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  1. - Top - End - #571
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...IDEA!
    Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen?

    ...Or at least very Squick-inducing?
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

  2. - Top - End - #572
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    ...IDEA!
    As long as it involves V, I don't care what you write.


    And I only just noticed that V and Aandy have an almost identical colour scheme. At least it means I don't need to use so many different colours.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  3. - Top - End - #573
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Vaarsuvius/Durkon!

    Note: I deliberately ignored Durkon's accent here. I didn't feel like putting it in this time. I may edit it later though.

    And if you could, could you check out my OOTS fancomic? http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133565

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    "V, are you okay? You've been huddled in the same spot for the past ten hours. Roy did not act like this when he was resurrected."

    Vaarsuvius was still huddled in a fetal position, the horrors of the Lower Planes still firmly engraved in hir mind. The elf shook hir head. "...I am okay, Durkon. Please leave me be."

    "No, Vaarsuvius. You're in no state to be left alone right now. ...I must ask. What happened to your soul when you died to traumatize you so badly? The Neutral afterlife can't be that bad, unless..." Durkon's eyes grew wide with horrified realization. "Vaarsuvius...Don't tell me that..."

    V looked up at Durkon. "...Your suspicions are correct. My soul awoke in the Lower Planes."

    "...But...Vaarsuvius...You are not evil..." Durkon placed a hand on V's shoulder, somewhat shaken when the elf did not brush it off. "...Did the...Events on the ship and afterwards change your alignment so drastically? Vaarsuvius, what happened after you left the ship?"

    V squeezed hir eyes shut and winced as though struck. "Please! Do not remind me of what I have done! Shattered, shattered, what have I done...Naught but wrath and fury, and I have been damned for it...I have repented, but will the gods not acknowledge my atonement?"

    Durkon smiled as he got an idea. "Atonement. That's it! Vaarsuvius...I do not know exactly what you have done, but are you truly repentant?"

    Vaarsuvius glared at Durkon. "I am an elf of my word. You know as well as I that I do not lie."

    Durkon nodded. "There is a spell, Atonement. I will be able to have Thor intercede on your behalf."

    "...You are able to do that?" Vaarsuvius fell to hir knees. "Please! Cast the spell, I beseech you!"

    Durkon started. For Vaarsuvius to act like this... "I'll start the casting now. Just let me find the components...Where's the focus...Oh." Durkon read over the requirements needed for Thor to intercede on V's behalf. About halfway down the list he dropped the parchment with a little whimper, his face turning an odd shade.

    "Durkon? What is the matter?"

    "Vaarsuvius...The...Focus needed..." Durkon showed V the paragraph in question. V yelped and jumped back. No way was the elf doing that! Yet...The Lower Planes...

    "Durkon...What would be in store for me otherwise is so much worse...Just cast the spell regardless."

    "...Sorry."

    ===
    In the Upper Planes, Thor and Loki were observing the ensuing scene with increasing attention and amusement.

    "Ha! See? SEE? I told you that requirement would be perfect!"

    "Yes Thor, you were right. Now scoot over a bit so I can get a closer look at the elf."

    "Awww, yeah."


    ...Well?
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-12-19 at 10:45 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #574
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Hi! Just here to say I've lurked on-and-off here for the past few weeks and that drawing of V and Aandy is adorable!

    ...and has Julia Greenhilt/Thog been done already? Or at least not been done recently? Because I rolled that with "love potion" as the plot device and already wrote a little...

  5. - Top - End - #575
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by ShinyDelusion View Post
    Hi! Just here to say I've lurked on-and-off here for the past few weeks and that drawing of V and Aandy is adorable!

    ...and has Julia Greenhilt/Thog been done already? Or at least not been done recently? Because I rolled that with "love potion" as the plot device and already wrote a little...
    Post away. Even if it's been done before, any story/art is welcome.

    @Coffee:
    Last edited by Meg; 2009-12-19 at 03:47 PM.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  6. - Top - End - #576
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Vaarsuvius/Durkon!
    ...Well?
    They were just waiting for an excuse.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  7. - Top - End - #577
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    You like it?

    (Do you like my comic?)

  8. - Top - End - #578
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Ok, someone drawing the pairing for this Haley?

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    If the pair is not set for tomorrow, I'll do it, now I must go! ciao

  9. - Top - End - #579
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    You like it?
    It could have done with a bit more traumatized!V, but it was certainly funny.

    (Do you like my comic?)
    Yep!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blas_de_Lezo View Post
    Ok, someone drawing the pairing for this Haley?
    Welcome to the Crack Pairings Thread!

    Story index is by the door, bathroom is out to the right. Brain bleach is in the cuboard under the stairs, but you'll have to brush the cobwebs off first.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-19 at 04:35 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  10. - Top - End - #580
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Uh, what do you like about it?

  11. - Top - End - #581
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Uh, what do you like about it?
    You wrote a traumatized V very well.
    .
    .
    .Also it was rather funny.
    Last edited by doliest; 2009-12-19 at 04:47 PM.
    Doliest's crimes against good taste
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    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

    Also a Michael Bay fan.

    Likes Jar Jar

    Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.



    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

  12. - Top - End - #582
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Nice VxDurkon, Coffee; I can almost sort of see it happening, though if it did I'd probably be too busy whining about V dying to notice. I like your comic too!

    I had it handwritten, so I had to type it all out and edit it real quick, but here's what I have so far of my Julia/Thog Love Potion thing:

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    When Nale thought back on the whole sordid affair, in search of someone to blame for the incident, he first examined his own actions and decided quickly and firmly that from the start he’d only done his best to mitigate the situation and alas, been doomed to fail.

    Safe in the knowledge of his own innocence, Nale eventually decided that some blame was due to every other member of the Linear Guild and even Greenhilt’s brat of a sister, but most of the blame undeniably should be on that half-pointy little twit, Pompey.

    Yes, indeed it was, in fact, quite easy to pinpoint the exact beginning of the incident, and it had started with the half-elf all but skipping along through that abandoned warehouse, wearing that infuriatingly smug little smile…

    ---

    “What are you so giddy about?” Nale asked the kid gruffly. Sabine had been out buying up sending spells all day, so he was bored and in a bad mood.

    “Nothing,” the half-elf replied, contriving to look like an innocently sullen adolescent.

    “Yeah right,” said Nale, “You were going to go harass the Greenhilt brat some more, weren’t you?”

    “You could say that…” said Pompey evasively, fidgeting with something he was hiding behind his back.

    “Hand it over, kid,” said Nale irritably, holding out his hand.

    Gritting his teeth, Pompey began to ask “Wha--”

    “Whatever you’re holding behind your back,” said Nale impatiently, looking as if he would soon launch into a rant about how the party didn’t really need a wizard and all things considered, he was looking at a pretty cheap evil counter—

    “Fine…” Pompey grumbled, dropping a glass bottle into Nale’s hand.

    “Insta-Lust,” Nale read the label on the bottle aloud, “Is this a love potion?”

    “No,” said Pompey, pointing at the operative word on the label.

    “Fair enough,” said Nale, turning the bottle over to read the back, squinting at the small print, “Side effects may include dizziness, sometimes resulting in fainting, drymouth, nausea…”

    -several minutes later-

    “…and in rare cases, tuberculosis?

    Pompey shrugged.

    “Some degree of hilarity may ensue,” Nale read on, “If this condition persists or worsens over the course of more than forty-eight hours, contact a cleric immediately.”

    “It’s not like I’m going to be taking it,” said Pompey.

    “Directions: Sprinkle in subject’s eyes while she or he is asleep. When she or he awakens, the first person she or he sees—wait a minute, isn’t that kind of like the love potion from--”

    “You’re going to complain about that after killing ’Harry Gardner’ last week?” Pompey asked.

    “Good point,” Nale conceded, “So, you were going to use this possibly dangerous potion on the protagonist’s defenseless little sister just so you could fulfill your own depraved desires?”

    “Uh… duh?” said Pompey.

    “I regret hiring you less with every day you work with us,” said Nale with a smile, handing the bottle back to Pompey, “Have fun, but don’t untie her. If she escapes because of this--”

    “Okay,” Pompey replied with a devilish grin. He hurried off.

    “I might eventually come to like that kid,” Nale told himself, “But semi-romantic hilarity ensuing with the villainous team’s newest member and the protagonist’s attractive relative at the center of it all does not bode well for me…” It was that reason, obviously, and not an insatiable longing to take the half-elven know-it-all down a peg without endangering the Linear Guild’s mission or the fact that it had been forever since Nale had seen a good romantic comedy but he knew the potential for one when he saw it, that motivated Nale’s next actions.

    ---

    “For best results, wait five minutes or more before awakening the subject,” Pompey quietly read the label to himself while sprinkling a few drops onto Julia’s eyes. “Five minutes? I guess I can wait… Gods, what does he want?” he added with a groan when he looked up to see that stupid half-orc lumber into the area.

    “Nale say you must count sending spells before ‘getting on with business’,” Thog told Pompey.

    “Sh!” Pompey hissed, relieved that Julia hadn’t woken up. “What, again?" he whispered, "I just counted them two days ago!”

    “Nale buy more yesterday,” Thog grumbled, “Nale want ‘up-date-ed in-vent-or-y’.”

    “Why doesn’t he make you do--” Pompey began to ask, before shaking his head, “Because we have more than six, now. Fine, I’ll do it.” He stalked off in a huff.

    Thog followed his instructions and carefully waited until Pompey was out of sight before leaning over Julia and declaring loudly, “Nale tell Thog wake you up!”

    ---

    “Honey!” Sabine called from the doorway of the warehouse, “I got five more--”

    “NALE! THOG NEED ANOTHER COOTIE SHOT!” Thog wailed, running straight past her with tears streaming from his eyes.

    “I hope this isn’t more ‘hilarity’,” Sabine muttered, closing the door behind her.



    Comments? Criticism? Opinions on whether or not it's worth continuing?

  13. - Top - End - #583
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    "And in rare cases tuberculosis?!

  14. - Top - End - #584
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I remember hearing it in a commercial once and thinking Seriously?

  15. - Top - End - #585
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by ShinyDelusion View Post
    I remember hearing it in a commercial once and thinking Seriously?
    I now must know which commercial.

    And what do you like about my comic?

  16. - Top - End - #586
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    I drop out for a few days. finals and all that, y'know. And I come back to... to... I don't even know how many pages. I think more than half this thread spawned in my absence. I need to stop dissappearing... Its bad for my sanity.


    Soooo... What did I miss in my week away from ya'll?



    Edit: A Coffee, that's an awesome avatar. Who did it?
    Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-12-19 at 05:28 PM.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  17. - Top - End - #587
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I now must know which commercial.

    And what do you like about my comic?

    If I could remember, I'd tell you, but alas there are so many commercials for medicines with ridiculously long lists of increasingly surprising side effects...

    I like the similarities in style between it and OOTS, and I also like the way that it's about a party first starting out and has that "anything can and will happen" feel for the moment.
    Last edited by ShinyDelusion; 2009-12-19 at 05:34 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #588
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Bunch of crack pairings, I started a OOTS-style comic on the webcomic boards, and CHECK THIS OUT: (Where I got my avatar from)
    http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=134764

    And thanks, ShinyDelusion.
    Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-12-19 at 05:34 PM.

  19. - Top - End - #589
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Soooo... What did I miss in my week away from ya'll?
    Someone tried to ship me with Cthuhlu Chtulhu. And with Miko.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-19 at 06:05 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  20. - Top - End - #590
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    Someone tried to ship me with Cthuhlu. And with Miko.
    You say that as if we weren't doing you favors. It could have been worse.
    Doliest's crimes against good taste
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    An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

    Also a Michael Bay fan.

    Likes Jar Jar

    Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.



    Let's Playing Final Fantasy with extreme prejudice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Forgive me, Mr Tolkien. You do not deserve what I now do to you.

  21. - Top - End - #591
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    A webcomic you say? *checks out manga thing* WOW!!


    I'm sorry, did you say Cthulhu?
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  22. - Top - End - #592
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by doliest View Post
    You say that as if we weren't doing you favors. It could have been worse.
    What makes you think I was complaining?


    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    I'm sorry, did you say Cthulhu?
    Or some variation on that spelling.

    Ah, here we go:
    Quote Originally Posted by Closak View Post
    *Ships Zanaril with Chtulhu*
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-12-19 at 06:06 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  23. - Top - End - #593
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    C-thul-hu. KA-THOO-LOO, if anyone wants to know the (easiest) way to pronounce it.


    Sooo... Who wants to see the tweaked version of Chapter 5 of V x Cain? I'm fixin' to start workin' on it, and it doesn't look as bad as I remember. I'll just change some lines, add more details, and use better descriptions... Hopefully it'll make a difference.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  24. - Top - End - #594
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Yes, please!

  25. - Top - End - #595
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    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Thoughts?

    (And am I the only one who wants to tear Xykon's head off?)
    ...




    I want to smash Redcloak's Holy symbol and grind Xykon's whole body into fine powder!!!
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    I want to smash Redcloak's Holy symbol and grind Xykon's whole body into fine powder!!!
    Though not necessarily in that order.
    Avatar by Zanaril

    ...I feel ignored.

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Finally, I have finished my christmass picture . It's Vaarsuvius x Inkyrius, with guest starring Aarindarius, V and Kyrie's children, and Not So Ancient Plushy Pink Dragon .



    I planned it as short, two-panel comic, but in the end it evolved into this thing . Don't ask who was taking those photos (in fact I thought about it when comic was done )-a wizard did it (using Canon's Panel -Capture® spell -save the best panels of your life™).

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    p.s. manga-OOTS is awesome.

  28. - Top - End - #598
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Back by popular demand!

    No seriously. I didn't realize people liked this so much. I even got PMs. It makes me feel special. Thanks guys.


    Vaarsuvius x Ciaphas Cain

    CHAPTER 5

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    It hadn't taken long to find a Vox Unit. It just took awhile to actually get it working. It wasn't until Jurgen kicked it violently, as per the Cult of the Machine's usual rituals, that the radio set hummed to life and he was able to get a signal out. The odorous Guardsman requested a Chimera Armored Personel Carrier to come pick him and the Commissar, and asked in his usual blunt and uncouth manner that fresh reinforcements be sent to hold the line. The officer on the other end had informed him that they had no Chimeras or troops to spare, and he was frak out of luck. Cain was not happy to hear this, nor was he in the mood to deal with it.

    Wrenching the Vox from his aide, the Commissar had proclaimed (with just enough "anger" in his voice to probably shave a few years off the officer's life) that he was Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, and that he'd not only held the line, but he'd managed to capture an live Eldar. After a small whimper and several moments of silence, the officer rerouted Cain through several command channels. After listening to several people of various ranks debate amongst themselves on a variety of channels, Commissar Cain was eventually informed that he'd have a Chimera full of Storm Troopers within the hour.

    "I'm quite the bargaining chip, aren't I?" V quiped with a mixture of sarcasm, venom, and unadmitted pride. She found it a bit silly that everything changed at the mentioning that she was something she was not. It insulted her that she had to be treated a prisoner, and no one wanted to let her know why. But while she wouldn't admit it, part of her did enjoy the fact that everyone made such a fuss about her. Sure, it would probably cause her a lot of trouble and annoyance in the near future, but it was nice to be recognized for her powers and abilities. It stroked her ego, which was in dire need of love after everything she'd endured over the last few months.

    "I'm sorry, but that is how it appears to be..." Cain sighed. "But the only way you'll be able to make any sort of contact with Amberley is if we perform this charade, and convincingly. My apologies for any insult, Miss... I'm sorry, I'm not sure I caught your name..." the Commissar smiled sheepishly, slightly embarassed that he'd forgotten such a basic thing as asking what her name was. Then again, it wasn't every day you got to share small talk with a FRAKKING XENO SORCERESS. But Cain tried not to think about that - he wasn't in the mood for a stroke.

    "Vaarsuvius," V replied pridefully, tilting her head back and closing her eyes as a smirk crossed her face. She was really enjoying the attention, and the fact that something as simple as her name was a big deal made her quite proud of herself. Of course, she was inspiring a bit more than awe in the two men in front of her. Since her eyes were shut, V missed the expression on Cain's face as he struggled not to be enthralled by her alluring voice receiting such a beautiful name, nor did she see Jurgen's eyes light up and a small tinge of color appear on his muddy cheeks. "Master of the Arcane, Violator of the Laws of Physics, and Wizard for the Order of the Stick." A sudden thought crossed her mind, which slightly dimmed her happy mood. What was the Order up to right now, without her?

    ---

    "Okay folks, One more time. There's gotta be something we missed..." Roy sighed, looking around the campfire at the rest of the Order. He then placed his finger on a clipboard he'd scribbled notes on. They'd been discussing V's dissappearance for almost an hour, and they'd gone over every detail repeatedly. But they were missing something. Roy could feel it. So, they were going over everything once again. "V didn't cast any spells, right?"

    "Aye," Durkon nodded. "She was just sittin' there, and she looked like he was about to make a joke."

    "So not only is the group split, again, but I also missed a chance to make fun of the elf having a sucky sense of humor?" Belkar growled in frustration. All this discussion had eroded what patience he had, and he was just in an angry mood now. "PISS!!"

    "So he just dissappeared without warning..." Roy mused. "Well, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't just summon people to your location with normal magic. I'm certain you can only send yourself to them..."

    "But she didn't cast any teleportation spells!" Haley whined. "That's what doesn't make sense!"

    "Didn't she say something about a constant-affect spell?" Elan suddenly looked up from the new clown puppet he was making, which was wearing a chef's hat and holding what appeared to be a pie. "That would zap him straight to your location?"

    "But we're right here!" Haley and Belkar both growled.

    "Aye," Durkon's eyes suddenly went wide. "But she said she cast the spell for anyone who fit your description!"

    "So if two people who fell under the terms of what she cast the spell for found themselves in dire straights..." Roy closed his eyes, astounded by how stupid they were for taking so long to figure this out - and how much trouble this fully meant. "She would be zapped straight to their location, wherever it may be."

    Somber silence followed. Belkar was the one who finally broke it. "PISS!!"

    ---

    "Sooooo... Let me get this straight..." Cain scratched his chin, pondering deeply. Jurgen sat nearby, entering information into a data-slate. Cain thought it would be good to take notes on the subject, and even without encryption, nobody would be able to understand Jurgen's grammar and spelling. "You're from another plane of existance? As in... a completely different dimension?"

    "Indeed," Vaarsuvius nodded, matter-o-factly. "Or so I think... I'm really not sure about all of this, myself."

    "But where you're from, everything is regulated and hinges on rules and "rolls" to determine the outcome of most actions?" Cain's eyebrow couldn't rise any higher. He was finding all of this nearly impossible to believe - but "V" was quite convincing. The only reason he didn't suspect her using Warpcraft to charm him was the fact that Jurgen was close enough to almost induce gagging.

    "You are correct, Mister Commissar," V replied politely.

    "Actually, its Commissar Cain. Not Mister Commissar. Commissar," Cain corrected her as politely as he could. Truth be told, he knew he didn't deserve the title of Commissar. But frak it if he didn't want to still shown respect. If she'd been a Guardsman, or planetary defence member, he could have shown his full ire and had her shaking in her boots. But instead, she was an alien entity capable of exploding his skull with a wink. He was content with bending over backwards if it meant he didn't piss "V" off. "At any rate... So, you're a member of the Order of the Stick, a band of adventuring thieves, entertainers, warriors, holy men, and psychopaths?"

    "Essentially..." V shrugged.

    "And you're working together to close several portals which allow a world-eating force of Chaos entrance into your reality?" Cain couldn't help but be reminded vaguely of the forces of the Imperium and their constant battle against the Ruinous Powers.

    "That is our current goal, yes." the Elf answered with a nod.

    "And there are several forces of evil standing in your way, trying to kill you, corrupt you, or otherwise stop you from saving existance?" Cain looked over at Jurgen, to make sure he was keeping up.

    "Specifically, an army of goblinoid creatures, an undead abomination, traitorous humans, and people who take their faith to the extreme and beyond." Vaarsuvius sighed.

    "Why does some of this sound oddly familiar?" Cain mused, removing his cap and scratching at his short dark hair. This was too much to believe. And yet, for some reason... he wanted to. Maybe she was messing with his head? But that was impossible. Not with Jurg-

    A sudden thought crossed Cain's mind. Vaarsuvius had used Warpcraft several times since she'd arrived - but she'd been near Jurgen when using some of it! Which was impossible, since Warpcraft was blocked out when in his viscinity! It nearly floored him as the depth of its meaning forced itself into his mind. He pointed at V, and then at Jurgen. "If you don't mind, please stand next to him."

    V looked at Cain, and then at Jurgen, and then back at Cain. She wanted to protest, not because it was pointless, but because she didn't have a Fortitude Save to rely on. But she decided to just go along with it, to see what he was planning. For some reason, she felt... almost... inclined to trust him. Maybe it was the hat? She cautiously approached Jurgen, who didn't even seem to notice her inching closer. Finally, she stopped just within touching distance of the Imperial Guardsman, as that is as far as her nose would allow her to go without trying to secceed from her face. "Alright, Commissar," she stressed his title with a hint of sarcasm, having been slightly annoyed by his earlier correction, "Now what?"

    "Do what you did earlier," Cain shrugged. "Clean your robes. Please," he added, not wanting to get immolated by a frakked-off Eldar.

    Vaarsuvius arched an eyebrow, and then looked down at her feet. The hem of her robe was stained with mud, so she simply pointed down and made it spotless again with a mutterance of "Prestidigitation."

    "Fascinating!" Cain gasped. She could still practice Warpcraft while in close proximity to Jurgen. Which should have been impossible, since Jurgen's existance as a Blank cancelled out Warp Energy within a certain range of himself. Which, by extension... meant she wasn't channeling the Warp. Or at least, that was the most logical explaination.

    "If cheap parlor tricks are that shocking to you," Vaarsuvius sighed, "I'm worried to see what these Psykers and Inquisitors you speak about are capable of..."

    ---

    "Okay, so let me get this straight..." Roy grumbled, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand, exasperated by what he was being forced to deal with. "We've been trying to come up with ideas for over an hour, and the best we've got... is... Elan, repeat it once again, just so I can fully grasp it."

    "We find some people with the last names Bitterleaf and Starshine, and then push 'em off a cliff!" Elan grinned cheerfully, gesturing wildly with his hands.

    "Okay, seriously, Mister Nice Guy came up with that before I did?" Belkar growled angrily. He was the Chaotic Evil one. He was the one who was supposed to come up with the hilariously homicidal stuff. Stuff like that was HIS territory. "WHAT IS THIS, MY OWN PERSONAL HELL!?"

    "Belkar has a point, sweetie..." Haley frowned. "That is kinda... Chaotic Evil."

    "No, not at all!" Elan replied matter-o-factly. "It'll be perfect! V said she'd be summoned to save Miss Starshine and Mister Bitterleaf, so if we throw people with those names off of a cliff..."

    "V will haf ta show up an' rescue them!" Durkon exclaimed, suddenly realizing the point he was trying to make. "That actu'lly makes sense, boy!"

    "Yep!" Elan nodded happily. "And it'll be all dramatic, too! The perfect suspenceful moment - two innocent people falling to their deaths, and the hero showing up at the last second to save them! It'll be amazing!"

    "I can't believe I'm saying this..." Roy groaned, rubbing his eyes to cope with the insanity, "But lets go with Elan's idea... Lets get our stuff together, and try to find some people with the last names of Starshine and Bitterleaf. Haley, Belkar... any ideas where to start?" the party leader asked the rogue and ranger.

    "I already have somebody in mind," Belkar smirked.

    "And I have an aunt twice removed who lives about three days from here..." Haley shrugged. "I think she still has Starshine for her last name. Worse comes to worse, I can feed her some ****'n'bull story about an inheritance that requires her to retake Starshine as a surname. She was always pretty greedy..."

    "That's a suprise..." Roy rolled his eyes. "Okay, team. We've got our mission. Lets get ready to move out!"

    "Oh goodie! Looks like Ol' Grandpaw Bitterleaf is going to be getting a visit at the retirement center," Belkar grinned fiendishly as he raced off to pack his bags.

    --- End Chapter 5 ---



    Well... What'd ya'll think?


    Please be honest.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

  29. - Top - End - #599
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    Quote Originally Posted by Thor Person Guy View Post
    Though not necessarily in that order.
    O, you have no idea...

    Quote Originally Posted by half-halfling View Post
    Finally, I have finished my christmass picture . It's Vaarsuvius x Inkyrius, with guest starring Aarindarius, V and Kyrie's children, and Not So Ancient Plushy Pink Dragon .
    That looks soooo sweet, yet really sad. Happy Holidays.

    Though I do have one question. Is V just look at the photos or about to burn them? Probably just looking at them, but I can't get that out of my head.
    Last edited by Aaron; 2009-12-19 at 07:35 PM.
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  30. - Top - End - #600
    Titan in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

    That made me sad.


    Good job, half-halfling. Very nicely done... I like the dragon plushie. XD
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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