LGBTitp 4: We are family

[Bookworm42]

Hello, just found this thread on the forum, and being a member of my local LGBT, I figured I would stop in and say hi.

[Admiral Walrus]

Howdy, Bookworm.

An issue that pertains to us younger LGBTitP, (and for the older):

How do you deal with "That's so gay." or "What a f*g comments."?

I'm trying to stand up to them more, but it's really tough when there's a large group saying the comments. I think that complacency is like surrender.

Question? Comments? Opposing viewpoints? Interesting tidbits?

[Serpentine]

I think "gay" as a derogatory term can be quite disconnected from "homosexual" (similar to, but not quite as far as, I only recently connected "spazzy" to "mentally disabled people), but it's pretty understandable for you to be insulted. Any use of "***" is pretty unoffensive - except things like "*** hag"? Not totally sure about that last, no doubt it depends on context.

But, I'm not gay, soooo... <.< >hands over to the people actually asked<

[Green Bean]

Statements like that are really offensive, and it drives me bonkers. But responding can be tricky. On one hand, keeping quiet creates the false impression that it's harmless. On the other hand, direct confrontation doesn't usually lead to them stopping, and isn't really pleasant for the confronter. Plus, statements like that are generally a sign of immaturity, not malice.

If you want to object to these kinds of statements, work the immaturity angle instead of the offensiveness angle. Not hurting people's feelings is one thing, but looking like a 12 year old Halo player in front of your friends is another. You may also want to talk to the more reasonable people in the group privately. You may find that others feel the same way you do, but don't want to publicly object.

@ Serp

I've actually heard the opposite; *** is offensive unless you're homosexual or talking about British cigarettes, while *** hag is somewhat less so. Then again, I'm in the 'straight but not narrow' category too, so I can't be totally sure. And then there's regional or personal differences. There's no great LBGT hivemind that decides these things, after all.