Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

[The Dark Fiddler]

What? No comment about me fiddler? I thought we were friends
Just kidding.

I rather liked the update.

I usually don't comment much anymore though, so I don't get repetitive.

Also, I counted, and as long as Evil!V counts, there are 13 Vaarsuvius in the banners. 12 banners have V in them (one has two V).

[Silverraptor]

I rather liked the update.

I usually don't comment much anymore though, so I don't get repetitive.

Also, I counted, and as long as Evil!V counts, there are 13 Vaarsuvius in the banners. 12 banners have V in them (one has two V).

Uh oh. And the banner I'm working on has a V in it as well. What is it about ambigously gendered elves that we like so much?

[Taekwondodo]

I rather liked the update.

I usually don't comment much anymore though, so I don't get repetitive.

Also, I counted, and as long as Evil!V counts, there are 13 Vaarsuvius in the banners. 12 banners have V in them (one has two V).

That's out of 28 banners though so it isn't as if it's half of them. (yet)

[Kyronea]

I... I think it IS a bit too risque.

Sorry, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, I won't be adding it to the OP (nice work though!)

Shoot.

That's okay. I knew it probably would be when I was making it.

Next time I'll try to keep it cleaner.

Silverraptor: Nice update. Poor V, though. I'd have thought Kyrie would go after Haley first, for seducing her and all.

[The Dark Fiddler]

That's out of 28 banners though so it isn't as if it's half of them. (yet)

...doesn't that mean it's impossible then?

Unless we get more banners with multiple Vs in them.

[ClericOfBelker]

Spoiler

Show

"Well that was fun." Said Vaarsuvius
"Yeah," Said Bella Bitterleaf(Belkar) "good thing I to-err borowed Harry's bow"
"Well what are we going to do now?" Said Ratchel(Roy)

They were just outside the old Azure City wall. Hobgoblin(ette) corpses were on the ground, or hanging limply on the wall.

"I don't know." Said Ratchel "Lets just go back to the inn. Harry(Haley) and Elane(?,Elan) must have figured out whats going on by now."


Meanwhile, the fiends has had a very bad few days.

"THIS STINKS!!!!!!!" Shouted fiend
"Yea," said fiend "but-STOP SHOUTING ALREADY!!!"

Spoiler

Show

I'M BACK!!!!!!!

[Zanaril]

Evard's Spiked Tenticles of Forced Intrusion

Somehow, I just knew this would make an appearence.

[BatRobin]

Miko x Jirix with True Love.


Umm...

[Silverraptor]

Somehow, I just knew this would make an appearence.

[Malkar Grumbo]

And a part III to the Kyrie story (How did I get into this situation?)

Spoiler

Show

Well, let's get a move on.

Clouds of different colors swarm up around the fiends as they summon themselves to a different domian.

Right, I'll get to work on that popcorn.

*Pop* So, I guess we just watch what happens next.

Oh most definately. Huddle around the couch. Wait... It just shows the place we offered the deal.

Qarr, do you have it set to the wrong setting?

Ummm... I don't know. Do I?

Yes he does, it's set to location.

From where he's making popcorn. Awww... we're missing the beginning.

Not to worry, I have this under control. Timestop button. *Click*

What are you doing?

He's stopping time while we try to catch up on what's happening. Or atleast I think he is...

Where is that button?!

Here, let me do it. Takes remote and fiddles with it. Ah! There we go.

Comes over with popcorn. Yes, you got it to work. There's are former customer now.

I still can't get use to that familiar.

Shhh. Turn it up.

"-sufferable buffons!"

"Now, now, V. You kept forgetting about me as well."

"Yes! But I explained your existance about you earlier today, and they apparently have forgotten our disscusion!"

"Well, I'm not really bothered. Though it's probably beause I'm used to it."

"Ya, well... My roaming band of remember-not group is trying my patience. I hope that I won't-"

*Pop*

"Suvie! We have unfinished business!"

"Great elven gods! Is that... Inkyrius?! What-"

"Silence! You know very well what has happened. Can yo-"

...

What the heck? Why'd it stop.

We finally caught up to the present.

Right, stopping time freeze then. *Click*

"-u guess what?"

"Uh... You made the same deal with the fiends I used when I returned home as an act of vengence against me?"

"Yes, very good. Though now I understand why you didn't want to part with this lovely power." Flys down closer to Vaarsuvius. "But understanding won't stop me from getting vengence of what you pulled in the court house."

"Wait, Inkyrius, please understand! It was not my intension to perform such a method as to going that far-"

"SILENCE!! Bigby's Grasping Hand!"

A large arcane hand grabs Vaarsuvius by the arms and hoists the elf into the air.

"What are you-?"

"Extracting my revenge through a similar method you tricked me. I know for a fact you don't have the still spell feat when I fell asleep that one time with the rope. How many hours were you tied to the bed again?"

"Holy Crap!! I'm getting help V!!"

"No you're not you carion bird! Hold Monster!"

Blackwing freezes and falls to the ground.

"Now where were we? Ah, yes." A wicked grin appears on Inkyrius's face upon seeing the helpless elf dangling from the arms.

"Please, Inkyrius! I beg you to put your emotions aside for one moment and listen to my explinat-"

"Quiet! I would silence you, but I want to hear you screams. Evard's Spiked Tenticles of Forced Intrusion!"

"WHAT!!! HOW DID YOU GET ACCESS TO THAT SPELL!!!!"

"Shouldn't have left your spare spellbook at home, honey."

Ahhh!! I can't watch!! The three fiends close their eyes or look away.

Hurry! Mute it! Quick! As the yells of the elf rings in their ears. At once, there is silence.

Whew! That's a relief.

It certainly is. Can you imagine what could be happening now?

Why imagine it? It's on the screen.

Speaking of which. How will we know when it's over?

I'm not quite sure...

Wait... Why isn't Qarr saying anything?

The three fiends look around at the hovering imp as he's staring wide eye'd at the screen with his mouth open.

Um... Qarr?

And with a thunk, the imp falls and lands onto the floor.

Wow. I didn't know you take non-lethal damage by watching something before.

Especially enough to knock you out.

Bends down and picks up the imp and inspects more closely.

Wait! Some of this damage is Lethal!

And the three fiends look at each other, wide eye'd and slowly leave the room.

Thought I'd end with a joke. How'd you guys like it? I plan to do more. (Oh, woe is me)

Dear merciful gods. If I didn't feel sorry for V before, I do now. That has to hurt on so many levels. Anyone want to make a donation to the Vaarsuvius Posterior Replacement Fund? Your donation of 3000 GP will help pay for the massive amounts of surgery V needs to even walk after all the crack fic he/she has been in. So please donate and help the most unfortunate elf on OotS world out.

[Meg]

Dear merciful gods. If I didn't feel sorry for V before, I do now. That has to hurt on so many levels. Anyone want to make a donation to the Vaarsuvius Posterior Replacement Fund? Your donation of 3000 GP will help pay for the massive amounts of surgery V needs to even walk after all the crack fic he/she has been in. So please donate and help the most unfortunate elf on OotS world out.

Sounds like a worthy cause. Is it tax-deductible?

[Malkar Grumbo]

Sounds like a worthy cause. Is it tax-deductible?

Of course!

[Ookami50]

Maybe we should just him/her drift to death, and be rid of this crack fic. (Although it probably still won't stop)

[Silverraptor]

Geeez, you guys are making me feel bad.

[Kyronea]

Geeez, you guys are making me feel bad.

Sometimes, the road of the crack can be a lonely one, filled with pain...

Yet at the end of the road, there is always a tunnel of light.

...

Or something.

[Taekwondodo]

...doesn't that mean it's impossible then?

Unless we get more banners with multiple Vs in them.

No. We have 28 banners just now 12 of which have at least one v.

If we get 4 more banners each with one v then there will be 16 banners out of 32, which is half. Another one and there will be 17 out of 33 which is just more than half. That is, of course, if we only get banners with (at least one) v in them.

[Kaytara]

And a part III to the Kyrie story (How did I get into this situation?)

Spoiler

Show

Well, let's get a move on.

Clouds of different colors swarm up around the fiends as they summon themselves to a different domian.

Right, I'll get to work on that popcorn.

*Pop* So, I guess we just watch what happens next.

Oh most definately. Huddle around the couch. Wait... It just shows the place we offered the deal.

Qarr, do you have it set to the wrong setting?

Ummm... I don't know. Do I?

Yes he does, it's set to location.

From where he's making popcorn. Awww... we're missing the beginning.

Not to worry, I have this under control. Timestop button. *Click*

What are you doing?

He's stopping time while we try to catch up on what's happening. Or atleast I think he is...

Where is that button?!

Here, let me do it. Takes remote and fiddles with it. Ah! There we go.

Comes over with popcorn. Yes, you got it to work. There's are former customer now.

I still can't get use to that familiar.

Shhh. Turn it up.

"-sufferable buffons!"

"Now, now, V. You kept forgetting about me as well."

"Yes! But I explained your existance about you earlier today, and they apparently have forgotten our disscusion!"

"Well, I'm not really bothered. Though it's probably beause I'm used to it."

"Ya, well... My roaming band of remember-not group is trying my patience. I hope that I won't-"

*Pop*

"Suvie! We have unfinished business!"

"Great elven gods! Is that... Inkyrius?! What-"

"Silence! You know very well what has happened. Can yo-"

...

What the heck? Why'd it stop.

We finally caught up to the present.

Right, stopping time freeze then. *Click*

"-u guess what?"

"Uh... You made the same deal with the fiends I used when I returned home as an act of vengence against me?"

"Yes, very good. Though now I understand why you didn't want to part with this lovely power." Flys down closer to Vaarsuvius. "But understanding won't stop me from getting vengence of what you pulled in the court house."

"Wait, Inkyrius, please understand! It was not my intension to perform such a method as to going that far-"

"SILENCE!! Bigby's Grasping Hand!"

A large arcane hand grabs Vaarsuvius by the arms and hoists the elf into the air.

"What are you-?"

"Extracting my revenge through a similar method you tricked me. I know for a fact you don't have the still spell feat when I fell asleep that one time with the rope. How many hours were you tied to the bed again?"

"Holy Crap!! I'm getting help V!!"

"No you're not you carion bird! Hold Monster!"

Blackwing freezes and falls to the ground.

"Now where were we? Ah, yes." A wicked grin appears on Inkyrius's face upon seeing the helpless elf dangling from the arms.

"Please, Inkyrius! I beg you to put your emotions aside for one moment and listen to my explinat-"

"Quiet! I would silence you, but I want to hear you screams. Evard's Spiked Tenticles of Forced Intrusion!"

"WHAT!!! HOW DID YOU GET ACCESS TO THAT SPELL!!!!"

"Shouldn't have left your spare spellbook at home, honey."

Ahhh!! I can't watch!! The three fiends close their eyes or look away.

Hurry! Mute it! Quick! As the yells of the elf rings in their ears. At once, there is silence.

Whew! That's a relief.

It certainly is. Can you imagine what could be happening now?

Why imagine it? It's on the screen.

Speaking of which. How will we know when it's over?

I'm not quite sure...

Wait... Why isn't Qarr saying anything?

The three fiends look around at the hovering imp as he's staring wide eye'd at the screen with his mouth open.

Um... Qarr?

And with a thunk, the imp falls and lands onto the floor.

Wow. I didn't know you take non-lethal damage by watching something before.

Especially enough to knock you out.

Bends down and picks up the imp and inspects more closely.

Wait! Some of this damage is Lethal!

And the three fiends look at each other, wide eye'd and slowly leave the room.

Thought I'd end with a joke. How'd you guys like it? I plan to do more. (Oh, woe is me)

Zanaril or Funky Goose, you totally need to make a banner of this. Nothing says "Crack Pairings" like a wickedly grinning Soul-Spliced Kyrie chasing a terrified Vaarsuvius with Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Yes.... I can already hear the screams of the innocent non-crack forumites when they glimpse that particular signature in one of our posts in the discussion threads. This has to happen.

Muahahahaha!

[mizzim]

Zanaril or Funky Goose, you totally need to make a banner of this. Nothing says "Crack Pairings" like a wickedly grinning Soul-Spliced Kyrie chasing a terrified Vaarsuvius with Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Yes.... I can already hear the screams of the innocent non-crack forumites when they glimpse that particular signature in one of our posts in the discussion threads. This has to happen.

Muahahahaha!

Oh, god. Mental Image. Brain bleach is too weak for this.


*gets out hot lava*
*pours it over brain*
ahhhhhhh........

Wait, No, I CAN STILL SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zanaril]

Zanaril or Funky Goose, you totally need to make a banner of this. Nothing says "Crack Pairings" like a wickedly grinning Soul-Spliced Kyrie chasing a terrified Vaarsuvius with Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Yes.... I can already hear the screams of the innocent non-crack forumites when they glimpse that particular signature in one of our posts in the discussion threads. This has to happen.

Muahahahaha!

Well now the mental image is in my head, and the only way to get it out is to put it somewhere else. A banner seems as good a place as any.

[Silverraptor]

Zanaril or Funky Goose, you totally need to make a banner of this. Nothing says "Crack Pairings" like a wickedly grinning Soul-Spliced Kyrie chasing a terrified Vaarsuvius with Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Yes.... I can already hear the screams of the innocent non-crack forumites when they glimpse that particular signature in one of our posts in the discussion threads. This has to happen.

Muahahahaha!

Oh no you don't! I called this! I make it and that's final!

[Kaytara]

Oh no you don't! I called this! I make it and that's final!

I'm certainly not going to try and stop you.


...Doesn't mean we can't have more than one person make a banner of that pairing, though. xD You should be happy it's so popular (even in a oh-my-gods-I-just-have-to-get-it-out-of-my-head-and-onto-virtual-space-so-I-can-sleep-again-way).

[Zanaril]

Oh no you don't! I called this! I make it and that's final!

Too bad; I've already finished Spliced!Inky.

Spoiler

Show

I think I'm having far too much fun with this. (BTW, are the colours I used too dark? The coat should look dark green, but not black.)


However, I'd love to see other people's takes on what soul-spliced Kyrie would look like.

[Silverraptor]

Too bad; I've already finished Spliced!Inky.

Spoiler

Show

I think I'm having far too much fun with this. (BTW, are the colours I used too dark? The coat should look dark green, but not black.)


However, I'd love to see other people's takes on what soul-spliced Kyrie would look like.

Oh well. But I make a banner. I love how you made soul splice Kyrie. I'll use that one.

[Zanaril]

Oh well. But I make a banner. I love how you made soul splice Kyrie. I'll use that one.

We can both make a banner!

[Silverraptor]

We can both make a banner!

That's what I meant. But I must have typed it wrong. Sorry.

[Zanaril]

That's what I meant. But I must have typed it wrong. Sorry.

I was just stating the obvious becase I had nothing else to say.

[Kaytara]

Wow! Zanaril, that is amazing! O.O Evil has never looked so good. The dark green looks pretty black to me, but I think I like it that way.

Do you... do you mind if I use it? :D You know, as an avatar? Pretty please?

[Zanaril]

Wow! Zanaril, that is amazing! O.O Evil has never looked so good. The dark green looks pretty black to me, but I think I like it that way.

Do you... do you mind if I use it? :D You know, as an avatar? Pretty please?

Sure. Here's an avater-sized version:

[Kaytara]

YES! Thank you! *hugs*

[Silverraptor]

Wow! Zanaril, that is amazing! O.O Evil has never looked so good. The dark green looks pretty black to me, but I think I like it that way.

Do you... do you mind if I use it? :D You know, as an avatar? Pretty please?

So. No more Ranger walking against the wind?