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  1. - Top - End - #1201
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    waterpenguin43's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Undead Miko + Tsusiko:
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    "Ugh!!" said Miko, the spell smashing her soul back into her repaired body. She looked around hopefully, thinking the Sapphire Guard had brought her back to life, but her smile quickly faded as she realized she had the palest of flesh, and her eyes cast a red glow on to a person she had hated for eternity: The bearer of the Crimson Mantle.
    "Hey wait, I recognize you." he said, hatefully. Miko rushed to attack, but she no longer had her katana or wakizashi, so she tried to smite him with her bare fists, but she could not smite evil, instead, flame-colored aura sprung up instead, and she did not even touch him before pausing to observe this.
    "H-how" said Miko, horrified.
    "Simple, your own fiery nature caused you to lose your paladin powers, and as your holy energy is replaced by that of the Abyss, you shall be armede with that unholy fire instead." said the smirking goblin.
    "You have two purposes, as an undead. The first is to be a champion in battle, in case those pesky Azurites return, the next is to keep Tsusiko busy"
    he said with a truly evil smile on his face.
    Miko was in too much pain to answer, she felt te Twelve gods energy drain even more, and Abyssal power filled the gap. She was almost through her transformation into insanity.
    "Tsusiko!! Your toy is ready!!" yelled Redcloak up the stairs.
    Already, the eager looking girl sprung through the door, with a look of sinister craving on her face.
    "Okay then, come upstairs little Blackguard!!" she cackled.
    Miko was fully into nsanity now, and she cackled as well, and went up the stairs.
    As Redcloak watched them ascend he thought: "Xykon BETTER increase my pay check!!" and went to bed.
    Beautiful avatar by Mr_Saturn
    Quote Originally Posted by Maximum Zersk View Post
    ...I think that counts as your own Crowning Moment of Awesome, WP.
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    Lovely avatar of an NPC in Camp Half-Blood of mine by Crimson Angel:
    Thanks to Green Bean for my Spheal avatar.

    Also thanks to VT for awarding me with a VT monster competition award.


    Four internets and a cookie!

  2. - Top - End - #1202
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WhiteWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Are those SoD spoilers?

    You should say so, so nobody else reads them without having read the book, like I did...

    If not, continue as you are.
    All right, got rid of any controversy. Replaced SoD guys with others.

  3. - Top - End - #1203
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    TBH, I think anyone fanatical enough about OOTS to be reading and/or writing fanfiction will already have found about about the additional backstory from other sources.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  4. - Top - End - #1204
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    You know, I really should be working on my other projects. >.> And my homework...

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    “Hey, is the elf a screamer? ‘Cuz that might explain some sounds I’ve been hearing from its prison.”

    “Will you just shut up?! I have no interest in thinking about V like that!” Roy growled and jumped up, wildly slicing upward to get the lich. At this point, Elan was holding his stomach while looking nauseous and Durkon was looking decidedly green. Belkar had outright quit trying to get Xykon and just slapped his hands over his ears, a weird combination of disgust, irritation, and something else unnamed plastered over his face. “Seriously! That’s really sick!”

    “Hey, it’s not my fault that your spell caster is a frickin’ whore who’ll sleep with whatever can keep it out of a torture chamber!”

    An arrow came flying and slammed right through his empty eye socket and he suddenly grew a halfling with daggers on his ankle.

    “…Ow. How the hell did you jump up here?!”

    Xykon casually pulled the arrow out of his skull and shook the leg with the stab-happy halfling on it. “Hey, get off. Only room for one on this ride.”

    More stabbing. Xykon mused that the halfling should probably invest in metal that could actually harm liches.

    “Alrighty, then. Meteor Swarm.”

    “SONOFA—”

    The halfling slammed into a ground, leaving a small crater behind, and groaned in pain, blood oozing from a chest with ribs sticking out of it.

    “Ooo, I love a good punching bag!”

    “Yeah, well you’re not getting that one!”

    More arrows. The blond pun-spewing guy and the swordsman jumped up and started swatting at his feet while their cleric healed up the halfling. It was almost cute how the little adventurers actually thought that they could defeat him with only one weapon that worked against liches.

    A shock went through his bare spinal cord and he froze. Almost as instinct, the adventurers froze as well, wondering what was happening. He didn’t care about them. They couldn’t do anything.

    The shock had come from a little spell he had on the elf’s and paladin’s prisons.

    They had both escaped. Alive and well.

    Someone was going to pay.

    “Oh little Reddy, you and Uncle Xykon are going to have a little talk after he disembowels your so-called ‘sources of information.’”

    “What the hell are you—”

    “Cone of Cold.”

    The adventurers froze in little blocks of temporary magic ice.

    “I have someone to find.” Xykon immediately flew over the crowd, looking for the people he wanted. Redcloak had actually outright disobeyed him? Xykon didn’t think that that would ever happen after that stint with Right-Eye. Well, at least this way, he can finally get proper revenge for the phylactery incident. “Where are you, you little corksuckers?”

    There was a flash of violet among the battling crowds right next to the castle’s main entrance, followed by a general outcry among the hobgoblins as one man without armor impaled them with a spear that could have only been taken from one of their fallen comrades.

    “There you are.”

    He swooped down and wrapped cold phalanges around a warm throat, flying back up three stories and holding the creature he had found by the neck, tightening his grip hard.

    “Ugh!”

    The elf scrabbled at the bones around its neck feverishly, legs dangling in the air without use.

    “You little whore.”

    Xykon slammed the elf against the wall of the castle, probably hastening the oncoming unconsciousness. “You know, I never liked the idea of anyone using sex to get what they wanted.” Another slam. “It’s a cheap trick. Fun for villains to take advantage of, but it makes for very cowardly heroes.” Another slam. “I hate cowards.” Another. “I especially hate smug cowards.” Another. “I especially hate smug cowards who lose MY FRICKEN’ PHYLACTERY!”

    He tightened his grip on its throat, rammed his knee into its stomach, and ripped and tore at the elf’s pointed ear savagely, eliciting a strangled cry and a warm flow of blood. Its face was turning an interesting shade of blue.

    Xykon leaned forward so what was left of his mouth was right next to the elf’s bleeding ear, his voice an angry hiss. “I’m going to kill you in the most painful way possible. Then I’m going to revive you. You’ll come back or I’ll hunt down everyone you love and have them thrown to the frickin’ Snarl. I’ll do it to Reddy too—the damn fool is useless anyway with the way he’s been going about. I’m going to kill you and revive you and kill you and revive you until the end of time, and that’ll just be the start of it, you wretched whore.”

    “…”

    The elf’s eyes fluttered shut, esophagus thoroughly crushed under Xykon’s fingers.

    “Good night, elf.”

    “VAARSUVIUS!”

    A fireball crashed into Xykon’s back. He teetered in the air and swooped down, casting his gaze around to see who did it, before a familiar glowing green sword slashed at him, causing him to drop the elf in his hands.

    Xykon zipped up, spinning around and growling to himself to see the entire adventurer party plus a party of elves glaring up at him, the blond adventurer boy having caught the unconscious purple-haired spell caster and was now desperately trying to see if it was alive.

    They had magic and a glowing sword against undead.

    He didn’t know where his phylactery was.

    He roared in pure frustration. He’d have to withdraw from the battle or risk permanent death.

    “EVERYONE WHO LISTENS TO ME OR REDCLOAK: KILL EVERYONE! KILL EVERYONE OR I’LL KILL YOU!”

    ---

    Roy swore viciously as the hordes of hobgoblins jumped to attention at the shout of the lich, starting to crash on them like an ocean under the influence of a storm and an angry sea god. “Durkon, how’s your magic doing?”

    “Almost on empty, lad.”

    “How’s V?”

    Elan shrank back from the oncoming hobgoblins like a small child from a wildfire, hugging the unconscious elf tightly to his chest. Durkon quickly jumped up and prodded Vaarsuvius, checking its throat and tracing the black, bruised depression there with a worried flash in his eyes. “This is a nasty number tha’ Xykon did on Vaarsuvius. I dunno ‘ow serious it is without a better look. Coulda caused internal bleedin’ or mortal damage t’ th’ esophagus.” He leaned in a little, listening to the elf’s chest. “‘Artbeat’s a little erratic, but tha’ could jus’ be th’ adren’line. ‘E’s breathing, though. Tha’s a good sign.”

    Roy knocked aside two hobgoblins that had lunged for the medic and bard tending to the wounded. “Sink what magic you can into keeping V alive. I just got back—no need for another dead party member to spend three months trying to resurrect. Elan, V won’t survive this battle unconscious and fresh out of a dungeon and who-knows what else. Cast any illusions you think will help and get him out of here. We’ll meet you in the Resistance HQ and then leave the city to find the wizard Hinjo gave us and teleport back to the refugee settlement.”

    “Yes, Roy!”

    “And make sure V doesn’t die, Elan!”

    “He’ll be safe!” Elan smiled, cradling the elf’s body carefully and privately getting a little worried at its lightness while Durkon put in all the healing spells he could. “I promise.”

    ---

    The headquarters of the Resistance was milling with casualties of the battle. O-Chul was glad to be clothed again, and he never thought that he would enjoy sitting on a soft chair with some tea between his hands more.

    “I can’t believe you’re alive, O-Chul!”

    O-Chul looked up, smiling as the Order of the Stick (minus the elf, of course) sat across from him, their wounds from the battle healed and their cleric’s spells spent. He couldn’t help but pity them. They looked absolutely exhausted, and he strongly suspected that their bard was actually asleep with his eyes open.

    “The Twelve Gods spared my life so that I may assist in the fight against the lich.” O-Chul sipped his tea slowly. “It has not been easy, but I am confident that my experience will help our cause. Your friend, Vaarsuvius, was quite effective in helping us as well.”

    “What happened with V?” Roy sat forward, frowning. “He disappeared, talking about how he was going to face off with Xykon. We didn’t see him after that until Xykon was strangling him in the air. And he looks different now. Less scary.”

    O-Chul sipped his tea, privately wondering how much information about the elf he should impart. There was a line between what was useful to know and what was strictly personal, but when it came to war and adventuring, the lines seemed to overlap.

    He decided to give the elf a chance to tell her (or his? O-Chul wasn’t quite sure, though he’d never say such a rude thing aloud) companions about the soul splice and her possible relationship with the goblin leader herself.

    “Indeed. Your companion teleported into the lich’s throne room looking quite menacing. During the fight that ensued, the cause of the change seemed to be lost.” O-Chul sipped his tea again. “I managed to escape my prison while they fought and the elf managed to use a raven to drop the lich’s phylactery into the sewer. No one knows if it is still in the pipe it fell in or if it was swept into a labyrinth, a treatment plant, or the ocean.”

    He gave that a moment to sink in. The members of the Order all exchanged looks.

    “It has to be said: the androgynous twit managed to do something completely awesome there.” The halfling sat back further in his seat, petting the deceased Lord Shojo’s cat gently. “And if any of you tell it that I said that, I’m going to make sure you regret it.”

    “We’re sure you will, Belkar.”

    Haley ran a hand through her shortened hair, shaking it out a little. “But what about after that? How did either of you survive the aftermath of that little stunt? Somehow, I don’t think that Xykon was too happy.”

    “I am still rather confused by that myself.” O-Chul sipped his tea. “The lich was quite ready to kill us both. I had resigned myself to it, as had your companion. His goblin subordinate, oddly enough, saved us at the last minute for the sake of any information we may have possessed about the gates.” He glanced at the wall reflectively, looking through the people walking around them. “I believe that this is part of the reason that the lich forbade the goblin from regenerating an eye that he had lost in the fight. He is now half-blind, which will hopefully help us in the long run.”

    “Served him right.”

    O-Chul nodded sagely, taking another sip. “I fear that, after the battle, there is little I can say about your comrade. The goblin took Vaarsuvius away and we did not meet again until she came back to the throne room today with a dagger, a raven, and a set of keys. She told me that she had escaped her prison and it was time for us to leave. She seemed reluctant to talk about her time in captivity or the circumstances which she was able to flee, so I did not pry. Before we came to the battle, she gave me her dagger, told me that I knew more about weapons than her, and she ran through the fight in hopes of finding you. Unfortunately, the lich found her first.”

    He placed his tea in his lap, keeping his hands cupped around the warmth. “I can only pray that she will survive her current wounds and that she has not suffered too much during our imprisonment.”

    “V ‘as strange scars all o’er ‘is face an’ arms, though I ‘aven’t gotten a chance t’ check under ‘is robe t’ see if there ‘re any there. They’re well-healed an’ not easily seen, but a good ‘ealer c’n pick ‘em up. It looks like ‘e was mauled by somethin’ with nasty claws then found by a healer who patched ‘im up with a coupla good spells. Ye ‘ave any idea where ‘e got those?” Durkon shifted, obviously peeved by the idea that a party member had been hurt while he wasn’t around to heal them and, on top of that, that he didn’t know what had caused the hurt.

    “The goblin took a special interest in her,” O-Chul said carefully, reluctant to share too much information without getting the elf’s side of the story. “He took a special interest in both of us—he was the only one who saw us as possible sources instead of cheap entertainment. I would guess that he treated her violently during interrogation, though I am curious as to why he would heal her.” He shrugged. “She seemed very frail when I saw her last. The goblin said that he would need to heal her before any questioning or it would be possible that she would die if he wasn’t careful. Perhaps he was wary about allowing her to be with too many wounds over a long period of time.”

    “Vaarsuvius, frail? I would have paid to see that.” Belkar smirked and stroked Mr. Scruffy. “But clawing V’s face? The goblin’s earned something from me for that.”

    “He’s earned something from all of us, Belkar. Be sure to let us all have a piece,” Haley said, her smile tight.

    “That is most of what I know about your comrade. I have information that I must get to Lord Hinjo, however.”

    “Sure. We’ll bring you along when we leave for the new Azure City settlement. We need to wait for V to wake up, though.”

    Durkon stood up, brushing himself off. “‘E’ll wake up t’morrow at th’ latest. Vaarsuvius may not be a swordsman, but ‘e’s tough as nails an’ I doubt that ‘e’ll let anythin’ like near-deadly strangulation keep ‘im down fer long. Ev’n if’n it takes longer than t’day t’ wake up, I’ll ‘ave me spells back t’morrow an’ ‘e’ll be healed up in no time.”

    “Good.” O-Chul stood, finishing his tea. “She is a noble and brave warrior. I am grateful to have her on our side.”

    “You’re not the only one.” Roy smiled and stood. “V’ll be back on his feet before we know it. Right now, I think we all earned a good night’s sleep. We’ll talk about what to do about the phylactery in the morning.”

    Everyone nodded in agreement, save for the bard. He was obviously asleep already.

    ---

    “Vaarsuvius?”

    The elf smiled, easily slipping delicate arms around Redcloak’s neck and kissing him softly. Redcloak was more than happy to return the contact, wrapping his arms snuggly around a thin waist and kissing back tenderly. “So you ran?”

    “Of course I did.” Vaarsuvius pulled away, looking up and smiling, eyes glowing with the fire that wrapped itself so tightly in the goblin’s heart. “You did not expect me to go quietly, did you?”

    “Anyone who’s known you for longer than a minute knows you wouldn’t go without a fight, Vaarsuvius.” Redcloak cocked his head. “Is this a dream or a dying hallucination? I trust you to not kill me, but my trust has been misplaced before.”

    “I would know no better than you, Redcloak.” Vaarsuvius rested a light head on Redcloak’s shoulder. “I am not real. I’m a figment of your imagination. Your subconscious.”

    “I guess that I’ll just need to wait and see.”

    He tightened his grip a little around the elf’s waist, nuzzling a pointed ear in a way that he knew from experience would make his partner squirm. He smiled when his efforts were rewarded.

    “Redcloak! You know what that does to me!”

    Redcloak could feel his partner’s face flush darkly and Vaarsuvius started to twist, ears twitching hard and a warbling coming from deep in an elven throat. “Of course I do. Why else would I do it?”

    “Manipulative beast!” Vaarsuvius lightly hit the goblin’s scaled chest, but was betrayed by the soft laughter coming out of a warm mouth. “Need I remind you that I know what affects you as well?”

    “You wouldn’t be able to find my spots without probing for a while.”

    “On the contrary, I make it a habit of paying attention to my partner during copulation. I like to understand their subtleties.” Vaarsuvius ran a finger along Redcloak’s scales until it hit a line in his side where his scales met and didn’t completely cover the vulnerable skin beneath.

    Redcloak shuddered, letting out a soft purring growl, and twisted away from the touch. “Hey! Don’t mess around there if you don’t plan on finishing things off.”

    “I doubt we have time.” Vaarsuvius smiled and instead of continuing decided to wrap thin arms around the goblin’s neck. Indeed, darkness was starting to grow on the horizon of the indescribable dream-landscape. He was either about to wake up or about to die. “But there is something that I, as your subconscious, must share with you.”

    “Yeah?”

    Vaarsuvius glanced at the growing darkness. “Remember when I said that you did not love me?”

    Redcloak hesitated, reluctant and skittish about where this was going. “Yes.”

    “I was wrong.”

    The darkness overcame everything and Vaarsuvius disappeared from Redcloak’s grasp.


    Thoughts?

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  5. - Top - End - #1205
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Is that it? The end?

    That was really awesome.

  6. - Top - End - #1206
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Water-Smurf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Is that it? The end?
    Not the end, no. I like the pairing too much now. And there may be a sequel after I finish the last chapter.

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  7. - Top - End - #1207
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Looks like Belkar likes the "androgynous twit" more than expected, or am I seeing illusions?

    Well written.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  8. - Top - End - #1208
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Yay! *Sits and waits*

  9. - Top - End - #1209
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Not the end, no. I like the pairing too much now. And there may be a sequel after I finish the last chapter.
    Thank goodness for that. I like this pairing too much too.

    They're just so cute together.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  10. - Top - End - #1210
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Wonderful! :D Very satisfying. The Order standing up for V was cute to see. Especially Belkar. Heh, he takes issue with anyone who messes with his favourite androgynous twit's face.
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
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  11. - Top - End - #1211

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    TBH, I think anyone fanatical enough about OOTS to be reading and/or writing fanfiction will already have found about about the additional backstory from other sources.
    I try not to spoil it for myself.

    It's only half-worked so far though.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  12. - Top - End - #1212
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    You know, I really should be working on my other projects. >.> And my homework...

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    “Hey, is the elf a screamer? ‘Cuz that might explain some sounds I’ve been hearing from its prison.”

    “Will you just shut up?! I have no interest in thinking about V like that!” Roy growled and jumped up, wildly slicing upward to get the lich. At this point, Elan was holding his stomach while looking nauseous and Durkon was looking decidedly green. Belkar had outright quit trying to get Xykon and just slapped his hands over his ears, a weird combination of disgust, irritation, and something else unnamed plastered over his face. “Seriously! That’s really sick!”

    “Hey, it’s not my fault that your spell caster is a frickin’ whore who’ll sleep with whatever can keep it out of a torture chamber!”

    An arrow came flying and slammed right through his empty eye socket and he suddenly grew a halfling with daggers on his ankle.

    “…Ow. How the hell did you jump up here?!”

    Xykon casually pulled the arrow out of his skull and shook the leg with the stab-happy halfling on it. “Hey, get off. Only room for one on this ride.”

    More stabbing. Xykon mused that the halfling should probably invest in metal that could actually harm liches.

    “Alrighty, then. Meteor Swarm.”

    “SONOFA—”

    The halfling slammed into a ground, leaving a small crater behind, and groaned in pain, blood oozing from a chest with ribs sticking out of it.

    “Ooo, I love a good punching bag!”

    “Yeah, well you’re not getting that one!”

    More arrows. The blond pun-spewing guy and the swordsman jumped up and started swatting at his feet while their cleric healed up the halfling. It was almost cute how the little adventurers actually thought that they could defeat him with only one weapon that worked against liches.

    A shock went through his bare spinal cord and he froze. Almost as instinct, the adventurers froze as well, wondering what was happening. He didn’t care about them. They couldn’t do anything.

    The shock had come from a little spell he had on the elf’s and paladin’s prisons.

    They had both escaped. Alive and well.

    Someone was going to pay.

    “Oh little Reddy, you and Uncle Xykon are going to have a little talk after he disembowels your so-called ‘sources of information.’”

    “What the hell are you—”

    “Cone of Cold.”

    The adventurers froze in little blocks of temporary magic ice.

    “I have someone to find.” Xykon immediately flew over the crowd, looking for the people he wanted. Redcloak had actually outright disobeyed him? Xykon didn’t think that that would ever happen after that stint with Right-Eye. Well, at least this way, he can finally get proper revenge for the phylactery incident. “Where are you, you little corksuckers?”

    There was a flash of violet among the battling crowds right next to the castle’s main entrance, followed by a general outcry among the hobgoblins as one man without armor impaled them with a spear that could have only been taken from one of their fallen comrades.

    “There you are.”

    He swooped down and wrapped cold phalanges around a warm throat, flying back up three stories and holding the creature he had found by the neck, tightening his grip hard.

    “Ugh!”

    The elf scrabbled at the bones around its neck feverishly, legs dangling in the air without use.

    “You little whore.”

    Xykon slammed the elf against the wall of the castle, probably hastening the oncoming unconsciousness. “You know, I never liked the idea of anyone using sex to get what they wanted.” Another slam. “It’s a cheap trick. Fun for villains to take advantage of, but it makes for very cowardly heroes.” Another slam. “I hate cowards.” Another. “I especially hate smug cowards.” Another. “I especially hate smug cowards who lose MY FRICKEN’ PHYLACTERY!”

    He tightened his grip on its throat, rammed his knee into its stomach, and ripped and tore at the elf’s pointed ear savagely, eliciting a strangled cry and a warm flow of blood. Its face was turning an interesting shade of blue.

    Xykon leaned forward so what was left of his mouth was right next to the elf’s bleeding ear, his voice an angry hiss. “I’m going to kill you in the most painful way possible. Then I’m going to revive you. You’ll come back or I’ll hunt down everyone you love and have them thrown to the frickin’ Snarl. I’ll do it to Reddy too—the damn fool is useless anyway with the way he’s been going about. I’m going to kill you and revive you and kill you and revive you until the end of time, and that’ll just be the start of it, you wretched whore.”

    “…”

    The elf’s eyes fluttered shut, esophagus thoroughly crushed under Xykon’s fingers.

    “Good night, elf.”

    “VAARSUVIUS!”

    A fireball crashed into Xykon’s back. He teetered in the air and swooped down, casting his gaze around to see who did it, before a familiar glowing green sword slashed at him, causing him to drop the elf in his hands.

    Xykon zipped up, spinning around and growling to himself to see the entire adventurer party plus a party of elves glaring up at him, the blond adventurer boy having caught the unconscious purple-haired spell caster and was now desperately trying to see if it was alive.

    They had magic and a glowing sword against undead.

    He didn’t know where his phylactery was.

    He roared in pure frustration. He’d have to withdraw from the battle or risk permanent death.

    “EVERYONE WHO LISTENS TO ME OR REDCLOAK: KILL EVERYONE! KILL EVERYONE OR I’LL KILL YOU!”

    ---

    Roy swore viciously as the hordes of hobgoblins jumped to attention at the shout of the lich, starting to crash on them like an ocean under the influence of a storm and an angry sea god. “Durkon, how’s your magic doing?”

    “Almost on empty, lad.”

    “How’s V?”

    Elan shrank back from the oncoming hobgoblins like a small child from a wildfire, hugging the unconscious elf tightly to his chest. Durkon quickly jumped up and prodded Vaarsuvius, checking its throat and tracing the black, bruised depression there with a worried flash in his eyes. “This is a nasty number tha’ Xykon did on Vaarsuvius. I dunno ‘ow serious it is without a better look. Coulda caused internal bleedin’ or mortal damage t’ th’ esophagus.” He leaned in a little, listening to the elf’s chest. “‘Artbeat’s a little erratic, but tha’ could jus’ be th’ adren’line. ‘E’s breathing, though. Tha’s a good sign.”

    Roy knocked aside two hobgoblins that had lunged for the medic and bard tending to the wounded. “Sink what magic you can into keeping V alive. I just got back—no need for another dead party member to spend three months trying to resurrect. Elan, V won’t survive this battle unconscious and fresh out of a dungeon and who-knows what else. Cast any illusions you think will help and get him out of here. We’ll meet you in the Resistance HQ and then leave the city to find the wizard Hinjo gave us and teleport back to the refugee settlement.”

    “Yes, Roy!”

    “And make sure V doesn’t die, Elan!”

    “He’ll be safe!” Elan smiled, cradling the elf’s body carefully and privately getting a little worried at its lightness while Durkon put in all the healing spells he could. “I promise.”

    ---

    The headquarters of the Resistance was milling with casualties of the battle. O-Chul was glad to be clothed again, and he never thought that he would enjoy sitting on a soft chair with some tea between his hands more.

    “I can’t believe you’re alive, O-Chul!”

    O-Chul looked up, smiling as the Order of the Stick (minus the elf, of course) sat across from him, their wounds from the battle healed and their cleric’s spells spent. He couldn’t help but pity them. They looked absolutely exhausted, and he strongly suspected that their bard was actually asleep with his eyes open.

    “The Twelve Gods spared my life so that I may assist in the fight against the lich.” O-Chul sipped his tea slowly. “It has not been easy, but I am confident that my experience will help our cause. Your friend, Vaarsuvius, was quite effective in helping us as well.”

    “What happened with V?” Roy sat forward, frowning. “He disappeared, talking about how he was going to face off with Xykon. We didn’t see him after that until Xykon was strangling him in the air. And he looks different now. Less scary.”

    O-Chul sipped his tea, privately wondering how much information about the elf he should impart. There was a line between what was useful to know and what was strictly personal, but when it came to war and adventuring, the lines seemed to overlap.

    He decided to give the elf a chance to tell her (or his? O-Chul wasn’t quite sure, though he’d never say such a rude thing aloud) companions about the soul splice and her possible relationship with the goblin leader herself.

    “Indeed. Your companion teleported into the lich’s throne room looking quite menacing. During the fight that ensued, the cause of the change seemed to be lost.” O-Chul sipped his tea again. “I managed to escape my prison while they fought and the elf managed to use a raven to drop the lich’s phylactery into the sewer. No one knows if it is still in the pipe it fell in or if it was swept into a labyrinth, a treatment plant, or the ocean.”

    He gave that a moment to sink in. The members of the Order all exchanged looks.

    “It has to be said: the androgynous twit managed to do something completely awesome there.” The halfling sat back further in his seat, petting the deceased Lord Shojo’s cat gently. “And if any of you tell it that I said that, I’m going to make sure you regret it.”

    “We’re sure you will, Belkar.”

    Haley ran a hand through her shortened hair, shaking it out a little. “But what about after that? How did either of you survive the aftermath of that little stunt? Somehow, I don’t think that Xykon was too happy.”

    “I am still rather confused by that myself.” O-Chul sipped his tea. “The lich was quite ready to kill us both. I had resigned myself to it, as had your companion. His goblin subordinate, oddly enough, saved us at the last minute for the sake of any information we may have possessed about the gates.” He glanced at the wall reflectively, looking through the people walking around them. “I believe that this is part of the reason that the lich forbade the goblin from regenerating an eye that he had lost in the fight. He is now half-blind, which will hopefully help us in the long run.”

    “Served him right.”

    O-Chul nodded sagely, taking another sip. “I fear that, after the battle, there is little I can say about your comrade. The goblin took Vaarsuvius away and we did not meet again until she came back to the throne room today with a dagger, a raven, and a set of keys. She told me that she had escaped her prison and it was time for us to leave. She seemed reluctant to talk about her time in captivity or the circumstances which she was able to flee, so I did not pry. Before we came to the battle, she gave me her dagger, told me that I knew more about weapons than her, and she ran through the fight in hopes of finding you. Unfortunately, the lich found her first.”

    He placed his tea in his lap, keeping his hands cupped around the warmth. “I can only pray that she will survive her current wounds and that she has not suffered too much during our imprisonment.”

    “V ‘as strange scars all o’er ‘is face an’ arms, though I ‘aven’t gotten a chance t’ check under ‘is robe t’ see if there ‘re any there. They’re well-healed an’ not easily seen, but a good ‘ealer c’n pick ‘em up. It looks like ‘e was mauled by somethin’ with nasty claws then found by a healer who patched ‘im up with a coupla good spells. Ye ‘ave any idea where ‘e got those?” Durkon shifted, obviously peeved by the idea that a party member had been hurt while he wasn’t around to heal them and, on top of that, that he didn’t know what had caused the hurt.

    “The goblin took a special interest in her,” O-Chul said carefully, reluctant to share too much information without getting the elf’s side of the story. “He took a special interest in both of us—he was the only one who saw us as possible sources instead of cheap entertainment. I would guess that he treated her violently during interrogation, though I am curious as to why he would heal her.” He shrugged. “She seemed very frail when I saw her last. The goblin said that he would need to heal her before any questioning or it would be possible that she would die if he wasn’t careful. Perhaps he was wary about allowing her to be with too many wounds over a long period of time.”

    “Vaarsuvius, frail? I would have paid to see that.” Belkar smirked and stroked Mr. Scruffy. “But clawing V’s face? The goblin’s earned something from me for that.”

    “He’s earned something from all of us, Belkar. Be sure to let us all have a piece,” Haley said, her smile tight.

    “That is most of what I know about your comrade. I have information that I must get to Lord Hinjo, however.”

    “Sure. We’ll bring you along when we leave for the new Azure City settlement. We need to wait for V to wake up, though.”

    Durkon stood up, brushing himself off. “‘E’ll wake up t’morrow at th’ latest. Vaarsuvius may not be a swordsman, but ‘e’s tough as nails an’ I doubt that ‘e’ll let anythin’ like near-deadly strangulation keep ‘im down fer long. Ev’n if’n it takes longer than t’day t’ wake up, I’ll ‘ave me spells back t’morrow an’ ‘e’ll be healed up in no time.”

    “Good.” O-Chul stood, finishing his tea. “She is a noble and brave warrior. I am grateful to have her on our side.”

    “You’re not the only one.” Roy smiled and stood. “V’ll be back on his feet before we know it. Right now, I think we all earned a good night’s sleep. We’ll talk about what to do about the phylactery in the morning.”

    Everyone nodded in agreement, save for the bard. He was obviously asleep already.

    ---

    “Vaarsuvius?”

    The elf smiled, easily slipping delicate arms around Redcloak’s neck and kissing him softly. Redcloak was more than happy to return the contact, wrapping his arms snuggly around a thin waist and kissing back tenderly. “So you ran?”

    “Of course I did.” Vaarsuvius pulled away, looking up and smiling, eyes glowing with the fire that wrapped itself so tightly in the goblin’s heart. “You did not expect me to go quietly, did you?”

    “Anyone who’s known you for longer than a minute knows you wouldn’t go without a fight, Vaarsuvius.” Redcloak cocked his head. “Is this a dream or a dying hallucination? I trust you to not kill me, but my trust has been misplaced before.”

    “I would know no better than you, Redcloak.” Vaarsuvius rested a light head on Redcloak’s shoulder. “I am not real. I’m a figment of your imagination. Your subconscious.”

    “I guess that I’ll just need to wait and see.”

    He tightened his grip a little around the elf’s waist, nuzzling a pointed ear in a way that he knew from experience would make his partner squirm. He smiled when his efforts were rewarded.

    “Redcloak! You know what that does to me!”

    Redcloak could feel his partner’s face flush darkly and Vaarsuvius started to twist, ears twitching hard and a warbling coming from deep in an elven throat. “Of course I do. Why else would I do it?”

    “Manipulative beast!” Vaarsuvius lightly hit the goblin’s scaled chest, but was betrayed by the soft laughter coming out of a warm mouth. “Need I remind you that I know what affects you as well?”

    “You wouldn’t be able to find my spots without probing for a while.”

    “On the contrary, I make it a habit of paying attention to my partner during copulation. I like to understand their subtleties.” Vaarsuvius ran a finger along Redcloak’s scales until it hit a line in his side where his scales met and didn’t completely cover the vulnerable skin beneath.

    Redcloak shuddered, letting out a soft purring growl, and twisted away from the touch. “Hey! Don’t mess around there if you don’t plan on finishing things off.”

    “I doubt we have time.” Vaarsuvius smiled and instead of continuing decided to wrap thin arms around the goblin’s neck. Indeed, darkness was starting to grow on the horizon of the indescribable dream-landscape. He was either about to wake up or about to die. “But there is something that I, as your subconscious, must share with you.”

    “Yeah?”

    Vaarsuvius glanced at the growing darkness. “Remember when I said that you did not love me?”

    Redcloak hesitated, reluctant and skittish about where this was going. “Yes.”

    “I was wrong.”

    The darkness overcame everything and Vaarsuvius disappeared from Redcloak’s grasp.


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  13. - Top - End - #1213

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Holy hell, Water-Smurf... you've made me cry!

    That hasn't happened since... well, since I finished KH: 358/2 Days a few days ago, but still; it takes something truly touching to make me cry.

    Also, since he was drinking tea, O-Chul speaks with a British accent in my mind now... even though it hardly makes any sense.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-10-18 at 04:31 PM.
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  14. - Top - End - #1214
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Zz'Drti/Nale (Snowed in) This crack pairing is brought to you by Procrastination!

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    The snow was feet deep and accumulating by the minute. Freezing temperatures and howling winds only served to make things worse. Two figures, a human and a drow, trudged through the snow, obviously lost.

    "...I believe we have made a wrong turn."

    "Yeah, and I've got a goatee. OF COURSE WE MADE A WRONG TURN!" Nale paced back and forth, screaming his predicament. "Because of you, we're now stuck in this frozen blizzard wasteland! Thog's still with Sabine, and they can just Plane Shift if things get really bad; gods know we've done it before. But of course we got separated because of you, and of course we're stuck here, and of course you didn't have the foresight to prepare any potentially useful spells!!!" Nale ended his rant by shouting in Zz'drti's face, repeatedly jabbing the drow's chest for emphasis.

    Zz'Drti's eyes narrowed. He'd gotten used to enduring these monologues and rants, but no way was the human going to suggest that he was shortsighted! He shook his head. On contraire, Nale. I have just the spell prepared. "Secure Shelter."

    Almost instantly, a small cottage appeared in front of them. Zz'Drti smirked at Nale, walked inside, and lit a fire in the fireplace. Nale followed him, actually dumbfounded. "...I stand corrected. Zz'Drti, how long will this spell last?"

    "The rest of the night."

    "Then we should get some rest. Cast a Sending to Sabine first thing in the morning..." Nale smiled at the drow, having gained some new respect for him.

    Later that night, the fire went out. The sudden drop in temperature woke both of them up. Shivering, both Nale and Zz'Drti searched for some more firewood (Zz'Drti had not yet replenished all his spells), but to no avail.

    Nale looked at Zz'Drti and sighed. "I think the best way to keep warm would be to huddle together."

    "...I do not think I like where this is going."

    "Neither do I. But it's either that or turn into icicles."

    "...Good point."

    The two of them huddled together on the mattress, sharing each other's clothes for warmth. Unfortunately, the two of them were very...Lonely men.

    One thing led to another, and within two hours Nale and Zz'Drti were going at it on that worn-out, thread-bare mattress; Zz'Drti gripping the sheets, wondering how something that hurt so much could feel so good.

    Of course, because the rules dictate it, Sabine and Thog chose this exact moment to burst in through the front door.

    "Nale! Zz'Drti! There you are, I thought you we--"

    "...Why Nale and Zz'Drti hugging like that? Without clothes?"

    Nale and Zz'Drti broke into a cold sweat, an appropriate look of 'Oh crap' plastered on their faces. "Uh...I can explain?"

    "..."

    Sabine glared at them. "Come on, you promised me that we'd do the threesome together!"

    Nale breathed a sigh of relief. "I was...Just getting things started. Hop right in!"

    "..."

    Sabine's clothes were already flung behind her, landing in Thog's face. "Don't mind if I do!"

    "Thog scared!"
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-10-18 at 07:42 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #1215
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Giggle! Sabine wanting to sleep with Zz'dtri (and Nale at the same time) really made me laugh. It's so in character.

    Because I forgot to review those before Water-Smurf:

    @ CoffeeIncluded: I liked this line best:
    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    when Matt Silver proved that he had had a threesome with two elf sisters, he was instantly dubbed "The Luckiest Bastard On The Face Of The Planet".
    @ CheeseMuncher: I liked the description of Tsukiko's "shirt" ("just this side of decency" for example). And Xykon telling Tsukiko Redcloak and Jirix are an item.

    @ waterpenguin43: does Xykon even pay Redcloak?
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-10-19 at 10:52 AM.
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  16. - Top - End - #1216
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Looks like Belkar likes the "androgynous twit" more than expected, or am I seeing illusions?
    I have a soft spot for gruff affection in general, so I tend to write Belkar as reluctantly liking his teammates. (Despite the fact Rich specifically went out of his way to not provide the Belkster a back story, I assign one.) He couldn't have had a very well-functioning family, so the weird quirks of the Order may remind him a little of the softer, less murderous side of home.

    Trying to avoid another long-winded lecture on character, I'll just say 'you're not seeing illusions.'

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Holy hell, Water-Smurf... you've made me cry!

    That hasn't happened since... well, since I finished KH: 358/2 Days a few days ago, but still; it takes something truly touching to make me cry.
    Awww... now you're making me feel all fuzzy...

    Which part is the one making you cry? I didn't know I could do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Also, since he was drinking tea, O-Chul speaks with a British accent in my mind now... even though it hardly makes any sense.
    I giggled.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Wonderful! :D Very satisfying. The Order standing up for V was cute to see. Especially Belkar. Heh, he takes issue with anyone who messes with his favourite androgynous twit's face.
    That was enjoyable for me to write. I'm not sure how in-character it was, but they haven't seen V in a while and I figured that that offered a little flexibility with how much concern they would be willing to show without coughing in embarrassment and trying to put up a tough front.

    Thanks for you're kindness, guys. It makes it all worth it to know that people enjoy reading what I write. (And I thought that I sucked at romance, so this is a nice boost...)

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  17. - Top - End - #1217

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Awww... now you're making me feel all fuzzy...

    Which part is the one making you cry? I didn't know I could do that.
    The part at the end.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

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  18. - Top - End - #1218
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    *Evil Chuckle*

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    "Yay!" Giggled Sabrine "Another Crack-Pairing with me in it! Thats two in one Day!"

    Just then, Sabrine came to the huge steel door that leads into the Crack-Pairing Room. On it there was a huge 1 written in gold.

    "Well, lets just see who's my partner this time. Hello!"
    "...it could be worse..." Said Elan


    Meanwhile in Crack-Pairing Room No. 13

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    "Why me!!!!" Roy Cried
    "RABBIT"S STAMINA!!!!!" Shouted untold millions of Vaarsuviuses as they jumped upon him.
    "Think he'll ever get out of there?" Said one of the Crack-Guards
    "Nope!" Said another evily "Permenent Wizard Seal!!!"
    Last edited by ClericOfBelker; 2009-10-19 at 01:44 PM.
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  19. - Top - End - #1219
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    You know, Water-Smurf, it just occurred to me rather belatedly that Vaarsuvius should actually still have had a few spells left after all that time. After all, he didn't use all of them up in the fight against Xykon, he just simply lost, and trying to use them afterwards would have gained him nothing. Maybe it would have been a tiny bit more satisfying and awesome to see V unleash what little arcane power he still has remaining when breaking out with O-Chul and facing Xykon again. After all, Roy is right, V WOULDN'T go out without a bang. :D
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  20. - Top - End - #1220
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    You know, Water-Smurf, it just occurred to me rather belatedly that Vaarsuvius should actually still have had a few spells left after all that time. After all, he didn't use all of them up in the fight against Xykon, he just simply lost, and trying to use them afterwards would have gained him nothing. Maybe it would have been a tiny bit more satisfying and awesome to see V unleash what little arcane power he still has remaining when breaking out with O-Chul and facing Xykon again. After all, Roy is right, V WOULDN'T go out without a bang. :D
    Do spells carry overnight? And I figure that V would have already used a bunch of spells trying to overcome Reddy's wards if s/he still was able to do it.

    On a different note, I'm probably going to have to reveal V's gender eventually. Or at least throw some weird note in there about hir subspecies' biology/genders.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  21. - Top - End - #1221
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    You mean, like "Oh, by the way esteemed companions (except Belkar), I am pregnant."?

    Which reminds me, should I make Vaarsuvius get Miko pregnant in my undead story?
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-10-19 at 04:02 PM.
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  22. - Top - End - #1222
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Maybe not like that, but did you seriously think that something like this could go over one multi-chaptered story without me caving into the temptation?

    Maybe not necessarily pregnancy, but something. Probably pregnancy, though.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  23. - Top - End - #1223
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Do spells carry overnight? And I figure that V would have already used a bunch of spells trying to overcome Reddy's wards if s/he still was able to do it.

    On a different note, I'm probably going to have to reveal V's gender eventually. Or at least throw some weird note in there about hir subspecies' biology/genders.
    Eh, most of us (or maybe it's just me ) are used to reading about V portrayed as either gender, so it wouldn't seem weird whichever it was revealed as.

    And I'd prefer V to be identified as either male or female rather than it to be some weird hermaphrodite thing. That just always seems like it's taking the joke too far.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Maybe not necessarily pregnancy, but something. Probably pregnancy, though.
    I'm now trying to imagine a half-elf half-goblin. The resulting mental image is adorable and amusing.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-10-19 at 04:58 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #1224
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    And I'd prefer V to be identified as either male or female rather than it to be some weird hermaphrodite thing. That just always seems like taking joke too far.
    But hermaphrodites are so fun to write with! Not that I would know...

    I can't help but be a little conflicted. I always think of Vaarsuvius as mentally a guy. But when I imagine hir without clothes on, I imagine a girl. It's confusing. (Hey, that'd actually explain a fair number of things...)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I'm now trying to imagine a half-elf half-goblin. The resulting mental image is adorable and amusing.
    I've been thinking about that myself. I mean, how would that look? Adorable for sure (baby! *cue total brain shutdown*), but what about the aesthetics?
    Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2009-10-19 at 04:09 PM.

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    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  25. - Top - End - #1225
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    I can't help but be a little conflicted. I always think of Vaarsuvius as mentally a guy. But when I imagine hir without clothes on, I imagine a girl. It's confusing. (Hey, that'd actually explain a fair number of things...)
    Vaarsuvius is probably rather confused by now, too.

    But I know what you mean; that's pretty much what I think too. I figure V is physically female, but mentally mostly male.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-10-19 at 04:22 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Well, if it helps any, I've always seen Kyrie as a guy. Considering that their kids are adopted, that either means that:

    A. V is female and they adopted because they preferred adoption/one or both have fertility problems, or...

    B. V is male, Elfland is much more socially progressive than modern human society when it comes to gay rights, and their children are adopted because, despite what the crazed yaoi fangirls may think, men cannot get pregnant.

  27. - Top - End - #1227
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    What I'm looking forward is Inkyrius' reaction. I don't recall Vaarsuvius thinking about him at any time in the story. And if Water-Smurf's other fanfictions, starring Belkar x Vaarsuvius, happened before this story, we could have a very angry baker...

    Sure, he's like a level one expert so I doubt he could do much, but that promises some drama ("<You never let ME impregnate you!>").

    And I've got a feeling the idea of a half-elf half-goblin baby may tickle some artists' muses...
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-10-19 at 04:19 PM.
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  28. - Top - End - #1228
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    That would be...Interesting.

    However, I kinda find it unlikely that V would accidentally get pregnant, even if V is female. Why? V's an elf. And what do we know about elves? They're an extremely long-lived race known for their beauty...With an obscenely long childhood. Something tells me elves invented birth control before they invented fire.
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-10-19 at 04:14 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #1229
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Indeed. An obscenely long childhood means an obsenely long adolescence. Which means millions more moments for a clumsy, accidental pregnancy.

    Who knows, maybe Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius are a product of Lirian's or Aarindarius's teenaged years?
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  30. - Top - End - #1230
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    That would be...Interesting.

    However, I kinda find it unlikely that V would accidentally get pregnant, even if V is female. Why? V's an elf. And what do we know about elves? They're an extremely long-lived race known for their beauty...With an obscenely long childhood. Something tells me elves invented birth control before they invented fire.
    Maybe there are unanticipated problems in that regard when it comes to cross-species relationships?

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Who knows, maybe Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius are a product of Lirian's or Aarindarius's teenaged years?
    ...Eww.

    For more than one reason.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-10-19 at 04:21 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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