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  1. - Top - End - #241
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Silverraptor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Welcome Kill Screen!

    If your looking around for past stories, people say my Inkyrius one is a classic for some reason.
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-12-09 at 12:27 AM.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2 Part 28

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  2. - Top - End - #242
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    What reason did Xykon have for not doing as he threatened in the comic and just giving the Dark One's red-cloak to a random hobgoblin? Or did he attempt that and failed to control the "new guy"?
    Actually come to think of it, I can't remember if it was mentioned if Redcloak even has that artifact anymore. Luckily for him I'm guessing that his age wouldn't retroactively be applied. Poor fellow would probably die of old age on the spot.
    Crackers don't matter.

  3. - Top - End - #243
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut Gallery View Post
    What reason did Xykon have for not doing as he threatened in the comic and just giving the Dark One's red-cloak to a random hobgoblin? Or did he attempt that and failed to control the "new guy"?
    Actually come to think of it, I can't remember if it was mentioned if Redcloak even has that artifact anymore. Luckily for him I'm guessing that his age wouldn't retroactively be applied. Poor fellow would probably die of old age on the spot.


    This post confuses me on multiple levels. Let me try to decipher it quickly before I'm shunted off to bed.

    1) Redcloak does have the artifact. That is why he is called "Redcloak" Crimson Mantel: Redcloak. See the reference?
    2) I would suspect is the reason of.
    a) The guy is currently dead and needs to be raised before said artifact will work.
    b) Redcloak is the strongest of all the other clerics in the immediate area and serves best under implementing "The Plan" as described in SoD why he is important.

    Now I hope I covered everything.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  4. - Top - End - #244
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Kill Screen View Post
    I liked it, it was very well written--of course, RoyxMiko is one of my base ships...
    Except I like VxMiko better, but hey, everyone's got their prefrences.
    XD So yeah--I might put a bit of my main ship Oh noes, self promotion, Kill Screen, you really don't mean you're going to put...BelkarxHaley on here, because no one else did? Yes, yes it does. *shot for her self-promotion* So yeah. XD
    Thanks much. I'd say go ahead and write your story. You don't have to be the next Tolkien for us to get some enjoyment out of it.

    That said, it's time for...

    Chapter 3: A Start (Now with 90% more bold font in the title*)

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    Roy suddenly found himself at a loss for what to do. He stared at Miko, dumbfounded, mouth hanging open in shock. Slowly, painstakingly, he peeled his eyes from the crying woman and turned his head towards Smilin' Pete. The kindhearted proprietor seemed equally at a loss, and spread his arms in a gesture of helplessness when his gaze met Roy's.

    Roy sighed and climbed to his feet. "I suppose you expect me to fix this?" He grumbled, gesturing dismissively towards Miko.

    Pete coughed a little nervously. "Weellll, it'd be nice of you not to leave a girl crying on my floor after completely trashing my bar."

    "It would be the good thing to do." Roy's Archon added dryly.

    Roy let out another long-suffering sigh. "Fine. But I'm writing a complaint to whoever's in charge. My version of paradise does not include Miko Miyazaki." With that, he took three quick strides to the still prone and weeping woman and very pointedly kicked her short sword away from her. He cleared his throat. "Hey, Miko, knock it off. Your whining is completely killing the atmosphere here."

    His remark simply redoubled the force of her bawling. "L-leave me alone, G-Greenhilt," She sobbed. "Y-you've already h-hurt me enough."

    Remembering how her sword cleaved through Lord Shojo, Roy was having a hard time drumming up any sympathy. "Yeah, well, the bartender wants you out, and he thinks I owe it to him to do it. So don't make me drag your ass out of here."

    "Why must you continue to torture me so?!" Miko wailed, punctuating it by slamming a fist onto the ground and splintering a floorboard. "You are worse than your despicable halfling!"

    The reply took Roy aback. He suddenly realized what he was doing. Here was a person who, for whatever reason, was now at her worst. Instead of being the grownup he claimed to be, he had continued to needle her, and why? Because she was Miko, and he hated her? How petty could he get? Not thirty seconds ago he had declared that he was done playing games with her, but as soon as he saw an opening he just went right back to clawing at her. She had just compared him unfavorably to Belkar. "Oh my Gods, I'm turning into some horrible cross between Belkar and my father." He breathed, aghast. He had to do something about this.

    "Miko, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. I'm behaving worse than Belkar." His only response was more wracking sobs. "In fact, I think I owe you an apology." She let out a startled sniffle, continuing to cry. "I'm sorry for doing this to you. Let me fix it." He offered her his hand as he spoke.

    Miko spread her fingers slightly and glared at him through red-rimmed eyes. He could see tearstains covering her cheeks. She sniffled again.

    "Come on, Miko, I'm trying to trust you here, but that has to go both ways. Will you admit that you didn't trust me enough to take my hand after I trusted you enough to offer it?" He asked, extending his hand just a little closer to her. A part of him hoped she would simply spurn his attempts to make amends, so he could just walk away secure in the knowledge that he had at least tried to be the bigger person.

    To his disappointment, Miko simply sniffled loudly and grabbed his hand. He helped her get to her feet, and she quickly let go of his hand as if burned. "There." He said, trying to force a smile but not nearly managing to pull it off.

    Miko wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve in a decidedly undignified manner. "So what happens now?" She asked sullenly.

    Roy bit his lip, nervously scratching the back of his head. "To be honest, I hadn't thought this far ahead yet."

    "How about a table and some drinks?" Pete interjected. "You two look like you have a lot to talk about."

    "I..." Roy glanced at Miko, who glanced back at Roy. He couldn't say no. That would make him look like a hypocrite. He realized that she couldn't say no either, because that would make her look like she was too weak to take the high road, at least in her own mind. Roy had to force the next words through his teeth. "Yes... Pete, that sounds... wonderful. Miko?"

    "Of course, Greenhilt. I would be... hon - no - deli - er - I'd like to stay." Miko replied, stumbling lamely over her words.

    "Great. Everything is great." Roy said, mentally kicking himself. Why did he have to be the bigger person? Why did the barkeep have to open his mouth? "How about we sit at this table?" He gestured at one that had remained relatively untouched throughout the fight. Miko nodded at him, and he walked over to it, feet dragging. At the last second he remembered he was supposed to be a gentleman and pulled out Miko's chair for her.

    Miko stared at the offered chair as if it might leap up and bite her, eyes flickering wildly from the chair to Roy. Eventually, she seemed to come to a decision and sat in the chair as carefully and slowly as she could manage, as if she were afraid that Roy was going to yank it out from under her at the last second. It was a fair precaution. Roy had been sorely tempted to do it.

    Roy walked around the table and sat in the chair opposite of Miko. She was staring rather pointedly at her hands, blinking away the last of her tears. Roy swallowed, unsure of what to say or do next. Fortunately, Pete came to the rescue. "Mr. Greenhilt? What will you be drinking this evening?" The barkeep called, his cheerful voice sounding the slightest bit forced.

    "Ah, Dwarven Ale, please." Roy called back.

    "Of course. And for the lady?"

    "S-sake." Miko answered.

    In short order Pete had produced a foaming tankard for Roy, and a wine glass full of clear liquid for Miko. Roy took a long gulp of the brew as Pete scurried off behind the bar and through a door, trying to stave off talking for as long as possible. As he set the drink down, Miko picked hers up, apparently trying not to be the first one to talk. She took a dainty sip and blanched. "Ugh, that is foul." She said. "The barkeep must have screwed up again."

    Roy reached over for her glass. "Mind if I try?" He asked, trying to maintain at least a veneer of courtesy. She shrugged and offered it to him. He took a quick sip of the bitter rice alcohol. He set the glass down, shrugged, and slid the drink back across the table to Miko. "Tastes like sake. Really dry, kind of bitter. What's wrong with it?"

    Miko's eyes flashed dangerously. "What is wrong with it?" She asked incredulously. "It is Azure City's national drink! It cannot taste like that! It is an affront to my beloved homeland!"

    Roy looked back at her quizzically. "Well, it's not my favorite or anything, but you Azurites seem to suck it down pretty fast. But this stuff tastes just like all the other sake I've drank, so I don't see what you find wrong with it."

    Roy saw red creeping up Miko's neck and into her cheeks. He feared that she might be nearing another explosion. "I - you - you're wrong, Greenhilt!" She declared indignantly. "It's - that is to say, there is something wrong with it. Your palette is simply not refined enough to understand the nuances of this... beverage." She folded her arms and turned her head away from him.

    Roy's eyes narrowed as suspicion began tickling in the back of his head. "Now hold on just a second." He said. "You thought Sake came from a barrel. From your actions, it seems like you didn't even know what it was supposed to taste like. Which makes me wonder... You've never even had sake before in your life, have you?"

    Miko turned her eyes briefly back to Roy, keeping her head facing away. "That's ridiculous." She declared.

    Roy burst into laughter. "I knew it! You're not flushing in anger, you're blushing! You've never drank sake in your life! You just thought it would taste better, and clearly you couldn't dislike your national drink, so it there must be something wrong with the freakin' heavenly batch!" He broke down into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

    "This is not funny, Greenhilt!" Miko declared, full of wounded pride.

    Roy snorted, trying to contain his giggles. "No, no, you see, this right here? This whole situation? This is precisely the kind of thing you do that gets you into trouble. It's like it doesn't even occur to you that you could have a flaw, so there must be something wrong with the universe at large."

    "Disliking sake is not a flaw!" Miko declared vehemently. Suddenly, she realized what she had just said and her hands flew to cover her mouth.

    Roy continued to fight with the last tremors of his earthshaking laughter. "No, you're absolutely right. So you don't like your national drink. So what? It doesn't somehow make you less of an Azurite."

    Miko slowly lowered he hands, blinking as if she were having an epiphany. "I... do not like sake." She declared almost reverently.

    "You don't have to. There's plenty of stuff from my homeland that I don't like." Roy said encouragingly. "I mean look, I'm drinking a dwarven ale. My country didn't come up with that."

    Slowly, Miko pushed her glass away. "Barkeep!" She called. Smilin' Pete dutifully appeared behind the bar a few moments later. "Bring me something else. I do not like sake!" She declared.

    Seeing Pete's confusion, Roy stepped in. "Just roll with it. Grab her something sweet, I don't think she's much of a drinker."

    "Elven Strawberry Wine coming right up!" Pete said, disappearing through another door into what Roy assumed was a pantry.

    As they sat in silence, Roy thought about his situation. So maybe making Miko realize that she didn't like her national drink was a far cry from making her realize that she didn't have to be the ridiculous caricature of a paladin she thought she had to be. Maybe it was still to much to hope that she'd apologize to either the barkeep or him for her previous behavior. But it was a start. And maybe that was worth putting up with her for just a bit longer.


    Too tired to even proofread. Probably full of errors. Need... sleep... Everyone let me know what you thought of it.

    *Amount of bold font may be more or less than 90%. Actual percentage not guaranteed. Offer void in Quebec and Hawaii.

  5. - Top - End - #245
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Lots of stuff has happened since last I've read the goings-on in this thread. Too much, in fact for commenting on everything, so I think I'll just go with: Keep up the good level of work, all you writers and drawers. (I think it's painfully obvious that I delegate motivational team-talks to my assistant in Football Manager )

    I've just bought the newest "Dragonomicon" for the 4th Edition. I now have an overpowering urge to write of the forbidden love between a mithral- and an adamantine dragon.

    Yes, those are detailed in said book.

    Which I bought at full price.

    ...

    Just someone shoot me. Please.

  6. - Top - End - #246
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Monzach View Post
    Just someone shoot me. Please.
    *loads up tranquilizer gun with love-potion darts*

    Hold still. You might feel a slight irresistible urge to write crack fic....
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    *loads up tranquilizer gun with love-potion darts*

    Hold still. You might feel a slight irresistible urge to write crack fic....
    *takes away potion* No more, Zanaril. It's not healthy, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some places. Unless you white-text it. Then there's no way I could know.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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  8. - Top - End - #248
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Monzach View Post
    I've just bought the newest "Dragonomicon" for the 4th Edition. I now have an overpowering urge to write of the forbidden love between a mithral- and an adamantine dragon.

    Yes, those are detailed in said book.

    Which I bought at full price.

    ...

    Just someone shoot me. Please.
    I can do ya 1 better. I once bought a Steampunk novel by a new author. Not great, but it was interesting most of the way through. Then, about 2/3rds of the way in, it turns into furry porn. I essentially paid to read about a priest and an ewok getting it on. The shame has never quite gone away.
    [/sarcasm]
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    *takes away potion* No more, Zanaril. It's not healthy, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some places. Unless you white-text it. Then there's no way I could know.
    I trusted you! You were my friend! You promised that together we would rule this thread! *runs away crying*
    *returns and back-stabs Fiddler with love-potion dart*
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I trusted you! You were my friend! You promised that together we would rule this thread! *runs away crying*
    Huh, I don't remem...ber.... that...

    I feel light-headed...
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  11. - Top - End - #251
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Huh, I don't remem...ber.... that...

    I feel light-headed...
    Well you were extremely drunk at the time.

    Good job I got you to sign that contract in blood.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Monzach View Post
    Yes, those are detailed in said book.

    Which I bought at full price.

    ...

    Just someone shoot me. Please.
    There, there. It's not like you bought a copy of F.A.T.A.L. or anything. There's an RPG too horrible for this thread...
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Aach...Brain...dying...need...help....too...much.. .to handle...

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Well you were extremely drunk at the time.
    You know, I can't help but feel that we're drifting off into another thread's territory.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-12-09 at 06:13 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    You know, I can't help but feel that we're drifting off into another thread's territory.
    Good point, we're losing momentum. Is it exam season or something?
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Good point, we're losing momentum. Is it exam season or something?
    That and there aren't any new comics. Changes to the Canon situation help spark my creative juices.
    [/sarcasm]
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Good point, we're losing momentum. Is it exam season or something?
    I know that college finals are coming up soon. As for high school...

    Today: History test
    Tomorrow: Math test
    Friday: English test
    Monday: Latin test
    Tuesday: Physics test

    ...And that's not counting the quizzes.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I see. My first A-S level exams are all in January.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Here's some ideas for the insane folk of Crack Pairings:

    (Xykon + Sarah Greenhilt + Lord Kubota) + Tsukiko

    Stuck on a desert island

    (Lord Shojo + Lord Shojo) + The chimera

    Love/hate relationship

    Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Mr Scruffy

    Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)

    All of the Demon Roaches at once + (The Snarl + ((Bone golem Roy + Elan) + Leeky Windstaff))

    Everyone is a furry version of themselves



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    Last edited by Gamerlord; 2009-12-09 at 06:43 PM.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Yeah, I don't know about anyone else, but my college just had finals a few days ago and atleast one is still tomorrow. After all of that I'll have a nice couple of weeks during which I want to try to get back into this thread.
    Doliest's crimes against good taste
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    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

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    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Good point, we're losing momentum. Is it exam season or something?
    Sadly, it is. The semester finals are coming with a vengeance. (what? no cookies this year?)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    I see. My first A-S level exams are all in January.
    You are soooo lucky.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    You are soooo lucky.
    Why? It means I have to spend all Christmas revising.

    Although it is nice that I only have three subjects to learn for, since my fourth one is art (which obviously works slightly differently ).

    Darn, going off-topic again...
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-09 at 06:53 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    If I know my cracked-pairings thread; and I hope I do, then we're NEVER off topic.
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    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

    Also a Michael Bay fan.

    Likes Jar Jar

    Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.



    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

  24. - Top - End - #264

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    All right, I've been putting this off for long enough. I suppose only the winner gets a prize, but anyway...

    Contest Tiem!

    Ah, December, the official "Every Region, Culture, Religion, and their mom has a holiday to celebrate" time of the year. So why should that only apply to our Earthly world?

    The Challenge? Bring some holiday spirit to our favorite stick figures, while still bringing the love. Maybe you want to explain the meaning of Christmas like every show has done since the history of forever, or maybe you want a thinly veiled parody of all the holidays at once (just don't get religious!). Whatever it is, have fun doing it.

    You'll have until December 20th to submit your entries, stories, pictures, banners, etc. will all be judged together. The winner will be announced shortly after, perhaps coinciding with a holiday.

    Judges are me, and Zanaril if she still wants to. Winner gets to rewrite the OP. Everyone else gets a pat on the back.

    Sorry for the short notice, guys. I'm sure you all work best when you're under pressure though.


    Hopefully this will get the creative juices flowing again.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    ....I think I just found my muse. Time to bring the love TO CHRISTMASSSS!
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    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

    Also a Michael Bay fan.

    Likes Jar Jar

    Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.



    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

  26. - Top - End - #266
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    England

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Judges are me, and Zanaril if she still wants to.
    Yep, I do still want to. It turns out that 'love' potion I bought was just contraband mooshine whisky. So yeah.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  27. - Top - End - #267
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGirl

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Level 256 of Pac-Man :)
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Cool--even though I'm new, I think I'll enter this contest :)
    *gets to work on her story*
    By the wayyyy, there can be up to 12 chapters, right? XD *planning*

  28. - Top - End - #268

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Good, good. But... I thought we had something special! :'(
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  29. - Top - End - #269
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    doliest's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    ????
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Okay I got my pairing together; V X Darius, this is going to be the most narmy, yet squick filled thing I've ever written.
    Doliest's crimes against good taste
    Spoiler
    Show


    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

    Also a Michael Bay fan.

    Likes Jar Jar

    Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.



    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

  30. - Top - End - #270
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    New York
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I've got one for the holiday pics:

    Young Haley/Hanukkah gelt (Chocolate coins).

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