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  1. - Top - End - #961
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Did I ever mention Evil V/Haerta is my second favorite pairing?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  2. - Top - End - #962
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Did I ever mention Evil V/Haerta is my second favorite pairing?
    No, I don't think you have. It's certainly intriguing.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  3. - Top - End - #963
    Halfling in the Playground
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    furious Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table



    yet another banner!!!
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  4. - Top - End - #964
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    V's robe could do with being a little bit longer (or possibly the legs should be a bit shorter), but otherwise it's great.
    have you considered V could be wearing a miniskirt? i still stick by the thought that V is a girl, which makes that banner very intriguing indeed.O_o. i think i'll try my hand at a banner, since storys arent working out so well for me.

    Edit: OK i tried and i found out that i cant do banners since i do not have Adobe illustrator. si i must now go back to lurking in the corner, out of the way... bye everyone! zanaril, watersmurf, minion, keep up the goos work! wrap up those storys in the most dramatic way possible, and make Elan proud. hey zanaril, i just thought up a section for the next chapter during the Confrontation between V, I, And Z.(vaarsuvius, inkyrus, and zz'dtri) and Elan can go "Dun dun DUN!" and make roy mad. that will add both drama AND comedy. that story has gotten a bit dull.
    Last edited by MagicianMan5; 2009-09-02 at 08:09 AM.

    click this egg or all dragons will die!

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    True Neutral Human Druid/Wizard (1st/1st Level)


    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 10
    Dexterity- 10
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 13
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 10


  5. - Top - End - #965

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post


    yet another banner!!!
    That's so out of character lulz![/fail]

    Stop making me update the OP so much @.@
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  6. - Top - End - #966
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    hey zanaril, i just thought up a section for the next chapter during the Confrontation between V, I, And Z.(vaarsuvius, inkyrus, and zz'dtri) and Elan can go "Dun dun DUN!" and make roy mad. that will add both drama AND comedy. that story has gotten a bit dull.
    Stop making me feel bad about being lazy regarding updating my story!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  7. - Top - End - #967
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    OK i tried and i found out that i cant do banners since i do not have Adobe illustrator. si i must now go back to lurking in the corner, out of the way... bye everyone!
    Inkscape is free and easy to use.

    I'll even post on topic evidence; this is my first Inkscape work:

    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  8. - Top - End - #968
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    xelliea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    So many banners, I must keep VxRC; it's my favourite story so far.


    Keep the banners coming.
    Last edited by xelliea; 2009-09-02 at 09:10 AM.

  9. - Top - End - #969
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post



    It's [spoiler] TEXT [/spoiler]
    Thanks for the info, my internet fu seems to be weak these days.

  10. - Top - End - #970
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Inkscape is free and easy to use.

    I'll even post on topic evidence; this is my first Inkscape work:

    Yea, thats what i use for all mine, my first work is my avvie paladin!!!

    anyway, looking through the archives and saw the intermission...



    Milk dudes on soy latte...
    it had to be done...
    sorry
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  11. - Top - End - #971
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    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Inkscape is free and easy to use.

    It's really cute, but I thought Miko would be more...beige.

    Um, more not-really-related pictures. The backstory for this one is behind the spoiler tags.

    Spoiler
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5
    have you considered V could be wearing a miniskirt?
    Which led to this:
    Spoiler
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    Which then somehow led to this, which is supposed to resemble a sailor uniform. I remember there was something about high school in the OP, so it's kinda related...I hope:
    Spoiler
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    The doll is supposed to be Miko; does that redeem me in Discord's eyes?

    I was trying to do it in a fashion-illustration kind of style, but it seems I can't draw properly when it's late at night.


  12. - Top - End - #972
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    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Only Miko's cape was beige, and it was torn in half by the explosion. See 464

    V in a miniskit and a Japanese schoolgirl outfit? Is he male or is she female in these pictures?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  13. - Top - End - #973
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Only Miko's cape was beige, and it was torn in half by the explosion. See 464

    V in a miniskit and a Japanese schoolgirl outfit? Is he male or is she female in these pictures?
    Does it matter?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  14. - Top - End - #974
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    TheBibliophile's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Wow. Having read Kaytara's fic, I have a proclamation to make.

    All hail Zanaril, Water-Smurf and Kaytara, triplet goddesses of crack!
    Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
    Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
    My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
    Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.

  15. - Top - End - #975
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    CurlyKitGirl's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    . . .

    This is ever so fun and intriguing. Shame that I did it first , albeit I did it with forum members and comic members. Can't get much crackier than that can you?

    However, I've taken my 'OOTS stories' and changed it slightly to make it cast/cast. SO I give you:

    Elan/Banjo
    United By Music
    Spoiler
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    Elan walked dejectedly from the latest Temple to the Southern Gods muttering under his breath. "Stupid exclusive animal pantheon. Who says Banjo the puppet god can't be in the godhood just because there's only twelve months in a year. This is so stupid." Elan looked up and realised that his wayward feet had taken him to another inn and had sat him down at a table.
    On the stage by the bar a blond haired man was strumming at a stringed instrument and singing softly. Elan was caught up in the strange melody and tapped his fingers along to the beat, smiling. After te man's performance was over Elan walked over to the singer's table, "You're amazing! And what kind of instrument is that, it's so melodic and those chord changes were beautiful."
    "It's a banjo Elan. I'm surprised you didn't know that."
    "But why would I know that?"
    "Elan, as spoony as you are, hasn't it occured to you that persistent belief in your god and your hard work on his behalf could be rewarded?"
    "So you're saying that Banjo has . . . "
    "Yes."
    "He's sent me a banjo!"
    The young speaker slammed his forhead into the table. "Elan. I play the banjo. And I'm blond. You're god is blond. He plays the banjo. He is called Banjo. I am called Banjo. Get the picture?"
    "You're Banjo?! I'd thought you'd be more . . . puppety."
    "Not all avatars are realistic. Come on, I'll treat you to a meal to say thanks." In awe of his literal god Elan could abrely touch his meal and instead spent the whole time staring in adoration at Banjo. Secretly he thought to himself that it was a good idea that Banjo had chosen to appear as a human; he could have more fun that way. He could eat, drink, talk, dance and all sorts of great things.
    As Banjo admitted to Elan that he had to return to his spiritual home Elan wished him farewell and was sad after he'd gone.
    Perhaps one good have a more personal relationship with a god than he'd thought.


    Banjo/Hayley
    So Would This Be An Extra - Religio Affair
    Spoiler
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    Banjo slid into the inn room, "Elan, are you there?" Getting no answer he settled down for the long wait, Elan was probably annoying Hinjo again. He could wait. It'd more more fun to surprise him this way.
    He walked over to the window and looked out, admiring the view. He heard the door open behind him.

    Hayley was becoming impatient. Elan knew that she wanted to speak to him tonight. Well, it was time she surprised him.
    She sneaked to his room out of habit and took out her lockpick. "Ooh, natural twenty!" Knowing that Elan was out tormenting Hinjo or Roy she entered his room. And there he was. "Sneak Attack!" She lauched herself on him and gave him an enormous hug. "I thought you were out."

    Banjo was grabbed in a hug from behind and he started. "Who?"
    "Your font's a nice colour. Why'd you change it?" As he turned around the unknown woman suddenly kissed him on the lips. His eyes opened wide in surprise, but getting over his shock he found himself enjoying this kiss with an unknown woman.
    Then she pulled back. "You're not Elan! I'm so sorry. But what were you doing in his room?"
    "I'm Banjo. I'm er. A god. His god. Yes, that Banjo." Her face showed her shock and surprise at having kissed a god. "You're Banjo! But you're not a puppet. I'm Elan's girlfriend, Hayley. Does this mean we've had an affair?"
    "Well, the Eastern gods wouldn't say so but, Elan is your boyfriend and my only worshipper. It's a bit sticky."
    A thought popped into Hayley's head that had her grinning in a strange fashion. "Well, we could share him you know."
    Banjo was startled, but he could see a certain . . . advantage to her proposal, "Good idea." They grinned devilishly.


    Sabine/Hayley
    Ill Met By Moonlight
    Spoiler
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    Sabine was moonlighting doing some cross-dimensional work to raise a bit of extra cash for a special occasion when a young rogue tried to pick her pocket. To Hayley's surprise she caught her. Not in the act, but before the act.
    This surprised and interested her so much that she promptly offered to buy him a meal. "Well, you can buy me a meal. After all, why would I pickpocket if I had money?"
    "You have a point there." So they dined (cheaply) on some local food and discovered each other.
    This was their first date of money. After about ten or so not-dates Haley and plundered enough courage to tell the demon how she felt about her. "I - I love you!" Sabine was hit by the sudden realisation that she loved her back, but she knew that if she stayed near her she would only die. And soon too.
    Ignoring how she really felt she spurned her and broke her heart. And her own. Even in her home dimension she couldn't shake her feelings for the young Rogue she'd met by moonlight.
    How she wished she didn't bring pain to those around her. How she missed her.


    Because I don't do tables and things. Enjoy.

    Spoiler
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    Quote Originally Posted by V'icternus View Post
    Why is it that you now scare me more than the possibility of nuclear war?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Bath View Post
    To compare [Curly] to the beauty of the changing seasons or timeless stars would be an understatement.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    But Koorly is the sweetest crime.

    Squid bones are lies.
    Bathatar!

  16. - Top - End - #976
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Ok, now armed with knowledge and renewed internet fu, I shall endeavor to write my fic. I hope you guys like it.

    Chapter One: It's a Not so Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

    Spoiler
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    Our story begins in the ruins of the once great Azure City. This poor beligured town had been recently been laid low by an army of Hobgoblins lead by the mad Lich Xykon, as a result property values had plummeted. Not that the residents really cared at this point, seeing as most had either fled, died, or been enslaved. But all the same it was a real bummer to what had been otherwise a good life. We now find ourselves on street level where we can see a young girl in a black dress and pigtails walking along, an angry looking young girl to be precise.

    "Stupid Goblin... I'll show him. I'll make the most powerful undead warrior he's ever seen from the first body I find!" said Tsukiko, kicking bits of stone and human body parts out of her way.

    "It'll be free-willed and evil and mean, with cool black and red armor, and it'll kill him, and I'll take over his job!" She said, as she saw a female corpse just in front of her.

    But when she got around to the front she noticed a problem, the corpse's bottom half was missing.

    "Oh wait...that's only half. I need the whole corpse." She said, as she observed the body.

    "Ah, never mind. That's a dumb idea. It probably wouldn't have been all the powerful anyway." Tsukiko said as she turned and walked away.

    But she had not gone more then ten feet before here foot hit something. She looked down to see a severed female lower half laying on the ground. A female lower half that looked oddly familiar, one that might match a certain corpse she just found like ten second ago. (Get the hint!)

    "Of all the places to put a hip... Hey wait a minute..." She said, looking back and forth between the torso and hip pieces.

    As she looked the wheels in her evil mind began to turn. Suddenly an idea dawned on her, and an evil smirk crossed her face.

    "On second thought, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all." said Tsukiko, as she grabbed a leg and walked back over to the torso.

    "Come my little one, I've got some big plans for you." She said, as she grabbed the an arm and dragged the two pieces away.

    A few hours later, after having found a cart and raising a couple hundred undead, Tsukiko made her way to her temporary base. Using two zombies she dragged the cart with the corpse pieces and her chest of Necromancer Items, which she had "reclaimed" from the city's Illegal contraband lock up, into a former doctors office.

    "Whew! That was a hard days work, but now it's time to get down to business. Minions, place the corpse pieces on the table!" said Tsukiko

    "Yes mistress." said the zombies as they laid the torso and hip down.

    As they were doing that Tsukiko walked over to her chest and opened it up, she then began to rummage around inside.

    Now where are those things, I know I put them... Aha! Here they are, my corpse sewing kit and undead glue." She said, pulling out what looked like a med kit and a bottle that said "Undead Glue: For when your zombies need a helping hand.", the bottle showing a smiling zombie, giving a thumbs up and winking.

    "Now then, lets get to work." She said, as she walked over to the table and began her fiendish task.

    Tsukiko gently applied the glue to each of the separate halves, making sure to attach organs back together right. She then carefully pushed the two parts back together, leaving only a scar where the cut had been.

    "Ok, now here's hoping I can remember those sewing skills mom tried to teach me." Said Tsukiko as she pulled out a large needle and some heavy duty medical string.

    She stuck the needle in and began to sew up the cut. As she did she noticed how nice a body this girl had, even in death. she noticed her perfect bust, her well muscled and sculpted stomach, and as she flipped the corpse over she definitely noticed her tight and round backside.

    "Hmm, she's got a nice ass. This must be my lucky day!" Tsukiko thought to herself, her twisted mind thinking of what she and her soon to be new minion could do together. (And I ain't talking about killing Redcloak neither.)

    After about an hour the job was done and Tsukiko surveyed her work.

    "Hmm, not bad if I do say so myself. Now little one, it's time for you to awaken. Create Greater Undead!

    Meanwhile, in the afterlife of the Southern Gods..

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN NOT ENTER!" yelled a familiar character.

    "What I am saying Ms. Miyazaki is that we do not believe you are worthy of entering the Lawful Good afterlife because of... certain recent actions." said the beleaguered, and now slightly deaf, Deva of the Southern Gods.

    "But I have spent my life serving the Twelve Gods with honor and distinction! Why do they now deny me entrance to my just reward?!" Yelled Miko, still very steamed.

    "It may have to do with the fact you murdered your lord and sovereign with not a single thought of proving his guilt or innocence, or the fact you destroyed one of the gates keeping an extra dimensional horror imprisoned." said the now annoyed Deva.

    "But Lord Shojo was conspiring with the forces of evil to take down my beloved city! Also the gate had to be destroyed in order to keep it from falling into the hands of the enemy!" said Miko.

    "Look, first off if Lord Shojo had been evil, then the Twelve Gods would not have taken your Paladin powers away when you killed him. Second, while you did keep the gate out of the goblin and lich's hands, you allowed them to escape before the spirit of Soon Kim could destroy them. Now your "beloved" city is under their tyrannical rule. By your actions you have allowed a good bit of evil to occur." said the Deva, pointing an accusing finger at Miko.

    "That is not my fault, I did what was right and proper given the circumstances! You can not keep me out because of what some evil villains have done!" screamed Miko.

    "You must have a very poor listen check, because you are not hearing what I am saying. Your actions allowed great evil to continue on in the world, you killed your lord! These are most certainly not Good actions, in fact they, and other things you've done, start to trail into Evil territory! Yelled the Deva.

    "How dare you say that! Take that back you harpy!" Yelled Miko.

    "First off, I'm a Deva not a Harpy, and second, bring it on bitch! Just give me a reason to toss your butt into the lower planes!" said the Deva, standing up and knocking her chair over.

    But before Miko could leap over the desk and strangle the Deva, a faint voice could be heard.

    "Create Greater Undead!"

    "Wait did you hear... AAAAAAAAH!" said Miko, as an unknown force pulled her back and out of her chair.

    "Hey! We're not done here yet!" yelled the Deva.

    Suddenly Miko felt herself falling, falling from the heavens and back towards the earth. The sicking thought that she was now headed towards the infernal regions crossed her mind as she fell. Miko closed her eyes, preparing herself for the fire and pain, but she would soon find herself in a far different place. The next thing she knew she was laying on a cold slab, and could feel a slight breeze.

    "Hmm, I thought the lower planes would be far warmer then this." thought Miko as she lay there.

    Miko opened her eyes and instead of seeing a fiend standing over her, she say a young women with mismatched blue/ purple eyes and pigtails.

    "Who- who are you? What is this place?" said Miko as she began to sit up.

    "My, aren't you full of questions my little one. Very well then, I am your new Mistress, Tsukiko, and this is my lab."

    "What are you blathering on about?" said Miko.

    "Now then, is that anyway to thank the person who brought you back?" said Tsukiko.

    "Hmm, I guess it is not. Thank you for resurrecting me." said Miko, bowing to Tsukiko.

    "Uhh, resurrect is not exactly the word I would use." said Tsukiko.

    "What do you..." began Miko, but then she noticed something, she could not feel her heart beating.

    Miko's eyes widen and she looked down at her hands, the flesh on them pale, in fact gray looking. She then noticed a huge cut on her waist that had been sewn back together. It finally dawned on Miko what had happened.

    "I'm- I'm an undead!" said Miko.

    "You got it, I knew you would turn out to be smart." said Tsukiko.

    "You witch! How dare you do this to me! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Sapphire Guard! Smite..." yelled Miko.

    "Minion, stop!" said Tsukiko, and Miko stopped in her tracks.

    "Huh, what is going on!" said the now immobile Miko.

    "Silly girl, do you honestly think I would reanimate you without making sure you can't harm me? In fact you couldn't attack me even if you wanted too." said Tsukiko.

    "Y-you monster!" stuttered Miko.

    "Actually your the monster here, I just make them. Now then, you mentioned the Sapphire Guard, in fact I think I know you, you were that fallen Paladin back in the jail cell, correct?

    "Yes, yes I was." said Miko, unable to help herself.

    "Hmm, then what is your name?" said Tsukiko.

    "My name is Miko Miyazaki, former best Paladin in the Sapphire Guard." said Miko.

    "You were the best! This really is my lucky day! I think we can really have some fun, in more ways then one." said Tsukiko, arching her eyes and smirking.

    "What do you... Oh you are sick and perverted!" yelled Miko.

    "Whatever, now come, I have something I want you to do." said Tsukiko, and Miko had no choice but to obey.


    The End of Chapter One

    Whew! That was a long first chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you have anything you want to say, I would be glad to hear it!
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-02 at 03:12 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #977
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Poor Miko. Two typos too; "gentle" instead of "gently" and "said Miko" instead of "said Tsukiko" before "arching her eyes and smirking."
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  18. - Top - End - #978
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I can't write romance/crack good at all, it's the only genre I PHAIL in, so...rolling....



    2xd4 (2 and 3)

    1xd20 on Table 2 (9=Zz'Dtri)

    1xd20 on Table 3 (20 and 5-Ms. Bozzok)

    1xd20 on Plot Device Table (5- Stuck on a desert island)


    So...


    Zz'Dtri x G/Flipped Bozzok on a desert island.


    Someone. Write. This.


    Or at least make a banner.

  19. - Top - End - #979
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Poor Miko. Two typos too; "gentle" instead of "gently" and "said Miko" instead of "said Tsukiko" before "arching her eyes and smirking."
    Thanks, I'll fix those right away.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  20. - Top - End - #980
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    im suprised no-one has done this one yet



    Also this one

    Last edited by Funky Goose; 2009-09-02 at 04:05 PM.
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  21. - Top - End - #981
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    im suprised no-one has done this one yet



    Also this one

    You're good at making those!

  22. - Top - End - #982
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Did V just call Belkar cutie?
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  23. - Top - End - #983
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    ...Is that...is that a RoyXFemale Roy Pairing?

    ...This is going to be great. >w< *Gets out his dice*

    I'm going to do this X times, where X is the greatest number of the most common die that I have in my collection.

    That's...2 d4s, 7 d6s, 2 d8s, 4 d10s, 2 d12s, and 3 d20s. Looks like the d6s win out. Alright, here we go. SEVEN different pairings. I'll do the traditional 2d4s, with the optional plot device chart to supplement, and if I happen to get the same plot twice in a row, I'll reroll once. And for the benefit of you all, I'll give a short description of how it happened.

    First Shot:

    Haley's Dad X Teevo, in an American High School Setting (Poor Haley's dad. After a rough time in high school, he has to find SOME way to relax...)

    Second Shot:

    The entire Hobgoblin Army X Nale, in the afterlife. (Ouch. I guess that's his punishment on the Eternal Planes of Hell)

    Third Shot:

    The Cliffport Chief of Police X Kazumi, Snowed in. (Late one night, when the two are investigating a cross-case between Azure City's remnants and the Cliffport Guards, they found themselves trapped in the snowy mountains, alone, with nothing to do for a week but wait...all alone...)

    Fourth Shot:

    The Hydra X Lien, Snowed in AND Aliens made them do it. (Oh boy, this one's going to be a huge stretch...well, in the past, when Azure City was whole, Lien was sent on a mission to a snowy port town on the suspicion that a hydra was attacking. At the time, the Hydra wasn't a guardian yet, and only a random encounter. She fought the hydra to a standstill, and the two of them sought shelter in a cave when the snow began to pile in, trapping them inside. In there, some magical creature of love cast a spell on them, making them see each other in a whole new light, across the inter-species boundary...she let the hydra live, and has since then been looking for a way to make their love work. She doesn't know yet about the hydra's unfortunate demise, but when she does, she will go out of her way to resurrect her one true love.)

    Fifth Shot:

    Tsuiko (You mean Tsuikoko?) X Roy's Archon, someone is a vampire. (Well um...okay, Tsui is the vampire, and she's used her undead status to trick the gate guards into letting her through. She's decided to wreak havock on Roy's plane of the deceased, and has chosen Roy's Archon as her first target. She plans to have "fun" with something that is technically not alive, a huge turn-on for her, but he protests on account of not having an actual body. Tsui, with her arcane power, is more than happy to provide him (Or her) with a nice, serviceable form for her needs, and Roy's Archon, unfamiliar with these sensations, is helpless to resist her charms.)

    Sixth Shot:

    Lord Shojo X Jirix, unrequited love (This one kinda has to take place in the afterlife, since they're both now-dead characters...but okay, here it goes. Despite Jirix's joy for watching O-chul's torture, he has otherwise led an extremely good-aligned, if not chaotic, life, and is allowed to go to the same afterlife as Shojo. Shojo has made quite a name for himself up there, surrounded by beautiful women and smoking poorly-written legal contracts as he should, and Jirix...is rather taken by how sexy the now-young-bodied Shojo looks...but he knows that his love can never be returned due to him being a hated hobgoblin, so he watches him from afar, admiring him, sending him anonymous love letters, knowing that nothing he can ever do will express his sorrow and affection for this magnificent man.)

    Seventh Shot: (Okay, this is the last one. Let's make it count!)

    Durokan X Haley, Adultery AND Pink frills and white lace. (It is shortly after the victory of the Order of the Stick, Haley and Elan have just gotten married, and fell asleep together in bliss. Haley, meanwhile, has had her spirit summoned to the creator of the first gate they ever encountered; Durokan has summoned her, to thank her for her efforts as the second-in-command *Someone else is thanking Roy, probably Soon*, but he is taken aback very suddenly by how beautiful she is, and how she reminds him of his wife, who is forced to exist on another post-life plane. He offers her, in thanks for saving the world, the one thing she most wants in the world; to not be seen as a thief or a fighter or a player-character or anything like that...but to be treated as a woman. He produces for her a beautiful lace gown, pink, with white lace frills, gorgeous, she feels captivated by how charming he is, swooned by his elegant ways, tickled by his clever jokes, and before she knows what's happening, he has her in his arms, bringing her closer and closer, their breath in rhythm, barely an inch apart...)

    And that does it for me. I was right, this IS fun. Heh...
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  24. - Top - End - #984
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    Did V just call Belkar cutie?
    Oh yes. Maybe not technically, but V's sub-consciousness purposely chose vocabulary that Belkar would hear as such.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  25. - Top - End - #985
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Hey! This is actually a lot of fun! I might have to start writing stuff for some of these pairings!

    Therkla/Kazumi

    Bone Golem Roy/Kazumi/Elan/Xykon

    Jirix/Kazumi

    Belkar/The Dragon's Hoard

    Belkar/The IFCC

    The hydra/The Eye of Fear and Flame

    Shadowdancer/Female Bandit King/Roy/Elan/Teevo/The Chimera/Mr. Scruffy/Hieronymous Grubwiggler/Kyrie/Nale/Kazumi (I -swear- by all the genders of Slaanesh, I am not making this one up, I did -not- tamper with it... at least that I know of.)

    Lien/Windstriker

    The Hydra/Crystal

    Jirix/Julia Greenhilt

    Jirix/Vaarsuvius

    Bandit King/Bone Golem Roy

    The Eye of Fear and Flame/Monster in the Dark/Argent/Lord Kabuto

    Ancient Black Dragon/Lord Shojo/Monster in the Dark

    Roy's Archon/Female Durkon

    Bandit King/Kazumi/Miko

    Horace Greenhilt/All the demon roaches at once

    The Eye of Fear and Flame/Yor

    Bone Golem Roy/Durkon/That Guy With the Halberd/Ancient Black Dragon

    Durokan/Anceint Black Dragon/Miko/Roy

    Redcloak/Bandit King

    The Eye of Fear and Flame/Kyrie

    Daigo/The Oracle

    Belkar/Male Lien

    Durokan/Nale

    Nale/Bozzok

    Julio Scoundrel/The oracle

    Xykon's zombie dragon head/Vaarsuvius/Monster in the Dark/Elan

    So, this leaves me with two observations:
    1.) This has been a very awkward day for Kazumi, the Bandit King, and the Eye of Fear and Flame.
    2.) Orgy-tastic!
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    According to this test, I am a LN Half-Orc Cleric, Lvl.2.
    "And in the layer of the Deep Ones, we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever." - H.P. Lovecraft

  26. - Top - End - #986
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    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBibliophile View Post
    All hail Zanaril, Water-Smurf and Kaytara, triplet goddesses of crack!
    What am I, chopped liver?
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  27. - Top - End - #987
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    What am I, chopped liver?
    I always thought you were male.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  28. - Top - End - #988
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    All hail Minion! The Chopped Liver!
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    My Characters
    According to this test, I am a LN Half-Orc Cleric, Lvl.2.
    "And in the layer of the Deep Ones, we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever." - H.P. Lovecraft

  29. - Top - End - #989

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    im suprised no-one has done this one yet



    Also this one

    Hmmm.... I would have expected Haley's Latent Bisexuality, but that works too.

    Also, because of the sheer number of banners you've been making, I'm going to hold of on updating the OP for a bit. Rather get them all at once.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  30. - Top - End - #990
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    im suprised no-one has done this one yet
    Elan isn't going to want that cloak back once he finds out.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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