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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Here we go! Part 2 of my Miko x Redcloak fic... But first...

    Foreword
    Spoiler
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    : Hmm... There seem to be a lot of problems with this story.
    : Oh yeah? Like what?
    : Redcloak has both eyes back, for one thing...
    : Hmm...
    : Plus, why isn't Xykon off looking for his necklace?
    : I dunno...
    : And that Paladin chick sure switched sides too easily...
    : I have an idea...
    : Oh yeah, what's that?
    : Stop pointing out plot holes. If we ignore them, they don't exist...
    : Oh right, I forgot this was a crack fic...
    : Yeah, so stop nit-picking at it, and just enjoy the show!
    : Sounds like a plan...
    : Anybody got any popcorn?


    And now, on to our feature presentation...

    Miko x Redcloak
    PART 2
    Spoiler
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    It took Miko a few moments to get the hang of her new body. It was bad enough she'd forgotten how to walk, due to her time in the Afterlife. But now she had to get used to being nothing more than a skeleton. The weight difference between being a walking bone structure and an armored human was quite noticeable. In fact, she lacked more than just armor. She lacked clothes. "Why am I naked?" Miko suddenly inquired upon realizing that she was completely exposed.

    "Well, technically, you're a skeleton. You can't be naked, because you don't have anything to... well... cover," Xykon shrugged. "Although, Redcloak gets uncomfortable when I don't wear my robes, and Tsukiko just stares at me with this weird look that creeps me out... But don't worry. We'll be getting you a nice new suit of armor, as well as a weapon, right after we introduce you to being Evil."

    "I never completely said I'd be Evil..." Miko replied flatly. "I simply said I'd destroy the Order of the Stick."

    "Whatever helps you sleep better at night..." Xykon rolled his eyes. "Oh wait, that's another thing. You can't sleep anymore. All you can really do is sit there in the dark, and wait..." (: Just like Chuck Norris!)

    "No matter. Sleeping would only bring me guilt-ridden dreams..." Miko sighed.

    "On the plus side, you never have to go to the bathroom again!" Xykon jovially exclaimed. "And you never get tired or hungry. Although, I do miss coffee... Siiiiiigh..."

    "So I'm capable of staying awake forever, never having to stop and rest, nor do I require food to function? So in essence, I'm able to never give up the hunt, while my prey would eventually have to stop for sleep or food, giving me the chance to overtake and destroy them?" Miko scratched at her jaw, contemplating the possibilities. "Perhaps this does have its advantages..."

    "I'll let Redcloak fill you in on more Team Evil stuff. I've got to go take notes on this..." Xykon gestured over towards the Cleric of the Dark One. "He'll tell you some other important stuff." And with that, Xykon headed over to his desk, where he began to scribble down notes on scrolls and complain to his Hobgoblin guards about how much not being able to drink coffee sucked.

    "Oh goodie..." Miko rolled her eyes. Same side or not, she felt nothing short of mistrust and disdain for the Goblin. She walked over to him, crossed her arms, and awaited his response. "So, what information do you intend to taint my soul with?"

    "Hmph..." Redcloak narrowed his eyes at her. "Glad to see you're so open to it... Anyway, here's some important information you may find helpfull. First of all, you'll find that Lawfull Evil is a more rewarding alignment than Lawfull Good. You have so many moral obligations and such to deal with when you're Good. With Evil, you can cut straight to the point. For example... There's a killer on the loose. You want to stop him, but if you capture him he might escape from prison before his trail. Or he might have an air-tight defense, and be able to get out with little or no time served. But the rules of being Good forbid you from killing him and serving justice directly. Not if you're Lawfull Evil..." Redcloak shook his head, and smirked. "When you're Lawfull Evil, you can find the killer, and then execute him on the spot. Its Evil because you killed him, but its Lawfull because you did it for the greater good, and justice was served. See what I'm talking about?"

    "That does make some sense..." Miko shrugged. "But what if he was innoccent?"

    "Everyone is guilty of something..." Redcloak smirked. "Being Lawfull Evil gives you the ability to punish everyone in the way they deserve, rather than what's legal. A muderer with a good defence can get out with barely any time served, especially if he makes a plea deal. Is that justice? According to the rules of being Lawfull Good, it is. What of the man who steals from an old woman, who then gets her house foreclosed because she couldn't pay the bill on time? Lawfull Good says he only gets a few years for the money he stole, but she's still responsible for not paying her bills like the rules required her too. Lawfull Evil says the man should pay for every ounce of suffering he caused that old woman, one way or another. If his life is the price he must pay, then the old lady gets a new place to live. And it all gets resolved much, much quicker. See... Isn't Lawfull Evil more... fair?"

    "I do see some reason behind what you're saying..." Miko grumbled. "What else do you have to tell me?"

    "For one thing, you have to change your perspective. Civilians are no longer innocent, only in the way. Heroes are no longer the good guys, only Experience Points. And underlings..." Redcloak looked over at Tsukiko, and nodded.

    "Hey Xykon!" Tsukiko exclaimed, suddenly pulling a dagger from behind her back. "Catch!"

    "Dowhatnow?" Xykon looked over his shoulder, slightly confused. He suddenly realized that there was a dagger flying across the room at him. "Gah!" With quick reflexes, he reached out and grabbed one of his Hobgoblin bodyguards, and held him out in front of him as a human shield.

    "HRUK!!" was the noise the Hobgoblin made as the dagger imbedded itself between his eyes. (: Oh Grark! We will never forget your heroic sacrifice! : Wasn't his name Klorn? : Pssh, I don't remember...)

    Xykon tossed the dead underling to the ground, and let out a small chuckle. "Well, I feel a little bit better about the coffee now..."

    "Ahem..." Redcloak coughed, regaining a mortified Miko's attention. "Underlings are now expendable, and also serve as very good meat shields."

    "But... but he was on your side!" Miko growled. "He did nothing wrong, except for serving you with loyalty!"

    "Meh, he signed a waiver..." Tsukiko smirked. "Besides, it helps younger goblins move up the chain of command and feel important about themselves. It gives meaning to their short, pointless lives..."

    "His family will be imbursed for his tragic death, and it will serve as inspiration for his son to make something out of himself like his father wanted him too, rather than sit around wasting his life. And besides..." Redcloak grinned. "Aren't all Hobgoblins just Evil monsters, and deserving of nothing short of death?"

    Miko could only glare at the Goblin. She dared not admit, especially to Redcloak, that she'd seen the Hobgoblin as anything more than an Evil blight upon this world. Finally, she growled: "So when do I get my new equipment?"

    "Ah yes, Tsukiko will show you to the armory..." Redcloak nodded towards the young Necromancer. "I trust you'll help her find what she needs?"

    "I'll make sure she's taken care of!" Tsukiko waved happily.

    "And keep it professional... " Redcloak muttered.

    "Alright, alright..." Tsukiko frowned.

    "Now then, off you go..." Redcloak waved them off. As the Death Knight and the Necromancer left the room, he walked over to Xykon and sighed. "Does Tsukiko ever disturb you, sir?"

    "Oh yeah, all the time..." Xykon chuckled. "Freaks the undead crap out of me. But we're low on serious Villain Cliches around here, and we needed a Bad Guy who had a disturbing quirk about them. She fits the bill, as much as it weirds me out..."

    "So... What do you think about Miko?" Redcloak arched an eyebrow.

    "I think the experiment is working out very well thus far," Xykon nodded, contemplating his findings. "She's probably still got that Paladin Stick lodged up her non-existant rectum, though. But she'll come around eventually..."

    "So we're not going to tell her that existing in the form of an evil creature, such as a Death Knight, will slowly corrupt her way of thinking, as well as her very soul, and gradually turn her completely Evil?" Redcloak asked, a horrified expression adorning his face.

    "Nope..." Xykon shook his head, his eyes closed in a cheerfull manner.

    "Excellent..." Redcloak grinned. "But what if she decides to be Good again, and attacks us? You know she's probably just trying to get us to lower our guard..."

    "Oh, I know," Xykon nodded. "That's why I put a special Mark on the inside of her skull, where she won't be able to see it. All I have to do is say the code word, and she'll be paralyzed. I considered just making it sort of a "self-destruct" spell, but I'd hate to let a perfectly good corpse go to waste, even if the spirit inhabiting it is a bit hard to work with..."

    "Ooooh... Wait, that doesn't sound like something you're normally allowed to do. How'd you pull that off?" Redcloak arched a confused eyebrow.

    "The wonders of Homebrew..." Xykon grinned, holding up a handfull of handwritten notes.

    "Aaaaah..." Redcloak nodded slowly, and then bowed. "I stand in the presence of a master..."

    "Darn straight!" Xykon threw his hands in the air triumphantly.

    "I just have one more question, though..." Redcloak scratched the side of his head. "Do you have anything inside of your skull?"

    Xykon narrowed his eyes. "Nothing that concerns you..." And with that, he sat down and went back to his notes. Redcloak sat there a moment, shrugged, and then headed off to go see how Miko and Tsukiko were doing. Although, part of him dreaded the possibilities of what he might find...


    Phew... Glad that's done. What do ya'll think?


    Told you there'd be a plot twist to explain why Miko will be going evil...
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  2. - Top - End - #152
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    It looks like there's a problem with the shipping thing.
    With my tool? Please elaborate. "There's a problem" isn't helpful.
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  3. - Top - End - #153
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    So, I modified my banner to make it a little more readable, since black on black doesn't exactly allow details to be seen.



    Also, Lycan 01... I'm not an alignment expert, far from it since my D&D experiences is limited to video games, but I think what you described through Redcloak was Chaotic Good, not Lawful Evil.
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-09-18 at 12:39 AM.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  4. - Top - End - #154
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Interesting story Silverraptor. Of course, my interpretation of Miko is someone too proud to admit her mistakes and too strong to cry no matter the circumstances, but this was a good read.
    Not when she's been in the afterlife for months being proven wrong on everything she believed in. If you were suddenly proven that everything, EVERYTHING you believe in is completely wrong, you'd cry too.

    But anyways, thanks guys. I'm glad that I can produce stories of sufficent quality while staying within my trademark of present timing. If only others would read them though...

    Edit: Hey anyone want to convert my stories into banners?
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-18 at 01:11 AM.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

    *Avatar by Me*

  5. - Top - End - #155
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Some mighty fine crack from Lycan and Silverraptor there. I'm not entirely sure about the, uh, mechanics of Hinjo getting jiggy with a spectral Miko - I guess my brain must have a built in firewall for that sort of stuff.

    Kirby's stuff is good but needs a little more fleshing out I think - hope to see more =)

  6. - Top - End - #156
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    @ MasamuneSSX - I thought that was great, very atmospheric and creepy! More please.

    @ Lycan 01 - I am enjoying the Dark Miko, and also the demon roach commentary!

    I noticed that the Order of the Scribble had yet to get any love, so I'm throwing this into the pile. However, I should say that I don't own a copy of SoD, so apologise in advance if anything I've written here breaks canon for that book.

    Spoiler
    Show


    Girard knows all the reasons why male humans and female halflings getting together is a Really Bad Idea. He's heard all the obscene jokes, seen most of the bathroom graffiti. It's complicated. Not as though she were an elf, an Outsider, or even an Orc, for Loki's sake -- for some reason that he's never fully grasped, demi-humans of the same size are fair game, but other cross-relationships are considered gross and weird, or at best the subject of skeezy bar-room jokes about what one partner is the perfect height to do. He can imagine what the others would say -- Kraagor's quiet disapproval, Dorukan's jokes, Lirian and Soon exchanging that Look of theirs that says 'Oh dear Gods what do the Chaotics think they're doing now?'. He wonders about the physics of it all, too -- probably nothing a simple Potion of Heroism couldn't take care of, but still, imagine if he accidentally hurt -- *eeaargh*. Repressing a shudder, he imagines what his parents would do, he imagines what her parents would do -- hells, the nights have been so long on the Order's latest trek that he's even given some thought to the prospect of unappealingly short and furry-footed children with extremely unfortunate hair.

    So many bad reasons, and only one good one, and it's dancing in and out of the firelight before him right now. Serini, Serini, rich brown eyes the colour of the last autumn leaves and a laugh that crackles like greenwood thrown on a bonfire. It's Harvest festival tonight, or at least it would be in sensible places where there actually *is* a harvest, and she's teaching anyone who wants to learn a dance from her home village. She says it brings good luck for the winter, and that's something the Order needs pretty badly right now.

    'That's it, over, under and through!'. She skips, clapping, under the outstretched arms of Lirian and Dorukan and goes spinning around the fire, giggling and twirling in time to Kraagor's drum. Her face is glowing despite the cool of the evening, one shoulder of her orange dress slipping crooked and thick dark curls leaping and bouncing around her head. Girard can't take his eyes away.

    He watches the pretty, laughing girl, dancing in the firelight with her friends. But in his mind he also holds the image of Serini as the woman who, when Soon has woken the entire camp with his nightmares, always mysteriously seems to be 'awake anyway, I don't need to sleep much, tee hee!' and to have a pot of his favourite tea on the fire. Who taught Dorukan how to darn his own socks (aparently it wasn't covered in wizard school), and who once loaned her entire share of the party's loot to Girard himself for some much-needed spell components and then 'accidentally' forgot to ask for it back. Layered on top of that, he thinks of her as she was the night they stormed the stronghold of the dreaded Baron Pineapple. Slipping halfling-quiet from shadow to shadow in the moonlight, tumbling locks and knifing assassins and smiling like a feral child when at last she held up her daggers dripping with yellow juice.

    Serini, Serini, kind and sweet and wild and vicious, brave and beautiful and always and forever Serini. So many bad reasons, and only one good one.

    Lirian collapses into the leaves beside him, dizzy and exhausted, and autumn-leaf eyes are crackling at him from across her tousled blonde head.

    'Look, Draketooth, I broke the elf! Now, for the last time, you sitting there sulking all night, or are you dancing?'

    That all depends,' he grins. 'You asking, Toormuck?'

    The look on her face is his answer, so he takes her hand, pulls himself to his feet in one long graceful motion, and slowly begins to dance.



    Bonus points to anyone who spots the gratuitous LOTR reference!
    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-09-18 at 10:56 AM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  7. - Top - End - #157
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Esmerelder, that was beautiful. :)

    I really loved the first paragraph, such a touching writing style...
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  8. - Top - End - #158
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Damn, I'm finding myself extremely drawn to this.

    I'll probably do a sketch (Don't know how to do Inkscape and upload it yet) and put it on here later.

    Just warning: My drawings can be horrendious.

    You don't mind if I do just crack drawings, right?
    Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-18 at 02:22 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    The more the merrier. Especially drawings. :D
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  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    V x Therkla (I'm going to have Therkla back from the dead for this, with True Ressurection)


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    "Agh, if only those diminuitive fools had not left me on this deserted island, I could have aided them well in the capture and death of that accursed lich sorcerer, considering I have destroyed the phylactery." The red-robed elf fingered their long purple hair, looking around for any kind of life on the island save the towering palm trees, small rainforests, and the occasional gull used for a quick lunch. Vaarsuvius's eyes flitted around, and suddenly focused on a large bush as she heard a large ruckus emit from it.
    "Gust of Wind." The leaves and twigs flew away and the buush was uprooted from the sudden gust. A green-skinned being emerged from the ground and dissapeared as soon as V had seen it.
    "Fireball. That should do the job." V watched as the small forest burned before its eyes. Suddenly a hand was drawn over V's mouth and it blacked out.

    Therkla yawned and looked up at the stars.

    "Ahh, NOW I know what gender the elf is."



    Banner please. XD
    Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-09-18 at 02:52 PM.

  11. - Top - End - #161
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Alrighty, here's two more pictures I drew. Once again, I apologize for my inherent inability to draw neatly.

    RCxV
    Spoiler
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    Roy x V (wearing the wrong trousers, Gromit!)
    Spoiler
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    As always, comments, critiques, etc. are welcome.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  12. - Top - End - #162
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Roy x V (wearing the wrong trousers, Gromit!)
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    As always, comments, critiques, etc. are welcome.
    The chainmail mini-skirt is disturbing. And looks painful to wear. Not to mention you'd get a bit chilly wearing just that.

    I love it!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  13. - Top - End - #163
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    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    The chainmail mini-skirt is disturbing. And looks painful to wear. Not to mention you'd get a bit chilly wearing just that.

    I love it!
    I think even more disturbing is that the chainmail miniskirt belongs to Roy.

    Love the drawings as well, though. XD I just melt at this particular style...
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    @Lycan

    Good chapters, keep up the good work. Can't wait to see where it goes from here.

    @Discord

    I like the banner, it looks great.

    @Esmerelder

    I Love it! Love it! You're right, there aren't enough pairings with the Order of the Scribble, good show!

    @CheeseMuncher

    Those pictures are great, I especially like the VxRoy one. Chain mail miniskirt is very funny.
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-18 at 03:46 PM.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
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  15. - Top - End - #165
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Any comment on my latest disaster? XD

  16. - Top - End - #166
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Belkster11 View Post
    Can I have a banner made for my now finished Elan/Roy fic? Pretty please?
    Ho Ho Ho



    do you make inarticulate noises too???
    Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.

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  17. - Top - End - #167
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Thank you guys! :3 *shares cookies I just finished baking*

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  18. - Top - End - #168
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    BatRobin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Any comments on my latest pairing?

  19. - Top - End - #169
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Vaarsuvius+The Snarl...

    I just... I just... I can't even finish the sentence

  20. - Top - End - #170
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Ookami50 View Post
    Vaarsuvius+The Snarl...

    I just... I just... I can't even finish the sentence
    Spoiler
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    WRITE ITTTT






  21. - Top - End - #171
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    Spoiler
    Show

    Spoiler
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    Spoiler
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    WRITE ITTTT





    *opens spoiler*

    ...WHY?!?!!?
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  22. - Top - End - #172
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by BatRobin View Post
    [unneededspoilers]
    WRITE ITTTT
    [/unneededspoilers]
    Mind if I do?

    Spoiler
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    Vaarsuvius stood before the rift, the soft pink light tainting everything it touched. This.. monstrosity. It was where the true blame behind their woes lay, for without it, what would there be to defend against? Xykon himself was a threat, yes, but without this his schemes could never match their current malice. Unlike the lich, this was a thing of neither benevolence nor malignancy. Only power.

    The elf was breathing heavily without realising it, face tilted up, eyes almost closed. Lips parted in a sigh. And what was the cost of power? One's family? One's very soul? Power was seductive, in more ways than one. And the elf knew it. This was the true love of its life; not a caring spouse, not even careful study. Simply this pure, untapped potential presented before it, uncontrollable and untouchable. Oh but it was so tempting to try. The elf's feet had left the ground, held aloft by power which was but a toy in comparison. The elf edged closer. Just a little bit closer...
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-18 at 05:02 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  23. - Top - End - #173
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    It would make a... questionable drawing.

    Clicky click.

  24. - Top - End - #174
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Ookami50 View Post
    It would make a... questionable drawing.
    And this is the thread where such questions are answered!

    On a related note, why has nobody suggested adding Evan's Spiked Tentacles to the tables yet? (And would it be a character or a plot device?)
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-18 at 05:10 PM.
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    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Ookami50 View Post
    It would make a... questionable drawing.
    I once made a quick and dirty Snarl/Mr Scruffy image. SNARL LOVE KITTY!

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    And this is the thread where such questions are answered!

    On a related note, why has nobody suggested adding Evan's Spiked Tentacles to the tables yet? (And would it be a character or a plot device?)
    Plot Device only useable with V or O-Chul.

  27. - Top - End - #177
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    esmerelder's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    U.K

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    @ Kaytara and Malkar Grumbo - thank you!

    @ Belkster11 - more crack drawings = more fun yay!

    @ CheeseMuncher - Eee! They're ADORABLE, thank you! I love the way you draw V, I think you captured hir androgyny perfectly, and the innocent expression on Roy's face - 'Um, yes, we've just been reviewing strategy in this tent all this time, honest. Chain-mail miniskirt, what chain-mail miniskirt?...' cracks me up completely.
    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-09-18 at 05:19 PM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  28. - Top - End - #178
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    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky Goose View Post
    Ho Ho Ho



    do you make inarticulate noises too???
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!

    *Saves to sig*

    THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!

    *passes out from drinking too much*
    Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-18 at 05:21 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #179
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    And this is the thread where such questions are answered!

    On a related note, why has nobody suggested adding Evan's Spiked Tentacles to the tables yet? (And would it be a character or a plot device?)
    In general, could someone please PM me about additions to the tables, so I can update my roller as necessary? I might not check the thread this obsessively, the way I currently am, thinking only of people talking about something I wrote, not even caring about the fiction.

    Sgeo + Egotism
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  30. - Top - End - #180
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    @ MasamuneSSX - I thought that was great, very atmospheric and creepy! More please.

    @ Lycan 01 - I am enjoying the Dark Miko, and also the demon roach commentary!

    I noticed that the Order of the Scribble had yet to get any love, so I'm throwing this into the pile. However, I should say that I don't own a copy of SoD, so apologise in advance if anything I've written here breaks canon for that book.

    Spoiler
    Show


    Girard knows all the reasons why male humans and female halflings getting together is a Really Bad Idea. He's heard all the obscene jokes, seen most of the bathroom graffiti. It's complicated. Not as though she were an elf, an Outsider, or even an Orc, for Loki's sake -- for some reason that he's never fully grasped, demi-humans of the same size are fair game, but other cross-relationships are considered gross and weird, or at best the subject of skeezy bar-room jokes about what one partner is the perfect height to do. He can imagine what the others would say -- Kraagor's quiet disapproval, Dorukan's jokes, Lirian and Soon exchanging that Look of theirs that says 'Oh dear Gods what do the Chaotics think they're doing now?'. He wonders about the physics of it all, too -- probably nothing a simple Potion of Heroism couldn't take care of, but still, imagine if he accidentally hurt -- *eeaargh*. Repressing a shudder, he imagines what his parents would do, he imagines what her parents would do -- hells, the nights have been so long on the Order's latest trek that he's even given some thought to the prospect of unappealingly short and furry-footed children with extremely unfortunate hair.

    So many bad reasons, and only one good one, and it's dancing in and out of the firelight before him right now. Serini, Serini, rich brown eyes the colour of the last autumn leaves and a laugh that crackles like greenwood thrown on a bonfire. It's Harvest festival tonight, or at least it would be in sensible places where there actually *is* a harvest, and she's teaching anyone who wants to learn a dance from her home village. She says it brings good luck for the winter, and that's something the Order needs pretty badly right now.

    'That's it, over, under and through!'. She skips, clapping, under the outstretched arms of Lirian and Dorukan and goes spinning around the fire, giggling and twirling in time to Kraagor's drum. Her face is glowing despite the cool of the evening, one shoulder of her orange dress slipping crooked and thick dark curls leaping and bouncing around her head. Girard can't take his eyes away.

    He watches the pretty, laughing girl, dancing in the firelight with her friends. But in his mind he also holds the image of Serini as the woman who, when Soon has woken the entire camp with his nightmares, always mysteriously seems to be 'awake anyway, I don't need to sleep much, tee hee!' and to have a pot of his favourite tea on the fire. Who taught Dorukan how to darn his own socks (aparently it wasn't covered in wizard school), and who once loaned her entire share of the party's loot to Girard himself for some much-needed spell components and then 'accidentally' forgot to ask for it back. Layered on top of that, he thinks of her as she was the night they stormed the stronghold of the dreaded Baron Pineapple. Slipping halfling-quiet from shadow to shadow in the moonlight, tumbling locks and knifing assassins and smiling like a feral child when at last she held up her daggers dripping with yellow juice.

    Serini, Serini, kind and sweet and wild and vicious, brave and beautiful and always and forever Serini. So many bad reasons, and only one good one.

    Lirian collapses into the leaves beside him, dizzy and exhausted, and autumn-leaf eyes are crackling at him from across her tousled blonde head.

    'Look, Draketooth, I broke the elf! Now, for the last time, you sitting there sulking all night, or are you dancing?'

    That all depends,' he grins. 'You asking, Toormuck?'

    The look on her face is his answer, so he takes her hand, pulls himself to his feet in one long graceful motion, and slowly begins to dance.



    Bonus points to anyone who spots the gratuitous LOTR reference!
    That was simply awesome. I'd like to see more about this pairing from you.

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