Results 1,261 to 1,290 of 1474
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2009-11-30, 11:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Among the spiders
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I'm actually very glad you pointed that out, because it gives me an opportunity to point out the significance of that. She's talking to Xykon. Actually talking without necessity. That's the biggest indicator of this trust in him to be honest. It's a sign that she's already steeped in his charisma before she's even apprenticed to/working for him. In all honesty, she can be just as talkative as any other kid, but how comfortable she is talking or not talking is the indicator of how much she trusts someone, though she can also just not talk due to habit.
But I love that you talked about it. Please point out any inconsistencies you see--it's either on purpose and I'm waiting for an opportunity to talk or it's not on purpose (a reminder that I suck at OCs) and I need to fix it.
And I finished up the CoP chapter. :-)
SpoilerThey had to stop in the abandoned village for the fourth time for Vaarsuvius to sit down and fight off a dizzy spell. Redcloak was obviously worried about it, the mysterious third voice inside of him forcing him to become more and more agitated over his lover’s health. He had to actively fight himself to keep from growling, purring, or holding Vaarsuvius protectively. This deeply primal need to make sure that… oh great Dark One, he thought of Vaarsuvius as his mate. (Wasn’t that only supposed to happen once he had kids?) But he had this base urge to make sure that his lover was always safe and at his side. Why all this all of the sudden? What was wrong with him? What, by the Dark One, was wrong with him?
More to the point, what was wrong with Vaarsuvius?
The elf just sat on a stone wall next to one of the houses made from red clay, face looking a little ashen and arms wrapped securely around a slender abdomen. Redcloak suppressed a protective and worried growl, stepping in front of the elf and leaning forward to see Vaarsuvius better.
“Redcloak, I fear I have fallen ill. I am slowing us both down.”
“I’m not going to leave you here, if that’s what you’re implying.” The goblin frowned at the elf, clinically wrapping his hands loosely around a slender neck and feeling if anything was swollen. “You know, evil clerics are still clerics. I know how to deal with sickness. What hurts?”
“I know my ailment, Redcloak.” The elf squirmed a little, reluctant to allow the goblin to examine too closely. “Suffice to say that I am ill. For now, I must suffer through it until this is over.”
“Vaarsuvius, don’t be stupid. You’re sick. If you’re getting this dizzy, then it can be serious.”
“Redcloak, do not pry into this.” Vaarsuvius shifted back, obviously starting to get defensive, and the grip tightened hard around a small abdomen. This agitated Redcloak further, making the third voice within rage and demand that the problem with his mate be found and dealt with. “This is not your concern.”
The goblin sighed in frustration. The scientist and the person ganged up on the third voice, trying to wrestle it to the ground and yet being bested easily. The third was far stronger than any other conscious aspect of Redcloak. “We don’t have time to deal with you being stubborn, Vaarsuvius.”
“Then accept that I am not being forthcoming and let us continue our journey.” Vaarsuvius scowled warningly and hopped off the stone wall, starting down the dirt road again.
“Vaarsuvius—”
Redcloak gripped the elf’s shoulder tightly, but instead of making the mage stop, Vaarsuvius spun around and slapped him hard in the face.
The goblin recoiled, holding a hand to a growing red mark on his cheek, the shock in his expression morphing into hurt.
“It is none of your concern, Redcloak.”
The elf gave him another glare and turned around, arms crossed, and continued forward. Redcloak followed after only a moment, keeping his hands carefully away from the mage.
They didn’t talk again for a while.
---
“Yer na goin’ t’ get me tha’ easily!”
Durkon nimbly jumped up on a stone platform, running across it with something at his heels. He kept his hammer brandished at his side, and when he hit the wall, he spun, hands glowing white. “GO BACK T’ THA ABYSS YE CAME FROM!”
The creature reared up, shrieking, and a blast of pure divine magic slammed it head-on.
---
Aarindarius weaved through the virtual maze of illusions with difficulty, the concentration required starting to make his head pound. He was battered by emotions that weren’t his—despair, anger, hurt, love, contentment, amusement, fear, shame, guilt. Things that should have distracted him. He simply focused on Vaarsuvius and everything else melted away. He was going to find her if it was the last thing he did.
“Who are you people?”
The voice was just next to his ear, breath brushing against his earlobe and making him tremble. Damnable sensitivity in that area! But he ignored the illusion, focusing solely on slipping through the strands of magic.
“This place hasn’t had any action for decades and suddenly it’s Grand Central Station!”
Aarindarius started undoing the tapestry, glimmers of hanged shadows, the smiling, innocent face of a blond man with a goatee, a happy dark-skinned human patting his son’s back and picking strawberries, an emaciated red-haired male prisoner, and dead goblins flickering past.
“Are you one of them? One of the people who killed Lirian? Dorukan?”
Grief—silent, stealthy, hidden away forever—manifested within the web.
“Soon is dead. Lirian is dead. Dorukan is dead. Kraagor is gone. Serini…”
The web started sticking to Aarindarius’s robe, pulling him deeper in, making him start to lose grip on his magic.
“Why should you see the one you love when I can’t? When Soon can’t?”
Aarindarius struggled to keep his unweaving up.
“Well, I can’t let you cheat. Soon and I can’t, so you can’t either.”
The illusions snapped around Aarindarius, dragging him into darkness.
“Good luck.”
The presence disappeared and Aarindarius felt someone wrap thin arms around his waist from behind, teeth lightly nibbling at his ear. He let out a gasp, his entire body going rigid and blood automatically rushing to his face. He grabbed at the hands at his abdomen, trying to twist out of their grip, but the teeth lightly bit on the tip of his ear and a tongue ran down it, forcing a mewl from his lips.
“How dare you?!”
Aarindarius twisted so he was face-to-face with his assaulter, his hands and eyes glowing in preparation for a spell, light illuminating the other’s countenance. The wizard froze.
A familiar purple-haired elf smiled, slipping delicate arms around Aarindarius’s neck and pressing their lips together. Their tongues touched. Their heartbeats pounded against each other’s chest. Thin fingers slipped past the wizard’s robe, touching him in a way that he hadn’t been touched in a long time.
“No, Vaarsuvius…”
Aarindarius’s own body betrayed him. The soft cries from his student in his ear sent lightning down his spine. His hands instinctively went to places that he knew that he should never touch on his old apprentice. Vaarsuvius made a gentle mewling sound, readily encouraging the touches. “Master!” Another cry, jolting the wizard. “Aarindarius!”
The sound of his old student’s voice snapped him out of the momentary shock-induced lapse. He sharply pulled away, breathing heavily and closing his robe. “No. I am not going to do this. I do not care if you are an illusion or not—I refuse to entertain any sort of fantasy regarding my student, former or no.”
Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, leaning against a wall. “Aarindarius…”
“Fiend. I know that you are not Vaarsuvius. I do not bear witness to what happens in her mind, but she would never approach me in such a blatantly sexual manner.” Aarindarius forced himself to calm down, tying his robe up tightly. “Close your gown. Show your own body if you wish, but do not defile my old apprentice in such a way.”
The demon that had the form of Vaarsuvius looked at him pleadingly with big violet eyes, body still blatantly showing. “Master, you want this!”
“Every form of love has a sexual undertone. If nothing else, that is what Vaarsuvius’s parents taught me.” He glanced down for a moment, eyes closed with shame. “My body wishes for Vaarsuvius. I will not deny it.” He looked up, hands starting to light with dark purple fire. “My mind and heart, however, do not. She is my daughter.” Aarindarius’s eyes started to glow. “I will not suffer your continued perversion of the image of my daughter. Be gone or I shall destroy you myself!”
The fiend disguised as Vaarsuvius let out a loud obscenity, the word sounding incredibly foreign in Aarindarius’s old apprentice’s voice. “For the love of my unholy masters! What is it with the tramp’s form and people refusing to screw?!”
The fiend morphed into a black-haired succubus, red eyes glowing darkly. “I mean, this is the second time I’ve taken her form and already two guys reject me!”
“Pardon me?”
“Next time, I’m just going to spend my time polymorphed as a dead body and keep screwing the Theurge chick.”
The succubus disappeared, leaving a thoroughly confused wizard behind.
He blinked and ran a hand through his hair. “What on Earth has Vaarsuvius gotten herself into…?”
No one was there to answer.
---
The creature lovingly cradled its bundle, a low hum coming from deep in its throat. Blood stained the branch it sat upon. The red liquid dried and stuck to the wood like sap. Strains of a forgotten lullaby murmured from the observer’s lips. The bundle gave no response.
The creature held out a hand and the world began to change.
Sand became hard and packed. The temperature dropped like a brick. Puddles of water gathered on the ground without reason and froze solid. Snow fell from the sky and, against physics, the temperature continued to drop despite the natural insulator.
The creature’s lips turned up in a smile.
The snow and ice quickly built up and creatures made of nightmares rose from the frozen wasteland.
Thoughts?
(By the way, I'm still looking for thoughts/help with Tiasal's/Right-Eye's relationship. And possibly her relationship with the rest of her goblin family.)
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2009-11-30, 11:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-30, 01:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-30, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Aaron; 2009-11-30 at 03:49 PM.
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-30, 04:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Water_Smurf, I still have no idea what the ice kid is supposed to be.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-30, 05:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
- Gender
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2009-11-30, 06:13 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Central Florida
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Originally Posted by Discord"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." -God... maybe.
A hero is more than a person, a hero is a belief. A belief that, against impossible odds, the world can be saved—and that the world is still worth saving. Heroes inspire that belief in us. They renew our faith and give us that most precious of all gifts—hope. The world needs heroes. That's why, when true heros arrive, the world will honor them."
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2009-11-30, 08:18 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-30, 08:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- The land of corn
- Gender
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2009-11-30, 08:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I went home for Thanksgiving. There's no internet at my house.
So that's almost 6 days of Crack Thread expansion in my absence, which I do not have the ability to read through and emerge victorious, or even alive.
So yeah, what did I miss?Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-30, 08:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-30, 08:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Bunch of stories, two of Water_Smurf's updates, I posted a crack pairing as well. Some more CPs. Just check the index on the first page!
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-30 at 08:35 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-30, 08:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Okay, the Index scares me. I don't know what I have and haven't read on that, either...
Uh... Yeah, I got nothing to show, myself. I think I came up with a crack idea or two, but lost them over the break. I need to go back and edit my last failed attempt at VxCain at some point...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-30, 08:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Well, Water_Smurf updated twice (Both RC/V and spawnfic), and I updated (ABD/Guy with a Halberd). Other people updated too, but I can't remember right now, sorry.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-30, 08:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-30, 08:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
- Gender
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2009-11-30, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Aww, don't be afraid of the index.
I was thinking of adding a section at the top where I'd list the stories I've most recently added to the index. Would you guys find that helpful?
@Water-Smurf: That chapter was excellent, I'm shivering in anticipation for the next one now.Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.
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2009-12-01, 01:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Dolla dolla bill, y'allLeague of Legends S3 Ranked Challenge: 6/100 wins, Silver IV
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2009-12-01, 02:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*steps out of the shadows*
Alright, I'll bite. Your writing is rather unpolished, and there were an almost painful number of spelling and grammar mistakes for so short a work.
I'm assuming I'm not supposed to take it seriously, and it's pure crack for crack's sake, which is fine. However, I didn't find it particularly funny, either. Although, the idea of a giant Roy being erm... "set upon" by an amorous dragon is nearly as amusing as it is disturbing, so you get points for that.
As for the spells V casts, I think you're looking for Bull's Strength (as opposed to Lion's Strength, which doesn't exist) and Enlarge Person. There's no Dragon Size spell, though I believe there is one called Giant Size, but it may be self-only. There's no Cheeta's Stamina (and I wasn't aware cheetas were known for long distance running. I thought they were sprinters), but it seems irrelevant because stamina is a synonym for endurance. I realize you've hand-waved it by saying V cast the spells from scrolls, but even scrolls contain spells that actually exist in the game.
As for recommendations... spend a little more time editing your work. No one expects university level dissertations, but strong spelling and grammar help make the story flow better. Next, maybe browse the 3.5 System Reference Document a little bit. You seem to be in an uncanny valley here. You know just enough about the D&D rules to make it clear that you don't quite know everything (then again, maybe you just made up those spells on the fly with humourous intent, but their origin wasn't explained so I'm not sure). Finally, show, don't tell. If a bar fight is going to break out, don't have Roy just say it, have one guy grab a halfling by the ankles and smash the screaming runt into another guy's face. At that point, Roy can probably guess there's a bar fight about to break out / in progress.
*slinks back into the shadows*
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2009-12-01, 03:21 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
(You mentioned this but whatever) I think they were just meant to be simple puns. OR they were meant to be upgraded versions. I mean he also Italic'd the words, so I think that was the most likely. Other then that your argument was sounding a bit less like constructive criticism at times.
Last edited by Crilly; 2009-12-01 at 03:23 AM.
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2009-12-01, 04:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- The Blessed Geometry
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Really? Try reading it again, only imagine it being narrated and acted out in Gary's Mod like Full Life Consequences
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2009-12-01, 07:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
...
...
...
SHE'S MINE! *Pushes Roy out of the way*
Oh yeah, feeling horny babe?
...This is gonna take a while...
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2009-12-01, 08:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
((Gender-switched Roy) + The entire Hobgoblin army) + ((Julio Scoundrel + Haley's Dad) + Sarah Greenhilt)
......
Coming soon.
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2009-12-01, 01:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
- Location
- Copenhagen, Denmark
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Can I just say:
?
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2009-12-01, 02:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Tass though that if he died at that moment, he wouldn't mind. His heart felt as though it would be torn from his chest, and if that was what it took for him to show his love, so be it. It would always be an odd relationship; he didn't know what drew him, whether it was awe or horrified fascination, or something in-between. He wasn't sure if his feelings were returned, if the object of his admiration could even feel emotions. But he knew without a doubt that now he had admitted his affection to the Crack Pairings thread, it would never truly let him go.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-12-01, 02:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*Tries to crawl out of the cave*
*Get's dragged back in*
ARGH!
Help?
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2009-12-01, 02:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-12-01, 02:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Dominican Republic
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
The Brain Bleach Does Nothing!!!! Auuughhhhhblrblrblrlrbl
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2009-12-01, 02:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-01 at 02:38 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-12-01, 02:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
GAH! *Tries to escape*
Enough already! I have other things to do! *Get's dragged back in again*
Crap.
I'm gonna be scarred for life after this...