Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

[Closak]

We had to sign in blood?

I distinctly remember signing in acid.


Also, the ABD is even invading my dreams now

[Zanaril]

I distinctly remember signing in acid.

That is your blood.

[CoffeeIncluded]

...I signed away my mental block to keep myself from thinking of these things. (Although the text-to-images processing unit of my brain remains mercifully switched off)

[Zanaril]

(Although the text-to-images processing unit of my brain remains mercifully switched off)

The switch to mine is broken; it's permanently on.

[Closak]

errr....okay.

ABD x The IFCC.
Aliens Made Them Do It and pregnancy.

...
....
....

*Jumps into pool of lava*

[CoffeeIncluded]

The switch to mine is broken; it's permanently on.

Have you risked walking in on crack and squick every five minutes since the moment your friends hit puberty and quite a while beforehand?

...Yeah. Eventually, you have to learn it, if only to preserve the fraying threads of whatever sanity is left to you.

[Kaytara]

Damn you, Saeyan, that is awesome. I especially love it how you do faces. And the shading on V's robes is awesometastic.

*grumblegrumblestupidrivalcrackartistsgrumble*

[Meg]

This picture is based on the assumption that she lives to grow up. It's based on CheeseMuncher's picture from a lot of pages back. Except my version doesn't have colors, so she just looks like an elf with tiny fang...tusk things.

Spoiler

Show

I'm flattered. And jealous. But mostly flattered.

[Zanaril]

*grumblegrumblestupidrivalcrackartistsgrumble*

It's good for keeping you on your toes.

[Kaytara]

Indeed it is. :D

I've taken my own shot at the V x RC child cuteness. Seeing as everyone seems to draw her as an adult already, I drew her as a baby. :)

Spoiler

Show

In colour soon. :D

[Zanaril]

I've taken my own shot at the V x RC child cuteness. Seeing as everyone seems to draw her as an adult already, I drew her as a baby. :)

Ha! I love how enthusiastic Reddy looks.

[Meg]

Indeed it is. :D

I've taken my own shot at the V x RC child cuteness. Seeing as everyone seems to draw her as an adult already, I drew her as a baby. :)

Spoiler

Show

In colour soon. :D

D'aaaaawwwwwwwwwwww. That is the new Cutest Thing on The Thread.

[Mordokai]

Indeed it is. :D

I've taken my own shot at the V x RC child cuteness. Seeing as everyone seems to draw her as an adult already, I drew her as a baby. :)

Spoiler

Show

In colour soon. :D

I love V's hair. And if anything, this picture has made me realised how screwed up a perception is. After all, most of the time, goblins are small in DnD and while I know this is not the case with RC, this picture is the first time that really made me realise that.

But really nice picture there. Don't much care about this whole crack pairing thread(with all due respect to you guys and gals, of course, I have no problems with you), but this is a really nice piece of art.

[The Succubus]

There are so many awesome artists in this thread - it truly is mind blowing.

I can't believe I missed this category the first time round: Best Artist -Awarded to the person that puts pencil to paper in a way that makes viewers drop to their knees and beg for more.

Tomorrow evening I'll compile that categories we have (author and character) and press gang a couple of crack-regulars into judging.

[Zanaril]

I can't believe I missed this category the first time round: Best Artist -Awarded to the person that puts pencil to paper in a way that makes viewers drop to their knees and beg for more.

Are the categories for the authors or for specific stories/pictures?


If it's the latter, you could split Best Artist into a few categories:

Most D'awww Inspiring Picture

Crackiest Scene

Best Face

Squickiest Implied Squick.

Cutest Couple

Etc, etc...

[CoffeeIncluded]

Awwwww!!!!

Hey! If we've got clerics and domains now, how about spells!

Summon Pairing (And Summon Greater Pairing, and Summon Major Pairing, and finally, Summon Bicycle.)

Create Crack Fic (Create Greater Crack Fic, Create Major Crack Fic, and finally, Create Crack Series)

If you fail the save DC, you become sickened and possibly blinded.

[Kaytara]

And done! Colour! :D

Did a banner, too, because I can't think of anything that says CRACK better than a serene RC and V holding their child. XD Actually the whole reason I started this picture, in the first place - looking forward to the reactions of the people who'll inevitably be assaulted by it on the forum.





The more I think (and draw) about it, the cuter and more "right" this pairing becomes. :) Kudos, Water-Smurf. XD I'm going to bed now. x_x

[Silverraptor]

Kaytara,

That is Soooooooo Adorable! It is certainly "Awww" worthy to maximum potential.

[CoffeeIncluded]

That is absolutely FREAKING AWESOME!!!

[esmerelder]

Awwww! *runs up to V and RC and hands them a congratulatory gift basket*

That is so completely adorable, and it is so going to break the brains of everyone who beholds it on the rest of the forum. Nice work!!!

[Cracklord]

Spoiler

Show

And done! Colour! :D

Did a banner, too, because I can't think of anything that says CRACK better than a serene RC and V holding their child. XD Actually the whole reason I started this picture, in the first place - looking forward to the reactions of the people who'll inevitably be assaulted by it on the forum.





The more I think (and draw) about it, the cuter and more "right" this pairing becomes. :) Kudos, Water-Smurf. XD

Congratulations. You have moved the cold, dead, crusty thing in my chest that would be a heart in any normal person, well insulated by layers of pain and cynicism.

Good work.

[Aaron]

Kaytara,

That picture is soooo full of "Awww." You are a great artist!





P.S.: Wow! Five pages in one weekend, I have some catching up to do. *runs off and starts reading, brain bleach ready.*

[Skeppio]

Spoiler

Show

Wow, that's absolutely brilliant!

[The Dark Fiddler]

The more I think (and draw) about it, the cuter and more "right" this pairing becomes. :) Kudos, Water-Smurf. XD I'm going to bed now. x_x

That kind of defeats the purpose of 'crack' though.

Also, I'm so using that banner. I need to. If I don't, I'll die. To death.

[Lycan 01]

This thread is filled with so much win. Esmerelders VxBelkar fic was so touching, yet so deviously funny... Kaytara's art is simply amazing. If they wouldn't raise so many eyebrows, some of those pics would be prospective backgrounds.

Oh, and as for how people would react to me reading/posting in this thread...

My parents wouldn't really care, though my mom might be somewhat horrified and my dad might think its good that people are enjoying my writing... My little bro would make fun of me 'til the day I died. My friends would think it was weird... or they might find it hilarious, and possibly try it themselves. Actually, probably the latter outcome. My girlfriend knows about it, and she doesn't really care for better or worse. In fact, she helped me with the Miko x Redcloak fic.



So yeah, my mind has been formulating all sorts of possibilities for V x Ciaphas Cain. Its irksome, because even though I've come up with how it would be set up, and how the pairing itself would be formed, I have no idea how the story would be resolved... Plus, I dunno if anybody would actually like it.


*ignores nagging urge to work on Miko x Redcloak for the time being*

Lets try the random roller and see if I can come up with something...


*picks out ones that might work*

Julia Greenhilt + Miko
Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens) + American high school setting + Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)


Roy's Archon + Miko
Unrequited love


Bozzok + The dragon's hoard
True love


(Durkon + Nale) + Mr Scruffy
Drunkeness



And...

((Xykon + Julio Scoundrel + Hilgya) + Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might) + Shadowdancer
Everyone is a furry version of themselves

NO.


Anybody want to try any of these? Or want to see me try any of them myself?

[Meg]

Y'know, everytime I look at the new pic/banner, I notice how young Redcloak looks. Seriously, he looks like he's 17. Damn. I always forget he's still a teenager. I like rambling. It's fun. But not as fun as not having to do late work, so I should stop and actually work on my assignments. Alas.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Hmm... it's time for me to go to bed, but I still haven't written my Oracle/Zz'dtri story...

Starting tomorrow at about, say... 6 PM, Eastern Time, somebody PM me every day I don't write and post the story for.

[Cracklord]

My parents wouldn't really care, though my mom might be somewhat horrified and my dad might think its good that people are enjoying my writing... My little bro would make fun of me 'til the day I died. My friends would think it was weird... or they might find it hilarious, and possibly try it themselves. Actually, probably the latter outcome. My girlfriend knows about it, and she doesn't really care for better or worse. In fact, she helped me with the Miko x Redcloak fic.

Eh, this thread is the least of my worries. Anyone finds any of my stories about characters I don't like that are uncensored, and their will be trouble.

So yeah, my mind has been formulating all sorts of possibilities for V x Ciaphas Cain. Its irksome, because even though I've come up with how it would be set up, and how the pairing itself would be formed, I have no idea how the story would be resolved... Plus, I dunno if anybody would actually like it.

It's 40K. Take refuge in sheer audacity.

Well, many primitive worlds see psychic manifestations as magic, so this could simply be a world on the fringes of the warp, outside wider Imperial space. Cain is sent to investigate about a possible Orc menace, or something, and takes a liking to V, and the elf (Metahuman) is made Cain's other aide de camp.

Imperial invasion follows. The Stickverse is crushed. I mean, warheads aren't enough to take out certain types of tanks, and Plasma cannons shoot roughly 1/5 the heart of a star. And if invasion doesn't work, they can simply burn the atmosphere and let everyone die, as even those that don't need to breath will get hit by the direct rays of the sun, burning them to death.

Bonus points if Cain, covering for V, arranges for Belkar to be 'escorted' of world on the black ships of the Inquisition on suspicion of being a heretic. I wonder how he'd deal with the black and blacker morality of Warhammer, where good, righteous people are considered so because they commit atrocities on a level Belkar couldn't even comprehend, and the average Imperial Civilian could chew him up and spit him back out without breaking a sweat (Like Catchan or Necromunda, or maybe Cadia).

Whops, degenerated into Belkar hate a bit there. Ignore it.

Oh, and here's some more of V and Morathi

Spoiler

Show

Varsuvius lay naked, burning as though with a fever, totally spent. The flesh of the wizards arms was sticky, streaked with blood and sweat and fluids. The mages hair was tangled and matted with wine and less savoury liquids, and V's nerves sang with spent desires.

The woman…Morathi… was curled around the wizards aching body, her white flesh gleaming and shaking with exhaustion.

“Are you satisfied?” She purred.

“No.” Vaarsuvius replied honestly “I still hunger.”

A shiver went through the woman.

"But first I want answers. Who are you, and where am I?"

“You’re not in your world anymore. She who thirsts heard your cries across the yawning gulfs of space, and was drawn to them. You have tasted the gifts, your soul is forfeit.”

V’s eyes snapped open, and a look of mixed shock and outrage flickered across the elf’s face, but the women only laughed, a high, tinkling sound that somehow endeavored to sound regal and cruel.

“Are you going to tell Slaanesh different? If so, I suggest you find the deepest darkest corner of the multiverse and cower in there as long as you can. The Lords of chaos never relinquish what they take as their own.”

Vaarsuvius sat upright, arms trembling with the effort after the strain of the hedonistic indulgences the cult had enjoyed. “If you think for one moment I will-“

“Oh shut up.” Morathi said, sitting up alongside the mage. “Who said slavery was unpleasant? I think you’ll find it’s quite the opposite.”

For perhaps the first time in the wizards long life, Vaarsuvius was totally speechless. At last, the wizard choked out a response. “What… but…why?”

She smiled a chilling smile that was both soul-blastingly terrible and deeply erotic. “Power.” She said, rolling the word across her full lips. “Slaanesh is generous with the gifts he bestows his fateful. He asks nothing but we be free and wild, beyond all classifications of good and evil, and know no master but our own desire. Throw laws and morals aside and shout and revel, and let him speak to you and teach you knew ways to ecstasy and pleasure. She will give you anything you want. Power. Immortality. Knowledge. Wine, women or men, song, whatever you ask.”

“And all he wants is…”

Morathi traced a soft finger down the side of the elf’s cheek. “Return to you’re world. Live, revel and flourish, and let your cries of ecstasy draw She who firsts to your world.”

“Are you coming?”

“No.”

A wrenching pain began in the wizard’s chest. This wasn’t love. V knew that much. Love gave, this was a dark, unhealthy obsession, an attempt to escape the pain of longing for companionship and one to many failures on one side, and a bid for power on the other.
Just the same, it hurt.

“Think of me, and perhaps one day we will meet again.” Morathi said, before standing up and departing.

OK. Not romantic, because Morathi is not capable of love, and barely able to feel lust anymore, and V, well, our favorite wizard isn't romantic either. So I made it a power thing.

Anyway, Belkar is now a pawn of Belial, and V is being used by a chaos god to make it's way into the stickverse.
I want to make all the order of this type in this particular continuity, so if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

[Lycan 01]

It's 40K. Take refuge in sheer audacity.

What's that mean, exactly?

Well, many primitive worlds see psychic manifestations as magic, so this could simply be a world on the fringes of the warp, outside wider Imperial space. Cain is sent to investigate about a possible Orc menace, or something, and takes a liking to V, and the elf (Metahuman) is made Cain's other aide de camp.

Elf. In 40K. As Cain's second aide de camp. Um... I think he'd be too busy to even consider that since he'd be crying at the sight of an Eldar Farseer materializing right in front of him.

Imperial invasion follows. The Stickverse is crushed. I mean, warheads aren't enough to take out certain types of tanks, and Plasma cannons shoot roughly 1/5 the heart of a star. And if invasion doesn't work, they can simply burn the atmosphere and let everyone die, as even those that don't need to breath will get hit by the direct rays of the sun, burning them to death.

I'm... I'm not even touching that.

Bonus points if Cain, covering for V, arranges for Belkar to be 'escorted' of world on the black ships of the Inquisition on suspicion of being a heretic. I wonder how he'd deal with the black and blacker morality of Warhammer, where good, righteous people are considered so because they commit atrocities on a level Belkar couldn't even comprehend, and the average Imperial Civilian could chew him up and spit him back out without breaking a sweat (Like Catchan or Necromunda, or maybe Cadia).

While interesting to think about, I'd rather not drag Belkar along for the ride. (Yet) It'd take too much plot modification, and it would mess up a few scenes I've considered...

Whoops, degenerated into Belkar hate a bit there. Ignore it.

Riiiight...

Oh, and here's some more of V and Morathi

Spoiler

Show

-snip-

Oooooh, yay! An update! That was good. Very well written, and full of plot-twisty goodness!

OK. Not romantic, because Morathi is not capable of love, and barely able to feel lust anymore, and V, well, our favorite wizard isn't romantic either. So I made it a power thing.

Understandable...

Anyway, Belkar is now a pawn of Belial, and V is being used by a chaos god to make it's way into the stickverse.
I want to make all the order of this type in this particular continuity, so if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Hm. The Emperor needs to send somebody dreams... I'd say Roy, but Elan would be funnier, especially if he started dressing as a Commissar and running around with a skeleton puppet.

[Saeyan]

Spoiler

Show

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD I think I love you.

My little bro would make fun of me 'til the day I died. My friends would think it was weird.

This is why Saeyan exists only here and on FF.net, and only in these two places.

I'm thinking I should draw Aandy and Kyrie's illicit child.

Edit:

Spoiler

Show

Okay so I kind of suck at drawing stuff on a computer. It always messes up my sense of proportion...