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  1. - Top - End - #241
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    Closak's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Ah well, i figured i might as well take a crack at that pairing i got.

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    Closak and his minion Tim were standing in the hall of Crack Pairings.

    "Sir, do you really think this is such a good idea?" Tim asked.

    "Just shut up and do what you are supposed too would you?" Closak answered.

    "Very well, but i don't have to like it"

    With that Closak cast "SUMMON CRACK PAIRING!"

    In a flash of light an Ancient Black Dragon, Belkar and Roy appeared in the room.

    Closak proceeded to explain the situation. Neither Belkar or the dragon appeared to have a problem with it, though Roy looked like he wanted to get the hell out of there.

    While Belkar and dragon "Got on with it" Closak was trying to convince Roy to join in.

    "Look, i know you don't like this but you don't exactly have a choice in the matter" Closak told Roy.

    "Feeling horny baby?" Belkars voice could be heard from some distance away.

    Tim was currently hiding in a corner.

    "I'm not doing it!" Roy said.

    "Too bad, because as i said you do not have a choice...'EPIC DOMINATE PERSON!'"

    Roy failed his save by a mile.

    "Now go and hump the brains out of that dragon" Closak told him.

    Roy walked over and joined in.

    Meanwhile Closak went over to Tim in the corner "Get up and go fetch the video camera, i have a client in the lower planes who will pay a lot for this video!"

    "With all due respect sir...I AM NOT WATCHING THAT!"

    "Do i have to do everything myself?" Closak muttered as he went to get the camera himself.



    Several years later there were reports of psychotic half-dragon halflings going on a killing spree in the town of Cliffport.

    Closak was sitting in a couch and grinning "All is as i have foreseen!"

    Tim perked up from the other side of the room "Umm sir...You are channeling Palpatine again"

    "I know"



    Please do take note that this is my first time ever writing a story so it shouldn't be a surprise if it sucks.


    Also some notes.

    1: Closak is a character i made up a few months back. Suffice to say he's a bit of a jerk.

    2: Tim is an author avatar, AKA self-insert type of character.
    Last edited by Closak; 2009-09-20 at 02:14 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #242
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    *sticks around to catch some* Hey, I wouldn't say no to being a handsome/gorgeous androgynous elf who's as romantically successful as fanon!V seems to be! (Canon!V's romantic life is another proposition entirely, though...)
    V's canonical lack of lovin' is probably why we feel the need to ship her so much.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  3. - Top - End - #243
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Thanks, Esmerelder. :) I was worried that it was too long, but apparently that's not a bad thing here...

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    @ Malkar Grumbo, Kaytara and Carnivorous M - thank you! But the question is, can I aspire to be a *sexy shoeless* god of fic?
    There's only one way to find out. For a serious title like that, we'll need a few more examples to judge by... Like, a hundred or so. Get writing. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    NOOOOOOO! V's androgynous-ness is contagious! Everyone run for your lives!

    Also Thor Person Guy, good work, loved reading it. You too Zanaril, loved the way it went from awkward to threesome at the drop of a hat. Also, nice banner Funky Ghoose, you continue to impress.

    NOW RUN! THE VAARSUVIUS SYNDROME IS SPREADING!
    You do realise that this isn't actually a joke, do you? :D

    I mean, remember Haley's comment abot being mistaken for a man...
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-09-20 at 02:23 PM.
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  4. - Top - End - #244
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    Closak's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Aww, no love for the noob.


    ...You have got to be kidding me *Steals all the remaning brain bleach and uses it all up on myself*

  5. - Top - End - #245
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    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    You do realise that this isn't actually a joke, do you? :D

    I mean, remember Haley's comment abot being mistaken for a man...
    We don't have to worry until someone thinks Belkar is female. We'll know about it because we'll find her daggers stuck in the person responsable.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 02:24 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  6. - Top - End - #246
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    I Rolled Ancient black dragon x Xykon's undead dragon. That could be interesting.

    Clicky click.

  7. - Top - End - #247
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    Meg's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    AUGH! Goshdarn you all. I should be working on my taera de la clase de espanol. Can someone yell at me to stop goofing around, and get something done?

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  8. - Top - End - #248
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    Closak's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    The entire Hobgoblin army x The really dangerous trap.


    ...Anyone wanna try this?


    Also, no comments for my pitiful attemp at writing that ABD x Belkar x Roy i got yesterday?




    Cheesemuncher: STOP GOOFING AROUND AND GET SOMETHING DONE!
    Last edited by Closak; 2009-09-20 at 02:40 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #249
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    You do realise that this isn't actually a joke, do you? :D

    I mean, remember Haley's comment abot being mistaken for a man...
    Oh for the love of crack fic, it's the swine flu of OoTS world, before you know it it's everywhere.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
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  10. - Top - End - #250
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    We don't have to worry until someone thinks Belkar is female. We'll know about it because we'll find her daggers stuck in the person responsable.
    Damn and double damn it. Now all I want is to write a story about Bella Bitterleaf going on a vicious and bloody rampage across the countryside. And what she and her daggers would do to the first smarty-pants male who made any reference to PMT.

    @ Kaytara - I will, as fast as work and my extremely in-need-of-tidying kitchen will let me! :D


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
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  11. - Top - End - #251
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Ookami50 View Post
    I Rolled Ancient black dragon x Xykon's undead dragon. That could be interesting.
    We've had that come up a few times before - maybe the tables are trying to tell us something.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 03:04 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  12. - Top - End - #252
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Aliens made the entire army of hobgobling do it to the eye of fear and flame *sound of brain imploding*

    EDIT: after recovering from severe brain damage, i came out thinkig that, we've seen goblins females more than once, example in Xykon's trhone at the dorukan dungeon, so we have in-comic evidence that goblin females ARE different phisically (well... duh) from male goblin (or hobgoblin in this case), and, inso far, we have seen ANY women in the hobgoblin army, except for those flying archon-like zombies Xykon made out. So the hobgobling army have been around the wrold witout any women, and we know that belkar removed the skull from the eye of fear and flame skeletons, with no evidence of having destroyed the body previously. Therefore we have, and extremely cheese army and a unprotected skeleton body, any thought? Also, im sure aliens we're over all this somehow... cause the dice said it so, and nobody complains with THE DICE.
    Last edited by newcresty; 2009-09-20 at 04:04 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #253
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    HalflingRangerGuy

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    biggrin Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Ookami50 View Post
    I Rolled Ancient black dragon x Xykon's undead dragon.
    Extremely tame!



    Edit: Wow...I serious rolled:
    Spoiler
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    the whole Order of the stick...ALL GENDERSWAPED!!!



    WRITE THIS OR DIE!!!!!
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-20 at 03:14 PM.
    High Priest of

  14. - Top - End - #254
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericOfBelker View Post
    Extremely tame!



    Edit: Wow...I serious rolled:
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    the whole Order of the stick...ALL GENDERSWAPED!!!



    WRITE THIS OR DIE!!!!!
    V wouldn't look any different.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  15. - Top - End - #255
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericOfBelker View Post
    Extremely tame!



    Edit: Wow...I serious rolled:
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    the whole Order of the stick...ALL GENDERSWAPED!!!



    WRITE THIS OR DIE!!!!!
    Oh. My. God.


    *prepares brain bleach*
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
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  16. - Top - End - #256
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Inkyrius + The Guy with a halberd
    Adultery

    Isn't that the guy who married the girl with a halberd? Than this would make totaly sense.

    I also have troubles with a lot of those names. And I've read the entire comic. Twice! Is there any guide who all these people are?
    Last edited by Yora; 2009-09-20 at 03:37 PM.
    We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.

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  17. - Top - End - #257

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    AUGH! Goshdarn you all. I should be working on my taera de la clase de espanol. Can someone yell at me to stop goofing around, and get something done?
    ¡HACE TU TAREA AHORA!

    Nobody point out how/if I messed that up.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  18. - Top - End - #258
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Yaay! Done with my Spanish homework!

    In celebration, here's Teevo + Hieronymus Grubwiggler, with True Love. WARNING: Of questionable quality. I knocked this out in about five minutes.

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    Teevo sat dejectedly in the smoldering ruins of what had once been Xykon’s stronghold, and before that, the Azure City. “Teevo,” it chirped sadly. The poor creature had no way to express its loneliness, even to itself, and just chirped its name, over and over, willing someone to come back for it.

    It had no clue how long it sat, alone and unloved, but one day, weeks later, a lone figure appeared in the distance. This person was different from the looters and brigands Teevo had seen earlier. It lacked the stealth, the subtlety. A well of hope surging deep in its tiny heart, Teevo called out to it. “TEEVO!” it cried.

    The figure started, and looked around, unable to locate the source of the sound. “TEEVO! TEEVO! TEEVO, TEEVO, TEEVO!” The person must have heard the sound, because it began towards Teevo, slowly, uncertain. Soon, it was at Teevo’s side.

    “What in bloody blazes!” cried the man. Teevo’s response was much the same, only expressed in inartculate Teevo sounds. The man who had come to Teevo’s aid could only be loosely categorized as such. He was more like a frog on two legs, with a long white beard and dingy grey robes. Nontheless, Teevo felt a spring of love for the first sapient being it had interacted with in months. The two looked at each other, and the man, Hieronymus Grubwiggler, was his name, finally said, warily, “Well, you haven’t attacked me. I suppose that means you’re on my side. Can you understand me, little man?”

    “Teevo!” said Teevo, perkily.

    Grubwiggler chuckled. “Well then, Teevo, I think this is the start of something beautiful.”


    Also, according to my dictionary, Hieronymus means "Of or relating to St. Jerome." Just a fun fact.

    Also, thanks to those of you who yelled at me. I mean that with as much innocence and sincerity as that sentence can possibly have.
    Last edited by Meg; 2009-09-20 at 03:44 PM.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  19. - Top - End - #259

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Yaay! Done with my Spanish homework!
    See! My yelling was so awesome that I made you finish it in before I said it!
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  20. - Top - End - #260
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Yora View Post
    Inkyrius + The Guy with a halberd
    Adultery
    What's the chances of the random generator picking "adultery" with a character for whom it (until recently) was applicable to?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  21. - Top - End - #261
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    *crawls out desperately from pile of homework* *looks around curiously*

    ...Anyone care to bring me up to speed?

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  22. - Top - End - #262

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    *crawls out desperately from pile of homework* *looks around curiously*

    ...Anyone care to bring me up to speed?
    Umm... more stuff got written and more stuff got drawn?

    ...if that's too simple, I don't really know how to expound more on it.

    ...and if it's too complicated, I don't think I can make it simpler...
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  23. - Top - End - #263
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    *crawls out desperately from pile of homework* *looks around curiously*

    ...Anyone care to bring me up to speed?
    I wrote VaarsuviusxThe Snarl. Because nobody else would.

    And there's a half-dragon-half-halfling running around.

    Kaytara's VxDurkon story is awesomesauce, HaleyxThe Oracle is disturbing.

    The Order of the Scribble have been getting some screen time.

    V's gender ambiguity is contagious.

    We all crave more RCxV.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 03:54 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #264
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    A second thread!? And I missed 9 pages of it!? BLASPHEMY!!!!


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    Founder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.

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    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.

    Magioth made my avatar!

    The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!

    Sequinox

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  25. - Top - End - #265
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Edit: Wow...I serious rolled:
    Spoiler
    the whole Order of the stick...ALL GENDERSWAPED!!!



    WRITE THIS OR DIE!!!!!
    WIsh, command.

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    Rachel Greenhilt glared around at the group, tapping her sword meaningfully against one long, slim chain-mail-clad leg.

    'Alright, we've been stuck like this for over twelve hours now. Has anyone managed to find any kind of sensible explanation for this, or better yet, any kind of solution?'

    'I -' The dwarf opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again, still horrified at the high-pitched, Northern-accented squeak that emerged instead of her (his?) usual deep rumble. 'Ah, Thor's int'mate undergarments! I cannae even talk like maesel' nae more! Lasses, we mus' find a way to lift this curse, an' quickly.'

    'Eh, it could be worse,' the halfling grinned, flicking her long red hair out of her eyes. 'Five sleazy guys have already offered to buy me drinks or dinner, and it isn't even eight o'clock yet'. She held up five separate coin purses and jangled them obnoxiously. 'Plus, nobody seems to mind where you put your hands when you look like this. I'm thinking of taking a level in pickpocket next time we level up: say hello to Bella Bitterleaf, halfling rogue!'

    Rachel patted Durquine (who'd now started weeping into her tankard of ale) gently on the shoulder, and glared Bella into submission. 'Does anyone else have any - oh, for goodness' sake, that about does it! Where in all the hells have those two got to? V, have you seen Elaine and Harry?'.

    V set down the glass of elven wine, looking pale and haggard. 'I am afraid that the bard and Mr. Starshine have not been seen since early this morning, shortly after we first became aware that the curse had taken effect. They began discoursing most earnestly about 'needing to run some important experiments', and subsequently disappeared back into their bedroom. Most odd, as I was not aware that either of them possessed significant expertise regarding this particular type of magical misfortune.'

    Rachel clutched her forehead. 'Any theories? Anyone? Could it be Xykon's work? A magical artifact we've somehow triggered?' An idea struck her, lighting up the dark, narrow features. 'Hey, maybe it's some trick of the Linear Guild! This sort of petty stupidity seems about Nale's speed.'

    Durquine sighed. 'I'm afeared nae, lass. I saw Nale - um, Narelle - in the town square this aefertnoon. She were screamin' about how she'd lost her 'most important possession' and was gaun tae make us Order o' the Stick bastards - '

    '- bitches - ' Bella corrected with a smirk.

    ' - pay. The half-orc was wi' her, wearin' a pink party dress and some kindae dancin' slippers. The most disturbin' thing about it was,' the dwarf sighed heavily, and fingered her own newly-smooth features, 'that for some reason the spell hadn'a taken off the goatee.'

    V set down the glass with a small, decisive 'thud'. 'This situation is intolerable! My long day's researches have revealed nothing. Nothing! I must discover a way to address this problem before conditions deteriorate to the point of even further humiliation and discomfort!'.

    'Look, I don't know what you're complaining about, V' Rachel snapped, 'it's not as though the situation's really caused you any serious problems.'

    The elf stared incredulously at her. 'Lady Greenhilt, I presume that you jest. While I appreciate that this predicament has caused all of you no small social embarrassment and physical difficulty, combined with the confusion and stress inherent in being the subject of an unidentified curse, surely you must appreciate that for myself, the situation has been most dire of all.'

    Three sets of wide eyes were staring at the elf.

    'Lad - or lass, I'm still nae sure - ' Durquine began -

    '- WHAT, in the seven fiery hells - ' continued Bella -

    '- do you think you're talking about!?!' concluded Rachel.

    'Isn't it obvious, you oblivious buffoons?' V leapt out of the chair, upright posture screaming haughty offence. 'I am now stuck with over a dozen sets of robes, all of which button up the wrong side!'.

    As the elf flounced up the stairs in a huff, Rachel slumped forward with a muffled sob, burying her face in her hands.

    'Sae. Bella, lass. Aboot this gettin'-drinks-bought-for-ye business...'

    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-09-20 at 04:09 PM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  26. - Top - End - #266
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    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Hehehe, hilarious. :D

    You know, this thread has a few fancomics that play with much the same scenario. :D Then again, I think you DO know already. :D

    EDIT: Wait, where's the pairing? Ah, okay. It appears we've evolved or deteriorated into a generic fanfic thread. Which is just fine with me. :D I prefer variety. :D
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-09-20 at 04:10 PM.
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  27. - Top - End - #267
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    Wish, command.
    Bwahahahaha!

    To be honest, I never undersood the whole thing about button position being gender specific.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    EDIT: Wait, where's the pairing? Ah, okay. It appears we've evolved or deteriorated into a generic fanfic thread. Which is just fine with me. :D I prefer variety. :D
    So much of fanfiction is pairing anyway that even if this was the Fanfiction thread rather than the Crack Pairings thread, people would still come here expecting shipping.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 04:16 PM.
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  28. - Top - End - #268
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    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    ...Where do V's robes have buttons on them, anyway?

    ...Probably best not to know...

    Oh, and Esmerelder, I absolutely loved how you handled Durkon's accent... XD


    Hm, I just rolled...

    (Belkar + ((Gender-switched Tsukiko) + Vaarsuvius)) + (Gender-switched Monster in the Dark)

    True love, of all the darndest things.

    ...Anyone up for this?
    Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-09-20 at 04:19 PM.
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  29. - Top - End - #269

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    WIsh, command.

    Spoiler
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    Rachel Greenhilt glared around at the group, tapping her sword meaningfully against one long, slim chain-mail-clad leg.

    'Alright, we've been stuck like this for over twelve hours now. Has anyone managed to find any kind of sensible explanation for this, or better yet, any kind of solution?'

    'I -' The dwarf opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again, still horrified at the high-pitched, Northern-accented squeak that emerged instead of her (his?) usual deep rumble. 'Ah, Thor's int'mate undergarments! I cannae even talk like maesel' nae more! Lasses, we mus' find a way to lift this curse, an' quickly.'

    'Eh, it could be worse,' the halfling grinned, flicking her long red hair out of her eyes. 'Five sleazy guys have already offered to buy me drinks or dinner, and it isn't even eight o'clock yet'. She held up five separate coin purses and jangled them obnoxiously. 'Plus, nobody seems to mind where you put your hands when you look like this. I'm thinking of taking a level in pickpocket next time we level up: say hello to Bella Bitterleaf, halfling rogue!'

    Rachel patted Durquine (who'd now started weeping into her tankard of ale) gently on the shoulder, and glared Bella into submission. 'Does anyone else have any - oh, for goodness' sake, that about does it! Where in all the hells have those two got to? V, have you seen Elaine and Harry?'.

    V set down the glass of elven wine, looking pale and haggard. 'I am afraid that the bard and Mr. Starshine have not been seen since early this morning, shortly after we first became aware that the curse had taken effect. They began discoursing most earnestly about 'needing to run some important experiments', and subsequently disappeared back into their bedroom. Most odd, as I was not aware that either of them possessed significant expertise regarding this particular type of magical misfortune.'

    Rachel clutched her forehead. 'Any theories? Anyone? Could it be Xykon's work? A magical artifact we've somehow triggered?' An idea struck her, lighting up the dark, narrow features. 'Hey, maybe it's some trick of the Linear Guild! This sort of petty stupidity seems about Nale's speed.'

    Durquine sighed. 'I'm afeared nae, lass. I saw Nale - um, Narelle - in the town square this aefertnoon. She were screamin' about how she'd lost her 'most important possession' and was gaun tae make us Order o' the Stick bastards - '

    '- bitches - ' Bella corrected with a smirk.

    ' - pay. The half-orc was wi' her, wearin' a pink party dress and some kindae dancin' slippers. The most disturbin' thing about it was,' the dwarf sighed heavily, and fingered her own newly-smooth features, 'that for some reason the spell hadn'a taken off the goatee.'

    V set down the glass with a small, decisive 'thud'. 'This situation is intolerable! My long day's researches have revealed nothing. Nothing! I must discover a way to address this problem before conditions deteriorate to the point of even further humiliation and discomfort!'.

    'Look, I don't know what you're complaining about, V' Rachel snapped, 'it's not as though the situation's really caused you any serious problems.'

    The elf stared incredulously at her. 'Lady Greenhilt, I presume that you jest. While I appreciate that this predicament has caused all of you no small social embarrassment and physical difficulty, combined with the confusion and stress inherent in being the subject of an unidentified curse, surely you must appreciate that for myself, the situation has been most dire of all.'

    Three sets of wide eyes were staring at the elf.

    'Lad - or lass, I'm still nae sure - ' Durquine began -

    '- WHAT, in the seven fiery hells - ' continued Bella -

    '- do you think you're talking about!?!' concluded Rachel.

    'Isn't it obvious, you oblivious buffoons?' V leapt out of the chair, upright posture screaming haughty offence. 'I am now stuck with over a dozen sets of robes, all of which button up the wrong side!'.

    As the elf flounced up the stairs in a huff, Rachel slumped forward with a muffled sob, burying her face in her hands.

    'Sae. Bella, lass. Aboot this gettin'-drinks-bought-for-ye business...'

    You know, the first time I read this, I thought Royachel said they'd been like that for 12 years.

    It made a lot more sense when I reread it.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  30. - Top - End - #270
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    esmerelder's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    ..Where do V's robes have buttons on them, anyway?
    On the INSIDE! All the better to be unbuttoned... :D

    I guess I could argue that the pairing in there was genderswapped Elan/Haley (or Elaine/Harry!), but that a) didn't actually appear onstage and b) is so far from being crack that it just isn't funny, so fair call! Thanks for the pointer to the comic - I hadn't seen that before, and it's adorable!
    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-09-20 at 04:26 PM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

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