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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Then get outside more often.
    No thanks. I already spend enough time every day surrounded by people to tell that most of them are jerks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

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    ...great, now he's gonna start asking for dragon porn. I hope you're happy with yourself.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 03:52 PM.
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  2. - Top - End - #182
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Another drawing.

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    And no, no I do not know what possessed me to draw this. And again, sorry for the so-so quality of the colors, colored pencils don't scan very well.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  3. - Top - End - #183
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    No thanks. I already spend enough time every day surrounded by people to tell that most of them are jerks.
    Allow me to tell you about my day.

    My life is finally getting back in order. Despite a cold, I'm doing well in school again. I got As on all my tests. Great, huh?

    Except now I'm being sexually harassed by almost every single guy in my class.

  4. - Top - End - #184

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    My life is finally getting back in order. Despite a cold, I'm doing well in school again. I got As on all my tests. Great, huh?
    Hey, congrats!

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Except now I'm being sexually harassed by almost every single guy in my class.
    Go to the principal and threaten to use the law if they do nothing?*

    *Standard response to anything school-related.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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  5. - Top - End - #185
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

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    Nice...


    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril
    ...great, now he's gonna start asking for dragon porn. I hope you're happy with yourself.
    *Whistles innocently*

  6. - Top - End - #186
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Wow, Water-Smurf. :D Hearing you go on about your characters (and yes, I really DID write "your characters" there without thinking, because of how wonderfully you've fleshed them out) is almost as good as another chapter. I wish I could say I'm sorry for making spend what was surely an extra half hour of typing it out, but I'm not nearly selfless enough for that. :D

    I'm glad you elaborated on the literary techniques, too. I'd also been wanting to ask about that, but I forgot...

    I also try to do that, the "referring to another character in a way consistent with the POV". V is mostly just "elf" or "Ears" to Belkar. I didn't realise it was an actual literary technique, though. It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.

    You know, the recent Star Trek movie got me into the shiny new reboot fandom.
    Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing.
    *Above post: Additional terms and restrictions may apply.
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  7. - Top - End - #187
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    *ahem*

    I HAZ A CHALLENGE KTHX.



    Someone write Leeky Windstaff x Julia Greenhilt x Vaarsuvius x Jirix x Tsukiko x Bugbear snowed in in a cabin.
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    Avatar by KwarkPudding!

  8. - Top - End - #188
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    You know, the recent Star Trek movie got me into the shiny new reboot fandom.
    Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lira View Post
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    Art by Tira-chan

    Spock and Vaarsuvius.
    I know nothing about StarTrek, but I still agree.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  9. - Top - End - #189
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.
    Same here. It's just a part of making them in character. It actually reminds me of a fanfiction writer who wrote one story in two parts; the same plot lived through two different characters. In this case it was the (cartoon) Teen Titans fandom with Robin (circus boy who lived most of his life under Batman's wing) and Terra (blonde girl who literally lived under a rock for most of her life). The narrative contrast was impressive.

    And nice story CoffeeIncluded.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  10. - Top - End - #190
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Thanks to everyone who's willing to help me out with spells!

    (Hey, what level do you guys think Aarindarius is? I have the SRD sorcerer/wizard spell list open, but I don't know where he'd be...)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    I wish I could say I'm sorry for making spend what was surely an extra half hour of typing it out, but I'm not nearly selfless enough for that. :D
    No need to apologize! I'm usually actively waiting for someone to ask a question like that. I love going on verbose rants but I don't want to make anyone read something they didn't ask for.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    I also try to do that, the "referring to another character in a way consistent with the POV". V is mostly just "elf" or "Ears" to Belkar. I didn't realise it was an actual literary technique, though. It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.
    It is, and it is also a literary technique. It's about using words with connotations but technically mean the same thing (I mean, just look at Frankenstein and Their Eyes were Watching God! They are the king and queen of this). 'Lover' and 'partner' mean the same thing, but one implies something much more intimate than the other. It's about the nuance of language, implying things to a deeper extent than just how the character would talk. (I mean, you're able to figure out that
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    Victor Frankenstein is gay without any proof beyond the nuances of his behavior and language.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing.
    Similar story on my end, though in addition to V/Spock, I've also been thinking up V/the Magus from Gargoyles. (They have a lot in common, those two...)

    Maybe I'll make a short story or something with either pairing...

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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  11. - Top - End - #191
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    My guess would be that Aarindarius is a level or two shy of epic. So maybe 17, 18, 19? If he was on par with Xykon, I think he would have been mentioned as a potential ally, despite V wanting to do things on her own. And he can hardly be lower level than V.

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Similar story on my end, though in addition to V/Spock, I've also been thinking up V/the Magus from Gargoyles. (They have a lot in common, those two...)

    Maybe I'll make a short story or something with either pairing...
    Never heard of that last one. What's Gargoyles?

    And out of interest, are you still planning on writing a V/Aandy story?
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 06:22 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #192
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    And out of interest, are you still planning on writing a V/Aandy lime?
    Fixed.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  13. - Top - End - #193
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    Fixed.
    Guilty as charged.
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  14. - Top - End - #194

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    And he can hardly be lower level than V.
    I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying.

    Also, I find your placement of italics interesting.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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  15. - Top - End - #195
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying.
    If he had been equal or lower level than V, he wouldn't have been the alternative plan for killing the ABD. I know V was in pretty bad shape there, but if he wasn't powerful enough to deal with the dragon, V would have called them up in it. (Or maybe not, but there's no indication that V didn't believe the alternative plan would work.)

    Also, I find your placement of italics interesting.
    ...Eh?
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  16. - Top - End - #196

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    l[I]ower [/I]
    This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  17. - Top - End - #197
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not.
    So that's why it looks weird. That's just me using the highlighting tool instead of typing the BB code and missing the first letter.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-07 at 05:57 PM.
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  18. - Top - End - #198
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not.
    At first I thought you meant an innuendo about lower level and V topping... I'm sorely disappointed.
    Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-12-07 at 06:14 PM.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  19. - Top - End - #199
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    And here I thought you thought the italics meant a double entendre about who topped...
    Well now you mention it...

    *goes and writes ' lower/higher "level" ' on list of potential double entendres*

    Of course now I can't use that one until you've all forgotten it.
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  20. - Top - End - #200
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying.
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    According to the origin, V got to level 13 or so on studying alone before becoming an adventurer after eight decades of learning. If V is 100+, Andy would be at least 200-300 at the minimum. According to Haley, adventuring is twelve times faster than the traditional methods of your class, (Studying for V or being a thief for Haley...). Andy also seemed when *h* kicked V out of h** castle that it was bad to be one who only studies, so it's safe to assume he/she got some adventuring in as well.

    And that V, who had several epic level *contractors* took several rounds to kill the dragon, while it seemed A could do it instantly is an "absurdly powerful warning".


    Then again, my lack of a social brain might have looked over whether or not this specific topic was supposed to be a serious discussion.

  21. - Top - End - #201
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaytara View Post
    someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing.
    YES! I'd do it if I had a plot. Or maybe I could just do what I've been doing with my current V stories...
    I'm a heterosexual female. Human.
    Same, but that doesn't prevent me from drawing females almost exclusively and visiting Playelf galleries.

    Well, actually I haven't visited the gallery yet, but I am planning to once my room is empty.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Thanks to everyone who's willing to help me out with spells!

    (Hey, what level do you guys think Aarindarius is? I have the SRD sorcerer/wizard spell list open, but I don't know where he'd be...)
    Not having read Origin of the PCs, I'd hazard a guess at the 15-17 range. I doubt Aarindarius could have killed the dragon as easily as the fiends made it out to be, or else, as someone in the thread mentioned, Aarindarius is absurdly powerful, which doesn't make much sense.

  23. - Top - End - #203
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    what I know about DND is slightly more about what I know about twilight (not much - sparkly vampires, bad actors, weak females, etc.) but can someone kind of explain the levels to me? on a scale of 100, how poerful is say, V? or his master? or xykon?

  24. - Top - End - #204
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkElfGangsta View Post
    what I know about DND is slightly more about what I know about twilight (not much - sparkly vampires, bad actors, weak females, etc.) but can someone kind of explain the levels to me? on a scale of 100, how poerful is say, V? or his master? or xykon?
    Levels are 1-20. V and the party are about 15 now. His master we think is ~17. Xykon is 27+, and no, that's not a typo.

    15: The laws of reality have been broken
    17: The laws of reality are crying in a corner
    27: The laws of reality are currently suffering from Evan's Spiked Tentacles

    That said, the above applies to well-built casters, which no one in the comic is. V is learning to apply hir might more effectively, but as-is, it's more, Xykon can wipe out armies of 12th level characters, Aandi can wipe out groups of 15th level characters, and V can wipe out groups of 12th level characters.

    Edit: For reference, 5th level is when PCs can start preforming beyond human capability with minimal investment and no spellcasting.
    Last edited by Sstoopidtallkid; 2009-12-08 at 12:12 AM.
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  25. - Top - End - #205
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Alright, time for a new chapter.

    Chapter 2: "I just hope a barfight doesn't break out"

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    Roy swallowed past the panicked lump that was quickly forming in his throat. "N-now Miko, remember what happened last time you slashed an unarmed man..." He backpedalled towards the bar, keeping his table between him and his assailant.

    Miko simply kicked the table, sending it careening to the right. Roy could vaguely hear Smilin' Pete's protests in the background as he kept his focus on the armored woman. Her eyes had narrowed dangerously. "Yes, I remember." She hissed. "I remember how you tricked me into betraying my liege lord. I will not let you humiliate me again! Die!"

    "It's a bit late for - gah!" Roy cried as Miko lunged at him, sword first. He blocked the blade awkwardly with his chair and leapt back out of reach. He circled her, trying to keep from being pinned in a corner. "Miko, for once in your life - death, whatever - just stop and think for a moment! What will you gain by skewering me?"

    "This is about justice, Greenhilt! It's a concept you have little grasp of!" Again she lunged forward, swinging her katana with both hands. Roy blocked one strike with the chair, dodged the second, and caught the third one on the shoulder. He hissed in pain. Okay, so he could be hurt in the afterlife.

    "Roy's Archon!" He barked desperately. "I can't die again, can I?"

    "Do you really want to find out?" The Archon asked nervously.

    "Shut up and fight me, Greenhilt!" Miko demanded, taking another wild thrust. Roy jumped back and suddenly found himself against the bar.

    He glanced at the bar, finding it a bit too high to jump. "I'm a bit busy taking total defense actions to - uh oh." Sensing that he was trapped, Miko was charging straight at him, sword raised above her head. About three steps away from him she suddenly vaulted into the air, bringing her sword down towards his head in a deadly arc.

    Roy did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He tossed his chair to the side, and, in a maneuver that could be called equal parts inspiration and stupidity, dropped flat and rolled, such that Miko's swing - and then Miko herself - flew wildly over his head. He heard a thunk and the sound of shattering glassware as the katana embedded itself about a foot into the bar.

    He picked himself up as fast as his armor would allow, quickly training his eyes on his opponent. He found her struggling vainly to pull her sword out of the bar, cursing under her breath. Roy grabbed his chair and looked at Pete, who nodded mutely. He shrugged, squared his stance, raised the chair up high, and brought it smashing down on the back of his attacker's head. He could barely contain a grin as Miko screamed in indignation and pain as the chair shattered into a million splinters over her skull.

    "Oh yeah, that felt good." He gloated. "Roy's Archon, did you see that?"

    "Roy, look out!" The Archon yelled.

    Roy had just enough time to turn around and see Miko's rage-filled eyes as she leapt at him with her short sword (wakizashi? He wasn't sure if that was the correct term) extended. He sidestepped, but not fast enough, and was rewarded with a stinging cut to the side for his moment of indescretion.

    "Where's your ancestral sword now, villain?" Miko snarled, shaking her head to dislodge a few of the wood chips in her hair.

    "It's actually kind of a long story!" Roy replied, trying to sound optimistic. "If you'd like to put this fight on hold I could tell y-" She lunged at him again with a wordless snarl, and he literally dove under a table to avoid her. Once under it, he flipped it so that the tabletop faced her, putting another obstacle between them. "I guess that's a no?"

    "I am not sure how you managed to get in here, Greenhilt, but rest assured, I am going to defeat you and bring you to the proper authorities. Your soul will end up where it belongs!" Miko declared, the very picture of righteous anger. She jumped over the upturned table and landed mere feet from the beleagured Roy.

    "You WHAT?!" Roy yelled back, suddenly full of anger of his own. "You think I snuck into the Celestial Realm?"

    "How else would a menace like you get in here?" Miko demanded. She jumped back as Roy flung a mug at her, then kicked a thrown chair out of her way. "You don't mean to tell me they just let you walk in!"

    "You're insane!" Roy shot back. He grabbed a steak knife from an empty table with a half finished meal upon it. Evidently the patron who had been sitting there had been wise enough to flee. "You can't even comprehend that you might have been wrong, about anything!" He charged, swinging the knife in a viscious diagonal slash that caught nothing but air. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they let me in?! Because I've lived a life of law and goodness?!" He continued to rant, slashing wildly, forcing Miko back. "That maybe I haven't gone around making a mockery of the forces of good while preaching that I work for them?!"

    "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Miko shrieked, launching a series of three quick attacks that left Roy with two new gashes to add to his growing collection. Roy considered himself the victor in the exchange, though. He'd managed to score a hit on her cheek with a dirty steak knife. He hoped she'd somehow get an infection from the wound.

    "Talking's a free action, I'll say as much as I like!" Roy replied, feeling only slightly less angry than the now rabidly snarling Miko. He feinted low and then punched her in the mouth with his off hand, being sure to rake his fist over her wounded cheek. She stumbled back. "You're an arrogant bitch who's so out of touch with reality that it makes more sense to you that I somehow tricked the gods themselves into letting me play on their mountain rather than that I'm one of the good guys."

    Miko charged wildly, swinging her blade overhead. Roy sidestepped, letting her run past, and gave her a wicked cut on her side for her trouble. "Try not to power attack for your entire base attack bonus next time." He growled. He expected another wild attack, but apparently some part of what he was saying was penetrating the thick wall of rage and pride that cut off the logic centers of Miko's brain. She was crouched low in a battle stance, clutching at the wound on her side with her free hand. She advanced on him cautiously.

    Roy looked at his opponent. Maybe, just this once, he could talk his way through an encounter with Miko. If he was wrong, well, he still had a bunch of hit points left. He reversed his grip on the knife and slammed it into a table over another protest from Pete. Miko blinked at him in shock, hovering just out of his melee range, perhaps suspecting a trap. "You know what, Miko?" He said, letting go of his anger. "I'm done. I'm not playing your game any more. I didn't like butting heads with you in life and I like it even less in death. So go ahead. Arrest me or whatever it is you plan to do. Take me to your authorities so we can get this stupid business sorted out and I can go back to visiting my mom and my little brother."

    Miko's eyes flickered over his face. "This is a trick." She said, sounding just the slightest bit unsure of herself.

    "I don't care what you think. You've been nothing but wrong since we've met, and I finally see that there's no way I can convince you that I'm on the side of good. So I'm done having these schoolyard fights with you. Call the teacher. I don't care anymore." Very pointedly, Roy pulled out a chair and sat in it, folding his arms.

    Miko's eyes flickered to her blade and then back to her defenseless opponent.

    Roy rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, do it. Say you're on the side of justice and stab an unarmed man who's cooperating with you. Make yourself a hypocrite again."

    Surprisingly, Miko chuckled. "Ah, I see what you're doing here, Greenhilt. This is all just another trick. You want me to lose my temper. You want me to stab you. I bet the bartender was in on it! It was all just an elaborate ruse!"

    "Yes Miko, you've figured me out! I enjoy being run-through! How will I ever live out my masochistic fantasies now?"

    "What's your game, Greenhilt? What does getting me to stab you accomplish for you?"

    Roy practically groaned. "Nothing, you idiot! It'd get me dead! Again! Somehow! I-I-gah!" He trailed off into a number of choked, angry sounds, wringing his hands. "Were you always like this, or did they just forget to remove the stick from your ass along with the rest of your Paladin features?!"

    Roy was not prepared for what happened next. Miko recoiled as if struck, dropping her weapon with a clatter. If he hadn't been stunned into motionlessness, he probably would have used that moment to get the sword away from her. Next, he watched as her face twisted into a horrible mask of grief and pain, and finally, she fell to her knees, pressing both hands over her face.

    Roy would have laughed at anyone who told him a tale as outlandish as the scene that was playing out before him now. It was something he had never expected to see in either life or death. Miko Miyazaki was crying.


    And I managed to end on another cliffhanger. So, what do we think? I'm not sure how good I am at writing action sequences, especially with dialogue mixed in. I hope it flows alright.

  26. - Top - End - #206
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark_Stryke View Post
    Alright, time for a new chapter.

    Chapter 2: "I just hope a barfight doesn't break out"

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    Roy swallowed past the panicked lump that was quickly forming in his throat. "N-now Miko, remember what happened last time you slashed an unarmed man..." He backpedalled towards the bar, keeping his table between him and his assailant.

    Miko simply kicked the table, sending it careening to the right. Roy could vaguely hear Smilin' Pete's protests in the background as he kept his focus on the armored woman. Her eyes had narrowed dangerously. "Yes, I remember." She hissed. "I remember how you tricked me into betraying my liege lord. I will not let you humiliate me again! Die!"

    "It's a bit late for - gah!" Roy cried as Miko lunged at him, sword first. He blocked the blade awkwardly with his chair and leapt back out of reach. He circled her, trying to keep from being pinned in a corner. "Miko, for once in your life - death, whatever - just stop and think for a moment! What will you gain by skewering me?"

    "This is about justice, Greenhilt! It's a concept you have little grasp of!" Again she lunged forward, swinging her katana with both hands. Roy blocked one strike with the chair, dodged the second, and caught the third one on the shoulder. He hissed in pain. Okay, so he could be hurt in the afterlife.

    "Roy's Archon!" He barked desperately. "I can't die again, can I?"

    "Do you really want to find out?" The Archon asked nervously.

    "Shut up and fight me, Greenhilt!" Miko demanded, taking another wild thrust. Roy jumped back and suddenly found himself against the bar.

    He glanced at the bar, finding it a bit too high to jump. "I'm a bit busy taking total defense actions to - uh oh." Sensing that he was trapped, Miko was charging straight at him, sword raised above her head. About three steps away from him she suddenly vaulted into the air, bringing her sword down towards his head in a deadly arc.

    Roy did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He tossed his chair to the side, and, in a maneuver that could be called equal parts inspiration and stupidity, dropped flat and rolled, such that Miko's swing - and then Miko herself - flew wildly over his head. He heard a thunk and the sound of shattering glassware as the katana embedded itself about a foot into the bar.

    He picked himself up as fast as his armor would allow, quickly training his eyes on his opponent. He found her struggling vainly to pull her sword out of the bar, cursing under her breath. Roy grabbed his chair and looked at Pete, who nodded mutely. He shrugged, squared his stance, raised the chair up high, and brought it smashing down on the back of his attacker's head. He could barely contain a grin as Miko screamed in indignation and pain as the chair shattered into a million splinters over her skull.

    "Oh yeah, that felt good." He gloated. "Roy's Archon, did you see that?"

    "Roy, look out!" The Archon yelled.

    Roy had just enough time to turn around and see Miko's rage-filled eyes as she leapt at him with her short sword (wakizashi? He wasn't sure if that was the correct term) extended. He sidestepped, but not fast enough, and was rewarded with a stinging cut to the side for his moment of indescretion.

    "Where's your ancestral sword now, villain?" Miko snarled, shaking her head to dislodge a few of the wood chips in her hair.

    "It's actually kind of a long story!" Roy replied, trying to sound optimistic. "If you'd like to put this fight on hold I could tell y-" She lunged at him again with a wordless snarl, and he literally dove under a table to avoid her. Once under it, he flipped it so that the tabletop faced her, putting another obstacle between them. "I guess that's a no?"

    "I am not sure how you managed to get in here, Greenhilt, but rest assured, I am going to defeat you and bring you to the proper authorities. Your soul will end up where it belongs!" Miko declared, the very picture of righteous anger. She jumped over the upturned table and landed mere feet from the beleagured Roy.

    "You WHAT?!" Roy yelled back, suddenly full of anger of his own. "You think I snuck into the Celestial Realm?"

    "How else would a menace like you get in here?" Miko demanded. She jumped back as Roy flung a mug at her, then kicked a thrown chair out of her way. "You don't mean to tell me they just let you walk in!"

    "You're insane!" Roy shot back. He grabbed a steak knife from an empty table with a half finished meal upon it. Evidently the patron who had been sitting there had been wise enough to flee. "You can't even comprehend that you might have been wrong, about anything!" He charged, swinging the knife in a viscious diagonal slash that caught nothing but air. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they let me in?! Because I've lived a life of law and goodness?!" He continued to rant, slashing wildly, forcing Miko back. "That maybe I haven't gone around making a mockery of the forces of good while preaching that I work for them?!"

    "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Miko shrieked, launching a series of three quick attacks that left Roy with two new gashes to add to his growing collection. Roy considered himself the victor in the exchange, though. He'd managed to score a hit on her cheek with a dirty steak knife. He hoped she'd somehow get an infection from the wound.

    "Talking's a free action, I'll say as much as I like!" Roy replied, feeling only slightly less angry than the now rabidly snarling Miko. He feinted low and then punched her in the mouth with his off hand, being sure to rake his fist over her wounded cheek. She stumbled back. "You're an arrogant bitch who's so out of touch with reality that it makes more sense to you that I somehow tricked the gods themselves into letting me play on their mountain rather than that I'm one of the good guys."

    Miko charged wildly, swinging her blade overhead. Roy sidestepped, letting her run past, and gave her a wicked cut on her side for her trouble. "Try not to power attack for your entire base attack bonus next time." He growled. He expected another wild attack, but apparently some part of what he was saying was penetrating the thick wall of rage and pride that cut off the logic centers of Miko's brain. She was crouched low in a battle stance, clutching at the wound on her side with her free hand. She advanced on him cautiously.

    Roy looked at his opponent. Maybe, just this once, he could talk his way through an encounter with Miko. If he was wrong, well, he still had a bunch of hit points left. He reversed his grip on the knife and slammed it into a table over another protest from Pete. Miko blinked at him in shock, hovering just out of his melee range, perhaps suspecting a trap. "You know what, Miko?" He said, letting go of his anger. "I'm done. I'm not playing your game any more. I didn't like butting heads with you in life and I like it even less in death. So go ahead. Arrest me or whatever it is you plan to do. Take me to your authorities so we can get this stupid business sorted out and I can go back to visiting my mom and my little brother."

    Miko's eyes flickered over his face. "This is a trick." She said, sounding just the slightest bit unsure of herself.

    "I don't care what you think. You've been nothing but wrong since we've met, and I finally see that there's no way I can convince you that I'm on the side of good. So I'm done having these schoolyard fights with you. Call the teacher. I don't care anymore." Very pointedly, Roy pulled out a chair and sat in it, folding his arms.

    Miko's eyes flickered to her blade and then back to her defenseless opponent.

    Roy rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, do it. Say you're on the side of justice and stab an unarmed man who's cooperating with you. Make yourself a hypocrite again."

    Surprisingly, Miko chuckled. "Ah, I see what you're doing here, Greenhilt. This is all just another trick. You want me to lose my temper. You want me to stab you. I bet the bartender was in on it! It was all just an elaborate ruse!"

    "Yes Miko, you've figured me out! I enjoy being run-through! How will I ever live out my masochistic fantasies now?"

    "What's your game, Greenhilt? What does getting me to stab you accomplish for you?"

    Roy practically groaned. "Nothing, you idiot! It'd get me dead! Again! Somehow! I-I-gah!" He trailed off into a number of choked, angry sounds, wringing his hands. "Were you always like this, or did they just forget to remove the stick from your ass along with the rest of your Paladin features?!"

    Roy was not prepared for what happened next. Miko recoiled as if struck, dropping her weapon with a clatter. If he hadn't been stunned into motionlessness, he probably would have used that moment to get the sword away from her. Next, he watched as her face twisted into a horrible mask of grief and pain, and finally, she fell to her knees, pressing both hands over her face.

    Roy would have laughed at anyone who told him a tale as outlandish as the scene that was playing out before him now. It was something he had never expected to see in either life or death. Miko Miyazaki was crying.


    And I managed to end on another cliffhanger. So, what do we think? I'm not sure how good I am at writing action sequences, especially with dialogue mixed in. I hope it flows alright.
    Wow. Very good. Again, this is the sort of thing that I could have seen happening in the comic(though you need to give Roy something else to call his Archon, that part seems stilted).

    I do think you need to work on the action scenes a bit. You seem to have wanted to have Roy starting off unarmed and cornered, and to gain the upper hand through use of his environment and by arguing with Miko. He does better as she gets madder sort of a thing, correct? The pacing seems right, but the action doesn't convey that. It's hard for me to follow who's getting injured and how badly.

    Edit: why is it that I have a lot of praise and one minor complaint, but the complaint is twice as large?
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  27. - Top - End - #207
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Levels are 1-20. V and the party are about 15 now. His master we think is ~17. Xykon is 27+, and no, that's not a typo.

    15: The laws of reality have been broken
    17: The laws of reality are crying in a corner
    27: The laws of reality are currently suffering from Evan's Spiked Tentacles

    That said, the above applies to well-built casters, which no one in the comic is. V is learning to apply hir might more effectively, but as-is, it's more, Xykon can wipe out armies of 12th level characters, Aandi can wipe out groups of 15th level characters, and V can wipe out groups of 12th level characters.

    Edit: For reference, 5th level is when PCs can start preforming beyond human capability with minimal investment and no spellcasting.
    thanks man!
    one question tho: why did you put V and xykon on the same level (both can wipe out armies of 12th level cars?)

    edit NVM got it
    Last edited by DarkElfGangsta; 2009-12-08 at 12:49 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #208
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Sstoopidtallkid View Post
    Wow. Very good. Again, this is the sort of thing that I could have seen happening in the comic(though you need to give Roy something else to call his Archon, that part seems stilted).

    I do think you need to work on the action scenes a bit. You seem to have wanted to have Roy starting off unarmed and cornered, and to gain the upper hand through use of his environment and by arguing with Miko. He does better as she gets madder sort of a thing, correct? The pacing seems right, but the action doesn't convey that. It's hard for me to follow who's getting injured and how badly.

    Edit: why is it that I have a lot of praise and one minor complaint, but the complaint is twice as large?
    Mm, yes and no to the "he does better as she gets madder" thing. They're both strong warriors, and Miko has been shown to be able to fight well even when she's mad, so it'd be silly for Roy to beat her with a non-magical knife just because she was angry. Neither of them ended up particularly injured during the fight. Roy was taking total defense actions at the beginning, and Miko's damage output dropped dramatically once she lost her main weapon.

    Mechanical examination of the fight:

    Spoiler
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    At the start of the fight, Roy is using the chair as an improvised shield and taking total defense actions, boosting his AC. Miko only scores one hit on him with the katana during this time. She isn't power attacking yet.

    Roy circles her, but doesn't account for the position of the bar, thinking he has the whole room to use to maneuver. Seeing him trapped, Miko charges and power attacks for the entirety of her Base Attack Bonus, which allows Roy to do his "drop and roll" maneuver. I'm playing somewhat fast and loose with the D&D rules, yes. I'd imagine some feat combination that Roy probably doesn't have would replicate that sequence, though.

    Next, when Miko's sword get stuck in the bar, Roy power attacks her with the chair for a decent amount, but probably not his full attack bonus. He wanted to hit her with a chair because he thought it was funny. He takes a moment to congratulate himself and turns away. Miko attacks with her short sword, power attacking while he's flat footed. This is where he gets the gash on his side, the only major wound he receives in the fight.

    At this point he has no weapon and again starts taking total defense actions. He puts a table between the two of them, first using it as cover, then backing away from it. Miko vaults over it with a jump check.

    Roy makes two improvised thrown attacks, one with a mug and one with a chair. Both miss (represented by her dodging one and kicking the other while it's in mid-flight).

    Miko finally makes Roy mad here, and he grabs a steak knife. They start really fighting here for a round or two, trading a few hits (Roy gets two gashes and cuts Miko's face). Miko eventually gets angry enough that she throws everything she has into another charging power attack, apparently not having learned that Roy's AC is rather high. He hits her instead, as her AC dropped from charging.

    The fight pretty much ends at this point. They're both high level, and neither of them is fighting with a main weapon, so they haven't taken a considerable amount of damage.


    I'll work on getting the amount of description right, though. I really don't want to over-describe what's happening, because that can make an action sequence seem really boring, and I wouldn't want that. I'd rather have the reader filling in a few blanks and be entertained than get a blow-by-blow account and be bored.

    Rest assured this won't be the last action sequence. I'll try to add some more description next time and see how it goes.

    Edit: Oh, and thanks for the compliments! I understand that criticism sometimes has to be more in depth
    Last edited by Dark_Stryke; 2009-12-08 at 01:08 AM.

  29. - Top - End - #209
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Yes. Yes, I am going to take what little money I have out of my bank account (Because I don't have a job yet and I'm saving my bat mitzvah money for college), fly to Sweden against my parents' will despite the fact that I'm not yet a legal adult, and enter a tryst with a guy ten years older than me who I met on the internet, and I don't even know his name.
    This is verging on a threadjack, but I cannot let that stand. You misunderstood me, misrepresented me, and forgot the premise.

    1) the premise was that you would be 10 years older. I assume 26 is legal age in the U.S. (I would still be ten years older - I'm 36 - but 25-ish is my lower age limit.)

    2) I was actually planning to come to the U.S. Needless to say, I wouldn't do that without having a little more info then I have.

    3) It's getting a little creepy talking to a 16-year old about this, so let me state this in general: if I found the Girl of My Dreams (and yes, she would probably have to be between 25 and 45) I wouldn't consider it a great sacrifice to pick up my tent poles and move to wherever she was. I should probably avoid the near-equatorial zones, though - my brain shuts down when the temperature approaches 80 degrees (Fahrenheit).

    All clear? Or are you going to call ECPAT?
    Last edited by Asta Kask; 2009-12-08 at 03:51 AM.
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  30. - Top - End - #210
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    This is verging on a threadjack, but I cannot let that stand. You misunderstood me, misrepresented me, and forgot the premise.
    I thought she was joking. But then again, what I think is often wrong.

    PS: Dark Stryke, great chapter and nice references. It really meshes well with the comic's style.

    PPS: What did everyone think of V and Playelf? Should I keep doing pictures in Flash?

    PPPS: I get the feeling he was half-joking too...

    PPPPS: I feel like Gandalf.
    Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-12-08 at 09:32 AM.

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    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

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