New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 4 of 50 FirstFirst 123456789101112131429 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 120 of 1474
  1. - Top - End - #91
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Yep.

    And, just incase I didn't mention this before, I'm ignoring the whole 'Belkar dying before the end of the year' thing. It wouldn't work with my story's timeline (I don't care what I do; V and Reddy wouldn't be sleeping together within four weeks of meeting).

    And I think I'm seriously starting to toe the 'is this going by the rules or not' line. I figure that if House of Horrors has gotten away with half the things it has, then this isn't so bad. But just a warning. There's some stuff in here that people might not want to read.

    Happy Halloween! :D

    Spoiler
    Show
    The blood was gone. The children were gone. The dragon/Inkyrius was gone. The gargoyles were gone. Nothing was left.

    Except for a person who Vaarsuvius wasn’t sure was real or not.

    The tunnel swayed. The only things holding the elf upright were two firm scaled hands on lightly trembling shoulders. Vaarsuvius noticed that there was new pain in a pale cheek and delicate arms, coupled with the feeling of warm liquid dripping down. Redcloak, or at least a shape shifter who was good at imitation, was kneeling on the ground, eyes staying trained on the elf’s face.

    Vaarsuvius wanted to look away, a persistent feeling of shame starting to pull hard within. Whether this was a shape shifter, a hallucination, or Redcloak himself, the elf had been caught in something deeply personal and undignified. No one should ever see the effects of the mage’s nightmares and visions. No one should ever hear the screams. No one should ever witness that disgraceful weakness. It was too private.

    Redcloak’s hands left the elf’s shoulders. The goblin’s face was expressionless as he gently fingered the cuts in Vaarsuvius’s face. “Cure Minor Wounds.”

    The elf looked down, the slashes on pale arms and face sewing themselves up until all that was left were all but invisible scars.

    A shape shifter wouldn’t know cleric spells unless it was an actual cleric. A cleric shape shifter in the depths of Girard’s dungeon would have no reason to heal Vaarsuvius.

    Redcloak looked like he would say something. Vaarsuvius hated conflicting feelings, and they were coming in waves. On one hand, there was pure joy at being with the goblin again, especially without anyone around forcing them to attack each other. On the other, there was fear of being alone with him and what emotions that would bring up. There was the embarrassment of being caught in disgrace. There was relief that it was Redcloak who had done it—he had seen worse. There was warmth in the elf’s chest and stomach at being with the cleric again. There was hatred of those feelings, because even if it was only on a subconscious level, the mage knew what they were and what they meant. Along with all that—and a vicious twinge from the elf’s abdomen served as a chilling reminder—Vaarsuvius knew that this goblin had unknowingly fathered the child now growing within the mage.

    Oh dear elven gods. Vaarsuvius was carrying Redcloak’s child. And he didn’t know.

    Damnation.

    This realization—something that Vaarsuvius should have already come to terms with—knocked the very breath from the elf’s lungs.

    Redcloak stood up wordlessly, oblivious to what was going through Vaarsuvius’s head, and turned to leave.

    The elf knew that the goblin should go. It was dangerous for them to talk, to even touch, when there was no one else’s presence to keep them in check. The feelings between them were too convoluted and ran too deep—dangerous territory.

    Blood started dripping down the walls and Vaarsuvius shook, trying to blink away the illusion but failing. “Redcloak…”

    The goblin glanced back, frowning, hiding a flash of worry in his eyes. Vaarsuvius never sounded so pathetic. Never.

    The elf seemed to catch on to the distinctly weak note to the voice and scowled at the floor, clenching small fists and trying to keep violet eyes away from the blood. Red started pooling on the floor, whispers coming from the very walls themselves. “You were a fool to save me.”

    Redcloak stayed expressionless, watching the elf with a face that would seem clinical and dispassionate to anyone else. If someone other than the mage’s loved ones had heard the harsh remark, Vaarsuvius would sound hard and angry. Redcloak knew better than that. He knew too much about the elf’s pride and defense mechanisms.

    He walked back against both their better judgment, kneeling before his partner and tentatively putting his hands on small shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he was permitted to touch Vaarsuvius anymore, but judging by the elf’s subtle lean into his hands, he was more than welcome. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

    The blood melted away and the whispers faded as soon as their skin met. Vaarsuvius resisted the urge to throw delicate arms around the goblin’s neck and kiss him until time itself ended. They couldn’t fall back into their old pattern. It was too dangerous. “The feeling is mutual.”

    Pain tore through the elf’s abdomen angrily, clawing for attention, giving Vaarsuvius a ruthless reminder that there was something within that demanded what the elf could not give—a body structure capable of handling what was being asked of it and proper rest and sustenance. As revenge, it dealt the elf a brutal token of one thing that could not be explained away, could not be ignored, that would bind the cleric and mage together until it ceased to exist.

    Vaarsuvius, to the elf’s credit, only winced slightly, stifling a cry and tightening thin lips a little. It was enough for Redcloak’s notice, though.

    “Are you still hurt?” He frowned, tightening his grip lightly on the elf’s shoulder. “Cure Light Wounds.”

    Pain receded for the moment, but Vaarsuvius knew well enough that it would come back if the elf continued without enough food, trance, and medical attention. People weren’t supposed to have this much cramping at the beginning of pregnancy. The backaches and the headache were normal, but the cramping was worrisome.

    “…Thank you. You are still a fool.”

    “Well, at least I know you’re not an illusion.” The slightest smile played over Redcloak’s lips. “Only Vaarsuvius could be healed and then insult the one who did it.”

    “And only Redcloak could be insulted for his mistakes and then repeat them mere moments later.”

    Redcloak’s hand twitched, an incomplete motion towards the elf’s face. “Vaarsuvius, I…” He stopped himself. “Never mind. You look like you haven’t tranced in a while.”

    Vaarsuvius shrugged vaguely. “I tranced last night.” In fact, the elf was a little suspicious of the circumstances of that, but considering that there had been no nightmares, Vaarsuvius was willing to overlook the possibility of deceit on the Order’s part.

    “One night doesn’t do much versus several nights prior.” Redcloak frowned at the phosphorescent walls around them. “It was nighttime when I got in here.”

    “It was the afternoon when I did, and I am rather certain you came first.”

    Redcloak nodded thoughtfully. “Then, if my sense of time is worth anything here, it’s night again. We should probably stay together for now—Dark One knows how this place will mess with our dreams.”

    Vaarsuvius recognized the favor Redcloak was doing. He was offering a good night’s rest just as he did in the Azure City castle, and in the process, he was sparing the elf hurt pride by only mentioning how they would equally benefit from it.

    The elf’s only response to this imprudent generosity was blinked thanks. “Either of us could easily kill the other in their sleep.”

    “True.” Redcloak leaned on the wall comfortably, cocking his head. “But neither of us will.” The same way neither of us did last time.

    Vaarsuvius hesitated, then slowly nodded, strands of purple hair falling out of the ponytail. “Very well.”

    On unspoken agreement, they both sidled up together, intertwining until both had their arms around the other, one providing heat and the other providing comfort. Redcloak noted worriedly that the elf was still shaking from the vision. Vaarsuvius noted gratefully that the goblin still hadn’t asked about it. By the same unspoken agreement, their hands stayed in completely respectful and pure areas. They were willing to extend some form of the emotional and physical intimacy they had shared in Azure City, but they knew better than to engage in anything more than the limited amount they had already permitted. They knew better than to engage in any at all, but both were feeling too weak to resist for different reasons.

    Vaarsuvius’s shaking tapered off and violet eyes glazed over in a trance. There weren’t any nightmares for either of them.

    ---

    Durkon didn’t understand the mechanics of magic and illusion too well. He had only been interested in his god as a child, a teenager, and as an adult. He had never intended to become a mage, so he didn’t see why he should try to learn anything about magic. But he knew what an illusion was and he knew that he was seeing one.

    That fact didn’t make his blood freeze any less.

    “Get off of me! How dare you?!”

    The sound of Vaarsuvius’s voice was piercingly clear, even though it was impossible that the elf was there. Durkon’s grip on his hammer tightened and he leaned against the wall, trying to calm himself down, and his eyes were fixed on the opposite wall just in front of a bend in the tunnel, shadows as clear as if they belongs to people just out of sight in the tunnel moving against the surface. One shadow was of a familiar, straight, impossibly slender body clothed in robes. The other was of some greater monster warped by Durkon’s own perceptions, only identifiable from the wicked claws on its long fingers, currently wrapped around the more slender shadow’s arms.

    The owner of the slender shadow twisted and continued to shout, trying to rip out of the monster’s grasp. “Unhand me immediately!”

    The monster said something in guttural goblin tongue, the shadows being forced closer and closer together. There was the sound of ripping clothes. “Get off of me. Get off of me. GET OFF OF ME!

    Durkon steeled himself. The shadows were of nothing. The sounds were just illusions. When he walked around the bend, it would be over. Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt again. Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt again. Vaarsuvius would never be hurt again as long as the Order existed.

    The demands morphed into horrible screams and the shadows meshed together. Durkon couldn’t go forward. If the dungeon had the power to make shadows and sounds, it had the power to make images of people. He wouldn’t be able to handle an outright sight.

    He went on his knees and prayed to Thor for strength, shaking, trying to block out the sounds. He wouldn’t be able to even walk to this illusion, let alone face it. He knew it wasn’t real. He knew that Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt. It was still too much. This hellish dungeon preyed on the fears of the adventurers who traveled within it. None of its visions were real. He just needed to remember that.

    Durkon didn’t know how long it took for the screams to recede, turning into soft whimpers, and for the shadows fade from the walls. The nightmare was over. The cleric could continue on his way, hopefully without anymore visions having to do with his worries about Vaarsuvius. He didn’t know if he could handle going through it again.

    He ignored the slight tremor his hands had developed and stood, taking pains to not notice the residual whimpers that were probably just echoes from the finished illusion. He was slow in walking around the bend.

    He quickly realized that he should have been slower.

    Vaarsuvius shook violently, sprawled prone on the ground, knees pulled up a little so they protected the abdominal area, purple hair loose and wild, robes ripped up and stained with blood. Even if Durkon hadn’t heard it, he would have known what had just happened.

    The elf let out a pathetically feeble whimper, shaking and propping up on trembling arms. Scratches ripped down them, blood squeezing out, and veins popped out of the flesh in an unhealthy way. Vaarsuvius glanced up, eyes widening at the sight of the dwarf. “Durkon?” The mage started shaking harder. “How long have you been there?”

    Durkon couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. “Vaarsuvius?”

    “You sat back and let him do those things?!” The violet eyes, already somewhat off from what Durkon was used to, drained to black and the surprisingly feminine voice became double-toned and guttural. “You call yourself a healer?! You call yourself my friend?! You allow me to spiral to my own doom through self-starvation and exhaustion, get captured by that monster, allow me to begin self-destructing again, and then you simply sit back and let the monster hurt me again?!

    Durkon knew that it was an illusion.

    He also knew that it was telling the truth.

    Seeing the affirmation in the dwarf’s eyes, the creature that looked like Vaarsuvius roared, face turning black with a giant mouth lined with sharp teeth, and its head snapped forward, giant mouth opening to swallow the dwarf whole.

    Then it was gone. Just like that. And there was nothing in the tunnel to imply that there had been anything there at all.

    Durkon didn’t start moving forward again until after a long while.

    ---

    “I know that you and I do not see eye-to-eye in most matters, especially concerning Vaarsuvius, but I think that she is your child and should be treated as such. It is your privilege to raise her. This is different. Why did you not tell her about this beforehand?”

    Vaarsuvius knew that everyone expected the child to be up in bed and asleep, but the apprentice couldn’t leave. The child huddled near the entrance of the living room, ears twitching as she eavesdropped.

    “‘Darius, I think you’re overreacting. She’s finding things out the natural way.”

    “We are past the dark ages! She thought she was dying. She was crying, Aula! In all my years of teaching her, I have never once seen her cry. She was that terrified.”

    Vaarsuvius blushed and curled into a ball of shame.

    “I will never doubt that you love her, but you are doing damage by this refusal to tell her about these things.”

    “Oh, she has been handling the changes in her body fine. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

    “Well, you explained about the different ways she would develop.”

    “No, we didn’t.”

    “What?!”

    The firelight flickered, almost going out before flaring then settling. A sign that Aarindarius was extremely upset, so much that his magic was affecting the world around him without his urging.

    Vaarsuvius started angling so the people within the living room could be seen.

    Parent and Other Parent were sitting on the couch nonchalantly, Other Parent lying down with his head in Parent’s lap. Aarindarius was pacing in front of the fire, biting his knuckle with his eyes closed. Vaarsuvius had only seen him do that once before when he had found out that a friend of his had become evil because of his lust for power. It was what Aarindarius did to calm down.

    “No wonder she has been so angry. You have left her nothing but confusion to work with.” Aarindarius spun around to face them, more agitated than Vaarsuvius had ever seen him. “You are willing to copulate in front of her and yet you won’t even warn her that she will begin menstruating?!”

    “Well, making love is perfectly natural.” Other Parent smiled up at the wizard, and expression completely at odds with Aarindarius’s. “She’ll find that out too.”

    You haven’t even explained that?!

    Aarindarius bit his knuckle and closed his eyes again, face turning an odd shade of red. “She is at the age where children get curious. You need to inform her about the feelings she will get and the things that she will want to do before she makes a horrible mistake.”

    “She doesn’t need to know. She’ll instinctively know when the time’s right.”

    “She will be taken
    advantage of, Tiberius!” Aarindarius tore his knuckle from his teeth, barely noticing as he scratched up the skin and throwing his hands in the air. “Did you learn nothing from the story of the cleric’s daughter in Corellon Larethian’s temple? She was used by the budding sociopaths among our teenage children because of her lack of knowledge! Vaarsuvius will start going into the town more, if not because she wants to but because she has to at this age. She is becoming beautiful. She will be noticed by the other teenagers. She won’t know what they are doing to her!”

    The fire flared dangerously again before Aarindarius caught himself. Vaarsuvius shook, curling tighter in a protective ball. The child had never seen the wizard this upset. Was she in danger? What were they talking about?

    “I know you love her. I love her as well. I do not want her to be hurt, especially in such a vile manner.”

    “And she won’t be.” Parent shifted, frowning at Aarindarius. “‘Darius, you’re getting worked up over nothing. The young elves here are good people. Suvie will attract them like honey, but they won’t hurt her.”

    “You are as naïve as you are loving, Aula. Individuals can be trusted, but you do not know all the teenagers of Ivyleaf. There are always depraved among the pure.” Aarindarius crossed his arms. “I love Vaarsuvius. It pains me to see her afraid and upset. She has been in a perpetual state of that since her puberty began.”

    “Now, ‘Darius, I think you’re exaggerating…”

    “I am not. She needs something to hold on to. She needs to know what her body is doing to her before she decides that it is something to hate. Don’t you see what you are doing to her?”

    “‘Darius, if you want to teach her about love and the body, we won’t stop you. We just don’t feel that it needs to be said.”

    “My friends, you are fools. If you won’t teach her, then I shall. I cannot stand to see her so afraid, and I
    will not stand to see her exploited because of her ignorance. As long as I live, she will have no reason to cry to me again.”

    The fire flickered again, the smell of thyme and rosewood, magic, strong in the air.

    Vaarsuvius stood and quietly padded to bed.
    As always, Water-Smurf, your writing is excellent.

    Also, V's parents are rather ridiculous, I think. While I applaud not hiding things from children that many would--I've never been one to believe that children are "innocent"--not explaining things and giving clear answers is idiotic at best and criminally negligent at worst.

  2. - Top - End - #92
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Has anyone else noticed that the Mods still haven't locked the old thread?

    Also, I was attacked by a rabid art bunny, so this is another picture of Redcloak and V's kid, 'cuz I'm that cool. The cools are weird, I should fix that.

    Spoiler
    Show


    Last edited by Meg; 2009-10-31 at 02:29 PM.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  3. - Top - End - #93
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Scotland
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Has anyone else noticed that the Mods still haven't locked the old thread?

    Also, I was attacked by a rabid art bunny, so this is another picture of Redcloak and V's kid, 'cuz I'm that cool. The cools are weird, I should fix that.

    Spoiler
    Show


    Squeee! Cool picture!
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Banned
     
    Skeppio's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post


    Only if you want an answer.

    The main reasons are manyfold. I have at one point tried to play a game as DM with a little brother, resulting in him playing much like Belkar and stagnating the game, making it no fun for anyone. No one likes playing with someone who tries to make it all about him, and I find his desperate cries for attention annoying rather then endearing.

    Second, I don't find him funny. At all.

    Third, he is frankly one dimensional. There is no interesting characterization, no complexity, nothing. 'I stab things' is the extent of his characterization.

    Fourth, I don't like the idea of a morally dodgy sidekick who acts evil so the hero doesn't have to get his hands dirty. Especially one like Belkar.

    Fifth, he annoys me, in that he rolls a twenty every time, and everyone has to roll ones. Everything always goes his way.

    Sixth, I feel he has stagnated the plot, and thanks to him the party can't continue to work to overcome their differences.

    Seventh, despite being evil, he's not very good at it. He's a two-but thug, he has no dreams or goals of his own, doesn't aspire to anything. Boring, in other words.

    Eight, He is rapidly begining to give of Author's pet vibes.

    Ninth, the constant torment of the 'Belkar won't die!!1!!1' threads.

    Those are the main ones. I have more, such as loosing my job to someone who looks suspiciously like Belkar () and the like, and how he reminds me of Richard from Looking For Group.
    I like you.

  5. - Top - End - #95
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Durkon x Lien quickie while I wait for inspiration. Trying something different, as in a prompt.
    You don’t mind.
    Spoiler
    Show

    I took her hand, and we dashed into the pounding waves, splashing and frolicking like two long lost friends. On several occasions the tumbling surf threw her into my willing arms, and I was able to gaze into the sapphire pools of her eyes before we were overtaken by another wave and sent tumbling into the salty brine.

    I realized at that moment I loved the sea, as mysterious and changing as her, beautiful in ways I had never appreciated, the same incomparable blue as her eyes, her hair. She was part of the sea, it was in her eyes, her hair, her thoughts. She should have been born some siren or mermaid, living her life in the endless vastness of her intended home.

    Another wave crashed into me, interrupting my musing and sending me sprawling, flailing hopelessly until somehow she was there and my struggling brought me into her embrace.

    She laughed, as wild and carefree as the ocean itself, and we spun around, touching, embracing until we were swept of our feet once more.

    At last we dragged ourselves onto the shore to lie exhausted on the sand, breathing heavily as we gazed into the heavens. Stretching out my arm I felt hers, and took it in mine. We were barely touching, but, somehow, we were the closest we’d ever been.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  6. - Top - End - #96

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Durkon x Lien quickie
    Pun* intended?

    *Probably not an actual pun.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  7. - Top - End - #97
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaytara's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Great picture, Saeyan. :D Gaah, your first time painting digitally? You seem to be doing exceptionally well. :D

    Zanaril, your story rocks. Darker!Insane!V is creepy to read about, in an awesome way. The worst part is how plausible V's behaviour there seems.

    I'll admit the plot turn of the Order ditching V didn't seem well-handled. I'd expect them to react in that sort of way if V had, say, tried to strangle one of them or blithely shot a Fireball at them with a creepy smile. Kicking V out immediately when he's only making them worried seems out of character, it would make more sense for them to confront him about it without kicking him out, and keep a close eye on him in the future. And of course, if they worry about V, then leaving him alone in the desert makes no sense at all.

    But given that the focus of the story is the relationship between V and Haerta, rather than V and the Order, it doesn't bother me too much. There's probably just a more elegant way to have done it. I think a better way to cover it would be in a narrative by V set several weeks later, relating how they bothered him and intruded on his privacy and tried to help him while he kept acting more and more strangely until they decided to part ways for both their benefits. Something like that. As I said, since the relationship between V and the Order isn't the focus here, perhaps telling rather than showing would have been better for a change.

    Don't let all that criticism put you off. :D I'm just trying to make my thoughts comprehensible.... XD It was an awesome story. :)

    Water-Smurf, great update as usual. :) The part with Durkon was great. Being afraid to go out and act, convincing himself that it's an illusion and will go away, also seems so very much like him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Aarindarius was pacing in front of the fire, biting his knuckle with his eyes closed. Vaarsuvius had only seen him do that once before when he had found out that a friend of his had become evil because of his lust for power. It was what Aarindarius did to calm down.
    Hmmm.... Foreshadowing of Aandy appearing in the story? O_o
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
    My old OotS fanart
    My art on Instagram

  8. - Top - End - #98
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post

    Zanaril, your story rocks. Darker!Insane!V is creepy to read about, in an awesome way. The worst part is how plausible V's behaviour there seems.

    I'll admit the plot turn of the Order ditching V didn't seem well-handled. I'd expect them to react in that sort of way if V had, say, tried to strangle one of them or blithely shot a Fireball at them with a creepy smile. Kicking V out immediately when he's only making them worried seems out of character, it would make more sense for them to confront him about it without kicking him out, and keep a close eye on him in the future. And of course, if they worry about V, then leaving him alone in the desert makes no sense at all.

    But given that the focus of the story is the relationship between V and Haerta, rather than V and the Order, it doesn't bother me too much. There's probably just a more elegant way to have done it. I think a better way to cover it would be in a narrative by V set several weeks later, relating how they bothered him and intruded on his privacy and tried to help him while he kept acting more and more strangely until they decided to part ways for both their benefits. Something like that. As I said, since the relationship between V and the Order isn't the focus here, perhaps telling rather than showing would have been better for a change.

    Don't let all that criticism put you off. :D I'm just trying to make my thoughts comprehensible.... XD It was an awesome story. :)
    Thanks for the advice, always appreciated I have trouble figuring out how the Order should react to things; making them just keep an eye on V for a while would be more plausable. It would also allow more time for V to get worse. Maybe it would work better if V is the one who makes the decision to leave, thinking the Order are all scheming behind her back... I think I'll try re-working that section.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Banned
     
    Closak's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Where the dragons are
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Now I'm confused about illusions. They're just pictures, right? Can they hurt you if you respond to them? Or do they just have more power over you if you react?

    I either need to stop reading The Shining until Water-Smurf is done with VxRC, or stop reading VxRC until I'm done with The Shining. I'm just confusing myself at this point.

    EDIT: Happy Halloween, all!
    Like The Dark Fiddler said.
    Some illusions are just so powerful that they will hurt you despite not being real.
    I'm going to give you non D&D example.

    One example of such a powerful illusion would be Sephiroth's Supernova.
    You know, the attack that blows up the solar system and makes the sun go BOOM!
    For an illusion that one sure hurts a lot (15/16 of your Hit Points gone just like that as well as a chance to inflict every negative and crippling status effect in the game)
    That guy sure knows his illusions.
    Having the power level of a Demi-God helps a lot too.



    But enough about that.
    I have noticed a disturbing lack of dragon in this thread *Thinks about the ABD and drools* Smexy dragon...

  10. - Top - End - #100
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    New thread. :D

    Hey, is it OK if I put my stories in script format instead?

  11. - Top - End - #101
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    I don't see any problem with it, and nothing prevents you to turn that script into prose later on. And it may be an occasion to use the characters smileys. :D

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    and how he reminds me of Richard from Looking For Group.
    I find Belkar much more interesting and funnier than Richard though. The fact that Belkar will (hopefully) get his comeuppance, unlike Richard, helps.
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-01 at 09:35 AM.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  12. - Top - End - #102
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Dang, those homework zombies take more ammo than a rabid elephant! Oh well, let's see what I've missed.

    ...

    Okay, let's see...

    @Water-Smurf: Wow, I'm impressed. Putting V into a relationship with RC seemed like a daunting task, but you seem to have it down. I mean, not only have you made sure to stick to canon information, but you've also manged to work in fanon without it being- OMG V'S PREGNANT?!???!1!!?!

    @Zanaril: Why teh lak of VxZ/AxI?

    @Everyone who submitted artwork: Wow, that stuff looks great!
    I kinda wish I could trust my drawing hand. I feel like I should be drawing too.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  13. - Top - End - #103
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    I don't see any problem with it, and nothing prevents you to turn that script into prose later on. And it may be an occasion to use the characters smileys. :D
    Here's my new one!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    (In the dark prisons of Azure City, a lone beam of sunlight penetrates the window, illuminating the soft face of a young woman, a woman who was once a Paladin)

    Twelve Gods, I beseech you, hear my plea! I ask of you, what is it that you desire? I slew the king who was conspiring with the evil Order of the Stick, but it was met with hostility. Tell me! What is it that-

    (Behind her, in another cell, a orc approaches)

    funny girl talks a lot!

    Shut it, Orc!

    (Behind the orc, there is a blonde haired man and a dark-skinned woman with red eyes. The blonde man, Nale tsks and shakes his head)

    Such a shame, isn't it? A Paladin thrown into jail by her own people.

    That little girl would be a wonderful addition to the party. After all, you yourself have a homocidal grudge against your own.

    (Nale laughs)

    Yeah, but getting her to join us would be like walking up to a PC and-

    We lost our clerics back in the hotel, and we lost Hilgya and Yik-Yik in the doungen, Nale. We're running low!

    (Suddenly, she reaches out for her straps)

    Unless you want me to start-

    (Surprised, Nale waves his hands at her to stop her from undressing herself)

    NO! Uh-no, Sabine, t-that won't be neccesarry! I have a better idea.

    (He walks toward Miko and kneels down)

    Miko. Can you hear me?

    Whatever leecherous lies you spit out, I will not heed them!

    Uh, right. Look, you were right all along. The Order of the Stick and the king were working for Xykon. I was trying to stop them all along.

    You were?

    Of course, I was. Sabine and Thog were too.

    But Sabine is one of the devils. How can you be good, yet ally with those who are from Hell itself?

    Neccesity, Miko. Sometimes you have to do things that are unthinkable for the greater good, much like you whacking off the king.

    (Miko's face shows signs that she is slowly understanding it)

    We're going to escape. We're going to help you as well.

    This must be what the Twelve Gods wanted.

    Yeah, sure, whatever. Now be quiet, I hear a guard coming!

    (Just like that, a lone guard appears. He's blooded, bruised and sweating from the battle. He had come in to check on the prisoners one last time. Nale takes his sword and waits in ambush while he passes through the gates. He slashes downward, killing him outright. Nale loots the keys and unlocks)

    (To Miko who is shocked) Necessity! Now hurry!

    (Miko is too stunned to move, so Nale orders Thog to carry her. They make their way up. When they finally get onto a wall, they pause to see the hobgoblins fight their way through the breech.)

    By the Twelve Gods...

    See what they did? Had we killed the Order ourselves, we would've prevented this.

    By the Twelve Gods, I will make them pay!

    There is no time. We must flee to the next gate! Sabine, can you carry three of us?

    I would, but that girl's armor looks a little heavy.

    Very well. I hereby shed the armor of the wrenched king!

    (She valiantly grabs her armor and pulls it over her and throws it off the wall. The others are shocked at this as she is now only wearing a small white bra and underwear)

    Light enough?

    Y-yes, it is. Take us away, Sabine.

    (Sabine takes to the sky, carrying Nale, who carries Miko in his arms. Thog holds onto Nale's feet)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I was thinking of doing a NalexMiko thing. ;) This is just Part I though.

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Meg's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Minnesota, ya?
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    @ Thor Person Guy: Why not post something anyway? As Dark Fiddler has said many a time, "We like it when you try."

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  15. - Top - End - #105
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Thor Person Guy's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    @ Thor Person Guy: Why not post something anyway? As Dark Fiddler has said many a time, "We like it when you try."
    1. I've never practiced drawing before. Really, the best I could do without the use of a computer would be a group of XKCD-style stick-figures.

    2. With a computer, I fail to make anything worth looking at without the use of VG sprite artwork, which I don't think would fit in with OOTS's stick figure style.

    3. Even if I could work around those two issues, the one idea I currently have has nothing to do with OOTS, and would thus be out of place on the comic's Crack Pairings thread. Unless you don't mind that, in which case, I'll get back to you.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  16. - Top - End - #106
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Belkster11, there's just something hilarious with Miko stripping and not even seeing anything wrong about it. Poor clueless darling.

    Reminds me I need to write a prequel that allows this scene:
    We kissed and cuddled. We did not have sex.
    What's sex?
    Case in point.

    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  17. - Top - End - #107
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Glad you like it, Discord. :p There are more coming up, including a scene between Nale/Miko that will make Sabine angry. Care to guess?

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    He gets into her pants, and she's jealous because she wanted to?
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  19. - Top - End - #109

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Not to burst your bubble or anything, but...


    Nale, sugar, I'm literally an evil incarnation of illicit sex, do I seem like I would get hung up on who you sleep with?

    Still, you might be able to pull it off.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  20. - Top - End - #110
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Not to burst your bubble or anything, but...


    Nale, sugar, I'm literally an evil incarnation of illicit sex, do I seem like I would get hung up on who you sleep with?

    Still, you might be able to pull it off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    He gets into her pants, and she's jealous because she wanted to?
    Remember, Sabine thinks Miko would look good in black leather.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  21. - Top - End - #111
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Not to burst your bubble or anything, but...


    Nale, sugar, I'm literally an evil incarnation of illicit sex, do I seem like I would get hung up on who you sleep with?

    Still, you might be able to pull it off.
    Because, damn, wouldn't want to break character, would we?
    It's not like we're writing crack-pairings or whatever.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  22. - Top - End - #112

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Because, damn, wouldn't want to break character, would we?
    It's not like we're writing crack-pairings or whatever.
    Some people like to try at least.

    I think they like the challenge.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  23. - Top - End - #113
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Here's part TWO!! :D
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    (Nale and the gang fly over to a patch of grassland far away from Azure City. They stand on a hill and see the city, very faintly, in the horizion. Suddenly, there's a brilliant explosion in the center.)

    (shocked) Twelve Gods...It's over.

    What's over, the sexy light show?

    The cursed Order of the Stick had caused my beloved city to fall! (begins to tear up) They will pay for their crimes!

    Yeah, yeah, weepy prostitute. I'm not the one standing around in my underwear crying in front of strangers.

    You do need clothes. I can't believe you just threw your armor away.

    Fortunally for you, I've got me some black leather armor I was saving up if Nale and I ever wanted to...have fun. (winks at Nale)

    That leather armor hardly covers my chest at all!

    Sure it does.

    Look at it! It leaves the stomach vunlerable and open for sword entries, and the back is much worst!

    Well, it's popular enough. Why else would all the gruff fighting girls wear stuff like this?

    Fine.

    (Miko puts it on)

    It's tight around the waist and shoulders...

    Uh, duh! It's leather! What, you were expecting armor made out of silk or something?

    Where do you intend to take me, devil?

    My name is Sabine, and we're taking you to the next gate so you can protected it from the evil Order.

    Of course! Then I shall have my revenge! The hated Order of the Stick shall-

    blahblahblah, something about revenge, blahblahblah. Honestly, I half expect you to say a long-winded speech about how they gutted your mother and father when you were a child and left a scar on your head that was shaped like the letter "L", and the killer (Who would most likely be the halfling) was the Dark Lord and he was your true birth father and-

    Enough! We must go to the gate at once! Let's move!

    (she marches ahead)

    Sheesh, that girl needs to unwind.

    Don't worry, sweetheart. I know just the thing.

    (that night, Nale walks up to Miko by a small stream. She's in anguish. Kneeling down while digging her fingers into the dirt, she cries bitter tears which drip into the pond)

    Wow, you're really upset, Miko.

    I lost my home, my family, everything....and it's all their fault!

    (touches her) It's okay. You're with us. Why don't you wash up.

    I don't see how.ACK!

    (She's surprised when she sees Nale taking his armor off. He has a red loincloth)

    Wh-What are you doing?

    About to take a dip. Care to join?

    Sure.

    NSFW!!
    Spoiler
    Show
    (They enter the water which goes up to their waists. Nale holds on to Miko's shoulders. His eyes scan the beautiful woman)

    You're really beautiful, Miko.

    Thank you.

    (She touches his chest and feels the rippling muscle underneath. She feels the thick, harden skin.)

    A man like you can't be that bad...

    (Nale smiles. He brushes her black hair behind her ears and kisses her on the forehead, cheeks, and lips. Miko does the same thing, going further by biting Nale's ear)

    (playfully) Ow. Remove your armor, girl.

    (Miko does so)

    (The two begin to make out until they fall over into the dirt by the stream and they have a fun time, until Sabine flies in. She spots Nale handing Miko a gift, a gift Sabine herself gave him.)

    What the?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TO BE CONCLUDED!!!!
    Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-11-01 at 05:59 PM.

  24. - Top - End - #114
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    New York
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    That was friking hilarious.

  25. - Top - End - #115
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Eh, cross dressing doesn't do it for me.

    Though if that worries you more then male on male non-consent then you may have issues.

    Trying to write a Soon Kim Haetra fic.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  26. - Top - End - #116
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    New York
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    *Sighs* Someone went and neutered my plot bunnies...

  27. - Top - End - #117
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    esmerelder's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    U.K

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    @ Discord

    Oh, that was awesome. Poor Haley! I do prefer my crack to keep the horror just this side of the believable, and I think you struck the balance really nicely there. Oh, those OOTS members and their terrible kinky secrets...
    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-11-01 at 08:29 PM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  28. - Top - End - #118

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Haha... that was funny. Good job, Discord.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  29. - Top - End - #119
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Saeyan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Lurkers Anonymous

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Has anyone else noticed that the Mods still haven't locked the old thread?

    Also, I was attacked by a rabid art bunny, so this is another picture of Redcloak and V's kid, 'cuz I'm that cool. The cools are weird, I should fix that.

    Spoiler
    Show


    Oh that is so cute I need to draw a picture of it or I will spontaneously combust. Thanks for making her a girl - easier to draw

    With a computer, I fail to make anything worth looking at without the use of VG sprite artwork, which I don't think would fit in with OOTS's stick figure style.
    What is a VG sprite?

    PS: Discord - that was hilarious!
    Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-11-02 at 07:34 AM.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Land of Clocks and Stars
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    can the kid be twins? one boy, one girl?
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •