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  1. - Top - End - #1231
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Wiwaxia's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1800. I may not ingest a sunrod.

  2. - Top - End - #1232
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1801: Illithid's may not be Tiger Claw masters
    1801a: Especially not ulitharids
    1801b: even if it works especially well together...

    1802: I am not allowed to point out the DM's Inconsistances in an encounter
    1802a: Nor am I allowed to abuse such inconsitances to get multiple actions a round, or effectivly teleport, or somehow pick up roguish skills when I'm playing a Binder
    1802b: even if it was the DM informing my my turn had come again, I was over there, or I could spot said trap

    1803: I may not point out that a ranger makes a better historical samurai than a samurai, unless I want complete warrior launched at my head
    Last edited by BlackestOfMages; 2011-11-23 at 08:25 AM.

  3. - Top - End - #1233
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages View Post
    1801: Illithid's may not be Tiger Claw masters
    1801a: Especially not ulitharids
    1801b: even if it works especially well together...

    1802: I am not allowed to point out the DM's Inconsistances in an encounter
    1802a: Nor am I allowed to abuse such inconsitances to get multiple actions a round, or effectivly teleport, or somehow pick up roguish skills when I'm playing a Binder
    1802b: even if it was the DM informing my my turn had come again, I was over there, or I could spot said trap

    1803: I may not point out that a ranger makes a better historical samurai than a samurai, unless I want complete warrior launched at my head
    1803.B) If I say the same thing about the pathfinder samurai, I will instead get 2 books launched at me.

    1804. I may not play a warden if I am a Renvant.
    1804. b) If I do, I am not emo because my divided nature makes me hate myself
    1804 C) And I do not wear eyeshadow under my mask.
    1805.) Having a melee 2 pull as an at-will dose not allow me to scream out "GET OVER HERE" every time I use it.
    1805.) Screaming out "FATALITY" and "FLAWLESS VICTORY" are also inexcusable.
    1806. I am not to carry a corpse around.
    1806. Multiple corpses are right out.
    1807: Cannot slide anything straight up.
    (Fun fact: 1804 and 1807 are things I am actually doing in the fey-wild campaign. Well, except the emo bits. Those are just in-jokes.)
    Last edited by Doorhandle; 2011-11-23 at 11:42 PM.
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
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  4. - Top - End - #1234
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    (Fun fact: 1804 and 1806 are things I am actually doing in the fey-wild campaign. Well, except the emo bits. Those are just in-jokes.)
    Feywild. Oh man, if I ever choose 4e over 3.5, it'll be because of fluff. Feywild, Chernoggar, Elemental Chaos, they even made the prime material plane interesting with the legacies of Arkhosia, Bael Turath, and... whatever the most recent empire was called.
    Avatar of George the Dragon Slayer, from the upcoming Indivisible!
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  5. - Top - End - #1235
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1807: If the spells I'm getting the most use out of are Disguise Self and Prestidigitation, I'm not doing it right.

  6. - Top - End - #1236
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    There are spells besides prestidigitation?
    Resolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.

  7. - Top - End - #1237
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1808: I may not receive bonus XP for giving the DM brownies.
    1808b:Taking the brownies back was uncalled for.
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    BY THE HEAVENS! Dimonite! You are even more awesome than I thought!
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    *high fives!*
    That was awesome, made me smile.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Witch-King View Post
    THIS aberrant, ancient evil ain't no playa! I'm gonna take care of my little Meduthids and my Spawnling Mama! Besides which--the Old Ones know the Elder Brain keeps pestering me about giving it some Grandspawnlings...
    The Neutralizer - my 3.5 class that attempts to make wizards less OP.
    Fantastic dragonpuppy drawn by my sister in the ancient times.

  8. - Top - End - #1238
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1809: I am not allowed to be a thri-kreen called tik-kit auto-hit
    1810: I am also not allowed to make tik-kit a warblade
    1810b: Warblade gestalt dungeoncrasher fighter is also out
    1811: Also, I cannot reflavor my jumps so that i can declare the downward arc as a bull rush
    1811b: And finally, i can't call it Goomba Stompin'

  9. - Top - End - #1239
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1812 No more sociopathic sorcerer/rogues. FOR THE LOVE OF STUFF, NO MORE SOCIOPATHIC SORCERER/ROGUES!!!

    Especially not when they were unjustly locked in an asylum as a child and their primary goal is 'asplode my uncle for sending me there'.
    GLORIOUS SOVIET SNAIL SUPERTECHNOLOGY

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  10. - Top - End - #1240
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    1813: I am to stop referring to the party followers as the Mobile Trap Detection Squadron.
    1813b: Even if it is an accurate description of their duties.
    1813c: Especially if it is an accurate description of their duties.

    1814: I am no longer allowed to spend all of my WBL on alcohol.
    1814b: No, my character is not going to put the "party" back in adventuring party.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  11. - Top - End - #1241
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1814a: Same applies to cakes, dresses (especially if you are male), non-magic rings and trained mosquitoes.

    (sadly enough I saw 3 of the 4 in action...two of them worked as a combat method...)


    Quote Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
    2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.

  12. - Top - End - #1242
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1815:
    My paladin may not yell "Stop, you violated the law!"
    1815a:
    Neither may he yell "Stop right there criminal scum!
    1815aa:
    Especially towards the party rogue.
    1815b:
    In fact I may not quote any of the guards from Elder Scrolls games.
    1816:
    The Assassins Guild is not called the Dark Brotherhood.
    1816a:
    An Assassins Guild is not any kind of brotherhood.
    1817:
    In fact I may not make any Elder Scrolls or Assassins Creed Jokes.
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    Just one of those guys vs girls things. Guys like giant, fighting robots that shoot lazerz out their eyes while girls like pretty jewelry that sparkle in the moonlight after having a romantic interlude with a charming gentleman.

    Completely sexist, yes! Completely true, pretty much...
    I have Steam cards and other stuff! I am selling/trading them.

  13. - Top - End - #1243
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    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1818: If I make my players be apart of the Elder Scrolls setting I cannot follow any conventions used by Bethesda to keep them on the rails

    1819: Breaking the rails is the players job
    1819b: No matter what
    1819c: To keep with this idea DM's must remember no matter were they go what the journey may be they always end were you want
    1819d: But killing the king in the middle of his throne room is still evil and going to get you killed
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    You're a frickin' ninja below me, too!? You got mad skills, Vknight.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    Rogue vs. Dog. (The new Cat vs. Commoner, only not amusing!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    You are making the assumption of rational planning. After 37 years of dungeon crawling, I still have zero evidence that the average dungeon was designed by the sane.
    "Sleep is optional, just ask Vknight" Someone I Forget but thanks... I don't

  14. - Top - End - #1244
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1820: I may not gain premature entrance to the BBEG's evil lair by posing as a KFC delivery man, regardless of how high my bluff check is.
    1820b: I may also never again eldritch blast a door guard in the face whilst shouting the fell invocation: "Here's your chicken, bitch!"

    1821: I may never again, as DM, thwart the will of Pelesus Jesor. To do so would invoke dire consequences, such as a 3 hour long Baptist-style lecture on the wages of deus ex machina.
    Stuffs:
    The Samurai

  15. - Top - End - #1245
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1822: I am no longer allowed to have an automatic success on a roll simply because the result totaled forty-two.
    1822a: Even if I thrust a copy of "The complete hitchhiker's guide" in my DM's face.
    1822b: Especially if I thrust a copy of "The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide" it my DM's face.
    1823: I am not allowed to pull random levers in dungeons.
    1823a: This applies doubly if a given lever drops a 16-ton weight.
    1823b: Or releases a tiger. Generally speaking, the tiger will be just as hostile to me and the rest of the party as it will be to any enemies in the room, if not more so.
    1824: I am no longer allowed to yell "Taste the Rainbow, bitch!" when casting Prismatic ray.
    1825: I am no longer allowed to involve the Winter Court of Fae in campaigns where they would normally not be present.
    1826: I must always keep in mind that MLP:FiM and D&D are separate things. Therefore, I am no longer allowed to play a Paladin of the Lunar Republic in campaigns that are not exclusively Ponyfinder.
    He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. -Friedrich Nietziche

  16. - Top - End - #1246
    Ogre in the Playground
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    1827: I cannot have more than two Methuselahs blood bonded to me in V:tM.

  17. - Top - End - #1247
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    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1828: no matter my bluff skill, "look, a distraction" will not work
    1828b: Nor will "believe me when I lie to you"

  18. - Top - End - #1248
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    ElfPirate

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    1829: I will not step off the only road the country has in order to walk around some plot-oriented dead thing laying in the middle of it.

  19. - Top - End - #1249
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1829a: especially if said dead thing is my own corpse (not idea how that happened though...)


    Quote Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
    2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.

  20. - Top - End - #1250
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    BardGuy

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    1830: If in one session our party has grown wings, rode a tree into the stratosphere, dropped a pony off said tree and then burned down a bar we should allow our DM at least six minutes to contemplate the full effect this would have on the rest of the adventure

    (actually happened, I was DM)
    Resolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.

  21. - Top - End - #1251
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    Sgt. Cookie's Avatar

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    1831: I may not state that since all skin is made up of dead cells, technically, shaking someone's hand means that you have broken your vow of purity.
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

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    Chaotic neutral. Might rob you blind. Might save your life. Might do both.

  22. - Top - End - #1252
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1832: I may no longer build my character around the concept of Fireball being his Reflex-targeting Save Or Die spell.
    1833: A flamer is completely and utterly inappropriate for a hunting trip held by the planetary governor.

  23. - Top - End - #1253
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    Kobold

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1834: Threatening to turn the summoning circle a demon is bound to into a latrine is totally unacceptable
    1834 b): After concluding negotiations with said demon, it is bad form to insult their mother.
    Steam ID: The Great Squark
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  24. - Top - End - #1254
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    1835: Basing my PC off of Link displays a lack of creativity. Basing my PC off of Navi displays a desire to be killed by the rest of the party.

    1836: Sithis does not exist in the game, so I should stop threatening the other PCs / random NPCs / the DM with his wrath.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  25. - Top - End - #1255
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1837: Trying to win in Polaris.
    1837a: Or any other narrative game.

    1838: I won't shout "Gear Second" when casting haste (or haste being cast on me).

    1839: Same applies for "Gear third" and Enlarge Person

    1840: I will not try to reproduce MK fatalities using magic or psionics.

    1841: Cthulhu, Yog-sothoth, Shub-Niggurath or any other Lovecraftian creature is not an acceptable patron deity for my Thri-kreen Rogue/Soul Eater.
    1841a: Especially in a campaign set in Forgotten Realms. (Actually did this one. I suspect it's the reason I never got invited back).
    Divinely masterful avatar by Ceika. The Four Voices of Esto.

  26. - Top - End - #1256
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    Marillion's Avatar

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    1842: Avalon is NOT where men are men and sheep are scared.
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    I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.

  27. - Top - End - #1257
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    More glorious bull-crap From me an my party in the D&D feywild encounters. ...except for the watchman reference.

    1843: Yes, in 4th edition, you can critical-hit and trip an Ooze. Don't ask me how*.
    1844: I may not use "I'm pretty." as a verbal tic.
    1844.b) May not literally have a verbal tick as a familiar.
    1845. The Crystal Caves are not are extended gutters and the gutters are not full of blood and the drains will not finally scab over and all the eladrin will not then drown.
    1845.B)Even if the accumulated filth of all their ghosts and oozes will foam up about their waists and all the Monks and Artificers will look up and shout "Save us!", I shall not look down, and whisper "No."
    1846.C) Watchmen is not to be used as a moral framework.
    1846. Oozes, do not have couches, and they do not sit on them while watching porn.
    1846.B) Seriously. Jellies don't breed that way.
    1847. Even if trained, may not, as a Renavant, use the standard action I get before my death save to make a heal check on myself.
    1848. Even if her character portrait states otherwise, the flippy kung-fu Monk dose not wear a skirt, and definitely does not go commando.
    1849. The party artificer is not allowed to borrow my healing surges and run.
    1850. If a late character returns to the group, and then an ooze drops down form the ceiling and attacks us, it is not automatically his fault.
    1851. The "Echo" ghost dose not need (it dose not need, a microphone (a MICROPHONE!), and while it's voice may ****ing (****ing,) POOOOOWEEEERFUUUUL! ...I am not allowed to sing that to the rest of the party.
    1851 .B), Okay fine, only if I'm a bard.
    1852: Shadowforged swords are not light-sabers.
    1852:B) They are also only dark-sabers in name only.
    1853:C) They are definitively not orange transparent chainsaws because being made of shadow kind precludes being orange.
    1854: Not allowed to task the oracle to tell us the last diget of Pi.
    1854:B) Or if the Raven Queen could make a sandwich so big, even she couldn't eat it.
    1854. C) If I ask anything that means the D.M has to look ahead in the module to find, I am to give him aspirin first.

    *Hit them in the nucleolus? Maybe sucker punch them in the Golgi apparatus?
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  28. - Top - End - #1258
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    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post

    1843: Yes, in 4th edition, you can critical-hit and trip an Ooze. Don't ask me how*.

    *Hit them in the nucleolus? Maybe sucker punch them in the Golgi apparatus?
    Easy, oozes have their mass centered near the bottom due to gravity, so a critical hit is aimed near the bottom, inflicting more damage. For tripping, you smack them from the top, flattening them/spreading them thin, and they spend their turn to "rise from prone" molding themselves into a less-flat shape/pulling itself to its center.
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  29. - Top - End - #1259
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    Jbr208's Avatar

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    1855: I may not kick down a door from "side A" when I know there is a six year old orphan desperately trying to unlock the door from "side B"
    1855a: Exception: if something will catch and kill at least one party member if the door isn't opened now.
    1856: Not allowed to throw a scythe, in frustration, indoors if I don't pick a direction to throw first. This leads to the dice gods great amusement as the caster rolls up a new character.
    1856a: No longer allowed to throw melee weapons in frustration.
    1856b: Throwing javelins, spears, and similar weapons in frustration is right out.

  30. - Top - End - #1260
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    Zombie

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

    1857) The command words for the magic dagger that turns into a magic sword is not "Thunder. Thunder. Thundercats. HOOOOOO!!!!!"

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