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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Expeditious View Post
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    The speech bubble is a little fuzzy, so for you who can't make it out, it reads: "Who modified the shower so that it spews only cold water?!?"
    It was Belkar! Remember all the pranks that V and Belkar pulled on eachother.

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    It was Belkar! Remember all the pranks that V and Belkar pulled on eachother.
    He's probably hidden V's clothes, too.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  3. - Top - End - #63
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Taekwondodo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    I'm going to guess that this was for me.
    Just the fact that any pairing with the Oracle in it seems to invole him raping them and the memory charm ensuring that they have no memory of it and just a number of bruises. I think that was the third(?) such story.
    Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.

    Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleniel View Post
    Taekwondodo - your nick and your avatar are terrific. I want to award you something... how about enough melons to see you through the next ice age?

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Zanaril View Post
    He's probably hidden V's clothes, too.
    *shudders* That would explain why V is really mad!
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    I give Belkar about four rounds before V blasts him into a fine mist of blood and bone matter.

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I give Belkar about four rounds before V blasts him into a fine mist of blood and bone matter.
    Wouldn't V just stick with tradition and Disintegrate Belkar?
    Your local Cleric.

    Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
    (yes, that is possible)

    "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Wouldn't V just stick with tradition and Disintegrate Belkar?
    People, people! This is a crack pairings thread.

    It would totally be a Evan's Spiked Tentacles moment.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  8. - Top - End - #68
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dark Faun's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. There's a fanfiction about that happening after V found Belkar sniffing his underwear.
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    esmerelder's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Nope, it was clearly Roy who messed with the shower! Of course, he meant it to get Elan and Haley, not V -- he was obviously sick of their lovey-dovey shenanigans, and thought it would serve them right for trying to shower together.

    Hey, this is fun -- we should have a game where somebody puts up a picture and a bunch of other somebodies try to write stories to go with it.
    Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-10-30 at 04:00 PM.


    Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!

    Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic
    !

  10. - Top - End - #70
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Well, I've been trying to get The Dark Fiddler to do challenges for a while now. We all get a piece of stimulus, and we all try to write something.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  11. - Top - End - #71
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    So I tried writing some V x Haley. I hope it's believable.

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    Something very important to my heart is how much V trusts me. I don't know why, but he always trusted me implicitly in spite of being a rogue. With his trust, he made me feel better than I am and I thank him greatly for that.

    He's the first person I trusted after escaping the guild, too. He understood my greed, citing his own lust for power instead of scolding me and trying to change me. When I told him about my imprisoned father, he replied he'd never hesitate to help me retrieve him, and even proposed sharing his own gold with me. It was the first time someone gave me such a kind proposal, and this is why I thanked him but refused. Taking his gold wouldn't have felt right. Once again, he understood.

    I care for him deeply, and this is why I'm trying to comfort him as he cries in my bosom. Seeing him as miserable breaks my heart. I'm the only person he'd allow himself to cry in front of. I'm relieved our separation didn't harm the trust he put in me.

    He trusted me so much, in fact, that he told me why he lost his family. He told me about the soul splices and the spell he used to slay uncounted dragons, about how his greed for power actually outmatched his love for his family. I didn't know what to say, so I just hugged him as he lamented the loss of his loved ones.

    He felt unloved, undeserving of love. I was determined to show him otherwise. I cupped his chin, smiling, and tilted his head up.

    He stiffened. "Miss Starshine?"

    "V, please call me Haley..." I whispered before kissing him softly.

    It took me time to realize it, but I've fallen in love with V, maybe as much as with Elan. His endless confidence made me feel actually secure with myself. I enjoyed discussing with him of everything and nothing. I loved the subtle ways he cared about people, and the way he'd deny it and hide behind a veil of indifference. Except when it came to me. He made me feel special.

    I saw his eyes widen as my own eyes shut and I pulled him closer. His entire body stood still for a second, then I was delighted when I felt him wrap his arms around my neck and kiss back. We both craved this. His mouth soon left my own, leaving a hot trail of kisses across my jaw until it reached my neck. I remember moaning his name as he started undoing the straps of my leather tank top...
    I think this is a world first - someone has managed to write something sexy involving the words "tank top".

    /applause

  12. - Top - End - #72
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Out of the blue, here's more VxHaerta.

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    It appeared that my unintelligible enunciations had been loud enough to rouse everyone from their beds, and it was Sir Greenhilt who scrambled out of his tent first, ancestral sword held ready to fight off a non-existent foe. He stopped when he saw only us - Miss Starshine standing with an arrow nocked and I on my knees in the sand – a look of confusion crossing his dark features. Miss Starshine came forward and tried to help me up, but I shrugged off her assistance. There was nothing wrong with me, I could stand on my own.

    “Vaarsuvius, what the hell-“ Sir Greenhilt started to ask, but Miss Starshine shook her head sharply and his inquiry faltered. I scowled inwardly at the way they were acting, as though I was an upset child. I was a fully grown elf, decades older than any of them, and they should acknowledge it more often.

    “V, are you okay?” Fear was still etched in her face, but now the fear was for me, not for herself and I felt a sudden stab of annoyance.

    “I am quite alright.” I answered curtly, brushing residual sand off of my robes and meeting her concerned gaze with a defiant glare. Miss Starshine nodded, but she evidently did not believe me.

    “I think you should go back to bed, V.”

    I looked around to see that everyone else was returning to their tents, except for Sir Greenhilt who stood watching our exchange expressionlessly. I complied without another word, deciding that further protest would be futile, and re-entered my tent to see Blackwing looking at me questioningly.

    “What was that all about?” He asked.

    I lay down on my bedroll, facing away from him. “It is not important.”

    “Was that you laughing like that?”

    “I said it is not important!” I snarled, twisting around to glare at the pathetic ball of feathers. He shrunk back, burrowing down into the cloak as though it would shield him from my fury. I turned away again and lay back down.

    From outside I could hear voices. “I don’t know. V was just curled up on the ground, making that noise.”

    “There wasn’t anything else here?”

    “Not that I could see.” There was a pause, the only audible sound a rustling as Blackwing craned his scrawny neck, trying to hear what else they had to say about me.

    “I’m worried, Roy. First there was that thing with the uber-magic or whatever, then running off to fight Xykon alone. Then there was the thing with the ‘familiar’. Now this.”

    “You think V’s losing it?”

    “I think Vaarsuvius might not be in a fit state to adventure with us anymore. Being faced with the task that’s ahead of us is hardly going to be helping matters.”

    “Maybe you’re right. But I think we should wait until morning until we make any decisions.”

    “I suppose. ‘Night Roy.”

    “Goodnight.”

    I lay there, my face flushed with anger and shame. Blackwing was silent. I was sure that he was thinking thoughts similar to the opinions my team members had expressed. As if the mangy animal had any right to think ill of its master in such a way.

    “Maybe you should pull a few of his feathers out” the voice whispered on the edge of hearing. Well, maybe I should.


    I emerged from the tent as soon as the sunlight could be seen through the canvass, to find that as usual I was the first to rise. After the night’s events I had once more fallen into a trance, lost in memories that surfaced, then slipped away between my fingers. I gazed across the dunes at the rising sun, the light tinted rose pink from some distant sand storm. The air was still cool, but the sun’s rays were already warm on my face and I enjoyed the feeling, knowing that once she ascended high enough to burn I would no longer be able to feel it, instead having been magically shielded from the heat.

    “A red sunrise, how lovely.”

    I twisted around in surprise, to see only Blackwing hopping out of the tent, stretching his wings. He saw me looking at him, and tilted his head to the side slightly. “What?” he questioned, eyeing me strangely. His voice was a coarse rasp, perfectly understandable but still animalistic and distinct.

    I turned away. “Nothing.”

    “Look, I’m not judging you. I know better than they do what you’ve been through recently and if you’re a bit stressed it’s perfectly understandable. I’m sure your team mates would be happy to help if you need some emotional support at the mo-“

    “’Emotional support’?!” I exclaimed incredulously. “You think I have problems of the type that can be solved with a friendly conversation and a cup of tea?” I snorted humourlessly at the idea. “I care not for your misguided analysis of my mental state. There is nothing wrong with me, save that I am surrounded by people who will not respect my need for occasional solitude.”

    For a moment, it seemed Blackwing would try to argue further, but he simply snapped his beak shut once with an exasperated clack and spread his wings. “I’m gonna go and fly around for a bit, see if I can see anything from higher up.” he said, rising into the air and quickly becoming just a black speck against the sky.

    Finally! Some peace and quiet!

    My mood suddenly having lightened considerably, I brought my spellbooks and components out of the tent and settled down on the sand to prepare spells. As soon as the rest of them awoke I wouldn’t have a moments respite while I was in their company. I resolved to enjoy it while I could.


    They had, of course, all voted against my continued contribution to the quest. Even the dwarf - whom I had begun to hope was somewhat reasonable - insisted I relinquish my participation ‘fer yer own good’. Some small part of me may have realised that my behaviour the previous night had been somewhat peculiar, but it was a slight transgression compared to their own eccentric vices, and a singular one following a long history of nothing but diligent dedication to the same cause for which we all toiled. Perhaps I should have been more insistent; after all, the successfulness of their quest would decide the fate of the entire world - a world in which I currently resided. But if I must be honest, I admit I had long since tired of their company, and having to constantly refrain from showing them painfully and exactly what I felt of them was wearing my patience somewhat thin.

    But calling me insane? I was laughable; I found myself grinning at the absurdity of it.

    I could always scry on them and rejoin the party at a later point, assuming they did not eventually realise their mistake themselves and take the initiative in contacting me, something which I knew them to be perfectly capable of doing. If anyone were to regret this decision - I reassured myself as a packed away my spellbooks and scrolls - it would be them. I would be the one to get the last laugh, I thought, chuckling softly.

    Sir Greenhilt approached me as we concluded packing the tents, giving me an odd look. “We’ll take you to the next settlement” He said. “And we’ll find someone to provide any help you need from there.” What does he think I am?

    “Thank you for your concern.” I replied sourly, “But I am well able to make my own arrangements and I will be departing present company shortly.” I had prepared a Flight spell that morning for this exact purpose.

    “V, we’d be happier if we left you somewhere we know you’ll be safe.”

    Have they all forgotten the magnitude of the power I wield? He was looking at me with concern that would normally be reserved for an invalid, and suddenly the desire gripped me to send a Fireball directly into his face. I imagined him screaming in pain, his flesh shrivelling and cracking, peeling away from charred bone. Something of this must have shown in my expression because he hastily backed away from me. A wise decision. I turned back to the half dismantled tent and finished folding it and packing it into a neat bundle.

    However, despite their faults, I had travelled with them for long enough that I would not leave without a farewell. Especially to Miss Starshine, whom - despite our recent disputes – I had counted as a friend for longer than I had any of the others. With this in mind, I walked over to where they were gathering, Blackwing perched respectably on my shoulder and my head held high. I would not allow them to pity me.

    “Miss Starshine?”

    She turned to face me, looking worried. “Roy said you weren’t travelling with us to the next town. Why not V?”

    “Because I am obviously no longer wanted here!” I exclaimed, gesturing wildly and almost knocking my familiar off of his makeshift perch. Everyone was watching now, but they were not deserving of my attention and so I ignored them. “Goodbye, Miss Starshine. I hope we meet again once you have come to realise that our parting was ill advised.” I turned on heel and strode off, effectively silencing further conversation. As I flew off into the air, I heard her shouting something; her own goodbye perhaps, or maybe a plea for me to remain with them. I did not look back, nor did I stop to listen.

    I travelled in this fashion for the rest of the day, stopping only once in the heat of the sun to refill my water supply from a small oasis, and also to allow Blackwing to rest. When not travelling on my shoulder, he had spent the journey flying alongside me, and the inhospitable environment seemed to discomfort him more than it did me. Several times he had attempted to converse with me, either through concern or boredom. Each time I had shrugged off his attention until his attempts ceased altogether. Instead, we flew on in silence but for the whistling of the wind as it rushed past heralding us to our destination.

    We reached a settlement as night was beginning to fall, for which I was grateful because I had no wish to spend another night out in the desert. It was a small town, like Sandsedge a large proportion of it consisted of tents, although these were clustered around more permanent dwellings. I began looking for accommodation for the night.

    It was some time later that Haerta reappeared, suddenly there as I lay in a room at an inn staring up at the cracks in the ceiling. It was a subtle shift in the air, the feeling of someone else being present; I knew it wasn’t Blackwing because I’d kicked him out of my room earlier when he once more began trying to talk to me, shutting the door against his voice. Hearta was lounging beside me on the narrow bed, and I could feel her breath on my neck.

    “You returned.” I stated by way of a greeting.

    At that she laughed, rolling on top of me and effectively trapping me under her warm weight.

    “I never left” she said, pressing her lips to mine and I squirmed - suddenly apprehensive - raising my hands to her shoulders to push her away. But she was having none of that; she caught my wrists and pinned them up above my head, forced a thigh between my legs. And laughed: a thick syrupy sound that seemed to come from deep in her throat. As before, it was contagious, and I found myself laughing loudly too, at least until she bit my lip sharply and told me to shut up.

    “You’ll attract someone’s attention, just like you did last night.” she hissed as I gingerly felt my injured lip with my tongue, the coppery taste of blood seeping into my mouth.

    “You were laughing too.” I protested, and maybe the pain was clearing my mind a little because I was suddenly wondering what exactly was going on. I tried to tug my wrists free, but her grip was like an iron vice.

    “They’ll hear you laughing, but they won’t hear me.” She reassured. The ever logical part of my mind tried to consider the implications of that; could it be some side effect of the Soul Splice that tied me to this damned soul? Was it my training in matters of the arcane? But my attention ultimately drifted to a different question.

    “Why are you here?” I heard myself ask.

    She let go of my wrists, propping herself up on one arm and wiping a trickle of blood away from my mouth with a slender finger. The finger went to her mouth and she licked the red smear off with a flick of her tongue. Her eyes were still fixed on mine.

    “Because you need me, sweetie. All this travelling around with insufferably good people has impaired your ability to act in your own interests.” A hand trailed down my neck to the clasp of my cloak, unfastened it. “You’re a mess; you spent months in fruitless search for that rogue, and where did that get you? No-one has even thanked you for your efforts. I would never have tolerated that. ”

    “You would never have adventured with a group such as them.” I argued, which brought about another laugh. I struggled to stay silent.

    “True, maybe. But don’t be so quick to discount what a healthy sense of self-preservation can prompt you to do. Their quest is hardly unimportant. Of course, they’re no longer allowing you to help, and after it cost you so much...”

    A wave of grief washed over me, and I tensed, fighting back the emotions. She was right of course; having given up my family now meant so much less because the cause for which I had left them was denied to me. I tried to reason with myself that I had furthered the goals of the Order significantly, but the fact remained that I was no longer actively participating. “I had to leave them, I –I couldn’t have stayed.”

    “Hey, it’s okay.” She cooed, tugging open the collar of my robe and lowering her head to my neck. “You made a sensible decision. But you can’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself; now you’ve got a chance to take back what you lost. And you’ve got me to help you.”

    The tongue drawing swirling patterns on my throat was making it had to concentrate. “You think I should try to... regain the love of my mate?” I said disbelievingly. She chuckled at that, and this time I couldn’t resist allowing a similar noise to escape me. However she made no effort to silence me.

    “Something like that.” She said lifting her head momentarily to give a smile that showed a row of oddly sharp teeth.

    “How-“ I began to ask, but my question turned into a moan as she writhed against me, a moan muffled by soft lips. She took the opportunity to slip her tongue into my partly open mouth. If I had had any further questions, they were quickly forgotten.

    ***
    I was suddenly aware that I was cold, and that I was alone. I tugged at the rough blankets I lay on, pulling them up to cover my bare skin and curled up into a ball, hugging my knees to my chest and shivering. For a moment, I could hear nothing except my own breathing, and I struggled to recall where I was. But slowly my ears began to pick up sounds from the outside world, and memories surged back. Memories of anger, of despair, of warm flesh against warm flesh...

    I raised my head, clenching my teeth to stop them chattering, and gazed around the small room. Just as the warmth she had provided was gone as though it had never been, so was the necromancer herself.

    All I could think of was that I didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to be lost in the silence, I needed something tangible to focus on. I opened my mouth, my throat suddenly dry and my voice cracking. “H-Hearta?”

    “Shhh.” The ghostly touch of a hand brushed across my face, cool and soft and warm and real and I sunk back down onto the bed.

    “Don’t leave.”

    I tried to raise my head again, but my whole body felt impossibly heavy, even my eyelids drifted shut against my will.

    On the edge on consciousness I heard a whisper.

    “I never did.”

    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  13. - Top - End - #73

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Cracklord View Post
    Well, I've been trying to get The Dark Fiddler to do challenges for a while now. We all get a piece of stimulus, and we all try to write something.
    I'm trying to get myself to do this as well.

    Sadly, I have this problem where any idea that I like in general, such as a contest or fanfic, always sounds stupid when I get into details, and I have to keep reworking it and reworking it. (See my Animorphs/Pokemon fanfic... been on chapter 1 for a few months now because chapter 2 sounds stupid no matter how I handle it).

    I'm trying, but... yeah.

    I'd be willing to take suggestions so far.

    Right now, all I really have is "I Never Asked You To Love Me" and "Opposites Attract" as ideas.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-10-30 at 06:22 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  14. - Top - End - #74
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Hm. I guess it's time to update my roller. Not today though. Don't know when.
    Use Twitter? Subscribe to @oots_update to always be informed of the latest OotS.

    Use Facebook? Like Order of the Stick Automatic to always be informed of the latest OotS.

  15. - Top - End - #75
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Water-Smurf View Post
    Bleh... Zanaril, what did you put in that orange juice...? And why's the world spinning? And... are those fish swimming in the air?

    ...I think I need to lie down.



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    Ah, Aarindarius. I have to get ready for bed soon so I’ll have to try to make this comparatively brief.

    Aarindarius understood V much better than her parents, though he didn’t understand her perfectly. He was a symbol of Known for her, the light that banished the darkness and gave her the tools to ward it off herself. She always stayed close to the light and was content with not dealing with other people. Aarindarius knew that other people posed some sort of psychological threat to her, but he was more worried about the effects of not dealing with people. While she was comfortable with isolation, she really wasn’t doing herself any favors. At a certain point, no one can be perfectly alone and stay happy. So, for her sake, he threw her out.

    That caused a huge emotional turmoil and dealt her ability to trust a major blow. If her own Light cast her out into Unknown, then who would she ever be safe with? It was a betrayal, and a blatant one at that.

    Vaarsuvius may actually blame herself for it, the instinctive insecurity about understanding that her parents accidentally fostered coming into play. She couldn’t understand Aarindarius’s actions or his reasons. She can’t understand why someone would choose danger over safety (her idea of safety being Known and predictable). She clings to what semblance she has left of safety, Inkyrius and knowledge, then sees that Inkyrius is not safe. Maybe it was something s/he said or did or maybe it was just a baseless thought on Vaarsuvius’s part, but Vaarsuvius decided that she had to distance herself from her mate to keep safe, so she goes off into the world to find more Known and power, and therefore, make the world safer and more controllable.

    I would go on, but I need to get ready before all of my dorm mates steal the sinks. Never live with slightly less than three dozen girls in one place. It has a lot of disadvantages.


    And I bestow upon you all another chapter.

    Spoiler
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    “Redcloak?”

    Redcloak threw his hands up, cursing all clichéd illusory traps in his head and rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. “If you are another cheap illusion of a family member or Vaarsuvius, I swear…”

    “I’m not an illusion.”

    The goblin looked around, gold eye narrowing. “Not again.”

    Vaarsuvius looked offended. The elf was just as Redcloak remembered. Wild purple hair. Fiery violet eyes. Pale skin. Pointed ears. The scent of flowers and wine was so intoxicating that, had Redcloak not known that this was another trick, he would have gladly thrown away all of the barriers he had put around his thoughts of Vaarsuvius just to feel the elf’s lips again, just to touch the body he knew he was only one of the few who was found worthy to touch… but he was no fool.

    “You’re not tricking me. I caught on after the first five or so times this place pulled the ‘brother/niece/lover’ card.”

    “Reddy, I’m not an illusion.” Vaarsuvius smiled, reaching forward and resting a decidedly tangible hand on the goblin’s cheek. “You see? I’m real.”

    Redcloak arched an eye ridge in surprise, wondering what sort of creature this was. The elf went on tip-toes and kissed the goblin softly, lips melding carefully to accommodate the other species. The warm body pressed against his. Gentle fingers trailed down his sides…

    “Maybe not an illusion, but not Vaarsuvius.”

    Redcloak roughly shoved the copy away, only eye a mere fleck of gold, wiping his mouth free of the sour taste of the imposter’s kiss. “One, Vaarsuvius never calls me ‘Reddy.’ That elf’s hard-pressed to tell me so much as her name. Vaarsuvius isn’t the type to give pet names to people that are going to try to destroy everything for the sake of one species.” He brushed himself off, a little sickened by being touched by the creature in front of him. “Second, Vaarsuvius wouldn’t be so willing to jump right back into whatever we were. When I see that elf next, I’m going to be like any other enemy.” He backed up a step, glaring. “Third, you can imitate appearance and smell well, I’ll grant you, but you can’t imitate touch and taste.”

    The thing that looked like Vaarsuvius was silent for a long moment, absorbing what was being said, before rolling its eyes to the sky, skin reddening and hair darkening to black. “Jeeze. You’re no fun.”

    The succubus shook her hair out, eyes turning red and moist wings wiggling out of the restrictive robes they were forced in, flapping wetly to lose the liquid that Redcloak was positive he didn’t want to know the origin of. “I mean, usually I’m able to get some poor sap who’s so desperate that they’re willing to believe, but no. I had to get some frigid bastard who won’t even put out a little for fun’s sake.”

    “So sorry to disappoint.”

    She started to morph again, back into Vaarsuvius, but this time, Vaarsuvius looked beaten and bloody. Redcloak reminded himself quickly of what was really in front of him before he came forward to heal his partner.

    “Anyway, I have other fish to fry.” The succubus who looked like Vaarsuvius ripped her tatty red robes, exposing more flesh than Redcloak was comfortable seeing on his partner. He had seen and felt Vaarsuvius naked, but it was something personal that he knew the elf allowed only to a few. To see this woman freely flaunt things that had every appearance as belonging to the elf made him angry on his partner’s behalf.

    The succubus spun around, her arms outstretched. “Like it?” She smirked. “You sure you don’t want a quickie before I pop off to terrorize other people? From what I’ve gathered, this one wasn’t too good about putting out a lot. How can a big guy like you be satisfied with a frigid wench like her?”

    Redcloak sneered in disgust, making a dismissive motion with his hand. “Get out of my sight. There’s more to relationships than sex.”

    “Oh come on. I’ll imitate your elf, if you like. You’re a lonely sap without her, I can tell. Don’t you miss her?” The succubus who looked like Vaarsuvius ran a hand sensuously through her royal purple hair, smiling. “You can always pretend.”

    Redcloak scowled darkly, making another dismissive gesture with more force. “I don’t want a cheap copy, fiend.”

    “Really? Huh.” The succubus disappeared in a puff of smoke.

    ---

    The Order unanimously decided that the gates were almost more trouble to get to than they were worth.

    “V, Durkon, are you guys sure—”

    “We are fine, I assure you.” Vaarsuvius refused to accept Elan’s or Haley’s silent offers to help walk, severely weakened from trying to hold the illusions at bay while the Order opened the door to the dungeon and head spinning for reasons that would never be divulged to the Order. “Focus on the path ahead.”

    Durkon shrugged off Elan and Haley’s offers as well, but more politely than the elf, and fixed his eyes on the phosphorescent walls. “I sense th’ presence o’ a dark god. An evil cleric was through ‘ere recently.”

    Vaarsuvius looked up with an odd look in violet eyes, but no one noticed. Roy took out his sword, swinging it experimentally, muscles tensing noticeably under his skin. “Do you think it’s Xykon and his goblin?” The name and the last word were coated in more venom than usual. Vaarsuvius casually wrote it off as Roy’s usual dislike for the lich and his associates. Only the other Order members knew why the swordsman was feeling particularly heated about their foes.

    “I can’t think o’ any other reas’n tha’ there’d be an evil cleric runnin’ around.”

    The elf subconsciously rested a hand on a small abdomen, avoiding the gazes of the rest of the Order without realizing it. “R—the goblin who serves Xykon is a cleric of a high enough level that he would have a significant effect to the divine energies.” Vaarsuvius seemed to notice the instinctive gesture, scowling, and brushed the red robe off, removing the hand from the hurting stomach quickly. “It would make sense for them to be here.”

    The rest of the Order exchanged looks, misconstruing the elf’s lack of eye contact and reinforcing their suspicions.

    “Well, we ought to find them. We owe them for killing our leader and taking our spell caster, don’t we?” Haley said, taking Elan’s hand and smiling, an unspoken message rippling out to everyone but Vaarsuvius.

    “I do not suggest it,” the elf said, mind obviously elsewhere. Maybe it was because of the uncharacteristic inattentiveness that the mage didn’t notice what the pointed discouragement was further convincing the Order of. “If Redcloak is with Xykon, we are against a high-level cleric and an epic-level sorcerer. Even without one of his eyes, Redcloak is powerful and intelligent enough so that he would be very difficult to defeat, even when we are working together. Xykon is powerful enough to kill us all on his own. They are also likely with the mid-level Theurge and a creature of indeterminate species and strength. We should avoid fighting them at all costs.”

    “And Rule of Drama says that the party has to split up! We’re probably going to get to a giant fo…” Elan trailed off as the entire group stopped, faced with six different paths leading off in wildly different directions, the phosphorescent walls flickering only slightly. “Here it is.”

    Everyone stared for a moment, roughly identical thoughts running through their heads. “Can all of us go down one path?”

    “We don’t know which way the gate is. It’ll take too long for us all to explore each path.”

    There was another reluctant silence.

    “Well, I’ll divide up th’ rations an’ supplies.” Durkon started rifling through the packs. “Vaarsuvius, ye wouldna happ’n t’ ‘ave a spell so we c’n track each other…?”

    “I am afraid not, Mr. Thundershield.”

    “Figures.” Roy sighed, exasperated that the gods of drama continued to make life a thousand times harder for him. “Alright. We don’t know how this works. I don’t like the idea of us splitting up, but we’re going to have to. Elan, in a story, what would happen along the paths?”

    Elan smiled, leaning on his heels. “That’s easy. We’ll all face what we fear and what we want, and after a big journey where we all think that we won’t survive, we come back together at the gate and have an epic battle with the villain, each one of us changed for the better, and we slay the dragon and get the damsel in distress.”

    “That sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. Can’t be just blow through the tunnels and get a whore back outside or something?” Belkar took out a dagger, throwing it hand to hand restlessly.

    “It doesn’t work that way,” Roy said, frowning at the tunnels. “You ready, Durkon?”

    “I’m done, lad.”

    Durkon handed out packs to everyone, looking thoroughly disgruntled. “It’s against ev’rythin’ I was taught as a healer, but I’m goin’ t’ ‘ave t’ leave ye all with jus’ a coupla bandages an’ painkillers fer when I’m na around.”

    “Yeah, yeah, cluck all you want. We’re all grown up now.” Belkar checked the contents of the bag and, satisfied, slung it over his shoulder. “Let’s get this over with.”

    Most people just nodded their goodbyes, or actually said them if they were so moved. Elan and Haley kissed each other, the blond saying something about some drama cliché guaranteeing that they would be back together soon. Both Roy and Durkon looked at Vaarsuvius before exchanging glances, both a little reluctant to leave the elf alone but neither having a choice in the matter.

    “Farewell. We shall see each other again soon.”

    With the soft goodbye from Vaarsuvius, the group split apart, each going a different direction.

    Deep in the heart of the dungeon, an imprint reached out, smirking, and started to pull the strings.

    ---

    Vaarsuvius and Blackwing traveled in companionable silence, the quiet only disturbed by the occasional rustle of cloth when the elf touched a pregnant abdomen after a particularly vicious cramp. Anyone else would have suggested that the mage take advantage of the painkillers that the healer had provided. Blackwing knew his master well enough to realize that it wouldn’t matter.

    The raven also knew better than to comment when Vaarsuvius had to stop numerous times to nurse the pain or make the dizziness go away. The only acknowledgement he gave was a gentle nip on the elf’s ear, a light reminder that Vaarsuvius wasn’t alone.

    The elf was grateful for it. When the female cleric said that the pregnancy would be difficult, the mage hadn’t been quite prepared for it. Vaarsuvius could deal with cramps, sore breasts, and headaches. Pain was a matter of the body, not the mind. But the dizziness and the light-headedness were just nuisances. The elf was well-aware of what little it would require to faint, and Vaarsuvius was not at all happy with it. And then there were the hormones to deal with. How the mage would hide it from everyone, especially when the time came to battle, Vaarsuvius had no idea. But hidden it would remain.

    Vaarsuvius was shocked out of these thoughts when a pale hand, previously lightly running against the cold green wall, hit something sticky and wet.

    The mage stiffened, a cold flare running down a tiny body, and slowly brought the affected hand up to look at.

    It was covered with blood.

    Vaarsuvius swallowed, trying to calm the nerves going haywire in a hormonal brain, and watched the crimson drip to the floor slowly. It wasn’t real. It was an illusion.

    It felt real.

    The mage slowly looked at the wall, rubbing sticky and warm fingers together, eyes widening at the trails of scarlet running down from the ceiling. It was a bad idea to look up. It was a really bad idea to look up.

    So, of course, Vaarsuvius looked up.

    And regretted it dearly.

    There was a natural shelf of rock at the ceiling. Four people were sitting up on it, glaring down at the elf, blood trailing from them and dripping down the walls, creating a fine red mist, the phosphorescence of the tunnel dimmed until it felt like the elf was in hell. Hell was red darkness.

    One of the gargoyles held his head tight in his hands, an angry fountain from his stump of a neck staining a blue uniform red, eyes narrowed in accusation, lips silently moving in what could have either been pleas or curses.

    “Worthless coward,” the woman spat, snapping sharpened teeth, before she started coughing, more blood welling up, making the coppery smell choking, and the smell of sulfur was growing and oh elven gods the head’s lips were still moving what were they doing here the blood was everywhere OH ELVEN GODS THE BLOOD

    “CHOKE ON YOUR USELESS GODDAMN MAGIC!”

    Vaarsuvius turned to run, but slipped on the red pool on the ground, falling hard in the warmth. The elf stumbled, trying to stand up, but the female gargoyle’s mouth opened up, a snake-like tongue snapping out and wrapping up tiny ankles.

    “I’ll kill your children!”

    “I’ll kill your mate!”

    “I’ll kill your comrades!”

    “AND YOU WON’T CARE!”

    oh great elven gods what was happening the lips on the head are still moving and oh great elven gods the blood was coming faster and its eyes were changing colors all yellow and orange and purple and THE BLOOD WAS COMING FASTER MAKE IT STOP

    “You did this to yourself, Other Parent.”

    Vaarsuvius looked down to see one of the beloved children tear through a vulnerable arm, the blood up to the little one’s waist, sharpened teeth stained red sunk deep into the mage’s flesh, pure yellow eyes dancing wildly and broken legs cracking under weight that they shouldn’t have to hold.

    “Always remember that.”

    Vaarsuvius shrieked in pain, fire shooting through the elf’s very being, and the other beloved child, orange-eyed, ripped sharp teeth through the mage’s other arm. The blood was rising and the children would drown in it oh great elven gods what was happening the children they should never have been involved why was this happening it hurt it hurt so much oh elven gods Vaarsuvius was going insane the elf could feel its mind unraveling THE ELF WAS GOING INSANE

    “You’re only forced to see what you did to us.”

    Inkyrius cocked a starkly pale head, purple eyes staring in a frozen grin, face looking like a bad mask, wrists and feet draining blood from where stakes were driven through them, green hair scarlet. “You see what you have done to us, Suvie?”

    Inkyrius raised thin arms and turned into a black dragon stained red, roaring and coming down to swallow Vaarsuvius whole.

    ---

    Redcloak looked up sharply at the sound of screaming. “Tsukiko?”

    He entertained the idea of letting the crazy Theurge bask in a different kind of madness for a moment, but the scream changed pitch, sounding increasingly desperate, and his moral compass was tripped.

    The goblin ran towards the sound, wondering what could possibly have made Tsukiko sound like that, but he stopped short when he came to the passage where the screams were coming from.

    “Vaarsuvius? Vaarsuvius, what’s wrong?!”

    The raven vainly scratched at the elf’s face and arms, pecking for good measure, but Vaarsuvius was sitting on the ground, face covered by arms that had obviously been ravaged by ragged nails and were now bleeding profusely, and screams of the likes Redcloak had never heard resonating out.

    His immediate instinct was to rush to the elf’s side and hold the little body close to his, heal the bleeding arms, and snap his lover out of whatever hellish daze this dungeon had cast. His next thought was that he was supposed to not care about Vaarsuvius anymore so he should take advantage of the situation and kill the enemy spell caster. His third thought was that this was another clever illusion.

    He should go. He’d dealt with too many illusions. Redcloak meant to go, but his body wouldn’t respond.

    He tried to leave again, but his heart wasn’t in it.

    The screams were too much. It was one thing to reject a horny imposter. It was another to ignore an unconfirmed imposter going insane.

    Redcloak ignored the surprised squawk from the raven when he came forward and knelt by the elf, lightly putting his hands on tiny shoulders…

    The tunnel stank of blood and the undead corpses of Azure City soldiers sat at the ceiling, one holding his own severed head, and two little demon children were grinning with a similar demon elf…

    Redcloak jerked his hands back, blinking the macabre vision away, and braced himself against what he instinctively knew was the product of his partner’s past, something he knew very little about. The scientist piped up, telling him to either leave the elf to face its own demons or kill it where it sat. It was only logical. The person scolded the scientist for referring to Vaarsuvius as an ‘it’ and quickly interjected that it would be cruel to leave his lover like this. The scientist loudly proclaimed that this probably wasn’t Vaarsuvius in the first place and he was falling into an obvious trap—admittedly, an obvious trap that was much harder not to run into. The person countered with the fact that he could handle almost any level of monster this place tried to throw at him. If this was real, then Vaarsuvius was going to go insane. Was he willing to risk that? Vaarsuvius was too proud and fiery to lose such an integral part!

    Redcloak left the two conflicting parts of his personality to squabble and lightly put his hands on the elf’s shoulders, forcing the visions of blood, smoke, and sulfur away from him and staying focused on Vaarsuvius. Was he doing the smart thing? No. He wasn’t. He should take advantage of this and claw the mage’s throat open.

    The goblin slapped the elf hard and the vision shattered.


    Thoughts?
    so is this a different story?
    Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
    "tics" meaning "little insects"

  16. - Top - End - #76
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by mizzim View Post
    so is this a different story?
    Yep.

    And, just incase I didn't mention this before, I'm ignoring the whole 'Belkar dying before the end of the year' thing. It wouldn't work with my story's timeline (I don't care what I do; V and Reddy wouldn't be sleeping together within four weeks of meeting).

    And I think I'm seriously starting to toe the 'is this going by the rules or not' line. I figure that if House of Horrors has gotten away with half the things it has, then this isn't so bad. But just a warning. There's some stuff in here that people might not want to read.

    Happy Halloween! :D

    Spoiler
    Show
    The blood was gone. The children were gone. The dragon/Inkyrius was gone. The gargoyles were gone. Nothing was left.

    Except for a person who Vaarsuvius wasn’t sure was real or not.

    The tunnel swayed. The only things holding the elf upright were two firm scaled hands on lightly trembling shoulders. Vaarsuvius noticed that there was new pain in a pale cheek and delicate arms, coupled with the feeling of warm liquid dripping down. Redcloak, or at least a shape shifter who was good at imitation, was kneeling on the ground, eyes staying trained on the elf’s face.

    Vaarsuvius wanted to look away, a persistent feeling of shame starting to pull hard within. Whether this was a shape shifter, a hallucination, or Redcloak himself, the elf had been caught in something deeply personal and undignified. No one should ever see the effects of the mage’s nightmares and visions. No one should ever hear the screams. No one should ever witness that disgraceful weakness. It was too private.

    Redcloak’s hands left the elf’s shoulders. The goblin’s face was expressionless as he gently fingered the cuts in Vaarsuvius’s face. “Cure Minor Wounds.”

    The elf looked down, the slashes on pale arms and face sewing themselves up until all that was left were all but invisible scars.

    A shape shifter wouldn’t know cleric spells unless it was an actual cleric. A cleric shape shifter in the depths of Girard’s dungeon would have no reason to heal Vaarsuvius.

    Redcloak looked like he would say something. Vaarsuvius hated conflicting feelings, and they were coming in waves. On one hand, there was pure joy at being with the goblin again, especially without anyone around forcing them to attack each other. On the other, there was fear of being alone with him and what emotions that would bring up. There was the embarrassment of being caught in disgrace. There was relief that it was Redcloak who had done it—he had seen worse. There was warmth in the elf’s chest and stomach at being with the cleric again. There was hatred of those feelings, because even if it was only on a subconscious level, the mage knew what they were and what they meant. Along with all that—and a vicious twinge from the elf’s abdomen served as a chilling reminder—Vaarsuvius knew that this goblin had unknowingly fathered the child now growing within the mage.

    Oh dear elven gods. Vaarsuvius was carrying Redcloak’s child. And he didn’t know.

    Damnation.

    This realization—something that Vaarsuvius should have already come to terms with—knocked the very breath from the elf’s lungs.

    Redcloak stood up wordlessly, oblivious to what was going through Vaarsuvius’s head, and turned to leave.

    The elf knew that the goblin should go. It was dangerous for them to talk, to even touch, when there was no one else’s presence to keep them in check. The feelings between them were too convoluted and ran too deep—dangerous territory.

    Blood started dripping down the walls and Vaarsuvius shook, trying to blink away the illusion but failing. “Redcloak…”

    The goblin glanced back, frowning, hiding a flash of worry in his eyes. Vaarsuvius never sounded so pathetic. Never.

    The elf seemed to catch on to the distinctly weak note to the voice and scowled at the floor, clenching small fists and trying to keep violet eyes away from the blood. Red started pooling on the floor, whispers coming from the very walls themselves. “You were a fool to save me.”

    Redcloak stayed expressionless, watching the elf with a face that would seem clinical and dispassionate to anyone else. If someone other than the mage’s loved ones had heard the harsh remark, Vaarsuvius would sound hard and angry. Redcloak knew better than that. He knew too much about the elf’s pride and defense mechanisms.

    He walked back against both their better judgment, kneeling before his partner and tentatively putting his hands on small shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he was permitted to touch Vaarsuvius anymore, but judging by the elf’s subtle lean into his hands, he was more than welcome. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

    The blood melted away and the whispers faded as soon as their skin met. Vaarsuvius resisted the urge to throw delicate arms around the goblin’s neck and kiss him until time itself ended. They couldn’t fall back into their old pattern. It was too dangerous. “The feeling is mutual.”

    Pain tore through the elf’s abdomen angrily, clawing for attention, giving Vaarsuvius a ruthless reminder that there was something within that demanded what the elf could not give—a body structure capable of handling what was being asked of it and proper rest and sustenance. As revenge, it dealt the elf a brutal token of one thing that could not be explained away, could not be ignored, that would bind the cleric and mage together until it ceased to exist.

    Vaarsuvius, to the elf’s credit, only winced slightly, stifling a cry and tightening thin lips a little. It was enough for Redcloak’s notice, though.

    “Are you still hurt?” He frowned, tightening his grip lightly on the elf’s shoulder. “Cure Light Wounds.”

    Pain receded for the moment, but Vaarsuvius knew well enough that it would come back if the elf continued without enough food, trance, and medical attention. People weren’t supposed to have this much cramping at the beginning of pregnancy. The backaches and the headache were normal, but the cramping was worrisome.

    “…Thank you. You are still a fool.”

    “Well, at least I know you’re not an illusion.” The slightest smile played over Redcloak’s lips. “Only Vaarsuvius could be healed and then insult the one who did it.”

    “And only Redcloak could be insulted for his mistakes and then repeat them mere moments later.”

    Redcloak’s hand twitched, an incomplete motion towards the elf’s face. “Vaarsuvius, I…” He stopped himself. “Never mind. You look like you haven’t tranced in a while.”

    Vaarsuvius shrugged vaguely. “I tranced last night.” In fact, the elf was a little suspicious of the circumstances of that, but considering that there had been no nightmares, Vaarsuvius was willing to overlook the possibility of deceit on the Order’s part.

    “One night doesn’t do much versus several nights prior.” Redcloak frowned at the phosphorescent walls around them. “It was nighttime when I got in here.”

    “It was the afternoon when I did, and I am rather certain you came first.”

    Redcloak nodded thoughtfully. “Then, if my sense of time is worth anything here, it’s night again. We should probably stay together for now—Dark One knows how this place will mess with our dreams.”

    Vaarsuvius recognized the favor Redcloak was doing. He was offering a good night’s rest just as he did in the Azure City castle, and in the process, he was sparing the elf hurt pride by only mentioning how they would equally benefit from it.

    The elf’s only response to this imprudent generosity was blinked thanks. “Either of us could easily kill the other in their sleep.”

    “True.” Redcloak leaned on the wall comfortably, cocking his head. “But neither of us will.” The same way neither of us did last time.

    Vaarsuvius hesitated, then slowly nodded, strands of purple hair falling out of the ponytail. “Very well.”

    On unspoken agreement, they both sidled up together, intertwining until both had their arms around the other, one providing heat and the other providing comfort. Redcloak noted worriedly that the elf was still shaking from the vision. Vaarsuvius noted gratefully that the goblin still hadn’t asked about it. By the same unspoken agreement, their hands stayed in completely respectful and pure areas. They were willing to extend some form of the emotional and physical intimacy they had shared in Azure City, but they knew better than to engage in anything more than the limited amount they had already permitted. They knew better than to engage in any at all, but both were feeling too weak to resist for different reasons.

    Vaarsuvius’s shaking tapered off and violet eyes glazed over in a trance. There weren’t any nightmares for either of them.

    ---

    Durkon didn’t understand the mechanics of magic and illusion too well. He had only been interested in his god as a child, a teenager, and as an adult. He had never intended to become a mage, so he didn’t see why he should try to learn anything about magic. But he knew what an illusion was and he knew that he was seeing one.

    That fact didn’t make his blood freeze any less.

    “Get off of me! How dare you?!”

    The sound of Vaarsuvius’s voice was piercingly clear, even though it was impossible that the elf was there. Durkon’s grip on his hammer tightened and he leaned against the wall, trying to calm himself down, and his eyes were fixed on the opposite wall just in front of a bend in the tunnel, shadows as clear as if they belongs to people just out of sight in the tunnel moving against the surface. One shadow was of a familiar, straight, impossibly slender body clothed in robes. The other was of some greater monster warped by Durkon’s own perceptions, only identifiable from the wicked claws on its long fingers, currently wrapped around the more slender shadow’s arms.

    The owner of the slender shadow twisted and continued to shout, trying to rip out of the monster’s grasp. “Unhand me immediately!”

    The monster said something in guttural goblin tongue, the shadows being forced closer and closer together. There was the sound of ripping clothes. “Get off of me. Get off of me. GET OFF OF ME!

    Durkon steeled himself. The shadows were of nothing. The sounds were just illusions. When he walked around the bend, it would be over. Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt again. Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt again. Vaarsuvius would never be hurt again as long as the Order existed.

    The demands morphed into horrible screams and the shadows meshed together. Durkon couldn’t go forward. If the dungeon had the power to make shadows and sounds, it had the power to make images of people. He wouldn’t be able to handle an outright sight.

    He went on his knees and prayed to Thor for strength, shaking, trying to block out the sounds. He wouldn’t be able to even walk to this illusion, let alone face it. He knew it wasn’t real. He knew that Vaarsuvius wasn’t being hurt. It was still too much. This hellish dungeon preyed on the fears of the adventurers who traveled within it. None of its visions were real. He just needed to remember that.

    Durkon didn’t know how long it took for the screams to recede, turning into soft whimpers, and for the shadows fade from the walls. The nightmare was over. The cleric could continue on his way, hopefully without anymore visions having to do with his worries about Vaarsuvius. He didn’t know if he could handle going through it again.

    He ignored the slight tremor his hands had developed and stood, taking pains to not notice the residual whimpers that were probably just echoes from the finished illusion. He was slow in walking around the bend.

    He quickly realized that he should have been slower.

    Vaarsuvius shook violently, sprawled prone on the ground, knees pulled up a little so they protected the abdominal area, purple hair loose and wild, robes ripped up and stained with blood. Even if Durkon hadn’t heard it, he would have known what had just happened.

    The elf let out a pathetically feeble whimper, shaking and propping up on trembling arms. Scratches ripped down them, blood squeezing out, and veins popped out of the flesh in an unhealthy way. Vaarsuvius glanced up, eyes widening at the sight of the dwarf. “Durkon?” The mage started shaking harder. “How long have you been there?”

    Durkon couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. “Vaarsuvius?”

    “You sat back and let him do those things?!” The violet eyes, already somewhat off from what Durkon was used to, drained to black and the surprisingly feminine voice became double-toned and guttural. “You call yourself a healer?! You call yourself my friend?! You allow me to spiral to my own doom through self-starvation and exhaustion, get captured by that monster, allow me to begin self-destructing again, and then you simply sit back and let the monster hurt me again?!

    Durkon knew that it was an illusion.

    He also knew that it was telling the truth.

    Seeing the affirmation in the dwarf’s eyes, the creature that looked like Vaarsuvius roared, face turning black with a giant mouth lined with sharp teeth, and its head snapped forward, giant mouth opening to swallow the dwarf whole.

    Then it was gone. Just like that. And there was nothing in the tunnel to imply that there had been anything there at all.

    Durkon didn’t start moving forward again until after a long while.

    ---

    “I know that you and I do not see eye-to-eye in most matters, especially concerning Vaarsuvius, but I think that she is your child and should be treated as such. It is your privilege to raise her. This is different. Why did you not tell her about this beforehand?”

    Vaarsuvius knew that everyone expected the child to be up in bed and asleep, but the apprentice couldn’t leave. The child huddled near the entrance of the living room, ears twitching as she eavesdropped.

    “‘Darius, I think you’re overreacting. She’s finding things out the natural way.”

    “We are past the dark ages! She thought she was dying. She was crying, Aula! In all my years of teaching her, I have never once seen her cry. She was that terrified.”

    Vaarsuvius blushed and curled into a ball of shame.

    “I will never doubt that you love her, but you are doing damage by this refusal to tell her about these things.”

    “Oh, she has been handling the changes in her body fine. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

    “Well, you explained about the different ways she would develop.”

    “No, we didn’t.”

    “What?!”

    The firelight flickered, almost going out before flaring then settling. A sign that Aarindarius was extremely upset, so much that his magic was affecting the world around him without his urging.

    Vaarsuvius started angling so the people within the living room could be seen.

    Parent and Other Parent were sitting on the couch nonchalantly, Other Parent lying down with his head in Parent’s lap. Aarindarius was pacing in front of the fire, biting his knuckle with his eyes closed. Vaarsuvius had only seen him do that once before when he had found out that a friend of his had become evil because of his lust for power. It was what Aarindarius did to calm down.

    “No wonder she has been so angry. You have left her nothing but confusion to work with.” Aarindarius spun around to face them, more agitated than Vaarsuvius had ever seen him. “You are willing to copulate in front of her and yet you won’t even warn her that she will begin menstruating?!”

    “Well, making love is perfectly natural.” Other Parent smiled up at the wizard, and expression completely at odds with Aarindarius’s. “She’ll find that out too.”

    You haven’t even explained that?!

    Aarindarius bit his knuckle and closed his eyes again, face turning an odd shade of red. “She is at the age where children get curious. You need to inform her about the feelings she will get and the things that she will want to do before she makes a horrible mistake.”

    “She doesn’t need to know. She’ll instinctively know when the time’s right.”

    “She will be taken
    advantage of, Tiberius!” Aarindarius tore his knuckle from his teeth, barely noticing as he scratched up the skin and throwing his hands in the air. “Did you learn nothing from the story of the cleric’s daughter in Corellon Larethian’s temple? She was used by the budding sociopaths among our teenage children because of her lack of knowledge! Vaarsuvius will start going into the town more, if not because she wants to but because she has to at this age. She is becoming beautiful. She will be noticed by the other teenagers. She won’t know what they are doing to her!”

    The fire flared dangerously again before Aarindarius caught himself. Vaarsuvius shook, curling tighter in a protective ball. The child had never seen the wizard this upset. Was she in danger? What were they talking about?

    “I know you love her. I love her as well. I do not want her to be hurt, especially in such a vile manner.”

    “And she won’t be.” Parent shifted, frowning at Aarindarius. “‘Darius, you’re getting worked up over nothing. The young elves here are good people. Suvie will attract them like honey, but they won’t hurt her.”

    “You are as naïve as you are loving, Aula. Individuals can be trusted, but you do not know all the teenagers of Ivyleaf. There are always depraved among the pure.” Aarindarius crossed his arms. “I love Vaarsuvius. It pains me to see her afraid and upset. She has been in a perpetual state of that since her puberty began.”

    “Now, ‘Darius, I think you’re exaggerating…”

    “I am not. She needs something to hold on to. She needs to know what her body is doing to her before she decides that it is something to hate. Don’t you see what you are doing to her?”

    “‘Darius, if you want to teach her about love and the body, we won’t stop you. We just don’t feel that it needs to be said.”

    “My friends, you are fools. If you won’t teach her, then I shall. I cannot stand to see her so afraid, and I
    will not stand to see her exploited because of her ignorance. As long as I live, she will have no reason to cry to me again.”

    The fire flickered again, the smell of thyme and rosewood, magic, strong in the air.

    Vaarsuvius stood and quietly padded to bed.

    Spoiler
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    The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story


    Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

  17. - Top - End - #77
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    I've revised my opinion: this story isn't 'poor V', it's 'poor everyone involved'. Especially Durkon.

    It's nice to see Reddy and V cuddling up together again, and with relatively little arguing. Just as long as Durkon doesn't walk into them while they're asleep.

    Pain receded for the moment, but Vaarsuvius knew well enough that it would come back if the elf continued without enough food, trance, and medical attention. People weren’t supposed to have this much cramping at the beginning of pregnancy. The backaches and the headache were normal, but the cramping was worrisome.
    Worrying indeed. At least there's a cleric there.

    “My friends, you are fools. If you won’t teach her, then I shall. I cannot stand to see her so afraid, and I will not stand to see her exploited because of her ignorance. As long as I live, she will have no reason to cry to me again.”
    I can't but help feel that after that, V's going to be thinking she can't cry or she'll let Aarindarius down.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  18. - Top - End - #78
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Two wonderful updates. I've really grown to love V x Haerta, and the way you write it, Zanaril, is fascinating. I can't wait for the next update. As for your story, Water-Smurf, poor Vaarsuvius and poor Durkon, but especially poor Vaarsuvius. Her parents are woefully... unhelpful, to say the least. That must make Aarindarius' "betrayal" all the more painful. And I really hope Aarindarius' "she'll be abused!" isn't foreshadowing about her teenaged years.

    And did Xykon allow Redcloak to regenerate his eye? You wrote about eyes.

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    /applause
    Yay! I can do sexy!
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  19. - Top - End - #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    And I really hope Aarindarius' "she'll be abused!" isn't foreshadowing about her teenaged years.
    Judging by how dark this story is already? I'd guess there are going to be some more bad trance memories.
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  20. - Top - End - #80

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Hmm... that baby's a bit weird...

    Redcloak doesn't happen to glitter in the sun, does he?

    Also, stingy Redcloak. Cure Minor Wounds and Cure Light Wounds. 1d8+6 damage healed.

    Woo. I've seen level 1 characters with more HP than can be healed by that.

    Granted, Redcloak isn't a good cleric, so it's not like he can convert his spells into healing spells.

    And he is involved a lot with undead, where Cure spells don't help much.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-10-31 at 06:24 AM.
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    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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  21. - Top - End - #81
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Another excellent chapter. I particularly like the trance at the end. V's parents are not good parents. No. Scratch that. They're TERRIBLE parents.

    Also, I really like the subtle details, such as Darius's habit of biting his knuckles.

  22. - Top - End - #82
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    :reads title:
    50% more squick? So, we'er doing 3 people now?

    Crystal X Xykon X Mr. Scruffy
    Now, a fanfic!

    ...

    Now I remember why I didn't post on the last two much.
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    Ah, thank you very much GreatWyrmGold, you obviously live up to that name with your intelligence and wisdom with that post.
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  23. - Top - End - #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler View Post
    Hmm... that baby's a bit weird...

    Redcloak doesn't happen to glitter in the sun, does he?
    Gah! Must... resist... mental... image...
    This post may contain sarcasm.
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  24. - Top - End - #84
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    Ah! NO! BAD! Burn burn BURN!

  25. - Top - End - #85
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    /raises hand

    Can I ask a question?

    In fact, the elf was a little suspicious of the circumstances of that, but considering that there had been no nightmares, Vaarsuvius was willing to overlook the possibility of deceit on the Order’s part.
    Could someone explain this bit to me?

    Great update, Zanaril. Haerta slowly poisoning V is a treat to read. Though...have you given up on V/Z? If you have, I'd like to try writing a little for that. Though I guess I would need a plot.

    I draw pictures:


    (haven't been updated in a while and you can read the comic here)

  26. - Top - End - #86

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post



    Could someone explain this bit to me?
    Durkon drugged V so she'd sleep trance. V had no nightmares, so she was willing to overlook the suspicious circumstances of her trancing like that.

    I think.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

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  27. - Top - End - #87
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    That's what I understood as well.

    Of course, if you want to be dark, you can say that drugging an elf actually is a bad idea, since they don't see memories when drugged and that elves need to see them, or else...
    Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.

  28. - Top - End - #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saeyan View Post
    Great update, Zanaril. Haerta slowly poisoning V is a treat to read. Though...have you given up on V/Z? If you have, I'd like to try writing a little for that. Though I guess I would need a plot.
    I haven't given up so much as run out of ideas for now.

    Feel free to write V/Z all you like.
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  29. - Top - End - #89
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Now I'm confused about illusions. They're just pictures, right? Can they hurt you if you respond to them? Or do they just have more power over you if you react?

    I either need to stop reading The Shining until Water-Smurf is done with VxRC, or stop reading VxRC until I'm done with The Shining. I'm just confusing myself at this point.

    EDIT: Happy Halloween, all!
    Last edited by Meg; 2009-10-31 at 10:16 AM.

    ...And that is how I met your father.

  30. - Top - End - #90

    Default Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher View Post
    Now I'm confused about illusions. They're just pictures, right? Can they hurt you if you respond to them? Or do they just have more power over you if you react?
    I think it depends on what spell is being used.

    Some (such as Silent Image) are just images, but others (Shadow Evocation, Shadow Conjuration) are so potent that you suffer effects such as damage from them.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

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