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  1. - Top - End - #1111
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    ...Okay, I can't hold my curiosity in any longer: What would happen if one of the admins/moderators/whatever stumbled onto this thread?
    We scatter like roaches when the light's turned on.

    On a serious-er note, everyone up to this point has (mostly) kept it PG-13 and in spoiler boxes, so I think we're not in trouble for that reason alone. But I'd imagine they've got their eyes on us, in case someone slips. It's like being on candid cam. *waves*

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  2. - Top - End - #1112
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    On a serious-er note, everyone up to this point has (mostly) kept it PG-13 and in spoiler boxes, so I think we're not in trouble for that reason alone. But I'd imagine they've got their eyes on us, in case someone slips. It's like being on candid cam. *waves*
    Well, yeah, but what I'm asking is,
    Spoiler
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    if one (or more) of them reads this stuff, and decides that they like it, what happens next?
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  3. - Top - End - #1113
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    ...Okay, I can't hold my curiosity in any longer: What would happen if one of the admins/moderators/whatever stumbled onto this thread?
    Well, that one is obvious. They'd have to read it. If they like it, maybe they'll renounce their modhood and joins the Legion, instead.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    By the way, quick poll: Which style of drawing, out of my previous four posts, do you think works best? I've been having troubles in terms of art direction for all my non-painting works recently and I'd like to pick a style to focus on for a while.
    Well, only one of them was really finished, so it's a hard question...
    I really liked the one of Inky and Aandy. :D Though the eyes were a bit too anime-ish (or, more to the point, flesh-coloured O.O) for my taste. But I loved that style.
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
    My art on Instagram

  4. - Top - End - #1114
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Belkar x Eye of Fear & Flame


    Ok, this is tame enough for me to write as my first. Let's see how good I can make it.


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    The green-clad halfing looked around, making sure there were none of the orange menace in sight. His evil glare gazed lower and met with the ruby-red crystal eyes of the skeleton head staring back at him. Belkar ran one hand through his brunette buzzcut and opened his mouth.

    "So...I've got nothing to do now, since there's no hobbos around....wanna make out?"

    The Eye of Fear and Flame trembled a bit in the God of War's hand.

    "Do I have a choice?"



    Ok, that...sucked. But...can someone make a banner for that? I'm gonna try again later and hope for a bit more untame mix to write.
    Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-09-05 at 01:37 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #1115

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    Well, yeah, but what I'm asking is,
    Spoiler
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    if one (or more) of them reads this stuff, and decides that they like it, what happens next?
    Then just like everyone else, we demand they try to contribute at least 1 thing to the thread, as the 1st post asks.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  6. - Top - End - #1116
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    If they like it, maybe they'll renounce their modhood and joins the Legion, instead.
    The Legion of the DAMNED!!!!! Mwahaha-hahaha-haha!

    (this is where TherlkaxJulio would go if I wasn't so rushed off my feet to not have wrote it yet, yeah...)
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  7. - Top - End - #1117
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Can someone give an opinion on my first crack pairing story?

  8. - Top - End - #1118
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
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    The green-clad halfing looked around, making sure there were none of the orange menace in sight. His evil glare gazed lower and met with the ruby-red crystal eyes of the skeleton head staring back at him. Belkar ran one hand through his brunette buzzcut and opened his mouth.

    "So...I've got nothing to do now, since there's no hobbos around....wanna make out?"

    The Eye of Fear and Flame trembled a bit in the God of War's hand.

    "Do I have a choice?"

    I say, give Belkar a reason to want to kiss a disembodied skull. Particularly one that shoots Fireballs out of its eyes every few rounds.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  9. - Top - End - #1119
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Smurf, amazing as usual.

    EDIT:I've lurked about the fringes of this thread for far too long... has anyone done Miko x Tsukiko?
    Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 02:39 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #1120
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    Carnivorous M.'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    My fic isn't going so well. I can't get my creative juices to work, and when I try to read the thread to get going, I forget to write! A grave dilemma do I face indeed.
    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

    When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.

    Starving the trolls since 2004

    Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.

    Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)

  11. - Top - End - #1121
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    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvenblade View Post
    Smurf, amazing as usual.

    EDIT:I've lurked about the fringes of this thread for far too long... has anyone done Miko x Tsukiko?
    Right here, my good man.

    Edit: Part 2
    Last edited by Thor Person Guy; 2009-09-05 at 03:06 PM.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  12. - Top - End - #1122
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    Elfin's Avatar

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    Spoiler
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    The last weak shafts of sunlight forsook the grey skies above Azure City, clouded with fire and smoke and spun with screams and the dying sounds of battle. Endless ranks of orange-skinned soldiers marched through the burning, desolate ruins of the sprawling city; so hard to imagine that not a day ago this place had thronged with bustling masses and echoed not with cries of pain and despair, but the clamour of business.

    And Tsukiko was confused.

    "Stupid goblin...I'll show him."
    The muttered words fell from her lips, harsh and cruel.
    All her life she had lived under the opression of people who did not understand her. They marked her as a freak, a witch, an abomination, just because she had compassion that they did not, just because she could see love where they saw terror. Tsukiko saw that love did not end in death, or even in undeath...and for that she was persecuted, then even imprisoned.

    Now, finally, she had found what she'd looked for all her life..at least that was what she'd thought. Tsukiko didn't know what to make of the situation; the lich was so amazing, so handsome, so charming- yet now she saw that underneath that was unimaginable cruelty. How could she ever love someone who found her pain amusing?

    "I'll make the mo

    [...]


    Ah, oh well.
    Let me find something that's free...
    Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 03:06 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #1123
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    I say, give Belkar a reason to want to kiss a disembodied skull. Particularly one that shoots Fireballs out of its eyes every few rounds.
    Good point, I couldn't think of anything but 'he's got no time and assume's it's female' thing...which IS Belkar-ish.

    Ok, then, lemme try my luck again with some more dice...

    Hilgya and YokYok. With someone is a vampire.

    Oh my.


    Spoiler
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    The lone dwarfmaiden wandered the dry, dark, barren hills, looking for any kind of companion to aid her in her journey back to the Dwarven Homelands. She looked left and right endlessly until her neck hurt worse than a life-draining poisoned injury. She spyed something orange in an upcoming forest and dove into a bush, peeking through a small opening to see who indeed this was. The dull-skinned kobold was hacking away at a maple tree with a rapier, moaning for syrup. The rustles of the bush startled Yokyok, and he turned and saw Hilgya's blonde hair sticking through some sticks. He walked over.
    "What do we have here? A dwarf-girl?" Yokyok smiled, revealing sharp fangs that glistened in the moonlight. Hilgya stood up and shuffled out of the bushes.
    "Umm...I'm Hilgya...dwarf...and you are...?"
    "Yokyok, kobold rapier extroidenaire. I'm here, seeking refuge from some insane halfling who killed my father."
    "...Was your father, by chance...a kobold named Yikyik? I was friends with him."
    "Yes...and I see why he was friends with you, you're...quite dashing."
    "Oh, tee hee. You're not too bad yourself...good job with the tree or whatever. Nice teeth too..."
    "Oh, you think? Hehe...some sorcerer named Xykon...his mage-ess raised me from the dead and made me a vampire." Hilgya's smile turned to a half-frown. Yokyok leaned in and pursed his lips.
    "I don't know why, Hilgya, but...your blood smells good for a dwarf."


    Oh-kayyy thenn...that was strange. Anyone want to continue for me? I got no ideas for here...or is this a good ending?

  14. - Top - End - #1124
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Oh. Oh my.
    Redcloak x Jirix x True Love.
    This one will take a while.

    Here it is- not very good, perhaps, but still.

    Spoiler
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    "You know why I called you here."

    Torchlight flickered upon the dark walls of the Unhallowed Tower; Jirix watched intently as Redcloak's words fell softly off of his full, green lips. The goblin's yellow eyes were wide and compassionate, endlessly deep wells of kindness- sight fixed upon them, Jirix imagined he could see straight into the depths of Redcloak's soul.

    "Jirix..."

    A moment passed, awkward and silent: the only noise in all the world was the gentle breathing of the two goblinoids.
    At least, the only sound that mattered.
    At last, Jirix met Redcloak's gaze and spoke uncertainly.
    "I...I don't..."
    "You know full well, Jirix."

    Wavering, the hobgoblin gathered his courage.
    "I hope so."

    Emboldened even as the words left his mouth, the orange-skinned figure mustered the words he had practiced. So many times he had uttered them in the darkness when he was alone, hoping that somehow Redcloak would hear him. So many months, and at last he had the chance to make sure he was heard.

    "I... I love you, Redcloak."

    Jirix spoke in a hushed whisper, the sentence issuing from his mouth like a rolling tide of mist. It engulfed them, silence blanketing the two as a veil of fog.
    Jirix did not know what to say; his very blood was jumping in anxiety, waiting for Redcloak's response.
    Waiting for the moment of truth.

    And then the words came, the ones he had been waiting for.

    "I love you too, Jirix."

    ...

    The candle went out, plunging the icy hallway into darkness.

    But for Jirix, the sun shone like burnished gold and light washed the world in joy.
    Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 03:43 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #1125
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvenblade View Post
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    "You know why I called you here."

    Torchlight flickered upon the dark walls of the Unhallowed Tower; Jirix watched intently as Redcloak's words fell softly off of his full, green lips. The goblin's yellow eyes were wide and compassionate, endlessly deep wells of kindness- sight fixed upon them, Jirix imagined he could see straight into the depths of Redcloak's soul.

    "Jirix..."

    A moment passed, awkward and silent: the only noise in all the world was the gentle breathing of the two goblinoids.
    At least, the only sound that mattered.
    At last, Jirix met Redcloak's gaze and spoke uncertainly.
    "I...I don't..."
    "You know full well, Jirix."

    Wavering, the hobgoblin gathered his courage.
    "I hope so."

    Emboldened even as the words left his mouth, the orange-skinned figure mustered the words he had practiced. So many times he had uttered them in the darkness when he was alone, hoping that somehow Redcloak would hear him. So many months, and at last he had the chance to make sure he was heard.

    "I... I love you, Redcloak."

    Jirix spoke in a hushed whisper, the sentence issuing from his mouth like a rolling tide of mist. It engulfed them, silence blanketing the two as a veil of fog.
    Jirix did not know what to say; his very blood was jumping in anxiety, waiting for Redcloak's response.
    Waiting for the moment of truth.

    And then the words came, the ones he had been waiting for.

    "I love you too, Jirix."

    ...

    The candle went out, plunging the icy hallway into darkness.

    But for Jirix, the sun shone like burnished gold and light washed the world in joy.
    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    Spoiler
    Show

    The lone dwarfmaiden wandered the dry, dark, barren hills, looking for any kind of companion to aid her in her journey back to the Dwarven Homelands. She looked left and right endlessly until her neck hurt worse than a life-draining poisoned injury. She spyed something orange in an upcoming forest and dove into a bush, peeking through a small opening to see who indeed this was. The dull-skinned kobold was hacking away at a maple tree with a rapier, moaning for syrup. The rustles of the bush startled Yokyok, and he turned and saw Hilgya's blonde hair sticking through some sticks. He walked over.
    "What do we have here? A dwarf-girl?" Yokyok smiled, revealing sharp fangs that glistened in the moonlight. Hilgya stood up and shuffled out of the bushes.
    "Umm...I'm Hilgya...dwarf...and you are...?"
    "Yokyok, kobold rapier extroidenaire. I'm here, seeking refuge from some insane halfling who killed my father."
    "...Was your father, by chance...a kobold named Yikyik? I was friends with him."
    "Yes...and I see why he was friends with you, you're...quite dashing."
    "Oh, tee hee. You're not too bad yourself...good job with the tree or whatever. Nice teeth too..."
    "Oh, you think? Hehe...some sorcerer named Xykon...his mage-ess raised me from the dead and made me a vampire." Hilgya's smile turned to a half-frown. Yokyok leaned in and pursed his lips.
    "I don't know why, Hilgya, but...your blood smells good for a dwarf."
    I think we're finally starting to see more of the Squicky pairings this thread was designed for. Congrats to both of you.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my cache of Brain Bleach.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  16. - Top - End - #1126
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    I think we're finally starting to see more of the Squicky pairings this thread was designed for. Congrats to both of you.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my cache of Brain Bleach.
    I found both of those very cute.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  17. - Top - End - #1127
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    Raging Gene Ray's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvenblade View Post
    EDIT:I've lurked about the fringes of this thread for far too long... has anyone done Miko x Tsukiko?
    Long ago, there was a picture of that pairing in the House of Horrors by Ink. Reposting it to inspire, inform, and...uh...incinerate.

    Spoiler
    Show


    EDIT: Unlike in Malkar Grumbo's fics, Miko seems to be enjoying her situation.
    Last edited by Raging Gene Ray; 2009-09-05 at 05:07 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #1128
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    Long ago, there was a picture of that pairing in the House of Horrors by Ink. Reposting it to inspire, inform, and...uh...incinerate.
    I think the pairing was generally quite popular for a while.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  19. - Top - End - #1129
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    New Redcloack-V comic section thing!

    Ho Ho Ho
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

    ~Proverb

  20. - Top - End - #1130
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    Carnivorous M.'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Hurrah! -enjoys comic thoroughly-
    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

    When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.

    Starving the trolls since 2004

    Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.

    Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)

  21. - Top - End - #1131
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    New Redcloack-V comic section thing!

    Ho Ho Ho
    Lovely.

    One tiny nitpick is that the 'please' came from O-Chul. I may not have made that clear in the story.

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  22. - Top - End - #1132
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    Long ago, there was a picture of that pairing in the House of Horrors by Ink. Reposting it to inspire, inform, and...uh...incinerate.

    Spoiler
    Show


    EDIT: Unlike in Malkar Grumbo's fics, Miko seems to be enjoying her situation.
    Don't worry, the MikoxTsukiko will be coming soon enough, Mwahahaha! I believe the evil conversion takes a little time, but it will happen.
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-05 at 06:18 PM.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
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  23. - Top - End - #1133
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    Elfin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray View Post
    Long ago, there was a picture of that pairing in the House of Horrors by Ink. Reposting it to inspire, inform, and...uh...incinerate.

    Spoiler
    Show


    EDIT: Unlike in Malkar Grumbo's fics, Miko seems to be enjoying her situation.
    GAH!

    Nice comic, by the way.

  24. - Top - End - #1134
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    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvenblade View Post
    Oh. Oh my.
    Redcloak x Jirix x True Love.
    This one will take a while.

    Here it is- not very good, perhaps, but still.

    Spoiler
    Show
    "You know why I called you here."

    Torchlight flickered upon the dark walls of the Unhallowed Tower; Jirix watched intently as Redcloak's words fell softly off of his full, green lips. The goblin's yellow eyes were wide and compassionate, endlessly deep wells of kindness- sight fixed upon them, Jirix imagined he could see straight into the depths of Redcloak's soul.

    "Jirix..."

    A moment passed, awkward and silent: the only noise in all the world was the gentle breathing of the two goblinoids.
    At least, the only sound that mattered.
    At last, Jirix met Redcloak's gaze and spoke uncertainly.
    "I...I don't..."
    "You know full well, Jirix."

    Wavering, the hobgoblin gathered his courage.
    "I hope so."

    Emboldened even as the words left his mouth, the orange-skinned figure mustered the words he had practiced. So many times he had uttered them in the darkness when he was alone, hoping that somehow Redcloak would hear him. So many months, and at last he had the chance to make sure he was heard.

    "I... I love you, Redcloak."

    Jirix spoke in a hushed whisper, the sentence issuing from his mouth like a rolling tide of mist. It engulfed them, silence blanketing the two as a veil of fog.
    Jirix did not know what to say; his very blood was jumping in anxiety, waiting for Redcloak's response.
    Waiting for the moment of truth.

    And then the words came, the ones he had been waiting for.

    "I love you too, Jirix."

    ...

    The candle went out, plunging the icy hallway into darkness.

    But for Jirix, the sun shone like burnished gold and light washed the world in joy.
    EEEWWWWW! not really actually very cute. a little too mushy, but everyone has a niche in the writing world.

    click this egg or all dragons will die!

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    True Neutral Human Druid/Wizard (1st/1st Level)


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    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 13
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  25. - Top - End - #1135
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    Saeyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    New Redcloack-V comic section thing!

    Ho Ho Ho
    Hurrah!

    FG, could I request that you make the font size for the comics a smidgen bigger? I've got really bad eyesight and zooming in with my browser makes everything go pixelated and stuff.

  26. - Top - End - #1136
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    HalflingRangerGuy

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    furious Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    Can someone give an opinion on my first crack pairing story?
    (/Summon Belkar) : How dare you! *stab*

    (Just Kidding. Actually it was really good)

  27. - Top - End - #1137
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagicianMan5 View Post
    a little too mushy, but everyone has a niche in the writing world.
    I hope that's not my niche...this is my first time doing a "mushy" piece; I usually write much more gritty things.

  28. - Top - End - #1138
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Julio Scoundrel x Kazumi with Drunkenness. Okay. This...can't be too hard.

    Anyone wanna write this? I doubt I do. I'd need more brain bleach than I own.

  29. - Top - End - #1139
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Just noticed number 12 on table 3 says lord Kabuto when it's actually Kubota.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  30. - Top - End - #1140

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Taekwondodo View Post
    Just noticed number 12 on table 3 says lord Kabuto when it's actually Kubota.
    Thank you for pointing that out, and I'd like to remind everyone to point out any other errors they see.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

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