Parson Gotti: Eldritch abomination

[Slayn82]

Hi. After the last updates, an idea has been growing on my mind. How utter alien is Parson to the beings of Erfworld. This is just an alternate character interpretation, ok?

Lets begin from his summoning. If this was an standard fantasy setting, and the dark overlord resolved to sumon something, what do you think would apear? A Demon. But instead they got Parson. Of course, he even had unspeakable words. And in his world, that situation was just like a game, and expectedly he would take part in the battle just for pleasure.

A favorite quote of mine is this one:

"It was maddening, really. Until recently, Ansom had been regarded as one of the finest strategic planners in the world. And while he was still in charge of planning his side's conquests, and they were proceeding gloriously, his Mistress saw fit to vet his plans through...whatever Hamster was. Not Royal nor common, nor holy. Fish nor fowl. A deceiver in the service of the Titans, who might perhaps disbelieve in the Titans' existence. Maddening."

An Erfworlder apears as a adult, with all the knowledge in his mind. How long do they live? Transylvito capital was fabled because it had no been attacked in thousand turns... and it sounded ancient. Well, for Parson one turn is like one day, and one thousand is around 3 years? So Parson could conceivably say : i've got OVER NINE THOUSAND turns .

He is a power gamer, and what would a Demon give to its master, if not power? 23 turns of Stanley getting Dragons, and it started at 2-3, when Parson didn´t knew he could use his mathamancy to make predictions about the future, that he could use to guess where the dragons are. And more dragons = even more Dragons, with Stanley getting groups of dragons to relay.

And now there is even a legion of Doom, and he is their true planner. And his awareness of the world is increasing, he is even starting to manipulate Stanley and Charlie. And there is a Holy war to boot.

Comments?

Oh, yes, and about today update, well, i got another source of horror. I thought for a moment that Margie was interested in Parson, But now he got those sexy Undead girls... still thinking about it.

Edit: ah, yes, figured out. Parson's nightly routine was chatting with Sizemore... i can see Maggie's angle now.

[The DM]

Oh wow, yeah. Never thought about Stanley using dwagon relays to increase his hunting range. That could easily have a potentially exponential effect, and in, say, 50 turns he could be pulling in several dozen new dwagons per turn.

As for Parson...I follow your logic and tend to agree. From our perspective it might appear to be an inversion of the "Summon Uber Demon" trope, but on Erfworld, Jetstonian theology is "Good". A super-powerful, game-breaking Outsider like Parson would indeed be analogous to an Evil Outsider in D&D. But that's starting to drift into moral relativism, so I'll stop there.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Originally Posted by Slayn82

Oh, yes, and about today update, well, i got another source of horror. I thought for a moment that Margie was interested in Parson, But now he got those sexy Undead girls... still thinking about it.

I still wouldn't put it out of the realm of possibility that Maggie is interested. She has a gamut of emotional responses (read via her eyes and tone) to the questions she asks about Parson's hang-ups.

She seems to admire him well enough (although all the casters do).

Originally Posted by Erfworld

"Okay well it's like...what I was saying before. I've never had that power before, and I don't know how I feel about it. If I understand things right, I could just like, order an Archon to take off her clothes and drop to her knees. And she'd do it, right?"

Maggie's eyes did something entirely different this time, they sort of flashed. "An Archon, or any unit, Lord."

"Okay well...it doesn't work like that where I'm from," said Parson uncomfortably. "We actually have laws against that...against people in power taking advantage of their underlings or whatever. For that. I mean I seriously would not have expected to react this way to this situation, but it feels wrong to me."

Maggie smiled at him, her eyes crinkling. "What an utterly alien thing to think. But also, utterly charming."

"Graah. C'mon," Parson said, and continued up the avenue. They turned the corner at Maggie Street (the name had led to an interesting discussion on an earlier outing), and he saw the street was clear of Decrypted. "Y'know maybe if one of them was actually interested in me... But even then, I've got another problem. One that probably trumps the other two."

Maggie's tone darkened. "I see, Lord. Are you unable?"

Seems kind of suggestive if you ask me.

[Tavar]

The image, it burnssss.......

Thanks for scaring my mind for life. Can you at least chip in some brain bleach?

[Matar]

Seems kind of suggestive if you ask me.

I am now a ParsonxMaggie shipper.

Thanks.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Eh. Horror is something a person ought to develop a keen taste for. It makes a man of irony.

Of course, there are other, much less perverted interpretations. Namely, Parson bringing up his ability to command sex is actually a touchy subject for Maggie. That is to say, there is a moral sensibility there that is offended at the idea of exploitation, but it isn't largely understood in Erfworld culture.

Nobody really questions the notion of loyalty magic and even fewer question the divine mandate of royalty. It's just the way the system is in the eyes of most Erfworlders.

But Parson doesn't think like an Erfworlder, so he questions everything.

[Fishy]

Originally Posted by LurkerInPlayground

Of course, there are other, much less perverted interpretations. Namely, Parson bringing up his ability to command sex is actually a touchy subject for Maggie

Nope, that's actually a more perverted interpretation.

Why do you think anyone studies Thinkamancy?

[Justyn]

Originally Posted by Fishy

Nope, that's actually a more perverted interpretation.

Why do you think anyone studies Thinkamancy?

It's not their fault, they were just popped that way! And thinkagrams are very useful.

[Jallorn]

Originally Posted by LurkerInPlayground

-snip- (although all the casters do). -snip-

Huh... that's true, casters seem to implicitly trust Parson most of the time. Even when they have many reasons not to (Sizemore for example)... I wonder...

[kpenguin]

Errr... Magic Kingdom incident? Whole society of casters ready to disband him?

[Teln]

That seems like it's a special rule regarding the Kingdom:"Trespassers Non-casters shall be croaked, no exceptions".

[Tavar]

Also, considering that he was a warlord representing a side and had been fleeing a battle, it could be violating their neutrality, which could be very dangerous.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Originally Posted by Jallorn

Huh... that's true, casters seem to implicitly trust Parson most of the time. Even when they have many reasons not to (Sizemore for example)... I wonder...

Because Parson values their input?

Because he doesn't treat them like chattle?

Because he's an intellectual who cares about the pursuit of truth?

[Slayn82]

Originally Posted by Tavar

The image, it burnssss.......

Thanks for scaring my mind for life. Can you at least chip in some brain bleach?

What were you expecting from an essay dealing with the wereabouts of a possible Eldritch Abomination? A Carebear stare?

Anyway, about those new twists, well, let's remember, as it was said by the man himself:

Spoiler

[PumpkinJack]

Is it just me or have the text summer updates really added to the depth of the ErfWorld characters? I mean, I really enjoyed the comic before them but now I think it's my favorite. Maybe we've got to get Rob to write a book...

[Ditto]

I am LOVING the summer updates. I didn't get into ErfWorld for the first go-around in comic form... you needed a bit of an archive binge in order to appreciate the scope of the series. But then I went through the whole thing in a go, and it was brilliant start to finish. And these summer update snapshots are really fantastic.

I can't get enough of the Charlie/Parson EyeMs.

[Justyn]

Originally Posted by PumpkinJack

Is it just me or have the text summer updates really added to the depth of the ErfWorld characters? I mean, I really enjoyed the comic before them but now I think it's my favorite. Maybe we've got to get Rob to write a book...

Because Rob doesn't like thought bubbles. I can't remember where he said it, but if you look closely, you will notice that nowhere in Book 1 is there any hints as to any of the characters' inner monologues or personal thoughts. Meanwhile we actually do get to see what the characters are thinking in the summer updates.

[PumpkinJack]

Originally Posted by Ditto

I am LOVING the summer updates. I didn't get into ErfWorld for the first go-around in comic form... you needed a bit of an archive binge in order to appreciate the scope of the series. But then I went through the whole thing in a go, and it was brilliant start to finish. And these summer update snapshots are really fantastic.

I can't get enough of the Charlie/Parson EyeMs.

If you haven't checked out Partially Clips yet, Rob's clip-art comic, do it. You'll see a lot of the same intellectual wit that shines in Erfworld. I've rarely laughed as hard with another webcomic.

[PumpkinJack]

Originally Posted by Justyn

Because Rob doesn't like thought bubbles. I can't remember where he said it, but if you look closely, you will notice that nowhere in Book 1 is there any hints as to any of the characters' inner monologues or personal thoughts. Meanwhile we actually do get to see what the characters are thinking in the summer updates.

That makes a lot of sense but there's still a descriptive quality to Rob's prose that it's hard for me to imagine coming across in a comic.

[Ashwood]

Originally Posted by Slayn82

Oh, yes, and about today update, well, i got another source of horror. I thought for a moment that Margie was interested in Parson, But now he got those sexy Undead girls... still thinking about it.

Not just Undead girls... Undead Angels.

[Oslecamo]

Originally Posted by Ashwood

Not just Undead girls... Undead Angels.

Technicaly speaking, flying knights with random special abilities.

[tribble]

Originally Posted by Oslecamo

Technicaly speaking, flying knights with random special abilities.

So it's settled that Wanda's Archons are Ninja Pirate Zombie Robots?

and that's an interesting analogy with parson.

[Ethesis]

Originally Posted by Ditto

I am LOVING the summer updates. I didn't get into ErfWorld for the first go-around in comic form... you needed a bit of an archive binge in order to appreciate the scope of the series. But then I went through the whole thing in a go, and it was brilliant start to finish. And these summer update snapshots are really fantastic.

I can't get enough of the Charlie/Parson EyeMs.

I really have enjoyed the text updates as well.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Originally Posted by Ashwood

Not just Undead girls... Undead Angels.

I actually view the Decryption process as a kind of resurrection, owing to Wanda's new mastery over the forces of life and death.

[DCGFTW]

Originally Posted by LurkerInPlayground

Of course, there are other, much less perverted interpretations. Namely, Parson bringing up his ability to command sex is actually a touchy subject for Maggie. That is to say, there is a moral sensibility there that is offended at the idea of exploitation, but it isn't largely understood in Erfworld culture.

Well if you remember, back in book one, Parson at one point, out of ignorance, basically commanded Maggie to kill herself, and she nearly did. Sounds like a touchy subject to me.

Originally Posted by LurkerInPlayground

I actually view the Decryption process as a kind of resurrection, owing to Wanda's new mastery over the forces of life and death.

Well, in it's literal sense, it is un-killing something, so it is a resurrection as opposed to a raise-dead sort of thing.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Originally Posted by DCGFTW

Well, in it's literal sense, it is un-killing something, so it is a resurrection as opposed to a raise-dead sort of thing.

Oh good. Semantics.

The point is, Parson wouldn't be banging a cold and rotting thing if he decided to shack up with an Archon.

If it quacks like a hot nubile woman and walks like a not nubile woman and has all the past memories of a nubile woman. . .
Well, the body is intact, warm and doesn't stink.

Good enough.

Likewise, Prince Ansom is virtually as he was before. Minus the fact that his personality has changed and his flesh is fed by the unholy energies of Croakamancy.

[Slayn82]

Well, i kinda agree with you, Lurker... and its better than Margie, no doubt about it.

Also, now we have Superman on Jetstone side. Will Parson also become Lex Luthor?

[Matar]

All of you shut up. You're being so loud it's hard to concentrate on shipping ParsonxMaggie.

Now excuse me while I add this to my sig.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Originally Posted by Matar

All of you shut up. You're being so loud it's hard to concentrate on shipping ParsonxMaggie.

Now excuse me while I add this to my sig.

I'm not really convinced of the idea myself.

There's also a shared look between Maggie and Sizemore and the intimation of a "rapport" in caster link.

A lot of Maggie's hang-ups with Parson can be seen as a product of curiosity. She's the Erfworld equivalent of a psychologist after all.

[Matar]

Man. There are people out there who ship Leia with Wookies.

Shipping Parson with the Erfworld equivalent of a gmilf isn't THAT much of a stretch.

...Although yeah, it's still a stretch >_>.