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  1. - Top - End - #1201
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Oh no, mine was with werewolf O-Chul, and about a paragraph long.
    They don't have that much in common really.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  2. - Top - End - #1202
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    GrukGruk/Haley/Kazumi/Elan/Therkla was funny, and awesome, and squicky...wow.

  3. - Top - End - #1203
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    The entire Hobgoblin Army x Julio Scoundrel.



    That really shouldn't work, but it can...even in-comic.

  4. - Top - End - #1204
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Carnivorous M.'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Whenever someone rolls The Entire Hobgoblins Army with anyone, I get the mental image of a giant pile of orange creatures, with the other character squished in the middle and trying to get out.
    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

    When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.

    Starving the trolls since 2004

    Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.

    Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)

  5. - Top - End - #1205
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lkctgo View Post
    No, for sanity's sake never do it.
    What, why not?
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  6. - Top - End - #1206
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnivorous M. View Post
    Whenever someone rolls The Entire Hobgoblins Army with anyone, I get the mental image of a giant pile of orange creatures, with the other character squished in the middle and trying to get out.
    I got Jirix and the genderswitched Hodgoblin army once.
    Eternal reward for the win.
    For some reason I never got around to writing it.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  7. - Top - End - #1207
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Just rolled Hinjo/Belkar.


    someone, please write this.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  8. - Top - End - #1208
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Minion992929 View Post
    I got Jirix and the genderswitched Hodgoblin army once.
    Eternal reward for the win.
    For some reason I never got around to writing it.
    Please do.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  9. - Top - End - #1209
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    GrukGruk/Haley/Kazumi/Elan/Therkla was funny, and awesome, and squicky...wow.
    Do I win a cookie or something?

    And how was it squicky? I wasn't going for squick, I was going for crack... Besides, you're the one who requested it.


    Hm... That was... actually kinda fun. Why do I find myself wanting to write another one?
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  10. - Top - End - #1210
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    eek Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnivorous M. View Post
    Whenever someone rolls The Entire Hobgoblins Army with anyone, I get the mental image of a giant pile of orange creatures, with the other character squished in the middle and trying to get out.
    You're not alone.

    Really, how else COULD you picture it? I'mma write Julio x Hobbo army now.


    Spoiler
    Show

    A dull cape waved in the wind as Julio Scoundrel, the sexiest man alive, strode through the dead streets of Azure City. Hobgoblin corpses littered the roads behind him. Julio turned and swiftly chopped a Hobgoblin's ear off and executed him in one quick movement. At once, almost 300 hobbos appeared from behind burned buildings and piles of rubble. Julio drew his rapier and smiled.

    "Yes, this is what I need! I shall be level 20 by the end of today!"

    He slew five hobgoblins quickly, kicking three more into the dust while punching another orange menace unconcious. Julio was about to shishkabob another of the minions as a large broadsword came down and sundered his thin sword. Julio stepped back and looked up from his broken sword. There stood a large ghast, wielding the broadsword as if it was light as a feather. The entire army surrounded Julio, the ghast being pushed back into the crowds. Julio threw his wallet and all his gold onto the ground, along with hundreds of signed papers.

    "Here, here, take my money, take my picture, but DON'T KILL MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!"

    "That's not what we're here for tiger. You can penetrate my armor anyday..." A female hobbo spoke up. Julio smiled. Wuld this be as bad as it was made out to be?

    Julio was so lost in thought he didn't hear a hobgoblin Cleric shouting "POLYMORPH! HOBGOBLIN!!"




    Ummm...I just wrote a brain-bleach anti thing.



















    And to the above post: Did I say squick? I meant to say something more like crack-ish.
    Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-09-09 at 06:59 PM.

  11. - Top - End - #1211
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table




    KK, dumping my brain in acid.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  12. - Top - End - #1212
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by mizzim View Post
    Just rolled Hinjo/Belkar.


    someone, please write this.
    Sure, when I get a chance.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  13. - Top - End - #1213

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Hm... That was... actually kinda fun. Why do I find myself wanting to write another one?
    That's the thread's Charm Parson coming into affect.

    It's easier if you don't attempt the save.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  14. - Top - End - #1214
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    That's the thread's Charm Parson coming into affect.

    It's easier if you don't attempt the save.
    Parson? This is OOTS!

  15. - Top - End - #1215
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    eek Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Do I win a cookie or something?

    And how was it squicky? I wasn't going for squick, I was going for crack... Besides, you're the one who requested it.


    Hm... That was... actually kinda fun. Why do I find myself wanting to write another one?
    +1 Cookie=Funny
    +1 Cookie=2nd Story
    Sorry wasnt squicky to me!
    High Priest of

  16. - Top - End - #1216
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Can someone make an archive? I'm looking for all of water-smurf's redcloak/V, but it's really hard to find them all, and I don't have much free time.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  17. - Top - End - #1217
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    eek Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    You're not alone.

    Really, how else COULD you picture it? I'mma write Julio x Hobbo army now.


    Spoiler
    Show

    A dull cape waved in the wind as Julio Scoundrel, the sexiest man alive, strode through the dead streets of Azure City. Hobgoblin corpses littered the roads behind him. Julio turned and swiftly chopped a Hobgoblin's ear off and executed him in one quick movement. At once, almost 300 hobbos appeared from behind burned buildings and piles of rubble. Julio drew his rapier and smiled.

    "Yes, this is what I need! I shall be level 20 by the end of today!"

    He slew five hobgoblins quickly, kicking three more into the dust while punching another orange menace unconcious. Julio was about to shishkabob another of the minions as a large broadsword came down and sundered his thin sword. Julio stepped back and looked up from his broken sword. There stood a large ghast, wielding the broadsword as if it was light as a feather. The entire army surrounded Julio, the ghast being pushed back into the crowds. Julio threw his wallet and all his gold onto the ground, along with hundreds of signed papers.

    "Here, here, take my money, take my picture, but DON'T KILL MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!"

    "That's not what we're here for tiger. You can penetrate my armor anyday..." A female hobbo spoke up. Julio smiled. Wuld this be as bad as it was made out to be?

    Julio was so lost in thought he didn't hear a hobgoblin Cleric shouting "POLYMORPH! HOBGOBLIN!!"

    And to the above post: Did I say squick? I meant to say something more like crack-ish.
    +1 Cookie=Funny
    High Priest of

  18. - Top - End - #1218
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by mizzim View Post
    Can someone make an archive? I'm looking for all of water-smurf's redcloak/V, but it's really hard to find them all, and I don't have much free time.
    Look for Lira's posts.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  19. - Top - End - #1219
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    +3 Cookies if you update the Archive!

    Edit: And Whores!
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-09 at 07:23 PM.
    High Priest of

  20. - Top - End - #1220
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericOfBelker View Post
    +3 Cookies if you update the Archive!

    Edit: And Whores!
    The archive is regularly updated, my stories are in there.


    AND HOOKERS

  21. - Top - End - #1221
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Hello once again, it is now time for chapter three, and in this one it gets a little more lovey dovey. This chapter begins the slide of Miko into evil and crack fic induced love of Tsukiko, so here we go!

    Chapter Three: Miko Gets Some Treasure Type O (Finally)

    Spoiler
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    Miko sat down on the bed next to Tsukiko, who leaned over and gently put her arms around her.

    "You seem so tense, what is troubling you my dear one?" said Tsukiko as she massaged Miko's shoulders.

    "If you must know, I am feeling conflicted about what happened today." said Miko, finding herself liking the massage she was getting a bit too much.

    "I told you not to worry about that, but if it bothers you I have ways of making you forget about it." said Tsukiko.

    "What do you..." said Miko, but she was silenced as Tsukiko pulled her into a kiss.

    Miko was shocked by this and at first hesitated, but something inside made her relax and just except it.

    Now before we go on, there is something you must know. Roy was not far off when he made that Treasure Type O comment, in fact he was dead on. Miko was in fact a virgin, in every sense of the word. She had never known the loving touch of another, what with her being a very chaste and loyal Paladin. Well all those years of missed opportunities were about to be made up right here and now.

    Tsukiko pulled away from the kiss to see that Miko was smiling a little. Seeing this, she decided to press on, and began to caress her in... places. (above the waist... for now)

    "Now then, doesn't that make you feel better?" said Tsukiko.

    "Uh huh." said Miko, the feeling of Tsukiko's touch sending shivers through her body.

    "Well it gets better from here." said Tsukiko, as she continued on.

    Miko was lost in the strange feelings that went through her body. She had never felt this way before in her entire life. The part of her that was a Paladin screamed that this was wrong, sick and perverse. But it was silenced by the part that was enjoying it, and did not want to stop.

    "Do want to go on?" said Tsukiko.

    "Y-yes please." said Miko.

    "Alright than, but only because you asked so nicely." said Tsukiko.

    Then out of nowhere Tsukiko put her hand between Miko's legs, and well... you know. Miko felt as if a bolt of lightning had hit her, but a very pleasant one. As Tsukiko kept on going everything began to blur and time slipped away. Miko was lost in a world she had never known before, and while she did not realize it right then, she had slipped into the hands of Tsukiko.

    It was the next mourning, the sun rising over the evil citadel of Xykon. Inside said evil place we find our two lovers laying in bed. Tsukiko was asleep, and Miko was still in a daze, her mind processing everything that had happened.

    "What did I do last night? I made love to someone who is pure evil. Gods what possessed me to do it? I mean yeah it felt good, and she was so gentle and kind and when she... I need to pray for guidance!" thought Miko, her mind taking a sudden new course.

    Miko gently got out of the bed and after quietly putting her clothes back on she made her way out of the room. After she left Tsukiko began to stir. she reached over, thinking she would find her new lover, but she only found empty sheets. Tsukiko sat bolt upright and looked around, but Miko was nowhere to be found.

    "Huh, where the heck did she go?" said Tsukiko.

    Meanwhile Miko had found a small closet not far away to conceal herself. she knelt down and began to pray to the Twelve Gods for guidance, to tell her what to do.

    "Twelve Gods, what should I do? I feel so confused, so many conflicting thoughts and feelings. I need your divine wisdom to see me through this quandary." said Miko, she then waited for an answer.

    But something was wrong, no sign came to her, no words from on high, nothing. There was nothing but the empty closet and herself, all alone.

    "Twelve Gods please, I don't know what to do, please answer." said Miko.

    The only answer she got was deafening silence.

    "Twelve Gods, where are you? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!" yelled Miko.

    Miko could not understand, why were the Twelve Gods not answering? Why were they ignoring her? Her, the best (former) Paladin of the Sapphire Guard. She was special, she was the best, she was... alone. For the first time Miko realized that her worst fear had come true. The gods she had dedicated her life too, had sacrificed for, had obeyed without question, had abandoned her. There was only one thing she could do, she began to cry. For the first time since leaving the dojo all those years ago, she cried. Miko curled up into a ball and let loose all the pent up sadness she had kept inside. As she sat there the door to the closet opened, Tsukiko standing in the doorway.

    "Miko, what are you doing? What's wrong?" said Tsukiko, worried.

    Miko looked up as tears streamed down her face. Suddenly she leaped up and threw her arms around Tsukiko, crying into her shoulder. Tsukiko was taken aback by this and patted Miko on the back, trying to calm her down.

    "There there, it's ok, it's ok. Whatever the matter is it's ok." said Tsukiko, trying to comfort Miko.

    "The Twelve Gods have abandoned me!" wailed Miko, sobbing into Tsukiko's dress.

    "Calm down, it's not that big a deal." said Tsukiko.

    "Yes it is! They have abandoned me, ME! They're most loyal and special follower! All is lost." said Miko as she slumped to the floor.

    Tsukiko looked down with concern and sat down next to Miko.

    "Well if they abandoned you then they don't know what they're doing." said Tsukiko.

    "What?" said Miko, whipping a tear from her eye.

    "I mean I think you're plenty special. I mean your strong, a good fighter, even better in bed." said Tsukiko, making Miko blush.

    "If the Twelve Gods abandoned you then that's their problem. I mean what do they really do, other then sit on clouds being lazy. They sit up there while we have to deal with the crummy world they made. I ask you, is that right?" said Tsukiko.

    "I guess you're right." said Miko quietly, starting to she her point.

    "Of course I am! If they can't see how special and unique we are, then who needs them." said Tsukiko.

    "Yeah... Yeah! Who needs those lazy gods! I mean, I slaved away my whole life serving them, and what thanks do I get? For a lifetime of service I get my Paladin powers taken away and I get denied my rightful place in the afterlife by some harpy with bad hair! Well if they can not see my worth, then maybe the dark forces can. I, Miko Miyazaki, do hereby renounce the Twelve Gods, FOREVER! Furthermore, I pledge my service to you, Mistress." said Miko, knelling to Tsukiko.

    "Well, I'm very flattered." said Tsukiko, smirking.

    It just so happened that a certain goblin was walking through the hall at that moment. He raised a inquisitive eyebrow and walked over to the two girls.

    "And just what is going on over here?" said Redcloak.

    "Nothing that concerns you, you green skinned loser." said Tsukiko.

    "Why you little..." said Redcloak, furious. But then he noticed Miko glaring at him.

    "Uh, well. Anyway I have important things to do, I must be going." said Redcloak, as he beat a quick retreat.

    Miko and Tsukiko shared a devious grin, and got back up. They began to walk back to Tsukiko's room, holding hands.

    "When we get back to my room, I have a present for you. A new set of armor, and it's in the most awesome colors ever." said Tsukiko.

    "That sounds lovely. It would be nice to get out of this old thing." said Miko, as they kept on walking.


    Wow, it was really easy to turn Miko. Although considering how fast she turned on Lord Shojo, it might not be surprising.

    Anyway there is more to come, including adding poor Haley and Varrsuvius into the mix. The madness must have seized me, but it's a good madness.

    (cut to tied up Haley and Varrsuvius)

    You sick freak! Let us go!

    Yes vile fiend, release us at once or suffer the wrath of my awesome arcane power, one tiny speck of which would snap your feeble mind!

    Oh be quiet, I'll turn you back once the story is over. Until next time, have a good week all!
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  22. - Top - End - #1222
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Thanks! that's really useful.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  23. - Top - End - #1223
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    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    At dawn on the fifth day, look to the east.A wizard is never late nor early Young Skywalker, he arrives precisley when he means to.



    .....


    harrah for Weimann!!!
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  24. - Top - End - #1224
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Where the f** is Zanaril?
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  25. - Top - End - #1225
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Gimliggamer View Post
    Where the f** is Zanaril?
    His life, a thing you probably don't have.

  26. - Top - End - #1226
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    His life, a thing you probably don't have.
    No, I probably don't have Zanaril's life *cough*
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  27. - Top - End - #1227
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Don't be sad, I don't have a life either.



    Celia/haley/teevo plot device: pregnancy.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  28. - Top - End - #1228
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Only retards have lives.
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

  29. - Top - End - #1229
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Having a life is highly overrated.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  30. - Top - End - #1230
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Gimliggamer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    Having a life is highly overrated.
    Exactly!
    Who needs sports when we have Dnd, OOTS, RvB, Halo, and the all important Grifball!
    Dolla dolla bill, y'all

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