Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

[The Dark Fiddler]

Hello, and welcome to the seventh Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Or, if you don't wish to read through all 300 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.

Sheriff of Moddingham: ...Seriously, if you want to continue crack pairings, keep it to fictional characters and board-appropriate.

Remember this.

When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!

Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!

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Zanaril's

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Funky Goose's

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Discord's

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Saeyan

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rangermania

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Trixie

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MReav

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Kaytara

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half-halfling

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licoot

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Felyndiira

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Tables!

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Initial Table
Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.

1. OotS Table 1
2. OotS Table 2
3. OotS Table 3
4. OotS Table 4
5. Minion List
6. Dead Guy List

Table 1 - By Minion992929

1. Roy
2. Durkon
3. Celia
4. Xykon
5. Tsukiko
6. Vaarsuvius
7. Monster in The Dark
8. Miko
9. Nale
10. Elan
11. Haley
12. Belkar
13. Lord Shojo
14. Redcloak
15. Hinjo
16. Daigo
17. Kazumi
18. Inkyrius
19. Roll again twice
20. Roll again and switch gender

Table 2 - By Minion 992929

1. The Guy with a halberd
2. Sarah Greenhilt
3. Haley's dad
4. Thanh
5. Julio Scoundrél
6. Mr. Rodriguez
7. Horace Greenhilt
8. Therkla
9. Zz'Dtri
10. YokYok
11. Leeky Windstaff
12. The Cliffport chief of police
13. Windstriker
14. Jirix
15. Lien
16. Argent
17. Yor
18. Roll again twice
19. Roll again on twice on Initial Table
20. Roll again and switch gender

Table 3 - By Minion992929

1. Soon Kim (incorporeal)
2. Shadowdancer
3. Hilgya
4. Dorukan
5. Bozzok
6. Crystal
7. Bandit King
8. Ancient Black Dragon
9. O-Chul
10. The Snarl
11. The Eye of Fear and Flame
12. Lord Kubota
13. Thog
14. Julia Greenhilt
15. Belkar
16. The oracle
17. Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
18. Roll again twice on Initial Table
19. Roll again twice
20. Roll again and switch gender

Table 4 - By Minion 992929

1. The dragon's hoard
2. The chimera
3. The really dangerous trap
4. Roy's Archon
5. The Hydra
6. Teevo
7. Xykon's zombie dragon head
8. Roy's sword
9. The entire Hobgoblin army
10. The orc chieftain
11. The IFCC
12. Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
13. Mr Scruffy
14. Hieronymus Grubwiggler
15. All of the Demon Roaches at once
16. Bone golem Roy
17. Roll again twice
18. Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
19. Roll again twice on Initial Table
20. Roll again and switch gender

Minion List -Made By MReav

1. Goblin
2. Hobgoblin
3. Kobold
4. Ogre
5. Lizardfolk
6. Bug-people
7. Azure City Soldier
8. Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
9. Orc
10. Owlbear
11. Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
12. Zombie
13. Ghoul
14. City Guardsman
15. Angel-thing
16. Ghost Martyr
17. Roll again on another table.
18. Roll again twice
19. Roll Again and invert alignment
20. Roll again for minion army

Dead Guy List -Made By MReav

1. Samantha
2. Sangwaan
3. Hobgoblin General
4. Azure City General
5. Death Knight
6. Huecva
7. Trigak
8. Earth Dungeon Guardian
9. Fire Dungeon Guardian
10. Kraagor
11. Mijung
12. Eugene Greenhilt
13. Old Blind Pete
14. Giant Devil
15. Buggy-Lou
16. Isamu.
17. Roll Again on a different table
18. Roll Again Twice
19. Roll Again and Switch Gender
20. Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0

Supplemental Plot Devices
Roll 1d4 (or more!)

1. Table 1
2. Table 2
3. Table 3
4. Table 4

Table 1 - By Nerdanel

1. Unrequited love
2. Love potion
3. Drunkenness
4. Snowed in
5. Stuck on a desert island
6. In the afterlife
7. Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
8. True love
9. Love/hate relationship
10. Adultery
11. Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
12. Pink frills and white lace
13. French maid costume
14. Police/military uniform
15. High heels and black leather
16. American high school setting
17. Someone is a vampire
18. Everyone is a furry version of themselves
19. Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
20. Roll again twice

Table 2 - by Sereg

1. Dream Sequence
2. Anonymous Dating Service
3. Bodyswapped
4. Meta
5. Curse
6. Spell gone wrong
7. Damsel/dude in distress
8. Lots and lots of angst (because then it will be true art)
9. Amnesia
10. Mistaken identity
11. Genre shift
12. Finding “new uses” for objects
13. The real world
14. Geas/Quest
15. Zone of Truth
16. Truth, dare or command
17. Voyeurism
18. In a playground
19. Roll again twice
20. Roll again on another table

Table 3 - by Sereg

1. Fulfilling an unusual fantasy (as demonstrated in Coffee Included’s V x Haley x Elan with Belkar watching fic)
2. Arranged marriage
3. Already married
4. Prostitution
5. Concubines
6. Inheritance of wealth and/or title from obscure dead relative
7. Class change/multiclassing
8. Team Evil is trying to save the world from the Oots’ plan to control/release the snarl
9. Past/future life
10. In 20 years from current comic
11. They discover that they are close relatives at the end
12. Disease
13. “The whole party is controlled by giant space cats and Xykon is from modern Earth”
14. Deus ex machina
15. With the author or another crack-pairer (not in the ship itself, though)
16. Narrated by somebody
17. On the web-site
18. Lampshading (roll again)
19. Roll again twice
20. Roll again on another table

Table 4 - by Sereg

1. While arguing with the author
2. It’s not them, it’s their players/character sheets/stat blocks/minis/dice (Yes, I know that this isn’t a game, but when have we let canon stand in our way?)
3. To make someone else jealous
4. To save the world
5. Mind-control
6. Twins separated at birth
7. This is what the snarl actually does
8. In a watery environment
9. While under attack
10. Because of a literal genie
11. Because if they don’t they’ll die/get unmade
12. On the rebound
13. In jail/a dungeon
14. While playing strip-(insert game here)
15. Wardrobe malfunction
16. On meds
17. As part of their therapy
18. With a giant
19. With a subversion/aversion/inversion/double subversion of (roll again)
20. Roll again twice

Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Story Index

Stories by Asta Kask

OOTS in Die Walküre
Elves and Ears
Elan/Therkla
Radic/someguyJanineknows
Asta Kask/Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius
Roy/Lloyd
Redcloak/V (love poem)

Stories by badam104172

Hinjo/Argent
Jirix/Redcloak

Stories by baf

Inkyrius/Zz'dtri

Stories by BatRobin

Belkar/Eye of Fear and Flame
Hilgya/YokYok
Julio Scoundrel/Entire Hobgolbin Army
Therkla/Vaarsuvius
Tsukiko/Jirix
Thog/Julio Scoundrel
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 1]
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 2]
Nale/Inkyrius
Xykon/Xykon

Stories by Belkster11

Roy/Elan [Part 1]
Roy/Elan [Part 2]
Roy/Elan [Part 3]
Hilgya/Inkyrius
Haley/Blackwing
Nale/Miko [Part 1]
Nale/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/MiTD
Haley/Belkster11

Stories by The Blackbird

Oracle/Flesh Golem Roy

Stories by TheBibliophile

Xykon/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Continued]
Vaarsuvius/The Lizardfolk Whores

Stories by CapedLuigiYoshi

Lien/Lien [Part 1]
Lien/Lien [Part 2]

Stories by Cire II

Miko/Durkon
Miko/Durkon

Stories by ClericOfBelker

Gender-swapped OOTS [Part "2"]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 4]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 5]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 6]
Belkar/Roy
O-Chul/ABD
Elan/Belkar/Haley/Roy
Roy/ABD
Closak/Black Dragons

Stories by Closak

Roy/Belkar/Ancient Black Dragon
ABD
ABD/Haley
ABD/Jirix
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Roy
ABD/Janitor
ABD/Thog
ABD/Belkar/Elan/Nale/Durkon/Redcloak/Jirix/Yikyik
ABD and Thog
ABD/Nale
ABD/Dragons

Stories by CoffeeIncluded

Elan/Julio Scoundrel
O-Chul/Lien
Haley/Roy's Sword and Sara Greenhilt/Soon Kim
Inkyrius/Belkar
Julia/Pompey
Pompey/Sabine
Xykon/Roy's Sword
Belkar/Hinjo
Crystal/Vaarsuvius
Zz'Drti/Nale
Shojo/Aarindarius
Daigo/Kubota
Vaarsuvius/IFCC
OOTS/Giant Sand Worm
Mr. Scruffy/Vaarsuvius
ABD/Guy with the Halberd
Elan/Cactus
Inkyrius/Inkyrius/Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Haley/Hanukkah Gelt
Miko/Inkyrius
Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Vaarsuvius/Elan/Haley
Celia/Haley
Elan/Shadowdancer
CoffeeIncluded/Vaarsuvius
Thieves' Guild/Grubwiggler
Ian Starshine/Bandit Leader
Vaarsuvius/Nale
Haley/Tsukiko
Haley/Crystal/Jenny
Argent/Hinjo/Lien
Elves and Protection Spells

Stories by Cracklord

Miko/Durkon
Inkyrius/Bozzok
O-Chul/Thog
Therkla/Crystal
Nale/The Shadow Dancer/Soulsplice
Tsukiko/Soon
Leeky Windstaff/Lord Kubota
Teevo/Thanh
O-Chul/Chief Grukgruk
Bozzok/Tsukiko/Crystal
Nale/Hinjo/O-Chul/Julia
Xykon/Thog
Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Raistlin Majere/Xykon/Tsukiko/Lien/Stanley the Tool/Winston Churchill
Xykon/Julio Scoundrel
Belkar/Jenny
Eugene/Ydranna
Bozzok/Haley
Lord Shojo/Julio Scoundrel
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien [The Beginning]
Julia Greenhilt/Xykon
Bozzok/Zz'Dtri
Julia/Roy's Sword
Durkon/Lien
Roy/Sabine
Shojo/Miko
Durkon/Lien
Belkar in Hell [Part 1]
Belkar in Hell [Part 2]
Belkar in Hell [Part 3]
Belkar in Hell [Part 4]
Belkar in Hell [Part 5]
Belkar in Hell [Part 6]
Soon Kim/Mijung
Durkon/Lien
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 1]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 2]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 3]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 4]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 5]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 6]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 7]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 8]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 9]

Stories by CurlyKitGirl

Elan/Banjo
Banjo/Haley
Sabine/Haley

Stories by Dak Frostwrath

Redcloak/Haley/Zz'dtri/Crystal/Hieronymus Grubwiggler

Stories by Dark Apprentice

Haley/Zz'dtri
Roy's Sword/The Really Dangerous Trap
Julio Scoundrel/Julia Greenhilt

Stories by The Dark Fiddler

Roy/Redcloak
MiTD/Entitre Hobgoblin Army
Celia/Gender-Flipped Celia
Crystal/Argent
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Nale/Tsukiko
The Oracle/Zz'Dtri

Stories by DarkElfGangsta

Julia/Nale

Stories by Dark_Stryke

Not for Everyone

Roy/Miko [Part 1]
Roy/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/Miko [Part 3]
Roy/Miko [Part 4]

It All Started With A Kiss

OOTS [Part 1]
OOTS [Part 2]
OOTS [Part 3]

Stories by Discord

Miko/Vaarsuvius
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Vaarsuvius/Mother Black Dragon
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Jirix/Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Roy/Celia
Vaarsuvius/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Part 2] [Continuation of ShinyDelusion's story]
Vaarsuvius/Haley

Stories by doliest

IFCC/Crystal
Windstriker/The Bandit King
Belkar/YokYok
Doliest/Dracula
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Snarl/Haley/O-Chul

Stories by Dra-Goon

Xykon/Kazumi
Sarah Greenhilt/Roy's Archon
Celia/Mr Scruffy
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Roy's Sword/Bone Golem Roy
Ancient Black Dragon/Tsukiko/Monster in the Dark
Haley/Vaarsuvius/Durkon

Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands

Roy/Belkar

Stories by DukeGod

Tsukiko/Jirix

Stories by Elan's Modron

Modron/Slaad

Stories by Elvenblade

Redcloak/Jirix

Stories by esmerelder

Roy/Vaarsuvius
Girard/Serini
Girard/Serini
Gender-swapped Order of the Stick
OOTS/OOTS
Haley/Hank
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 1]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 2]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
V/Belkar Spawnfic

Stories by EvilRoeSlade

Shadowdancer/Mr. Scruffy
Giant Devil/Zombie Army

Stories by Expeditious

Bone Golem Roy/Nale

Stories by Eztheria

MiTD/Xykon
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Felyndiira

Tsukiko/Xykon

Stories by Forevernade

Flesh Golem Roy/Crystal

Stories by Gicko

Vaarsuvius

Stories by Gimliggamer

Frodo/Entire Hobgoblin Army/Sam/Harry Potter
Elan/Redcloak

Stories by golentan

Mr. Rodriguez/Windstriker

Stories by gosh

Haley/Sabine
Roy/Inkyrius

Stories by half-halfling

Miko/Shojo

Stories by Hijax

The Oracle/The Really Dangerous Trap

Stories by icastflare!

Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Roy/Tsukiko/Teevo
Mr. Scruffy/Hobgoblin Army
Rogue Love

Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 1]
Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 2]
Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 3]
Haley/Elan [Part 4]
Haley/Elan [Part 5]
Haley/Elan [Part 6]

Vaarsuvius/Sabine/Nale
Durkon/Thor

Stories by Introbulus

The Cliffport Chief of Police/Kazumi
Hydra/Lien
Tsukiko/Roy's Archon
Lord Shojo/Jirix
Durokan/Haley
Belkar/Hinjo
Haley/Crystal
Kazumi/Durkon

Stories by jogiff

Tsukiko/Miko/Redcloak

Stories by Kaytara

Mr. Scruffy/The Snarl
Ancient Black Dragon/Inkyrius
IFCC Fiends/The Chimera Trigak
Banjo/Giggles
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 2]
ABD and Vaarsuvius
Belkar/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Kill Screen

Miko/Elan

Stories by Kirby

Celia/Vaarsuvius
Xykon/MiTD
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Soul Spliced Elan/Haley

Stories by Kitteh

Roy/Eye of Fear and Flame
Mr. Scruffy/Windstriker

Stories by KnightMysterio

Miko/The Snarl [Part 1]
Miko/The Snarl [Part 2]
Miko/The Snarl [Part 3]
Miko/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Kobold-Bard

Leeky Windstaff/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Nale/Elan

Stories by Kraggi

Incorporeal Soon Kim/Mr. Scruffy

Stories by Kyronea

Haley/Durkon

Stories by Kyuubi

Redcloak

Stories by Lawyergoblin

Brown-cloak/Haley
Redcloak/Celia [Part 1]
Redcloak/Celia [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 3]

Stories by lindorm

Soon Kim/Jirix

Stories by Lollie

Belkar/Tsukiko

Stories by Lord Mattos

Belkar/Roy

Stories by Lubirio

Tsukiko/Belkar

Stories by Lycan 01

Orc Chief Grukgruk/Haley/Kazumi
The Guy With the Halberd/Demon Roaches/Hydra
Daigo/Kubota
Yor/Belkar
Kazumi/Therkla
O-Chul/IFCC
Miko/Redcloak
Miko/Redcloak [Continued]
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
Hinjo/Redcloak
Crystal/The Chimera
Belkar/Roy's Sword
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 3]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 5]
Vaarsuvius/Elan
Eye of Fear and Flame/Tsukiko/Hot Pocket

Stories by MagicianMan5

Shadowdancer/Soul Splices
Haley/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Malkar Grumbo

Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 1]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 2]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 3]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 4]

Stories by Mariel Dragon

Haley/Belkar

Stories by MasamuneSSX

Miko/MiTD
Durkon/Sabine
Miko/Sabine
Miko/The Oracle
Miko/Vaarsuvius
ABD/The Oracle
Entire Hobgoblin Army/All The Demon Roaches
Haley/Roy [Part 1]
Haley/Roy [Part 2]

Stories by Meg

Redcloak/O-Chul
Tsukiko/Redcloak
Teevo/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Roy/Roy's Archon
Roy's Sword/Nale
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 3]
Redcloak/The Snarl
Miko/Haley
Jeff/Hilgya
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 2]
Kazumi/IFCC

Stories by Metalhead

Roy/Julia

Stories by mizzim

Haley/Nale
ABD/Miko

Stories by Monzach

Yokyok/Kobold Girl
Redcloak/Jirix
Bureaucratic Deva

Stories by Moofin Bard

Therkla/Diago/Lien/Crystal/The Hydra
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar [Continued]

Stories by Moon_Called

Haley/The Oracle

Stories by MReav

Tsukiko/Flesh Golem Roy
Lord Shojo/Belkar

Stories by Mr. Cales

Nale/Eastern Pantheon
Girard/Soon

Stories by NamonakiRei

The Snarl/Roy
Sarah Greenhilt/O-Chul
Miko/Oracle

Stories by Nathander

Celia/Thog
Lien/Hobgoblin Army
Daigo/Yokyok
Miko/Therka [Part 1]
Miko/Therka [Part 2]
Miko/Therka [Part 3]
Miko/Therka [Part 4]
Miko/Therka [Part 5]

Stories by NemoUtopia

Vaarsuvius/Black Dragon
Nale's next crazy plot to destroy the OotS

Therkla/Thog

Tsukiko's Ploy

Tsukiko/Xykon [Part 1]
Tsukiko/Xykon [Part 2]

Miko's Heart, Beyond Lawful Good

Miko/Matsumo [Part 1]
Miko/Matsumo [Part 2]
Miko/Karla [Part 3]
Miko/Hinjo [Part 4]
Miko/Shojo [Part 5]
Miko/IFCC [Part 6]
Miko [Part 7]
Miko/Roy [Part 8]
Miko/Kubota [Part 9]
Miko [Part 10]
Miko/Roy [Part 11]

Stories by Nerdanel

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC

Stories by The Odor

Shojo/Miko
Argent/Razor
Blackwing/Haley
Gender-switched Oracle/Oracle
Haley/Lien
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 3]
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Rodney McKay/Celia

Stories by Omergideon

Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius

Stories by Oooohaloophole

Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 1]
Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 2]

Stories by Pid6

Sarah Greenhilt/Hydra
Julio Scoundrel/Lord Shojo/Horace Greenhilt/Durokan/The IFCC

Stories by pnewman

Lien/Thog

Stories by PsychoPat

Nale/Haley and Elan/Celia
Haley/Vampire Shadowdancer
Redcloak/Tsukiko/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Sabine
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]

Stories by Ronnoc

Haley/Roy

Stories by RPGAgmJAY

O'Chul/Archon

Stories by Saeyan

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius

Stories by SaintRidley

Celia/TiVo

Stories by Sequinox

Spongebob/Julio Scoundrel
Mr. Scruffy/Dangerous Trap

Stories by Sereg

Roy/Celia
Xykon/Celia
Tsukiko/Horace Greenhilt
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 1]
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 2]
Dragon's Hoard/Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Durkon/Death Knight
Pit Fiend/Zz'dtri
Therkla/Thieves Guild Member
Durkon/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Snuggles
Therkla/Banjo
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Julia/Durkon
Belkar/Nacle
Belkar/Crystal
Vaarsuvius/Haley's Personality Aspects
Haley/Celia
Roy/Eugene
Julio Scoundrel/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Miko [Part 1]
Thog/Miko [Part 2]
Thog/Miko [Part 3]
Thog/Miko [Part 4]
Thog/Miko [Part 5]
Sereg/Tsukiko
Sereg/Lien
Sereg/Inkyrius
Sereg/Vaarsuvius
Sereg/Celia
Sereg/Haley
Sereg/Lirian
Sereg/Sabine
Hobgoblin General/Roy’s Sword/Roy’s Archon/Person in Distress
Durkon/Tree
Ghouls/Belkar [Part 1]
Ghouls/Belkar [Part 2]
Hieronymus Grubwiggler/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lizardfolk/Durkon
Mary Sue/OOTS
A Twisted Tail

Hieronymus Grubwiggler/His Wife [Part 1]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler's Wife [Part 2]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler's Wife [Part 3]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler [Part 4]

Banjo/Xykon-doll
Xykon/Tsukiko
Tsukiko/Crypt Thing
Miko/Jirix/Really Dangerous Trap
Vaarsuvius/Dark Mistress Shadowgale
More than Just Duty

Miko/Sangwaan [Part 1]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 2]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 3]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 4]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 5]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 6]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 7]

Haley/Zz'dtri
Body and Soul

Tsukiko/Shinji
Tsukiko/Shinji

Stories by Sewblon

Redcloak/Xykon

Stories by ShinyDelusion

Julia/Thog
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 3] [Continuation from Discord's part]
Belkar/Matt
Elan/Haley/Roy
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Janine/Lloyd
Nale/Sabine
When in Rome

[Part 1]

MitD/Tsukiko
Aula/Tiberius/Aarindarius

Stories by ShneekeyTheLost

Tsukiko/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Silverraptor

Belkar/Nale
Miko/Hinjo
Inkyrius [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Julia/Celia
Crystal/Belkar
Haley's Dream
Guy with the Halberd/Girl with the Halberd
Kazumi/Daigo
Kubota/Lien
Ceila/Mr Rodriguez
Tsukiko/Oracle
Elan/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Somniloquist

Nale/Therkla

Stories by Sstoopidtallkid

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Scorpion
Weasel/Matt
Vaarsuvius/Dragon

Stories by Symmys

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 3]

Stories by Taekwondodo

Hinjo/Zz'dtri
Bozzak/Mr Rodriguez
Elan/The Cliffport Chief of Police
Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Nale/Julio Scoundrel
Thanh/Female NPC
Windstriker/Argent
Edward/Tsukiko
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 1]
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 2]
Mr. Scruffy/Lord Shojo
Ian Starshine/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Blackwing/Tiasal

Stories by Tatterdemalion

Miko/Soon Kim
Windstriker/Celia
Thog/Ian Starshine
MiTD/Haley
Nale/The Entire Hobgoblin Army

Stories by Thor Person Guy

Kazumi/Lord Shojo

Stories by Tira-chan

Roy/Elan
Therkla/Nale/Sabine
Haley/Mr. Scruffy

Stories by TooManySecrets

Roy/Xykon

Stories by TSED

Julia Greenhilt/The Chimera

Stories by waterpenguin43

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Hilgya/Durkon
Miko/Tsukiko

Stories by Water-Smurf

In the Arms of Morpheus

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]

Icelus

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius

Curse of Phobetor

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 14]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 15]

Tragedy of Hypnos

Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]

Pasithea's Messenger

Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 3]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 4]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 5]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 6]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 7]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 8]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 9]

Bridge Across the Stars

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius

All in the Family

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius

Before the Storm

Redcloak/Vaarsuvius

In Vino Veritas

Belkar/Vaarsuvius

Claude Os, Aperi Oculos!

Belkar/Vaarsuvius

Quos Amor Verus Tenuit, Tenebit

Belkar/Vaarsuvius

Acta Non Verba

Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]

Pawns of the Gods

Mijung/Yutrin [Part 1]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 2]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 3]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 4]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 5]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 6]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 7]

Dumped on the Rooster

Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 3]

Stories by Weimann

Jephton/Haetra/Ganonron/Julia Greenhilt/Jirix
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD!
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! [Continued]

Stories by WhereamI?

Belkar/Vaarsuvius

Stories by Xesirin

Daigo/Elan
Miko/Daigo

Stories by Yiuel

Roy and Celia's Son/Elan and Haley's Daughter
Therkla/Yiuel
OOTS Jr. [Part 1]
OOTS Jr. [Part 2]
Miko/Sangwaan

Stories by yubel

Stewie Griffin/Thog

Stories by Zanaril

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Xykon/Vaarsuvius
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko [Continued]
Mr Rodrigez/Gender-Swiched Mr Rodrigez
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [continuation of Discord's story]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Blackwing/Lizard Vaarsuvius
The IFCC/Zombie Dragon Head
Vaarsuvius/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius
Tass/Crack Pairings Thread
Vaarsuvius/Julio Scoundrel
Closak/ABD
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/MitD
CoffeeIncluded and Haley
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius

Stories by Zen_Heart

Belkar/Zz'dtri
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]

Stories by Ziren

Tsukiko/Durkon
Tsukiko/Lord Kubota
Cliffport Chief/Nale
Bandit King/Redcloak

Stories by Zolkabro

Durkon/Demon Roach

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Art Compilation
A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.

Art by BatRobin

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Tiasal (version one).


Tiasal (version two).

Art by Belkster11

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Sangwaan and Hinjo.

Art by CoffeeIncluded

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Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius and their children.


CoffeeIncluded and Haley.


CoffeeIncluded and Haley.

Art by Delorges

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Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


Miko and O-Chul.

Art by Discord

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Vaarsuvius and Miko.


Tsukiko and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.


Lirian and Aarindarius.


Haerta and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius, Tsukiko, and their child.


Miko and Vaarsuvius.


Haley and Vaarsuvius.


Roy and Elan.


Aarindarius and Lirian.


Haley and Celia.

Art by Expeditious

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Vaarsuvius and Blackwing.


Vaarsuvius.

Art by Eztheria

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Tiasal and Vaarsuvius.

Art by Funky Goose

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A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story.


Half-dragon child of Belkar.


Young Roy and the Little Psion that Could.

Art by Gicko

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Zombie Dragon/ABD.


Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

Art by half-halfling

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Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.


Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.


Tsukiko and Jirix.


Haley and Vaarsuvius.


MiTD and Tsukiko.


Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.


Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


Tiasal and Terentius.


Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.


Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.


Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.


Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.


Aarindarius.


Roy and Miko.


Therkla and Miko.


Elan, Roy, and Miko.


A scene from Water-Smurf's fanfic, featuring Haley, Roy, Elan, and a mysterious creature.


Aarindarius and Inkyrius.


Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.


Lord Shojo and Miko.


Celia dressed up as Miko, and Roy.


Celia, Roy, Bureaucratic Deva and other Deva.

Art by Kaytara

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Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Roy.


Vaarsuvius and Roy (coloured version).


Young Vaarsuvius.


Spliced Inkyrius.


Vaarsuvius and Miko.


Vaarsuvius and Miko (coloured version).


Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Mr. Scruffy, Belkar, Vaarsuvius, and Blackwing.


Aarindarius.


Aarindarius.


Aarindarius (coloured version).


Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child.


Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child (coloured version).


Right-Eye and Redcloak.


Tiasal, Xykon, and Tsukiko.


Tiasal.

Art by Kirby

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Haley and Vaarsuvius.


Spliced Elan.

Art by licoot

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MitD.

Art by Meg

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Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


Belkar.


Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.


Vaarsuvius and Roy.


Xykon and Redcloak.


Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Tsukiko and Redcloak.


Tsukiko and Redcloak (coloured version).


Spliced Inkyrius.


Vaarsuvius.


Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Celia and Vaarsuvius.


Redcloak and Xykon.


Haley and Roy.

Art by MReav

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O-Chul and female members of the Sapphire Guard and Azurite soldiers.

Art by The Neoclassic

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Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend.


Evil Lien.

Art by Ninjamuffin

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Elan and Nale.

Art by Oooohaloophole

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Tiasal as an infernal scion.


The Dark One and a goblin god (?).


Tiasal.


Tiasal.


Tiasal.


Tiasal.


Tiasal.

At by Reynard

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Durkon and a goddess.


The Snarl, Hades, and Persephone.

Art by Saeyan

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Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.


Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.


Aarindarius and Inkyrius.


Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.


Inkyrius.


Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.


A wanted sign for Zanaril.


A wanted sign for Zanaril (version 2).


Vaarsuvius.


Inkyrius and Aarindarius, with Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri in chibi form.


Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.


Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius, and Aarindarius.


Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius.


Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and V&RC's child.


Tiasal.


Vaarsuvius.


Tsukiko.


Scenario for Water-Smurf, featuring Tiasal and Redcloak.


Vaarsuvius and Aarindarius.


Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.


Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.


Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.


Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius.

Art by Tira-chan

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Spock and Vaarsuvius.

Art by TooManySecrets

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Female living Xykon.

Art by Trixie

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Celia and Belkar.


Xykon, Tsukiko, and Miko.

Art by Yiuel

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"The OOTS Jr."



OOTS Jr.


OOTS Jr.


OOTS Jr.


OOTS Jr.


Joan.


Tiasal.


Alex.

Art by Zanaril

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Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon.


Miko and Vaarsuvius.


Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Xykon.


Spliced Inkyrius.


Spliced Inkyrius.


Spliced Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.


Young Vaarsuvius.


Tiasal.


Argent and Windstriker.


Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.


Child of Closak and the ABD.


Haley and Vaarsuvius.


Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, and Tiasal.


Xykon and Tsukiko.


Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.


Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko (coloured version).


Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.


Xykon and Tiasal.


Evil Kitty.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Also, wouldn't the title be better as "...our drinks are spiked"?

Maybe. I don't want to call down mod wrath though since drinks often carries an alcoholic connotation and many thread members are not of the drinking age.

Now I'm back to studying for my trip to Japan this summer.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hooray! Crack pairings for everyone!

*Passes around cookies*

Oh, and Valentine's Day is next week...

[Asta Kask]

So... we seem to be going through these at about one thread per month... which means we need more names!

Because I am a big romantic at heart, I would like one to be called "Omnia vincit amor - Love conquers all."

And another one should be called "Auribus tenere nympham." (means "I hold an elf by the ears". At least I hope it does.)

[Zanaril]

Maybe. I don't want to call down mod wrath though since drinks often carries an alcoholic connotation and many thread members are not of the drinking age.

Well, if you say so. I'll never understand why it's such a touchy subject.

Anyway:

You sure V knows that one? Besides, in my mind,

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A smart Xykon would confiscate V's spellbook. That way, even if the spell is in there, she would be unable to access it.

If V has just been rezzed, it's not a case of confiscating it; it's a case of not giving it back. I doubt he would have kept it for 16 years anyway.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Well, if you say so. I'll never understand why it's such a touchy subject.

Well, your Location says England, so that may explain it.

Alcohol is much more a part of daily life in Europe, if my Spanish teacher is to be believed.

Regardless, better safe than sorry.

And everyone remember to update banner links. (Smurf, your banner still links to thread 5 )

[Asta Kask]

Can I repeat my request for a drawing.

Soul-spliced V stands over a clearly beaten Tiasal and says

"I'm your mother."

And Tiasal responding

"...No. No. It's not true! That's impossible!"

*Looks with pleading eyes at the artists of the thread*

[Water-Smurf]

I can think of several ways to resolve this, but I think they become illegal when Deirdre gets older.

Eh?

She's going to try to give him the cold shoulder, but of course that would only encourage him. However, I think if it got to the point where he was physically forcing her to do something, she'd give in and would instead try to mentally distance herself from it.

Vaarsuvius knows how to mentally distance herself from things going on at the moment. Redcloak doesn't have so much experience.

Honestly, Xykon doesn't seem the type to have any reservations about what he does. I could easily see him ordering her to take her clothes off and then walking off laughing, just to make her scared and embarassed and confused. He wouldn't do that immediately, but once he been flirting with her long enough to get both her and Reddy worried, he would take it up a notch.

I could see him making her do that a few times, and then as she got used to it, starting to touch her.

Would she even tell Redcloak about this?

V's probably going to rebuke any sympathy Reddy shows; she'd see it as him making excuses instead of actually doing something to get them away from there. Maybe she'd even start seeing him as a coward; especially if Xykon spends the whole time telling her his point of view.

This could drive a real wedge between them. That could be the last thing either of them can handle at the time. Vaarsuvius is going to be angry and is going to want to be far away from him, and that will cause both of them nothing but pain. She loves him and he is the support she needs, especially now, and he loves her and she's the only person capable of instilling hope and gumption in him. If they don't think they have each other, they really don't have hope to get out.

Not sure about writing, but I could try. And I could certainly do some drawing.

Whoot! :D

They start unwillingly becomming attracted to them because with a charisma score that high it's almost a supernatural ability.

How could Redcloak deal? I mean, he knows how charming Xykon is. And he'd be able to see what was happening to Vaarsuvius. Even if he knew it's not her fault, it'd be hard to not be a little hurt.

Maybe. But she would hate herself for it. (Unless Xykon managed to redirect that hate towards Reddy.)

Maybe that's a reason for him to actually keep up what he was doing, besides just interest. If he gets her resentful enough of Redcloak, then he rips Reddy's support out from under him. And if he gets her to actually enjoy even some of the things he does, he makes her hate herself, undoing her own support and depriving her of Redcloak's support because of the aforementioned resentment. There will be no way for them to organize themselves to escape.

Wait, what?!

Well, Deirdre already has an Electra Complex, so there's Deirdre/Redcloak and Deirdre/Xykon there, (and Deirdre/Elan, Deirdre/Roy, Deirdre/Belkar, Deirdre/Durkon, and Deirdre/Aarindarius, but that's only if they turn up...) and she seems to be developing a 'thing' for incest and pseudo-incest (or did I not make her attraction to Abram and her brothers obvious enough?), so it becomes... a love dodecahedron.

And everyone remember to update banner links. (Smurf, your banner still links to thread 5 )

Oh! Huh. Whoops. 'Tis fixed.

[Asta Kask]

How could Redcloak deal? I mean, he knows how charming Xykon is. And he'd be able to see what was happening to Vaarsuvius. Even if he knew it's not her fault, it'd be hard to not be a little hurt.

The thing is, with Xykon's Bluff score (Bluff is a class skill for Sorcerers, right?), it's not impossible that if Redcloak walked in on a... session, Xykon could convince him that it was V who wanted it all along. He really is that convincing.

[The Dark Fiddler]

The thing is, with Xykon's Bluff score (Bluff is a class skill for Sorcerers, right?), it's not impossible that if Redcloak walked in on a... session, Xykon could convince him that it was V who wanted it all along. He really is that convincing.

Indeed it is a class skill, but Redcloak, as a Cleric, would have a high Wisdom score. I wouldn't be surprised if he did something to get a better Sense Motive score (cross-class ranks, magic item, spell, or something), since I'm sure you find a lot of back-stabbers when you work with evil, and he'd get a huge circumstance modifier to the check. It's not incredibly likely, but it's possible he'd see through the bluff.

Still, Xykon probably has max ranks in bluff and a Charisma score past 30, for a bonus to his bluff check of at least +35, as a conservative estimate. Redcloak's Sense Motive would be with the circumstance modifier (let's say +20) and and his Wisdom (let's say 26 for a +8, but it might be as high as 30) and he comes up with a +28... so it doesn't look good. Unless he did, in fact, put cross-class ranks in or get an item, which could easily be another +7 for a total +35, making it look a bit better, if it weren't for the fact that Xykon's Charisma is probably higher than 30 and likely has more than 24 ranks in bluff like I assumed for the calculations.

...this came out a lot longer than I intended. And I don't even remember which point I was arguing for.

[Zanaril]

Would she even tell Redcloak about this?

No, I don't think she would. She'd be embarassed, and would consider it something that she had to deal with on her own. She doesn't want pity, and she knows there's nothing Redcloak can do to help; in her opinion, all that telling him would do is to cause more problems. She'd probably just keep telling herself that Xykon would eventually get bored and that the problem would go away on it's own.

How could Redcloak deal? I mean, he knows how charming Xykon is. And he'd be able to see what was happening to Vaarsuvius. Even if he knew it's not her fault, it'd be hard to not be a little hurt.

He'd keep trying to warn her about what Xykon was doing. I don't think V would appreciate the help.

Maybe that's a reason for him to actually keep up what he was doing, besides just interest.

: Watching those two argue is more entertaining than anything the Teevo picks up these days.

But yes, once he realized how useful it would be. And it would certainly be cruel irony to let them be together only to drive them apart.

Well, Deirdre already has an Electra Complex, so there's Deirdre/Redcloak and Deirdre/Xykon there, (and Deirdre/Elan, Deirdre/Roy, Deirdre/Belkar, Deirdre/Durkon, and Deirdre/Aarindarius, but that's only if they turn up...) and she seems to be developing a 'thing' for incest and pseudo-incest (or did I not make her attraction to Abram and her brothers obvious enough?), so it becomes... a love dodecahedron.

...That's a lot of alternative endings.

I'm not sure Deirdre/V would work though. Maybe that should be the one pairing that Vaarsuvius gets let off on.

[ShinyDelusion]

Yay! New thread!

Welcome, Symmys! My first post was in the Crack Pairings thread too! Hope to see your story soon.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Wait, what happened to Tia?!

[Zanaril]

Wait, what happened to Tia?!

In one of W-S's fics (the one on DeviantArt) she sided with Xykon and changed her name to Deirdre.

[Water-Smurf]

The thing is, with Xykon's Bluff score (Bluff is a class skill for Sorcerers, right?), it's not impossible that if Redcloak walked in on a... session, Xykon could convince him that it was V who wanted it all along. He really is that convincing.

Can Bluff really pull that off? I mean, Redcloak knows Vaarsuvius and he knows Xykon--if Vaarsuvius told him that Xykon forced her and was lying, it's a lot more plausible than Vaarsuvius wanting the lich who had been sexually harassing her for a while get her naked and touch her.

No, I don't think she would. She'd be embarassed, and would consider it something that she had to deal with on her own. She doesn't want pity, and she knows there's nothing Redcloak can do to help; in her opinion, all that telling him would do is to cause more problems. She'd probably just keep telling herself that Xykon would eventually get bored and that the problem would go away on it's own.

After all they've gone through, I think that Redcloak would be more hurt that she didn't come to him than he would be over nearly anything else she could do. Xykon would revel in the whole thing, but Redcloak would be devastated by the prospect that Vaarsuvius was being hurt and she was embarrassed to say anything to him about it.

But combined with the above, it could make the idea that she wanted Xykon to touch her a little more plausible in his eye if she hadn't mentioned anything. I'm not sure if he'd feel worse about the prospect of her cheating on him or her not telling him when she was hurt.

He'd keep trying to warn her about what Xykon was doing. I don't think V would appreciate the help.

She wouldn't be, but he'd be insistent. He wouldn't want her to be drawn into Xykon's web.

: Watching those two argue is more entertaining than anything the Teevo picks up these days.

But yes, once he realized how useful it would be. And it would certainly be cruel irony to let them be together only to drive them apart.

Do you think that Tiasal has hope to bring them back together somehow?

...That's a lot of alternative endings.

I'm not sure Deirdre/V would work though. Maybe that should be the one pairing that Vaarsuvius get let off on.

Ironically, Deirdre has a bigger bone to pick with men loving her than she does with women. She considers women spiteful, like Tsukiko, but ultimately harmless, also like Tsukiko. Men were the ones to hurt her, and in some sadomasochistic way, she hurts herself and them by sleeping with them, except for Xykon, who she only hurts herself to sleep with. To tell the truth, she actually was attracted to Redcloak, Octavius, Terentius, Abram, and to Right-Eye once she started really going down the crazy roller-coaster. The love Tiasal has for them is refracted through Deirdre's broken psyche into something perverse. Vaarsuvius is safe from this because she's a woman and Tiasal never knew her, but if she turns up and unwittingly builds a relationship with what's left of Tiasal, Deirdre's psyche will refract it again in processing.

[The Odor]

YAY!!!!!! NEW THEARD SMELL!!! *Is running in circles*

[The Dark Fiddler]

Can Bluff really pull that off? I mean, Redcloak knows Vaarsuvius and he knows Xykon--if Vaarsuvius told him that Xykon forced her and was lying, it's a lot more plausible than Vaarsuvius wanting the lich who had been sexually harassing her for a while get her naked and touch her.

It all depends on how big of a circumstance modifier RC gets to his Sense Motive check, as I explained earlier.

But that's if you want to go by the rules. I personally don't think that if it were just a story with no D&D RC would buy it.

Vaarsuvius is safe from this because she's a woman and Tiasal never knew her, but if she turns up and unwittingly builds a relationship with what's left of Tiasal, Deirdre's psyche will refract it again in processing.

I dunno, we have a hard enough time telling what V's gender is. Would V being her mother be enough to let her tell?

[Zanaril]

But combined with the above, it could make the idea that she wanted Xykon to touch her a little more plausible in his eye if she hadn't mentioned anything.

It would take a lot more work than just lying to Reddy, but I think it would be possible for Xykon to do. Especially if V has started to hate Redcloak at that point.

I'm not sure if he'd feel worse about the prospect of her cheating on him or her not telling him when she was hurt.

Depends: how jelous is Reddy? How much of his love for her is caring about her being happy, and how much is wanting her to be happy with him? (And some of it is the latter; no-one is completely altruistic.)

She wouldn't be, but he'd be insistent. He wouldn't want her to be drawn into Xykon's web.

Except if they were already being driven apart at that point it would just make V annoyed. Maybe she would feel he was blaming her for falling into a 'obvious' trap? (Which would then make her less likely to tell Reddy what Xykon was doing to her..)

Do you think that Tiasal has hope to bring them back together somehow?

I don't know. It's a nice idea, but I'm not sure what Tia could do to help.

To tell the truth, she actually was attracted to Redcloak, Octavius, Terentius, Abram, and to Right-Eye once she started really going down the crazy roller-coaster.

I guessed she didn't rape Reddy just for revenge.

Vaarsuvius is safe from this because she's a woman and Tiasal never knew her, but if she turns up and unwittingly builds a relationship with what's left of Tiasal, Deirdre's psyche will refract it again in processing.

One of Deidre's main complaints is that she exists at all; there's a lot of insults she could use based on the idea that V shouldn't have slept around. And for the same reason I can see them getting along, I can see them really hating each other.

[Lix Lorn]

XD
That is a LOT of alternate endings. XD

[Aaron]

Hooray! Crack pairings for everyone!

*Passes around cookies*

Oh, and Valentine's Day is next week...

*grabs cookies and glomps them, but still leaves plenty to share*

Hooray for the new thread! We need to start doing special Valentine's Day pairings!

[Water-Smurf]

It all depends on how big of a circumstance modifier RC gets to his Sense Motive check, as I explained earlier.

But that's if you want to go by the rules. I personally don't think that if it were just a story with no D&D RC would buy it.

Hmm...

I dunno, we have a hard enough time telling what V's gender is. Would V being her mother be enough to let her tell?

I think that Tiasal would be very confused, though I'm hoping that the hormones would help make V look just a little more feminine.

It would take a lot more work than just lying to Reddy, but I think it would be possible for Xykon to do. Especially if V has started to hate Redcloak at that point.

I doubt she could ever hate him, no matter what she tells herself. And if Redcloak actually thought that she was cheating on him, after she got over the initial indignant reaction, she would be devastated. She would try to convince herself that she was just furious that he let himself get fooled by Xykon, but she'd still be furious at herself for letting their relationship degrade to the point where he could conceive of that. She wouldn't want to lose him.

But she'd probably be too proud to apologize unless she really thought he was going to leave her for good.

Depends: how jelous is Reddy? How much of his love for her is caring about her being happy, and how much is wanting her to be happy with him? (And some of it is the latter; no-one is completely altruistic.)

Yeah, he wants her to be happy with him. He wants to be able to be with her and to raise Tiasal together and be just a happy family. But I think that he'd prefer that she'd be happy with another man than be unhappy with him. He loves her desperately, but he'd be happy as long as she was her--as long as she was still that wide, proud, open fire that he fell in love with, even if she was with someone else, he'd be happy just being close by and letting the flames warm him.

Metaphors aside, his love is definitely partially wanting her to be happy with him, but it's mostly wanting her to be happy and alive.

That being said, if he thought that she had been his and then he suddenly found out that she wasn't without warning, he would feel very jealous and deeply hurt.

Except if they were already being driven apart at that point it would just make V annoyed. Maybe she would feel he was blaming her for falling into a 'obvious' trap? (Which would then make her less likely to tell Reddy what Xykon was doing to her..)

I could see her getting that idea. And I can see Redcloak being devastated that she thought he meant that and then didn't say anything about Xykon because of it.

I don't know. It's a nice idea, but I'm not sure what Tia could do to help.

She is something that guarantees that, even if they break up, they're still connected. They both love her and want her safe, and they both need to work together to get her out of this dangerous environment.

I guessed she didn't rape Reddy just for revenge.

And if she ever gets her hands on her brothers, her cousins, her surrogate fathers, or her uncle without needing to immediately kill them, she won't seduce and/or rape them purely for revenge either. But revenge is a big part.

One of Deidre's main complaints is that she exists at all; there's a lot of insults she could use based on the idea that V shouldn't have slept around. And for the same reason I can see them getting along, I can see them really hating each other.

Would Vaarsuvius be able to hate her? Yeah, she's raped her father and killed her brothers, but can a mother ever really hate their daughter, especially when it's obvious she's off her rocker and needs help desperately?

But yes. Deirdre is not happy with her mother and probably has something planned for her.

[Lix Lorn]

Poor Deidre has more complexes than most psychiatrist's entire clientele.

...on another note, i want some water. Any around?

[Zanaril]

But she'd probably be too proud to apologize unless she really thought he was going to leave her for good.

In which case she'd be left completely alone.

That being said, if he thought that she had been his and then he suddenly found out that she wasn't without warning, he would feel very jealous and deeply hurt.

If he thought V was willingly in a relationship with Xykon, what would he do then? Would he still try to get himself and Tiasal (and V?) away from there, or would he back down, return his attention to the Plan, and try to look after Tiasal as best he could in the circumstances?

She is something that guarantees that, even if they break up, they're still connected. They both love her and want her safe, and they both need to work together to get her out of this dangerous environment.

And if they get distracted over their own issues, Tiasal's the one who is going to suffer the most (at least the most unfairly), either short term (at the hands the the Master) or long term (by going insane).

Would Vaarsuvius be able to hate her? Yeah, she's raped her father and killed her brothers, but can a mother ever really hate their daughter, especially when it's obvious she's off her rocker and needs help desperately?

Not hate her daughter herself then, but she'd hate what Deirdre - not Tiasal - represented.

...on another note, i want some water. Any around?

I don't think I'm allowed to give anyone anything anymore.

[Water-Smurf]

Poor Deidre has more complexes than most psychiatrist's entire clientele.

Oh yeah...

...on another note, i want some water. Any around?

Depends. Are you under-age?

In which case she'd be left completely alone.

I don't think that Redcloak is capable of not loving her, though Vaarsuvius would disagree. She's his fire. Even if she betrayed him, he would still love her.

He has a thing for always loving people. Right-Eye, Tiasal/Deirdre, Vaarsuvius...

If he thought V was willingly i a relationship with Xykon, what would he do when? Would he still try to get himself and Tiasal (and V?) away from there, or would he back down, return his attention to the Plan, and try to look after Tiasal as best he could in the circumstances?

He'd want Tiasal away from Master, but he'd lose his will to leave the Plan. Vaarsuvius was the only one who gave him the strength and bravery to face the concept that he had killed his brother for nothing, but without her, he only has Tiasal to live for. As long as she's safely tucked away, he'd quietly go back and work on the Plan. Xykon wouldn't need to threaten him anymore. He'd have nothing left.

And if they get distracted over their own issues, Tiasal's the one who is going to suffer the most, either short term (at the hands the the Master) or long term (by going insane).

And that's why they would have to work together, even if they were fighting. They love her and they are both smart enough to realize that they can't let her grow up under Master and in Xykon's influence.

Not hate her daughter herself then, but she'd hate what Deirdre - not Tiasal - represented.

That, she could hate. She'd probably use any means necessary to bring down Deirdre, even if it meant chaining her to a bed and forcing pills down her throat. But she'd love Tiasal, just as Redcloak and Right-Eye and her brothers and cousins and family do.

But Tiasal would hate herself horribly if she ever became herself again.

[Aaron]

I don't think I'm allowed to give anyone anything anymore.

I find that to be a good thing. Now I won't have to heal up poisoned Water-Smurf (and Coffee) as often.

[NemoUtopia]

1) New thread is new! Sort of. It had to be said

2) Welcome newcomers!

3) In terms of grammar, commas are the bane of my existence...I tend to overuse, which is sometimes worse than under. I can't shake thinking of commas as short pauses AND subject changes or additions. That's its own thing. The real bugger is that while writing these I haven't had a second reader over my shoulder...when I get caught up in the process, my fingers sometimes try to keep up with my brain by dropping words. Only, when I read it on my own in the same day I fail to register that there's a problem: my brain fills in the dropped word as if it's there. As such, most of my non-spell-check-catchable words are fixed by retro edit in a forum environment, which is part of my process today and tomorrow. I'll be re-reading parts one through nine, as well as Tsukiko's and my Thog/Therkla, specifically for these problems and fixing them. If you spot something you feel is wrong, please feel free to PM me about it! I welcome the extra eyes because it usually takes a few days for my brain to read the text with a truly critical eye towards grammar. Part 10 is about halfway done...again, it's long. Like two to three parts long, but will all be one part. Then, of course, is Part 11: The Finale which should be a normalish length addition.

[Lix Lorn]

Poor Dierdre/Tiasal/V/Redcloak...

Why no, i am not underage. I can drink if i wish too. XP

[Meg]

*late to the party*

New thread! Woo! I feel like a bum 'cause I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation that hasn't already been said by someone more eloquent than me.

On an exciting note, I had my first speech tournament today, and I did pretty well. Also, it turns out my speech coach is also an OOTS fan, so we talked about SOD while we were waiting for the bus.