New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 44 of 49 FirstFirst ... 1934353637383940414243444546474849 LastLast
Results 1,291 to 1,320 of 1454
  1. - Top - End - #1291
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    That is so cliche, couldn't you ask for the second born one?
    They tend to not be worth as much on the black market.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  2. - Top - End - #1292
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    They tend to not be worth as much on the black market.
    ... I really don't want to know how you came by this information.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  3. - Top - End - #1293
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    How else did we get a pinball machine?

  4. - Top - End - #1294
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemist Kren View Post
    How else did we get a pinball machine?
    I'm writing a fic about TsukikoxUndead Miko, with Undead Haley and Varrsuvius thrown in, but this is just weird. Now If you excuse me, I need to go play video games until I can't think anymore.
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-10 at 07:12 PM.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  5. - Top - End - #1295
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemist Kren View Post
    I KNOW FREE RESURRECTION!You jus t have to swear your body, soul, and mind to me.You also have to do whatever I say. A nd you might become a skeleton in a few years.
    Ah, a standard legal subclause. Seems very legitimate.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  6. - Top - End - #1296
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Land of Clocks and Stars
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Sorry to interrupt the converstion about our lack of souls and first born daughters (no virgins, people who've been around the block a few times are better) but I really want to see more writing, it's really good.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  7. - Top - End - #1297
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Hm... Whatever happened to That Guy with the Halberd, anyway? Oh well, not important... I'll say it was before the whole Azure City thing...


    Spoiler
    Show

    The Guy With the Halberd ran. He ran as fast as he could, scrambling past rocks and leaping over ledges. He knew that if he stopped, he was going to die. Why was he going to die?

    Because there was a Hyrda chasing him, of course.

    While out on a scouting mission, he'd stumbled across a Hyrda. He'd tried to hold it off, but his might Halberd could only do so much. It had been no match against the monster, and all he had accomplished was giving it a nice set of 3 rather hungry heads. He was now forced to flee from the Hyrda in hopes that perhaps he could outrun it, and he probably would have outrun it eventually, if he had not run into a dead end amongst several rocky cliffs.

    Turning to face the Hyrda, The Guy With the Halberd brandished his weapon. If he was going to die, he was going to die with honor. He opened his mouth to yell a challenge to the fiend, but it interupted him with a loud roar. It hurled itself through the air, and tackled him to the ground with ease. The Guy With the Halberd screamed as the horrible realization hit him. The Hyrda hadn't been hungry at all!

    It was just really, really horny...

    ---

    Hours later, The Battered, Bruised, And Emotionally Scarred Guy With the Halberd staggered through the wastelands, his armor dented in many places and his eyes distant with trauma. He was so out of it that he didn't realize that he'd staggered right past a very confused Lich and a Goblin with a red cloak and an arched eyebrow. Naturally, after everything he'd been through, he wasn't going to put up much of a fight...

    "So, what do we do with him?" Redcloak asked Xykon later on back at their evil base of villainy.

    "Hm..." Xykon scratched his jawbone in wonder as he stared at the bound form of The Guy With the Halberd, who was now twitching and muttering something to himself about there being too many heads... "I say we just do what we did with the last prisoner..."

    "But sir... don't you think that's a bit... cruel?" Redcloak gasped in horror.

    "You know, maybe it is..." Xykon sighed.

    Three seconds of silence later, the two villains began to cackle insanely. "To the roaches!" both bad guys yelled in unison as they opened up a trap door and dropped The Guy With the Halberd into it.

    ---

    -thunk-

    "Ow! Something landed on me! Oh... Hey, I think we got a fresh one!" a small voice chirped from under The Guy With the Halberd, who slowly began to regain his wits after the hard impact with the floor.

    "Hold on, lemme get a light..." Suddenly, the lights flicked on, and The Guy With the Halberd found himself staring at thousands of tiny red insects, which all turned to stare at him. In the corner of the room, a small orb of bright, golden light appeared to be rocking back and forth in a cage.

    "Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!" Roy's Archon was gibbering to himself, trying to block out what he knew was about to happen.

    As the lights flicked off and the room returned to darkness, The Guy With the Halberd began to scream. His screams were quickly drowned out by the skittering of all the Demon Roaches as they descended upon him.


    :You're a sick person... Do y'know that?
    Me: Oh yeah. I know it...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  8. - Top - End - #1298
    Orc in the Playground
     
    TheBibliophile's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Near St Andews, Scotland.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Hm... Whatever happened to That Guy with the Halberd, anyway? Oh well, not important... I'll say it was before the whole Azure City thing...


    Spoiler
    Show

    The Guy With the Halberd ran. He ran as fast as he could, scrambling past rocks and leaping over ledges. He knew that if he stopped, he was going to die. Why was he going to die?

    Because there was a Hyrda chasing him, of course.

    While out on a scouting mission, he'd stumbled across a Hyrda. He'd tried to hold it off, but his might Halberd could only do so much. It had been no match against the monster, and all he had accomplished was giving it a nice set of 3 rather hungry heads. He was now forced to flee from the Hyrda in hopes that perhaps he could outrun it, and he probably would have outrun it eventually, if he had not run into a dead end amongst several rocky cliffs.

    Turning to face the Hyrda, The Guy With the Halberd brandished his weapon. If he was going to die, he was going to die with honor. He opened his mouth to yell a challenge to the fiend, but it interupted him with a loud roar. It hurled itself through the air, and tackled him to the ground with ease. The Guy With the Halberd screamed as the horrible realization hit him. The Hyrda hadn't been hungry at all!

    It was just really, really horny...

    ---

    Hours later, The Battered, Bruised, And Emotionally Scarred Guy With the Halberd staggered through the wastelands, his armor dented in many places and his eyes distant with trauma. He was so out of it that he didn't realize that he'd staggered right past a very confused Lich and a Goblin with a red cloak and an arched eyebrow. Naturally, after everything he'd been through, he wasn't going to put up much of a fight...

    "So, what do we do with him?" Redcloak asked Xykon later on back at their evil base of villainy.

    "Hm..." Xykon scratched his jawbone in wonder as he stared at the bound form of The Guy With the Halberd, who was now twitching and muttering something to himself about there being too many heads... "I say we just do what we did with the last prisoner..."

    "But sir... don't you think that's a bit... cruel?" Redcloak gasped in horror.

    "You know, maybe it is..." Xykon sighed.

    Three seconds of silence later, the two villains began to cackle insanely. "To the roaches!" both bad guys yelled in unison as they opened up a trap door and dropped The Guy With the Halberd into it.

    ---

    -thunk-

    "Ow! Something landed on me! Oh... Hey, I think we got a fresh one!" a small voice chirped from under The Guy With the Halberd, who slowly began to regain his wits after the hard impact with the floor.

    "Hold on, lemme get a light..." Suddenly, the lights flicked on, and The Guy With the Halberd found himself staring at thousands of tiny red insects, which all turned to stare at him. In the corner of the room, a small orb of bright, golden light appeared to be rocking back and forth in a cage.

    "Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!" Roy's Archon was gibbering to himself, trying to block out what he knew was about to happen.

    As the lights flicked off and the room returned to darkness, The Guy With the Halberd began to scream. His screams were quickly drowned out by the skittering of all the Demon Roaches as they descended upon him.


    :You're a sick person... Do y'know that?
    Me: Oh yeah. I know it...
    Niiice. I like.
    Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
    Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
    My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
    Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.

  9. - Top - End - #1299
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Istanbul Turkey
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01
    "There were too many heads...
    Love it!!!
    World is turning so am I, may the god won't disturb our harmony...

    I Am A:
    Spoiler
    Show

    Neutral Evil GnomeRanger/Sorcerer (2nd/2nd Level)

    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 15
    Dexterity- 16
    Constitution- 15
    Intelligence- 15
    Wisdom- 16
    Charisma- 15

  10. - Top - End - #1300
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    The Odor's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Hell (Sweden)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Hm... Whatever happened to That Guy with the Halberd, anyway? Oh well, not important... I'll say it was before the whole Azure City thing...


    Spoiler
    Show

    The Guy With the Halberd ran. He ran as fast as he could, scrambling past rocks and leaping over ledges. He knew that if he stopped, he was going to die. Why was he going to die?

    Because there was a Hyrda chasing him, of course.

    While out on a scouting mission, he'd stumbled across a Hyrda. He'd tried to hold it off, but his might Halberd could only do so much. It had been no match against the monster, and all he had accomplished was giving it a nice set of 3 rather hungry heads. He was now forced to flee from the Hyrda in hopes that perhaps he could outrun it, and he probably would have outrun it eventually, if he had not run into a dead end amongst several rocky cliffs.

    Turning to face the Hyrda, The Guy With the Halberd brandished his weapon. If he was going to die, he was going to die with honor. He opened his mouth to yell a challenge to the fiend, but it interupted him with a loud roar. It hurled itself through the air, and tackled him to the ground with ease. The Guy With the Halberd screamed as the horrible realization hit him. The Hyrda hadn't been hungry at all!

    It was just really, really horny...

    ---

    Hours later, The Battered, Bruised, And Emotionally Scarred Guy With the Halberd staggered through the wastelands, his armor dented in many places and his eyes distant with trauma. He was so out of it that he didn't realize that he'd staggered right past a very confused Lich and a Goblin with a red cloak and an arched eyebrow. Naturally, after everything he'd been through, he wasn't going to put up much of a fight...

    "So, what do we do with him?" Redcloak asked Xykon later on back at their evil base of villainy.

    "Hm..." Xykon scratched his jawbone in wonder as he stared at the bound form of The Guy With the Halberd, who was now twitching and muttering something to himself about there being too many heads... "I say we just do what we did with the last prisoner..."

    "But sir... don't you think that's a bit... cruel?" Redcloak gasped in horror.

    "You know, maybe it is..." Xykon sighed.

    Three seconds of silence later, the two villains began to cackle insanely. "To the roaches!" both bad guys yelled in unison as they opened up a trap door and dropped The Guy With the Halberd into it.

    ---

    -thunk-

    "Ow! Something landed on me! Oh... Hey, I think we got a fresh one!" a small voice chirped from under The Guy With the Halberd, who slowly began to regain his wits after the hard impact with the floor.

    "Hold on, lemme get a light..." Suddenly, the lights flicked on, and The Guy With the Halberd found himself staring at thousands of tiny red insects, which all turned to stare at him. In the corner of the room, a small orb of bright, golden light appeared to be rocking back and forth in a cage.

    "Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!" Roy's Archon was gibbering to himself, trying to block out what he knew was about to happen.

    As the lights flicked off and the room returned to darkness, The Guy With the Halberd began to scream. His screams were quickly drowned out by the skittering of all the Demon Roaches as they descended upon him.


    :You're a sick person... Do y'know that?
    Me: Oh yeah. I know it...
    Cute! I rolled the most perfekt thing both i think it`s been done.
    Therkla and the hydra in the after life...
    Have this been done.
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
    My avatars
    Spoiler
    Show
    Thanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
    Thanks To Mr Saturn for Goth Man avatar.

  11. - Top - End - #1301
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Saeyan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Lurkers Anonymous

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I think sleep dulls my nitpicking abilities. Anyway, here you go:

    Spoiler
    Show


    It had all started when Sir Greenhilt had founded the party. I immediately noticed the rogue he had hired, Miss Haley Starshine by name. We elves traditionally are not in the least attracted to a defined gender; androgyny is what "turns us on", as I believe the expression is. Besides, I already had a hife and children at home. But my marriage was had been? arranged by our parents, and Inky (as I was forced to call hir) was not happy with me. Still, elven society forced us to give the impression that we loved one another, and I kept up this deception even out of the elven homeland.

    Anyway,But this…this was different. Miss Starshine fascinated me strangely. I felt a strangepeculiar tingling in the region of my crotch, which I had never felt before. Elves have no special organs in that area; they reproduce asexually, by cell mitosis. At least, most elves diddo. Ever since my two-decade-long puberty at fifty, when I had developed my spellcasting powers d uring which I first developed my spellcasting powers or when my spellcasting powers first manifested themselves, I had noticed a strange cylindrical object protruding from between my legs. I made no mention of it, but when I was older my research told me that it was what the "male" members of the non-androgynous species used to reproduce. This worried me greatly, and finally I resolved to travel the lands, looking for mention of previous elves with this ailment. I joined up with the adventuring party for safety; I had already been accosted by several unsavoury individuals who apparently found me attractive. I was forced to scorch them a little, at which they usually? :P ran away, half-naked.

    I digress. Miss Starshine and I shared a room at the caravanserai which we stayed in that night, for she took me for the only other woman in the group. I explained that elves are androgynous and reproduce asexually, a secret which she promised to keep to herself. There was a mirror on the wall next to my bed, and I caught myself sneaking peeks at Miss Starshine as she undressed. She was beautiful, I thoughtmused. Beautiful, but still a distraction, I told myself firmly. I hastily got into bed, trying to banish these treacherous thoughts from my mind.

    I added that in because I think it makes the transition between the original last two sentences is smoother, but I guess it works both ways.



    Uh, anyway, I agree with Zanaril’s comments. The story reads very much like a stream-of-consciousness ramble (the good sort of ramble, though). Though Diary of an Elf might be just as interesting to read.

  12. - Top - End - #1302
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Here and there...
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    You do know I can't post if I'm dead.
    Aha! But then how could you post that you cannot post when dead? You are, perhaps, a ghost?

    Or maybe you're referring to the Candlejack phenomen





    Okay, he finally let us go. I think I was going to write something, too. Someone requested a BelkarxHinjo story? Ooookay! I've done worse.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Surrounded by Hobgoblins, and only his trusty wolf Argent at his side, Hinjo held tight in the heat of battle, but even he knew that he would not stand forever.

    "Leave our city, you orange monsters!" He cried above the din of battle. "'Orange monsters'? Really? That's all you've got?" One Hobgoblin taunted him. "The guy with the rapier has better taunts than y-" *SQUITCH!* Argent's teeth dug into the Hobgoblin like a cut of prime rib. "Thank you old friend. At least there are SOME allies that I can-"
    And in turning his head, he saw the one prisoner, whose name escaped him at the moment, readying an arrow with poison. Hinjo could not possibly dodge his attack, so he braced himself for the hit, and prayed to the gods for a natural 20 on his fortitude save.

    But the Arrow never came. Puzzled, he looked back in mid-swing. What he saw made his jaw drop. Belkar, the altruistic halfling, who had stood firm to save his life when Miko turned, had risked his own life to save him from the traitor. Back then, he had felt a strange affection towards the halfling, for without being a Paladin, he had shown loyalty to a man he had never even met before in his life. And despite his uncle's faults, he still admired the man. Such loyalty...few men he knew had ever...

    "Hey, if you're done looking all day-dreamy over at your halfling boyfriend, do you think we could-" *SLASH!*

    Hinjo's blade cut the Hobo's head clean off. He smiled, and knew that if Belkar had seen it, he would be impressed with the strength of his blade.


    : ...And I thought I was the only one who took "Craft: Mental Image".
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  13. - Top - End - #1303
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    The Odor's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Hell (Sweden)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Introbulus View Post
    Aha! But then how could you post that you cannot post when dead? You are, perhaps, a ghost?

    Or maybe you're referring to the Candlejack phenomen





    Okay, he finally let us go. I think I was going to write something, too. Someone requested a BelkarxHinjo story? Ooookay! I've done worse.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Surrounded by Hobgoblins, and only his trusty wolf Argent at his side, Hinjo held tight in the heat of battle, but even he knew that he would not stand forever.

    "Leave our city, you orange monsters!" He cried above the din of battle. "'Orange monsters'? Really? That's all you've got?" One Hobgoblin taunted him. "The guy with the rapier has better taunts than y-" *SQUITCH!* Argent's teeth dug into the Hobgoblin like a cut of prime rib. "Thank you old friend. At least there are SOME allies that I can-"
    And in turning his head, he saw the one prisoner, whose name escaped him at the moment, readying an arrow with poison. Hinjo could not possibly dodge his attack, so he braced himself for the hit, and prayed to the gods for a natural 20 on his fortitude save.

    But the Arrow never came. Puzzled, he looked back in mid-swing. What he saw made his jaw drop. Belkar, the altruistic halfling, who had stood firm to save his life when Miko turned, had risked his own life to save him from the traitor. Back then, he had felt a strange affection towards the halfling, for without being a Paladin, he had shown loyalty to a man he had never even met before in his life. And despite his uncle's faults, he still admired the man. Such loyalty...few men he knew had ever...

    "Hey, if you're done looking all day-dreamy over at your halfling boyfriend, do you think we could-" *SLASH!*

    Hinjo's blade cut the Hobo's head clean off. He smiled, and knew that if Belkar had seen it, he would be impressed with the strength of his blade.


    : ...And I thought I was the only one who took "Craft: Mental Image".
    Creepy...
    My turn
    Argent X Razor
    Spoiler
    Show

    Argent felt the smell of the hobbos nearby. He's instincts told him to rush out there and tear them to shreads with he's claws but another instinct (the cowardly ones) wanted to go hide with he's mother. Both he's mother where not in the celestial realm. He walked the clouds in search for anyone to talk to but he fund no one. Suddenly he heard a sobing sound. He ran in towards the sound and found a lake and in it there was a shark that he found odddly familiar. As a good paladin mount he swam out and asked what was wrong.
    -My master might die tomorrow and i can't help her. it said.
    -That's a sad story pretty simmlar to my. said Argent and tolds he's tale.
    He spent the night with the shark (nothing sexual) and the next morning he where called upon to fight the hobgoblins. He's master survived but he have not seen the shark again...

    That one was very fun to write. Wait a moment. I was going for creepy. Doh. Might do more. Commments.
    Last edited by The Odor; 2009-09-11 at 09:40 AM.
    Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
    My avatars
    Spoiler
    Show
    Thanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
    Thanks To Mr Saturn for Goth Man avatar.

  14. - Top - End - #1304
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Yay, good feedback on my literary abominations!

    @Introbulus: That was rather... creepy. But also well written. Good job!

    @The Odor: Hm... Not very creepy, if that is what you were going for. Tells a good story, though. Also, this is just a side bit of advice, but quotation marks and commas really help to streamline your writing. Also, you had a few typos, so proof-reading before you post your stuff might also be a good idea. Not that it has any major affect on the story itself, but it helps with the presentation and the flow of things.

    Sorry if I'm nit-picky...



    Sorry guys, but I'll be internet-less for the next few days, so no more crack pairings or horrified comments from me until Sunday evening. I might write a little tale or two if I get the chance during my absence, so maybe I'll have something to show when I return...
    Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-09-11 at 10:22 AM.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  15. - Top - End - #1305
    Halfling in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    On the Internets
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    RE: Cart of gophers
    Quote Originally Posted by DOOMBOT9000 View Post
    New entry in the crack pairing thread?
    I think we know what must be done...
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  16. - Top - End - #1306
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    New crack pairing alert!
    Quote Originally Posted by shadzar View Post
    So then we all know who the opposite of Blackwing is then right? Qarr.


    Blackwing is the good side of the conscious and Qarr is the bad side of V's conscious.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-11 at 02:26 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  17. - Top - End - #1307
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Here and there...
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Alright, to make up for the apparently rather creepy BelkarXHinjo story, I'm going to try to roll up a more...mutual love-ish story instead. I'll hold off on the plot element unless I need a little inspiration.

    Alright, so that's...The Eye of Fear and Flame X Shadowdancer.

    ...NO.

    Okay...HaleyxCrystal...huh...well I guess I can do something nice with this...

    Spoiler
    Show

    "Are you sure? I mean you could just hide the body and-"
    "No, I'm sure about this. I can't risk Bozzok finding out about my little "temper tandrum". Now raise her already, okay?"

    Haley Starshine found herself alone in the thieves guild...well, alone save for the one cleric she had requested from the guild and Crystal...or rather, what would soon be Crystal.

    "Well, it's your call then, Starshine...one Raise Dead comin' up."

    As the caster chanted his spell, Haley thought back, to the time she and Crystal first met, and the REAL reason she was raising her right now.

    ------------------------

    "Nice Boots? NICE BOOTS?! That bitch, she KNOWS these are terrible boots!" A Young Haley Starshine marched back and forth in her new Thieves guild room, holding a pair of lime-green boots in her hand; boots that her father had made her wear; her least favorite boots in the world.

    "Where does she come off-" Just then, a knock at her door interrupted her chain of thought. "Oh, er...come in." Haley said without thinking, as someone entered the room behind her. "I mean, is she trying to make me look ba-" And for the second time in a row was interrupted, when a sleek, agile figure grabbed her arm and pulled it behind her, kicking the door closed. "H-HEY! LET GO!"

    "Heh...I knew it! You're as green as your boots!" Crystal let Haley go, as the lime-green boots dropped to the floor. Haley turned around, her face red and furious. "What was THAT about?!" She yelled at the girl her own age. "And what are you doing in my room?!"

    "Um, hello? You invited me in?" Crystal shrugged, sitting rather blithely on Haley's bed. "You got some sweet digs here, Starshine. Your dad must have pretty good pull in the guild."

    "Yeah, he's second-in-command." Haley tried to intimidate her, but it wasn't going to work. Crystal was a few levels ahead of her, and far more confident in herself.

    "Yeah? Fancy that." She grinned. "So you think I should change my hair? I mean, gods know you weren't SERIOUS about it being "nice", right?"

    Haley gaped for a bit..maybe this was just how Crystal normally acts...she sat down by the strange girl. "Well um...maybe a little longer would be nice..."

    "Ya' think? Heh...yeah, green's not your color either...maybe get something in tan. That'd better suit your hair...heh...I wish I had hair like that."

    "...Th-thanks..." Haley blushed a bit at the compliment. "I wish I had your...well, your confidence...I gotta say, I'm kind of new at this "rogue" thing..."

    "Yeah?" Crystal grinned, putting an arm casually around the newbie's body. "Come on, Starshine. I'll teach you everything you'll ever need to know."

    The closeness of their bodies made Haley flush a bit again. "Y-yeah? Everything?"

    "Absolutely."

    ----------------------------

    "-aise Dead Raise Dead Raise Dead!" The Cleric was finally done, and the wounds on Crystal's body healed over, good as new as she breathed her first fresh air in days.

    "STARSHINE!" She shouted, jumping at Haley, who dodged her attack easily as she pushed the Cleric out of the room. "Okay, that's enough from you for today, buddy!"

    "Wait, what if she needs-" But Haley had already pushed him out and locked the door, as Crystal made another leap at Haley.

    "I'm gonna pull your hair out and-!" "Crystal." Haley interjected. "It's a soundproof room. No one else can hear us."

    "Oh, good!" Crystal's arms went around Haley, as the two of them embraced, and shared a quick kiss that made the both of them giggle with delight. "Mmm...I know this whole "rival" thing was your idea Haley, but I can't stand being angry at you so often..."

    "Mm...you're doing fine, Crystal. Nobody knows about how we really feel." Haley grinned. "Or how we've always felt...together."

    "Mm..." Crystal locked her fingers with Haley, pulling herself closer to the beautiful red-head. "You know...by all accounts this is a new body...I'm technically a virgin now."

    Haley grinned, as Crystal began to unbutton her top. "Don't worry, Crystal...I'll teach you everything you need to know."
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  18. - Top - End - #1308
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Belgrade, Sebia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Can someone PM me the link to the changing banner? You know, the one that changes each time you refresh?
    Quote Originally Posted by BenjCano View Post
    Why do babies get to go to heaven?

  19. - Top - End - #1309
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Introbulus View Post
    Okay...HaleyxCrystal...huh...well I guess I can do something nice with this...
    Pretty nice. But if they're lovers, Haley's murder of Crystal comes off as odd, and so does Crystal reaction (or lack thereof) to it.

    I wonder what Elan will think of this though.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  20. - Top - End - #1310
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    About-2-BackStab-You-Land
    Gender
    Male

    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Introbulus View Post
    Okay, he finally let us go. I think I was going to write something, too. Someone requested a BelkarxHinjo story? Ooookay! I've done worse.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Surrounded by Hobgoblins, and only his trusty wolf Argent at his side, Hinjo held tight in the heat of battle, but even he knew that he would not stand forever.

    "Leave our city, you orange monsters!" He cried above the din of battle. "'Orange monsters'? Really? That's all you've got?" One Hobgoblin taunted him. "The guy with the rapier has better taunts than y-" *SQUITCH!* Argent's teeth dug into the Hobgoblin like a cut of prime rib. "Thank you old friend. At least there are SOME allies that I can-"
    And in turning his head, he saw the one prisoner, whose name escaped him at the moment, readying an arrow with poison. Hinjo could not possibly dodge his attack, so he braced himself for the hit, and prayed to the gods for a natural 20 on his fortitude save.

    But the Arrow never came. Puzzled, he looked back in mid-swing. What he saw made his jaw drop. Belkar, the altruistic halfling, who had stood firm to save his life when Miko turned, had risked his own life to save him from the traitor. Back then, he had felt a strange affection towards the halfling, for without being a Paladin, he had shown loyalty to a man he had never even met before in his life. And despite his uncle's faults, he still admired the man. Such loyalty...few men he knew had ever...

    "Hey, if you're done looking all day-dreamy over at your halfling boyfriend, do you think we could-" *SLASH!*

    Hinjo's blade cut the Hobo's head clean off. He smiled, and knew that if Belkar had seen it, he would be impressed with the strength of his blade.


    : ...And I thought I was the only one who took "Craft: Mental Image".
    HUZZAH! More Belkar Parings!!
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-11 at 03:21 PM.
    High Priest of

  21. - Top - End - #1311
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Next section.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Inkyrius carefully stood up, finally certain the children were soundly trancing. After tucking the covers around them, the elf tiptoed towards the door.

    “They’re brave.” Inkyrius said, backing out into the corridor and pulling the door closed until only a thin slice of the darkened room could be seen. “Braver than me it seems; I don’t think I’m going to be able to trance for a while.”

    Aarindarius gave a sympathetic look, “They’re also exhausted. So are you by the looks of it.”

    The other elf shrugged “Thanks again for letting us stay here.”

    “It’s no problem. Really.” The wizard started towards the stairs, motioning for the other elf to follow. “You look like you need a drink. Perhaps something a little stronger than tea this time.”


    Back in the drawing room, Aarindarius rummaged around in one of the cabinets, pulling out a mostly-full bottle of wine and two glasses. He flopped down onto the sofa next to the baker and poured each of them some wine then took a large sip out of his own glass. Inkyrius gazed down at the red liquid.

    “Do you think Vaarsuvius is okay?” The elf asked suddenly, causing Aarindarius to choke on his wine.

    “I mean, maybe I over-reacted.” Inkyrius said distractedly as the wizard coughed into his robe sleeve. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. Maybe Vaarsuvius did do everything out of purely selfless intentions.” The elf took a nervous gulp of wine.

    “Then why leave rather that stay with you?” Aarindarius said wheezily.

    “Because I as good as told Suvie to!” the baker exclaimed. “I shouted, wouldn’t listen to the other side of the story!”

    “You acted as anyone else would have in the same situation.”

    “Anyone else would have thanked their rescuer, not driven them away. Especially when it cost that person so much.”

    “What happened today is not your fault.”

    “No, but it wasn’t Vaarsuvius’ fault either that a dragon suddenly decided we were easy prey!”

    Aarundarius looked uncomfortable. “Inkyrius... don’t you find it a bit strange that a dragon not only targeted your family specifically, but that Vaarsuvius found out about it in time to contact and make a deal with someone from the lower planes?”

    “W-what are you saying? That Vaarsuvius had met the dragon before?”

    “I’m saying that the dragon probably attacked you as revenge for something Vaarsuvius did.”

    The baker gave a slight snort of laughter. “Suvie left to learn more about magic, not to slay dragons!”

    “Your mate is currently part of an adventuring party. Dragon slaying is certainly part of such a group’s agenda.”

    The baker stared blankly at the wizard, and then slumped back against the cushions, eyes shut. “So Vaarsuvius though to tell you but not me? How long have you known? What else do you know about my mate that I haven’t been informed of?”

    Aarindarius frowned slightly. “Nothing. At least nothing that has arisen during the last six years, since Vaarsuvius hasn’t contacted me either. I used a Scrying spell earlier today after you left.”

    “And did that let you find out where Suvie is? Did you find out if...?”

    “From what I could tell, it was by the sea, possibly an island. From what vegetation there was, I’d guess it’s somewhere in this continent, although I might be wrong. You still care, don’t you.”

    “One event is hardly enough to undo many happy years.” But the elf looked uncertain. “It’s hard to know how to feel.”

    “If you want my opinion...” the wizard hazarded “you never seemed that close.”

    “We certainly disagreed over what was important.”

    “Married people do argue. It doesn’t mean the relationship if a failure.” Aarindarius added hurredly.

    “You’re switching sides now; you were right the first time. We didn’t argue – we hardly talked at all! If I hadn’t put my foot down over the issue, Vaarsuvius would have been reading spell books at the dinner table.”

    “Really? Vaarsuvius always struck me as excessively verbose.”

    “I don’t count having arcane theory babbled at me as us talking. Shame neither of our children took an interest in magic, maybe that would have prompted Suvie to actually take some responsibility in bringing them up.”

    “Surely you don’t mean that.”

    “You of all people should know how reclusive Vaarsuvius can get.”

    To that, Aarindarius had no reply. Instead he poured each of them some more wine, and they both settled down to a night of contemplative silence.

    ***

    Inkyrius bolted out of a trace as a scream tore through the air, which was followed by loud crying. Two voices crying, as the elf child’s sibling also awoke. Inkyrius scrambled up from the sofa, having been resting against Aarindarius’ shoulder, barely noticing where they were. The baker ran out the room towards the stairs leading up, leaving Aarindarius to blink sleepily at the numerous empty bottles on the table in front of him. The older elf brushed a tangle of lilac hair out of his face then stood and stumbled slightly, caught the table for balance, then headed towards the door unsteadily.

    By the time Aarindarius reached the next floor the crying had quietened down, which he thanked the Elven gods for because his head currently felt like it had been run over by a dragon. He looked around the door and saw Inkyrius perched on the bed, arms around the two children who were both sobbing, muttering comfortingly to them. The lamp on the bedside table was casting a dim yellow light, giving Inkyrius’ soft features a golden glow. The wizard felt his mouth go dry.

    Seeing him, Inkyrius looked up. “I’ll spend the rest of the night in here.”

    Aarindarius nodded, then forced back the lump in his throat. “Err... do you want me to stay.”

    “I’ll be fine.”

    Aarindarius nodded mutely, backing out of the room. He went down the stairs again, collected up the empty bottles, and took them into the kitchen, where he ran the tap and splashed cold water onto his face. The cold shock helped clear his mind, but the emotions remained, as heavy as ever.

    He turned the tap off and ran an unsteady hand distractedly through his hair. If only it were Inkyrius’ hair...

    No.

    He brought his hand down hurriedly and clenched it, nails biting into his palm. That wasn’t helpful and it certainly wasn’t appropriate. Whatever happened with Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius’ relationship, he shouldn’t be one to drive a wedge between them. Resignedly, he headed for his room, intending to get a few hours trancing to help organise his thoughts before he made any decisions he might regret.

    All the while a small voice insisted that this was the ideal time to act, that the other elf needed emotional support and now more than ever would accept it. He ignored the voice, pushing it to the back of his mind, but it would not be silenced.

    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-11 at 05:15 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  22. - Top - End - #1312
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Next section.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Inkyrius carefully stood up, finally certain the children were soundly trancing. After tucking the covers around them, the elf tiptoed towards the door.

    “They’re brave.” Inkyrius said, backing out into the corridor and pulling the door closed until only a thin slice of the darkened room could be seen. “Braver than me it seems; I don’t think I’m going to be able to trance for a while.”

    Aarindarius gave a sympathetic look, “They’re also exhausted. So are you by the looks of it.”

    The other elf shrugged “Thanks again for letting us stay here.”

    “It’s no problem. Really.” The wizard started towards the stairs, motioning for the other elf to follow. “You look like you need a drink. Perhaps something a little stronger than tea this time.”


    Back in the drawing room, Aarindarius rummaged around in one of the cabinets, pulling out a mostly-full bottle of wine and two glasses. He flopped down onto the sofa next to the baker and poured each of them some wine then took a large sip out of his own glass. Inkyrius gazed down at the red liquid.

    “Do you think Vaarsuvius is okay?” The elf asked suddenly, causing Aarindarius to choke on his wine.

    “I mean, maybe I over-reacted.” Inkyrius said distractedly as the wizard coughed into his robe sleeve. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. Maybe Vaarsuvius did do everything out of purely selfless intentions.” The elf took a nervous gulp of wine.

    “Then why leave rather that stay with you?” Aarindarius said wheezily.

    “Because I as good as told Suvie to!” the baker exclaimed. “I shouted, wouldn’t listen to the other side of the story!”

    “You acted as anyone else would have in the same situation.”

    “Anyone else would have thanked their rescuer, not driven them away. Especially when it cost that person so much.”

    “What happened today is not your fault.”

    “No, but it wasn’t Vaarsuvius’ fault either that a dragon suddenly decided we were easy prey!”

    Aarundarius looked uncomfortable. “Inkyrius... don’t you find it a bit strange that a dragon not only targeted your family specifically, but that Vaarsuvius found out about it in time to contact and make a deal with someone from the lower planes?”

    “W-what are you saying? That Vaarsuvius had met the dragon before?”

    “I’m saying that the dragon probably attacked you as revenge for something Vaarsuvius did.”

    The baker gave a slight snort of laughter. “Suvie left to learn more about magic, not to slay dragons!”

    “Your mate is currently part of an adventuring party. Dragon slaying is certainly part of such a group’s agenda.”

    The baker stared blankly at the wizard, and then slumped back against the cushions, eyes shut. “So Vaarsuvius though to tell you but not me? How long have you known? What else do you know about my mate that I haven’t been informed of?”

    Aarindarius frowned slightly. “Nothing. At least nothing that has arisen during the last six years, since Vaarsuvius hasn’t contacted me either. I used a Scrying spell earlier today after you left.”

    “And did that let you find out where Suvie is? Did you find out if...?”

    “From what I could tell, it was by the sea, possibly an island. From what vegetation there was, I’d guess it’s somewhere in this continent, although I might be wrong. You still care, don’t you.”

    “One event is hardly enough to undo many happy years.” But the elf looked uncertain. “It’s hard to know how to feel.”

    “If you want my opinion...” the wizard hazarded “you never seemed that close.”

    “We certainly disagreed over what was important.”

    “Married people do argue. It doesn’t mean the relationship if a failure.” Inkyrius added hurredly.

    “You’re switching sides now; you were right the first time. We didn’t argue – we hardly talked at all! If I hadn’t put my foot down over the issue, Vaarsuvius would have been reading spell books at the dinner table.”

    “Really? Vaarsuvius always struck me as excessively verbose.”

    “I don’t count having arcane theory babbled at me as us talking. Shame neither of our children took an interest in magic, maybe that would have prompted Suvie to actually take some responsibility in bringing them up.”

    “Surely you don’t mean that.”

    “You of all people should know how reclusive Vaarsuvius can get.”

    To that, Aarindarius had no reply. Instead he poured each of them some more wine, and they both settled down to a night of contemplative silence.

    ***

    Inkyrius bolted out of a trace as a scream tore through the air, which was followed by loud crying. Two voices crying, as the elf child’s sibling also awoke. Inkyrius scrambled up from the sofa, having been resting against inkyrius’ shoulder, barely noticing where they were. The baker ran out the room towards the stairs leading up, leaving Aarindarius to blink sleepily at the numerous empty bottles on the table in front of him. The older elf brushed a tangle of lilac hair out of his face then stood and stumbled slightly, caught the table for balance, then headed towards the door unsteadily.

    By the time Aarindarius reached the next floor the crying had quietened down, which he thanked the Elven gods for because his head currently felt like it had been run over by a dragon. He looked around the door and saw Inkyrius perched on the bed, arms around the two children who were both sobbing, muttering comfortingly to them. The lamp on the bedside table was casting a dim yellow light, giving Inkyrius’ soft features a golden glow. The wizard felt his mouth go dry.

    Seeing him, Inkyrius looked up. “I’ll spend the rest of the night in here.”

    Aarindarius nodded, then forced back the lump in his throat. “Err... do you want me to stay.”

    “I’ll be fine.”

    Aarindarius nodded mutely, backing out of the room. He went down the stairs again, collected up the empty bottles, and took them into the kitchen, where he ran the tap and splashed cold water onto his face. The cold shock helped clear his mind, but the emotions remained, as heavy as ever.

    He turned the tap off and ran an unsteady hand distractedly through his hair. If only it were Inkyrius’ hair...

    No.

    He brought his hand down hurriedly and clenched it, nails biting into his palm. That wasn’t helpful and it certainly wasn’t appropriate. Whatever happened with Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius’ relationship, he shouldn’t be one to drive a wedge between them. Resignedly, he headed for his room, intending to get a few hours trancing to help organise his thoughts before he made any decisions he might regret.

    All the while a small voice insisted that this that the ideal time to act, that the other elf needed emotional support and now more than ever would accept it. He ignored the voice, pushing it to the back of his mind, but it would not be silenced.

    Huzzah! A new section. Brilliantly written, as always. One small complaint.
    Ikyrius scrambled up from the sofa, having been resting against inkyrius’ shoulder, barely noticing where they were.
    Did you mean to write Aarindarius where the second Inkrius was?

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  23. - Top - End - #1313
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I sense much drama in the future. Very nice.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  24. - Top - End - #1314
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Huzzah! A new section. Brilliantly written, as always. One small complaint.


    Did you mean to write Aarindarius where the second Inkrius was?
    Yes. Yes I did. *Edits*

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    I sense much drama in the future. Very nice.
    You sense correctly, of course.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-11 at 04:58 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  25. - Top - End - #1315
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mr. Moon's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Loving the questions
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I'm still on the first page, but I just have to say, I love this thread.
    I love it so damn much.
    ^^
    "You tied your wings on tightly but they always come undone"
    ~ ClumsyMonkey, Montreal
    Beautiful red panda avatar by Eldar Tsufo!

  26. - Top - End - #1316
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Moon_Called View Post
    I'm still on the first page, but I just have to say, I love this thread.
    I love it so damn much.
    ^^
    Only the first page? It is an enlightening journey you have embarked on.

    BTW, if you go straight to page 11, Lira has compiled all the stories, although I can see the appeal of browsing through our eccentric banter.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  27. - Top - End - #1317
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Here and there...
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Next section.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Inkyrius carefully stood up, finally certain the children were soundly trancing. After tucking the covers around them, the elf tiptoed towards the door.

    “They’re brave.” Inkyrius said, backing out into the corridor and pulling the door closed until only a thin slice of the darkened room could be seen. “Braver than me it seems; I don’t think I’m going to be able to trance for a while.”

    Aarindarius gave a sympathetic look, “They’re also exhausted. So are you by the looks of it.”

    The other elf shrugged “Thanks again for letting us stay here.”

    “It’s no problem. Really.” The wizard started towards the stairs, motioning for the other elf to follow. “You look like you need a drink. Perhaps something a little stronger than tea this time.”


    Back in the drawing room, Aarindarius rummaged around in one of the cabinets, pulling out a mostly-full bottle of wine and two glasses. He flopped down onto the sofa next to the baker and poured each of them some wine then took a large sip out of his own glass. Inkyrius gazed down at the red liquid.

    “Do you think Vaarsuvius is okay?” The elf asked suddenly, causing Aarindarius to choke on his wine.

    “I mean, maybe I over-reacted.” Inkyrius said distractedly as the wizard coughed into his robe sleeve. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. Maybe Vaarsuvius did do everything out of purely selfless intentions.” The elf took a nervous gulp of wine.

    “Then why leave rather that stay with you?” Aarindarius said wheezily.

    “Because I as good as told Suvie to!” the baker exclaimed. “I shouted, wouldn’t listen to the other side of the story!”

    “You acted as anyone else would have in the same situation.”

    “Anyone else would have thanked their rescuer, not driven them away. Especially when it cost that person so much.”

    “What happened today is not your fault.”

    “No, but it wasn’t Vaarsuvius’ fault either that a dragon suddenly decided we were easy prey!”

    Aarundarius looked uncomfortable. “Inkyrius... don’t you find it a bit strange that a dragon not only targeted your family specifically, but that Vaarsuvius found out about it in time to contact and make a deal with someone from the lower planes?”

    “W-what are you saying? That Vaarsuvius had met the dragon before?”

    “I’m saying that the dragon probably attacked you as revenge for something Vaarsuvius did.”

    The baker gave a slight snort of laughter. “Suvie left to learn more about magic, not to slay dragons!”

    “Your mate is currently part of an adventuring party. Dragon slaying is certainly part of such a group’s agenda.”

    The baker stared blankly at the wizard, and then slumped back against the cushions, eyes shut. “So Vaarsuvius though to tell you but not me? How long have you known? What else do you know about my mate that I haven’t been informed of?”

    Aarindarius frowned slightly. “Nothing. At least nothing that has arisen during the last six years, since Vaarsuvius hasn’t contacted me either. I used a Scrying spell earlier today after you left.”

    “And did that let you find out where Suvie is? Did you find out if...?”

    “From what I could tell, it was by the sea, possibly an island. From what vegetation there was, I’d guess it’s somewhere in this continent, although I might be wrong. You still care, don’t you.”

    “One event is hardly enough to undo many happy years.” But the elf looked uncertain. “It’s hard to know how to feel.”

    “If you want my opinion...” the wizard hazarded “you never seemed that close.”

    “We certainly disagreed over what was important.”

    “Married people do argue. It doesn’t mean the relationship if a failure.” Inkyrius added hurredly.

    “You’re switching sides now; you were right the first time. We didn’t argue – we hardly talked at all! If I hadn’t put my foot down over the issue, Vaarsuvius would have been reading spell books at the dinner table.”

    “Really? Vaarsuvius always struck me as excessively verbose.”

    “I don’t count having arcane theory babbled at me as us talking. Shame neither of our children took an interest in magic, maybe that would have prompted Suvie to actually take some responsibility in bringing them up.”

    “Surely you don’t mean that.”

    “You of all people should know how reclusive Vaarsuvius can get.”

    To that, Aarindarius had no reply. Instead he poured each of them some more wine, and they both settled down to a night of contemplative silence.

    ***

    Inkyrius bolted out of a trace as a scream tore through the air, which was followed by loud crying. Two voices crying, as the elf child’s sibling also awoke. Inkyrius scrambled up from the sofa, having been resting against Aarindarius’ shoulder, barely noticing where they were. The baker ran out the room towards the stairs leading up, leaving Aarindarius to blink sleepily at the numerous empty bottles on the table in front of him. The older elf brushed a tangle of lilac hair out of his face then stood and stumbled slightly, caught the table for balance, then headed towards the door unsteadily.

    By the time Aarindarius reached the next floor the crying had quietened down, which he thanked the Elven gods for because his head currently felt like it had been run over by a dragon. He looked around the door and saw Inkyrius perched on the bed, arms around the two children who were both sobbing, muttering comfortingly to them. The lamp on the bedside table was casting a dim yellow light, giving Inkyrius’ soft features a golden glow. The wizard felt his mouth go dry.

    Seeing him, Inkyrius looked up. “I’ll spend the rest of the night in here.”

    Aarindarius nodded, then forced back the lump in his throat. “Err... do you want me to stay.”

    “I’ll be fine.”

    Aarindarius nodded mutely, backing out of the room. He went down the stairs again, collected up the empty bottles, and took them into the kitchen, where he ran the tap and splashed cold water onto his face. The cold shock helped clear his mind, but the emotions remained, as heavy as ever.

    He turned the tap off and ran an unsteady hand distractedly through his hair. If only it were Inkyrius’ hair...

    No.

    He brought his hand down hurriedly and clenched it, nails biting into his palm. That wasn’t helpful and it certainly wasn’t appropriate. Whatever happened with Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius’ relationship, he shouldn’t be one to drive a wedge between them. Resignedly, he headed for his room, intending to get a few hours trancing to help organise his thoughts before he made any decisions he might regret.

    All the while a small voice insisted that this was the ideal time to act, that the other elf needed emotional support and now more than ever would accept it. He ignored the voice, pushing it to the back of his mind, but it would not be silenced.

    A masterful pairing. Well done.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  28. - Top - End - #1318
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Introbulus View Post
    A masterful pairing. Well done.
    The only probem is, their names are so simmilar I keep mixing them up. They both blur into vowel-vowel-rius.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-11 at 05:21 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  29. - Top - End - #1319
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Next section.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Inkyrius carefully stood up, finally certain the children were soundly trancing. After tucking the covers around them, the elf tiptoed towards the door.

    “They’re brave.” Inkyrius said, backing out into the corridor and pulling the door closed until only a thin slice of the darkened room could be seen. “Braver than me it seems; I don’t think I’m going to be able to trance for a while.”

    Aarindarius gave a sympathetic look, “They’re also exhausted. So are you by the looks of it.”

    The other elf shrugged “Thanks again for letting us stay here.”

    “It’s no problem. Really.” The wizard started towards the stairs, motioning for the other elf to follow. “You look like you need a drink. Perhaps something a little stronger than tea this time.”


    Back in the drawing room, Aarindarius rummaged around in one of the cabinets, pulling out a mostly-full bottle of wine and two glasses. He flopped down onto the sofa next to the baker and poured each of them some wine then took a large sip out of his own glass. Inkyrius gazed down at the red liquid.

    “Do you think Vaarsuvius is okay?” The elf asked suddenly, causing Aarindarius to choke on his wine.

    “I mean, maybe I over-reacted.” Inkyrius said distractedly as the wizard coughed into his robe sleeve. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. Maybe Vaarsuvius did do everything out of purely selfless intentions.” The elf took a nervous gulp of wine.

    “Then why leave rather that stay with you?” Aarindarius said wheezily.

    “Because I as good as told Suvie to!” the baker exclaimed. “I shouted, wouldn’t listen to the other side of the story!”

    “You acted as anyone else would have in the same situation.”

    “Anyone else would have thanked their rescuer, not driven them away. Especially when it cost that person so much.”

    “What happened today is not your fault.”

    “No, but it wasn’t Vaarsuvius’ fault either that a dragon suddenly decided we were easy prey!”

    Aarundarius looked uncomfortable. “Inkyrius... don’t you find it a bit strange that a dragon not only targeted your family specifically, but that Vaarsuvius found out about it in time to contact and make a deal with someone from the lower planes?”

    “W-what are you saying? That Vaarsuvius had met the dragon before?”

    “I’m saying that the dragon probably attacked you as revenge for something Vaarsuvius did.”

    The baker gave a slight snort of laughter. “Suvie left to learn more about magic, not to slay dragons!”

    “Your mate is currently part of an adventuring party. Dragon slaying is certainly part of such a group’s agenda.”

    The baker stared blankly at the wizard, and then slumped back against the cushions, eyes shut. “So Vaarsuvius though to tell you but not me? How long have you known? What else do you know about my mate that I haven’t been informed of?”

    Aarindarius frowned slightly. “Nothing. At least nothing that has arisen during the last six years, since Vaarsuvius hasn’t contacted me either. I used a Scrying spell earlier today after you left.”

    “And did that let you find out where Suvie is? Did you find out if...?”

    “From what I could tell, it was by the sea, possibly an island. From what vegetation there was, I’d guess it’s somewhere in this continent, although I might be wrong. You still care, don’t you.”

    “One event is hardly enough to undo many happy years.” But the elf looked uncertain. “It’s hard to know how to feel.”

    “If you want my opinion...” the wizard hazarded “you never seemed that close.”

    “We certainly disagreed over what was important.”

    “Married people do argue. It doesn’t mean the relationship if a failure.” Aarindarius added hurredly.

    “You’re switching sides now; you were right the first time. We didn’t argue – we hardly talked at all! If I hadn’t put my foot down over the issue, Vaarsuvius would have been reading spell books at the dinner table.”

    “Really? Vaarsuvius always struck me as excessively verbose.”

    “I don’t count having arcane theory babbled at me as us talking. Shame neither of our children took an interest in magic, maybe that would have prompted Suvie to actually take some responsibility in bringing them up.”

    “Surely you don’t mean that.”

    “You of all people should know how reclusive Vaarsuvius can get.”

    To that, Aarindarius had no reply. Instead he poured each of them some more wine, and they both settled down to a night of contemplative silence.

    ***

    Inkyrius bolted out of a trace as a scream tore through the air, which was followed by loud crying. Two voices crying, as the elf child’s sibling also awoke. Inkyrius scrambled up from the sofa, having been resting against Aarindarius’ shoulder, barely noticing where they were. The baker ran out the room towards the stairs leading up, leaving Aarindarius to blink sleepily at the numerous empty bottles on the table in front of him. The older elf brushed a tangle of lilac hair out of his face then stood and stumbled slightly, caught the table for balance, then headed towards the door unsteadily.

    By the time Aarindarius reached the next floor the crying had quietened down, which he thanked the Elven gods for because his head currently felt like it had been run over by a dragon. He looked around the door and saw Inkyrius perched on the bed, arms around the two children who were both sobbing, muttering comfortingly to them. The lamp on the bedside table was casting a dim yellow light, giving Inkyrius’ soft features a golden glow. The wizard felt his mouth go dry.

    Seeing him, Inkyrius looked up. “I’ll spend the rest of the night in here.”

    Aarindarius nodded, then forced back the lump in his throat. “Err... do you want me to stay.”

    “I’ll be fine.”

    Aarindarius nodded mutely, backing out of the room. He went down the stairs again, collected up the empty bottles, and took them into the kitchen, where he ran the tap and splashed cold water onto his face. The cold shock helped clear his mind, but the emotions remained, as heavy as ever.

    He turned the tap off and ran an unsteady hand distractedly through his hair. If only it were Inkyrius’ hair...

    No.

    He brought his hand down hurriedly and clenched it, nails biting into his palm. That wasn’t helpful and it certainly wasn’t appropriate. Whatever happened with Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius’ relationship, he shouldn’t be one to drive a wedge between them. Resignedly, he headed for his room, intending to get a few hours trancing to help organise his thoughts before he made any decisions he might regret.

    All the while a small voice insisted that this was the ideal time to act, that the other elf needed emotional support and now more than ever would accept it. He ignored the voice, pushing it to the back of his mind, but it would not be silenced.

    Good show! I love your story, and it seems things are going to get very interesting.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  30. - Top - End - #1320
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Kobold-Bard's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    England
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    NalexElan both Gender switched. Probably been done before, but the dice have spoken.

    Spoiler
    Show
    "Bet you're glad I bought these bracelets now aren't you sis" a slightly drunk Elan said to the wall where Nale had been a moment ago. They're based on a girdle Royena used to have."

    "Shut up and fix me you useless bastard."

    "That's bitch now" Elan chuckled again. "Hey, how come your boobs are bigger than mine?"

    "I guess I'm just better than you as usual" Nale replied, her voice surprisingly deep considering her lithe frame.

    Grabbing her sisters breasts Elan found that they were not only bigger, but they were softer too. Squeezing them gently she was surprised when Nale didn't resist. Moving her left hand down Nale's side Elan reached her sister's waist, and in a single practised movement (the kind only a true Bard could accomplish) she pulled Nale's belt away from her. "Ha!"

    Nale's chest immediately deflated two cup sizes. "That'll teach you to steal my Belt of Charisma."

    "I don't care, just fix me now. Get this stupid bracelet off." She puled at it, but it wouldn't budge.

    "I think you've got bigger problems" sniggered Elan, holding the belt up.

    Nale immediately noticed that without it her pants had fallen to the floor. Scrambling to pull them up Elan interrupted her, using the belt to hold her arms up against the wall. "You're not getting away that easily cutie, lets go into the next room and....play. Sabine promised to show us a good time."

    Surprised by how much she lked that idea, Nale complied. "Ok sis, you the boss."

    Again terrible, but I have way too much free time. Feel free to ignore this abomination against pseudo-erotic literature.
    Last edited by Kobold-Bard; 2009-09-11 at 05:52 PM.
    Piratebold-Bard by Elder Tsofu | Backer #121 of the Giantitp Kickstarter | My homebrew
    Quote Originally Posted by OverlordJ View Post
    New law: Obey me or you'll be crushed by a MOUNTAIN.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •