out of limbs."

    If your not down for the actual cutting, then just imply it heavily.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Berserk Monk View Post
    *If you're the scary guy in the group you should have AT LEAST one remnant from a dead person/creature per HD you have.
    Said character is made of dead people. And he can control his severed limbs. And attach new limbs to replace the old ones.

    Imagine the terror when he starts using his enemy's arm as his own

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by HeavySleeper View Post
    It's not what you say, exactly, it's what you're doing when you say it. Start by cutting off one of his hands, and then smack him in the face with it. You have a couple options at this point.
    How wasteful! You can only cut a man's hand off twice; break a finger and you can always come back to break it again
    Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter Games
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    Elflad

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    How wasteful! You can only cut a man's hand off twice; break a finger and you can always come back to break it again
    But nothing says "intimidation" by hitting someone with a piece of his own body! If the body parts look like they're about to run out, then all you need to do is start going up the arm or leg bit by bit.
    Last edited by HeavySleeper; 2009-03-29 at 02:27 AM.

  16. - Top - End - #16
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    Froogleyboy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    When i intimidate with my LG Halfling paladin i usually politely say things such as:
    "Listen up you sorry son of a give me the plans or I'll rip your ing head off and shove my ing orc double axe down your throat and sell your body to Drow prostitutes" and then I smile

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Ganurath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Start off by looping a fishhook with some silk rope, tying an arrow to the opposite end, and using your finger to poke around the inside of their cheek. After securing the hook, state the following:

    "I like to learn. Today I could learn what information you have that I would find desirable. I could also learn about physics and the biology of your species. Much like how that fishhook is being removed from your cheek, the choice is yours."

    As an alternative, channel the Captain of a certain 12th Squad from Bleach.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by HeavySleeper View Post
    But nothing says "intimidation" by hitting someone with a piece of his own body! If the body parts look like they're about to run out, then all you need to do is start going up the arm or leg bit by bit.
    Yeah, but then you have to worry about blood loss, passing out from shock, and any number of other things. By that point, the fun starts to sound tedious, and we wouldn't want that.

    Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method
    Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter Games
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    Elflad

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    "You. You will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. You're going to wish you never left your mother's womb, where it was warm ... and safe ... and wet! I'm going to show you pain you never knew existed! You're going to see a whole new spectrum of pain .... LIKE A RAINBOW!"
    Last edited by FoE; 2009-03-29 at 02:38 AM.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Ganurath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method
    Can Clerics of Erythnul cast Purify Food and Drink on flesh and blood?

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method
    That's suitably creepy...

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Kris Strife's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Imitate the DM's voice: "Are you sure you want to do that?"

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dhavaer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method
    I was just reading that comic. Weird. It's a small internet after all.
    Thanks to Veera for the avatar.

    I keep my stories in a blog. You should read them.

    5E Sorcerous Origin: Arcanist

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClericofPhwarrr View Post
    Dhavaer, your ideas are like candy from the sky, sprinkled lightly with cinnamon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll View Post
    Wow. Badass without being flashy and showy, attractive while remaining classy. Bravo Dhavaer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psyren View Post
    ...Why do I imagine you licking your lips and rubbing your hands together?

  24. - Top - End - #24
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    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Dhavaer View Post
    I was just reading that comic. Weird. It's a small internet after all.
    I imagine Flipside is a fairly popular comic. To be honest, it was one of my "dirty pleasure comics" for awhile, but it's actually gotten pretty good with the "Bloody Mary" Arc.

    Dude also knows how to draw some disturbing stuff.
    Last edited by Oracle_Hunter; 2009-03-29 at 03:55 AM.
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    Elflad

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dhavaer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Oracle_Hunter View Post
    I imagine Flipside is a fairly popular comic.
    Really? I'd never heard of it before.
    Thanks to Veera for the avatar.

    I keep my stories in a blog. You should read them.

    5E Sorcerous Origin: Arcanist

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClericofPhwarrr View Post
    Dhavaer, your ideas are like candy from the sky, sprinkled lightly with cinnamon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll View Post
    Wow. Badass without being flashy and showy, attractive while remaining classy. Bravo Dhavaer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psyren View Post
    ...Why do I imagine you licking your lips and rubbing your hands together?

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Quote Originally Posted by Dhavaer View Post
    Really? I'd never heard of it before.
    Number 9 on TopWebComics which, although I never use, is the one voting site all of the comics that ask for voteys seem to use. Who can really tell?
    Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter Games
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    Elflad

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    OOC:

    Fighter: I cut my arm lenghtwise with a dagger to show the others I mean business.

    DM: Ok, you take 20 HP damage. And make a save VS tethanos from the rusty dagger.

    Fighter: *shrug*

    IC: Ok, I cut my own arm. See the blood ? Yes, it is real. Now if you dont want to bleed out like I am right now, tell me where I find the damn sword !
    **** Photobucket ; RIP avatars

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Alot of these are terrible ways to intimidate someone. You rarely ever want to threaten someone directly...that just gives them cause for action...whether it be calling the guards, hiring assassins, leaving town etc.

    I suppose they could be useful if all you're looking for is information, but if you want someone to do something for you without having to be there to make sure they do it, you really need to tone it down a bit.

    Threaten to drive them out of business, threaten to have your bard compose a ballad detailing their sordid extra-marital affairs (no actual affairs required). Threaten to turn their child's favourite pet into a zombie. Do things that are going to get them to do what you want...without putting them in a corner. Blackmail and such are much better forms of intimidation in many instances.

    E.g.

    If you threaten to kill me if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow, when you leave, I'm calling the police

    If you threaten to tell my wife I'm going behind her back with her best friend if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow....I'm not going to tell anyone...and I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow.


    Granted...you may still get assassins if they're rich enough


    Violence is such an overused form of intimidation. And if all you're using intimidation for is to extract information...you might want to look at the BoVD and rules for extrating info via torture. Good times...good times.
    Last edited by Theodoriph; 2009-03-29 at 04:25 AM.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Xuincherguixe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Taking one from Kill Bill...

    "I'm going to ask you some questions. Every time you lie to me, I'll remove parts of you. And believe me, they will be things you will miss." (I don't remember the exact words. Sorry.)

    "Give me the information. You don't want to find out what happens otherwise."

    "Do you know how much blood is in the human body? Oh sure I do, but if you don't? Well let's just say you're about to find out."

    "You know, it just struck me. All of you people have really nice skin. I'd really like to have it."

    On a similar theme...

    "I like your skin. Makes me want to get inside you."

    "You people have a lot of guts. It's clear I'm not going hungry for awhile."

    Why no! I haven't thought about this sort of thing at all!
    Last edited by Xuincherguixe; 2009-03-29 at 05:46 AM.
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    Rizban: You could be all, "Today's Destruction is brought to you by the color green.... I HATE GREEN!" then fly off mumbling to yourself "Seven... seven bats... mwa ha ha ha..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Everyone knows you can just parse XML with regex.
    Don't mind me. I'm just going to have some post traumatic flashbacks in the corner here and sob uncontrollably.


    Millenium Earl by Shmee

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Kris Strife's Avatar

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    Default Re: Scary Things to Say

    Tell us what we want to know, or we'll make you watch BoBoBo-BoBoBoBo, Evangelion, Puni-Puni Poemi, The Smurfs and The Disney channel, all at the same time.

    Even if they dont give you the information theyll go insane.

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