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  1. - Top - End - #781
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    So here's a not so good written, but still brain liquifying story about the love between Thog and Sabine

    Chapter 1 : Nale's depart
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    Nale, Thog and Sabine are in a cheap inn discussing :

    Nale : Team, we have to destroy my brother and his team of retarded adventurers.

    Thog : Thog like not-nale and ice cream!

    Nale : No Thog, you don't like Elan, you hate him!

    Thog : Thog hate not-nale?

    Nale : Yes!

    Thog : Ok, then.

    Sabine : Can we come back to the subject, please?

    Nale : Ok, so I'll leave for a week or so to find my brother and his team, while, you will stay here.

    Sabine : With Thog?

    Nale : Yes, he's a barbarian he can protect you.

    Thog : Nale leave Thog with demon girl?

    Nale : Yes Thog and be gentle with her.

    Sabine : I don't want to stay with Thog.

    Nale : You will!

    Sabine : Please, don't leave me with Thog.

    Nale : I'm leaving now so do what you want but with Thog.

    Sabine : But sweetheart!

    Thog : Bye, Nale don't hurt Not-Nale.

    Nale : Shut up!

    Nale then left the inn leaving Thog and Sabine alone for a week.


    Chapter 2 : It ain't easy being green
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    Thog and Sabine are in the same room, the silence is suddendly broke by Thog :

    Thog : Wanna get some ice cream?

    Sabine : No!

    Thog : Demon girl say that cause Thog is green.

    Sabine : No, that's not because of that...

    Thog : It's because demon girl fat and ugly.

    Sabine : What did you say! You worthless piece of soylent green.

    Thog : Lawyer behind you!

    Sabine : What?

    Thog : Nothin'

    Thog : Thog's sad, demon girl not funny and happy with him

    Sabine : Please, don't cry Thog.

    Thog : Thog's not crying, Thog's sad, because Thog want ice cream.

    Sabine : Let's go get some ice creams.

    Thog : Can you hold my hand?

    Sabine : ...

    Thog : ?

    Sabine : Yeah, Thog.

    So they went, hand in hand, to the ice cream parlor.


    Chapter 3 : Highway to hell
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    After they ate their ice creams Thog and Sabine were still holding hands.

    Thog : Demon girl can stop holding Thog hand now.

    Sabine : Yeah. (Blushes)

    Thog : What do we do next?

    Sabine : I need to go to talk to my superiors for now, I'll be back soon.

    Thog : Take the highway.

    Sabine : What?

    Thog : It's faster!

    Sabine left the room through a portal and left Thog alone.

    Thog : Thog find demon girl nice to Thog just like a puppy, if Thog could have one.

    Thog then went to sleep. The next day when he woke up Sabine was in the same bed as him.

    Thog : What is demon girl doing!?

    Sabine (Woking Up) : I was scared and wanted you to protect me.

    Thog : Thog think demon girl don't like Thog

    Sabine : You're pretty nice in fact, Thoggy.

    Thog : Who?

    Sabine : And the fact that you're dumb as mud is cute.

    Thog : Like a puppy

    Sabine : Yeah, like a puppy.

    They then went back to sleep together, Thog holding Sabine in his arm to protect her.


    It's all I have for today, I'll make more soon, or not, if everybody thinks that my story is a worthless piece of green soylent.

  2. - Top - End - #782
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Ok, so here's the next

    Chapter 4 : Love is forever
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    When she woke up, Sabine admire Thog and his strong half naked green body.

    Thog (Awake) : What is demon girl doing?

    Sabine : (Blushes) Nothing.

    Thog : It's ok, Thog loves Thog's strength score too.

    Sabine : So what do we do, today?

    Thog : Thog and demon girl could just stay here.

    Sabine : Good idea!

    They stayed all the day in the inn. But at night a man entered the inn yelling :

    Man : This is a hold-up, don't move or I kill that girl, taking Sabine in hostage.

    Thog : Let demon girl free or Thog smash your head.

    Man : No, The man yelled slitting the troath of Sabine.

    Thog : No!

    Thog charged the man, impaling him on his axe and swinging it in every walls to make sure the man is really dead, he then runned to Sabine and took her in his arm.

    Thog : Demon girl don't die!

    Sabine : Thog.. I...

    Thog : Please, what do demon girl want to say to Thog

    Sabine : Love... You...

    Sabine then died in the arms of Thog, Thog for the first time in his brutal half-orc life was crying, because he lost the only love he ever had. Not knowing what to do now, he made what Nale said him to do, wait for Nale, so, he waited with the corpse of Sabine for 4 days until Nale arrived.

    Nale : Hello Th... Oh my god, Sabine's dead, you killed her, you monster.

    Thog : Thog didn't killed demon girl, Thog loved demon girl.

    Nale : You lie! I'll kill you for this monstrousity!

    Thog : Thog don't want to fight Nale!

    Nale : That will make it easier for me.

    Nale charged Thog, Thog didn't want to kill Nale but it was the only thing to do, so he swinged his axe inside the head of Nale killing him in one hit.
    Last edited by PsychoPat; 2009-08-25 at 06:29 PM. Reason: Worst Ending Ever

  3. - Top - End - #783
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Scotland
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    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Water-Smurf possibly even better than Zanaril's. It's really well written and made me go "Awwwww".

    PsychoPat it started off well but seemed to go downhill.

    Everyone else Elan x TCCoP will come soon!
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  4. - Top - End - #784
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    you might be an assassin!
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    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Water-Smurf possibly even better than Zanaril's. It's really well written and made me go "Awwwww".

    PsychoPat it started off well but seemed to go downhill.

    Everyone else Elan x TCCoP will come soon!
    i agree. its a very fine line between Water-Smurf and Zanaril. they both made me go awwww, but zanarils story didnt beat around the bush, like Water-Smurf. Zanaril got right to the point. just thank the gods he did not provide explicit details. now water-smurf, your story was captivating, with the obvious that it is a love/hate thing going on. i mean, Redcloak still wanted to heal Vaarsuvius even when he forgot why, and i'm guessing that the reason V wont trance is because less because of nightmares, and more about her/him wanting Redcloak in the same room. anyway, both very captivating storys, and physhocat, next time, when using main characters, use the smilies for when they speak. its easier. and try to make the characters stick with their given personalities. thats what Zanaril and Water-Smurf did. And i still dont haveany feed back on how terrible my story was.

    click this egg or all dragons will die!

    __________________
    I Am A
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    True Neutral Human Druid/Wizard (1st/1st Level)


    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 10
    Dexterity- 10
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 13
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 10


  5. - Top - End - #785
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Scotland
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    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    And i still dont haveany feed back on how terrible my story was.
    Fine, it was seriously terrible in all senses of the word.

    Not really! Though it seemed a tad half-hearted it was an intriguing solution to writing a pairing (or it would have been if someone hadn't done it first).
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  6. - Top - End - #786
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Aug 2009
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    Lurkers Anonymous

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    Zanaril got right to the point. just thank the gods he did not provide explicit details. now water-smurf, your story was captivating, with the obvious that it is a love/hate thing going on.
    Ah yes, MM5 took the words right out of my mouth. But I think with a pairing like Redcloak and V the initial enmity is far deeper than V and Z's could ever be (I think), so the slower progression is to be expected. Though it's true that V/Z descends into madness whatever really fast - maybe Zanaril's fic could use slightly more story padding in between. But not too much. The cuteness must prevail in the end.

    Anyway, Water-smurf (I think I've seen you on FF.net?): the character development is great; they stuck to their canon personalities very well. Though I can't really see myself drawing a goblin for it. Yet.

    And i still dont haveany feed back on how terrible my story was.
    You should have continued it. I'd love to see how V/Haley pans out.

    This forum thing seems to be quite addictive. Oh dear.

  7. - Top - End - #787
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Aug 2008
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    Scotland
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Here we go Elan x The Cliffport chief of police, snowed in.
    Some additional info: this is set a LONG time before Cliffport battle, even before the events in On the Origins of PC's.

    Spoiler
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    The Cliffport chief of police woke up in a cold sweat. Every night it was the same dream, the same laughing face ending his life with one blow of his sword. He sighed, he really needed a holiday.

    X X X

    Well this was nice. He had managed to wrangle a couple of days away from the force and was staying in a quaint hotel in the snowy mountains close to the dwarven lands. Cliffport may be going to ruin without him but for now he was determined to enjoy himself. Looking at the visitor book it seemed the only other room was also booked. Maybe he would meet them sometime tomorrow. For now he went to his room and tried to get some sleep.

    He woke up early the next morning, the thrice-cursed nightmare still running through his head. Exact details were vague but he was sure he would remember that madly grinning face for the rest of his life. Deciding it was late enough to get up he got dressed and left his room. Heading into the small dining room he noticed two people already seated at a table, probably the other guests. One, a blond-haired man, was sitting with his back to him and the other was dressed as a paladin. He didn’t hold with paladins. They always thought everything could be solved by casting “detect evil”, one of the reasons he wouldn’t have it used in his town. Just then the other man turned to look at him and all thoughts of paladins were pushed aside to make way for white hot terror. It was him! That face, so often grinning sadistically in his dreams as he expired in a pool of blood. He turned and ran back to his room, slamming the door and leaning against it. Could his dream have been a premonition? Was this man going to kill him? But he was with a paladin! Why would someone working with a paladin want to kill him? And look so evil while doing so. Maybe this holiday was a bad idea after all.

    Sometime later the sound of retreating hoof beats broke through his contemplation. Maybe they had left! He looked out the window but could not tell, through the furiously falling snow, whether both had gone or just one. Deciding he would risk it, he was creeping along to the front desk to see who had signed out when from the other room came a distressed “Oh not again!” The blond-haired man ran straight past him and headed for the front door. Trying to follow the paladin, however, was not even remotely feasible as by now the snow was falling so thick and fast that even leaving the hotel would be dangerous. Closing the door again he walked back past the chief and sat on his bed, even the air around him speaking of misery. The chief was surprised. This lad didn’t look capable of killing someone; in fact he seemed close to tears about being left here. He looked so sad that the chief was moved to try and comfort him. He walked across and sat beside him on the bed.

    “What’s wrong?”

    “I think I lost my job, again.”

    “Again?”

    “Yeah, I used to work for…”

    As he listened to blonde’s life story, nodding occasionally, he was thinking. God, he’s really pretty close up, and so sweet and naive. I really want to kiss him, but what if he doesn’t go that way? I’m probably too old for him anyway. Damn it, I’m going to kiss him anyway; and leant over and did so, stopping him in mid sentence. Soon the only noises were the rustle of clothing and the occasional soft sigh. Afterwards the chief fell into his first dreamless sleep in months.

    X X X

    Back in Cliffport there was a lot of work to do, paperwork and such but occasionally he would stop with a smile on his face. The other cops noticed and teased him about it.

    “Holiday romance Chief?”

    “Yeah, something like that.”


    Damn, I'm good!!

    EDIT: Feedback, Feedback, Feedback, Feedback, Feedback, Feedback, Feedback PLEASE!

    EDIT2: I expect feedback when I get back. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
    Last edited by Taekwondodo; 2009-08-25 at 11:51 AM.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  8. - Top - End - #788
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I can respect that.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  9. - Top - End - #789
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Aug 2009
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    Among the spiders
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    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Already done with the third chapter! I don't think I've written that fast since... actually, since last week, probably. *shrugs*

    You know the drill.

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    Redcloak frowned at the table, staring at the shadows made by the people sitting around it and the firelight. He didn’t really need to keep listening. He knew what Jirix was telling him, Tsukiko, and most importantly, Xykon.

    The phylactery still wasn’t found, and the preliminary tunnel had already been searched by hand three times over by an entire small army’s worth of hobgoblins. That left the sewage treatment plant, the labyrinth, and the… ocean.

    He could feel Xykon slowly heating up in pure, unadulterated fury at the head of the table.

    Redcloak inwardly sighed, cursing his vow to protect all goblin kind.

    “That’s enough, Jirix.” Redcloak stood up, giving Jirix a small glare, trying to communicate the fact that he had to get out of the room as fast as possible. “Organize teams of our most trusted soldiers and start by searching the treatment plant.”

    Jirix got the unspoken message loud and clear. He immediately grabbed the reports he had lain out in front of himself, not bothering to take the time to sort them, and zipped out of the room.

    “So. We still don’t have my phylactery, Redcloak.”

    Xykon’s voice was dangerously soft. Redcloak’s eyes remained fixed on the table. Tsukiko shifted nervously, standing from her chair and backing up slowly from the table.

    There weren’t any windows in this dark stone room. The only light came from the torches on the wall. Redcloak had a feeling that it used to be a dungeon.

    Why did he concentrate on architecture when he was probably about to be killed?

    “That’s what he just said.”

    Xykon’s empty eye sockets stared darkly at Redcloak. Heat was gathering, the lich its crux. “This is because of your ‘sources of information.’”

    “You can’t kill them. They’re the only ones who we have that can tell us anything about the locations of the next gates.”

    “Oh yeah.” Xykon sneered. “Like that’s what you want. We’ve had the damn paladin for months and we have nothing. And I’ve noticed the nights you’ve gone missing to the elf.”

    Redcloak frowned, a weird shock of surprised cold stabbing through his chest. “What are you implying?”

    “Implying nothing. I’m saying that you’re sleeping with the damn thing.”

    Redcloak shook his head, rubbing his temples. Of course that was where Xykon’s mind would go. Oh well. It wasn’t important. “Xykon, we’re doing all we can to find the phylactery. Try to be patient just a lit—”

    “I’M DONE BEING PATIENT!”

    Redcloak was blown back along with the table. He found himself with what felt like twelve tons of stone table crushing his ribs and squeezing the life out of his organs. His eyesight exploded in red, and he couldn’t feel his arms…

    “IT’S BECAUSE OF YOUR FRICKING PRISONERS!”

    A spell—Redcloak didn’t have the time to see what—slammed into his face, cracking his head against the floor and eliciting a weird popping sound from his neck. He felt blood going down his face, and he had a feeling that some of his scales had been blown off.

    He was having trouble breathing and blinding, excruciating pain was bulleting through his ribs. The table was on them. They were breaking and bursting or collapsing his lungs. He needed to be healed quickly.

    “Oh, you want me to stop?”

    Nothing felt as cold as the lich hand grabbing his head firmly.

    “Let me tell you, Reddy—we’ve barely gotten started.”

    ---

    Tsukiko scrambled out as soon as Xykon was too distracted to somehow randomly shift his fury onto her.

    She closed the door behind her, breathing a soft sigh of relief. Jirix was standing there, his papers clutched to his chest, his eyes wide. The sound of Redcloak’s beating was bouncing off the walls, no doubt striking the fear of the twelve gods in the hobgoblin’s heart.

    “Is there a reason you’re still here?”

    Jirix looked up quickly, trying to shake off the nervousness that generally arose when one heard one’s Supreme Leader being beaten to a bloody pulp in the next room. “I… had a message for the Supreme Leader.”

    “Give it over to me.” Tsukiko started walking jauntily through the hall towards the spiral staircase. “Looks like I’m taking over Reddy’s job for the next… month it’ll take for him to heal up from this. Not like Xykon’s going to let him just heal himself.”

    Jirix frowned, but followed her slowly with his papers clutched. “Then I’ll handle the paperwork, but you should know that the elven prisoner refuses to sleep.”

    The theurge glanced back at Jirix, a slight smirk playing across her face. “Awww, she misses Reddy?” She shrugged. “Why are you telling me this? Figure it out for yourself.”

    “The Supreme Leader likes to handle the prisoners personally.”

    “I’m sure he does. I don’t know, go give her warm water with orange or something. That’s what Granny always did for me.”

    “Warm orange water?”

    “Or drug her. Or give her a glass of scotch. Or just not bother with it.” Tsukiko shrugged and started climbing the stairs. “Forget about the sleep thing and concentrate on finding Xykon’s phylactery. If the prisoner wants to exhaust herself, let her.” She paused on one of the steps. “Do you know if she’s a she or a he?”

    Jirix made a small shrug.

    “Huh. I’ll ask Reddy at some point.”

    With that, Tsukiko started up the stairs again.

    ---

    It was freezing. That was all Redcloak knew. He didn’t feel pain, just cold.

    None of the fires were burning. Xykon was gone. He wasn’t quite sure how long had passed, but it must have been at least a day. And he was having severe hypothermia. One of the major disadvantages of having cold blood.

    He was probably seriously hurt.

    His fingers were numb. He lightly ran the tips of his claws over his body, feeling for any holes or abnormalities. Instead of feeling his scales, he found the hard surface of the table.

    Redcloak weakly pushed it off. Blood drained back to his body, but the lack of feeling didn’t lift. He struggled to breathe. It felt like there were a bunch of important things broken inside of him. He was too cold to really feel the pain that must have been screaming from everywhere.

    He ran his claws lightly down his body again, looking for something life-threatening, and one of them snagged on a post-it note. He groaned softly and brought it up to his eyes, concentrating until his temples started pulsing with pain, trying to make out what was written in the lack of light.

    ‘If you do anything but the healing you need to live through tomorrow, I’ll make sure you don’t even see tomorrow.’

    Redcloak pulled the paper off his claw, letting it flitter to the ground. He gingerly put his hands on his stomach, struggling to breathe. “Cure Minor Wounds.”

    This pain got through the hypothermia. He threw his head back, cracking it on the ground, and screamed as his ribs turned to molten bone and reformed partially and his organs started trying to rearrange themselves correctly. His own voice bounced off the stone, deafening him, but he had to keep going.

    “Cure Minor Wounds!”

    He could taste blood in his mouth, rolling inside his throat. His eyes were boiling in their sockets. His body was bucking against him, screaming to make the pain stop.

    “Cure Minor Wounds!”

    His body gave one last mighty roar and then slipped into the blissful numbness of hypothermia.

    Redcloak let his arms fall limp on the cold stone ground, his claws letting out loud clacking sounds. His scales were moist. His breath was hot. His blood was everywhere…

    He needed to snap out of it and get to his study. It was the closest room where he could lick his wounds for a bit.

    He reached out and scrabbled at the ground, trying to find some purchase, and his claws latched on to the seams in between the stones. He pulled himself forward slowly, dragging against the floor, and slowly slipped away from the blood and overturned table. He dragged himself to the wall and laboriously got to his knees.

    Despite common sense, he praised the Dark One for the existence of hypothermia. It relieved what he was sure would have been horrible pain otherwise.

    He struggled with the door for a moment before opening it up and dragging himself to his feet. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, he staggered into the hall, holding his ribs gingerly, and slowly walked to his study.

    Redcloak had never felt as grateful as when he could sit down at his chair in front of his desk.

    He sat there for a while, letting the hotter temperature provided by the fire on the walls and in the hearth banish the numbness, gritting his teeth against the wave of pain that washed over him.

    Pain had a tendency to make time fade away. Redcloak had no idea how long he was just sitting there, wondering whether or not it would be worth it to ‘accidentally’ fall on the ground and re-break one of his ribs to make it stab his heart or something. Slowly, he swiveled his head to make up for his lost eye and glanced at the clock.

    Either it had gone back in time or it was at least twenty-four hours since his beating.

    Redcloak would say that he had been out for about two days, judging by the condition his body was in. He tentatively prodded himself everywhere, stifling soft groans of pain and trying to accurately decide how much damage he’d taken.

    His final analysis was ‘enough.’

    He glanced up at the clock again, automatically remembering that it was almost time for him to go to the elf or it wouldn’t sleep. He stood up slowly, testing out his legs before putting too much weight on them and deciding that they could deal with walking. He slowly padded into the next room, which was his personal kitchen for the late nights he’d have researching and he wanted tea. On autopilot, he checked the small fridge tucked into the corner that he supplied himself with and grabbed a small tea kettle from on top of it, pouring milk into it slowly before setting it on the stove and turning on the flame.

    Still not quite sure why he was doing that or if his brain had finally decided to quit and was just giving out random electrical impulses in its death throws, he closed the fridge door and walked into the bathroom, slowly stripping off the bloody clothing.

    He was careful to make sure that the shower water was lukewarm. He didn’t want to kill off his body tissue with a violent swing from hypothermia to scalding water. Redcloak used his claws to wash out the blood clotted and congealed between scales, careful to keep from hurting himself more, and checked his open wounds a little more closely. None of them were still bleeding and he didn’t think that most of them were really deep. He would live. It’d hurt, but he’d live. The worst he had at the moment were bruised ribs and pain.

    Drying off is always easy with scales and no hair. Redcloak pulled on a clean cleric’s outfit before limping back to the kitchen, pouring the now-boiling milk into a thermos. He added a little honey and cinnamon to it, making sure to stir before closing it up. He quickly bandaged a few of the worst of his injuries to make sure they wouldn’t reopen before picking up the thermos and a book and walking out of his chambers back into the hall.

    He wasn’t paying much attention while he walked through the hallway and climbed the stairs. He was too preoccupied with the pain in his torso. It was only when he saw the stone door with the gold ring that he remembered why he was up there.

    Redcloak wondered briefly why the prisoner was still a priority right after he wakes up. He was probably getting a touch desperate for company that wouldn’t be snarky, break his ribs, or constantly call him ‘Supreme Leader.’

    Should he be angry at the prisoner for his current condition? After all, the elf was the reason he was punished.

    He entertained the idea for a moment. Anger was always so satisfying. Blame was always so sweet.

    But he shrugged it off soon enough. He was too mature and intelligent to allow himself to submit to such a base instinct. He could be angry at the elf for being an elf. He could be angry at the elf for the undoubtedly dozens of goblins it had wantonly killed. He could be angry at the elf for the privileges it had just because everyone, even the gods, had arbitrarily decided that its species was a good one. And he was angry.

    He just wasn’t angry at the elf for workings for survival or fighting for its beliefs.

    He rubbed his bruised ribs one last time before opening the door and stepping inside, closing it behind him as usual.

    There was a soft rustle and Redcloak glanced up to see Vaarsuvius sitting up quickly on the bed, eyes wide to compensate for the low light.

    Redcloak nodded, trying to disguise his limp as he walked to the bed and holding out the thermos. “This is supposed to help with sleep. And it’s good for elves. Don’t worry—I didn’t drug it.”

    Vaarsuvius nodded slowly and took it between significantly more steady hands, apparently deciding that it could trust the drink and taking a small sip. “…Thank you.”

    Redcloak gave a small nod and leaned against the wall while sitting at the foot of the bed, savoring the feeling of cold against his back privately. He glanced at Vaarsuvius’s face, noting that the dark circles under violet eyes, gentle tremors, and general signs of exhaustion had returned.

    “You haven’t been trancing.”

    Vaarsuvius took another sip, violet eyes fixed on Redcloak.

    “You weren’t here yesterday or the day before.”

    Redcloak gave a small one-arm shrug.

    “You’re hurt.”

    “What gave you that idea?”

    Vaarsuvius scowled, ears twitching, and crossed its bony arms. “Treat me as a prisoner if you wish, but do not insult my intelligence. You were limping when you came in, areas of your body are bulging slightly under your clothes—probably bandages—and you have a contusion along with a deep abrasion on the back of your head, among other things.” The elf cocked its head, arching an eyebrow imperiously. “It did not take much deduction.”

    Redcloak couldn’t stop a small smirk, looking away from Vaarsuvius’s face. “What can I say? You know, if I were in your shoes, I’d watch what I was saying a little more closely.” He rubbed his ribs gently. “Trance. Your healing’s probably been set back a few days.”

    “When are you going to treat me as you have obviously treated the paladin?”

    Redcloak paused, staring at the stone floor and rubbing his claws together slowly. He flicked up his gold eyes, staring at the elf and frowning. “When you’re healthy.”

    “That seems like a poor incentive to help myself.”

    “But you’ll do it anyway.” Redcloak shrugged. “Xykon won’t be patient. He’ll eventually get tired of taking his frustration out on me and move on to you and our other prisoner. At least this way, you might survive.”

    “So you are looking out for my welfare?”

    Redcloak shrugged. “Sure, if you want to look at it that way. I need to keep you alive.” He glanced at Vaarsuvius. “Drink more of the milk. It helps with nightmares.”

    Vaarsuvius stiffened, violet eyes wide, and sputtered for a moment. “I…! How did you know about those?!”

    “You somehow felt that having your fingers removed would be better than trancing and you refuse to trance unless someone is with you.” Redcloak gave a small smirk. “It did not take much deduction.”

    Vaarsuvius looked slightly miffed for its own line to be turned around on it. “I…”

    “Don’t worry about it.” Redcloak shrugged. “We’ve all messed up badly at some point or another or gone through something that made nightmares. It’s worse if your sleep’s just made up of memories. Just keep drinking or trance.”

    Vaarsuvius paused, then nodded slowly and finished the milk. “Very well.”

    The elf put the thermos down and slowly crossed its legs, slipping into a slow trance. It didn’t take Redcloak too long to fall asleep himself.


    Even I aww'ed a little there. I just had to make someone suffer.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  10. - Top - End - #790
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    On autopilot, he checked the small fridge tucked into the corner that he supplied himself with and grabbed a small tea kettle from on top of it, pouring milk into it slowly before setting it on the stove and turning on the flame.
    When did Redcloak get a fridge?

    Anywho, I love your story. It's like reading a cupcake. Very in character, very well-written. MORE!

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  11. - Top - End - #791
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    When did Redcloak get a fridge?
    I figured that he would've gotten his own furnished chambers so he could spend as much time away from Xykon and Tsukiko as possible.

    And thanks, by the way.
    Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2009-08-25 at 05:09 PM.

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  12. - Top - End - #792

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Minor nitpick: reading the note shouldn't have been a problem for Redcloak; Goblins have Darkvision.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
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  13. - Top - End - #793
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Sweet. :) I already offered my compliments on FF.net, but let me just say it again... XD

    I actually prefer this one over Zanaril's though. The relationship between Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius there is just a tad too easy for my tastes. I like it when things get dark, deep, psychological and complicated. :D

    A minor note, though: Don't elves get low-light vision? V shouldn't really be "half-blind" in bad light, if presumably candlelight or moonlight allows them to see as clearly as daylight...
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-08-25 at 05:40 PM.
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
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  14. - Top - End - #794
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    ...This is the part where my blatant newbie-ism in the big world of D&D shows. Thanks for the note, guys--I'll fix that up in my next draft.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  15. - Top - End - #795
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    So I destroyed the chapter 5 and will make another soon.

  16. - Top - End - #796

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    ...This is the part where my blatant newbie-ism in the big world of D&D shows. Thanks for the note, guys--I'll fix that up in my next draft.
    Hey, no problem. Simple things like that are easy to overlook, and everybody makes mistakes*. I go out of my way to try to make sure I don't get things wrong, personally. Like in my MikoxV fic, I had to make sure that the spell V used made sense and would do what I wanted. I ended up looking up about 10 spells, and reading through the whole entries on Monk and Paladin to see if there was any reason the spell wouldn't work or Miko would resist it really well.

    *Everybody has those days. Kill me now before I sing the rest of the song.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  17. - Top - End - #797
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Water-Smurf, great story. So good it makes me feel a little superfluous. Xykon seems a tad… out of character? But he’s pretty much impossible to get right, and I think it’s a good take on him.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  18. - Top - End - #798
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    Post Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    how do you put something under a spoiler?

    finally took test on what kind of DnD player I am
    Last edited by Gimliggamer; 2009-08-25 at 08:58 PM. Reason: add info
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  19. - Top - End - #799

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Gimliggamer View Post
    how do you put something under a spoiler?

    finally took test on what kind of DnD player I am
    Spoiler
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    text


    Quote me to check out the coding.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  20. - Top - End - #800
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Spoiler
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    open all at once

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    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  21. - Top - End - #801

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Gimliggamer View Post
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    open all at once

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    You are quite welcome.

    Spoiler
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    SUPERFLUOUS
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  22. - Top - End - #802
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I'm back!

    And there's more fanfic for me to read hooray!

    I have to agree that Water-Smurf's is great so far, and I'm already eagerly awaiting more chapters. It certainly puts my writing to shame.


    And I'll try to take into account what people have said regarding my VxZ fic when I get started on the next chapter. I think I need to plan it out a bit more instead of just writing as I go along.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-26 at 08:57 AM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  23. - Top - End - #803
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    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
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    SUPERFLUOUS
    /standing ovation

    Edit: Welcome back, Zanaril! Looking forward to more.
    Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-08-26 at 08:48 AM.

  24. - Top - End - #804
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Gosh darn it! Is it really too much to ask for SOME constructive criticism, especially when I specifically asked for it (and threatened for it but that's besides the point)? I know I'm usually a lurker but it would be nice if when I do post it's acknowledged (if acknowledgeable of course). [/rant]

    Nice work on the continuation of V/Redcloak Water-Smurf. Welcome back Zanaril!
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  25. - Top - End - #805
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    It was well-written and funny, especially when Elan realized his boss had left him, again.

    Water Smurf, I must admit, your story intrigues me. I didn't even know goblins were cold-blooded and oviparous with scales. I always thought they were warm-blooded mammals.

    I liked the part with Tsukiko and Jirix.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  26. - Top - End - #806
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Wow! A girl's gone for a bit and look at this. Thanks, guys. I'm not that good, really.

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Xykon seems a tad… out of character? But he’s pretty much impossible to get right, and I think it’s a good take on him.
    I'm not used to working with villains, so that's probably contributed. I figured that Xykon would be pretty pissed that his phylactery was still missing and he couldn't get at the people who did it, so I tried angry!Xykon on for size. Any ideas how I could do it better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Water Smurf, I must admit, your story intrigues me. I didn't even know goblins were cold-blooded and oviparous with scales. I always thought they were warm-blooded mammals.

    I liked the part with Tsukiko and Jirix.
    Aren't goblins green and scaly creatures? It is totally conceivable that I am completely wrong. Isn't that the reason they're green and they don't have hair? If they're scaly, then they're cold-blooded, unless they're the only species of reptile that actually generates enough energy to keep itself warm.

    And thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Like in my MikoxV fic, I had to make sure that the spell V used made sense and would do what I wanted. I ended up looking up about 10 spells, and reading through the whole entries on Monk and Paladin to see if there was any reason the spell wouldn't work or Miko would resist it really well.
    Oh my God, I do that too! :D I go nuts with research in the middle of my stories.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  27. - Top - End - #807
    Banned
     
    xelliea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Water Smurf, your stories are great, more please.

    Welcome back Zanaril.

  28. - Top - End - #808
    Banned
     
    Narr Storm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Could someone make a pic (banner?) of my avatar fighting some goblins with miko

    p.s. i am only ten so sorry if this is in the wrong place but i have seen lots of banners here

    also could i join the kyrie fanclub, i think she is cool
    Last edited by Narr Storm; 2009-08-26 at 12:01 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #809
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    Jallorn's Avatar

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    Narr Storm, kid. Bad idea to announce your age online, even here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ertier View Post
    A good background is like a skirt. Short enough to keep my interest, but long enough to cover the important bits.
    Quote Originally Posted by FistsFullofDice View Post
    Derailed in the best way, thank you good sir.
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  30. - Top - End - #810
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    Narr Storm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Jallorn View Post
    Narr Storm, kid. Bad idea to announce your age online, even here.
    why,lot's of people do it and it's not like anyone knows who i am

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