New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 10 of 50 FirstFirst 123456789101112131415161718192035 ... LastLast
Results 271 to 300 of 1486
  1. - Top - End - #271
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Redcloak + Xykon
    True love

    ... I feel I should leave this for someone who can actually write.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  2. - Top - End - #272
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    About-2-BackStab-You-Land
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    WIsh, command.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Rachel Greenhilt glared around at the group, tapping her sword meaningfully against one long, slim chain-mail-clad leg.

    'Alright, we've been stuck like this for over twelve hours now. Has anyone managed to find any kind of sensible explanation for this, or better yet, any kind of solution?'

    'I -' The dwarf opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again, still horrified at the high-pitched, Northern-accented squeak that emerged instead of her (his?) usual deep rumble. 'Ah, Thor's int'mate undergarments! I cannae even talk like maesel' nae more! Lasses, we mus' find a way to lift this curse, an' quickly.'

    'Eh, it could be worse,' the halfling grinned, flicking her long red hair out of her eyes. 'Five sleazy guys have already offered to buy me drinks or dinner, and it isn't even eight o'clock yet'. She held up five separate coin purses and jangled them obnoxiously. 'Plus, nobody seems to mind where you put your hands when you look like this. I'm thinking of taking a level in pickpocket next time we level up: say hello to Bella Bitterleaf, halfling rogue!'

    Rachel patted Durquine (who'd now started weeping into her tankard of ale) gently on the shoulder, and glared Bella into submission. 'Does anyone else have any - oh, for goodness' sake, that about does it! Where in all the hells have those two got to? V, have you seen Elaine and Harry?'.

    V set down the glass of elven wine, looking pale and haggard. 'I am afraid that the bard and Mr. Starshine have not been seen since early this morning, shortly after we first became aware that the curse had taken effect. They began discoursing most earnestly about 'needing to run some important experiments', and subsequently disappeared back into their bedroom. Most odd, as I was not aware that either of them possessed significant expertise regarding this particular type of magical misfortune.'

    Rachel clutched her forehead. 'Any theories? Anyone? Could it be Xykon's work? A magical artifact we've somehow triggered?' An idea struck her, lighting up the dark, narrow features. 'Hey, maybe it's some trick of the Linear Guild! This sort of petty stupidity seems about Nale's speed.'

    Durquine sighed. 'I'm afeared nae, lass. I saw Nale - um, Narelle - in the town square this aefertnoon. She were screamin' about how she'd lost her 'most important possession' and was gaun tae make us Order o' the Stick bastards - '

    '- bitches - ' Bella corrected with a smirk.

    ' - pay. The half-orc was wi' her, wearin' a pink party dress and some kindae dancin' slippers. The most disturbin' thing about it was,' the dwarf sighed heavily, and fingered her own newly-smooth features, 'that for some reason the spell hadn'a taken off the goatee.'

    V set down the glass with a small, decisive 'thud'. 'This situation is intolerable! My long day's researches have revealed nothing. Nothing! I must discover a way to address this problem before conditions deteriorate to the point of even further humiliation and discomfort!'.

    'Look, I don't know what you're complaining about, V' Rachel snapped, 'it's not as though the situation's really caused you any serious problems.'

    The elf stared incredulously at her. 'Lady Greenhilt, I presume that you jest. While I appreciate that this predicament has caused all of you no small social embarrassment and physical difficulty, combined with the confusion and stress inherent in being the subject of an unidentified curse, surely you must appreciate that for myself, the situation has been most dire of all.'

    Three sets of wide eyes were staring at the elf.

    'Lad - or lass, I'm still nae sure - ' Durquine began -

    '- WHAT, in the seven fiery hells - ' continued Bella -

    '- do you think you're talking about!?!' concluded Rachel.

    'Isn't it obvious, you oblivious buffoons?' V leapt out of the chair, upright posture screaming haughty offence. 'I am now stuck with over a dozen sets of robes, all of which button up the wrong side!'.

    As the elf flounced up the stairs in a huff, Rachel slumped forward with a muffled sob, burying her face in her hands.

    'Sae. Bella, lass. Aboot this gettin'-drinks-bought-for-ye business...'



    No. 2
    Spoiler
    Show
    "XYHON!!!!!" Screeched Pinkcloak "WHY IN THE NINE HELLS DID YOU DO THIS!!!" "Don't look at me!" Said Xyhonette "I had nothing to do with this!" "Wait...a...minute..." Said Pinkcloak "No, that can't be it"
    "WHAT!?"
    "Well I just realized we might just possi-"
    "GET TO THE %^&$ POINT"
    "OK! OK! We might be in another Crack Pairing?
    "Oh. In that case I should be waking up in about 5 seconds! !"
    "I would'nt count on it."
    "You mean that..this is...real."

    Pinkcloack nodded sadly

    "...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-20 at 04:27 PM.
    High Priest of

  3. - Top - End - #273
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    ...why would Xykon even notice?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  4. - Top - End - #274
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by esmerelder View Post
    WIsh, command.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Rachel Greenhilt glared around at the group, tapping her sword meaningfully against one long, slim chain-mail-clad leg.

    'Alright, we've been stuck like this for over twelve hours now. Has anyone managed to find any kind of sensible explanation for this, or better yet, any kind of solution?'

    'I -' The dwarf opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again, still horrified at the high-pitched, Northern-accented squeak that emerged instead of her (his?) usual deep rumble. 'Ah, Thor's int'mate undergarments! I cannae even talk like maesel' nae more! Lasses, we mus' find a way to lift this curse, an' quickly.'

    'Eh, it could be worse,' the halfling grinned, flicking her long red hair out of her eyes. 'Five sleazy guys have already offered to buy me drinks or dinner, and it isn't even eight o'clock yet'. She held up five separate coin purses and jangled them obnoxiously. 'Plus, nobody seems to mind where you put your hands when you look like this. I'm thinking of taking a level in pickpocket next time we level up: say hello to Bella Bitterleaf, halfling rogue!'

    Rachel patted Durquine (who'd now started weeping into her tankard of ale) gently on the shoulder, and glared Bella into submission. 'Does anyone else have any - oh, for goodness' sake, that about does it! Where in all the hells have those two got to? V, have you seen Elaine and Harry?'.

    V set down the glass of elven wine, looking pale and haggard. 'I am afraid that the bard and Mr. Starshine have not been seen since early this morning, shortly after we first became aware that the curse had taken effect. They began discoursing most earnestly about 'needing to run some important experiments', and subsequently disappeared back into their bedroom. Most odd, as I was not aware that either of them possessed significant expertise regarding this particular type of magical misfortune.'

    Rachel clutched her forehead. 'Any theories? Anyone? Could it be Xykon's work? A magical artifact we've somehow triggered?' An idea struck her, lighting up the dark, narrow features. 'Hey, maybe it's some trick of the Linear Guild! This sort of petty stupidity seems about Nale's speed.'

    Durquine sighed. 'I'm afeared nae, lass. I saw Nale - um, Narelle - in the town square this aefertnoon. She were screamin' about how she'd lost her 'most important possession' and was gaun tae make us Order o' the Stick bastards - '

    '- bitches - ' Bella corrected with a smirk.

    ' - pay. The half-orc was wi' her, wearin' a pink party dress and some kindae dancin' slippers. The most disturbin' thing about it was,' the dwarf sighed heavily, and fingered her own newly-smooth features, 'that for some reason the spell hadn'a taken off the goatee.'

    V set down the glass with a small, decisive 'thud'. 'This situation is intolerable! My long day's researches have revealed nothing. Nothing! I must discover a way to address this problem before conditions deteriorate to the point of even further humiliation and discomfort!'.

    'Look, I don't know what you're complaining about, V' Rachel snapped, 'it's not as though the situation's really caused you any serious problems.'

    The elf stared incredulously at her. 'Lady Greenhilt, I presume that you jest. While I appreciate that this predicament has caused all of you no small social embarrassment and physical difficulty, combined with the confusion and stress inherent in being the subject of an unidentified curse, surely you must appreciate that for myself, the situation has been most dire of all.'

    Three sets of wide eyes were staring at the elf.

    'Lad - or lass, I'm still nae sure - ' Durquine began -

    '- WHAT, in the seven fiery hells - ' continued Bella -

    '- do you think you're talking about!?!' concluded Rachel.

    'Isn't it obvious, you oblivious buffoons?' V leapt out of the chair, upright posture screaming haughty offence. 'I am now stuck with over a dozen sets of robes, all of which button up the wrong side!'.

    As the elf flounced up the stairs in a huff, Rachel slumped forward with a muffled sob, burying her face in her hands.

    'Sae. Bella, lass. Aboot this gettin'-drinks-bought-for-ye business...'

    Great Job! I enjoyed reading this, are you going to continue it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    ...why would Xykon even notice?
    Maybe it stuck a wig on his (now her) head.
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-20 at 04:37 PM.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  5. - Top - End - #275
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    Maybe it stuck a wig on his (now her) head.
    But... he wouldn't have hair even if he were female!
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  6. - Top - End - #276
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    But... he wouldn't have hair even if he were female!
    It's OoTS, it doesn't have to make sense if it's for the funny.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  7. - Top - End - #277
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    It's OoTS, it doesn't have to make sense if it's for the funny.
    I just think it would be funnier if his robes had turned into a frilly dress, that's all.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  8. - Top - End - #278
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    About-2-BackStab-You-Land
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    ...why would Xykon even notice?
    Think"Bone"!

    Note the quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I just think it would be funnier if his robes had turned into a frilly dress, that's all.
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-20 at 04:53 PM.
    High Priest of

  9. - Top - End - #279
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I just think it would be funnier if his robes had turned into a frilly dress, that's all.
    Who says they didn't... Now try to imagine that and sleep well at night...

    Oh crud, I just thought of it... I need brain bleach, stat!
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  10. - Top - End - #280
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericOfBelker View Post
    Think"Bone"!
    Just... no.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 04:50 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  11. - Top - End - #281

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericOfBelker View Post
    Think"Bone"!

    Note the quotes



    I'd point out how "bone" isn't really that good of a word to use in this case, but I don't feel like getting all biology-y.

    Anyone who's done something here can display this in their sig:


    Have fun.

    Err.... wait, there's a max size for images, right?

    While I type up my story/do my homework, someone check if this fits, rules-wise. Please? :3
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-20 at 04:57 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  12. - Top - End - #282
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Someone needs to take Sgeo's Pair Generator away from me before someone gets hurt or emotionally scarred.

    Here's Roy + Roy's Archon with Drunkenness.

    Spoiler
    Show

    The little gold ball of light trembled. “R-Roy, this isn’t supposed to happen.”

    Roy’s face was too close the Archon, beer on his breath. “I don’t care,” he slurred, “You shed dis was the tavern of one night shtands, and yer the only one here I wanna...” He trailed off, making an obscene gesture indicative of the meaning of the unsaid words.

    Roy’s Archon’s thoughts whirled. It was not unheard of for an Archon to fall in love with their charge. But to act on that feeling was highly unprofessional, especially if the only chance you had of consummating that relationship involved capitalizing on the charge’s inebriation.

    What was more important? The job of a lifetime, or the chance of a lifetime?

    Emboldened, the little ball of light purred, “Okay then, Honey. Let’s find a room.”

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  13. - Top - End - #283
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkar Grumbo View Post
    Who says they didn't... Now try to imagine that and sleep well at night...

    Oh crud, I just thought of it... I need brain bleach, stat!
    Now you don't even have to use your imagination:





    ...Wait, did I just draw what I think I did?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  14. - Top - End - #284
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Blackbird's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Nebraska, USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Now you don't even have to use your imagination:





    ...Wait, did I just draw what I think I did?
    This deserves an award.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Left-Eye by NamonakiRei
    Stick swordsman of the Kyrie fanclub!
    My bro's homebrew class.

    How to: Glibness

    Spoiler
    Show

  15. - Top - End - #285
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Blackbird View Post
    This deserves an award.
    It comes with a one-way trip to the lower planes, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Err.... wait, there's a max size for images, right?

    While I type up my story/do my homework, someone check if this fits, rules-wise. Please? :3
    Max size is 468x120 pixels.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-20 at 05:16 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  16. - Top - End - #286

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Someone needs to take Sgeo's Pair Generator away from me before someone gets hurt or emotionally scarred.

    Here's Roy + Roy's Archon with Drunkenness.

    Spoiler
    Show

    The little gold ball of light trembled. “R-Roy, this isn’t supposed to happen.”

    Roy’s face was too close the Archon, beer on his breath. “I don’t care,” he slurred, “You shed dis was the tavern of one night shtands, and yer the only one here I wanna...” He trailed off, making an obscene gesture indicative of the meaning of the unsaid words.

    Roy’s Archon’s thoughts whirled. It was not unheard of for an Archon to fall in love with their charge. But to act on that feeling was highly unprofessional, especially if the only chance you had of consummating that relationship involved capitalizing on the charge’s inebriation.

    What was more important? The job of a lifetime, or the chance of a lifetime?

    Emboldened, the little ball of light purred, “Okay then, Honey. Let’s find a room.”
    I... I think it ended too early.

    And now I'm awfully curious about how this would work.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  17. - Top - End - #287
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I... I think it ended too early.

    And now I'm awfully curious about how this would work.
    If you want to continue that, be my guest. And, because I think the Zanaril's pic wasn't upsetting enough...

    Spoiler
    Show




    Note that Xykon is dressed as Disney Cinderella.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  18. - Top - End - #288
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    I have to say... Xykon in a dress is probably the most disturbing thing I've seen so far in either of the Crack Pairing Threads.


    Gah! So much crack, so little time! I'm so far behind, but by the time I catch up, I'll STILL be behind! And if I just skip stories to catch up, then I'm being a jerk, and I'm missing out on the awesomenes... I want to write some more stuff of my own, too, but I don't want to until I'm caught up. Plus, I've got two tests to study for tommorrow, so my time to spare is even SHORTER. WHAT DO I DO?!
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  19. - Top - End - #289

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    If you want to continue that, be my guest. And, because I think the Zanaril's pic wasn't upsetting enough...
    Nah, I'm good. I prefer to read other people's stories, which makes it even more surprising that I wrote this.

    If you people actually like it (I don't, I feel they're both out of character, but one of them has a reason, at least), then maybe I'll turn it into a series. Especially since I didn't get relationshippy at all, it's mostly Nale moping.

    Spoiler
    Show
    "The end, I suppose," Nale thought as he felt the rain hit his face and the waves lick at his chest. If he had been a Bard like his brother, he'd surely be pointing out to himself how fitting a death it was; physically drowning as his sorrow drowned him emotionally. Quite poetic. But, he wasn't a Bard, he was just Nale.

    Of course, he wasn't always just Nale. He used to be a villain, and a damn good one if he said so himself, but it all fell apart in the final battle against his brother and his idiotic friends. The closest thing he'd ever had to a friend and the woman he loved were both dead, and he should be too. But he wasn't, for whatever reason. Instead, he had washed up on the shore of this island with 0 HP. It didn't really make any sense, but Nale didn't care anymore.

    Nale's thoughts were broken when he began coughing up the rain that had collected in his mouth. It seemed he couldn't even die right. He sighed, and began debating whether he'd die from hypothermia or starvation, when a voice piped up behind him.

    "Hello there." Nale didn't bother to look at who was talking.

    "Go away. Let me die," he cough, the tide now up to his neck.

    "Sorry, but I need some company, and I'm lacking the spell components and divine focuses I need to create undead. Cure Critical Wounds."

    "Go away," Nale repeated, wincing as he felt some of his wounds numb and heal.

    "Jeez, I'm saving your life, and you just keep telling me to go away."

    "I didn't ask you to save my life."

    "When did you turn so emo? I don't remember you being like this," the voice said.

    "You know me?"

    "We've met a few times." Nale sighed, before turning his head to see whoever was talking, and there stood a cute young lady with mismatched eyes in a black dress. Her hair, which if Nale remembered correctly was usually in ponytails , was wild, wet and knotted, and her dress was torn in several places. She had obviously been in some sort of struggle, likely a battle. "Recognize me now?" she asked, smirking and striking a pose.

    "You're the Mystic Theurge from Azure City, right?" She smiled.

    "Glad you could remember me, but I really prefer the title Necromancer."

    "Great. So go make some zombies and leave me alone," Nale said, returning to his original position.

    "I just told you, I can't cast my spells. You're the only company I have for now, and until that changes, I'm not letting you go," Tsukiko said, pulling Nale up from the sand.

    "I'm flattered you care so much for my well-being," Nale replied, rolling his eyes. Tsukiko smiled.

    "Well I'm going to need somebody to have fun with while I'm here."


    I've always wanted to write a story where somebody was stranded on an island.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-20 at 06:20 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  20. - Top - End - #290
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Nah, I'm good. I prefer to read other people's stories, which makes it even more surprising that I wrote this.

    If you people actually like it (I don't, I feel they're both out of character, but one of them has a reason, at least), then maybe I'll turn it into a series. Especially since I didn't get relationshippy at all, it's mostly Nale moping.

    Spoiler
    Show
    "The end, I suppose," Nale thought as he felt the rain hit his face and the waves lick at his chest. If he had been a Bard like his brother, he'd surely be pointing out to himself how fitting a death it was; physically drowning as his sorrow drowned him emotionally. Quite poetic. But, he wasn't a Bard, he was just Nale.

    Of course, he wasn't always just Nale. He used to be a villain, and a damn good one if he said so himself, but it all fell apart in the final battle against his brother and his idiotic friends. The closest thing he'd ever had to a friend and the woman he loved were both dead, and he should be too. But he wasn't, for whatever reason. Instead, he had washed up on the shore of this island with 0 HP. It didn't really make any sense, but Nale didn't care anymore.

    Nale's thoughts were broken when he began coughing up the rain that had collected in his mouth. It seemed he couldn't even die right. He sighed, and began debating whether he'd die from hypothermia or starvation, when a voice piped up behind him.

    "Hello there." Nale didn't bother to look at who was talking.

    "Go away. Let me die," he cough, the tide now up to his neck.

    "Sorry, but I need some company, and I'm lacking the spell components and divine focuses I need to create undead. Cure Critical Wounds."

    "Go away," Nale repeated, wincing as he felt some of his wounds numb and heal.

    "Jeez, I'm saving your life, and you just keep telling me to go away."

    "I didn't ask you to save my life."

    "When did you turn so emo? I don't remember you being like this," the voice said.

    "You know me?"

    "We've met a few times." Nale sighed, before turning his head to see whoever was talking, and there stood a cute young lady with mismatched eyes in a black dress. Her hair, which if Nale remembered correctly was usually in ponytails , was wild, wet and knotted, and her dress was torn in several places. She had obviously been in some sort of struggle, likely a battle. "Recognize me now?" she asked, smirking and striking a pose.

    "You're the Mystic Theurge from Azure City, right?" She smiled.

    "Glad you could remember me, but I really prefer the title Necromancer."

    "Great. So go make some zombies and leave me alone," Nale said, returning to his original position.

    "I just told you, I can't cast my spells. You're the only company I have for now, and until that changes, I'm not letting you go," Tsukiko said, pulling Nale up from the sand.

    "I'm flattered you care so much for my well-being," Nale replied, rolling his eyes. Tsukiko smiled.

    "Well I'm going to need somebody to have fun with while I'm here."
    I liked it. It was pretty simple, which is sort of a refreshing change. Now I must leave, for there is steak in my near future. Mmmm, steak.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  21. - Top - End - #291
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    It would break your mind.

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Now you don't even have to use your imagination:





    ...Wait, did I just draw what I think I did?
    MY RETINAS ARE ON FIRE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    If you want to continue that, be my guest. And, because I think the Zanaril's pic wasn't upsetting enough...

    Spoiler
    Show




    Note that Xykon is dressed as Disney Cinderella.
    WHY?! WHY THE BURNING?!
    Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-20 at 06:38 PM.
    I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 9
    Dexterity- 11
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 12
    Wisdom- 11
    Charisma- 11

  22. - Top - End - #292

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Lira View Post
    Crack Pairings Art Compilation

    Spoiler
    Show
    Art by Tira-chan

    Spock and Vaarsuvius.
    I just now noticed the copy of The Lightning Thief in the background. Tira-chan, you now have my undying respect.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  23. - Top - End - #293
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    half-halfling's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Hello Everyone!
    This is my first post on this forum, although I've been reading it for few months. I'm not very good at English (at least when it comes to writing, I understand almost everything), so I won't be writing much.

    Unfortunatelly (or fortunatelly ) magic of crack pairing thread worked on me. Here's my comic:

    genderflipped V x genderflipped V ,Stuck on a desert island:

    Spoiler
    Show




    What do You think about it?
    I hope You can understand everything . If there are any mistakes, plase correct me. I think Vaarsuvius should say something in the last panel, but I had no idea what it should be.

    p.s. in FAQ it's written that it's possible to add picture from hard drive. Is this function disabled, or I just can't find "Manage attachment" button?
    Last edited by half-halfling; 2009-09-21 at 09:02 AM.

  24. - Top - End - #294
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    Hello Everyone!

    Spoiler
    Show


    ...

    ...

    ...

    *bursts out laughing* That was hysterical! Awesome!

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  25. - Top - End - #295
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    @ Dark Fiddler: That was actually pretty good. Nale was sad, but well written. Tsukiko's presence was funny, albeit unexplained. But who cares? Its a crack pairing, and I wouldn't mind seeing more!


    @ Half-Halfing: BWAHAH HAHAHAH HAHA HAHAH!! DUDE, THAT WAS AWESOME!! Oh man, that was a great comic... And I think it is better that V said nothing in the last panel. It basically says they're too shocked to speak, which makes it even funnier.

    I can't wait to see what you come up with next. And as a reward for braving the horrors of the Crack Pairing Thread AND gifting us with such awesomeness, have a Mega-Cookie!

    *hands Half-Halfling a Mega-Cookie*
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  26. - Top - End - #296
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Land of Clocks and Stars
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    Hello Everyone!
    This is my first post on this forum, although I've been reading it for few months. I'm not very good at English (at least when it comes to writing, I understand almost everything), so I won't be writing much.

    Unfortunatelly (or fortunatelly ) magic of crack pairing thread worked on me. Here's my comic:

    genderflipped V x genderflipped V ,Stuck on a desert island:

    Spoiler
    Show




    What do You think about it?
    I hope You can understand everything . If there are any mistakes, plase correct me. I think Vaarsuvius should say something in the last panel, but I had no idea what it should be.

    p.s. in FAQ it's written that it's possible to add picture from hard drive. Is this function disabled, or I just can't find "Manage attachment" button?
    Awesome! *dunks brain in bleach* you should do a sig showing the mental images kissing and V staring at them in horror.


    BTW, you spelled "view" wrong in the 3rd panel.
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  27. - Top - End - #297
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Half-halfling, that was completely awesome. :) What a brilliant way to handle such a wacky pairing! :D The idea of a Personification of Inner Masculinity/Femininity is brilliant, too. My only complaint is that in the third panel V doesn't sound very in-character, the "yeah" and the extremely defensive tone sounds more like something Belkar would say. I'd expect V to say something like "Is that so? Pray tell, what makes you think I have any concealed feminity to speak of in the first place? Let us see your point of view on a Fireball spell straight to your obsolete cranium!"

    Completely awesomesauce, though. :)
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
    My art on Instagram

  28. - Top - End - #298
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    genderflipped V x genderflipped V ,Stuck on a desert island:
    Up until panel five, I was thinking "So.. V is a guy?"

    Then I saw the next panel. It just makes so much sense.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  29. - Top - End - #299

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    Hello Everyone!
    This is my first post on this forum, although I've been reading it for few months. I'm not very good at English (at least when it comes to writing, I understand almost everything), so I won't be writing much.

    Unfortunatelly (or fortunatelly ) magic of crack pairing thread worked on me. Here's my comic:

    genderflipped V x genderflipped V ,Stuck on a desert island:

    Spoiler
    Show




    What do You think about it?
    I hope You can understand everything . If there are any mistakes, plase correct me. I think Vaarsuvius should say something in the last panel, but I had no idea what it should be.

    p.s. in FAQ it's written that it's possible to add picture from hard drive. Is this function disabled, or I just can't find "Manage attachment" button?
    I loved it, it was awesome. There was a typo or two, but that's ok, everyone makes those eventually.

    I think the attachment function is mod-only, to save server space.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  30. - Top - End - #300
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    About-2-BackStab-You-Land
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    No. 3

    Spoiler
    Show
    "AAAAGGGHHH!!!!" Shouted Xyhonette "Thank Evilness it was just a dream"
    She stood up and looking around she said "And how did I sleep, anywa-"
    She spoted a mirror. "$#^% IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "...Well at least I can change out of this stupid dress"

    She opened her closet and stared in horror at the clothes withen.


    "...NOOOOOO! NOT MORE DRESSES!!!!!!!!"


    Ochul woke up inside his cage, like usual when he heard the MiTD say:

    "Good Morning Ms. Stiffly!"
    "Good morning Monster Sa-. Wait, did you just call me a...girl?
    "Yep!"
    "But, why did you-?"

    She stared down at herself in horror.

    "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"


    So much for Ochul being in the Non-Baby Eating Club!

    Ok...Bad Joke.
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-09-21 at 07:58 AM.
    High Priest of

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •